Only a few days left until the college entrance examination, and I've fallen in love with an imaginary boy. What should I do?

Dear Question Asker,

The questioner is a high school graduate this year, which is a significant achievement. Additionally, he is considered a special student due to his enrollment coinciding with the onset of the pandemic. The pandemic has persisted for three years, significantly impacting students' academic pursuits.

First and foremost, I extend my best wishes to the original poster, hoping that she will one day "ride the wind and waves, set sail, and cross the sea." Regardless of circumstances, it is imperative to strive diligently and avoid dwelling on past actions. (◕‿‿◕).◕

The questioner became pregnant with a male fetus in the third year of junior high school. This male infant is notably exceptional, excelling not only in his academic pursuits but also attending the most esteemed high school in the city. Additionally, he is highly considerate and attentive. When the questioner experiences discomfort, he provides comfort in a gentle and patient manner. Despite the fact that this male infant is a product of the questioner's imagination, she relies on him significantly and even contemplates the possibility of his existence in a parallel universe.

It is not implausible that such a phenomenon could occur. The concept of falling in love at first sight is a common one, and it is thought to result from the meeting of one's idealised version of another person and the prior formation of an image of that person in one's mind. When one encounters the actual person, the feeling of familiarity can be strong, as though one has already met them. In such cases, the person in question may be regarded as the long-awaited other half, as exemplified by the story of Brother Bao and Sister Lin.

The questioner indicated that when they envision themselves on vacation, they anticipate meeting "him." Despite recognizing that he is a mere construct of their imagination, they nevertheless look forward to encountering him during their vacation. This anticipation evokes a sense of joy and relaxation. Consequently, it prompts the question of who the questioner might encounter in reality after their vacation.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether the questioner has any other individuals in their life with whom they share similar feelings, such as a loved one or friend. If such individuals are not present, it would be advantageous to facilitate a relaxed and happy atmosphere during the holiday season. It is possible that the questioner is merely using "him" as a metaphor for their longing for the holidays.

The questioner indicated that their high school experience was characterized by feelings of depression and a lack of social connections. It appears that the questioner exhibits introverted tendencies and may face challenges in engaging with their classmates. In such circumstances, the questioner's emotions often seek an outlet. When the questioner is unable to express them outwardly, they may develop and construct a private world, forming a spiritual pillar that they recognize. This spiritual pillar can be either a tangible or an imagined entity, as long as it provides comfort and support.

The questioner indicated that she appeared to have developed an infatuation for the individual in question and was uncertain about how to proceed. It is not uncommon for individuals to experience such feelings towards someone who is perceived as exceptional, even if the relationship began at an early age.

At the very least, he can serve as a source of mental support, comfort, stress relief, and a potential means of alleviating depression. It is not inherently problematic to have his company. Since his conception, it may be beneficial to engage with him in the virtual realm. He can be conceptualized as a person in an alternative reality, and we can interact with him mentally, though we cannot meet him in person.

The questioner indicated that this situation has already begun to affect his life. It would be beneficial to ascertain whether this is due to a perception of dependency, or if there are other contributing factors.

In Goethe's "The Sorrows of Young Werther," the author posits that every handsome young man is in love and that every young girl is in love with someone. This assertion reflects a fundamental truth about human nature. It is not uncommon for individuals to envision an exceptional male figure as a romantic partner. In some cases, this vision may materialize in the form of a future college classmate.

Therefore, it is advisable for the questioner not to dwell excessively on the matter. Given the elevated stress levels and emotional volatility that accompany the college entrance examination, it is understandable that anxiety may manifest to a certain extent. If there is an individual who is capable of alleviating the questioner's emotional state, it would be beneficial to seek their assistance.

Notwithstanding the fact that he is a fictional character,

With just over ten days remaining until the examination, it would be beneficial for the questioner to have the support of this positive figure as they enter the examination room. He will be able to provide comfort and reassurance to the questioner, who may be feeling nervous or anxious. His presence could also encourage the questioner to perform to the best of their abilities, potentially exceeding expectations.

Once the topic author has completed their college entrance examination, they may engage in further intellectual discourse with the original author. This period of recuperation may be utilized for the purpose of composing a narrative. The author is encouraged to write as much as they desire, whether it be a short story or a novel. Should any questions arise during the writing process, the author is invited to revisit the psychological platform to seek guidance or advice. At that time, the topic author may inquire about the "excellent boy" once more, if they so desire.

Ultimately, I extend my sincerest wishes to the original poster for success in the college entrance examination and for the fulfillment of all his aspirations.

Dear questioner, I am writing in response to your question.

You said you fell in love with a fantasy person. This is normal. Most of us are in love with the person in our fantasies, not the person in the real world. You are lonely and don't get along with your classmates. This causes you to imagine a relationship with an imaginary person. This person feels like he is always there. However, he is just an obsession you like. He satisfies all your good impressions because you can't accept that he is imperfect. This also reflects that you don't accept yourself as you are. You have high standards for yourself that you don't meet. This seems to be similar to what you said. You regret not getting into the best high school. This has caused you to construct a perfect object. Even if he doesn't exist, you have made him your obsession and your spiritual pillar. You think he has now affected your life. This is not true. You need to adjust. How?

[1] Accept your imperfections. Everyone is a perfectionist, but some people attach more importance to some things than others. You've been admitted to the second-best high school in the city, and the past cannot be changed. Accept this fact and see what happens.

[2] Know the difference between feelings and the truth. When such a person appears in our minds, we must examine our feelings to determine if they are influencing us. If they are, we must view the situation from a third-party perspective and ascertain whether it is, in fact, the truth.

We must adjust ourselves and break away from the control we have imagined in our hearts.

[3] You can alleviate your loneliness and fear. These assumptions are due to real-life difficulties. For example, you are isolated and unsociable, and you encounter problems. Then we imagine a perfect person who gives us a sense of security and no longer makes us afraid. That is why he has such an existence. We can enrich our lives by doing things we like, such as reading our favorite books, watching our favorite movies, or doing something meaningful. After that, we won't feel so lonely and afraid.

I am confident that the above will be helpful to the questioner.

Greetings,

Consider the following scenario: an individual is in a romantic relationship with a man who displays affectionate behavior and emotional support. This relationship has a significant impact on the individual's life. What is the appropriate course of action in this situation?

Let us address this issue collectively.

This phenomenon is observed to occur with high frequency during adolescence and even among adults.

Psychoanalysis posits that during childhood, individuals are symbiotic and dependent on their mothers. As they mature and transition from childhood to adulthood, they gradually detach from their mothers, yet their hearts remain attached. This attachment gives rise to the formation of an alternative self within, which serves to replace the care and dependence previously provided by the mother.

This other self may be imagined as our future romantic partner or another individual. When experiencing loneliness, distress, and helplessness, we imagine them providing comfort and meeting our inner need for love and care.

In psychotherapy, it is also mentioned that when one is in a state of distress, one can engage in self-soothing behaviors such as embracing oneself with arms around the body, providing physical comfort through touch, and offering reassurances to oneself. These techniques are reminiscent of the comforting behaviors observed in early childhood, particularly in the context of maternal relationships.

Furthermore, the subject imagined the aforementioned individual as their romantic partner. Apart from one's parents, one's romantic partner is the individual with whom one shares the closest intimate relationship. Therefore, it is perfectly normal to engage in such imaginative processes.

When one accepts the situation, one does not engage in conflict with the images that arise in one's mind. To prevent these images from impeding one's actions, one can imagine saying goodbye to one's romantic partner, for example, "See you next time; I need to study now."

"And return to the state of reality."

As learning pressure and self-care ability improve, it is reasonable to posit that this phenomenon will also improve.

What recommendations can be made to enhance one's capacity to care for oneself? The following suggestions are recommended:

(1) It is recommended that students discuss their stress with their parents or other loved ones.

It is recommended that students share their stress and feelings with friends or loved ones. Parents who love their children will encourage and comfort them.

(2) Journaling is an effective method for processing thoughts and emotions.

The act of writing can serve as a self-healing method. One may consider documenting daily events, feelings, and coping mechanisms in a written format. After completing this exercise, it may be beneficial to assess whether one's mood has improved.

(3) Body relaxation exercises

One should focus on each part of the body, beginning with the head, and relax in a gradual, systematic manner. Alternatively, one can achieve relaxation through deep abdominal breathing, focusing on the inhalation and exhalation, and visualizing the intake of fresh air and the expulsion of stale air.

Additionally, exercise, such as stretching and running, can be employed as a means of relaxation.

(4) It is recommended that you attempt to satisfy your own needs.

For example, when an individual is experiencing illness, they may perceive a benefit in having someone to provide care and assistance. At this juncture, it may be valuable to assess one's capacity to care for themselves.

One may attempt to alleviate distress by pouring a glass of water and reassuring oneself with the following statement: "This is not a significant issue. Take medication, rest, and you will recover." When an individual feels capable of self-care, their inner strength gradually increases, and the frequency of anticipating the need to provide comfort to others declines.

This necessitates a gradual process of experiencing the situation in question.

The aforementioned suggestions are intended as a point of reference and are offered in the hope that they will prove beneficial.

Best wishes for success in your endeavors.

My dear, if I may be so bold, I would like to offer you a hug in the clouds. I share his high expectations for you as you prepare for the upcoming college entrance exam.

You are still able to distinguish between what has happened and what has not, and your current train of thought and state of mind are still very clear. I believe you are very rational, and I am confident that you will do well on the exam.

However, there is a possibility that he may appear at the same university as you, which could be an opportunity for you to be together. I hope you will believe that this love will exist. The influence he brings you is companionship, care, tenderness, and the positive energy that allows you to also strive to become as good as him. Nothing is impossible, as long as you always embrace and firmly believe in this love that is about to come to you in the world.

I can also empathize with your current emotional state. In the days leading up to the college entrance exam, you may be experiencing a sense of apprehension about potentially repeating the experience of missing out on the "number one" in the middle school entrance exam. You might also be feeling a sense of uncertainty about whether you will be able to achieve your "expected goal," which may be shaped by the high standards and expectations you have set for yourself.

Do you realize it? You are a perfectionist who is very demanding on yourself. I admire and appreciate you for it. In today's society, people who can always maintain high standards and strict requirements on themselves are very rare and precious.

I hope I'm making sense. You're very smart. You managed to get into the second-best high school in the city despite your lack of practice. Many of your classmates still lag far behind you, and they are not on the same level as you. This may be why you feel uncomfortable around them, and it also reflects your lonely and competitive spiritual world.

You might consider redirecting your emotions towards "him," for example:

If you find yourself missing him again and wanting to meet him, you might consider talking about your feelings with your trusted parents or sisters as a way of distracting yourself.

If you find yourself feeling lonely and missing him, you might like to try moving your body, taking action, or exercising to help distract your attention.

If you feel that your attention is being affected by thoughts of him, you might like to create a sound or tactile sensation to remind you to take a break.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to try to keep your focus on the present moment and the reality of the situation. It is important to accept that your love for him cannot be extinguished, and at the same time, to accept the fact that we are going to take the college entrance exam soon. Love can always exist, but the "focus on the college entrance exam and face it" that we have to do right now is a once-a-year opportunity.

Perhaps it would be helpful to focus on the reality of the present moment, to accept that your love for him cannot be extinguished, and to accept the fact that we are going to take the college entrance exam soon. While love can always exist, the "focus on the college entrance exam and face it" that we have to do right now is a once-a-year opportunity.

It is my sincere hope that the above has been helpful and inspiring.

I wish you the best of luck in the upcoming college entrance exam.

My name is Wenhuo, and I am here to support you and the world is here to support you too.

Hello, question asker!

Your question made me think about the confusion, anxiety, helplessness, and hopelessness that many high school seniors feel before the exam. I'm going to answer your question and do my best to help you prepare for the college entrance exam. First, I want to give you a hug!

We all know that the high school and college entrance exams are important milestones in life. They're challenging, but you can do it. You've been fantasizing about a boy since third year of junior high. He's been by your side for four years. This fantasy is valuable.

I am a goldfish. I once read a red book by the psychology master Carl Jung, and I have an answer for you. The psychology master said that there is a female soul in every male, and there is a male soul in every female. The male-female soul is called anima, and the female-male soul is called animus. I know what your fantasy of this boy really is: it is your male soul.

Your subconscious mind is powerful. You may be putting the theories of the masters into practice. The masters have said that we humans can only be complete people and lead normal lives and make life full of meaning if there is a soulmate.

I have confirmed the theory I read in Jung's Red Book with you. Without your fantasy about this boy, I wouldn't know how you would have spent these past four years. Look at you now! He has accompanied you through these past four years and helped you reach this stage of the college entrance exam.

You think you might become one with him and fall in love with him. I believe that if you take the master's point of view, he will truly become your other half. You will become a complete person. If you truly fall madly in love with him, some of his characteristics may appear in you subconsciously. Your life will become more and more meaningful with his participation.

You're worrying too much. It's because you think you're going to face the college entrance exam soon, but you don't know how you'll perform. You're also worried about your hometown because you're shy. You're thinking that you've thought about this boy for four years and that it will affect your studies.

It's going to affect my college entrance exam!

This mentality is normal, but you're in a better place now. Three years ago, you let it affect your performance in the high school entrance exam. Now you know to come to this platform for help and seek a scientific approach.

Let me be clear: when you come here for help, it means you have become aware of yourself. As long as you become aware of yourself, you are already on the path to healing.

Furthermore, I believe these issues you're facing align with Jung's theory that everyone possesses both masculine and feminine traits. I am certain that your gradual romantic feelings for him will prove more beneficial to your future growth. There is no need to fret over getting along with him.

I want you to do so in a month's time, when your college entrance exams are over. You should reminisce about your life over the past four years and write about your experiences with him.

Let the one you love run the gaokao with you. He will help you successfully navigate the gaokao. The university of your dreams is throwing you an olive branch! The world and I love you!

Hello, if I may, I'd like to offer you a 360-degree hug.

I would like to extend my sincerest congratulations to you on having an imaginary boyfriend who has been a source of support and companionship during some of the more challenging periods of your life, particularly during your high school years.

You say he is your pillar of strength, and you have endured the challenges of depression and the difficulties of a friendless high school life together. I believe you are fortunate, because although your youth may have been lonely in terms of social interactions, you were not lonely on a psychological level.

A rich heart can help us cope with this challenging world.

In the movie "The Shawshank Redemption," there is a scene where Andy is put in solitary confinement. He is locked in a dark cell for a month, and many believe he will crack under the pressure. However, he persists. He points to his head and says, "Because I have him." Indeed, he has music and literature in his head, which allows him to talk to his inner self or imaginary characters, helping him get through the days in solitary confinement. In fact, it helps him get through the 19 years in prison.

It might be said that people are inherently lonely, even in close relationships and at the liveliest of occasions. In the end, we all have to talk to ourselves.

For you, high school may have seemed like the outside world was not particularly welcoming, but because of this secret love, this imaginary love, you managed to persevere.

Could it be that the imaginary boy is actually another aspect of yourself? Perhaps he is a warmer, more tolerant, more empathetic, and a better listener version of you.

We often imagine someone coming to our rescue in times of trouble, as if there were a superhero who would come to our aid. But in the end, we realize that we have the power within ourselves to save ourselves.

You are your own hero. It's understandable that you might feel a little afraid now because you feel that the imaginary "him" is affecting your life a little.

In light of the upcoming college entrance exam, it might be helpful to consider the following:

I would like to suggest that you discuss this with him, thank him for his constant company, and invite him to continue to accompany you until the end of the college entrance examination. After that, you could both write a letter to each other, thanking each other for their constant company, and then say goodbye for now, embarking on a new journey in life.

It might also be helpful to consider why he appeared in the third year of junior high school, what happened at that time, and what made you feel the need for an imaginary "him" to keep you company.

It might be helpful to talk to a counselor after the college entrance exam.

I would like to suggest that you discuss this with him and work together to prepare for the upcoming college entrance examination.

I am a counselor who tends to view things from a somewhat pessimistic perspective, but I do try to maintain a positive outlook as well. I truly believe that the world and I love you.

We all experience pain and regret in life. There are times when we feel pressure and don't know who to talk to. If we suppress this kind of pain for too long, it can make us feel depressed and even affect our mental stability, making it hard to eat or sleep.

You learned that you had relationship problems during military training in high school. At that time, you felt very miserable and powerless, as if you had been forgotten and abandoned by the world. Your life had already become very uncomfortable, and it broke your heart to see you crying in your dormitory every night.

♣The college entrance exam is approaching. You fall in love with the boy of your imagination.

♣Since the third year of junior high school, I have imagined that he is the best high school in the city.

♣ Make up for regrets Military training begins and you don't get along with your classmates.

Fantasy

We're here for you!

Maybe high school life is really very tough. We all have to face some tough times in life, and you're looking for a kind and amazing guy to give you a helping hand.

☪️☪️☪️☪️ It's okay to have fantasies and imaginations, but try to keep them in check and come back to reality.

Take strength from your imagination of him. You've got this!

You've got this! Give yourself more courage and strength to face it.

You can talk to him in your imagination. You also have your own loneliness and a lot of discomfort. Maybe because a lot has happened since you used to take a vacation once every two weeks, you imagine that you want to meet such a gentle person.

He's become a really important part of your life, and maybe even a way for you to work through your emotions. He can be a friend, a lover, a confidant, or even a spiritual mentor, and he can give you so much energy!

The other person is your rock, your god. He has been with you through thick and thin, and you have made it through the darkest times. This is a very rare thing. If one day you become stronger, you can perhaps record it in your diary and think of him less often.

Be sure to thank him for sticking by your side for so long, for spending so many hours with you, and for being there for you when things got tough. This is really important for you. There are still some differences between the two of you. The other person belongs to the imaginary dimension of you, not a carbon-based organism.

A good love can bring you a lot of good feelings. If it is already affecting your life, you may need to re-evaluate it and try to become independent. I really think you should seek out the necessary psychological counseling and talk to a counsellor, psychotherapist, or teacher about your situation. This will help you to stabilize your current tasks and emotional fluctuations. I'm rooting for you!

ZQ?