My husband doesn't complain, just solves problems, taking one step back at a time. Is this emotional stability?

Hello.

Your mother-in-law is particularly talkative, and you and your husband dislike her chatter. When your husband is confronted with his mother-in-law's chatter, he either answers patiently, remains silent, or changes the subject. He never says anything directly.

As a daughter-in-law, you may be wondering why your husband doesn't express his needs directly.

If nagging is your mother-in-law's personal habit, a habit that has been maintained for decades, you can be sure that nothing would happen if your husband suddenly asked her directly to stop nagging and speak concisely and clearly.

It is extremely challenging to alter someone's habits. Even a highly skilled counselor who is determined to facilitate change will have to conduct numerous extended sessions with the individual before they can make even the slightest change.

The elderly have maintained their habits for too long, for 50 or 60 years. She doesn't think she has a problem and has never wanted to change. She'll think and do whatever she wants when faced with her son's blunt words.

Your husband has spent decades developing skills with his mother, and I am certain that he has learned that he cannot speak directly. He knows in his heart that expressing his needs directly and honestly will not only not solve the problem, it will also affect their relationship.

It doesn't matter what your needs are. It doesn't matter whether it seems good or bad to you. In his eyes, he has already expressed his needs with his own experience.

Everyone's family of origin is different. If it were you and your mom and dad, you would express your needs directly.

The atmosphere in your family is direct, and that's how it needs to be. Your parents accept your directness, and you accept theirs. Your in-laws' family is different, though.

Your husband is a very emotionally stable person. He never complains about many things; he solves problems instead.

He can solve any problem without complaining. He has a very stable mindset and a very broad mind. He is someone you can trust.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "he will gradually back off." Do you feel the problem has not been completely resolved?

I don't understand this sentence. It's like you're saying your mother-in-law is nagging.

Let me be clear: you can't expect your husband to solve all her nagging problems for you before you can say that you have no regrets. That's not realistic.

The mother-in-law will not agree with the nagging and will get angry, which will cause conflicts between the mother and the son.

It is simply not possible for two people to accept each other just because they express their needs. We must learn to compromise and make concessions on this unrealistic matter if we want to learn to adapt.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. The secret to a long-lasting relationship is that we can tolerate each other's shortcomings, and the other person can tolerate our shortcomings. It's simple: relationships are stable and last a long time when we accommodate each other.

In traditional Chinese families, the most challenging relationship is undoubtedly that between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The three of you have a good relationship, and there is also the husband-wife relationship and the mother-son relationship, which is quite complex.

The way to get along with a complicated relationship is to respect and tolerate each other as much as possible. The mother-in-law is getting old, and in the eyes of the younger generation, she will become more and more nagging and stubborn.

We are young and better at learning and adapting. We can learn how to get along with the elderly and learn to respect and appreciate your husband. This will make the family happier and last longer.

I love you and I bless you!

Hello, questioner!

In life, there is no room for complaining. Problem solving is the only option. This is a very good quality.

I'm sure you wouldn't.

Your husband should not tell his mother to say less. That is not an honest way to express his needs.

It is a request made to the mother. Your husband directly expressed this request, and it is unlikely that your mother-in-law will change because of it.

I disagree. It will not change, and it will only lead to relationship tension.

We all know the simple truth: we cannot change others. The only thing we can change is ourselves and our own views and responses to things.

Your husband understands this principle. He either patiently answers, or responds by remaining silent or changing the subject.

From your description, it's clear you and your husband have different approaches to dealing with this. There's no right or wrong way to handle it.

The world is not black and white. Some things may seem like you are giving in on all sides, but you are not.

It's about submission and acceptance, plain and simple.

A friend of mine was betrayed by his best friend. Everyone thought he would rise up in resistance and confront him, but he didn't.

My friend didn't say or do anything. When I asked him why,

My friend was clear: if I did that, I'd be stuck in this unhappy situation for a long time. Even if I proved him wrong, it wouldn't help.

My character is not what he says it is. My character is obvious to all, and there is simply no need to explain it. A hateful person will not approve of me because of what he says, nor will he disapprove of me because of what he says.

I make myself happy. I make the people who like me happy.

Your husband may seem to give in on everything, but he is simply trying to make himself and the people he loves happy.

The questioner: The present is good! Be grateful to have met.

From your description, it's clear you don't understand your husband's behavior. Let's talk about it.

1. Understand your husband's behavior.

Your mother-in-law is particularly nagging, and this has not developed over just a day or two. Your husband is already used to your mother-in-law's nagging behavior, and he has a strategy for dealing with it. He either answers patiently, remains silent, or changes the subject. He never directly says, "Tell her to stop nagging."

He probably rebelled and criticized your mother-in-law for nagging when he was growing up. The consequences didn't achieve the result he wanted, and it got even worse. Over time, he developed the kind of behavior you describe.

If he says directly that your mother-in-law is not aware of this behavior and has no intention of changing it, then he's only going to make her more dissatisfied because her nagging is a sign that she has many unmet needs. He's saying that he cannot change this habit of nagging in your mother-in-law.

This analysis should help you understand your husband's behavior.

2. Existence is reasonable.

In the description, you have a question: "Is it really okay that I can't express my needs truthfully?" The answer is simple: no behavior is good or bad. As long as there is such a behavior, the occurrence of such a behavior is reasonable.

We may not understand or agree with the behavior, but there must be a reason for its occurrence. "Existence is reasonable."

From your own experience of growing up, you know that communicating honestly and consistently about your needs is the most effective approach. You recognize that expressing your needs honestly is a behavior that deserves recognition.

My husband may have tried to express himself this way, but his upbringing prevented him from doing so. That's why he has these behaviors.

You can't change someone else unless they're willing to change on their own. So we need to consistently express our real needs in this way in our lives. This will show the other person how convenient and effective it is to do so. It will also influence them a little bit at a time, and then make corresponding changes.

3. I need to know how to help my husband.

"This is the case with many things in life. He never complains, only solves problems, but he will gradually retreat. Is this a sign of emotional stability?" I'm not sure what you mean by "he will gradually retreat," but it seems like you don't understand or accept this behavior.

He's either emotionally stable or he's acting in a regressive way. He's too rational and has lost his human touch by not complaining but just solving problems.

You mentioned that he will back off a little bit, and you don't quite understand what his specific behavior is. Check with him why he does that. This process will make him aware of his behavior and prompt change.

We can help him communicate positively and effectively, rather than withdrawing. What do you think?

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to you. I wish you the best!

Your husband's choice to respond patiently, remain silent, or change the subject when faced with his mother-in-law's nagging is a great sign of emotional stability! He has a certain degree of emotional management ability and can also be seen as a sign of emotional stability. He does not easily show his negative emotions, but rather deals with unpleasant situations in a more peaceful way.

But emotional stability is so much more than just not complaining and avoiding conflict. It's also about being able to express your feelings and needs in a positive way and dealing effectively with negative emotions and stress.

If your husband chooses to avoid directly expressing his needs and feelings in any situation, this may lead to long-term emotional suppression and poor communication. But don't worry! There are ways to help him communicate more openly and honestly.

His behavior of "taking a step back" may reflect a strategy to avoid direct conflict. In the short term, this may help maintain a harmonious relationship, which is great! However, in the long term, if this retreat is due to suppressing one's true feelings and needs, it may accumulate dissatisfaction and conflicts, which we definitely want to avoid!

So, while some of your husband's behavior may be seen as a sign of emotional stability, it may also hide potential problems. The good news is that you can easily turn this around! All you have to do is communicate openly and honestly with each other. This way, he can express his feelings and needs more comfortably, while also being able to understand and respect your feelings and needs.

This is how you build healthier, stronger relationships!

And there's another thing! Everyone handles problems and expresses emotions in a unique way. Some people prefer to express themselves directly, while others prefer to be reserved and tactful.

It's so important to find a way of communicating that suits both of you and ensures that you both feel comfortable and fulfilled in the relationship. If your husband is good at other things but just lacks in expressing his needs, then through communication and understanding, you can work together to find a better solution.

Good day.

After reviewing your description, I can comprehend your sentiments.

First, you wrote in your description: "My mother-in-law is particularly loquacious. Although my husband doesn't like it either, he handles her loquaciousness in one of three ways: he answers patiently, remains silent, or changes the subject. He never directly tells her to speak less." It is important to recognize your husband's performance and approach, as he is dealing with his mother, your mother-in-law, which involves navigating two distinct identities.

The first issue is your attitude towards the elderly. It is common for the elderly to be verbose. It is important to understand that as people age, their minds can no longer hold onto things. Additionally, as people age, their memory tends to decline. When these two factors combine, it can result in the elderly being verbose. Once you have grasped this concept, simply inform his mother that your mother-in-law is verbose. This will have a significant impact on the elderly's perception, and it is also mentioned in the "Protection of the Elderly Act" that the elderly's psychology should be taken care of.

Another reason is respect for the elderly or respect for family members. As a traditional educational practice that has been in place since ancient times, if you resent the elderly, you can easily be morally compromised.

Secondly, you have stated that your husband never complains, only solves problems, but will gradually back off. You have asked whether this is a sign of emotional stability. From your description, your husband's not complaining may be a character trait, or it can be seen as a kind of cultivation.

Whether this can be defined as emotional stability is open to question. From your own perspective, it may be a matter of habit, and it could be seen as a stable and clear performance. From another perspective, changing the subject may be a means of emotional diversion, which means that your husband's inner clarity is also suppressed, except that he is digesting it in another way.

I would like to make the following suggestion:

1. Your attitude indicates disapproval of this behavior, but it can effectively prevent unnecessary conflicts in many cases.

2. From your husband's perspective, he is effectively managing his emotions, but he also requires an outlet for emotional expression. You are the ideal candidate to provide this support.

3. From your description, you are dissatisfied with your mother-in-law's behavior, and you would like to resolve the issue through your husband. However, it is important to maintain the appropriate standards of filial piety.

4. This is not intended to be advice, but in many cases, role reversal can be an effective solution. If you and your husband were to switch roles, how would you proceed?

The aforementioned information is for reference only.

First of all, congratulations on finding such a good husband! It's so great that you have such a peaceful and loving relationship. Many wives would love to have a husband who treats them so well.

First of all, it's important to understand that behavior and emotion are two different concepts. Emotion often dictates behavior, and behavior is a reaction to emotion. What you've described is your husband's behavior, and I don't see any negative emotions on his part.

In general, the best way to handle this is to speak patiently and tactfully, change the subject, and try to stay calm. Your husband should be a rational, intelligent, and action-oriented person, so it's important to give him the space to be that way. Complaining doesn't help solve problems, but it can make things worse. The best way to eliminate conflicts and resolve contradictions is to actually solve the problem.

Second, when faced with things you don't like, most people will get emotional. It's totally normal! Emotions can accumulate over time, but they can also be released in appropriate ways. If the rate at which emotions are released is faster than the rate at which they are released, then the emotions will not accumulate in the body, but will instead accumulate. Emotions have energy, and when they accumulate to a certain level, they will erupt in various forms, either attacking others, as in tantrums and arguments, or attacking oneself, which may bring illness to the body.

Third, from what you've told me, I can tell that you're upset about your husband's attitude towards your mother-in-law, and that you're not totally comfortable with his approach. I think your husband is doing the right thing by speaking to your mother-in-law. Have you considered that just telling her directly, "You don't need to nag," might not be the solution?

It's not easy to change a habit that's been around for so long, and it might even make her angry, make her nag more, or even harm her health. But you know what? You can learn to accept it without taking it personally. And you can definitely avoid going up to her and stopping her from nagging you!

If you don't approve of your husband's style, then you are born into a life of bliss without knowing it.

It's so important to remember to nurture yourself, especially when you're facing a husband who is tolerant and supportive. It's easy to get caught up in his style and start to take it too far, which can cause conflicts and make you feel angry. It's a natural reaction, but it's so important to try to avoid it.

Many things can backfire over time. As a wife, you should try to understand your husband, pay attention to him, and have a chat with him. Find out if he gets emotional when things happen to him and what he does to deal with his emotions. It's especially important to be aware of the fact that a long-term habit of backing down may make him emotional and unable to deal with his emotions effectively. This is really bad for his health.

Hello, I'd like to offer you a 360-degree hug if you'd like.

After reading your question, I realize that I may have given a somewhat one-sided answer because there is not much information to work with.

Could you perhaps elaborate on how you perceive your husband's reluctance to voice his concerns and tendency to find solutions through compromise as indications of emotional stability? You provided an illustrative example to support this assertion.

My husband and my mother-in-law have a different approach to communication. My mother-in-law is very talkative, and my husband finds it challenging to engage with her in that way. Rather than directly expressing his preference, he chooses to respond patiently, remain silent, or change the subject.

I wonder if you think it's a little unfortunate that my husband struggles to express his needs in a forthright manner.

It is not always easy to express our needs directly. It requires courage and a willingness to consider the pros and cons. Sometimes, our true feelings may not be immediately apparent, and we may lack the courage to express them.

As a simple example, teachers may have a variety of requests, such as crafts in kindergarten or safety work in primary school. If parents are unable to assist their children with the tasks, they may be mentioned in the group chat by the teacher. In such cases, it's likely that the majority of parents will quickly step in to help.

Do you think they are really willing to do it? It's possible that they may have already expressed their concerns about the teacher on more than one occasion, or they may also have discussed their feelings with other parents, sharing their perception that the school is formalistic and that the teacher is taking advantage of the situation. It's important to note that this kind of homework is not assigned to the children; it is basically assigned to the parents.

Ultimately, however, most parents tend to complete the tasks without directly expressing their needs to the teacher. For instance, if my child is reluctant to do the homework, I believe that only a few parents would have the courage to tell the teacher.

I would prefer not to comment, but if the teacher raises the issue, I will respond promptly, even though I am not entirely comfortable with the situation. In such a case, it may be helpful to express our concerns while also offering a solution.

Your husband may not enjoy his mother-in-law's nagging, but rather than telling her to stop, he has chosen to address the situation in a different way. This approach does not necessarily reflect emotional stability, but it is a way of responding to a challenge.

This is his way of responding to something he doesn't like. It's the approach he takes after considering the pros and cons.

While it may not directly address the underlying issue, expressing your frustration in this way can help you feel a little better. If your husband were to say something like, "Mom, I know you're trying to help, but maybe it's not the best approach,"

It is likely that your mother-in-law will express her feelings in a way that suggests that the children have grown up and are disobeying her, that she is old and no longer appreciated, and that her son is being unfilial.

It is possible that the son may have to endure not only his mother-in-law's nagging, but also other forms of criticism.

It's possible that my husband's way of coping is based on years of experience and habit. If he doesn't feel uncomfortable, or if he does but is still willing to do it, then it's probably best to let it be.

As long as he is not uncomfortable, then there is no problem. I don't believe it has anything to do with emotional stability.

You mentioned later that your husband rarely complains about things in life, but rather focuses on finding solutions. He likely understands that expressing frustration won't necessarily address the underlying issue if it's already occurred.

After expressing one's frustration, it is still necessary to find a solution. It may be more beneficial to focus on the solution rather than the frustration.

This is a reasonable and logical way of thinking.

It's possible that your husband is backing away gradually because he hasn't yet reached his limit, and he's willing to do so. However, if you really challenge his beliefs, he may not be as willing to back down.

Given the limited information you've shared, I can only offer a general observation. We all have different thresholds for how we respond to the actions and words of others.

This is your husband's business, and it's his way of coping. As I mentioned, if he doesn't feel uncomfortable, then there's no problem.

However, it seems that there may be some differences of opinion between you and your husband regarding his behavior. His words and deeds have caused you some distress.

These are your own problems, and it would be helpful for you to work through them. It seems that you would prefer your husband to be more assertive.

I'm not sure how your relationship typically functions, but it's possible that your husband may also be backing down in your interactions. When you have conflicts, does your husband's backing down make you feel powerless, like you've hit a fist into a cloud?

You haven't mentioned anything about your relationship, so I'm not sure if you also have difficulties communicating with your husband, but it seems like you might have some concerns that you're not able to express. With the limited information you've shared, I think it might be helpful for you to talk to a counselor.

Your husband has chosen a different way of coping, and as long as he is not suffering, that is fine. However, you have a different perspective on your husband's words and actions, and you are somewhat dissatisfied.

These are your emotions, and it would be beneficial for you to work through them. I suspect that the root of the problem may lie in your relationship with your husband. It might be helpful for you to speak with a counselor.

I am a counselor who tends to view the world through a Buddhist lens and tends to be somewhat pessimistic, though I do try to maintain a positive outlook when I can. I love you and the world.

Your husband may be using "avoidant conflict resolution." This means avoiding or not expressing emotions or needs when faced with conflict or difficulties. Instead, he may try to solve the problem or distract himself.

This behavior may be a sign of emotional stability, but it can also cause problems.

Avoiding conflict resolution doesn't mean you're emotionally stable. It might be due to inner conflict and pressure.

Avoiding emotions can lead to frustration and the hiding of feelings.

Avoiding conflict can also lead to problems in communication and relationships. If he can't express his needs and emotions, there may be a lack of understanding between you.

This can affect your relationship and trust.

Learn to handle conflict and express emotions effectively. This includes expressing your needs and feelings, listening to others, finding solutions, and communicating well.

It can be hard to talk about problems, but it's the best way to fix them and build a good relationship.

You and your husband should learn to handle conflicts and express emotions better. You can also get help from a marriage and family therapist.

Hello. It seems that your husband does not complain even when faced with things he doesn't like, and does not directly express his needs. This may be confusing for you as to whether this is really a sign of emotional stability, or whether there is a hidden worry.

From what you've shared, it seems like you're attuned to your husband's emotional state. Have you had the chance to talk about this with him? It's a topic that could be beneficial to explore together, as it might help you and your husband gain a deeper understanding of each other.

It's important to remember that everyone has their own unique problem-solving style and habits, influenced by their personality, way of thinking, status, and responsibilities. Some people tend to be more rational and prefer to tackle problems one at a time, with a clear focus on achieving their goals.

In dealing with challenges, they tend to consider whether a particular course of action will help resolve the issue at hand or potentially introduce new complications.

They may also take action to relieve inner stress.

From what you've shared, it seems that your husband may display some of these characteristics.

However, it is challenging to ascertain whether this is an example of emotional stability, as there is a possibility that emotions may be suppressed, controlled, and hidden. Everyone has a unique approach to emotions and methods of dealing with them. Some individuals may perceive emotions as obstacles that impede problem-solving, leading them to try to suppress and avoid them. While they may appear rational and calm, prolonged emotional suppression can have adverse effects on their well-being.

Some people prefer to express their emotions directly, viewing them as a way to express their needs and gain attention. Others may want to manage their emotions, but may not always achieve the desired results.

It might be helpful to observe whether your husband shows signs of fatigue, helplessness, or a desire to hide when he faces pressure from others without complaining and retreats step by step. This could be an indication that he is constantly giving up his boundaries.

If that is the case, it is possible that he is attempting to regulate his emotions, yet he may still be experiencing distress and unease internally. In such a scenario, it might be beneficial for him to have someone he can rely on, with whom he can discuss his feelings or seek assistance.

If he is able to express his needs and maintain healthy boundaries while also taking care of himself and seeking support when needed, it could be an indication of emotional stability. Rather than compromising or sacrificing everything and everyone around him, he is also able to treat himself with kindness and respect.

Hello, I can tell from what you've said that you're communication-when-i-just-started-working-4495.html" target="_blank">concerned and unsure about your husband's approach and emotional state. First of all, I want to give you a hug and hope that my answer will be helpful to you.

Dealing with the constant reminders from family members is a test of patience. Your feelings are understandable, and this is a situation that many people encounter in life.

Your husband's choice to respond patiently, remain silent, or change the subject may be because he doesn't want to hurt his mother-in-law's feelings and wants to keep the family happy. This isn't necessarily a bad thing; it shows he cares about his family and respects his elders.

But in the long run, you'll be worried about how he's feeling. If he can't express his needs and feelings, it can lead to a build-up of stress and even inner dissatisfaction. Emotional stability isn't just about not showing negative emotions. It's also about being able to express and deal with them in a healthy way.

Communication is key to maintaining a healthy relationship, even within the family. It's important to be open and honest with each other. If he finds it difficult to express himself directly, he might want to think about using a more tactful way to raise his feelings.

For instance, he could talk to his mother-in-law privately when it's convenient to let her know that he appreciates her concern but also needs some personal space. He could say, "Mom, I know you care about us, but sometimes we really need some quiet time."

"Or he could talk it over with you to see if you can find a solution that works for both of you.

It's also a good idea for couples to have a support system, understand each other's pressure points, and discuss how to handle conflicts within the family. If you feel like this is an ongoing problem, you can work together to develop strategies, such as setting some boundaries or seeking external help if necessary, like marriage counseling or family counseling.

In general, emotional stability isn't about suppressing your feelings. It's about learning to manage and express them in a healthy way. If this approach is causing him stress, it's important to find a balance that respects his family while also taking care of his emotional needs.

I hope this helps. Have a great day!