My girlfriend says she doesn't want to get married, she doesn't want to sacrifice her freedom?

Hello,

Your girlfriend doesn't want to get married because she feels it restricts her freedom. I understand your confusion.

Your girlfriend may be afraid of the unknown. Marriage means entering a new state of life. She may worry about various uncertainties in her future married life.

Second, she may be focused on personal growth and career development. She may worry that marriage will distract her and affect her ability to achieve her goals.

Furthermore, she may value her independence and autonomy highly, regarding freedom as a core value that marriage may undermine.

She may also be influenced by what she sees or hears around her.

How to solve it:

[1] Talk with your girlfriend in a deeper, more honest way. This will help her express her concerns and thoughts, and you can share your plans and expectations for the future. You can also discuss how to balance personal freedom and joint responsibility in marriage.

[2] Don't rush her. Give her time to think. Work together to plan your future. Explain how you will support each other. Make some rules and plans to allay her concerns.

[3] Show her you're reliable and stable. Make her feel secure in marriage. Show her happy marriages. You must also grow and improve.

Finally, understand your girlfriend's feelings, talk about them together, and work out problems together. This will help your future marriage.

I hope this helps.

Dear Question Asker,

First and foremost, I would like to express my profound understanding of your situation. You aspired to marry your girlfriend, which reflects your idealistic vision of your future life and your profound feelings for her.

However, when you share this aspiration with her, you receive an unanticipated reply. She states that she does not wish to marry and thereby relinquish her autonomy, which undoubtedly engenders feelings of perplexity and uncertainty.

The response in question reflects a profound introspection and internal conflict concerning the relationship between freedom and bondage. The following analysis presents a potential interpretation of her concerns.

In modern society, the pursuit of personal freedom and independence is becoming increasingly prominent among women. They desire the ability to make their own decisions regarding their lifestyle, career path, and romantic relationships without being constrained by external factors.

This pursuit of freedom, to a certain extent, reflects contemporary women's desire for self-worth and their challenge to traditional gender roles.

However, when confronted with the social institution of marriage, many women exhibit ambivalence. While marriage provides emotional support and stability, it also entails assuming additional responsibilities and obligations, and in some instances, even the sacrifice of personal freedom and pursuits.

This apprehension regarding the potential limitations that marriage may impose on personal autonomy contributes to the reluctance of many women to pursue marriage.

For your girlfriend, her appreciation of freedom may be attributed to her personal upbringing, values, or expectations for the future. She may be concerned that upon marriage, she will be required to relinquish her personal time and pursuits for the benefit of her family and children, thereby forfeiting the opportunity to be herself and pursue her aspirations.

This apprehension is not baseless, but rather a product of her observations and contemplations on the tangible realities of marital dynamics.

It is likely that she has considered the situation in great depth on numerous occasions. On the one hand, she anticipates the prospect of a blissful future with you and the emotional support and stability that marriage offers. On the other hand, she is apprehensive about relinquishing her independence and freedom, and is concerned about the potential for her identity to become increasingly subsumed within the marriage.

This internal conflict renders her averse to and distrustful of the institution of marriage.

In order to gain a deeper insight into her concerns, it is necessary to analyse them from the following perspectives:

The fear of the unknown is a common concern among individuals contemplating marriage. For many, the prospect of entering into a marital union represents a significant shift in their lives, particularly for those who have not previously experienced the realities of married life. Your girlfriend may be grappling with the potential changes and challenges that marriage might bring, and she may be apprehensive about the future.

The Pursuit of Self-Fulfillment: She may believe that marriage will impede her personal growth and self-fulfillment. She is concerned that in marriage, she will be required to prioritize her family and children over her career and personal interests, and will no longer have the autonomy to pursue her aspirations.

A further issue is the misunderstanding of freedom. The subject may have an overly idealistic understanding of freedom, believing that it means being free from all constraints and restrictions. However, true freedom is not being unrestrained, but rather making choices and decisions from the heart.

Even within the context of marriage, an individual may opt to maintain their independence and pursue their own interests.

Worries about marriage roles: She may be concerned about the necessity of assuming a particular role within the context of marriage, such as that of a wife or mother. These roles may, in turn, give rise to feelings of constraint and oppression. However, it is important to recognize that marriage is not a static phenomenon, but rather a dynamic process of mutual negotiation and adaptation.

It is imperative that the partner provides comprehensive understanding and support in response to the concerns expressed. An effective approach would be to engage in in-depth communication to gain a deeper understanding of the concerns and expectations pertaining to the marriage.

Concurrently, it is essential to demonstrate your dedication and resolve to the union, thereby conveying your affection and esteem for her. Moreover, it is imperative to deliberate with her the means of sustaining individual autonomy and liberty within the matrimony, and collaborate to devise a marital paradigm that is mutually agreeable.

In essence, marriage is not a restrictive institution; rather, it is a relationship that necessitates collaborative efforts from both partners to sustain and oversee. In marriage, both parties must cultivate respect, comprehension, and tolerance for one another, while simultaneously confronting the challenges and adversities that life inevitably presents.

It is only through this approach that one can achieve genuine happiness and contentment within the context of marriage, while simultaneously maintaining one's personal autonomy and independence. It is my hope that your girlfriend will come to fully comprehend this concept and collaborate with you to shape a promising future.

Greetings.

From the description provided, it is evident that your girlfriend's statements have caused you some degree of distress. It is likely that you desire to marry your girlfriend, and thus, you frequently contemplate this prospect.

It appears that your girlfriend is not interested in marriage, or at least not at this time, or perhaps not with you. This last possibility is particularly distressing.

If your girlfriend is a staunch non-maritalist, that is somewhat more favorable, as her opposition to marriage is not a reflection of your personal qualities. However, there is a possibility that she is not genuinely opposed to marriage but rather believes that you are not the optimal choice for marriage.

It is unclear from the information provided whether there is a discrepancy in perception regarding the status of the relationship. It seems that you believe the relationship is ready to enter into marriage, whereas your girlfriend does not. The reasons for this discrepancy may be related to your girlfriend's perception of the potential restrictions that marriage may impose on her freedom, or it may be influenced by other factors such as her observations of unhappy marriages or her understanding of the sacrifices that women often make in marriage. Even if you inquire further, it is likely that you will not gain insight into your girlfriend's true thoughts on the matter.

It is possible that your girlfriend has her own evaluation criteria, according to which your relationship is not yet ready to enter into marriage. Furthermore, your assurance that marriage will not restrict her freedom is contingent on the future, and thus, it is difficult to be distracted from this uncertainty.

It is important to note that international treaties signed by countries can be broken, and the same is true of a person's verbal promise, even if it is written.

In such a case, it may be necessary to consider how to proceed with this situation. If a couple's desires regarding marriage are not aligned, it is important to determine the best course of action.

If one party desires marriage while the other does not, and this discrepancy cannot be reconciled, it may be necessary for both individuals to seek partners who are more amenable to the idea of marriage.

With regard to your girlfriend, her life is no longer a concern of yours.

If the objective is to marry one's girlfriend, and she does not wish to marry, it may be beneficial to dedicate more time to demonstrating support for her. This could help her to perceive that, even after marriage, there will still be sufficient freedom and that marrying you will enhance her confidence in the relationship. It is important to recognise that marriage entails a shift from the pre-marital phase. Prior actions may not necessarily be applicable in the post-marital phase.

It is important to note that prior to marriage, there are only two individuals involved. However, following marriage, there are two families, and the addition of children to the equation introduces further complexities. If a woman's freedom is constrained by marriage due to past experiences, particularly with close relatives, it can potentially lead to a sense of restricted autonomy. It may prove challenging to persuade her that her marriage will be different and that she can find happiness within it.

One might inquire with her as to the rationale behind the assumption that marriage will result in the curtailment of a woman's autonomy. It would be beneficial to ascertain the experiences that have shaped this perception.

It is imperative that you respect her, and if she is not inclined to engage in conversation, you must refrain from pressuring her.

It is important to recognize that your girlfriend's views on marriage are her own and that the feelings her answers evoke in you are a personal matter that you must address independently. It is essential to consider the type of intimacy you desire, the extent to which your girlfriend has met your expectations, and whether you are willing to extend her some additional time and patience.

Additionally, it would be beneficial to consider your own strengths and weaknesses in an intimate relationship or marriage. This includes identifying the areas where you have demonstrated proficiency and those where you may have encountered challenges. It is crucial to recognize how these factors may have influenced the other person's decision to withhold trust. Seeking guidance from a counselor can also be invaluable in this process. However, it is essential to note that the lack of detailed information provided in this initial consultation limits the scope of guidance that can be offered.

I frequently adhere to Buddhist principles and, on occasion, serve as a counselor with a positive and motivating approach. I hold a profound respect for the world and its inhabitants.

Dear question asker, My name is Evan, I am a counselor at the Jingliu school.

From the description provided, it is evident that there is a lack of clarity and a sense of being adrift. In any close relationship, there is a natural diversity of understanding and need for intimacy between partners.

The girlfriend of the questioner also displays a certain trepidation about marriage.

It is not uncommon for our attitudes and perceptions of marriage to be influenced by our parents. The example they set in their marriages often shapes how their children view and approach marriage.

In China, marriage is not solely about the union of two individuals, but also encompasses family considerations.

In light of your girlfriend's concerns about marriage and the potential loss of her freedom, it is crucial to demonstrate patience and understanding. Given that you have posed your question on this platform, we are unable to delve into the specifics of your girlfriend's situation. However, we can offer guidance on how to navigate this emotional challenge.

It is important to listen carefully and understand the other person's perspective.

It is important to allow your girlfriend the space and time to express her thoughts and feelings. It is not advisable to rush to refute or convince her; rather, it is more beneficial to listen carefully to her concerns.

It would be beneficial to consider her perspective and understand her appreciation for freedom and her concerns about the potential limitations of marriage.

Communication and exchange:

After listening, engage in an open and honest conversation with her. Affirm your respect for her thoughts and feelings and clarify that you do not intend to restrict her freedom.

Inquire as to which specific aspects of freedom she is concerned may be restricted, and ascertain her views and expectations regarding marriage. Through communication, a more comprehensive understanding of each other's thoughts and needs can be achieved.

Together, identify potential solutions.

The questioner can discuss with his girlfriend how to establish and maintain a healthy marital relationship while maintaining personal freedom. This may require some compromise and adjustment from both parties.

It is important to note that marriage is not a fixed pattern, and that the specifics of how to get along together can be negotiated between the question asker and his girlfriend. It would be beneficial for the question asker to emphasize that marriage does not mean losing freedom, but rather that two people can grow and support each other on the basis of mutual respect and understanding.

Allow her the necessary time and space to consider her options.

It is important to recognize that her concerns about marriage may not be resolved immediately. Allow her sufficient time to reflect and prepare, and avoid pressuring her to make hasty decisions.

Furthermore, it is important to communicate to her that you are willing to wait and will provide support and understanding when needed.

Self-Reflection and Growth:

During this process, it is also advisable to reflect on your own role in the marriage and how the questioner can become a more effective partner.

By learning and growing, the questioner can develop the confidence to navigate the relationship with his girlfriend and prepare for the future of married life.

It is recommended that you seek professional assistance.

Should you encounter difficulties in addressing this issue, we advise you to seek the guidance of a professional counselor. These professionals can provide more specific and personalized advice and support.

In conclusion, it is important to note that marriage is a significant life decision that requires both parties to be adequately prepared and considerate. There are numerous differences between dating and marriage, and it is essential for the questioner to consider various aspects and be prepared to address potential challenges.

If feasible, consider a joint trip to an unfamiliar locale to assess your ability to navigate challenges together. In a relationship, mutual respect for each other's thoughts and feelings, coupled with a willingness to collaborate on identifying a mutually satisfactory course of action, is crucial for fostering a healthy and enduring partnership.

Hello, questioner! I'm Jia Ao Bu Xun, your Heart Exploration coach!

You had the most incredible dream! You married your girlfriend, and then you told her about it. But she said she wasn't happy and didn't want to sacrifice her freedom. There are so many concerns about getting married, and you were really surprised and disappointed. You just couldn't understand why she had such thoughts!

What if your girlfriend doesn't really want to marry you?

You really care about your girlfriend! You want to be with her forever and you want to build a happy and successful marriage with her. She just isn't feeling the same way. She's not happy and is afraid that she won't be free if she gets married. Even though you have told her that you won't restrict her freedom, she still doesn't want to get married. You don't know what's wrong with her.

I'm so excited to hear more about why you're resistant!

This is an exciting time! You both have different views on marriage, which is totally normal. You want to marry the one you love, and she has her own reasons for wanting to wait. It's a big decision, and it's natural to have concerns. You can help her by being patient and listening to her thoughts. It's important to remember that marriage is a journey, and it's not something that should be rushed. You'll both grow and learn together as you navigate this new chapter.

What an exciting question! What should you do if your beloved resists marrying you?

☀️ Analyze the reasons: When the relationship between lovers develops to a relatively stable level, it is inevitable to mention the topic of marriage. If one party wants to get married and the other party does not want to get married because they are afraid of not being free, what an exciting opportunity to find out what she really wants! First, you should look at your girlfriend and find out the real reason why she doesn't want to get married. Analyze the specific reasons.

It's totally normal to feel a little nervous about marriage. It's a big step! But there's no need to rush. Take your time and enjoy the journey together. If your girlfriend is feeling anxious about the future, it might be because she's worried about losing her freedom. Or it could be that she's not sure she loves you enough yet. Either way, there's no reason to fret. The best thing you can do is reassure her. Show her that you love her and that you're there for her. Let her know that you're not going anywhere. And remember, marriage is about two people coming together. It's not about losing your freedom. So don't let that be a reason to put it off. Embrace the journey to your future together. It's going to be an amazing adventure!

☀️Respect and understanding: Your feelings are just that—your feelings! What you think is just a way of covering up your true feelings. For example, you might say, "I thought," or "I felt," but those are just your opinions. If you've been dating for a long time and haven't yet mentioned marriage plans, respect and understand her inner thoughts. Sit down and have a good communication with her, and listen to her inner voice. Even if she doesn't say anything, her attitude can give you the answer you want. If she says that she wants to focus on her career for now and get married when she has established herself, or that she wants to be free now and doesn't want to be tied down so soon, if you don't mind her current situation, you can express your true willingness to work hard together in the future!

☀️Embrace the journey: If your girlfriend is always using the fear of losing her freedom as an excuse, it simply means that she's not quite ready yet. It's also possible that she's just stalling, and the root cause is that your girlfriend doesn't love you that much yet, or at least doesn't want to get married with you. I think at this time, you shouldn't rush into marriage. Spend more time getting to know each other to see if the two of you are really compatible. It's also possible that you haven't done enough in your daily life to make your girlfriend feel that you can give her a sense of security and happiness. You need to be aware of this and work hard to change yourself.

It's time to take action! Marriage is a lifelong event for everyone, and it's something to be celebrated. Women have a lot more to give and lose in marriage than men, so it's important to consider their perspective. In addition to psychological counseling, it's essential to look at your actual actions. You need to let your girlfriend know that you are a responsible and motivated person, that you are confident and capable of bringing her a better life, and that you are a trustworthy and dependable person. With a little patience and persistence, you can help her see the value in your proposal. Who knows, maybe one day she will change her mind!

"Happy Marriage": In this book, you'll discover what a happy marriage is like. Good communication is the key to a harmonious relationship. Whether it's emotional expression or the trivial matters of daily life, you should talk about them as openly as possible, rather than avoiding or hiding them. Learn to listen to each other's views and feelings, rather than just insisting on your own position. This book will teach you how to communicate with your girlfriend about marriage issues, rather than just avoiding it.

I really hope my answer helps you! If you want to chat some more, you can follow me (just click on my personal homepage), choose the Heart Exploration service, and we can have a one-on-one chat. I love you, the world and I love you!

Dear Sir/Madam, I am Li Di, and I am grateful for this opportunity to speak with you.

The dream appears to reflect your desire to marry your girlfriend. However, your girlfriend believes that marriage will restrict her freedom. Despite your promise not to restrict her freedom, she still does not want to get married. This raises concerns about your future together. She gives you a hug, but you are unsure how to make her feel at ease.

It is accurate to conclude that the dynamics of a relationship will evolve following the decision to marry. However, the journey towards marriage is a shared one, which I believe is why you have expressed a desire to marry. My girlfriend, however, has expressed concerns about the impact of marriage on her freedom. She has also highlighted potential challenges that may arise following the decision to marry. I am unsure how to understand your girlfriend's perspective and have not considered the aspects of freedom that may be lost. In particular, I am uncertain about the concerns she has expressed regarding her upbringing and current living environment. In light of this, I am seeking guidance on how to understand and accept my girlfriend's perspective in this situation.

It may also be beneficial to consider whether the desire to marry your girlfriend is indicative of a need for stability in your current relationship. Additionally, it is important to assess your readiness to enter into marriage and to define your personal understanding of the institution of marriage.

Do my views align with those of my girlfriend? Have I ever expressed concern about the prospect of marriage?

A dream about marrying your girlfriend may indicate a subconscious desire for commitment in your relationship. It could also reflect a deeper need for stability and commitment, as well as a longing to share your life with your partner.

Dreams are often a means of articulating emotions and desires that may not be fully conscious during waking hours.

Your girlfriend is expressing discontent with the prospect of marriage and indicates a desire to retain her current level of autonomy. This could signify a current reluctance to enter into a long-term commitment. The "freedom" she is referencing may encompass various aspects, including personal space, career development, and hobbies.

It is important to recognise that everyone has different internal needs. Some people may view marriage as a source of security and belonging, while others may perceive it as a restrictive institution. Her reaction may be influenced by concerns about traditional marriage roles, a fear of losing personal independence, or apprehension about assuming family responsibilities.

The most important thing to do in this situation is to have an honest conversation. Attempt to understand her feelings from her perspective while also expressing your needs and expectations.

Effective communication can facilitate mutual understanding and facilitate the identification of potential compromises. It is important to maintain an open mind and respect each other's views throughout this process.

Furthermore, given the fact that each individual's understanding and expectations of marriage are unique, it is possible to discuss your different views on marriage together and consider how to maintain personal freedom while building a stable relationship.

Should you encounter difficulties in this regard, it would be beneficial to seek the assistance of a counselor. A counselor can provide professional guidance and assist you in improving communication and understanding within your relationship.

Finally, I would like to reiterate that in the process of fostering a positive relationship, it is essential to invest time and patience to cultivate and maintain it. While rapid results may not always be achievable, it is crucial to prioritize quality and growth.

I hope this information is useful to you. Please remember that you are the only person in the world who can make your own decisions, and you deserve to have the best possible life.

Hello, I am ZQ, a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. I can see that your girlfriend doesn't want to get married, and I know this has caused you a great deal of distress.

Your dream about getting married to your girlfriend means you want to get married, or you care a lot about marriage.

You discussed this dream with your girlfriend in reality, but it seems that the other party does not share the same thoughts as you. Instead, the other party is worried about her own freedom. She did not say that she wanted to do something for your little family; she just wants to escape.

She may not want to start a family with you. She's afraid of losing her freedom. She may not even consider your feelings. She's more worried about her own quality of life. She doesn't want to be tied down. She's afraid of being controlled. She's afraid of having to raise children again. She's afraid of not being able to hang out as much in the future.

She may also worry about being controlled in the future, the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, having to have children again and then raise them, not being able to quickly re-enter the workforce after having children, and being given a hard time by colleagues at work after getting married or not being able to find a job.

She may worry about this and that, and then she doesn't want to get married. Formally speaking, these worries are just an external reason. The deeper reason is that she doesn't want to marry you. She just wants a free relationship with you right now, a relationship that doesn't require too much commitment.

You can still have fun together and live a happy life. But if you bring the relationship to the level of marriage, she is not ready, so you should think about it.

What is your attitude? You need to decide whether you are willing to wait for your girlfriend to change.

Let her see your love and care for her as time passes. She'll see your determination. Then she'll decide to walk with you into the marriage hall. Or you can make a judgment based on your own judgment.

If there's no chance for change, you need to make a decision. Talk to your friends or family about it. This could affect your relationship. Get counseling to understand marriage and love better. Then you'll be less anxious. Good luck.

What is ZQ?

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61, and I'm excited to help you!

Thank you so much for trusting us with your question! We're excited to help you find the answers you're looking for. Your question is: "My girlfriend says she doesn't want to get married and doesn't want to sacrifice her freedom?"

"After reading your introduction, I'm really excited to share some thoughts with you!

1. Introduction

1️⃣, the dream

You said, "I dreamed that I got married to my girlfriend, so I told her about it, and she said she was unhappy and didn't want to sacrifice her freedom."

Dream!

The questioner said that he dreamed of getting married to his girlfriend, which shows that in the questioner's subconscious, he is already ready to get married. Moreover, this desire is relatively strong, which is great to hear!

Not happy

The questioner told his girlfriend about the dream, but she replied that she was unhappy and did not want to sacrifice her freedom. This shows that his girlfriend is not someone who is willing to take responsibility for others, which is great because it means he can find someone who is willing to take responsibility for him!

2. Freedom

You said, "There are a lot of concerns about getting married. I told her that it would not restrict her freedom, but she still doesn't want to get married." I'm sure you'll be able to persuade her!

My girlfriend thinks that getting married will restrict her and make her worry about all kinds of things. Even if you say that it won't restrict her freedom, she still doesn't want to get married. It feels like she's worried about something. But I'm sure she'll come around!

2. Reasons for my girlfriend's rejection

1️⃣, worried

Fear

Fear is an emotional state in which a person is uneasy about something, someone, or something. It is a psychological state in which a person has concerns or is not at ease. This emotion also shows that these people, things, and objects are very important to a person. When things may or are developing in a bad direction, then a person's heart will hang in the air and they will feel worried. But there's another side to fear! It can also be a signal that something needs your attention. When you feel afraid, it's time to pay attention to what's going on around you. It's a chance to take a deep breath and ask yourself: What can I do to make things better?

Fear of commitment

It's clear that when you mentioned your dream of getting married, your girlfriend said she was unhappy and avoiding some issues. Because marriage means commitment and responsibility, I'm sure she's just worried about keeping her promises and taking on the responsibilities that come with it.

So, she's not ready to be tied down by marriage and has chosen to reject it.

2️⃣, Expectations

Now for the really exciting part! Expectations.

Expectations are an amazing psychological state that refers to good expectations and wishes for a specific event or thing in the future. It contains all kinds of wonderful emotions such as hope, longing, and desire.

Expectations can be positive, motivating you to work towards a goal. They can also be negative, waiting for something to happen.

The kind of life they long for!

My girlfriend thinks there are a lot of concerns about marriage, but in fact, there is an expectation behind it, the expectation of a happy and fulfilling life. Because of past life experiences, she worries that she won't be able to achieve it, so she is full of concerns and dares not take the next step. But I'm excited to help her work through these concerns and take that next step!

3️⃣. The original family lifestyle has an impact

The amazing, wonderful, native family!

The family of origin is the family in which one is born and raised. It's where all the magic begins! The atmosphere of this family, its traditions and customs, the role models for children in the family, and the relationships between family members all influence how children will behave in their new family.

Living conditions influence

The original poster mentioned that she doesn't want to give up her freedom, which means that her original family has given her or made her feel uncomfortable by seeing one of her parents being bound. Therefore, she is afraid of the bondage under this kind of marriage and is unwilling to enter into it. But here's the good news! There's a way to help her overcome this fear.

This is the impact of the original family's living conditions on your girlfriend.

3. What to do

1️⃣, Understand your girlfriend

It's time to understand your girlfriend!

If we want to know why our girlfriend still refuses to get married after we've told her she's free to do so, we need to understand the state of her life in her original family. Find out what she's worried about and what she's afraid of.

Understand her!

Everyone has a past they can't forget, and things that were influenced by their upbringing that prevent them from moving on. But you can help your girlfriend move on from her past! When faced with the past, show your girlfriend understanding and help her slowly digest the impact, so that together you can walk out of the past and start an amazing future together!

2️⃣, see expectations

And see what's expected of you!

We get our girlfriends! We understand their pasts and try to empathize with their feelings. In this way, we can see their true thoughts and understand their inner expectations.

And the best part is, she's totally satisfied!

We absolutely have to understand our girlfriend's past and her thoughts! And we've got to see her expectations and meet them. That's how she'll fulfill her expectations, change her views on marriage, and have confidence in herself and in you!

3️⃣. Give her a sense of security!

Feeling of security

Security is a wonderful psychological feeling that involves a sense of confidence, safety, and freedom from fear and anxiety. It is a feeling of foreboding about possible physical or psychological danger or risk, as well as a sense of power/powerlessness in dealing with it, which is mainly expressed as a sense of certainty and control.

Give her a sense of security!

My girlfriend doesn't want to get married, but she doesn't feel secure in marriage. We're going to change that! We're going to give her what she needs and satisfy her expectations, so that she feels valuable, important, and proud, and finally feels secure.

She feels supported and truly free to live her life, and she can gradually enter into marriage—it's going to be amazing!

Dear Questioner, When you understand your girlfriend, give her what she needs, and show her you care, she'll feel understood and satisfied. She'll come closer to you and enter your life! Life is about mutual understanding and closeness.

I wish the original poster all the best in life!

You dream of getting married to your girlfriend and share this with her honestly, expecting her to respond with excitement. However, she says she is unhappy and feels like she is sacrificing her freedom. Despite your explanation that it won't restrict her freedom, she still feels like it will.

At this point, you may feel, "How could this happen?"

You can dream of marrying your girlfriend and even share this with her! Seeing that you recognize your relationship and have long-term plans, and that you have also been honest with her about this, it is a sign of responsibility.

She'll feel that marriage will take away her freedom, and she'll have many concerns after getting married. This is also a sign of careful consideration, which is great because it shows she's thinking about the future!

After all, a relationship is a matter of two people, and marriage is a matter of two families!

The truth is, there are so many exciting twists and turns in life! Some relationships end in divorce, and it's often because of unexpected challenges, like disagreements with the mother-in-law or other minor issues that arise after marriage.

And in the current era of extremely developed self-media, such situations are amplified to infinity, making people feel that marriage is a restraint and unreliable.

And these concerns cannot be dispelled with a simple statement saying, "It won't restrict your freedom."

So, a simple verbal promise won't reassure your girlfriend. But that's totally normal! It's perfectly fine that she still has her own views because of your simple promise.

You can find some time to talk to her about why she thinks marriage will take away her freedom. What does she think freedom is? It's a great opportunity to have a conversation with her about this!

What kind of marriage makes her feel free?

A woman's words often conceal a thousand thoughts, but you can get to know each other through communication and see how far you can take the relationship!

I wish you all the happiness in the world in love!

This question shows that the questioner doesn't fully understand their girlfriend's state of mind. It also shows that the questioner has some misconceptions about what's expected in a relationship and marriage.

Dating and getting married are things that both men and women do together. It requires both parties to work together to maintain and manage the relationship, and also to share the same views and expectations. Especially when it comes to marriage, both men and women need to be prepared to face all the pressures and responsibilities that come with it.

The questioner mentioned that she dreams of getting married to her girlfriend, but her girlfriend doesn't want to get married. She feels that getting married means losing her freedom and has a lot of concerns. Even if the questioner says that she will not restrict her girlfriend's freedom, she still doesn't want to get married. All of this information needs to be brought up one by one by the questioner and his girlfriend to discuss and solve. Once these problems are solved and the girlfriend feels secure in her heart, she might consider divorce. If these problems are not solved, she will not feel secure in her heart, will not have enough trust in the questioner, and no matter how much the questioner wants to get married and no matter what he says, she still will not marry him. She may even stay away from him or even break up with him because she can't stand being pushed too hard.

So, these issues need to be resolved with the right attention and priority. Once they're sorted, getting married won't be an issue. The above are just my personal views for the questioner's reference.

Dear Question Asker,

I am Si Menger, the respondent. I noted your statement that you have discussed marriage with your girlfriend and that she has expressed a desire to retain her freedom. In response, you indicated that you would not impose any restrictions on her autonomy.

At this juncture, you intend to marry your girlfriend and not restrict her freedom. However, your actions have already restricted her freedom.

I am led to this conclusion because your girlfriend has stated that she does not wish to relinquish her freedom, which she equates with not getting married. Consequently, she is reluctant to proceed with the marriage at this time. However, you are insistent on proceeding with the marriage, despite her initial reservations. This is tantamount to contravening her original intention and restricting her freedom. If you do not restrict her freedom, you are in breach of your promise.

Given her perception of numerous concerns regarding marriage, and the subsequent restriction on her freedom compared to her pre-marital status, it is challenging for her to consider marriage until these concerns are addressed.

It is important to note that verbal persuasion and promises are ineffective in addressing her concerns. Instead, she may perceive these as perfunctory and not a genuine attempt to resolve the underlying issues.

Many of her concerns may be related to you, your personality, the way you handle things, etc. If these make her feel unfree, a few promises will not be of much use. Therefore, it is important to communicate sincerely to find out what her real concerns are. If any of her concerns are about you, you must verify them. It is possible that her concerns about you are based on her perspective and may not be justified.

For example, if she wants to go shopping, you may say you don't want to go, and she may think you don't want her to go either, which is not conducive to a positive outcome. Then, what you really mean may be that you are tired and want to rest at home, while she can go shopping. Of course, there are also parts of your personality that are difficult for her to change, such as speaking more directly. In that case, be more honest and admit that this is the case and that it is difficult to change in the short term.

It is important to consider the other person's perspective. You have informed her of your intentions, but you are unaware of her thoughts on the matter. You may believe she also desires marriage, but she may have reservations. To illustrate, consider a scenario where cherries are perceived as delicious. You have consumed them and found them enjoyable, so you purchase some for her. However, what if she has a history of adverse reactions to cherries? Would she still enjoy them?

Similarly, you may believe that marriage is a beneficial decision, comparable to consuming cherries. However, if she encounters the cherries that previously caused her illness, will she still consume them? Will she still pursue marriage?

You are unaware of her thoughts and opinions, and you have already expressed them, so why does she seem reluctant to share her views with you? One possibility is that she doubts your capacity to listen attentively to what she has to say. Another is that she has already expressed her thoughts, but you have not listened or have misinterpreted them.

It is therefore crucial to learn effective communication skills. I recommend seeking the guidance of a professional counselor. Finally, I wish you success.

I feel the same way, but I'm the girl. There are many reasons why I don't want to get married yet.

The main reason is distrust and uncertainty about the future.

If you don't trust your partner, you won't do the housework. If you want to pay attention to hygiene, your partner will too. I got married and I can't get anything from you. I also have to serve you, which is very unfree.

It's better to live alone.

You don't trust you can handle your parents and your girlfriend's relationship after marriage. If your parents are strong or involved, it may affect your relationship and life.

It will be difficult and there will be a lot of arguments.

Can you handle this?

You don't trust yourself, and you're not sure you're emotionally stable. Marriage means two families coming together.

These things like getting married, buying a house, and having children all depend on the problem-solving abilities of the two people. If you are not responsible, have many disagreements, or she always puts up with you,

If you're not free, your relationship can't be broken up easily. There will be property divisions.

After a divorce, she will have a different status in society.

If someone doesn't make us want to get married, it means there are things to consider. Are you ignoring any of these?

If she doesn't want to get married, it's a different story. If she wants to get married and have children,

She still has doubts about you.

Hello, I am Luyao, the respondent. I am so grateful for the link between the text and you! Dreaming of getting married to your girlfriend must be your beautiful yearning and expectation for the future. It also shows that at this stage, your body and mind are ready for marriage. However, after waking up, the real discussion with your girlfriend has caused you distress. When your girlfriend expresses doubts and unease about getting married, I know you must feel very heavy. First, I hug you, and at the same time, I give you a big thumbs-up for your wisdom! You have found a platform for brainstorming at Yixin, which is so exciting.

I really hope my answer has given you some support!

First, try to understand why she feels uneasy about getting married. It's important to know her concerns and fears so you can address them.

Is there something on her mind? Absolutely! Listen to her and try to understand her position.

Second, express your respect and support! Let her know you respect her freedom and choices, and that you're there for her every step of the way, ready to provide support and help when she needs it.

Tell her you trust her to make the best decision!

Third, you can find a solution that meets your wishes and also her needs! This may require you to explore together to find a solution that is satisfactory to both of you, and it will be so worth it in the end!

And finally, I want to say that marriage is a very important matter that requires both parties to feel comfortable and satisfied. Wait for her to make the right decision, give her enough time to think about it, and also give her enough support and understanding. Believe that true love is indestructible!

Greetings, question asker.

The issues you mentioned, such as "marriage" and "freedom," pertain to the comprehension of marriage between the two sexes.

In light of the aforementioned considerations, it seems prudent to present a series of reflections for your consideration.

The concept of marriage can be defined as an individual's perspective and attitude towards the institution of marriage.

This encompasses the significance of marriage, the value of marital relationships, the responsibilities and obligations inherent to marriage, and strategies for navigating conflicts and disputes within the marital context.

A relatively mature and reasonable view of marriage should be reflected in the following aspects:

First and foremost, a foundation should be laid based on mutual respect, understanding, equality, trust, and tolerance.

A relationship or marriage can only be considered healthy, equal, and stable when both parties involved respect each other's independence and dignity.

It is therefore essential to respect the current girlfriend's judgment and emotions regarding marriage, including her concerns and her lack of desire to marry. This respect is a fundamental aspect of achieving a successful marriage.

Secondly, it is essential to prioritize the mutual growth and development of both parties.

In a relationship, both parties should prioritize self-growth and development, with the aim of continuously enhancing their emotional intelligence and cognitive maturity through time and practice.

For example, your girlfriend has the opinion that marriage "buries your freedom," whereas you have promised that you "will not restrict her freedom."

Indeed, the relationship between marriage and freedom is a complex and profound topic in itself.

Although marriage objectively restricts some personal choices and actions, it also essentially brings a sense of security and stability, which positively influences personal freedom.

In other words, freedom before marriage signifies the entitlement to opt for or against matrimony at this particular juncture. Conversely, freedom after marriage pertains to the capacity to uphold one's individual autonomy and self-determination.

It is therefore inadvisable to rely on one's current feelings and judgments in addressing the various specific challenges and problems that may arise in a relationship or marriage. Similarly, one's current responses or attitudes should not be taken as the definitive answer or result.

Thirdly, it is important to recognise and accept the differences between individuals.

When two individuals are in a relationship, it is essential for them to cultivate tolerance and understanding, and to refrain from imposing their personal desires upon one another.

For example, it would be unreasonable to expect your girlfriend to share the same positive emotional state as you when you are excited and happy about the prospect of marriage.

Furthermore, if your girlfriend has reservations about marriage and is reluctant to proceed at this time, it is unreasonable to expect her to alter her perspective and embrace your views.

Therefore, it is imperative to cultivate tolerance for one another's and one's own shortcomings, recognizing the necessity of continuous effort to nurture and sustain the relationship over an extended period.

It can be reasonably deduced that the path to a blissful and fulfilling relationship lies in the cultivation and preservation of the current bond.

Ultimately, it is essential to consider the practical aspects and realistic circumstances that may influence the decision-making process.

It is also recommended that individuals remain rational and clear-headed when selecting a final life partner, and that they avoid relying solely on feelings and fate.

It is advisable to take the initiative to consider the degree of compatibility between the two parties in terms of personality, values, and living habits. Furthermore, it is important to avoid pursuing romantic interests and passion without due consideration, or to refrain from passive acceptance of circumstances. This approach can help to prevent the potential for unnecessary harm and distress in one's romantic life.

It is my hope that the aforementioned information will prove to be of some assistance to you.

Dear Questioner, For now, it's a good thing! Be grateful for the chance to connect.

From what you've told me, it's clear you love your girlfriend and are disappointed and worried about her response. I'm here to help!

Let's discuss this further.

1. First, take care of your emotions.

You dreamed of marrying your girlfriend, which shows that you love her very much and are looking forward to entering into marriage with her. However, your girlfriend's response was not what you expected, which disappointed you and made you feel a little lost. At the same time, you are a little worried about the future development of your relationship, aren't you?

It's normal to have these feelings. Accept and allow yourself to have these emotions. Write down your worries and the various thoughts in your head, and check whether these thoughts are true.

If it's true or likely to happen, what else can you do? Sort through your emotions and thoughts, and when you've calmed down, think about how to solve the problem.

Once you've taken care of your own emotions, you'll be in a better position to understand your girlfriend's emotions, see what she really needs, give her what she wants, and build a stronger relationship.

2. Check in with your girlfriend to see how she's doing.

If your girlfriend says she's unhappy and doesn't want to give up her freedom, and that she's worried about a lot of things if she gets married, you can have a good talk with her to find out what her concerns are and what she means by losing her freedom. Is she worried that after marriage she won't be able to go shopping or travel as often as she likes, or that she won't be able to choose her own work freely? Is she worried that after marriage she won't be able to decide for herself when and what to do, that her in-laws will have expectations of her and label her, or that her upbringing has given her a certain impression of marriage and she doesn't want to enter into it, or that she isn't ready for marriage?

What exactly is she worried about? Is it having more relationships and titles, more responsibilities, being pushed to get married, not getting along with your family, or something else?

You can talk about what the specific areas are and what the content is. That way, she'll know that some of her concerns are just thoughts and ideas that may not necessarily happen. In some areas, you can promise her that you'll allow and accept her, so that she doesn't have to worry about it.

Agree with her on some things to make her feel more secure and relaxed.

Going into such detailed discussions will help you understand why she's unhappy and what she's thinking. Your response of "I won't restrict her freedom" won't satisfy her and won't make her let go of these concerns.

3. Give her the space to be herself.

It seems like your girlfriend has her own ideas about her life and some inner insecurities. She wants to achieve the result you expect, so you need to allow and accept her so that she can feel safe, happy, supported, and allowed, respected and accepted, and also feel your sincere love for her.

It seems like she's not quite ready yet, and there are still some areas where she could use some support. If you can provide emotional value, pick up on her emotions, satisfy her inner psychological needs, and even heal her inner wounds with love, you might be able to change her stereotypical view of marriage and help her attitude shift.

You can also find a marriage counselor to go and see, learn before marriage, and prepare well for managing intimate relationships and effective communication after marriage. This kind of mutual growth will make your relationship stronger and more stable, and then it may be more appropriate to discuss marital problems then.

I hope this helps. Best of luck!

Hello, my name is Zeyu.

In terms of attitudes towards marriage, there are differences between people. This can be seen in the question, "My girlfriend says she doesn't want to get married and doesn't want to give up her freedom."

Let's start by trying to understand each other's needs. The questioner said, "I dreamed that I got married to my girlfriend, so I told her about it." Dreams can be seen as an extension of reality. Perhaps the questioner has considered the question of whether to get married in reality and hopes to walk down the aisle with his girlfriend. Judging from the action of telling his girlfriend about the scene he dreamed, it can be felt that the relationship between the questioner and his girlfriend is close enough and in your opinion, suitable for marriage.

Let's now consider the girlfriend's perspective: "She expressed feelings of discontent and a desire to retain her autonomy. She perceived potential challenges if she were to get married." Based on her stance on marriage, it seems that she may not be fully prepared to take that step. She seems to have reservations about marriage and tends to avoid it. She is concerned that marriage might restrict her freedom and impose certain limitations. Rather than attempting to persuade her that her views are misguided, our aim is to empathise with her desire for independence and to understand her reservations about marriage.

The questioner's chosen method of dealing with the fact that she doesn't want to get married is to give the other person freedom. While this approach may have some value, it may not be the most effective in all situations. In this regard, it can be helpful to try to understand the other person's views and needs regarding marriage. This allows us to consider their perspective and make them feel heard, which is an important foundation for effective communication. If we want to convince the other person to let go of their concerns and marry us, it's important to give them time to adjust and adapt. This may require finding ways to allay their concerns and reassure them that we are taking this process slowly. In this regard, it's not necessary to do this urgently, but rather to communicate our willingness to adjust and reassure the other person in a subtle way, allowing them to put their concerns aside.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what marriage means to you and what it would mean if you did not get married.

Once we have a clear understanding of these two questions, we can then ask ourselves whether we would choose to leave because our partner does not want to get married, or whether we would respect our partner's choice and gradually adjust to it.

When you conveyed to me your joyous anticipation of marriage, I sensed the tenderness and excitement in your heart. However, my response may have inadvertently caused you distress, as I alluded to the potential uncertainty surrounding marriage and the value of personal freedom.

This is not a straightforward answer; rather, it is a multifaceted emotional and practical issue. Let us examine this sentiment together and identify the optimal course of action, while maintaining mutual respect.

1. Gain an understanding of her true thoughts

First and foremost, it is essential to recognize that each individual possesses a distinct understanding and pursuit of life. The concerns she articulates about marriage may, in fact, reflect her genuine sentiments.

The transition to marriage often entails a shift in personal autonomy and the assumption of greater responsibility and stability. However, this transition may also be accompanied by a sense of restriction on personal space and freedom. The individual may express concern that marriage will result in a loss of identity or that their future life will be too restrictive, affecting their ability to pursue their personal dreams and interests.

These concerns are not baseless; rather, they are a reflection of her personal values and ideals for life.

2. Investigate the underlying causes.

However, her response may also be indicative of a deeper emotional state. Her mention of "not wanting to bury her freedom" may be a subtle expression of her current relationship dynamic.

It is possible that she is experiencing pressure or discomfort in the relationship and is concerned that marriage will exacerbate this. Additionally, her statement that marriage will cause concerns may indicate a fear of future uncertainty and doubts about the resilience of the relationship in the face of marriage.

Moreover, although it may appear somewhat severe, her assertion that she is "not truly satisfied with you" could be interpreted as a subtle suggestion that she believes the relationship could benefit from further growth and depth.

3. Communication and Resolution

In this situation, effective communication is the primary means of resolving the issue. The following suggestions are designed to facilitate more effective communication with the individual in question, thereby enabling a more accurate understanding of her intentions and the ability to make an optimal decision together.

It is essential to recognize that a thorough investigation is vital to ascertain the other person's genuine intentions. The following specific questioning methods and strategies are designed to facilitate a more comprehensive understanding of their inner thoughts:

1. Open-ended questions

The use of open-ended questions is an effective method for encouraging the subject to express their thoughts and feelings in greater detail. These questions typically commence with words such as "what," "how," and "why," and avoid the use of simple "yes" or "no" responses.

To illustrate,

"Could you please elaborate on the areas of freedom that you believe may be constrained within the context of marriage?"

"Please enumerate the specific concerns you have about marriage, and provide concrete examples or situations to illustrate them."

"What aspects of our relationship do you feel require improvement or reinforcement so that you can enter into marriage with greater confidence?"

2. Delve into the emotional and psychological aspects of the situation.

Gain a more profound comprehension of her authentic sentiments and necessities pertaining to marriage, personal autonomy, and the relationship. This will facilitate a more precise apprehension of her concerns and the identification of efficacious solutions.

"What does marriage signify to you in terms of personal growth and self-realization? How would you prefer to sustain this growth within the context of marriage?"

"To what extent are you satisfied with the current relationship? What aspects of the relationship are particularly valuable to you, and what changes would you like to see?"

"If there were an ideal state of marriage, what would it be like? What role would you like to play in it?"

3. Demonstrate concern and support.

In the process of questioning, it is imperative to demonstrate concern and support for the respondent, as this fosters a sense of sincerity and willingness to listen. This, in turn, facilitates the creation of a secure and transparent communication environment, thereby enhancing the likelihood of candid expression.

"I am aware that discussing these topics may be challenging, but I am sincerely interested in understanding your perspective. Would you be willing to engage in a dialogue on this matter?"

"Regardless of the decision you ultimately make, I will respect and support you. My hope is that we can gain a deeper understanding of each other's perspectives and collaboratively identify the most optimal course of action."

4. Identify solutions collaboratively

Once the true intentions have been discerned, the next step is to extend an invitation for joint exploration of potential solutions. This approach not only conveys a constructive and collaborative disposition but also fosters enhanced cooperation and rapport between the parties involved.

"What would the situation be like if a solution could be found that would allow for the preservation of your personal freedom while also meeting the expectations for marriage?"

"Are there any particular strategies or plans that you believe could assist us in better preparing for and adapting to married life?"

5. It is imperative to exercise patience and understanding.

It is important to note that communication is an ongoing process, and it may require multiple in-depth conversations to fully comprehend each other's genuine intentions. It is essential to demonstrate patience and understanding, and to provide sufficient time and space for reflection and expression.

By employing these particular questioning techniques, it is possible to gain a more accurate understanding of the individual's deepest thoughts and intentions, thereby facilitating the identification of the most appropriate trajectory for the relationship's evolution.

Ultimately, regardless of the decision that is ultimately reached, it is imperative that mutual respect be extended to each other's choices and feelings. The decision to marry is a matter for two people, and it requires the joint will and effort of both parties.

In the event that she is unequivocally opposed to marriage and you are unable to reconcile your stance with hers, it may be necessary to re-examine the relationship and determine whether to continue moving forward.

In conclusion, when confronted with the significant undertaking of marriage, it is essential to possess sufficient patience, understanding, and courage to engage in communication, exploration, and decision-making. It is our hope that you will discover a path that aligns with your individual needs and create a promising future together.

Good day.

From what you have shared, I can appreciate your feelings.

In your initial description of the problem, you mentioned that you had dreamed of getting married to your girlfriend. There is a well-known saying that explains this phenomenon: "What you think about during the day, you dream about at night." From this, we can infer that you may be feeling some anxiety about marriage.

It's important to remember that you don't need to feel too much pressure in this situation. Stress can affect not only our thoughts and actions but also those around us.

Secondly, you wrote in the problem description that your girlfriend said she was unhappy and didn't want to give up her freedom. She also expressed worry about many things if she got married. From this description, it seems that your girlfriend may have some reservations about marriage. Marriage phobia refers to the fear of getting married, and usually occurs in people who are marriageable but are reluctant to enter the marriage hall.

People who are afraid of marriage often have reservations about the prospect of married life, expressing concerns that it might restrict their freedom and individuality, or that it might bring about a significant increase in responsibility and pressure.

From a psychological perspective, it could be said that fear of marriage is one of the symptoms of anxiety and an abnormal psychological state. People who are afraid of marriage may typically display the following psychological characteristics:

1. Easily anxious: Those who are fearful of marriage tend to be full of uncertainty and worry about the future, and may find it challenging to face the unknown. This anxiety can manifest in their apprehension about the potential changes and pressures that married life may bring.

2. A lack of confidence in their abilities: People who are afraid of marriage often have a limited sense of self-assurance, which can make it challenging for them to envision themselves taking on the responsibilities and role changes that marriage entails. They may feel that they are not yet prepared to navigate the unique challenges and opportunities that come with married life.

3. A skewed view of marriage: People who are afraid of marriage often have some misconceptions about marriage. They may believe that marriage is restrictive and will limit their freedom and individuality. They may also be overly concerned about the responsibilities and pressures of married life, and unable to fully embrace the joy and happiness that married life can bring.

From a sociological perspective, it seems that the phenomenon of marriage fear is becoming more and more common in modern society. There are a number of reasons for this, which we will explore below.

1. Social pressure: In modern society, marriage has become a socially accepted behavior, and people who are not married are sometimes regarded as "outliers" or "abnormal." This social pressure may make some people feel like they have to enter the marriage hall, rather than actually wanting to get married.

2. Changes in personal values: Modern people's values are becoming increasingly diverse and individualized, and some people's attitudes towards marriage have also evolved. They believe that marriage is not the only way to live, and that there are many other options that can make them happy and content.

3. Financial pressure: In modern society, the cost of married life is becoming increasingly significant. Some people express concern about their ability to afford the financial responsibilities associated with marriage, or believe that marriage might impact their career development. This financial pressure may influence some individuals' decisions about marriage.

I wonder if I might make one more suggestion.

1. It is often the case that communication is of great importance during this time. If communication is not reasonable, it may result in a gap between you.

2. Given the circumstances, you might consider suggesting that your girlfriend speak with a counselor or engage in some pre-marital psychological preparation work to help her cope with her stress.

3. If there are still some reservations about marriage, the current trial marriage may help to strengthen the emotional ties between you both.

Please note that the above content is for reference only.

Hello!

The girlfriend says she doesn't want to get married and lose her freedom?

Have you ever had a dream that your girlfriend doesn't want to get married? In the dream, she expresses her desire not to sacrifice her freedom. Then, when you return to reality, you realize that she does want to marry you after all! Dreams can't directly reflect reality, but they can truthfully reflect our true emotional state.

It's totally normal to have dreams about your girlfriend not wanting to get married. It's probably because you're worrying about it and having fears about it. In real life, you can feel your girlfriend's thoughts and ideas. You can ask her directly if she wants to get married or not. You can communicate with her. You can sense it. But at that time, you may have refused to feel this way. If you don't acknowledge this part of your feelings, it will turn into a dream to remind you.

It's totally normal to have dreams about being sick before an exam or even running away from the exam hall! When our realistic wishes can't be fulfilled, we often use dreams to truly reflect our wishes and emotions that we've been holding back. This can help us feel satisfied with our inner wishes. However, in this case, the dream is showing us something different from what the questioner wants.

It's totally normal to feel a bit scared and confused when you're trying to make big life decisions. It seems like you really want to marry your girlfriend, but the reality is not ideal. It's totally understandable that you're feeling a bit pained by the situation and hoping to work hard to achieve your goal of getting married. The dream seems to explain that getting married won't limit your girlfriend's commitment, but she's still not 100% on board with the idea of getting married.

So, why does such a conflict arise in reality? It seems a bit contradictory that the girlfriend refuses to marry, but if we take a closer look at what marriage really means, we can actually find some answers. For example, marriage requires responsibility and commitment, which can be a bit daunting for some people.

This is a real "restriction of freedom," so the questioner's response in the dream can't really dispel his girlfriend's concerns. She can still feel the potential restrictions and risk factors in marriage, which is totally understandable!

Take marriage, for instance. We've got to think about the practical side of things, like the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and the responsibility of raising children. If we don't get these things right, our dreams might not come true. The promise the questioner makes might be just that — a promise — because the future is still unfolding. So, it's up to the girlfriend to shoulder some of the emotional burden caused by the gap. She's also got to face her own fears, which are part of the responsibility.

It seems there's a bit of a difference of opinion between the questioner and his girlfriend. It's totally normal for couples to have different views on marriage. Even in the best families, there can be a bit of a clash of ideas. And it's only natural to feel a bit of pressure as a result.

Let me give you a real-life example to illustrate my point.

Let's say two people who love each other very much get married. We think that the marriage must be happy and blissful, but it's not until the wife goes to the husband's family that she truly feels that these differences in perception have long existed. For example, the husband's mother always interferes with the boundaries of other people in the family at will. Although these boundaries are there, they're not always clear. The family can't teach the mother about "the spatial nature of boundaries between people," but they also can't completely abandon their parents. So, conflicts arise at any time, and sometimes they're resolved in other ways without being visible. But some conflicts don't disappear.

When a boyfriend becomes a husband, these boundary violations become a problem in one's own family. It can be really tough for a wife to navigate this. She might feel like she can't completely resolve the problem through communication, and at the same time, she can't directly cut off contact. This can make her feel like marital conflict is always like a shadow, and she's not happy.

So, what's the issue between the questioner and his girlfriend? It's important for the questioner to be emotionally aware and to listen well, as well as to provide stability. The questioner may also have some needs and need to communicate honestly with his girlfriend. They need to be honest with each other in order to truly find a harmonious and win-win situation and move forward.

If you and your partner are able to meet each other's needs and are willing to make a commitment to the relationship, then when you encounter conflict in the future, you can still seek a way to get along better while maintaining respect and understanding. You can also find a way to protect your own rights and interests without infringing on the other person's rights and interests. Marriage is realistic, while love is free and romantic. You need to make a frank decision with a clear understanding of yourself.

I really hope these answers help you!

Wishing you all the best!