My father only brings negative energy into the family. I want my parents to divorce. What should I do?

Hello. From your description, I can sense your concern for your mother and your sense of helplessness regarding your father. After reading the responses to you, I would like to offer my perspective.

First and foremost, it is important to remember that the decision to get divorced is a personal choice that only the parents can make. As children, our role is to do our best to fulfill our duties as children. While it is natural to offer advice, it is not our place to make decisions for our mothers.

The family can be seen as a team that faces the challenges of survival. It seems that the father has encountered difficulties in his life, which have affected his health and income, leading to feelings of existential anxiety. You may wish to change your father, but are unsure of how to begin, and therefore choose to avoid the issue. How do you navigate your relationship with your father?

Could it be that love is the answer to everything? It seems to be the only thing that can change people. Would you be so kind as to consider that perhaps the father's anger is a sign of his unease and anxiety?

It might be helpful for him to consider making some adjustments, both physically and mentally.

If the questioner is unable to persuade his father in a short period of time and does not want his mother to suffer, he might consider allowing his mother to work outside the home for a while to see if the parents can adapt and whether there will be any improvement. The father may be depressed, so in normal times, he could engage in activities that he finds rewarding, such as growing vegetables or raising chickens. It might be helpful to start with small things to arouse his love for life.

I would like to suggest that the questioner avoid overstepping the mark and attempting to solve problems for his mother. This is something that should be left to the parents. By returning to your position and fulfilling your duties as a daughter, you may find that your father's anger subsides to some extent. I hope this is helpful.

Hello, question asker!

It's clear from what you've said that you're really worried about your mum. I can tell you're not at ease, even though you're about to leave home to go to university. It's so hard when your parents split up, isn't it? You're going to have to learn to help your mum deal with your dad's bad temper on a daily basis.

Mom, you are so lucky to have a child who thinks of you like this!

There's still some time before you go to university, so don't worry! We can see what you can do in the meantime to feel at ease about studying and not have to worry too much about your parents. It would be even better if you could help to ease the relationship between your parents!

I'm so sorry to hear about your father's illness and work frustrations. I'm really interested to know what the family's attitude towards him was when he encountered these difficulties. Did they give him support and encouragement?

As the man of the house, he has a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. When he faced a double whammy of health issues and work challenges, I imagine the pressure must have been overwhelming. My dad's illness at the time seemed pretty serious, and it's likely it took a toll on his future physical health or life. On top of that, his work wasn't going well, so he probably didn't have a solid plan for the future. "When I'm not working, I just lie in bed watching videos every day."

When he's not at work, he might feel even more uneasy when he's around his family. He might experience some negative emotions, like panic, loss, frustration, and even anger. If he can't deal with these emotions in time, he might give up and throw in the towel.

I'm not sure what the father's like before, whether he was ambitious or not. A middle-aged man who has to support his family is generally not allowed to let himself go, and he cannot stop working because of his responsibilities!

So when he's hit but has no way to deal with it, he'll rarely take the initiative to ask for help from others, especially family members. That's because asking for help means he's weak and incompetent. But it's still an emotional problem. He's afraid of collapsing, hopes to get the understanding and support of his family, and hopes that he won't be abandoned. So he deliberately gives his family problems, perhaps to test whether you'll be tolerant of him and not abandon him.

This is how I see my dad. I think he gets a bit carried away with his temper tantrums, and they're getting worse. I think he just wants to feel safe, to feel like you'll all accept him, even if he gets a bit out of control.

✅It would be really helpful for you to pay more attention to your father. Try to understand that his bad temper isn't directed at you or someone in the family. It's probably just his way of expressing his own lack of acceptance. Start with little things, like if he looks tired today, ask what's going on. Give your father more encouragement, like if he looks more energetic today.

It's possible that your father won't change much at first. Try to find as many good things about him as you can and give him feedback. Let him know that he's not bad! When he feels your attention and praise, he'll be more confident and less likely to get upset at home for no reason.

I know it can be tough, but try to remember that your mom is an adult and she has to make her own decisions. Before your dad got sick, they were a great team, supporting each other through thick and thin. I'm sure she'll make the right choice for her.

Even if your mom decides to divorce your dad and is about to face the difficulties you mentioned, it's her choice. She's an adult and she'll make the best decision for her. And those are just your guesses. They might not really happen.

I hope these thoughts help you a little. You are not alone on this journey. Sending you lots of love ?

From what I can tell, your father is a significant issue for the whole family. He's a big problem with a lot of initiative. In the face of such a big problem, it's understandable that many people would want to avoid it.

How many people are in your family? What was your father like before he got sick?

Can you tell me what illness my father had and how long he's been ill?

From "My father had a previous illness and his work was not going well, so he became more and more self-abandoned. From the middle, I felt that there was a big change in my father's work situation before and after his illness. This change was so big that it seemed that my father had some difficulty accepting or bearing it. So he used "self-abandonment" to vent his dissatisfaction with the outside world and with himself on the one hand, and on the other hand, to express his powerlessness and hope to get more attention and care from those around him.

"When I'm not working, I just lie in bed watching videos. I don't have any desire to study or find a hobby to improve myself." "It makes me a little curious. My father is already an adult, and what he does when he's not working is completely his own business. He can make his own decisions."

It seems like the questioner wants his father to do something to meet his expectations—like study, find a hobby, or improve himself. It's like a parent's demands and expectations of their child.

His presence at home only makes everyone feel bad. "Can I say that everyone in your family will feel better from now on, since your father is no longer in the picture?"

I'm going to university soon, and I don't want my father to make my family (especially my mother) feel bad like this anymore. I might as well just let my parents get a divorce. "If the questioner didn't go to university, would they have such a decisive idea?"

"My mother is also looking into this, but she doesn't have any other relatives here, so she'll likely be at a disadvantage when the property is divided. I'm concerned that my mother will be blamed by the father's family. What should I do?

"I'm not sure if my mother considered divorce before or after the questioner had the idea of getting his parents to divorce. It seems that the questioner has also forgotten that his mother is also an adult.

It seems like the questioner is getting too involved in their parents' lives. It's as if they're trying to take on the role of the father in the family, even though the father is already struggling. He's becoming more and more self-abandoned, with an extremely bad temper and shouting all the time. It's hard to tell if this is a kind of "protest" against the questioner's "overly involved" behavior.

Whether to divorce or how to divide property can be determined through subjective efforts. It is suggested that the questioner consider what it would be like for a family without a father after the parents divorce. Is it perfect, or has a new situation emerged?

Maybe the father's current situation is a reflection of what the whole family is going through.

I really hope my reply helps. Best wishes!

Hello! I have a few questions about your question. You say that your father's mood has worsened since he got sick, but what was his illness before? I'm so interested to know more!

Has he recovered? I'm sure he has! Apart from making your father's mood worse and causing him to give up, how has this illness affected the rest of your family?

I don't know what kind of illness your father has, but when a father faces an illness, he is also very scared inside. Coupled with the fact that his work is not going well, it also impacts his self-worth. These are also challenges for him, so he chooses to vent his dissatisfaction and fear in a childish way. A series of challenges have made him lose the way to communicate well with you, but there's no need to worry!

It's great that you want to protect your mother from getting hurt in their relationship. However, it seems like your mother is only considering the matter of divorce.

The establishment of a husband-and-wife relationship is between the father and the mother, and as children, we have the amazing opportunity to play the role of a "buffer" in this! While we can't be the "decision-makers," we can still make a difference by communicating well with our fathers and helping our parents see their relationship as clearly as possible. It's a great thing for us children of parents in a marriage to not interfere too much.

Absolutely! If the relationship is really bad, it's so important for us to help them work it out.

I really hope this is helpful to you! Thank you so much!

Hello! I can sense the distress caused by the challenging emotional situation following your father's illness. It's understandable that you and your family may have felt disrespected, misunderstood, and unloved.

It may be helpful to consider that behind any emotion there are often unmet expectations and needs, particularly in the case of negative emotions. It's possible that the grumpy emotional state of the family after the father became ill may be his way of asking for help. Illness can often indicate that the father's body is weak, which can be challenging for anyone to accept. It's understandable that it may be difficult for the father to accept the fact that his body is gradually weakening.

A father who is ill needs strong emotional support from his family, especially if he has always been a strong person. He may feel a strong sense of guilt and self-blame because he is unable to take better care of his family due to his illness. He may also feel that you are taking too good care of him or occasionally neglecting him emotionally, which can make him particularly prone to emotional ups and downs. This is because he is in a state of illness and his physical and mental state is very fragile and sensitive. Therefore, these emotions of his are not necessarily a rejection of your care, dissatisfaction, or harsh criticism. They may be his way of expressing and releasing his emotions. Before he finds a better way to express and release his emotions, he may instinctively hurt you, other family members, and himself in an emotional way to release his internal frustration and depression.

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this.

It is important to remember that when your father displays a violent temper, it is not directed at you or the rest of the family. Rather, it is a way for him to express his need for help, understanding, and to be heard. By trying to understand the underlying needs behind your father's violent temper, you can avoid being carried away by his emotions. Instead, you can guide him to express his emotions in a constructive manner. For instance, you could try telling your father the true feelings and needs in your heart at the moment he loses his temper. This will help him realize that his emotional expression deeply hurts you and the rest of the family. However, it is essential to remain calm and refrain from judging his words or actions. Instead, show him your understanding, acceptance, tolerance, and respect. This will help relieve his frustration, irritability, fear, and anxiety caused by the disease. When a person feels accepted, understood, and seen by the people they care about most, their body and mind will relax. This allows them to shift from self-defense to self-reflection, self-awareness, and self-growth.

It seems that you support your parents' divorce, especially in light of your mother's grievances, largely because your father's hot temper makes you feel that everything you and your mother have done for your father is not understood, seen, or accepted by him. This may lead you to believe that there is more rejection, nitpicking, and disdain than appreciation. It is understandable that you would choose to separate completely in order to avoid further hurt. However, it is also important to recognize that this decision may have been influenced by your emotional response to your father's behavior. It is natural for children to want to have a complete, happy, and harmonious family. You, too, likely have the same desire. However, it is also essential to acknowledge and address your and your mother's inner grievances and anger.

In addition to directly expressing your feelings and needs to your father, you might also consider writing him a letter. This could help you process and release the painful emotions you've been experiencing since your father became ill due to his bad temper. It could also help you better understand and cope with these emotions, as well as identify and address the underlying needs behind them. Furthermore, writing a letter could provide an opportunity to express your love, understanding, and respect for your father, while also expressing your desire to receive the same from him. This could help you communicate your needs more clearly and effectively.

I believe this can be seen as a way of reconciling with your father, while also allowing you to gain greater insight into your own emotional feelings.

I hope that sharing my experience can provide you with some support and help.

I would like to extend my love and best wishes to you and yours!

Hello, host. I can sense your confusion and pain. It must be difficult to live in a family environment full of negative energy. The host can leave such an environment after going to university, so it's understandable to worry about your mother continuing to be affected in such an environment. If your mother knew that you cared about her so much and took such good care of her, she would be very grateful. Therefore, the host's solution to the problem is to hope that his parents divorce so that his mother can be relieved.

In response to the original poster's inquiries, we have identified two key considerations: first, is divorce a viable option? Second, if divorce is a potential solution, how might it be pursued?

From what the landlord has shared, it seems that everything may have started with his father. Perhaps we could begin by looking at what happened with his father.

My father got sick, his work didn't go well, he became more and more self-abandoned, and his temper got worse. These are all manifestations and results. Could I respectfully propose that we consider the possibility that there might be a root cause that could be addressed to bring about a different outcome? I wonder if the original poster has ever thought about it? Or had an in-depth conversation and communication with his father? What is his father thinking, and how does he feel? Is there any possibility of change?

It seems that physical illness can still have a significant impact on mental health. Many people with physical illnesses report feeling discriminated against by others, which can have a significant impact on their mental health. Over time, they may lose confidence in life, become increasingly self-deprecating, and eventually develop depression. I'm not sure what illness the original poster's father has.

It is often the case that people in a state of illness are prone to certain psychological phenomena.

?1. After falling ill, there is a sense of shame and guilt. People may perceive illness as an unhealthy and dishonorable state, which can lead to feelings of discrimination and self-blame.

?2. A sense of worthlessness and loneliness. Illness can sometimes make people feel less valuable. Men may feel this more acutely, feeling that being sick places additional burdens on their family, that they are a burden on their family, that they cannot live a normal life like other family members, that some of their actions are restricted, and that they feel useless, isolated, and lonely.

?3. I found myself reflecting on the reasons for my illness and the challenges I was facing.

4. The fear and anxiety associated with the disease can contribute to feelings of impatience and discomfort. Additionally, there is often concern about potential misdiagnosis or mistreatment by the doctor, as well as apprehension about the possibility of long-term effects.

5. Another important aspect to consider is the impact of social pressure. It is understandable that not being able to work regularly and fulfill social and family obligations can lead to feelings of guilt.

Could the father's work performance be affected by an illness, or has the company reassigned him to a less prominent role? Has the father felt marginalized, leading to frustration in the workplace? It's important to remember that most men value a decent and meaningful job as a way to demonstrate their abilities, dignity, and value.

If it isn't an imposition, might I inquire as to what kind of person your father was to you and your mother in the ten-odd years before you went to high school, before he fell ill? I'm curious to know what he was like at work.

A sudden change in a person is often the result of a random event. During an illness, a sudden major change can sometimes affect existing concepts and principles, and may influence the father's attitude towards life. It may therefore be helpful to communicate in depth and talk about it.

Let's consider the other party in the marriage, your mother. After all, marriage is a matter for the two of them, and the consequences need to be borne by themselves. Some people say that the harm that divorce causes a person is second only to the loss of one's closest loved ones. It seems that your mother's attitude towards the divorce is not very clear, which means that she hasn't made up her mind yet. You might consider talking with your mother to see if she's open to discussing the changes in the family over the years, as well as the changes in your father. It might be helpful to look for ways to run the marriage in a positive direction together. If your mother truly wants a divorce, the host will naturally support that decision.

It is understandable that the landlord's mother might be feeling uncertain about her future after the divorce. It would be helpful to understand her relatives' and friends' perspectives, as well as those of her colleagues. There is a difference in mindset between previous generations and young people today. It would be beneficial for the landlord and her mother to sit down and discuss the situation.

It is thought that divorce can cause a number of psychological issues for women.

1. Potential issues with trust

2. Inferiority complex and self-doubt

3. Social isolation and difficulties engaging with others socially

4. Misconceptions about men

5. Misperception of the surrounding environment

It would be beneficial to consider whether the mother could respond positively to these problems and adjust her mentality. It might be helpful to talk to the mother in advance.

If I might finally turn the discussion to you, the innocent party in this marriage, I would suggest that you are an independent individual who can influence your parents' behavior, but that you should not become overly concerned about the outcome. It is important to do your best. If, after the original poster communicates and negotiates with their parents and it still does not work out, they can choose to let go and allow their parents to find their own happiness. With regard to how to fight for your mother's best interests, you might wish to consider hiring a professional divorce lawyer to handle it. They have the professional experience and will ensure that your mother is not disadvantaged. With regard to professional matters, it is often advisable to hire a professional.

It is important to remember that the decision to separate or divorce does not affect the happiness of the original poster. While the circumstances of the family may change, it is essential to recognize that your future life will not be affected unless you allow past events to impact your future. The past is in the past, and you have the power to control your happiness in the present and future.

Hello, questioner. Your words are like meeting you.

You're confused and asking what to do. You're concerned about your father's situation and your mother's feelings. You've taken care of everyone and tried your best. I feel sorry for you. Are you a caregiver?

I can help you understand your situation better.

▶️ For the father.

Your father had been ill before. His work had not gone well, and he had given up. He did not want to learn or improve himself.

As a mature person, I feel that there are only a few things that everyone values, and they can be seen by doing subtraction.

Health (physical and mental)

Self-realization leads to a sense of accomplishment and control. It also provides motivation to achieve life and work expectations and recognize one's own value.

People need relationships to survive.

These are the three points I can think of for now. I look forward to your discussion.

Let's try to understand your father by referring to Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I'm not asking you to forgive him if you have resentment. We're just trying to understand why your father is the way he is.

I don't know what illness he has. It even affects his work. He has lost his health and safety.

This is a scary loss. Could the father also have been scared? Let's assume so.

1⃣▶️ He has physical reasons too. His job is also unstable. He is under threat of being dismissed at any time.

2⃣▶️ He has a stable job and is not unemployed. What else has he lost?

Social interaction, respect, and self-fulfillment (the other three levels of Maslow's hierarchy of needs). Without belonging and a sense of self, everything is meaningless.

He doesn't respect himself, so he can't respect others. He can't face his emotions, so he numbs them. When he hurt you, your mother, and the rest of the family, he hurt himself.

You want him to change and love you and your mother again. You want him to come back.

He is hurt. He wants to come back, but he can't. A wounded person needs time to heal.

If we want him to get better fast, we're pushing him away from his pain and recovery. He feels more disapproval, which makes him feel worse.

Do you trust your father? Do you believe he will come out of it? Can you stay by his side and wait for him?

▶️For the mother◀️

As an adult, you must take responsibility for your choices. Not everyone can do this, but life gives us experiences to learn from.

She has to decide to leave or stay, and how to do it. We love and care about your mother and want her to be happy, so just respect her and let her make every choice and face it on her own. Just stand behind her.

▶️

Finally, I have something to say to you. Know your needs, work hard for them, and respect all decisions. If you've made a decision, move forward. Don't waste energy on conflict.

Let your parents figure it out on their own. If you get the chance, go to counseling with your father.

It's not your responsibility.

You're tired. Take care of yourself!

Hello.

My father's illness brought about significant changes in the family, and I felt the impact.

"When I'm not at work, I just lie in bed watching videos every day, and I have no desire to study or find a hobby to improve myself." It's clear that the questioner expects his father to study hard and improve himself. We've all read about Helen Keller and Stephen Hawking since childhood: Keller, despite being blind, didn't give up learning; Hawking, despite being paralyzed, didn't give up trying.

Ideals and beliefs are crucial. Should I communicate with my father properly and gradually influence his sensitive and fickle heart?

I know that as a child, you care about your parents and feel that your father is being unfair to the rest of the family. You don't want them to suffer for nothing. As for the suggestion that your parents get a divorce, the decision is still up to your parents. If your mother is also completely desperate for your father, then she should make this decision.

You should consult a lawyer about the concern that property interests may be damaged. If you are worried about being condemned by relatives and friends, you don't have to care about what other people think. As long as you have a clear conscience, you're in the right.

In this world, not everyone can always put themselves in your shoes, but that's no reason to be misunderstood.

You're about to enter university, and I know you're going to succeed. You're a sensible person, and I believe you will achieve great things. I hope you will love yourself well and be able to give those you love a better life in the future.

Good day, classmate. I perceive your current state of confusion, and I offer you a gesture of comfort.

The current situation is one of familial discord. I extend my support and offer a gesture of comfort.

It seems plausible to suggest that your father may be experiencing feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, which could be attributed to his current health condition.

One might suggest reading him the stories of some of the remarkable men who have overcome significant challenges in recent times.

For example, one might consider the case of Nick Vujicic, who was born in Australia.

Vujicic was born without limbs.

Nevertheless, he did not abandon his aspirations; rather, he traversed the globe, recounting his experiences.

One of his most notable quotations is, "Life has no limits; turn obstacles into opportunities."

The aforementioned reference originates from Zhihu.

It is possible that when the father hears the story of this remarkable individual, he may be inspired to reclaim his sense of purpose and resilience in the face of illness.

In regard to the aforementioned statements, it is this writer's hope to persuade the mother to initiate a divorce from the father. To the questioner, it is advised that this matter be handled between the two adults, your parents.

It is sufficient to understand that in this life, there are three fundamental categories of knowledge: one's own affairs, the affairs of others, and the affairs of the divine realm.

The aforementioned ideas are drawn from the book A Single Thought.

Your parents are adults and should be capable of managing their emotional affairs.

It would be prudent to focus on completing your university studies as expeditiously as possible. This course of action would undoubtedly provide the most solace to your parents.

It is my sincere hope that a solution to the problem you are facing will be found in the near future.

These are the only concepts that I am currently able to conceptualize.

It is my sincere hope that my responses have been both helpful and inspiring. I am the answer, and I study assiduously each day.

On behalf of Yixinli, I extend my warmest regards and best wishes to you.

Hello, questioner!

I'm so sorry to hear about your family's struggles, and I admire your dedication to helping them find solutions.

I'm really sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing in your family. I admire your willingness to help your loved ones work through their issues.

To resolve this issue, we just need to be clear about one thing: even though you're all part of the same family, your relationships are different. You and your dad are parent and child, while your mom and stepdad are husband and wife. Different identities mean different positions and perspectives.

If your relationship with your father has gotten rocky because of his bad temper, and you're on board with your mother divorcing him, would you still be on board if you got along well with your father but he didn't see eye to eye with your mother? It's so important to consider and respect the feelings and choices of everyone involved in this situation.

"My mom is also thinking about this, but she doesn't have any other family here with us, so she might get left out when it comes to dividing the property. I'm worried that my mom will get blamed and feel bad by the dad's family. What should I do?"

It's a great idea to chat with a lawyer who knows all the ins and outs of divorce and property distribution. This is a legal matter, and it's always best to get advice from someone who's been there and done that.

Marriage has a lot of practical significance, and divorce has a practical impact on both parties. So it's really important to be a little more cautious and consider things more thoroughly. I believe that the mother, who is most involved, will definitely think more than you. So it's best to try not to let your own position influence her judgment and simply respect her choice.

Marriage has practical significance, and divorce has a practical impact on both parties. So it's always a good idea to be a little cautious and consider things more thoroughly. I believe that the mother, who is most involved, will definitely think more than you. So it's best to try not to let your own position influence her judgment and simply respect her choice.

Hi, I'm Xiao Dong, a psychological counselor. I wish you all the best in life!

Good day, questioner. I can see that you are currently confused. You hope that after you go to university, your family, especially your mother, will not live under the shadow of your father's "negative energy," and you even hope that your mother will leave. However, such thoughts must make you feel somewhat helpless and entangled.

There are many challenging issues in life, and finding solutions requires effort. However, a thorough investigation may yield more favorable outcomes. Let's proceed with a systematic approach.

[Regarding divorce]

An unworkable marriage will result in undue hardship for both parties and their respective families. Terminating the marriage is a means of providing each party with an opportunity to pursue happiness. It is recognized that there may be numerous factors that contribute to the dissolution of a marriage, but the decision to divorce is not inherently negative.

I am not surprised by your thoughts. It seems you want the parents to dissolve this marriage, but to learn to love the world more.

Please take a moment to evaluate the following:

Please clarify whether your objective is to free both parents or to free the mother.

Please clarify whether you believe the mother will definitely be at peace and happy after being relieved.

Is it possible for fathers to improve after a divorce?

After evaluating the potential outcomes, I ask whether your desire for your parents to divorce remains a driving force. I believe that only if it does remain a driving force can you make the decision to provide your mother with advice.

[Regarding your mother]

With regard to the divorce, you indicate that your mother is hesitant and not particularly determined. Have you discussed the divorce with her in detail and in a serious manner? What does it mean that your mother is still hesitant despite your father's long period of "negative energy" and "violence"?

In your mother's view, what is the most significant difference between her former perception of your father and his current one? Which aspects of your father's personality still have an impact on your mother?

As an adult, you have the prerogative to propose a divorce to your mother. However, only she and your father can make that decision. You may wish to discuss the matter with your mother and ascertain her preferred course of action.

[Regarding your father]

Apart from the current negative, irritable, and unmotivated impression your father has given you, please describe any other positive aspects you have noticed.

Please advise as to the duration of this current state of affairs.

Is there a possibility of your father's condition improving? Could his current state of mind be a normal reaction to the combined effects of illness and work stress?

In the event that your father's condition deteriorates following the divorce, would you and your mother be in a position to move on without difficulty?

By considering these questions, you may be able to ascertain whether you have truly exhausted all avenues for maintaining the family unit.

[About you]

You are about to commence your studies at university, where you will gain further knowledge and skills that will enable you to assist in restoring equilibrium within the family. In particular, do you lack the confidence to assist your father in resolving his current difficulties?

Please identify any family members or friends who could assist you in finding a solution.

Your aspiration to resolve the family crisis as an adult is commendable. However, I believe you can make a suggestion after careful consideration. A happy family requires the commitment and hard work of everyone in the family. If one person falls behind and disappoints, it may be a more favorable solution than letting the family fall apart.

It is important to note that divorce is not a mistake in and of itself. However, the process of divorce can also be a painful one. It is therefore essential to give the matter considerable thought and consideration.

Hello, classmate!

From what you've told me, you sound like a kindhearted child with a strong sense of justice who cares deeply about your mother and her feelings.

First of all, you said that your father had previously fallen ill and his work had not been going well, so he had become more and more self-abandoned. When he was not at work, he just lay in bed watching videos every day, with no desire to learn or find hobbies to improve himself. It's so sad to hear that!

It's only natural when people suffer a setback to want to protect themselves. They often look for ways to relax and ease their inner sense of defeat. Not everyone is able to rise above their setbacks, and your father is no exception. He's afraid of failing, especially in front of his family.

Secondly, my dear father has been struggling with some anger issues recently. Even normal conversations can make him angry and irritable. This is something he's been struggling with for a while now and it's unfortunately getting worse day by day.

In other words, before this, he wasn't like that at all! What was he like in your heart before?

I'd love to know if you still remember!

I'm sure you'll agree that it's so sad when people don't feel like they're being seen. That's why your father is speaking so loudly now. He wants to be seen!

Take a moment to see the vulnerability in his heart and recognize that he wants recognition!

Then you say, "I'm going to university soon, and I don't want my father to make the family (especially my mother) feel bad like this. It's better if my parents just get a divorce." My mother was also considering this, but she has no other relatives here, so she would be at a disadvantage when it came to dividing up the assets.

I'm really worried that my mom is going to get blamed by my dad's family. What can I do to help her?

From what you've told me, it's clear that your father's words and actions have really hurt you. I can also see that you care deeply for your mother and think of her well. You're a child with very positive values, and I can feel that.

I just wanted to say, before you make a decision, have you thought about talking to your husband?

The first step is to have a nice, gentle chat about the things your dad used to do that made you feel good. Ask him about his feelings and thoughts at the time. This will help him feel more confident again.

The second step is to express your current feelings and thoughts, and tell your father that you are not afraid to make mistakes, because mistakes are the best way to learn. You could say something like, "As a child, what would you prefer me to do at this moment?"

Let him know what you'd like him to do.

I truly believe that every parent loves their child. But before they can deal with their own emotions, they also need someone to talk to. What their child says is the parent's innermost hopes and yearnings. They might not say anything at first, or they might reject what you say.

But I'm sure that after they calm down, they'll definitely think about what you said. Would you like to give it a try?