Now facing great challenges, how do you find your courage again?

Based on your question, I can give you a few suggestions to think about.

I think of life as a sine or cosine function, rising and falling like waves. The low periods in life are often the best times for us to transform and grow.

During such times, we feel lost, unsure of ourselves, and hesitant to move forward. We're uncertain about the future and what it holds, and we're unsure of our abilities, our goals, and how to achieve them. Without a clear direction, it's like a sailboat at sea without a compass.

During these times, I think there are three things we can and should do.

The first thing we need to do is think about the meaning and purpose of life.

What you like, what you want, and what you want to become—it's all fine. It's your pursuit and your goal.

If you don't want anything and don't want to pursue anything, you can go out and see more, see the beauty of the world, listen to the beautiful sounds of the world, and perhaps in the midst of chance you will find your own pursuits and goals.

Dong Qing said that the best part of life is the mystery of it all, and that we just have to put in the work.

Yes, that's right. People feel confused and in pain because they're uncertain about the future and about life in general. They're overwhelmed by complexity and torn between conflicting choices. This is just how life is.

Life is full of challenges and complexities.

The second thing is to have the courage to face it head on.

You said you want to gain courage from others, but you're also afraid of becoming too dependent on them.

Yes, in life we're not always as strong as we'd like to be, and in many cases we need the help of others to get through difficult times. But the only person in the world who can really help us get through difficult times is ourselves. We have to be the ones who create our own courage, not rely on others to do it for us.

You want someone who can encourage and support you, and I think that's the courage you want.

You want to gain strength from others, but you're afraid of becoming too dependent on them. What should you do in this situation?

I think the first thing is that you have to understand that other people are not your dependence. You can gain strength from them, and they should also gain strength from you. Both parties should help each other. This is the essence.

When you're interacting with others, it's important to first establish common ground. It's like investing in a product: you need to examine the quality, appearance, practical value, customer reviews, and market potential of the product itself.

When you make friends, you can say that you want to invest in the relationship. You have to be optimistic about the other person before you get involved. And how do you become optimistic about the other person?

I think the first thing is that you should have common ground to talk about. You have similar backgrounds.

There's a feeling that this is meant to be.

Second, you should be tolerant, respectful, and willing to listen and understand each other.

And as we move forward in our commitment, we'll undoubtedly face challenges, disagreements, and obstacles. When these arise, it's essential to identify solutions that work for us.

Scott Peck, a well-known American psychologist, said that if you don't show your true self, it will destroy you.

In life, we have to be brave enough to show who we really are and let go of the things holding us back. Only then can we step out of our comfort zone and see the bigger, better world out there.

I think that in life, you can reflect on the meaning of value and that's enough to make one or two close friends.

I'd also like to suggest a book for you to read: The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck.

Scott Peck

I hope that after reading it, you'll find the courage to make a change.

Greetings, inquirer. My name is Yang Yiqing, a listener on the Yi Xinli platform.

In light of your inquiry, I am compelled to engage in discourse with you, with the aim of providing you with a source of comforting companionship and assistance.

From your description, it appears that you are a person who is fearful and unable to take a courageous step forward in the face of the vast ocean and sky. It seems that there is always some invisible force pulling you back, preventing you from taking a single step.

In light of the aforementioned details, it is this writer's estimation that the following suggestions may prove beneficial:

Firstly, it is important to recognise that strength is an intrinsic quality, originating from within.

An egg that breaks from the inside out hatches into a chick; if it breaks from the outside in, it becomes a delicacy on the dinner table. The power from the inside out is the power of life, the power of growth.

One must first inquire as to why such external power is so necessary and from what source this notion originates.

Please describe the methods you have employed to cope with difficulties and challenges in your life thus far.

The absence of external strength precludes the development of courage to confront challenges. This behavior may be perceived as cowardice and as a means of deflecting responsibility onto others. The underlying assumption is that external strength is a prerequisite for success.

In this manner, one may ascribe failure to external factors and thereby avoid the consequences of one's actions.

Consequently, in order to become strong, it is essential to assume responsibility for one's own success. It is imperative to recognize that one is the primary source of support and reliability.

[Advice and Methods]

One should endeavor to undertake some modest challenges that extend beyond one's comfort zone.

On a daily basis, it is recommended that an individual engage in self-reflection by stating, "I can do it!" This practice, which draws upon positive psychology, can serve as a catalyst for fostering resilience and determination.

It is essential to explore one's own abilities in order to identify the source of one's inner strength.

2. If one is fearful of losing, one is less likely to initiate action.

The fear of losing support prevents the development of an intimate relationship. Similarly, the fear of flowers withering prevents the planting of any flowers.

In this world, nothing is ever stable or unchanging. Those who are afraid of losing something will never begin. They will miss out on many opportunities and experiences, and they will remain in a state of passive acceptance, allowing others to come and go while they themselves are unable to take action.

This is, in fact, a manifestation of low self-esteem and insecurity. What is feared more is the passive loss and the feeling and experience of being abandoned.

It is possible that this is a consequence of experiences in the individual's early life, resulting in an unconscious belief that relying on others is a catastrophic decision.

[Advice and Methods] Ultimately, the individual in question requires a sense of self-assurance derived from an intrinsic source and a capacity for interpersonal influence.

It is recommended that you engage in an activity on a daily basis that you find enjoyable and that will foster self-confidence.

It is recommended that you attempt to decline relationships that are not to your liking in order to develop a sense of control.

3. It is recommended that you seek the assistance of a qualified professional.

From the description of your question, it is evident that there are numerous unresolved internal issues. It is important to note that a Q&A platform may not be the optimal avenue for addressing these complex matters. Learning psychology on one's own and seeking self-help is a valuable approach. However, if resources are available, it is advisable to seek professional assistance for a comprehensive analysis and resolution of the problem, which can facilitate more expedient progress and a more definitive solution.

I wish you the best of success.

Should you have any further questions or wish to continue this discussion, I would be delighted to hear from you. With best wishes,