No one likes me. I'm excluded by the teacher and hated by my classmates. Is it all my fault?

Hello, your current reflection is the beginning of creating your own love for yourself. I am a psychology teacher, and this stems from your relationship with your parents. From a young age, you were not loved. Such a childhood is full of bitterness, and you cannot express it. So you have closed your heart.

You can change. It takes time, but you can go from low self-esteem to self-confidence.

Affirm yourself and don't stop loving yourself just because your parents don't. You are an independent individual. At school, focus on your studies and concentrate on a subject that you are good at. You have hobbies and specialties. If you like reading, your Chinese will be good. If you like running, your body is good. If you have nothing, start now and create it.

You are more likely to see your shortcomings, unhappy childhood, and unconcerned parents. This is like a black hole, sucking your energy and drawing you into the abyss, where you give up on yourself. The teacher gives you a ray of light, which is positive and uplifting. You discover yourself, affirm yourself, and love yourself. You slowly bloom like a flower, rising upwards, and become your own sun, warming those in need of your help.

The teacher used to be weak, but she has learned psychology and become strong. She has also helped many people, so you will become the best you. The world and I love you, so you must love yourself. Don't give up and find your own strength!

It's sad to read your description. Why do we have to make others like us? Can't we live well if we're not liked? In some of our past experiences, we may have always been taught by adults that we feel that many of our values and many of our outlooks on life depend on the approval of others to be implemented.

But why? Is what other people say the golden rule? Is it the supreme law that other people like you are the most important? You don't need to be liked by everyone. In this world, if you can win the heart of one person and stay together till the end, you will eventually find your own star. You will eventually find yourself at the end of the day.

And remember to enjoy yourself. It's not realistic to expect everyone to like us, and that's unlikely to happen. It may be that some past experiences have made you a bit depressed and inferior, and many times you also feel some rejection from others, but these are external. I have no way of deciding how other people see themselves.

But we have the power to decide how we treat ourselves. If a person respects and likes themselves, they will change from the inside out. Cinderella will one day become a beautiful princess. Sometimes it may be because of their appearance, sometimes it may be because of regional discrimination where they come from, or because their parents didn't do something right.

Or maybe you just did something wrong, which might make people dislike you. Whether or not people like you is up to them, and there's nothing we can do about it. Often, we don't even know whether they'll like us or not, but what we can do is not try to influence other people.

Don't be too hard on yourself. We just need to do our own thing. If other people scold you, that's on them. At this time, you still need to seek appropriate help?

If people reject you, mock you, ignore you, or slander you, it's their problem, not yours.

Not everyone is worth knowing. Some people are violent, and we need to stay away from them. We need to find people who are genuinely friendly. This may be difficult, but one day someone like that will appear by your side. Inferiority, fear, anxiety, and lack of confidence

You can all get psychological counseling. I suggest you get the right kind of counseling and talk to a counselor about your inner thoughts and confusions. I also recommend that you take the Life Canvas psychological test to understand your inner trauma and corresponding solutions. Good luck!

ZQ?

Dear Question Asker, My name is Du Ying, a listening therapist. I hope my answer will be of assistance to you.

From the information provided, it is evident that the individual's experiences from childhood to adulthood have resulted in numerous challenges in interpersonal relationships. As they matured, they attempted to make a breakthrough, but the significant impact of their childhood experiences

As a result, we have not yet achieved a complete breakthrough, and we continue to experience feelings of inferiority, anxiety, and fear. We even begin to doubt and deny ourselves. I want to extend a supportive gesture from afar and reassure you that I recognize the child who has been hurt and afraid in relationships since childhood. We are here with you, and you are not alone.

It is a significant step forward to be able to identify your concerns in this forum. Let us examine together the factors that have shaped our current circumstances, which may provide valuable insights for our transformation.

Every child is born with a clean slate. His environment, the way he interacts with those who raise him, and what he experiences and feels are gradually written into his life, gradually forming his views on the world and people.

If a child's experiences are consistently positive, they will internalize this goodness and believe that the world and people around them are inherently good. This instills a sense of security, encouraging them to interact with more strangers and explore unfamiliar environments. Conversely, if a child's experiences are predominantly negative or even painful, they will perceive the world and people as less favorable.

However, he is unable to extricate himself from this environment; he must continue to operate within it. One potential solution is to limit his interactions and avoid conflict with others.

This may provide a sense of security, but it can also lead to feelings of loneliness, fear, and vulnerability. These feelings may persist even after individuals have grown up. When attempting to make a change, it can feel as if the mind and body are out of control. Thoughts such as "I'm scared. Am I not good enough? What if someone criticizes me?" can arise.

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The body will involuntarily withdraw.

How might we overcome this challenge? I offer a few suggestions for the questioner, which I hope will prove useful.

Firstly, it is important to accept yourself. From the aforementioned description, it is evident that the questioner is aware of the reasons behind his current circumstances. At the time of birth, there are numerous factors that are beyond our control.

For example, our parents, our gender, and our upbringing. Accepting these factors can help reduce internal psychological conflicts and consumption, while also providing the inner strength to change the status quo.

It is my hope that the questioner understands that regardless of how our parents and others interact with us, we cannot change their actions. The only thing we can change is our perception of these interactions and how we respond to them.

It is important to recognize the need for change and to break past patterns.

Secondly, the child's self-healing process. From your description, it is evident that the child has become stuck in the past. He is trembling and afraid that others will scold and reject him, to the extent that he wants to hide. When you feel the scared child again, you can cover your heart with your right hand and say to him: I know you are scared, scared of being scolded and ignored and rejected by others. That is not their fault, nor is it your fault.

You are not alone. I am here to support you. When you feel safe, I will be there to assist you.

It is my hope that the questioner will be able to heal the injured child within himself in this way. I believe that, over time, his fear will decrease.

Thirdly, it would be beneficial to enhance your personal development. I would recommend reading more books that improve self-confidence and communication skills, such as "Low Self-Esteem and Transcendence" and "Crucial Conversations." You can also listen to books on Fan Deng Reading, and there are many excellent options available.

The key is to learn the aforementioned methods to become more confident and to express your feelings and thoughts in a way that does not damage your relationships. I also suggest that the questioner choose a sport and persevere with it over the long term, so that we have strength in body and mind.

Additionally, engage in activities that align with your strengths and interests, those that bring you fulfillment. In essence, cultivate self-love and enhance your mindset.

Fourth, engage in social activities. The questioner frequently inquires as to whether individuals like me can interact with the general public. I would like to confirm that such socialization is indeed possible, however, it is essential to overcome the personal barriers that may hinder this process.

It is recommended that the questioner participate in some public welfare groups, as people in these groups are generally kind and easier to interact with. Their activities are focused on public benefit, which can foster a positive environment.

Furthermore, engaging in public welfare activities with these individuals provides an opportunity to gradually communicate and interact with everyone. Given that these interactions are not yet familiar, any negative experiences can be managed without concern for long-term consequences.

I encourage you to try this approach. I believe that with time, your apprehension will dissipate, and you will be able to interact with your colleagues and friends more freely.

I hope the above suggestions will prove beneficial in achieving your weight loss goals. I encourage you to challenge your own limits, embrace your true self, overcome your current challenges, and embrace a healthier, more fulfilling version of yourself.

Hello!

Host:

I read the post carefully. The poster has suffered a lot over the years. They have also sought help on the platform. This will help us understand ourselves and make appropriate adjustments.

Next, I'll share my thoughts in the post, which may help you see yourself differently.

1. Feedback from others isn't always correct.

The post reminded me of a true story. A boy was told he was stupid at school because his writing style was unique.

He agreed with them and thought he was stupid.

He transferred to a new school and had a new teacher. The teacher read his writing and said it was unique. He didn't believe it because he thought the teacher would think he was stupid.

The new teacher treated him differently.

This made him think, "I need to find out if I'm stupid or not." So he worked hard and got into a good university.

I tell this story to inspire and make you think. I believe that feedback from others often doesn't reflect who we really are.

Everyone has limits and frustrations. They don't know how to deal with negative emotions. They're just ordinary people. Think about whether their comments and feedback are true.

2. As children, we learned about ourselves from others.

Next, let's talk about why we care about other people's opinions.

This is normal. As kids, we didn't know ourselves, so we needed others to tell us who we were.

Our nurturers gave us good feedback: they accepted us, affirmed us, and appreciated us. We felt good about ourselves.

If the feedback is bad, we may think it is too. When we were young, we could not take care of ourselves or survive. We needed to rely on our caregivers.

If the nurturer doesn't care about us, we may not be able to live. If the nurturer's feedback on us is mostly negative, the child will often have a fear of being abandoned and a sense of insecurity. However, we can take care of ourselves now that we are getting older.

We can look back on our childhood to see if our parents were unhealthy. When we realize which experiences affected us, we can start to change.

3. Take responsibility for your life.

We explore our family of origin and our growth experiences to understand them, not to blame. If we blame, we cannot be happy. When we blame others, we give them power over us.

We have missed out on the chance to grow. Our experiences have affected us, but they are only experiences. When we seek help and take responsibility for our lives, we can take control.

There's no perfect family, but there can be a good us. Learn some psychology to help you.

4. Love yourself.

You said no one likes you. You also feel inferior and anxious. This may not be your fault.

Both people in a relationship are responsible for it. People prefer to hang out with people like themselves.

If others don't like us, it may be because we're different. There's more than one type of person, just like there are different types of trees.

We need to accept this. Even if others don't like us, we can still like and love ourselves.

Others are uncontrollable, and if you don't like yourself, it's hard for others to like you. People who don't like themselves don't accept and love themselves enough.

You can only accept and love others if you accept and love yourself. The same goes for appreciation.

If we accept and love ourselves, we will feel worthy and confident. We can improve in this way.

I hope this helps and inspires you.

It was tough, and you really wanted to be accepted, understood, and have someone to keep you company for such a long time.

I understand your feelings very well. Come to the platform, ask questions, and we'll make a change. Let's take a look at what has led us to this situation and how we can change it.

You said you've never been liked since you were a child. Looking at the whole text, it's clear you're turning feelings into self-suggestion. You're constantly experiencing the same feelings, reinforcing this conclusion. This makes the two mutually causal and unbreakable.

I am "unpopular," and I am sensitive. I attribute my own interpretations to the reactions of the people around me.

When others approach me, I am scared and resist. I am uncomfortable and want to hide because I am not welcome. My accent and language are proof of this.

Let's be real, switching from your usual environment to a new one is bound to be a bit uncomfortable. It's a universal experience because when you leave what you know and enter an unfamiliar space, you have to be cautious and take your time to make sure everything's safe before you relax.

It's like entering a dark house. You won't act immediately. You'll explore carefully and observe slowly.

But for you, careful exploration, there will also be a situation in which speech and language will lead to poor communication. If you also have some inferiority complex, this situation will be exacerbated: what I say, others don't understand; if I'm not there, it's all the same; I'm not sure of my existence here; I'm definitely not welcome.

The teacher forbade you to play games. I sat on the side eating and I didn't play with you.

It may have been one thing, but you remember it very deeply. This is called memory bias. Based on my clinical experience, I was treated differently and not liked. With this theme in mind, you will choose to strengthen memories related to this content. In objective fact, there should be more than just a teacher in your life. There should also be scenes of playing with friends. You just can't remember it.

I am not good at interacting with others.

You may think that someone wants to get close to you, but because of your nervousness, tension, or avoidance, you don't send out the right signals. This makes it seem like you are cold and distant.

Take, for instance, the countless TV and movie examples of students who transfer to a new school. They're typically quiet and reserved, yet their classmates can't help but keep an eye on them. Some try to befriend them, while others try to provoke them. Regardless, they're impossible to ignore and everyone wants to interact with them.

My parents picked me up relatively late, which added to the teacher's workload. It was only natural that the teacher would say something in response. This was a natural reaction on the teacher's part. It was feedback to my parents for picking me up, but the feedback was intended for my parents, not for me.

But you will interpret it as the teacher "not liking me" because I caused him trouble, and my parents don't like me either because they won't pick me up after school. This still supports your argument above: they don't like me. I have so much evidence.

I know I'm not liked, so I'll hide, show as little as possible, and interact with others as little as possible. You didn't say this, but I can guess: in school and in life, you are most likely to be – whenever I have to go on stage, I'll back away, and I'll silently pray that no one sees me and doesn't call on me.

In this situation, a few classmates sitting next to you know you are there, but those farther away—two or three groups away—don't know I have this classmate because my sense of presence is too low.

See, I want to know if I'm liked.

Let's get back to the objective. I want to know if I'm definitely unpopular.

I want to know if there are any kids around who are still talkative and willing to show off after being criticized.

I want to know if there is a type of child who is very good but also gets scolded.

Let's be honest. Sometimes you want to do something well, but you don't. Is it always the other person's fault? Absolutely not.

You are aware of this situation, which is related to your early growth and experiences. The overall keywords are low self-esteem, avoidant attachment, and emotional sensitivity.

Of course, you still interact with others.

No one is an island. We are members of a social group, and our very existence is linked to society. We must interact with others in social interactions, give and receive emotions, contribute value, and experience love and being loved.

You can change your situation.

1. I will process past negative emotions and reassure the inner child that I am "unloved" (past memories, the above-mentioned memory bias).

2. Change perception: (If my parents didn't pick me up in time, it doesn't mean I'm not liked.)

3. Release the corresponding emotions. I am likely feeling rejected and unloved.

4. Take action. (Show kindness to people you don't know.)

5. Accept your weaknesses and affirm your strengths.

There is a lot of homework to do. Be patient and seek systematic help as much as possible. It will take time, energy, and commitment to experience what you have only heard about. Let the counselor accompany you!

Hug the original poster. You will feel warmth and support, and my answer will help you.

The past will have a profound impact on us, but we must not be afraid or discouraged. We can and will grow through our adjustments and efforts, and we will gain a calm and contented heart. I want to tell you very, very, very definitely: it is not your fault, and your very existence is valuable!

I advise you to:

You are not to blame, and you can change.

From your description, it's clear you experienced neglect, scolding, and worry as a child. These patterns are still being repeated, making it evident that people are extremely fearful, unable to communicate normally with others, and prone to anxiety and inferiority complexes. Hugging you again, I want to be clear that it's not your fault. Your experiences have made you a little afraid of others, insecure in relationships, and lack confidence in yourself.

It's time to stop denying and attacking ourselves. We need to understand ourselves, accept this true self, see what kind of person we really are, why we are like this, and how we can adjust and improve our situation. Many people are just like you, and their childhood experiences were not happy. But this did not determine their state for the rest of their lives. We can do this. We can start by learning to accept ourselves, seeing our own merits and values, and then, through constant self-motivation and using our strengths to give full play to our value, we can gain a peaceful state of mind and a wonderful life.

You must believe in your own value. First, understand and accept yourself. Stop attacking and blaming yourself. Let the voices that blame and attack yourself fade away. Let the voices that encourage and support yourself grow stronger. If you don't know how to encourage and support yourself, read the book Rebuilding Your Life. It has many self-support exercises that can help you learn to encourage and affirm yourself.

2. Accept the past and the limitations of family members and teachers. We cannot change the past, but we can change our attitude towards it.

The past is the past. If you keep dwelling on it, you'll never move forward. Look back on your past experiences and see how your upbringing and life circumstances have shaped you. This is a great way to understand yourself. But don't blame or complain about your parents and teachers. Even if you do, you can't change them. It'll just drain your energy and leave you stuck.

It's important to recognize that parents and teachers are ordinary people with limitations. They can't do everything, and they often act within the scope of their capabilities and perspectives. However, we often have higher expectations of them. For example, we wouldn't ask a beggar for a large amount of gold. They can only give us what they have, and there's no way they can give us what we expect if it's beyond their capabilities.

Let me be clear: I am not saying that you should endure the grievances and anger you have felt in the past. You can and should release and relieve these suppressed grievances and emotions. Write them out in a therapeutic way, or release your anger through the empty chair technique. Let go of some obsessions and focus your energy on things that are more important to you. Practice self-affirmation, give full play to your own value, accomplish your goals, constantly improve your inner strength, become more and more confident. Break the current vicious cycle.

3. Build inner strength and self-confidence in any way you see fit.

We can and will overcome our self-doubt and become confident. Believe in this, and then take action, experience, and grow. You will succeed.

From now on, write down one of your strengths every day. Start by identifying your own strengths and values. If you can't think of one, ask someone you know to name one of your strengths. Be sure to write it down every day so you can see that you have your own strengths and advantages.

Instead of focusing on your shortcomings, focus on your strengths and do more of the things you are good at. Don't take it for granted—give yourself encouragement and affirmation.

Set goals that are challenging but achievable. Every day, challenge yourself to do something you can accomplish through your own efforts. Once you've finished, give yourself a check mark and praise yourself. Seeing your efforts and persistence, tell yourself: I am valuable, I can do it, I believe in myself, and I can achieve my goals through my hard work.

However, when setting goals, you must be careful not to set an unattainable goal for yourself. This will only lead to frustration and self-doubt. Set a goal that is challenging but achievable through your own efforts.

If you're currently walking 3,000 steps a day, setting a goal of 10,000 is a mistake. Set a goal of 3,200 to 3,500 instead. You can achieve it through your own efforts. Once you've done it for a week in a row, reward yourself. This will keep you motivated to keep going.

Break through your own limits and grow yourself. You will gain abilities and experience, and you will become more confident.

This is for your reference. Best wishes!

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

I want to hug you because I see how sad you are. You've had more setbacks than most, but it's not your fault. Some people just don't value the same things you do.

Some children don't want to play with the questioner even in kindergarten. The questioner thinks it's because of her accent, but children don't reject anyone. The teacher's attitude affects children more than the child's attitude. The source of the questioner's problems is her parents' attitude towards her.

Attachment to the caregiver

As children, we form four types of attachment with our caregivers: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. When we have needs and our parents give us love and respond to us, we are more likely to form a secure attachment.

The questioner was very sensible during their upbringing. They were told not to do things, but they didn't do them. They didn't take the initiative. They thought that if they were obedient, their parents would love them. But they were still scolded and made angry. They became anxious and doubted themselves.

If we couldn't form a secure attachment, we can change the limitations brought by our original family. When we were young, we couldn't face it. By learning about related materials, we can heal and free ourselves from our original family.

Separate the issues.

The questioner is the child of his parents, but you are first and foremost yourself. Everyone is an independent individual, and everyone has their own life lessons to learn. Judging from the actions of the questioner's parents, they have not learned very well, so they cannot raise the questioner well.

We must let our parents grow up and separate from us. We must know that they are their own people and that we are ours. We must understand that they are not us and that we are not them. We must not let their mistakes affect us.

I still have a lot to do and a lot of lives to live. I will spend less time with them and try to grow up.

Change yourself slowly.

The questioner feels that people are unfriendly. He has tried to fit in, but has found it even more difficult. He is afraid of being hurt again, so he hides.

Some people are born salespeople. They have the nerve and the talent. But they also work hard and learn.

The questioner is afraid of integrating because he encounters unfriendly people. The more afraid he is, the less he tries to change. Life will stay the same. It may be difficult at first, but believe in yourself. We give ourselves time and can take it slowly. Even if there is only a little change over a long period of time, it is a change.

1. Affirm yourself: When we think we can't do something well, we often can't. Praise yourself every day for something different. You can do it in front of a mirror or record it on your phone. Affirming yourself will increase your self-confidence.

2. Learn from "You Are the Answer" and "It's Not Your Fault." Read these books carefully. The examples and analyses are easy to understand. Learning can help you understand the problem and how to solve it.

3. The more setbacks, the more courage. When the questioner tries to fit in, everyone's rejection makes them timid. Have they ever thought that most people are like this? Is there a big gap between their desire to fit in and their own values?

A world that doesn't suit you doesn't need to force you. Observe more, get in touch with kind and positive people. Don't convince yourself you can be fine alone. We need social interaction. Don't be afraid of rejection. Believe in yourself. You will have what you want.

I hope this helps the original poster. Best wishes.

Classmate, I offer you a warm embrace, hoping to bring you a little sunshine.

From what you have shared, it seems that you may have been a left-behind child when you were young. Given that you rarely communicated with your parents, it is possible that you felt very insecure, which could have led to feelings of sensitivity, inferiority, and timidity.

Everyone is born the same, and we cannot choose our life circumstances. However, we can choose our attitude towards life. Often, your feelings may not be real, but just imagined by you. You are used to shutting yourself in and labeling yourself as not good enough. Perhaps it would be helpful to consider making some changes:

1. Consider embracing reality and accepting yourself.

I truly believe that you can find a way to make yourself better. Just keep at it, because if you bloom, the butterflies will come.

2. Consider removing the label and embracing your true identity.

You are just like everyone else: a normal and lovely child with your own unique interests. Perhaps you could start by finding a little friend who shares your interests.

3. Consider reading more and traveling more.

I encourage you to explore different worlds and expand your knowledge. This will help you understand that you are unique and have your own set of advantages. You will also discover that the world is beautiful and that the difficulties you encounter are surmountable.

Hello!

Painful experiences in childhood can affect how you grow as a person. Your childhood has had an impact on you, but you can't dwell on the past. It's better to face your past than avoid it.

People with avoidant personalities have low self-esteem and avoid social interaction. This is because they evaluate themselves based on how others see them, which can lead to negative self-perceptions. Over time, this can cause them to become more withdrawn and have low self-esteem.

Your self-confidence is being worn down by negativity. The social environment, pressure of life, and employment competition are high, and everyone is required to become better. Many people feel inferior. Don't worry; you are not alone. You just need ways to relieve it.

Believe that you can do anything if you put your mind to it. When you feel inadequate, boost your confidence by saying, "I will succeed!"

You can do it!

Second, you need to understand yourself better and think more positively about yourself. This will help you to feel better about yourself.

Know your strengths and celebrate your achievements. Don't compare yourself to others. Improve your self-evaluation to boost confidence and overcome feelings of inferiority.

You can set goals to communicate with your family and friends. This will help you improve your social skills.

You can't change what happened in the past, but you can change who you are now and have a better future. Don't deny yourself. Everyone has a purpose. I hope these answers help you.

Good afternoon! I'm Meng Xiaoxiao, a student at YI Psychological Consulting. From your description, I can see your desire for interpersonal interaction and your low self-esteem after interpersonal relationship setbacks. I think the long-term loneliness must be very torturous for you. But don't worry! Here, I would like to give you a warm and understanding hug.

In your childhood memories, you often felt that you were not welcome by everyone. As a child, you couldn't find the reason. Now that you've grown up, we can explore this memory together! Sometimes what we see with our eyes is not always real. When we feel, we interpret the external stimuli and feedback to us with our own internal experience.

As you mentioned, you came from your hometown to study in an environment where you didn't understand the language, which made you feel lonely and helpless. You felt out of place, and so did your classmates, because they didn't know how to relate to you as a foreigner. Perhaps my guesses are not an accurate account of your experiences, and you can add to or correct what I've said. I'm excited to hear more about your experiences!

Your inner experiences have always affected your connection with the outside world, causing you to feel self-doubt and inferiority. But you can change this! The influence of your family environment may also have prevented you from learning how to deal with people. As an adult, you can look at what avenues are available in society to improve your interpersonal skills. The simplest and bravest way is to use the resources around you to practice and overcome your fears. It's just like learning English: at first we can't speak, then we can say words and sentences, and then we can have daily conversations. This is a process that requires you to settle yourself and let yourself grow slowly. And you can do it!

There are also some great formal platforms, interpersonal support groups, and workshops out there that can help you work through your confusion in a more professional setting.

I really hope my answer will inspire you! You are worth every expectation, the world, and I love you!

My dear child, I give you a big hug. I really feel for you. You haven't done anything wrong, sweetheart. You've just suffered from neglect and arrogance from all sides, which has led to your current anxiety/it-is-very-stressful-to-go-from-being-a-staff-member-to-a-manager-what-should-i-do-about-my-inferiority-complex-and-anxiety-24215.html" target="_blank">inferiority complex and anxiety.

I really feel for you, my friend.

I just want to let you know that you are totally worthy of getting involved with anyone, and you are definitely not worthless.

From what you've told me, it seems like you're a cautious child who feels a bit inferior because your classmates and teachers don't pay much attention to you. It's also clear that you're worried that your parents don't want you and that you live in fear every day. I'm here to give you another hug and comfort your wounded heart.

I truly believe your parents love you. Otherwise, they wouldn't have brought you from your hometown in the countryside to live with them for school. There are so many children left behind in the countryside. You are so lucky to be able to go to your parents!

It's just that parents are busy making a living and running around, and they may not be able to take care of you sometimes. But it's not that they don't love you; it's just that the way they love you may not be the way you want. Many parents treat their children a bit simplistically, thinking that since they gave birth to you, they love you. And since they raised you and provided you with a good education and life, they don't think it affects the relationship with their children if they scold you a bit and let you take the brunt of it.

There are so many parents like this, and your parents are no exception! Even if they scold you, they'll never think of giving you up.

If they don't want you, it might be better to stay in the countryside. First of all, you must be confident in your parents' love for you.

I remember reading a story about a man who, when he was 20, glared at his father when he hit him; when he was 30, he just kept a cold face; when he was 40, he smiled at his father when he hit him; and when he was 50, no one hit him anymore, so he cried bitterly. It's a sad story, but it shows how things can change in a relationship between parents and children.

So, my dear children, understand this and you will not be afraid. You are never alone, for you have your mother and father.

I can see how you might feel like no one at school plays with you and the teachers ignore you. Have you ever thought about how your classmates might feel? When you were young and didn't know any better, it's true that you might have had a superior attitude towards children with an accent or limited exposure.

It's a sad fact that teachers often pay the most attention to children who are either exceptionally good or exceptionally naughty. This means that the well-behaved children in the middle often end up being ignored. It's not that teachers are neglecting these children, but because they're well-behaved, teachers feel relieved and don't spend as much energy on them.

This is also something that many teachers have to deal with, and it's not your fault. Of course, I'm not saying that the teacher is wrong. Teachers are also people, and they have limited energy. So you save your energy for the teacher, and the teacher should thank you. Maybe she doesn't understand this today, but I believe you have the ability to make her think of you in a positive way in the future, and that would make me really happy.

My dear child, you are a kind and good boy. When you go through those unpleasant experiences, you don't think about what's wrong with other people. You first think about whether there is something wrong with yourself. From your ability to introspect, you can see that you are a good boy. I know you will definitely have the world you want!

I really hope these suggestions will help you!

As the saying goes, you have to earn your way in the world, and you can't do that without a little bit of hard work. The same goes for dignity. How do you gain dignity?

You are strong enough, mentally and physically.

1. Set small goals for your studies and future career, and work hard to achieve them. I know studying is hard work, but I truly believe you can see results after just a month or two.

If you stick with it for a year, you'll be amazed at what you can achieve. And if you keep going for three years, you'll be well on your way to reaching all your goals. Speak with conviction and show them that you are not inferior to anyone.

To gain respect, you just need to act in a way that shows you deserve it. We can't make others respect us, but we can stand tall and be a good example for others to follow.

2. Read more healthy books, science, literature, and geography magazines. As you read, you'll gradually accumulate knowledge. You'll find yourself drawn to certain books and areas of knowledge. When you have accumulated enough knowledge, you'll realize that other people's attitudes towards you are no longer important. You don't need to blend in with others; others will come to you.

3. If you need a little extra help, you can go to the platform to receive psychological counseling for a certain period of time. The professionals there will be happy to help you overcome your current psychological fears and learn and live more easily.

I truly believe in you! Best of luck!

Is it your fault that no one likes you? You're rejected by your teachers and hated by your classmates. I see a wounded child, asking himself, "If it's not my fault, why don't they like me?"

If it's my fault, am I really hated?

Am I worthless?

How long have you been torturing yourself? You ask, "Why can't people accept themselves? Why do they treat me this way?"

The world is unfair. Don't torture yourself. Love yourself.

When everyone says they don't love me, I'll hug myself and remember I'm special and have a purpose.

When I don't give up, no one can.

Your self-denial and self-criticism won't improve your relationships. They'll make you despise yourself.

Tell yourself, "How will I like myself tomorrow?" Start now. More people will like you soon.

Hello, question asker. I see you're confused. Hugs!

You have some interpersonal problems. Please let me give you a hug.

You are not useless.

You know you should ask questions here when you have a problem.

You may have been traumatized by being rejected by your teacher and hated by your classmates when you were a child.

You became afraid of communicating with others.

If you don't communicate, you won't be hurt.

It's your body's way of protecting you.

What should you do?

I suggest you see a psychologist to help you deal with being rejected by teachers and hated by classmates at school.

She can give you advice from a third-party perspective without judgment.

This bad experience in school is not your fault.

I hope you can solve your problem soon.

Now I can only think of these things.

I hope my answer helps and inspires you. I am the answer, and I study hard every day.

Yixinli loves you! Best wishes!

Hello. Thanks for your question. I'm a listener at One Psychology.

You've suffered a lot since you were young. You think no one likes you or wants to play with you. Maybe at school, you encounter bullies. They may do it because they want to.

They didn't know they were bullying you.

Do you have problems with others? Do you feel lonely? Do you want someone to be with you?

Do you want friends? We've already caused each other pain. We can't forget, and we can't ask you to forget. You were hurt.

Do we have to hate ourselves and others for the next few decades?

You can improve your relationships with others. You might think, "Why should I change? Why can't they accept me?" You're a good person. You should be accepted. Everyone has been isolated and disliked at some point. Some people don't know what good relationships are.

From now on, be honest, think about others, and give more. Your character will grow. In a year or three, you'll have friends. When others trust you, you'll have more friends. You'll feel the benefits of good relationships.

Building relationships takes time. People have to accept and like you. You have to build connections and trust. The world and I love you.

Hello, sweetheart. I'm Zhang Huili. I read your text and I want to hug you. I love you.

I read your writing online and I'm curious, concerned, and impressed.

You like being alone and reading. You can learn and express yourself well. Am I right?

I'm not a fortune teller, but I know that our wounds often hide our talents. You experienced separation in your childhood. Before you could let go of leaving your hometown, you had to enter a completely unfamiliar environment and face challenges. I guess you must have been a carefree little cutie who loved to sing and laugh.

The new environment has language and cultural barriers. The interpersonal interaction model may also cause distress. You are strong for coming here.

Hug you and give you a thumbs-up.

TCM says the kidneys control fear. Do you have cold hands and feet, living in fear of being abandoned all year round? Do you feel inferior, and do you have symptoms of disharmony in the spleen and stomach?

Are you sensitive to others' reactions? Don't worry, EFT can help.

Emotions cause illness, and illness brings change. Everything is fine.

Lack of self-esteem (spleen meridian)

The emotions connected with the spleen meridian include a lack of self-esteem, fear, weakness, a lack of drive, dependence, insecurity, hopelessness, and worry. You lack a positive feeling about yourself and have negative beliefs.

People who believe this seize every opportunity to reinforce their inferiority complex and sabotage their own success. We have chosen to work on this subject in this life.

To accomplish this, we must replace low self-esteem with self-esteem, assertiveness, defending ourselves, setting boundaries, being at ease with being seen as selfish, and have complete confidence in the future.

[Your exercise]

Breathe deeply and relax. Think about situations that make you feel low.

Then tap Dazhui (GV 24) while visualizing different behaviors and reactions. What would you say?

What qualities do you need to feel good about yourself? Repeat this exercise until you notice that what you have been visualizing is happening in your life.

This is possible. It's one way to create what you want.

While tapping the points, say the following:

I love and accept myself in all situations. My self-worth and self-esteem grow every day.

I choose to take control and set limits.

You can talk to me about it. Together, we can help you, make the world a better place, and remember that the world and I love you.

Hello, my dear one. I'm Fly, your heart coach.

It has been challenging for you to receive physical affection from your loved ones over the years, and you have experienced a great deal of unfairness and pressure.

It seems that you have experienced a number of unfair treatments from parents, teachers, and classmates, whether at school or at home. It is understandable that your life has been marked by a lack of warmth and positive interactions, and that you have faced a number of challenges.

It is understandable that these painful experiences still linger in your heart, making you feel inferior and fearful in social interactions, affecting your studies and life, and even causing self-doubt and self-negation. Let's take a look at the problem and the solution together.

?1. How might we approach the challenge of navigating unpleasant experiences from our childhood and the influence of our parents?

As you mentioned, moving from your hometown to a new kindergarten was a challenging experience. On the one hand, you were not used to the new environment. On the other hand, the children rejected your dialect, and the teacher isolated you from other children, which made you feel a great sense of loneliness and fear.

Given that separation can be a daunting experience, particularly for a young child, it's understandable that you might still be learning how to navigate unfamiliar environments and interactions.

Your parents' late pick-ups not only cause you worry and concern about being criticized and blamed by your teachers, but also instill a constant fear of being abandoned by your parents.

Your parents' parenting style could perhaps be improved. It seems to be full of criticism, blame, and negation, which may be undermining your sense of security and worth.

In junior high and high school, you felt like you were overlooked and undervalued. It seemed like your needs weren't being met, and you felt like you were struggling to find your way in a world that seemed to be constantly changing.

My dear, you are not to blame. When you were young, you lacked the strength and ability to care for and protect yourself, and your parents were unsure of how to love and protect you in the best way.

They were simply trying to protect you in their own way, without realizing that their actions may have caused you some harm.

The teacher may have kept you separate from the other children because she was concerned about their reactions and your comfort. Children can be quite direct in their communication. The teacher may have expressed frustration with your parents for picking you up late because she was feeling sorry for you, the only child waiting there.

It's possible that your parents may scold and blame you because they are busy and stressed, and they may unintentionally take out their emotions on you, the innocent bystander. However, it is important to remember that this is not your fault.

It is important to remember that parents and teachers are adults, and like anyone, they have their limitations. While actions that cause harm are wrong, it is crucial to recognize that there is often a good intention behind them. They love you and want to protect you, and this should be acknowledged.

It might be helpful to consider the actions of parents and teachers separately from their identity. Showing understanding for their actions could help you detach yourself from these wrongdoings. You are worthy of love, respect, and trust, and these are not your fault.

When we see and accept our parents' imperfections, we also achieve self-redemption. Holding on to the past and dwelling on it may not be the most constructive approach. It can sometimes feel as though we are punishing ourselves for the mistakes of others.

Just imagine for a moment that innocent child standing in front of you. He was only criticized and scolded by his parents when he was a child, but you have been "scolding" that child for many years.

?2. Try to be your own strongest supporter and enhance your sense of self-worth.

It is inevitable that we all grow up, whether we are aware of it or not. This process often brings about a range of emotions, including feelings of loneliness and apprehension about navigating interpersonal relationships.

Parents, as important others, may not have provided you with the sense of security and worth you need through unconditional love and acceptance, constant praise and recognition. Now that you are an adult, you have the opportunity to provide yourself with the psychological nourishment you need for healthy physical and mental growth as your own important other.

In her book, "You Should Fly to Your Mountain Like a Bird," Tara shares her personal journey of self-growth and self-redemption. Despite facing challenges from her family and parents for 15 years, Tara was able to gradually separate from them through reading and learning.

I believe that you can too, and that this is true for everyone else too. I think that every life deserves respect, and that every person deserves acceptance.

First and foremost, it is essential to recognize that this person must be ourselves. If we fail to recognize and accept ourselves, it becomes challenging to expect recognition and acceptance from others.

You might also find it helpful to read a book called Psychological Nutrition by Lin Wencai. It teaches you how to nourish yourself and gain the ability to love and connect with others.

We all experience feelings of inadequacy from time to time, and it can take a while to reassess our self-perception. This process can ultimately lead to personal growth and the ability to live a fulfilling life.

"I am a life, and I believe that I need love, that I deserve to be loved, that I should have faith, that I should meet challenges, that I should believe in myself, that I should face the sunshine, that I should be confident, and that I should be happy. I want to live my life to the fullest."

Dear you, Please know that you are not alone. At least on the Yi Xin platform, you will find people who are ready to accompany you, people who will support you, and people who will empathize with you.

I hope these words are helpful to you, and that you feel loved by the world and by me.

If you would like to continue the conversation, you are welcome to click on "Find a Coach" in the lower right corner to chat.