Good day. I believe you are a straightforward, determined, and benevolent individual. You hold a deep affection for your partner and aspire to wed him. You also hope that he reciprocates your feelings.
You are concerned that your boyfriend's sensitivities may be being overlooked, which could potentially lead to a reduction in his level of affection towards you.
You adhere to the Enneagram test and utilize it as a benchmark to assess the prospective trajectory of your relationship with your partner. Is this an accurate representation?
It is not possible to make all decisions based on a single set of standards.
It is not possible to measure anything by absolute standards, and this is particularly relevant in the context of your relationship with your boyfriend.
The Enneagram personality test is a valuable tool that enables individuals to gain insight into their own personalities and to develop a deeper understanding of the personalities of others.
While the Enneagram test can be used as a reference, it cannot be the sole standard for defining personalities or measuring relationship development.
Does focusing on and caring for the other person's feelings genuinely result in greater love from that person?
Personality type 8 is a leader who enjoys assuming control and is highly controlling. This personality type tends to be more dominant in social situations and prefers to take the lead. However, it should be noted that this trait is essential for effective leadership in a professional setting.
Individuals with personality type 4 are often sensitive, calculating, jealous, stubborn, and arrogant. They are inclined to romanticize situations and may be perceived as tragic romantics.
In your relationship with your boyfriend, you typically assume the role of the primary initiator, while he tends to be more passive.
You enjoy assuming the role of the primary initiator and decision-maker in the relationship. This may manifest as a tendency to proactively seek ways to deepen the other person's feelings of love and commitment.
You are concerned that your actions may be perceived as neglectful and that this may result in a loss of interest from your partner.
However, you will come to understand that your initiative and attention will not necessarily result in a greater level of affection from the other person. Instead, it may cause them to become increasingly distant.
Furthermore, this may lead to feelings of apprehension and caution.
If you wish to enhance your relationship with your boyfriend, it is essential to prioritize self-care.
Caring about each other and paying attention to each other's feelings is a common practice among young couples in romantic relationships.
It is also essential to maintain a healthy equilibrium.
From the perspective of the other person, excessive attention can be perceived as uncomfortable and restrictive, potentially leading to a desire for distance.
Furthermore, an excessive focus on the needs of others can result in a lack of attention to one's own feelings and a tendency to undervalue oneself.
It is unwise to attempt to ingratiate oneself with another person in exchange for their affection.
It is therefore more appropriate to focus on your own feelings and emotions before considering the needs of others.
It is my hope that you will accept the premise that the more you love yourself, the more the other person will love you.
Best regards,


Comments
It sounds like a unique dynamic between an Eight and a Four. The Enneagram suggests that Eights are powerful, dominant types while Fours are more introspective and sensitive. Sparks can fly between you two because of the contrast but it's important to be mindful of his feelings. Marriage chances depend on how well you both can adapt and grow together. As an Eight, learning to soften your approach and showing vulnerability can help him feel more secure in expressing love.
Understanding each other's core motivations is key. An Eight like yourself thrives on strength and impact, whereas a Four seeks authenticity and depth in relationships. To deepen his love for you, try being attentive to his emotional needs and offer support without overshadowing his individuality. This balance can foster a profound connection.
Every relationship has its challenges, especially with such different personalities. But this difference can also be a great asset. Focus on building a foundation of trust and respect. Be patient and give him space when he needs it, which shows understanding and can strengthen the bond between you two.
The Enneagram reveals much about our inner worlds. As an Eight, you might come across as strong and protective, but don't forget that love thrives on mutual understanding. Try to create moments where you both can share deeper emotions. This will make him feel valued and appreciated, encouraging a deeper affection for you.
It's not just about what you do, but how you perceive things. Being an Eight, you're likely used to taking charge, but consider stepping back sometimes and letting him lead. Recognizing his artistic and sensitive nature and giving him opportunities to shine can increase his admiration and love for you.