Senior year, family dinner, I don't fit in, deep in thought and at a loss?

Dear questioner, I can see that you are going through a challenging time in your senior year of high school. It is admirable that you are able to express yourself here, as this is a sign of maturity for someone your age.

You are deeply contemplative after all that has transpired. You are so perplexed by your intricate thoughts that you are unable to organize them. Now, let's attempt to discern together what transpired and how we should address it.

Your teacher has kindly asked you to go home because you were late a few times. You say you didn't mean to be late, but you admit that you were.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether going home on vacation might be a solution. It might be beneficial to understand that being late could potentially result in going on vacation.

It is important to consider your academic performance and state of learning when deciding whether to go home on vacation. If you feel that going home will allow you to rest and adjust your learning state, it may be beneficial to take advantage of this time to do so. However, if you believe that going home on vacation will have a negative impact on your overall learning, it might be helpful to work with your parents and teachers to find a solution that works for everyone. This could involve negotiating a shorter vacation or trying to go back to school as much as possible.

You have now had the opportunity to engage in a discussion with your father. It was cathartic to express your feelings and thoughts, and you have gained a deeper understanding of each other.

But how do you feel about this after a while? Do you think arguments with your father will still happen?

Could I ask when you think it might happen again? When do you want to express a certain emotion, and do you think you might resort to an argument?

Could this method be an improvement on the way you previously communicated with your father?

Family dinner with relatives. It is also worth noting that relatives may face similar challenges when it comes to child rearing.

Their problems also prompted you to reflect on your own actions, leading you to question whether your behavior might have been perceived as overly pretentious. It's important to recognize that not every family is the same, despite sharing a common heritage and upbringing.

Every family has its own unique set of challenges. Given the informal nature of the family dinner, there was limited opportunity for in-depth discussion. While your parents did not have any major shortcomings in their approach to your education, there might have been instances where they could have provided more guidance.

This may allow you to engage in deep thinking, rather than simply accepting the status quo. It seems that your parents' slightly more relaxed approach to education has enabled you to think more broadly and deeply, and find a way to grow that suits you better.

Your thoughts and reflections are admirable, reflecting a commendable process of continuous growth and maturity.

Given that you are in your third year of high school and need to have a clear direction for yourself, I am confident that you will find a way of growth that suits you better as you continue to search, and that you will become the ideal version of yourself.

I hope that I can inspire you, and I hope that you can find inspiration in the world.

Dear child, hello there!

I've read your question and I'm here for you. It's totally normal to feel overwhelmed when you're facing a lot of things at once. It's okay if you're not sure how to handle everything right now. We all have days like that. I'm here to listen and help you figure things out.

I'd absolutely love to chat with you! I really hope it'll be comforting and inspiring for you.

1. This is just a normal part of growing up!

You're in your senior year of high school, and you've already got a lot on your plate!

Oh dear, because you are late, your teacher has asked you to go home.

Maybe your parents don't understand either, but you have the courage to express your feelings, which is really great!

I really applaud you! Way to go!

Just expressing it will help to relieve those emotions.

I know this might be tough for you, but I'm here to help.

I'm so proud of you for expressing your feelings and not keeping them inside.

This is a great way to let your emotions flow!

You're also letting your parents know that you've grown up and have your own ideas.

You're not going to just accept what your parents say, and that's okay!

At the same time, I know you're feeling a little confused.

It's totally normal to have some doubts when you see what they say and do at the family reunion.

You feel that those children are not rebelling and are quite happy, which is great to see!

We're all different, and that's a good thing!

It's totally normal to feel this way at your age.

Your thinking is actually a sign that you're starting to awaken to your own self.

It's so important to be yourself! It might take a little more effort and thinking than simply listening to teachers or parents, but it'll be worth it in the end.

So, don't worry, these are all totally normal!

It's totally normal to feel confused at your age.

It's okay if you don't think or explore as much as your friends do. We all have different ways of processing things.

2. How can we help you deal with this better?

It's totally normal to feel confused and frustrated when you're sent home while your classmates are at school. We've all been there!

It must be really tough for you to be sent home while your classmates are at school.

I'd love to know what thoughts come to mind at this time.

I can imagine you might be feeling a little frustrated or at a loss right now.

What are some things you learned from this experience?

We can try not to fight, but we can also learn to accept reality.

Oh, dear, what can we do in such seemingly bad situations?

For example, how can you spend your time when you can't study at school?

How can we show our parents that we need and want their love and support?

You can make your parents understand you by expressing your thoughts, and they'll be so happy to hear from you!

This is great!

It's also important for us to recognize that we're in adolescence and understand some of our characteristics during this period.

For example, they really don't like being controlled by their parents.

They're really sensitive to changes in their surroundings and sometimes get a bit down or have negative thoughts.

It's also good to remember that we're still learning how to manage our emotions.

It's also possible that acting out at a dinner gathering is just a temporary phase.

It's okay, it's just a phase, or it's influenced by our emotions.

It's totally normal to have the odd bout of insomnia now and then. Try to stick to a regular routine as much as you can.

When it comes to home education, it can be really helpful to describe how other children are coping without passing judgment. This can help us get a better understanding and see things from a different perspective.

Sometimes, the more we want to know the answer to a question, the more we have to wait to get it.

So, just let it be, my friend.

Thoughts come and go, my friend.

If you're still stuck, don't be afraid to ask your parents for help. They're always happy to lend a hand!

I'd like to suggest a book I think you'll really enjoy. It's called I Want to Be Remarkable.

The book has some great advice that I think you'll really enjoy!

This is the period of confusion, when the strength for rebirth is accumulated.

The period of confusion is when the old self fades away and the seeds of the future self are born.

Please, just share these!

I wish you all the best!

The world and I love you so much!

Good morning, My name is Shan Qi, and I'm your listening teacher. I want to start by reassuring you that you don't need to worry or be anxious. I can understand your situation, as I was in a similar situation in high school.

Firstly, I can see from your questions and additional comments that you are experiencing a range of emotions and concerns. It seems that words cannot fully express the confusion you are feeling. I want to reassure you that this is normal. At your age, there are often many thoughts, and these thoughts need to collide with real life and even be frustrated, which is also very normal. This is growth.

It is important to note that this is a normal part of the growth process and should not be perceived as suffering.

Secondly, we will address the two specific issues you have raised.

First, there was a disagreement between you and your father. This is a common occurrence and is to be expected within the context of a family.

You attempted to convey your emotions during the conflict and experienced a slight discrepancy. I believe this marks the beginning of your new communication model. It is also crucial to express yourself correctly in communication. Therefore, in this regard, you need to further explore and learn to communicate reasonably and correctly.

Secondly, you indicated that you have reservations about those relatives. This is a typical adolescent response to the challenge of establishing one's own values. It is understandable that you may perceive their actions as problematic, but it is important to recognize that this is a natural process of values alignment between the individual and the external world. In the future, you will encounter individuals and circumstances that may not align with your beliefs. It is essential to learn to accept these differences and maintain your own identity to facilitate progress and growth.

Finally, I would like to suggest that you take some time to process your current emotions and thoughts in order to identify your priorities. Once you have done so, you will be in a better position to decide on the next steps to take.

Perhaps by defining your primary objectives at this juncture, you will gain greater clarity regarding the optimal course of action.

I wish you the best of luck!

Hello, senior high school classmate. After some thought, you're feeling a bit lost. First, let's sort out the timeline:

1. You were sent home by your homeroom teacher for being late a lot, and you had to "go home and rest" for more than 20 days from the day of the incident. This made you "very anxious and confused, not knowing what to do when you got home" and overwhelmed.

2. On the way home, you had a bit of a falling-out with your father. You got quite emotional about your parents asking you if you were going to study, and you told them you would, even though your grades weren't that great and you weren't in the best of shape. It felt good to express yourself for the first time, but at the same time you felt quite confused.

3. That night at dinner with relatives, you saw other parents discussing their kids' education methods after the kids had been noisy. Their methods were simple and crude, but the kids seemed to accept them, and the parents felt that they were working. You thought about how you'd rebelled against your mother's same educational methods and bravely expressed your feelings, but it seemed like you were still unhappy. In comparison, you began to doubt whether you were being "petty."

4. When you got back, you thought about what had happened that day. It seemed like everything was connected. You were making progress and trying new things, but you also felt less confident and worried about making mistakes.

Uncle Ai thinks you're going through a pretty big transition right now, and that all this confusion and thinking is really important. I think that:

[1

I've seen two different explanations for the 20-odd days of rest at home. One is that you were late, which sounds like a punishment, and the other is that you went home to rest, which sounds like a leave of absence. One is passive and the other is active.

If you're passive, you and your father might want to talk about whether 20 days is too long to be late.

Your father and you have talked about whether you should keep studying, and you've told him you want to carry on. So what should you do? My view is that since you want to keep studying, the best way to deal with the problem seems to be to sort out the issue of being late and go back to school. The last few months of your senior year are almost over, and missing key classes doesn't seem to be consistent with our goal of "continuing to learn".

If you're sure about the above conclusion, you or your father will need to speak to the homeroom teacher about taking a leave of absence for more than 20 days and trying to come back to school and get back to normal learning.

[2

It's great that you're paying attention to your emotions and expressing them when it's appropriate. This is a good way to develop your emotional intelligence.

It could be an argument you had with your father on the way home, or a rebellion you had with your mother in the past. Either way, it shows you've started to think for yourself and have your own will. In psychology, this courageous expression and moderate rebellion symbolizes the awakening and establishment of self-awareness.

So you shouldn't doubt yourself for this reason. It's not "pretentious" at all. You'll thank yourself many years from now for all this awareness and hard work.

[3

You're doing great with making friends. It's good to have friends and social interaction, and you'll have plenty of time for that. There's no need to rush.

If you're the kind of person who thinks actively and wants to solve problems, enjoy life, and learn, then this isn't a problem. Going to college will come naturally to you. For now, you may need to focus more on studying.

Going to college is probably the best way for you to leave home and start living independently. It's also a great chance for you to try out all the ideas you've been thinking about today.

I love you, the world, and I support you.

Hello, I'm June!

From what you've told me, it seems like you're facing a lot of pressure from both your academic work and your family's expectations. I can sense that you have a lot of conflicting emotions inside, but you're afraid that you're "unaware of your blessings" and you're not sure how to express them. Is that right?

I'm a high school graduate. Today, I went home to rest for personal study reasons. On the way, I had a little tiff with my father. I was feeling a bit confused. In the past, I didn't know about many emotional problems. Today was the first time I got angry with my father. I felt pretty good when I got home, and I felt relieved. I was actually quite confused when I got home, though. I think I was confused because I was called home.

From what you've told me, I can tell you're feeling pretty angry. I'm not sure if I've understood you correctly, but I'm here to listen.

I know it can be tough when your current results don't meet your parents' expectations, especially when the college entrance exam is approaching. It's understandable that your parents have helped you apply for a leave of absence to give you a boost in this final sprint. It's natural to feel like you've already worked hard, and it's okay to feel like your parents don't fully understand what you've been through.

It's totally understandable to feel aggrieved and angry when you're the only one offering criticism and demands.

I'm also a mom to a high schooler, and I totally get it.

I'm sure many parents feel this way! I keep a close eye on my child's studies and grades because I want the best for her. I'm afraid that she might not get the education she deserves, or find a good job, or be happy in life.

I was also a little worried that she might feel resentful towards me in the future and think that I hadn't done enough as a mother.

I've learned so much from this experience! I now understand the impact my emotions have on my daughter and I've learned to let her take responsibility for her own life. I can clearly feel that my daughter is much happier now, which makes me so happy!

But, to be honest, whenever I see her playing with her phone or playing games, I still feel a little anxious inside, worried that she might become a bit too attached to them. I guess this is probably the challenge of being a parent, trying to find that balance of control and restraint in the name of love.

Then I listened to them talk about the methods they used to teach their children. They would say things like, "If you don't eat, I won't feed you," or "If you don't listen, I'll hit you." I realized that my concern for her had actually harmed her. I thought about how my mother had also taught me in that way, but I rebelled. I didn't listen to her and we had a fight [she was very aggressive]. I'm not very happy now. On the contrary, when I look at them now, they also had this kind of education. They didn't rebel, but they are happier than I am. For a moment, I felt like I was being too pretentious, asking for so much now, but I just don't understand.

From what you've told me, I can see you're feeling confused and conflicted. It's not easy when others around you seem to be able to handle the same kind of education, and you're struggling to find your way.

First, everyone's emotional sensitivity is different. Second, their parents may seem "harsh" but they can still be understanding and accepting when their children are vulnerable.

Every family is different, so there's no need to compare!

It's totally normal to feel this way! It's important to know that you don't have to rebel against your parents. They love you and want the best for you. But, if you don't say anything, they won't know how much pressure you're feeling. It's okay to feel this way, but arguing won't help.

If you can, it would be great if you could still communicate with your parents rationally.

Parents are anxious because they don't know your thoughts and are uncertain about your future life, so they are worried and scared. It would really help them if you could tell them your college entrance exam goals, your major plans, etc.

I'm sure your parents will feel a lot more relaxed and at ease when they know what you want to do and what your plans are.

I really hope this helps! Wishing you all the best!

My name is Gu Yi. I am humble and consistent.

Understand and perceive your emotions effectively.

Your description is confusing, but you've clearly expressed the ins and outs of the situation and your thoughts and feelings. We want to express our emotions, but they don't fit in with the surrounding environment, and we can't find a suitable emotional foothold.

As we grow up, we need an outlet for our emotions. Just as when facing a strong-willed mother, you hope to get everyone's attention by rebelling. But you can't find out whether you're right after rebelling.

We must ask ourselves: is the way we express our emotions correct? It is good to express emotions, but we must do so correctly if we want to grow.

You need to be yourself. That's the best solution.

You want to study hard but you're not doing very well. This is a problem with your learning methods, but you can avoid the lateness. We can't guarantee good grades, but you can guarantee a good attitude.

When your parents pick you up from school, they may not be very friendly to you. This is your chance to express your emotions. Is the process of expression out of control or within control?

It is crucial to be aware of our own emotions and those of others. To love, we must first learn to love ourselves. Every parent educates their child differently, and the child's response will also be different. So, take a deep breath and do what you know is right. Speak kindly.

Hello, I'm a Heart Exploration coach. Everything is easy. I've read your description. You have emotional, affective, and behavioral problems. I'll answer your questions and solve your problems.

You see yourself as someone who thinks positively and wants a happy life. This is a good quality. You can keep it.

Internal conflict

You used to hide your emotions. Now you want to understand and express them. You want to change. But other people seem unable to accept this. You are afraid of being called pretentious. This stops you from changing.

This is an ambivalent conflict.

Dealing with emotions

You couldn't sleep because a lot happened today that made you think about your inner world and the world of others. You started paying attention to your emotions and reactions.

This is a good start to self-awareness.

Today is the first time you've lost your temper with your father. You feel good about it. You feel relieved because you didn't suppress your emotions. You feel powerful. Your emotions are seen and accepted.

Emotions need to be expressed. Mindfulness meditation or mandala painting can help you relieve negative emotions and observe your body's feelings and thoughts.

Recognize your thoughts.

1⃣️What happened?

2⃣️ What did you think?

3⃣ Your emotions and behavior

You were sent home by the homeroom teacher today and told to come back after the first round of make-up classes, which will be over in about 20 days. You feel scared.

When you feel afraid, you can ask yourself "What am I thinking?" to understand your thoughts. You can write a thought record sheet to observe and record your thoughts.

1⃣ Today, I was sent home for being late. I have to go back in 20 days.

2⃣️ I thought the teacher hates me and doesn't want me at school. I might be expelled.

3⃣️I was scared and couldn't sleep.

Practice writing a thought record when bad emotions arise. This helps you understand how your mind works.

Growth through reflection.

You see that your relatives' children are obedient but happy, and you rebel, making yourself unhappy. You doubt whether you have been doing something wrong all along.

The age of the questioner is when their sense of self is first formed. They will often have internal conflicts and self-doubt, which is normal.

Our ideas about ourselves, others, and the world come from our relationships. You learn about the world by interacting with others.

This is how you grow up.

The original poster wants to experience and express emotions, which I think is good.

You are not wrong just because you are different. Respect your feelings. Try different things and you will know what is right for you.

Read books like "Empathy," "Empathic Communication," and "Nonviolent Communication" to understand your emotions and others better and to improve how you express emotions.

I haven't slept. Hope you get a good night's sleep.

Click below to find a coach, heart exploration, or to communicate with me one-on-one. Good luck!