My husband said that if I think he's not presentable, we can get a divorce. Is he so petty-minded?

Hello, host!

From the description, I can feel the hostess's heart racing with excitement! It's obviously a trivial matter, so why is her husband being so fussy?

First of all, I'd love to know if the hostess has the same view of her marriage in the two different periods of time, before and after pregnancy!

In the description, the hostess said that she and her husband had met the principal and colleagues together, but in front of the students, she denied that she had a husband?

Oh my goodness, I just had the most thought-provoking idea! What if the hostess feels that she can't talk about relationships between the opposite sex in front of her third-grade child? But it's undeniable that third-grade children already know what a pregnant woman and a couple are!

So the hostess doesn't have to hide some of her thoughts from them, which is great!

The hostess made a bold move by refusing to hold hands with her husband in front of the students. She also made a bold statement by denying her relationship with her husband in front of the students. However, the hostess didn't stop there. She kept the excitement going by not explaining clearly to her husband afterwards and telling him the reason. I think at this moment, her husband felt a little uncomfortable.

Then, the hostess made the bold move of refusing to see her husband to the bus stop. This must have been a truly thrilling moment for her husband, who was probably filled with a whirlwind of emotions.

Now, let's change the perspective and imagine that the husband, in front of other people, lets go of the hostess's hand and tells her not to do it. What would the hostess think at that moment?

Since her husband is not answering her calls for the time being, she has the perfect opportunity to send him a text or WeChat message to tell him what she was thinking at the time. Then she can call him to discuss what they can do better next time they encounter this kind of situation.

Despite all this love and care, you don't get any recognition. It's so important to feel loved and appreciated, isn't it?

It's so important in a close relationship to make sure you both know where you stand. Being a loved one is a long-term commitment, and it's also a way of showing that you're married.

Having a clear identity is a great way to affirm your emotions. Let's imagine a different scenario. If you were in your partner's workplace and he was a single person who was reluctant to mention you, even when you were right there with him, how would you feel?

It's so important to remember that relationships can be strong and fragile at the same time. As time goes on, it's natural for both partners to start protecting themselves, but we can do this in a loving way without realising that we're slowly damaging the relationship.

What's hidden behind the 150 meters is the kind of care and explanation he needs. You can choose not to reveal his identity, but you can't forget without an explanation, sweetheart.

Every minute and every second that has passed has been a bit of a rollercoaster for him in the relationship he treasures.

He loves you so much, but he also feels like he's not good enough for you when problems come up. In your relationship, he's been in a weaker position, and when problems come up, he tends to blame himself.

I'm really sorry to say that this will lead to a negative development of the relationship.

I know you've tried your best, and that you've done everything you can. But it can feel like a bit of a helpless situation when you're facing a threat of divorce. I'm here to support you through this.

It's so hard to know how to exist sometimes. We all want to avoid hurting other people's feelings, but sometimes it's unavoidable.

It's totally normal to feel petty in a relationship. It's all about cherishing the relationship, especially during pregnancy, when these emotions seem even more precious.

Love can be blind, but marriage cannot. It's so important to remember that in a marriage, it's not enough to rely on just one person's efforts and maintenance. We all have to stick together and support each other through the ups and downs of life. After all, the trivialities of life can easily break down even the strongest relationships.

It's so easy for misunderstandings to arise in a relationship when there's a lack of open communication. But when this happens, it's so important to talk things through and seek guidance.

Everyone has their good and bad sides. If you love each other, you have to accept the other person in their entirety. We don't get involved in a relationship to be judged and reformed, but rather to build together an emotional bond that can withstand the storms of life. And that's a beautiful thing!

Hello, topic author. Your words are like seeing your face!

After reading your post and the whole story of the incident that caused the conflict with your husband, I can see that you are very sensitive during pregnancy and notice every detail. I have some ideas from a different perspective that I think you'll find helpful.

Your husband's willingness to help you test for formaldehyde demonstrates his deep care and love for you. Holding hands is an intimate and caring gesture. However, there are two aspects of this incident that may be interpreted differently by an outsider.

1. About holding hands in front of the children: You are a teacher, and you have every right to show affection in front of the children. They are still young, and it is not inappropriate. Your husband may think that you are unwilling to admit our relationship openly in front of others, but that is not the case.

2. About whether to see him to the bus stop: You're afraid of being late, and he's still in emotional turmoil from the first incident. He thinks your unwillingness to see him off is a continuation of that, so he doesn't answer the phone.

It's clear that you haven't fully communicated with each other about your thoughts, no matter what the idea is.

Second, I see from your use of "my" and "your" that you have referred to each other as "husband" and "boyfriend." I don't know if this is a typo or if you have not yet fully transitioned from boyfriend and girlfriend to husband and wife. From the way you express your dissatisfaction with each other, I see that you still have some expressions of a man and woman in love.

You are now pregnant, and it is crucial to protect your emotions as you take care of your body. Your husband and you may need to improve your communication skills. Use words, actions, or gifts to do this.

Once you're married, there's no winner or loser in a relationship. It's all about win-win or lose-lose. Whoever takes the first step, make sure the other person understands your intentions.

I am certain that you will reconcile soon!

Thanks for the invite.

The host's question is hard to answer. Tell the truth. I'm afraid the host will be hurt, but if I don't tell the truth, there's no point in answering.

The original poster asked a serious question and offered a reward of ten yuan. I decided to give honest feedback.

As a man, I'm biased. Please forgive me if I'm wrong. Just consider my answer from a different perspective.

You always refer to your husband, but only when the phone was out of order did you refer to your boyfriend. You didn't let your husband hold your hand at school.

Then your husband doesn't answer your calls and sends you a message at night saying he's hurt and that if he can't hold your hand, you can divorce him. Ask him why he's hurt and why he said that.

You're not sure why he's acting this way.

He may feel he's making a big deal. But it's because you didn't let him hold hands at school.

It could also be because you don't walk him to the bus stop, which is only 150 meters away. But he said, "You don't think I can hold hands," so we assume he reacted more because you didn't let him hold hands at school.

You started calling him your boyfriend when you couldn't get through to him on the phone.

So I have a hypothesis. Are you unsure about this relationship?

You're unsure about changing your relationship from boyfriend-girlfriend to marriage. Maybe you're just shy.

You mistyped "boyfriend." It's possible.

I'm just offering a thought. If you do have some hesitation,

Your husband's reaction may be about your attitude, not just the things you did.

The above views are based on the little information you have provided. They are just my thoughts.

I'm sorry if I offended you. I wish the couple a happy relationship, success in their careers, and good health for their future baby.

I teach in an elementary school and am currently five months pregnant. Last week, I used a formaldehyde detector in the teacher's apartment where I live to test for formaldehyde. My husband was very worried, so this Monday he took leave and brought a new formaldehyde detector with him to the school to test for formaldehyde with me. In the morning, we went to the school together, where I met the principal and colleagues. I went to class while he tested for formaldehyde in the house and tidied up the room. I sent him back at noon, and on the way downstairs I saw the students from my class playing in the playground. They were only in third grade, so I asked my husband not to hold my hand so they wouldn't see us. My husband let go of my hand, and at that moment a student ran up to him holding something and said, "This is for my husband." I looked at it and smiled, saying, "I don't have a husband, I have a boyfriend," and didn't take it. When we got to the school gate, my husband asked me to walk him to the bus stop (150 meters from the school gate). I told him I was afraid of being late for class, so I didn't walk him to the bus stop. Then in the afternoon, my boyfriend's phone was unreachable, and he didn't answer my calls. In the evening, he sent

Hello, host. I sense that you may be feeling a bit frustrated and disappointed when you say that your husband is acting in a petty manner.

He is hopeful that you will be able to see his love.

Your husband is concerned about the formaldehyde content possibly exceeding the standard. He is also concerned about your health and that of the children.

So he decided to run a formaldehyde test and clean the house.

He would like to express his grievances and sadness, and it seems that there may be an underlying expectation behind the anger.

I believe that your husband cares deeply about this intimate relationship.

Your actions may inadvertently make your husband feel that he is not being recognized in the relationship, that you don't care, and that there is no respect.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider your husband's sadness.

It seems that you have accused your husband.

I hope you don't mind my asking, but I'm curious:

1. Could you please explain why you said in front of elementary school students that you don't have a husband or boyfriend?

2. Could you please clarify why you lied to the elementary school student?

3. I wonder if it might be helpful to consider why a man would say "divorce" over two seemingly trivial matters. It's possible that this could create the impression that the issue is not caused by this one thing.

4. I must admit that I didn't quite perceive your sadness, but rather a certain anger, resentment, and accusations that he should not have done this.

5. Could you please share what kind of reaction you expect him to have when something like this happens to him?

Dear Question Asker,

I extend my congratulations to you and your partner on the forthcoming birth of your child.

You have documented several instances of testing the formaldehyde content to ascertain whether it exceeds acceptable levels. The details indicate that your partner is highly attentive to your needs. He does not exhibit the characteristics of a chauvinist, which is a positive attribute.

You believe that it is not appropriate for your students to see you holding hands with your husband, due to concerns about how it might affect them. You can ask yourself, what are you really worried about?

As an educator, it is imperative to instill a sense of love and positivity in your students. If they observe a happy and loving family dynamic within the classroom, it can foster a deeper understanding of love and compassion. It is important to recognize that not every child is fortunate enough to have a nurturing family environment.

At this juncture, the teacher serves as a role model for the child, providing a sense of stability and fulfillment.

"In the afternoon, I was unable to reach my boyfriend via telephone." It appears that you are uncertain about his identity and are experiencing a sense of ambivalence regarding your relationship with your husband and your boyfriend.

It is likely that your partner feels insecure and does not feel loved in return.

He conveyed his feelings in a forthright manner, indicating that he was hurt.

"Many people have commented that my husband is a coward." You used the word "many" at the end, but if you do the same in real life, it will create an unnecessary burden for him in terms of public opinion.

Additionally, it indicates that you may be the more dominant partner in the relationship and prefer to make decisions.

In today's world of gender equality, it is advisable to allow your husband some space, engage in open dialogue, and empower him to make decisions together. This approach will foster a more harmonious relationship.

A relationship in which one party exercises undue control over the other will have a detrimental effect on the future development of the child.

Inquire of yourself whether you love him. If the answer is in the affirmative,

Then, continue to ask yourself, "How should I love him?" It is important to note that love is not about loving in a way that makes you feel good.

It is an act of altruism and empathy.

Best regards,

Hello, dear.

I totally get how you feel, and I also understand how your boyfriend feels.

In the middle of all this, when your student wanted to give a gift to your lover, you were really thoughtful and didn't accept it. You even told your student that you didn't have a boyfriend or husband, and that when your husband left, you had hoped that you could give him a send-off. It wasn't far, just a few steps away, but you also rejected his goodwill and request because you were worried about being late or affecting the student.

I can see how your boyfriend might feel dispensable throughout this whole process. It's so hard when we feel like we're not good enough, and you feel like you can't show him off or put him on the table. It's natural to want to draw a line and refuse his existence and the relationship with her, but it might make him feel particularly insecure.

And he even took special leave because he was worried about you! He bought the formaldehyde testing agent and then communicated with your colleagues and leaders at your school. Well, then, if you treat him like this, he'll feel like his good intentions and enthusiasm have been poured cold water on. This contrast may make him feel that he's not valued in the relationship, which I'm sure he isn't!

After he went back, he didn't answer your calls and even asked for a separation or even a divorce. It can feel like he's making a big deal out of nothing and being unreasonable, which is totally understandable! It's clear that you and he have different feelings about this whole situation. It's like he's not taking his own feelings seriously, and you're not taking his feelings seriously either. This can be really hurtful, especially if you're both at an impasse. If this is the case, it might be helpful to seek outside support to help you both navigate this challenge.

First, let's talk about how grateful you are for everything he's done for you. You can tell him you'll chat with him later about the test results, whether it's safe or not. You can also tell him about your own thoughts and feelings, just as you described them. You're worried that if your students find out, you won't feel comfortable holding hands with your lover in front of them, or even introducing him as your boyfriend or lover.

It's understandable! They're just kids, and they're processing a lot of information. They're learning about relationships and love, and they're trying to make sense of it all. It's natural for them to have these feelings and to process them in ways that might not align with what we adults think is appropriate. I can see how you're trying to navigate this tricky situation. You have a lot of concerns, and it's clear that you're dedicated to doing your job well. You're serious and responsible, and you care deeply about your students. But at the same time, you've overlooked the feelings of your loved one.

I totally get where you're coming from. You're trying to set a good example for the students, and I admire that. But, your actions might come across as a bit constrained and not very open-minded. The students are just in the third grade, but they know everything! They know that the father is the mother's lover, that you have a boyfriend or husband, that you're pregnant, and that you're having a baby. They know it all!

It's totally okay to talk about these things! In fact, the more you avoid them, the more curious the students will become. They'll start to wonder, "Why did the teacher lie to us? What did she say would happen?"

It'll think in this direction on its own. We can just be open about it, including all aspects of the child's education. There may be some sex education in there, and we won't hide it anymore, as we did before. Anyway, it should be used as a course that can be taught in class. Just tell them, and do a good job of popularizing it. On the contrary, for children, it is a better protection and a force of example.

I truly believe that if you can handle your concerns in this area, then these problems will surely not occur in the future. Just as you will no longer refuse or try to avoid being with your loved one, you will be more generous and natural when walking together to see her off or whatever. You will no longer deliberately try to avoid it or whatever.

Of course, in front of students, it's probably best to avoid some overly intimate behavior. This is something you should pay attention to, such as holding hands, hugging, and so on. Well, you should still pay attention to it, my friend.

I truly believe that as long as you can see your loved one's needs, respect her feelings, and be willing to give her a response and explanation, while also telling her your thoughts and some of your needs, and also telling her what you want her to do, and also listening to what she expects from you, this will have a wonderful, positive effect on the relationship and really bring you two closer together.

Of course, when problems arise, it's always best to communicate effectively. If you immediately bring up the idea of breaking up or getting a divorce, it might hurt the other person. You can tell him how you feel, and that's totally okay!

Life is full of pain because of the many standards and the many things that don't go as we want. Your recent experiences have shown you that you are not satisfied with your current life. You are pregnant, but you told other students that you don't have a husband.

You already have a five-month-old baby bump, but you don't want your classmates to know. You may not want to give your students sex education or reveal your relationship status. Talk to your husband about it.

Your husband may come across as a small-minded person who exaggerates everything and lacks a gentleman's breadth of mind, which is likely the root of the problem. Take a moment to calm down and think about why he's angry.

You met with the principal and colleagues to clean the room and prepare to make repairs to your shared home. The student showed goodwill, but you rejected it. Likewise, you rejected your husband's request. The other person may have overthought things, and you didn't explain in time.

You can now explain why you told the student you don't have a husband. You can also explain that you were in a hurry and couldn't see him off. He felt aggrieved, and if you call him petty-minded, he'll be even more angry. Explain patiently and as much as possible. You and your husband still need to be more tolerant of each other to make the relationship last. Good luck!

ZQ?

Hello, I would like to offer some thoughts on your situation, as I have experienced something similar and hope that my words might be of some help to you.

First of all, I would like to extend my heartfelt congratulations to you on becoming a mother-to-be. Soon, a child who cares about and accompanies you will be by your side.

From what I understand, he expressed some concerns to the unit leaders and colleagues, and he also took the parent-child test for formaldehyde. It seems that he still cares about you very much. He also cares about your views and thoughts about him, to the point where he is not calm enough to understand your current mood.

It's not uncommon for gay men to have difficulty expressing themselves and sometimes not to think things through fully. This can result in them overlooking your feelings as a pregnant woman due to their own emotions. The father of your child also needs to mature a bit, but he cares about you very much. I believe that things will improve with time.

Additionally, there were a few missteps in the situation. For instance, the gift was not accepted in front of the students, and the affirmation was not given in a timely manner. This may have led to a lack of respect, which could have caused hurt feelings. The situation was further complicated by the fact that the individual in question was in a very sad mood and may not have fully analyzed the problem.

It's important to remember that problems are normal in any marriage. The key to resolving them is open communication and understanding. A marriage is a partnership, and like any business, it requires ongoing communication and mutual respect to thrive.

It's not as straightforward as that. It would be helpful if you could both calm down and try to avoid pointing the finger at each other, as this won't help resolve things.

It is not common for husbands and wives to hold a grudge overnight. If they are able to calm down, they can talk calmly.

Hello, I'm Lin Yile. From what you've said, it seems like you think this is a minor issue, but your husband is feeling pretty hurt. It's clear that you're a bit unsure of how to handle the situation.

The formaldehyde detector kit used to test the teacher's apartment may have shown excessive formaldehyde due to an operating error. At this time, your husband was very worried and asked for Monday off. When you went to class with the newly purchased formaldehyde detector kit, he was in the house measuring formaldehyde and cleaning up. This shows that your husband cares about you and hopes that you and the baby will have a good living environment. He cares a lot about your relationship.

You dropped him off at noon, and on the way downstairs, you saw some third-year students from his class playing on the playground. They were holding something and said it was for my husband. [At this point, your husband may have been surprised to be seen by your students. Everyone wants to feel valued, and you ignored his feelings. Put yourself in his shoes for a moment. He's the teacher, you're the family member. How would you feel if you were directly denied? At this point, he may already be emotional and needs to be reassured. He wants you to value him.

When we got to the school gate, he asked me to walk him to the bus stop (about 150 meters away). He seemed a bit upset. You told him you were worried about being marked late for class, but he didn't understand. At the time, he just wanted to show you that he was important to him. What do you think?

It's important for people to understand each other and build intimacy. Both sides need to be seen by the other. It's not petty to say that you are very important to him, and it's not generous for him to want to do things without involving you. It doesn't seem to be the case, does it?

Here's some advice: The success of a marriage depends on the ability of both partners to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts.

(1) When you're communicating, it's more important to listen than to talk.

(2) Acceptance: It doesn't matter if the other person is right or wrong, don't jump in to argue or correct them. Try to understand what they're really feeling, so they're more open to listening to you.

(3) Clarification: This can help avoid any misunderstandings caused by mishearing. (Just like what is happening now, you both care about each other very much.)

There are plenty of other ways to get along as a couple. I suggest reading two books: "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" and "Intimacy." You'll learn a lot from them, and I hope they'll be helpful. I hope the baby is healthy and that you have a happy, loving marriage.

Dear question asker,

I have taken the time to carefully read your question. I empathize with you, as I understand that conflicts with your husband during your pregnancy can be uncomfortable. I encourage you to try not to dwell on the situation and let it affect your mood. I have the following feelings and suggestions regarding the situation you described.

First, conflicts arise because of different perspectives. I heard a story about a father and daughter who had never gotten along well. Once, when the daughter started school, the father wanted to drive her there himself. As they drove along a road with a stream on either side, the daughter said, "Wow, the stream is so clear and beautiful!" But the father said, "It's just a nasty ditch full of rubbish, what's so good about it?" The daughter and father argued the whole way, and it was an unhappy memory.

However, the following year, when my daughter drove by herself on that road, she came to understand that her father's perspective was indeed valid, as the river on the other side was unfortunately filled with trash.

*

I believe that neither you nor your husband is at fault. It seems that at the time, you both had different perspectives, and both of you were perhaps a little stubborn in sticking to your own views. He felt that you didn't value him, and you felt that he couldn't empathise with you. Perhaps you were both a little focused on your own needs, which led to some misunderstandings.

Secondly, the effectiveness of communication can impact intimacy. It might be helpful to reflect on instances in our lives where communication has been challenging. Couples may experience conflict when there is a lack of alignment in communication styles, and friends may misunderstand each other and stop communicating if there are communication breakdowns.

Communication is a vital aspect of human survival and plays a significant role in shaping intimate relationships.

It seems that the current disagreement between you and your husband may be due to a lack of timely and accurate communication. It's understandable that you don't want your own life to affect your child's values, but it's possible that because you didn't express your intentions to your husband in advance or as soon as it happened, he has had a lot of negative thoughts. Sometimes we can't see the essence of a relationship, thinking that if we are so close, we should know each other's thoughts. However, many misunderstandings and conflicts arise from mutual suspicion. If you don't say something, the other person really may not know.

Thirdly, it would be beneficial to resolve conflicts through effective communication. Many of us may not fully understand the nature of communication or possess the necessary skills to do so, which can result in ineffective communication. Poor communication can potentially lead to blocked relationships and, subsequently, affect emotions.

It would be beneficial for you both to speak openly and honestly about your feelings in order to find a solution.

*

From your description, it seems that your husband cares about you very much and may lack a stable sense of security in your relationship. His way of communicating could perhaps be improved. When he has negative emotions, instead of expressing his inner discomfort accurately, he uses words like divorce, which are more hurtful. Therefore, you might like to consider changing your way of communicating, motivating him to make changes, guiding both parties to accurately express any points of discomfort, and proposing suggestions for improvement.

*

It is not uncommon for negative emotions to develop during pregnancy. It is therefore important to communicate effectively during this stage. As long as both parties love and care for each other and speak clearly, this should not be an issue.

My name is Cici Ai, and I am an individual who draws inspiration from the wisdom of psychology. I sincerely hope that my sharing can provide you with some assistance, and I wish you all the best in maintaining a positive outlook each day.

Hugging the host, this should be considered a sweet little burden, right? Judging from what the host wrote, to be honest, I was grinning from ear to ear the whole time!

From what I can see in this text, it's clear that your love/reunited-with-my-current-husband-in-a-remarried-blended-family-hoping-for-a-happy-and-fulfilling-life-what-should-i-do-5686.html" target="_blank">husband cares about you a great deal.

"My husband is feeling a bit concerned at the moment, so I thought I'd take the day off on Monday."

"He was busy indoors, measuring formaldehyde and tidying up the house."

"I just asked my sweet husband not to hold my hand."

Oh, what a good man! It might be because he cares too much, so some of your actions here have made him feel a little hurt.

When he saw his classmate, he gently let go of his hand.

The classmate gave him a gift and said he didn't have a husband.

And he didn't even get to see him off at the station!

Men, they just need a little love and a little face time. If he feels like you're trying to hide his identity, he might feel a bit uncomfortable.

The OP can take a moment to think about why she did that at the time. What was the reason behind it?

Then, just be honest with your husband about what you're thinking.

He loves you so much, he'll totally understand.

Intimacy can sometimes be a bit confusing because there are things we're not always comfortable sharing, and there's so much love to express!

I'm sure your relationship is great! It's so important to express your love for each other more and to be considerate and understanding of each other.

It's so important to manage the relationship between husband and wife, especially when you have a little one on the way!

It's so important to remember that if all the mother's attention is focused on the child, the father will also feel a sense of loss.

You two are going to be together forever, so it's really important to make sure you're on the same page.

If you go to your husband's workplace and he doesn't take the initiative to introduce you to his colleagues, it might be helpful to try looking at the problem from a different perspective.

I totally get it. Wouldn't you feel a little uncomfortable too?

It's so important to understand each other, always think from each other's perspective, and have a good, honest chat with your husband when you get home. I really believe that everything will get better!

I really do hope that the expectant mother and father-to-be have a happy marriage and a harmonious family!