My husband often eats with his parents, and I feel a bit uncomfortable about it.

Hello, question asker! I'm thrilled to meet you here.

Let's dive right in and go through what you said!

& Your in-laws live in a brand new apartment that you and your husband bought!

And this house is where your husband works out!

And now, your husband is even sleeping in your belongings!

And you and your mother take care of the children, which is great!

& For this behavior of your husband, you feel uncomfortable, and you pay half of the money earned to you. The reason is that you are only at ease and happy when there is money in your own account.

Questioner, after reading what you said, I feel a sense of blockage and discomfort. I also get the feeling you have an uncomfortable feeling, which is totally normal!

I've got a few questions for you!

First, I'd love to know when you bought your second house! And when did your mother-in-law start not getting along with your eldest daughter-in-law? Were they living under the same roof before?

It would be great if you could give me a clear timeline for these things!

Second, it's a shame it's missing from the child's growth process. You see, you get up at 9:00 and come back at 9:00 at night.

Third, I'd love to know how your husband is getting along with your mother!

Fourth, now that your grandparents have come over, it would be great if they could help you with the children, and it would be wonderful if your mother could go back to her hometown!

Questioner, if you want your husband to be close to you and your children, I have some great suggestions for you!

And here's another idea: let your mother live alone or go back to her hometown!

Your mother is having a hard time helping you with the children. Wouldn't it be great if you could give her a break? This way, the family will truly become a family of three! Otherwise, it feels like you are all living with your respective parents.

It's time for a change! It's not as easy to get along with your mother-in-law as with your own mother, and it's not as pleasant for you to get along with your own mother-in-law as with your own mother. But don't worry! In order to ask your husband to return to the family, you need to make changes yourself first.

And children need their father! You can try taking the children to your other house more often. If your mother really can't be separated from you, you can take the children there more often!

Because children absolutely love their dad's company! You're not living far away from each other, so there's no reason to deprive your husband of his time with the kids. I think you'll find this is a great solution!

& Create a world for two!

Now that both sets of parents are nearby, you don't need to worry about child-rearing! This means you can create more time for spending time together as a couple. How will you spend it? Perhaps you'll play sports outdoors, work out together in your apartment, or go out to eat. The possibilities are endless!

If he gives any reason for not wanting to go, you can gently but firmly reject it. That is, after marriage, you can continue to act like you're in love!

And there's nothing more welcoming than a family of three!

And there's more! The father needs children, and so do you and your spouse! The time you spend together as a family of three is also very precious.

This will greatly increase the interaction between you as a family, and it will strengthen your bond and affection for each other in the best way possible!

Okay, I'm me. I'm excited to hear from you! I hope my answer will provide you with a perspective and be useful to you.

It seems that the current issue is that you are experiencing some discomfort and unease. Your husband's behaviour may be perceived as somewhat puzzling. He leaves early in the morning and returns late at night, which means that he stays at his in-laws' place for a considerable length of time. This comparison of time lengths could potentially raise some suspicion.

It may seem as though he would prefer to spend time with his parents rather than with his wife and children, which could potentially reduce the time you can spend together as a family. Perhaps it would be helpful to discuss how to arrange his time.

♣ My husband often eats with his parents, which can make it difficult for you to feel comfortable.

It seems that his in-laws and his eldest son don't see eye to eye, and they've taken up residence with you.

♣The newly purchased apartment is for them to live in. Her husband also works.

It might be helpful to consider the role of the in-laws in this situation.

It might be helpful to consider the situation of the wife and children.

The general situation is that the apartment and home are not far apart, and in fact it is still possible to switch between them at will. Given that he has lunch with his parents and comes home late at night, perhaps you could consider asking him to come home for dinner in the future.

It might be helpful to consider expressing your attitude and expectations to him in a clear and constructive manner.

Could I ask what kind of life experience you're looking for?

It would be beneficial for both parties to work together to coordinate their schedules.

It may be the case that your little family feels dispensable, perhaps as a result of long-term neglect from the other party. It seems that your current communication is still okay, and you can also see that the other party still takes the initiative to pay you. Perhaps you just want more companionship?

Perhaps you would like to consider the possibility that you would prefer he not stay with his parents. This is also an avenue worth exploring, and it allows you the opportunity to actively think about what exactly you expect.

Perhaps you could consider allowing him more time to spend with you, or perhaps you have other plans in mind? It would undoubtedly be a positive reflection of his character if he were to spend time with his in-laws.

If you compare various relatives, you may find that it leads to some difficulties. We are all born of the same root, so it's understandable that we can sometimes feel a bit competitive with each other. We are all family, but it's worth noting that comparisons can sometimes lead to feelings of discomfort.

If it is an option for you, I would suggest that you consider receiving the necessary psychological counseling. It is important to recognize that change often requires a shift in mindset and perspective. It may be helpful to approach your family with a positive outlook and a willingness to engage in mutual understanding and hard work. I believe that with these steps, a thriving family dynamic is within reach.

Could I ask you a question, ZQ?

Hello.

The questioner is jealous.

Before your mother-in-law moved in, what time did your husband come home from work? He probably comes home much later now. This may be due to his work, but it may also be because he is spending time with his parents.

This is like dividing up the time that your former lover spent with you and your child. It will make the questioner doubt and suspect. You may feel that it is you, your child, your family, and your parents.

However, I take his kindness and dedication to you and the children to heart and am too embarrassed to ask anything or express my own views and needs in this matter.

But just because you don't say anything doesn't mean it won't affect you. Over time, you will pay more and more attention to it, which will affect your relationship with your spouse and in-laws.

Start by clarifying your needs and expectations. For example, what do you want your loved one to do?

I hope he spends more time with his kids after work and helps them with their studies.

I hope he will pay more attention to family matters and participate more.

Then you can express your needs and thoughts, pay more attention to his career, and participate in what he is doing. At the same time, you need to express your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes what comes out of this is not necessarily true.

I hope the questioner can see what their family looks like. First, you and your spouse marry and form a new family. Then the two of you plus your children are a small family. Then the parents of both sides belong to their original family.

The husband-and-wife relationship is the most important, followed by the parent-child relationship, and then the parents and relatives.

Greetings,

From your inquiries, it is evident that your husband frequently dines with his parents, devotes the majority of his leisure time to them, and exhibits a degree of neglect towards you and the children. I empathize with your situation.

From your description, it is evident that you are a highly understanding wife. Despite your husband's behavior, which has led to a certain level of dissatisfaction, you have demonstrated a high level of consideration for each other. You have recognized that your husband has faced significant challenges and has not demanded changes through aggressive actions. However, your concerns and emotions should not be overlooked. It is essential to explore ways to align your husband's behavior with your expectations.

In theory, following the marriage of a couple, the husband should have become independent from his biological family and formed a new family unit with his wife as the core. In this new family structure, the couple should be responsible for determining and implementing the ways in which they live their lives, their ideas about raising children, and other aspects of their lives that revolve around the two of them. This should be done through discussion.

However, it appears that your husband has not yet recognized this and has not established a clear delineation between his new family and his original family. He has been acting in a manner consistent with the role of a dependent child in his original family, which has led him to believe that there is no issue with remaining in the apartment and consistently eating with his parents instead of returning home to eat with his wife and children.

As the nexus between his original family and the new nuclear family, he bears the responsibility of reconciling the conflicts between his wife and his parents and of establishing boundaries for the nuclear family. It is, therefore, incumbent upon him to recognize that he is an adult and to transition from the role of a child to that of a husband in the new family structure. The relationship between husband and wife must be accorded priority over the parent-child relationship between him and his parents.

What is the optimal course of action in this situation? The following suggestions may prove beneficial:

One potential solution is to engage in an in-depth session of non-violent communication with your husband. The technique of non-violent communication is as follows:

The objective facts should be stated, the feelings expressed, suggestions made, and action requested.

For example, one might posit that the following statement would be an effective means of conveying one's feelings: "Despite the proximity of my parents' residence and the evident respect you hold for them, your frequent visits to theirs have resulted in a sense of neglect and grievance on the part of my child and myself."

It is my hope that you will come to recognize the necessity of a husband and father figure in our family unit and that you will be able to reasonably allocate your time and energy to our family of three. I would also be amenable to going home with you to visit my parents on weekends and holidays.

It is recommended that you read "Nonviolent Communication" and "The Art of Communication" in detail in order to gain proficiency in a more scientific approach to communication with your partner, enhance communication efficiency, and increase the probability of reaching consensus with your spouse.

I wish you the best of success.

Hello, question owner. I appreciate the opportunity to answer.

Your in-laws and your eldest daughter-in-law don't get along. You and your husband offered them the newly purchased apartment, even though it's not very far away. However, your husband spends most of his time with his parents in the apartment, which makes you feel uncomfortable. It's clear that communication has no effect.

It seems that you and your husband are both well-behaved, while your in-laws are difficult people who can't get along with your eldest daughter-in-law, so they've come to you. You and your husband, especially you, are relatively tolerant and reasonable. However, you must not keep on being accommodating to people who don't know their place. If you do, it will make you very angry and unhappy.

Your husband's behavior indicates that his parents lack understanding of boundaries and how to interact with their son and daughter-in-law. In this situation, it is essential for you to remain calm, think clearly, and have an open discussion with your husband about planning your life together.

Your problem is very complicated. Your mother is here with you and the children, and your in-laws are in the apartment with your husband, making it seem like you two are not married and don't have your own family. It's likely that neither of you has completely separated from your parents in your original family, and the fact that your parents live close to you is affecting the intimacy between you and your husband. I don't know how old the children are, or whether both sets of parents work and have hobbies.

First, discuss with your husband spending more time with your wife and children. You can also spend some time at the apartment with your husband, working out and eating together, and then go home together, occasionally bringing the children along. It is important to interact and communicate with your in-laws, even if it is difficult. They need to understand that your husband needs to spend more time with his own family, and that this needs their support. The child also needs to interact with his father in order to grow up healthily.

Your mother and your husband need to get along. If you make an effort to smooth things over between them, your husband will be willing to come home more often. It's also important to find some hobbies for your parents to occupy their time, so they don't control the children too much.

Arrange more activities for the family of three, such as spring outings, shopping trips, and trips abroad, to promote the integration of the young family. Family finances: The two people discuss and plan together, and it is acceptable for the money to be deposited in either account. The two people need to communicate.

You need to discuss with your husband how many days a week you will go back to your parents' house for dinner. You also need to discuss with your mother-in-law to give you and your husband some space.

You need wisdom to get along with the older generation. You can't just be nice all by yourself. You'll develop your own wisdom in life if you just try it slowly.