My roommate at university is acting weird with me. Does she not like the fact that I am doing well?

Good morning, my name is Bai Li Yina and I hope my response will be helpful to you.

The questioner stated that she had tried out some cosmetics as a beauty blogger and given them to her roommates as a gift. The gift was made with the best of intentions, and she did not anticipate being met with criticism from one of her roommates. When she felt attacked, she experienced feelings of depression and frustration, but she did not respond. She is seeking guidance on how to interact more effectively with this individual.

[Situation analysis]

Your decision to become a beauty blogger during the pandemic demonstrates your ability to pursue your goals independently and take action. You experienced your roommate's unfriendliness when she made malicious comments about your intentions, but you were unsure how to respond. Let's examine the situation further.

[Thought-provoking questions]

1. As a beauty blogger, you inevitably encountered some malicious comments. How did you respond emotionally and react at the time?

2. Do you inquire as to whether your roommate would like the item you are offering before providing it to them?

3. Prior to becoming a beauty blogger, was this eccentric roommate friendly towards you? Was this speaking style always exhibited by her, or did it become apparent after you began blogging?

4. How have you previously responded to individuals who have made you feel uncomfortable? Would you choose to avoid such individuals or engage with them directly?

5. What are your concerns regarding the past? What are your thoughts on this matter?

We recommend the following methods for your consideration:

Each of us has our own principles for how to behave and deal with people. It's not about right or wrong, but about doing what you want to do and what you can do. Sometimes your heart knows a lot of truths, but not much can actually be done. The key to a breakthrough is to identify the underlying reason preventing you from taking action.

Please describe your perception of and approach to individuals who elicit a negative emotional response. What is your interpretation of her behavior?

Does she display indications of envy and jealousy? Have you done something that she desires to do but is too afraid to attempt?

Trust your instincts and your judgment. If you were to be given another chance, what would you want to say to her to address this uncomfortable response?

If you believe that responding in kind is an effective way to halt the envy and jealousy, and to foster a sense of ease, you may choose to engage in a discussion at any time. Prior to presenting your gift, you may inquire with the two friendly roommates to ascertain their thoughts and feelings, expressing your goodwill and intentions from the bottom of your heart. Sincerity is always a key element in such interactions.

It is possible to ascertain whether your unusual roommate displays this attitude towards all things she envies. If so, she is not a suitable candidate for your friendship. Since you do not like her, you have the option of ignoring her and staying away from her, or attempting to silence her by engaging in conflict. The response you receive from the other person will be different depending on the approach you take. There is no absolutely good or absolutely bad way. It depends on which approach you prefer and which one you can achieve.

For individuals you care about, those who demonstrate kindness, and potential friends, you can prioritize attention and care. For individuals you dislike, you can attempt to disregard their presence in your thoughts, as there is often a significant amount of malice in the world. If you dwell on these individuals, you may experience negative consequences. It is crucial to learn to detach and ignore, and you can utilize this individual as a case study.

Ultimately, it is up to you to decide which approach is best. The above methods are intended to provide guidance.

Please be aware that change takes time and patience. There is no need to worry or be afraid. Many people are experiencing or have experienced similar problems, so you are not alone.

I am here to support you. You are not alone. I wish you a speedy resolution to the challenges you are facing and the ability to find your own most comfortable state.

I would like to express my gratitude to those who have liked and commented on my posts. I wish you peace and joy.

I would like to express my gratitude to the author of this topic for sharing their insights with me.

From your description, I can discern a sense of inner grievance, anger, and confusion. I extend my support and encouragement to you.

Let us engage in a discussion on this subject.

1. Perception of the Other Person's Emotions

The other person's behavior can be understood as a manifestation of envy and jealousy. They may aspire to achieve a certain level of ability and popularity, but feel they are currently unable to do so. This is likely due to an internalized sense of inferiority and fear of being perceived as such by others, including you. Consequently, they resort to employing a "weird" manner of speaking as a means of appearing comparable to you, with the aim of enhancing their own image.

The adage "the more menacing the appearance, the more fragile the inside" offers a compelling perspective when considering the nuances of an individual's behavior. When such behavior is explained in this light, it becomes possible to comprehend the underlying complexities while still acknowledging its impact on the observer.

2. Perception of Emotions

The subject displays a perplexing emotional state, manifesting as a desire to engage in a verbal altercation. Despite having taken the initiative to empathize with the perspective of their roommate, the subject remains unsatisfied with the lack of recognition and response they have received. They experience a sense of disappointment and perceive their roommate's statements as contradictory. While they are reluctant to engage in a conflict, they also perceive their roommate's actions as ungrateful.

It is important to note that despite the unfortunate circumstances, it is not advisable to terminate the roommate relationship. It is evident that neither party has acted inappropriately; the actions in question were merely the result of well-intentioned sharing. However, it is understandable that feelings of frustration and disappointment may arise when one perceives that their actions are being misinterpreted.

It is important to acknowledge and accept one's own feelings of disappointment, anger, and frustration when they arise. It is crucial to recognize that these emotions are not the result of any personal shortcomings. While it is natural to express these feelings, suppressing them can lead to misunderstandings and further distance between roommates.

3. It is imperative to consistently express one's emotional feelings.

"Your recent remarks have elicited a certain degree of indignation on my part. I am motivated by benevolent intentions in offering these cosmetics for your consideration. Based on my personal assessment, the act of merely trying them out has not yielded significant results.

Should you experience discomfort, you are under no obligation to proceed. It is my sincere hope that you will be able to express yourself in an honest manner. It is important to note that this process may evoke a certain level of emotional distress.

"Should you encounter an individual in the future with whom you can establish a connection, and I possess insights to share, you are welcome to inquire further." "You previously indicated a lack of knowledge regarding the application of makeup. Should you be interested in acquiring this skill, you are encouraged to seek my guidance, and I will be pleased to provide instruction."

"Expressing one's emotions in this manner, opening up and using sincerity, may dispel concerns and facilitate emotional openness. However, if the other person continues to be unresponsive, it may be necessary to set boundaries and prioritize self-care."

It is imperative to consistently express one's emotional feelings and to refrain from allowing oneself to become emotionally injured.

It is my sincere hope that this response will prove beneficial to you, and I wish you the utmost success.

Hello, I am Jia Peng, a student. Let's communicate with each other. I would like to give you a hug.

It is inevitable that there will always be people in this world who don't like you. I used to think that I had to maintain good relationships with everyone, but I quickly realized that was a waste of my time. I was tired of other people ignoring me and passing all incidents onto me because they saw that I was easy to bully.

After filming the video, you can share the product with your roommates. This is your issue, and you get to decide whether to share it or keep it for yourself. And after sharing the product with your roommates, whether they like it or not is their issue.

If you use the product after receiving it and the other person says something bad about you in return, it will interfere with the topic and a conflict will arise.

Show appropriate anger. If that roommate has been doing this all the time, and you think her words really hurt and bother you, you must stay away from it as much as possible.

If you feel you've reached your limit, pick up the conversation and argue back. Show her you're angry and establish your boundaries. Then, focus on the positive. Enjoy the products and videos.

Read "The Courage to Be Disliked" for practical advice and tips. My suggestions will help you. Best of luck!

I'd like to discuss this topic with you.

First, talk about boundaries. Know the boundaries of others and your own.

We don't have to accept everything about our roommate. We can accept the parts of her that make us comfortable. Similarly, we can't expect our roommates to buy into all of our demands. We can try to get along in a mutually suitable area. The differences between people determine that the overlapping parts of each roommate are different, which is also the boundary of our student relationships.

Sometimes we don't want to offend others, sometimes we don't want to damage relationships, sometimes we avoid potential risks, and sometimes we feel that we are "overthinking" and "making a big deal out of nothing," ignoring signals that our boundaries are being violated. We must establish and maintain our own boundaries and protect ourselves.

My roommate in college is acting weirdly towards me. She clearly doesn't like the way I am.

Ask yourself what you think and how you feel when you hear your roommate's strange words.

We must ask ourselves what we would say and what would happen if we were to argue back at the time to some of the things our roommate said.

Don't rely on others. You can't control what they say or do. Don't expect them to know how to behave. Take the initiative to set your own boundaries and speak up when you're uncomfortable. If necessary, use warning words and methods.

We must have an honest conversation with our roommate. We need to express our discomfort, especially with some of the strange language, which we cannot accept. We expect her to make promises and changes. At the same time, we express the value we place on the friendship between classmates, and listen to her views and expectations of us.

This kind of communication is an effective way to release your emotions and clearly inform the other person of what needs to be done.

Let's talk about emotions again. Emotions are composed of unique subjective experiences, external manifestations, and physiological arousal. Each emotion may be an unmet internal demand. When we miss the opportunity for a promotion or pay rise, we feel sad; when we lose a treasured possession we have had for many years, we feel angry.

We must ask ourselves, "What is my roommate's inner need for being so strange to me?"

We must ask ourselves: What is it about ourselves that needs to share our products with our roommates? What is it about ourselves that needs to ask our roommates to make a video?

We must also ask ourselves what our ideal roommate relationship is like and what our real needs are.

Knowing what you want allows you to distinguish between what you want and what others want you to want.

Knowing what you want helps you understand what you need to reject. Rejecting these thoughts will lead you to a state of truth.

Seek help if you need it. It's not easy to overcome these things immediately. Find a family member or friend you trust and talk to them. If you need more support, find a counselor. It's important to have an outlet for your emotions.

Affirm yourself, empower yourself, enrich your knowledge, and enrich your inner being. When your core is strong, you will confidently make choices and face them with confidence.

Read "Nonviolent Communication."

Greetings.

Due to the ongoing pandemic, there has been an increase in the availability of online learning opportunities. You are currently pursuing your studies while simultaneously managing a career as a beauty and fashion blogger.

You have demonstrated the ability to successfully operate a business for a period of two years, which is a commendable achievement. Many college students embark on entrepreneurial endeavors.

You initiated your own business venture while still in school. You are highly competent, driven, diligent, and an exemplary entrepreneur.

Following the completion of the filming process, the makeup was distributed among the roommates, who expressed satisfaction and acceptance. However, one individual commented, "It seems that, now that you are a blogger, you are offering us items you no longer require. You are very kind." The tone of this remark was resentful and suggestive of envy.

Furthermore, the roommates, who are content to accept your benevolence, will also be discomfited.

In the aforementioned makeup video, you inquired of your roommates as to their assessment of your appearance. They responded in a forthright manner, offering honest feedback on your appearance. One roommate, for instance, commented that you were "so lucky" and that your makeup skills were "so good," likening your appearance to that of a "face-lift." This roommate's words were imbued with a discernible sarcasm.

Her envy also indicates that you are significantly more proficient than she is, that she considers you to be especially talented, and that she is unable to match your abilities.

It is evident that individuals possess distinctive characteristics shaped by their unique family backgrounds and upbringing. These experiences contribute to the diversity observed in human behavior.

Your roommate displays a proclivity for envy. A search on Baidu revealed that the term "envy" denotes a sentiment of resentment towards an individual who possesses superior capabilities.

It is my understanding that she is inclined to compare herself with others and is unable to accept that she is inferior to them. As a result, she is experiencing a profound sense of loss due to her inability to acknowledge the significant disparity in your respective abilities.

She believes that the discrepancy between her abilities and yours is too significant to be bridged through effort alone. Consequently, rather than seeking to gain insights from you, she expresses her feelings in a highly negative manner.

This is the reason for their peculiar mode of speech.

The other two roommates are amenable to your overtures of goodwill and will proffer guidance and assistance with alacrity. This roommate, however, is innately more jealous, which may be related to the habits she developed from her upbringing.

It is important to accept the differences between people. It is fortunate that this individual is in your dormitory, where they can exist as an independent entity.

Fortunately, the other two roommates are still very friendly. It is not possible to alter a person's habits and way of speaking.

It is therefore necessary to find ways of distancing oneself from this individual and protecting oneself from harm.

The nature of relationships between people can be likened to those between classmates and colleagues, encompassing elements of competition, cooperation, and the role of a bystander. The mere fact of residing in a dormitory does not necessarily imply the potential for developing a cooperative and amicable relationship.

People with a connection, people with common interests, and people who appreciate each other can come together and form a friendship. Human society is characterized by comparisons between individuals. Moreover, people often aspire to excel beyond the achievements of their peers.

Upon realizing that another individual possesses superior qualities, they may experience a sense of loss. It is acknowledged that a proportion of the population will exhibit such behavior, and that this is not an isolated occurrence.

In the future, you will encounter individuals who exhibit pronounced jealousy. It may be beneficial to initially disregard the opinions of such individuals. It is also advisable to focus on one's own thoughts and emotions, to accept oneself despite external criticism, and to cultivate a series of internal protective responses to safeguard one's physical and mental well-being.

One must simply adhere to one's authentic self and allow one's own endeavors to distinguish one as exceptional.

The world and I have positive regard for you, and you should have positive regard for yourself as well.

Hello, question asker! I can tell you're upset and confused.

Your college roommate acting weird around you does not necessarily mean he's jealous of you. While jealousy may be one reason some people act unkindly, there are many other possible explanations.

Your roommate's behavior and emotions are affected by many factors, including their personal experiences, personality traits, and life pressures. It's likely that your roommate is experiencing some problems that have nothing to do with you, causing him to be emotionally unstable or behave abnormally.

Second, it's likely that there's a misunderstanding or miscommunication between you. This has likely caused him to feel resentment or misunderstanding towards you. You need to communicate with him honestly to understand his thoughts and feelings. This will help you resolve the problem.

If your roommate is jealous of you, you need to deal with the situation. Remain calm and rational, ignore his words and actions, and defuse his jealousy with positive actions and a friendly attitude.

You need to understand why your roommate behaves the way he does. The best way to do so is to communicate directly with him and understand his true thoughts and feelings. At the same time, keep an open and tolerant mind to better handle the relationship between roommates.

You must decide whether it is necessary to continue being kind to those who are always unkind to you. This is a personal choice, and there is no one right answer.

I'll give you some suggestions to help you think about this.

Kindness is a wonderful quality that helps build positive relationships and makes you and those around you happier and more content. However, if you always remain kind to people who are unkind to you, it will leave you feeling tired, frustrated, or hurt.

You must decide whether it's worth continuing.

Second, you must recognize your own value and dignity. No matter how others treat you, you deserve to value yourself and stand up for yourself.

If someone is always unkind to you, communicate with them. Let them know how you feel and see if you can resolve the problem. If they are unwilling to change, distance yourself from them. Protect your emotional and mental health.

Kindness does not mean you have to tolerate all unkindness. In some cases, you must firmly express your thoughts and feelings and take appropriate action to protect yourself.

This does not mean becoming indifferent or cruel. It means maintaining respect and kindness towards others while defending your own rights and interests.

You must decide for yourself whether you want to continue being kind to someone who is unkind to you. What is important is that you value your own worth and dignity and take appropriate action to protect your emotional and psychological well-being.

Hello, questioner. I can see you're feeling confused, and I'm here to give you a big hug!

Reading your question, I feel like you need to separate the issues.

Just as there are only three things in the world: your own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of heaven.

I'm so glad you asked that question! The above idea comes from the book A Change of Heart.

It's totally up to you how you distribute the products you use for filming.

It can be really frustrating when your roommates react to you giving them products by saying it's their problem.

Oh, it's just one roommate who speaks to you in a strange way.

If this is the case, I'd love to know what you think you should do!

One way you could try is to stop giving her the products you use to make videos.

And when she asks you, you can just tell her what you were thinking about her earlier, sweetie.

When you're chatting with her, it's a great idea to use the "I" language as much as you can, rather than starting with "you."

You can also use the methods in the book (Nonviolent Communication). I really think you'll find them helpful!

If you're still feeling confused, don't hesitate to reach out to a resident psychological teacher at your university. They're there to help!

The good news is that the psychological counselor should be able to provide you with free services.

If you feel like you're running on empty trying to keep up with this roommate who's a bit vague, I think it's a good idea to give yourself some space.

I really hope the problem you're having gets sorted out soon.

I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say.

I really hope my answer helps and inspires you! I'm the one who answered, and I'm studying hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, the world and I love you! Wishing you the best!

Take care!

Hello. I'm Qiuqiu, and I'm happy to answer your question.

You are a student with ideas and abilities. You are taking online courses and blogging about makeup and fashion, and you are achieving good results.

Show your roommate empathy by putting yourself in their shoes before you give them your share of the product.

Instead of arguing or fighting, you calmly and rationally asked questions to express your confusion when faced with your roommate's strange behavior.

You have a good relationship with the other two roommates, which shows that you are kind and friendly.

I put myself in her shoes. I would like her a lot if I had a roommate like her.

Your roommate is acting strangely towards you because she is jealous of you.

Jealousy arises when someone achieves what another wants but lacks. This triggers the other's inner self-doubt and inferiority complex. Since she lacks sufficient self-reflection skills, she attacks you as an object to release her negative emotions.

I'll share a few thoughts on how to deal with her jealousy.

First, we must set clear boundaries.

Emotions are personal. Everyone has them, everyone deals with them differently, and only you are responsible for your emotions.

Your roommate's jealousy is none of your concern. Even if it weren't you, other people and circumstances will evoke the same emotions, so don't take responsibility for her feelings.

Second, you must deal with her emotions positively and protect yourself.

For example, when she is acting weird again, tell her that you are just sharing. If she doesn't like it, she can stop. Saying things like that makes you feel embarrassed.

Furthermore, it is crucial to understand that jealousy can cause significant emotional distress, potentially impairing one's judgment. Consequently, it is essential to be mindful of any extreme behaviors exhibited by our roommates and to safeguard ourselves against potential hurt.

In the end, don't let it affect you. Always be yourself and become better and better. There's a saying: when you're a little better than others, they'll envy you; when you're much better than others, they'll only admire you.

The purpose of improving yourself is not to make others admire you. When you reach a higher level, your horizons and perspectives will undoubtedly change, and the way others treat you will also change.

I am confident that the above will be helpful to you. Be well.

Hello, question asker! I'm so impressed to see that you've taken the time out of your own free time to try to become a beauty blogger!

She demonstrates an admirable ability to prioritize and manage her time, which reflects your own capacity for self-management and time management. You are commendable for dedicating yourself to the things you love, and I admire your dedication.

It seems that the root of the problem is your roommate's discomfort when you return to the dormitory. Their remarks seem to express a certain degree of jealousy, or perhaps admiration that is not easily conveyed. It's possible that they envy your ability to pursue interests, your passion for blogging, your generosity in sharing cosmetics, your ability to embrace your own beauty, and your willingness to accept feedback from others.

It seems that her envy has gradually led to her evaluating you more and more negatively through repeated expressions. You treat her as a friend, but she treats you as an enemy. It's challenging to accept so many negative comments from her. It also shows that you value these comments. You hope that you can do better and better. In the face of these expectations and comments, you are unbalanced, which is very normal. You can see that your emotions have changed, and you have proposed to find resources for yourself and face these changes in yourself, which shows that your inner capacity is becoming wider and bigger.

It might be helpful to consider the energy balance involved in sharing cosmetics with a roommate. While you may be willing to share, it's important to recognize whether the other person is equally open to this arrangement. Mutual respect can go a long way in fostering a positive and comfortable sharing dynamic.

Kindness can sometimes have the unintended consequence of making the person on the receiving end feel inferior. When this dynamic is present, it can create an imbalance that your roommate may perceive as uncomfortable. It's understandable that you want to be kind, but it's also important to consider how your actions affect others. Your roommate may be trying to protect her own self-esteem, and it's possible that your actions are causing her discomfort. It might be helpful to approach sharing with a greater awareness of the energy involved.

I hope these thoughts are helpful for you. Take care!

Good morning, and thank you for meeting here. I'd like to offer you a warm and empowering hug.

From your description, you seem to be a capable and attractive individual. You have been running a short video channel for two years and have achieved some success. You have done what many people aspire to do but often fail to do. However, dealing with your roommate has brought you some challenging experiences and feelings, and it has also had some unfortunate influences, but you're unsure of the best way forward.

First, it would be helpful to take some time to reflect on your own needs and those of your roommate. After two years of living together and having achieved some small successes, you originally shared them with your roommate out of goodwill. However, she responded with sarcasm, which made you feel that your roommate was jealous of you. It seems that she has what you have, but you don't have what she has, and she doesn't have any way to surpass you. This may make her feel uncomfortable, but it's important to recognize that this is her problem, not yours.

I admire your dedication to making short videos. It takes a lot of persistence and perseverance to keep at it for two years. When you ask your roommate, "How's your makeup?"

It seems that your roommate has expressed a lack of confidence in their ability to put on makeup, despite your own abilities in this area. It's understandable that this could lead to feelings of frustration or resentment, especially when it comes to navigating differences in skill sets. It's important to remember that just because you're not causing any harm to others, it doesn't mean that others aren't causing you discomfort in return.

It's important to remember that you've done things your roommate hasn't, and that's okay.

This type of roommate may have a slight inferiority complex, particularly when she sees that one roommate is already much more outstanding. Her "cold mockery and hidden criticisms" can make people feel uncomfortable, which may affect their mood. It could also dampen the mood and affect the dormitory atmosphere, etc.

When your roommate is uncooperative with you in this way, it's natural to have a range of feelings. It's possible that you might interpret this as the other person's "negation" and "attack" of you. When you feel this, it's understandable if you experience a little pressure or fear. It might be helpful to consider that you can't always control how others perceive you. We all have different personalities and ways of interacting with others. It's not always possible to make everyone like us. There's no need to cater to other people's expectations and compromise your own comfort and values. It's important to focus on making yourself comfortable.

How you handle this situation will depend on what kind of relationship you want to maintain with her.

If she is simply your roommate and you do not wish to develop a close friendship, it would be best to handle the situation calmly and avoid letting her influence you. It is important to remember that she is not your priority. Since she has expressed her preference for not using skincare products, it would be best to respect that and not ask her for them in the future. Similarly, since she does not wear makeup, it would be best to respect that preference as well and not ask her for it in the future. It would be best to avoid mentioning skincare, makeup, or videos to her.

If she has a significant impact on you, you might consider treating her as if she were invisible. It's possible that she's not as important to you as you think.

If you would like to maintain a good relationship with him, it might be helpful to try to express your discomfort at the time, and if necessary, you can talk about it together.

It is often the case that the thoughts and actions of others are beyond our control. Some people will be friendly towards you even if you do nothing, while others will never warm up to you no matter how hard you try to compromise. Human interactions sometimes depend on fate, and it takes two people going in the same direction to maintain a relationship for a long time.

It's important to remember that making friends is often a matter of chance, and not making friends is also a common experience. However, if this person is consistently bringing negative experiences and feelings, it might be helpful to consider creating some distance. This can help avoid any self-defeating patterns.

I hope this has been helpful for you and that you will be able to interact with your roommate in a more balanced way soon.

I hope the world and I can show you some love.

Hello, question asker!

Please let me give you a hug of understanding. From what you've told me, I can see how you feel.

You might want to share the products you've tried with your roommate. This can help strengthen your friendship and also prevent waste.

And most of the roommates are pretty happy about it. I think it's a nice gesture, and there's nothing wrong with it.

However, there's always going to be someone in the group who's not happy. It can be really disappointing.

Moreover, that kind of "sour speech" makes people feel pretty uncomfortable. Can I understand it like this?

Her words are a reflection of her inner feelings. Take a closer look at her comments and you'll see that they all contain some element of her own feelings of unacceptability.

For instance, she said, "Oh, when you become a blogger, you give us things you don't need, you're really good at being nice." This sentence actually shows that she's jealous.

She also wants to be noticed and praised by others. For example, she once said, "You're so lucky, your makeup skills are so good it's like a head swap, I can't even do makeup."

This sentence is a way of hiding her appearance anxiety and her desire to become more beautiful. She just doesn't admit it directly.

I've also had roommates like this, and we lived together for four years. I'd like to share some of my feelings with you.

She might be hoping to be the center of attention in the dormitory.

You're a blogger, and she's just an ordinary student. Maybe she also wants to be the center of attention.

That's why she's acting this way on purpose.

She might be comparing everything to you and just wants to win.

2. Just because she said it doesn't mean it's true. You know best.

Your feelings are the most real, and all the comments from others are secondary. Follow your own gut and see what other people think, apart from hers.

Don't let her take over.

It's important to recognize your own position and not let others' opinions get to you. If you encounter someone whose values are inconsistent with your own, there's no need to prove yourself, because they won't understand anyway.

Just do what you need to do. That's all there is to it.

3. Give her the cold shoulder.

This kind of person will probably say some pretty strange things. If she says, "We'll just ignore it," do you think she still has a market?

We just need to defend our bottom line at the right time and make sure she doesn't step on it. Just do a good job of "self-isolation" in general.

Have you noticed that the more you respond to her, the more she pushes back?

I hope you find these thoughts helpful.

Two years ago, during the pandemic, I had the incredible opportunity to stay at home and teach online, which led me to pursue my passion for beauty and fashion blogging. Despite having a modest following, I managed to make a success of it for two years, and as a result, I received products from businesses.

We've been able to develop our strengths and interests in our spare time, and it's been amazing! We've gained so many fans and the recognition of the store. These are all great conditions, and we can keep digging deeper according to our own preferences, improving our various skills and conditions. Whether we're interested in a certain direction or making money, we can do better and better in this part and enjoy the process!

After posting the video review, I gave the products to my roommates. We tried a little bit of each product and loved them! I put myself in their shoes and thought about what I would think if I were the one receiving the products. I also thought that my roommates would really like them and wouldn't mind.

Once we've finished all our tasks and work, we'll share it with our roommates! It's our way of being kind. When we put ourselves in others' shoes to consider whether our actions will cause discomfort to others, it shows that we have enough empathy!

The amazing feedback we got proves that our actions and intentions were spot on. Everyone could feel our pure, good intentions, and we had a blast doing it. That's the perfect way to put it!

Then, that roommate said, "Oh, when you became a blogger, you gave us the things you didn't want. You really know how to get along with people." The atmosphere in the dormitory was very awkward, and I also felt very puzzled. I didn't know how to respond...

Everyone's feelings and feedback are different for a good motive and behavior, and we cannot please everyone. So there will be individual situations with not-so-good feedback—but that's okay!

When this kind of situation suddenly arises, it can be tricky to know the best way to react. You might not be able to respond immediately, and you might get feedback that differs from your own feelings. It's totally normal to feel a bit embarrassed or at a loss in these moments. But here's the good news: we can use this as an opportunity to sort things out and consider them based on each person's different characteristics.

We have a great opportunity to ask about everyone's feelings! For example, as we mentioned above, we can put ourselves in others' shoes and think about whether our actions will make anyone uncomfortable. Then, we can get really specific. For example, we can ask all our roommates whether they feel uncomfortable when they receive gifts. We can also share our own thoughts. We think this product is the best and suits the skin type and body shape of all our dorm members. We want to share it with everyone! However, if it will make anyone uncomfortable, we will pay attention to that and not do anything that makes anyone feel bad. We will dispose of the things sent by the merchant ourselves so as not to cause anyone any unpleasant feelings.

It's great that you can choose to adjust your approach based on feedback from different personalities and feelings!

If your roommate is happy to receive gifts, then we can definitely continue to get along like this!

We can totally reduce such behavior in the future when we receive gifts and feel uncomfortable with our roommates.

But it's important to express it openly so that other roommates don't misunderstand and think that we're targeting certain people or deliberately provoking the relationship between roommates.

On the plus side, it lets all roommates know that our gifts are uniform. If we appear to be giving individual gifts, it is also the other person's idea and demand, and it is not that we deliberately isolate or antagonize certain people.

And there's more! When I'm filming a makeup video, I'll ask my roommates how I'm doing. The other two roommates will tell me honestly what's good and what could be better.

When we record videos, we get to face a large group of fans, and everyone's aesthetic tastes will be different. So we will actively ask the opinions of those around us, work harder to refine our skills, make adjustments, and if these inquiries and consultations within reason do not make our roommates feel uncomfortable, it means that our model and way of getting along is also reasonable and does not cause others any trouble.

So we can also maintain our habits and get along with each other, give each other advice, and when others give us advice and comments, we can also give the same feedback and help when others have needs or questions.

In dormitory life, it's all about helping each other and working together to improve! It's a great atmosphere.

At this time, that roommate will definitely say something like, "You're so lucky, your makeup skills are so good it's like a head-to-toe transformation, I can't even do makeup." I'm really impressed! Is she just targeting me or what? How should I handle this situation?

It's so great that everyone has different feedback! Some people are super supportive and positive, while others have different aesthetic opinions. And it's also really interesting to hear about different worldviews and perceptions.

Some people absolutely love makeup and think it's a great way to feel happy and beautiful. Others, though, just don't get it.

In this situation, we just need to respect each other. We can avoid asking people who don't like this kind of style for advice as much as possible. If it is feasible in your own time, you can also avoid disturbing each other by enjoying your own independent space to do makeup or some daily filming.

However, if the other person also deliberately disturbs us, we can also promptly express our feelings and thoughts, as well as our opinions, and exchange them with each other sensitively. This is an excellent opportunity to share our thoughts and opinions in a respectful way!

The underlying logic is that everyone's aesthetics and values can be different, and that's a good thing! As long as it doesn't interfere with the other person's daily life, then we can all be tolerant and understanding of each other.

However, this tolerance and understanding definitely does not include mutual denigration or verbal attacks. So when we receive this kind of situation, we can also express our feelings in a timely manner and maintain our emotional state.

I'm happy to say that I don't feel that the roommate's mode of getting along with us is deliberately targeting us or deliberately trying to get along with us unfriendly. However, there is indeed some strange, even unreasonable evaluation and getting along. The good news is that we can find opportunities to communicate privately or have a small meeting in the presence of all dorm members to find out everyone's feedback on this hobby or side business. The even better news is that we will also try our best to adjust within a reasonable range so as not to interfere with everyone's daily life.

If we do happen to come across some roommates who are really pushing the boundaries, we just need to make sure we stick up for ourselves and our rights. And remember, as long as we're not hurting anyone, there's nothing wrong with enjoying some time to ourselves!

Hello, I'm Yang Yiqing, a psychological counselor at One Psychological.

I just wanted to say thanks for sharing your feelings and concerns so honestly. I can see what you're going through and the contradictions within.

It's normal to feel content when you see that your own efforts may have surpassed those of others, while at the same time feeling troubled that you cannot truly be happy for the success of others. We all have different emotional experiences and ways of reacting, and that's okay.

On the other hand, your reflection on these feelings shows that you want to become a better version of yourself.

1. Understand and accept your feelings.

Your feelings are real and a reflection of your personal experiences and psychological state. Understanding and accepting these feelings is the first step in self-growth. Don't be too hard on yourself for your feelings. Instead, think of them as an opportunity for self-understanding and growth. Give yourself a pat on the back for being aware!

2. Take a closer look at what drives you.

Your competitive nature might be driven by a desire for success and a quest for self-worth. It could be helpful to explore what success means to you.

Sometimes our competitive nature is a result of internalizing social expectations or a search for self-worth. For example, before, I didn't care if someone studied or not, but when someone else said they had a lot of good friends, I would be envious. This shows that friendship is very important to me and that I lack it. Thinking deeper, it may be that I am dependent on others and always need someone to keep me company, or that I am not independent enough.

3. Learning Empathy

Empathy is something you can work on with a bit of practice and reflection. Try to see things from other people's perspectives and feel what it's like to be them.

This will help you connect with others on a deeper level and gain a better understanding of yourself.

4. Reflect and adjust

If you catch yourself envying or being jealous of others, take a moment to think about why. You might find that it reveals some deeper needs or desires.

Then, try to turn these feelings into motivation to help you grow and improve in your field.

5. Book recommendations

1. "Nonviolent Communication" by Marshall B. Rosenberg

This book shows you how to build better relationships through empathy and good communication.

2. The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

This book looks at how we can move past feelings of inferiority and find personal freedom and happiness through dialogue.

3. "The Miracle of Mindfulness" by Thich Nhat Hanh

This book offers tips for achieving inner peace and understanding through mindfulness and living in the present moment.

Remember, everyone is constantly growing and learning. You've already taken the first step towards change by recognizing that you're willing to change your thoughts and behaviors.

It'll take time and patience, as well as a little tenderness and understanding for yourself. Your journey may be full of challenges, but every step is a step towards a better you.

I'm a listening coach, Yang Yiqing. Life is a challenge, but every step is worth celebrating. Let's move forward together.

Please feel free to get in touch if you'd like to chat.

It is evident that you treat your roommates with sincerity and amiability.

At a fundamental level, you desire to be treated with sincerity and friendship. However, one roommate consistently engages in behavior that is both hostile and humiliating toward you.

This causes considerable distress. Despite your friendly and approachable demeanor, you are not well-received by the other person.

This is the jealousy of the other person.

What is the definition of envy?

Jealousy is one of the most primitive negative emotions in humans. It has its roots in a deep-seated sense of inferiority and a feeling of powerlessness to change the situation. Jealousy is often associated with other negative emotions such as dissatisfaction, resentment, and worry.

Good jealousy is defined as the capacity to recognize the discrepancy between one's own abilities and those of others and to pursue excellence in one's own endeavors. Conversely, bad jealousy is characterized by a desire to negatively impact others without making personal changes.

The following two characteristics are indicative of bad jealousy:

The intention is to denigrate the image of the individual being attacked.

Furthermore, it is often manifested in a cathartic manner, with the majority of individuals experiencing jealousy expressing their feelings through verbal sarcasm, detached actions, and physical aggression.

What measures might be taken to alter this situation?

1. It is imperative to comprehend a fundamental tenet: an individual's disposition towards another does not hinge on one's own attitude towards that person.

Moreover, the fact that this roommate is unable to tolerate seeing you succeed is irrelevant to you.

One might consider the attitudes of the other two roommates towards you, which are more friendly and accepting, and thereby gain insight into the quality of your interpersonal relationships. It would be unwise, therefore, to be unduly troubled by the fact that a few people do not like you.

Given your disposition as a generous and kind child, it would be prudent to continue expressing sincerity and friendliness.

2. Kindness and sincerity should be directed towards an appropriate recipient. If one is sincere with someone and that person still targets the sincerer individual, it may be due to intense jealousy.

When one offers another something, the recipient's initial response is not gratitude, but a perception that the giver is exhibiting self-aggrandizement in their presence. The act of bestowing a gift can evoke feelings of inferiority and shame in the receiver, particularly when they perceive the gesture as a display of superiority.

Consequently, she will not express gratitude, but rather launch an attack with her words. Similarly, when she observes the effectiveness of your makeup, her response will be one of sharp and bitter criticism.

This also indicates that her emotional capacity is limited and that she is driven by feelings of envy.

In the presence of an individual exhibiting such behavior, it is advisable to exercise caution to avoid provoking feelings of jealousy. Attempt to conceal any indications of happiness, joy, or success, and refrain from sharing these experiences. Adopt a relatively subdued demeanor in her presence to help restore her inner equilibrium.

Furthermore, one will not be adversely affected by the other party's feelings of envy.

The following represents my response to the aforementioned inquiries. It is my hope that these answers prove to be of some utility to you.

Hello, I'm Zeyu.

"My roommate at university is acting weird towards me. Does she not like me?" It's a real possibility. If the other person really doesn't like you, you need to take control.

In interpersonal relationships, not everyone is willing to put in the effort. In reality, there are indeed such people, and "jealousy" is common when dealing with such people. This "jealousy" is often a mask for dissatisfaction with oneself and resistance to reality. The other person may not even realize their own behavior, so when we face such remarks, we need to be more tolerant and understanding. We can pay attention to the other person's feelings when they ask again at the right time. The purpose of this is to let the other person know that we are listening to them and also to make them realize how this will make us feel.

One person's difficulty can't satisfy a hundred people. Even people in the same dormitory can be different. The questioner has deeply experienced this. The hypothesis we mentioned at the beginning just now is wrong. What we can do about this is to find a way to do something. Avoiding problems does not solve them, and intensifying conflicts may lead to even worse results. In this regard, we can choose to take the initiative. Choose the right time to sit down with your roommates and talk calmly. Talk about it openly.

The purpose of the chat is to find out the motives and intentions of the classmate. This prevents us from misattributing the problem and misunderstanding each other. If the other person is unwilling to talk about it, then we must accept that we will continue living our own way, rather than doing what the other person thinks is reasonable and correct at their pace. Empathy is essential here, but we don't need to please others for this reason.

Hello, I saw your description and I want to give you a big thumbs up. You tried to run an account during a special period and the data was not bad, which shows that you are an outstanding person in some ways. And you haven't done anything wrong in terms of how you get along with others. After receiving the products sent by the merchant, you first tested them yourself before giving them to your roommates. Most of your roommates accepted them, but one of them was weird with you. Then, after you sincerely asked for advice, she also spoke unpleasant things. It seems that your roommate is jealous of you.

As a general rule, we all envy people who are better than us in some way. But envy can also motivate us to improve ourselves. It seems that your roommate has gone from envy to jealousy, and even hatred. She's jealous of the fact that you're better than her and that the merchant sent you the goods. You have to understand that this is her problem. If you're uncomfortable, you can privately use the method of non-violent communication to talk to your roommate. For example, you could say why you tried a little (to ensure the quality of the product). If your roommate doesn't accept it, you don't have to engage in internal conflict. You can just make it clear to the other person that her expression makes you uncomfortable.

For more details on these methods, please see "Nonviolent Communication."

Of course, interpersonal communication or interaction can't be explained in a few words. If your roommate can let go and stop being jealous of you, but instead live in peace with you, I believe your roommate life and college life will still be wonderful.

That's all I can think of for now. At Yi Xinli, the world and I love you ???

Good morning, my name is Yang Yiqing and I am a psychological counselor.

It is important to address your concerns directly. It is essential to recognize that your feelings are valid and deserve understanding. In your communication, you can express your disappointment and confusion with your roommate.

As a beauty and fashion blogger, your dedication and hard work are commendable and worthy of respect. At the same time, you have also demonstrated a generous and sharing spirit, which are valuable qualities in any professional.

There may be several explanations for your roommate's attitude. First, her behavior could be motivated by jealousy of your success.

In a small community where individuals reside together, it is not uncommon for comparisons to be made between members. When one person achieves a level of success in a specific area, such as your accomplishments in the field of beauty blogging, it can lead to feelings of jealousy or inferiority in others.

Her statements, such as "give us the things you don't want when you become a blogger," may be an attempt to cope with these emotions.

Furthermore, differences in communication styles and personalities may also be a contributing factor. It is important to recognise that everyone expresses emotions and views the world in a unique way.

Some individuals may be more direct in their communication, which can sometimes be misinterpreted as aggressive or unfriendly.

In order to effectively address this situation, it is recommended to take the following steps:

1. Understand and accept your emotions: It is important to recognize that it is normal to feel upset or angry about your roommate's words and actions. In counseling, we encourage individuals to accept and understand their emotions rather than ignore or suppress them.

2. Communicate openly with your roommate: Identify an appropriate time to communicate your feelings to your roommate in a sincere manner. You could say, "I've noticed that you seem upset about something I said or did, and I'd like to understand how you feel better. Can we talk?"

This kind of communication facilitates openness and reduces the likelihood of misunderstandings.

3. Set boundaries: Should the issue persist following communication, it is vital to establish clear boundaries. This may entail refraining from sharing products or ignoring negative comments.

For further reading, we suggest the following books:

1. Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg): This book presents an empathetic approach to communication that enables the expression of needs in conflict while respecting others.

2. Self-Compassion (Kristin Neff): This book provides guidance on how to treat oneself with greater kindness and compassion, particularly in the context of facing challenges and difficulties.

3. Interpersonal Psychology (Elliot Aronson): This book provides comprehensive insights into understanding the dynamics of interpersonal relationships, including strategies for navigating diverse personality traits and communication styles.

It is important to remember that your value is not determined by the opinions of others. The efforts and achievements you have made in your professional capacity are solely your own.

In order to maintain a productive and mutually beneficial relationship, it is essential to be transparent and attentive to your own needs and emotions.

I am a listener. Yang Yiqing Life presents challenges, but every step is worth celebrating. I hope we can move forward together.

Please do not hesitate to contact me should you require any further information.

Hello, I'm Phil.

I'm really sorry you've had this experience.

Based on what you said, it seems like…

During the pandemic two years ago, when there was more time for online classes, I started trying to become a beauty and fashion blogger. I don't have a huge following, but my data is still pretty good after two years of operation, so I've received some products from businesses.

You've already posted the video after taking the measurements and shared it with your roommates. You've only tried a little bit of it, and you've also put yourself in their shoes. If you received it, you wouldn't mind either.

The other roommates are really happy and don't mind, but that roommate said, "Oh, when you become a blogger, you'll have to give us the things you don't want. You really know how to get along with people."

When I'm filming a makeup video, I also ask my roommates how they did. The other two roommates will tell me honestly what they like and dislike about my makeup.

At this point, the roommate will probably say something like, "You're so lucky! Your makeup skills are so good, it's like a head-to-toe transformation. I can't even do makeup."

Do you want to know if the other person is targeting you or what they want? How should you handle this situation?

It's great to be able to enjoy fame as a beauty blogger, build up a following and get sent products by brands to try out. It shows you've put the work in and you've got what it takes.

In today's world of live streaming and internet celebrity culture, this is a trend that's here to stay. From a broader perspective, it can give you certain qualifications and experience when you enter the job market, enable you to see more things, and allow you to practice many things in advance. Whether you take it up as a hobby or use it to kill time when you're bored, it can make your life very rich and colorful.

As is the case with many internet bloggers or anchors, the more famous they become, the more they will encounter such things as they become popular. People will question them, mess with them, target them, be sarcastic, jealous, etc. Regardless of the reasons, this seems to be an inevitable path for bloggers, internet celebrities, and anchors alike.

We often tell these kinds of people that this kind of thing is inevitable, that it's enough to have a clear conscience and work hard, but in fact, when encountering this kind of thing, it's okay to feel discouraged or sad.

So jealousy is sometimes a reminder that we need to learn how to maintain our sense of self or deal with such things better than to be jealous or have similar negative emotions.

Phil suggests two ways to handle it. Pick the one that works for you.

What do you think?

1️⃣ Aggressive approach:

The goal here is to vent your anger, calm the psychological gap you're feeling, and even make the other party afraid to keep doing so. This is also a chance to establish your own toughness.

Here are a few possible ways to try:

? Respond in a similar way, or respond in a similar way to the attitude you're being treated with.

For instance, if someone says, "It's so nice of you to give us things you don't need when you become a blogger," you could say, "Well, the brand sent it to me for free. I thought about doing a review and sharing the blessings with my good sisters. Some people can't eat the fine chaff, and they can't buy it even if they want to."

If someone says, "You're so lucky, your makeup skills are so good it's like a new face, I can't even put on makeup," you could say, "Clothes make the man, and any beautiful soul needs a good-looking face, but some people can't hide their inner ugliness no matter how good their makeup is."

☀Downside: It'll make the conflict worse. If the other person is stubborn and vindictive, you'll have to be careful not to make things worse for yourself down the road. Or, if you really don't want to communicate with the other person at all, you can go ahead and try this extreme method.

2. A gentler approach:

Effect: It's safer and more effective, and it won't lead to a total breakdown in communication.

As the saying goes, college is a small society, and roommates are often close or at least relatively speaking, the people you interact with the most. Sometimes if the emotional relationship with a roommate becomes too strained, it can lead to unhappiness in college.

If you don't want to get to know the other person too well and you don't want to embarrass them by speaking ill of them, but you just want to calm your emotions, and if the worst that happens is that the other person is considered a fool, then you can try this.

Here are a few ways you could try:

For instance, you can simply explain to the other person, just as you would to your other roommates, that you were only testing it and didn't use much—just a little on the surrounding things or on the lid, or just a shallow layer, which doesn't affect the use.

As the manufacturer recommends this product, you should also take responsibility and do your own research. You should also do your own testing.

If you don't like it, you can choose another option or opt out. No one is forcing you to get involved.

☀Cons: Most people will think the other person is acting strangely and may even seem jealous. Some people may feel a bit out of balance or even taken advantage of, so they can also try to add some better adjustment methods from their perspective in this situation.

There are lots of different ways to self-adjust, and the methods can be quite arbitrary. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you're comfortable with it and feel it's appropriate.

I hope this helps.

I hope the world and I can help you out.

Good morning, classmate. I am Super Sister from Yixinli.

I admire your ambition and drive. I believe you have the potential to be a cheerful, kind, and passionate student who takes the initiative to create your own life and is willing to share it. Given your excellence, I anticipate you will be very popular. However, your success may occasionally elicit jealousy from some people.

It is important to understand that not all positive actions will be met with a positive response. For instance, if you share something with your colleague and they respond sincerely, but one of them always responds with sarcasm,

In the event that a response to your goodwill is hostile, you may also choose to respond in a different manner. For example:

1. Identify a mutually beneficial outcome.

Jealousy typically arises from the perception that another individual possesses something you desire. As the essay "On Jealousy" notes, "The jealous person can criticize the person they are jealous of to no end, but in reality, that person is the one they envy most."

One possible solution is to assist your roommate with her makeup and styling, thereby enhancing her appearance and potentially reducing her hostility towards you.

2. Maintain a professional distance.

If you endeavor to alter your relationship with an individual but they continue to respond to you with hostility, it is advisable to maintain a certain distance from them.

While healthy jealousy can lead to growth, excessive jealousy can be damaging. Therefore, maintaining a certain distance can prevent you from being hurt by inexplicable words or actions.

3. Enhance your personal development.

It is not necessary to concern yourself unduly with malicious comments from others. Instead, focus on making continuous improvements.

As you become more and more outstanding, the distance between you and her will grow. Eventually, she will have to change from a position of jealousy to one of admiration.

I have always believed that every individual I encounter is significant. They serve as mirrors, reflecting different aspects of ourselves. If you are open to it, you can also use their actions towards you to gain a more accurate and comprehensive understanding of yourself. If there is room for improvement, you can make the necessary changes. If there is nothing to be concerned about, you can feel encouraged.

I am grateful for your interest in Yi Xinli and your questions, even though we have not met. They prompt me to reflect on my own approach.

I wish you the best in your future endeavors and hope that the future holds infinite possibilities for you to explore.

Hello! I'll give you a 360-degree hug.

From what you've told me, it seems like your roommate's words and actions are making you feel confused and upset. It seems like you've done nothing to hurt her and you're even willing to share your own samples. However, it seems like your roommate doesn't appreciate it and her attitude towards this is unclear.

You're wondering why she's doing this. Is it because she doesn't want you to be happy? It's possible that your roommate doesn't want you to be happy, or that she's jealous of you, or that she wants to be a blogger like you and get free products.

From a psychoanalytic standpoint, the more someone resists something, the more they may want to possess it. This is a defense mechanism called reverse formation in psychoanalysis.

Of course, there may be other reasons. It can be tough to figure out why someone did or said something, and they might not even know themselves.

But it's important to remember that our own feelings are valid, especially when it comes to how we react to the words and actions of others. After all, our feelings are shaped by our own experiences and values.

Our understanding might be miles apart from the other person's intention, but that's not the point. What matters is that our feelings are our own, and those words and actions that make us uncomfortable really do make us uncomfortable.

More importantly, how should we respond to this situation? Just like you, I find your roommate's strange behavior uncomfortable.

What should I do? Our words, actions, and thoughts are based on our own feelings, which may have nothing to do with the other person's intentions.

So, how can you make yourself feel more comfortable in the face of your roommate's strange behavior? You said you didn't immediately argue back, which shows you wanted to.

Then you can do some mental rehearsals. For example, you can think about how you are going to respond next time.

You can even write down what you said first, read it a few times, and get familiar with it. That way, the next time the other person says something similar, it will trigger your rehearsal, and you'll be ready to go if you need to.

Of course, you can also do nothing. It's not your business if she's being sarcastic. You can just ignore it.

Just do what you think is best. It's important not to affect her life, and you are free to do whatever you want. I would suggest ignoring the other person directly, and ignoring the other person's words and the other person as a person.

From what you've said, you're probably a junior or senior, and you don't have much time to spend with each other. After graduation, you'll go your separate ways, and some of you may never see each other again.

Also, if the other person's words make you feel bad, it might be because they've triggered something in your subconscious, like a feeling of not being recognized or a desire to be seen as too good. If you're not sure why they did it, just ignore it.

I'm often a Buddhist and a pessimist, but I try to be an occasionally positive and motivated counselor. I love the world and I love you.