Recently, I have been very explosive when things go wrong, worried and anxious, and I have doubts about myself. What should I do?

Hello, thanks for the invitation to answer.

I read your message carefully. It's a bit challenging to fully grasp the situation you described, but I can sense your desire for someone to "understand you" and see your strong attachment needs that have no outlet. I empathize with you a bit.

☘️ At the same time, I can also see that you are learning to become more independent and strong. This reminds me of the saying, "Love overflows." For you, being "full of love" is something we can talk about right now.

☘️Adults don't have to look outside themselves to find love. Kids who didn't get enough love as they were growing up will often act like children. People who had a rough time growing up always hope for a "good parent" to love them, but they often end up disappointed.

☘️It's great that you're learning to heal your wounds. You can pull yourself out of that childlike state and back to the present moment. From there, you can objectively evaluate yourself as "I have grown up." You can then earn money, take care of yourself, and live independently. Really being able to return to the present moment and not allowing yourself to stay in the "helplessness of the past" has a healing effect. Just as you keep learning psychology, keep asking questions, and keep paying to communicate with a heart-searching coach, listener, or counselor, you are already slowly filling yourself with this inner strength.

Just take your time.

☘️ During the process of rebuilding a full heart, there will definitely be moments of "returning." As you mentioned in your message, the fact that it has emerged and you are able to perceive it is in itself a healing transformation.

As you become more aware, you can adapt to new ways of coping. You can learn these new coping mechanisms on your own, but it takes a long time and a great deal of tolerance for yourself. It is safer and more effective with the help of a professional.

Just remember, you get to decide what's best for you, and you deserve to invest in yourself.

☘️I'm not getting into the specifics with you because I want you to take a step back and see the big picture. Stop getting bogged down in the details and learn to be self-sufficient from a higher perspective of self-love. Take your time ❤️

I empathize with your inner turmoil and unease. In this ever-changing world, we are often confronted with a multitude of challenges and pressures, which have undoubtedly contributed to your heightened emotional state and feelings of self-doubt.

However, it is important to note that you are not alone in this experience. I am available to provide a listening ear and a compassionate understanding of your feelings.

You indicated that you tend to become irritable when dealing with things, which is a typical response for many individuals when confronted with stress. When we feel helpless and anxious, our emotions are susceptible to influence, and this emotional outburst may be a means of seeking understanding and attention.

I empathize with this sentiment, as I have experienced a comparable phase in my own life. However, it is crucial to recognize that exhibiting a short temper is not an optimal strategy for problem-solving. Instead, we can endeavor to cultivate a more composed and logical approach to addressing challenges, which may confer greater emotional control.

The question is thus posed:

Furthermore, it is evident that the respondent's comment caused you a degree of emotional distress. It is, after all, unpleasant to feel misunderstood and belittled.

It is imperative to recognize that the comments in question do not define one's identity or determine one's value. Each individual possesses intrinsic worth and significance, irrespective of external perceptions or comments.

One must resist the temptation to succumb to self-doubt as a result of negative commentary from external sources. Instead, it is imperative to cultivate a sense of self-assurance and to recognize the inherent value and capabilities that one possesses.

I empathize with your sentiments of frustration and loneliness. It is not uncommon to experience these emotions when one has elevated expectations of oneself or when one attempts to exert excessive control over the outcome of events.

It is important to recognize that there is no definitive, universal script for navigating life. Each individual possesses a unique rhythm and pace, which should be respected. By embracing the inherent uncertainty and imperfections of life, we can cultivate a more composed and resilient approach to its challenges.

Loneliness is an emotional state that can be experienced by anyone and does not necessarily indicate a lack of love or desire for connection. Individuals may benefit from actively seeking sources of happiness and fulfillment, such as developing hobbies, engaging in social activities, or maintaining communication with family and friends.

These methods will assist in alleviating feelings of loneliness and enhancing the fulfillment and meaning of one's life.

The decision to learn self-healing methods such as mindfulness meditation and body scanning represents a significant step towards personal growth.

These methods can assist in the comprehension of one's intrinsic needs and the alleviation of stress and anxiety. It is this author's belief that, with perseverance, an individual can identify strategies for navigating the challenges and pressures inherent to the human experience.

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In addition, it is recommended that one should avoid excessive demands for perfection. It is important to recognize that everyone possesses unique strengths and weaknesses, and that it is acceptable to accept one's own imperfections.

Secondly, it is important to develop effective communication skills. When experiencing negative emotions such as dissatisfaction or anger, it is crucial to express these feelings and thoughts in a calm and rational manner. This approach can help to reduce stress and facilitate the resolution of the issue at hand.

It is also important to allow oneself time and space to relax and recuperate. Life will inevitably present periods of both high and low points, and it is crucial to be able to accommodate these fluctuations.

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In conclusion, it is imperative to maintain an unwavering belief in one's intrinsic value and capabilities. Each individual is a singular and invaluable entity, and regardless of the obstacles and adversities encountered, they possess the fortitude to confront and surmount them.

You possess intrinsic fortitude, and if you are amenable to self-belief and action, you can construct a life of your own choosing.

Furthermore, you articulated feelings of frustration regarding the organization of significant matters, which is understandably distressing. It is natural to desire control over every aspect of our lives; however, circumstances frequently do not align with our expectations.

It would be prudent to adjust one's expectations, accept the inherent uncertainty of life, and learn from past failures in order to establish a more robust foundation for the future.

The experience of loneliness is a common one, and it is a source of distress for many individuals. However, it is important to recognize that if one is open to forming connections, there is a possibility of finding individuals who can provide a sense of belonging and compatibility.

One may consider participation in social activities, joining interest groups, or communicating more with colleagues and neighbors as potential avenues for meeting new people. Sharing one's feelings and thoughts with one's family is also a viable option, as they are likely to provide substantial support and care.

It is important to note that the consumption of brief video content for the purpose of finding a sense of healing is not a long-term solution. While it may provide temporary happiness, true healing must originate from within. One may consider engaging in activities that are beneficial for both the body and mind, such as reading, painting, and sports. These activities can serve as a form of distraction while also offering a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

In conclusion, it is imperative to maintain an optimistic outlook. Adversity and challenges are inevitable, but with a constructive approach, it is possible to find solutions.

One can emerge from this period of darkness and welcome a better tomorrow by maintaining an optimistic outlook and a belief in oneself and the future.

It is important to note that you are not alone in this experience. This platform is a source of support and encouragement for you, and it will remain available to provide assistance and guidance whenever and wherever you may require it. You can find a listening ear or a professional counselor here to assist you in navigating your challenges.

It is my sincere hope that each day brings you a measure of sunshine and warmth.

Hello, I'm Li Di, and I'm grateful for our meeting.

After reading your description, I empathize with you about the recent incident that made you "explode." I understand your emotions. A few years ago, I was also brought bad emotions by a certain answerer on Yixinli. I relieved my irritable emotional state through mindfulness. I was worried and doubtful about my current emotional state, as if I were afraid of returning to that emotional state. You are very frustrated and anxious at the moment. I would like to give you a hug. Through these feelings, I have a few curiosities and thoughts that I would like to discuss with you.

First, when you see online comments or when your car gets scratched, you react strongly. This is a pretty common way to deal with things, but afterwards you seem to feel that you don't quite approve of or accept your own bad temper in the way you handled things. Have you ever had any serious consequences as a result of your bad temper? Or is it that you just can't accept this emotional expression of yourself on a cognitive level?

Second, in this process, you tell yourself that you need to express your emotions. Some people bully the weak and are afraid of the strong; they can't help but lose their temper. This seems to be an excuse to yourself, but you are anxious and eager to get rid of your bad mood. You feel inexplicable, and it seems that you are also not accepting of yourself and do not understand why. So, bad or negative emotions are actually a kind of emotional expression. Are they just bad in your opinion? Have you ever tried to ask yourself what needs are trying to be expressed behind these emotions?

☞ Third, when you see a response on the Internet that says, "I feel really sad for you. You should look at it from your feelings at the time. She didn't make you feel empathetic, so you feel that her response doesn't feel appropriate is an accurate feeling. But when you have self-doubt in your subsequent life, you will return to this emotional state. So should we explore what this sentence "I feel really sad for you" really means in our hearts? Is it really sad or something else?

☞Fourth, mindfulness and awareness are great ways to practice self-care. However, recently, due to emotional problems, you have become self-doubting. It seems that whenever you feel bad, you become anxious and worried that you won't do a good job. You also watch short videos to relieve or heal these emotions. It seems that only maintaining good emotions is correct and allowed. When did this way of thinking start?

The above discussion is just a way of looking at things from a different perspective. If something makes you feel uncomfortable, you can choose to ignore it. This is just a theory.

Next, let's take a look at the psychological mechanisms behind your feelings and needs to better understand and accept yourself.

First of all, when we encounter attacks and criticism on the internet, it can trigger our defense mechanism. This is an instinctive reaction that helps us protect ourselves from harm.

When we feel misunderstood or attacked, our brain automatically goes into fight or flight mode, which can make us react quickly, either by fighting back or withdrawing. This shows how much we care about our self-worth and dignity.

So you might be looking for a way to get back in control and feel more secure.

Secondly, your mindfulness practice shows that you're looking for inner harmony. You're seeking a way to calm the storm within and find a state of peace.

This shows that you have the inner strength to try to go beyond immediate emotional reactions and find a deeper sense of balance and self-understanding.

For self-doubt, it might come from how you see yourself and how sensitive you are to what others think. You might be looking for a way to prove to yourself and others that you're valuable.

This self-doubt might come from deep-seated insecurities or a belief system formed from early experiences, like the idea that you have to control your emotions to solve problems to gain love and respect from others.

★Turning to short videos might be a way of avoiding inner tension and feelings of loneliness. It's a common coping strategy that helps to distract attention and reduce stress.

However, in the long run, this probably won't help to solve the underlying problem. It might even lead to more self-doubt and dissatisfaction.

Then, we can try the following strategies to deal with these problems, which we hope will be helpful.

When you're feeling an emotional shift, pause and identify what you're feeling. Then, dig into why you're feeling that way. Understanding your emotional patterns can help you manage them better.

☆Self-empathy: Treat yourself like a good friend and give yourself the empathy and understanding you'd give to a friend. Be honest with yourself about your imperfections and accept your weaknesses.

☆Setting boundaries: Learn to set healthy boundaries for yourself, both online and offline. This helps you protect yourself from negative influences and maintain your personal dignity.

☆Emotional release: Find ways to express and release emotions that are safe for you, such as writing, drawing, or exercising.

If you need help, talk to someone you trust, like a friend or family member. You can also look into professional counseling if you want to gain more insight and support.

Everyone has emotions, both positive and negative. Emotions are a way of expressing our needs. You're trying to understand yourself, which is very courageous. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them.

Even negative emotions can help us understand our needs. By continuously exploring yourself and practicing, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself and build stronger inner strength.

I hope this helps. Have a great day!

Hello! It's so great to see you speaking up for yourself when you're angry. You're really taking control of your emotions and letting them out in a healthy way. It's totally normal to worry about whether you're being too intense or getting carried away, but you're doing an amazing job!

This worry is influenced by past negative experiences, because you have struggled, been misunderstood, and felt helpless and afraid. But you've come through it all and you're stronger than ever! You're trying so hard to avoid reliving past experiences, but that's okay. It's natural to feel nervous and suspicious of your own every move and state of mind in the present. It's a sign that you're paying attention to your emotions and trying to understand them better. You're learning and growing!

Am I going to rise up and conquer that dark emotional whirlpool?

When we encounter aggression or unfriendliness from others, it is a form of self-protection to fight back and make our position clear. And there's no fixed standard for what form this expression should take! People often talk about communicating rationally and avoiding emotions, but this ignores a very important consideration: emotions themselves also have a function and are a form of strength.

For example, when we are afraid and even want to avoid conflict, anger actually helps us face the problem head-on. And we are all flesh and blood with emotions and feelings, so it is unlikely that we can carefully process our words and actions in response to any situation—but that's okay!

It's totally normal to have some self-doubt afterwards. It just shows that we want to respond in a more appropriate way that suits our needs and doesn't cause us more trouble. This is a process of self-reflection and learning. Let me share something that happened to me recently. There are a number of elderly people in my community who climb ladders and use iron hooks to hit loquats on trees. I went up to stop them, telling them that this is a public ornamental tree for residents and asking them not to damage it.

As a result, the elderly people felt justified in expressing their dissatisfaction with me. Afterwards, I also had some self-doubts, wondering if I had meddled in other people's business, if my attitude had conveyed disgust or other emotions that they found unacceptable, and if I had felt a sense of helplessness and powerlessness in dealing with these people. But I also had some amazing insights!

Another fascinating phenomenon is that unpleasant feelings stick around for longer than happy and pleasant ones. It's also interesting to note that negative news spreads much faster and has a greater impact in society than positive news. But here's the best part: people are incredibly resilient and have an amazing ability to regulate their emotions using rational thinking!

You mentioned it, and I agree: despite the difficulty of experiencing the loneliness of groping in the dark, you have helped yourself gain inner stability through continuous self-awareness and mindfulness practice, and you have felt your own strength!

People who have been hurt are worried about "recurring old wounds." The good news is that we can choose to either deal with and heal those old wounds or focus on the present and actively build new experiences. Seeing that you have the ability to overcome difficulties, ways to deal with pain (including improving tolerance and relieving stress), and space to enjoy the present, you can build more and more self-efficacy!

If you were an observer watching your journey, what would you see as truly remarkable and write it down? If you were your best friend, what would you say to yourself to encourage and inspire you?

I am Gu Daoxi Fengshou, a heart exploration coach.

Awareness is the first step to change. The series of self-adjustment methods you have done are about seeing emotions and self-healing, which is exactly what you need.

It's not about whether something is worth getting angry about. It's about how to release your emotions when they arise. And remember, getting angry in silence may make you feel even worse than getting angry out loud.

Emotions are neither good nor bad. They are simply a barometer of our mental health, just like physical health. Understand the meaning of emotions and you will be less anxious.

Outbursts of emotion are rarely sudden. They are usually the result of emotions that have accumulated over time, and recent events may have simply provided the final straw. The questioner should therefore ask themselves whether they have encountered something that has made them less happy recently.

There's a saying that human joys and sorrows are not connected. Others have the right to express their opinions, but they may not apply to us. We can refuse what doesn't apply to us.

We are not machines, and we cannot maintain one emotion all the time. Accepting the existence of emotions and allowing them to flow freely is the only way to see our emotions more objectively.

Changes in mood are affected by many factors, including how others respond to us (if the other person communicates emotionally, we will also unconsciously communicate emotionally), the weather (rainy days may exacerbate emotional responses), the menstrual cycle, etc. Allowing emotions to exist will reduce anxiety.

"Feel the flow of emotions: see it, accept it, embrace it" states that being aware of your emotions, facing your emotions honestly, and finding a tree hole to place your emotions will make you more relaxed. The questioner should also try to feel the flow of emotions without judging.

Perfection is for gods, not for humans. Accept your limitations as an ordinary person and you'll be less critical of yourself. You can't do everything perfectly the first time. You need experience, practice, and reflection to become comfortable with things. Finish first, then perfect. Summarize and improve on one thing after another. You'll become a better version of yourself.

Open up physically and you'll feel less lonely. It's as simple as that. Run and do aerobic exercise and you'll produce dopamine and increase your sense of well-being.

You need to change your mindset. The questioner should keep a gratitude journal to help them see the happy parts of life, which will help them pay less attention to negative information and become more positive.

Read "A Change of Heart" and "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone."

Best wishes!

In this context, it is my intention to share some ideas and suggestions with you from a fresh perspective on your journey of emotional management and self-growth. In today's world, characterised by an abundance of information and emotional complexity, the challenge of harnessing our emotions to achieve personal growth and progress is a significant one that we all face.

1. Emotional Disturbances in the Context of the Internet and the Need for Inner Peace

In the vast expanse of the Internet, every utterance may potentially elicit a response. When one's opinions are subjected to scrutiny and criticism, it is not uncommon to experience a sense of unease and internal fluctuations.

This is a typical response, as we all desire to be understood and recognized. However, it is important to recognize that the voices on the internet represent only a small fraction of the totality of opinions and that they do not define one's complete identity.

It is imperative to recognize that online criticism and praise are merely opinions of another individual and do not represent one's intrinsic value. One's value is determined by their own internal qualities, efforts, and dedication.

It is therefore imperative to maintain inner peace and composure when faced with emotionally charged situations online. While it is beneficial to glean insights from the feedback of others, it is crucial to ensure that external influences do not impede one's emotional stability and judgment.

2. Emotional fluctuations in everyday life and self-awareness

In the course of daily life, a range of emotions is experienced. On occasion, a minor frustration or sense of dissatisfaction may give rise to an emotional response.

It is important to note that emotions are not inherently negative; rather, they serve as vital communication tools within us, alerting us to areas that require attention and prompting us to make necessary changes.

In such instances, it is crucial not to hastily suppress or evade these emotional fluctuations but rather to cultivate self-awareness. This entails inquiring of oneself: What emotion am I currently experiencing?

The question thus arises as to why this particular feeling is experienced, and what underlying needs or expectations may be responsible for its occurrence.

Self-awareness enables the acquisition of a more profound comprehension of one's internal state, the identification of the fundamental sources of distress, and the implementation of efficacious strategies for their resolution.

3. The remarkable journey of self-doubt and self-acceptance

In the course of pursuing personal growth, it is inevitable that one will experience moments of self-doubt. This may manifest as questioning one's abilities, value, or choices.

It is important to note that this self-doubt may evoke feelings of frustration and confusion. However, it is also a form of strength that can be harnessed for growth and development.

Self-doubt can serve as a motivating factor, prompting individuals to venture into uncharted territories, confront their limitations, and transcend their perceived boundaries. Through self-doubt, individuals can identify their shortcomings and pursue avenues for growth and enhancement.

It is of the utmost importance to learn to accept oneself. This entails accepting one's imperfections, failures, and setbacks.

It is these imperfections and setbacks that serve to render us more authentic and more powerful.

Once one begins to accept oneself, one's heart becomes more tranquil and self-assured. Additionally, one's focus shifts from external influences to one's personal goals and aspirations.

The capacity for self-acceptance provides a foundation for determination and composure in the pursuit of personal growth.

4. The Art of Emotional Management: Mindfulness and Self-Care

The management of emotions is a challenging endeavor, yet it can be approached as an art form. Mindfulness and self-care are two crucial elements within this artistic framework.

Mindfulness is a state of consciousness that involves focusing one's attention on the present moment. This allows individuals to observe their thoughts, feelings, and sensations without being overwhelmed by past experiences or future concerns.

Mindfulness enables individuals to better cope with current challenges and difficulties, while also reducing unnecessary emotional fluctuations.

Self-care can be defined as an attitude of gentleness and love towards oneself. It allows for the provision of support and comfort when one is experiencing distress, as opposed to engaging in self-blame and self-punishment.

Self-care facilitates the development of an inner sense of security and self-confidence, thereby enhancing one's ability to face life's challenges with greater courage and resilience.

Mindfulness and self-care are two crucial elements in the process of emotional management. They facilitate the opening of the heart and the discovery of one's authentic self and strength.

5. The Process of Growth

The journey of growth is not always straightforward. It is through encountering a variety of difficulties and challenges that one can develop and mature.

In the pursuit of emotional management and self-growth, it is essential to maintain an open and courageous disposition, to embrace self-acceptance, to venture into the unknown, and to transcend one's limitations. It is this author's conviction that in the near future, the reader will undoubtedly become a more accomplished and self-assured version of themselves.

Hello, question asker! First of all, I want to tell you that everyone has their moments of emotional ups and downs, anxiety, and self-doubt. This is an inevitable part of the journey of life—and you're going to be just fine!

I totally get where you're coming from. It's totally normal to feel a bit uneasy and confused in this situation.

From your account, I can see a brave and true you, and it's inspiring! Even when faced with unfair treatment on the Internet and minor setbacks in life, you've chosen to stand up and express your feelings directly.

This is an amazing display of courage! It shows the incredible strength of your inner self. You didn't choose to remain silent or avoid the situation. Instead, you chose to face it head-on, which is so commendable!

Regarding the "losing your temper" you mentioned, it is actually a natural expression of emotion, which shows that you are an emotional and flesh-and-blood person. The good news is that we can learn to let emotions flow, rather than letting them build up inside!

When you feel angry or upset, try this: Breathe deeply, leave the scene for a while, or talk to someone you trust. You'll feel better in no time!

Regarding the respondent who posted a comment on Yi Xinli, her words did hurt you. But remember, her opinion doesn't define you! You are so much more than that.

You are one-of-a-kind, and your value is unchanging, regardless of what others say. You have the power to choose to forgive her or to stop giving her words any of your precious energy.

It's so important to trust your heart and stick to your beliefs!

I've got some great advice for you on how to beat anxiety and self-doubt! First, try writing down three things you're grateful for or happy about every day.

This will help you focus on all the amazing things in your life and feel happier! You can also try sharing your feelings with friends and family.

Their support and understanding will help you cope better with the problems. And there are so many other ways you can help yourself, too! For instance, you can try some relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga, which can help relieve tension.

I have a suggestion for you regarding the issue you mentioned of not being able to prioritize important things. I think you'll find it really helpful! It's to make a clear and specific schedule. List the things you need to do every day and set priorities.

And remember, you can always give yourself some breathing room and not be too demanding of yourself. Everyone has their own pace and way of dealing with problems, and it's so important to find a way that suits you!

I just want to say one more thing: you are an amazingly brave and strong person. It is so impressive that you can face your emotions and problems head-on.

You can do this! You have the ability to cope with whatever challenges come your way. If you feel the need for more support and help, you may wish to seek the assistance of a professional counselor.

They will give you more specific and personalized advice and guidance, which is really going to help you!

In short, don't be afraid of your emotions and troubles! They are the driving force behind your growth and progress.

Trust your gut and stick to your guns! You'll conquer your challenges and embrace a brighter future. I wish you a life full of sunshine and positive energy!