Should I become a teacher, work for a state-owned enterprise, or follow my heart?

Good morning, I hope this message finds you well. I have a question for you.

Your parents may have aspirations for you to become a teacher or work for a state-owned enterprise, but you have a different vision for your future. You see yourself as a simple office worker with your own time, so that you can pursue your interests outside of work.

It is important to recognise that your current approach is based on past and present experiences, which may not fully align with the future challenges you are facing.

The role of a teacher is inherently demanding and challenging. Apart from the summer and winter breaks, teachers are typically engaged in lesson preparation. However, in the context of the current drive towards comprehensive burden reduction, it is uncertain whether teachers will face increased workloads or reduced responsibilities in the future.

While working in a state-owned enterprise may appear to be a relatively straightforward undertaking, it is important to recognise the role that interpersonal relationships play in ensuring a positive and productive working environment. The question then becomes: what does it mean to 'get by' well?

Promotion? Financial gain?

If you work for a foreign company, you can expect a standard workweek of 9-5, with a normal weekend. However, if you are informed that in a foreign company, you will also be required to work overtime until 9 o'clock, attend frequent meetings, and your work is monotonous, would you reconsider your position?

While work is often seen as a mere job, some individuals aspire to build a career out of their profession. They seek out engaging roles that can provide them with a fulfilling and long-lasting career.

In today's society, many jobs are no longer lifelong. If you are interested in pursuing a particular career path, you have the option of doing so.

For instance, if you have a passion for painting and game development, you may wish to explore opportunities in related fields. You may even discover a more engaging career path than teaching.

I hope you will find my answer helpful and inspiring.

Hello, question asker.

It seems like you're facing a dilemma. On the one hand, you want to pursue your interests and dreams, but on the other hand

You have to take care of your parents' feelings and be willing to compromise, even if it's a job you don't like.

First of all, make sure you're truly a dutiful daughter, because it's your genuine filial piety that has become

The career dilemma you're facing has one big obstacle.

I'm not sure if you're a male or female friend.

I think you're a girl, so I imagine your parents will only ask you to

I think being a teacher is a way for most parents with traditional values to show their love for their daughters.

Are the difficulties you're facing and the dilemma you're in choosing a career related to the generational gaps between you and your parents?

There are some pretty big differences in terms of how we think, what we value, how we see the world, and how we see careers.

It can be tough to get them to respect your ideas.

How can we get past this impasse?

First, decide on a goal: do you want to live for yourself?

Or do you want to do what your parents want and live for them for a while?

This process is full of challenges because your career choice is like making a decision about your future.

Your career is basically a way of life. It's about navigating a certain circle and social group, where the risks, treatment, responsibilities, and freedoms are all different.

What do you think?

When you make a choice, you need to think about what you like and don't like, as well as your interests, hobbies, and personality traits.

And after you've made your choice, do you think you'll regret it?

Second, once you've made up your mind, put in the work right away.

You need to bring together the resources you can find within this family and build an alliance to help you achieve your goals.

On top of that, you need to understand why your parents don't support you. You need to let them know that no matter which career you choose,

Will they ever give up on their love for you?

If they love you, they'll respect your choice, too.

Third, my personal advice is:

Since you're still young, you can try to develop your dream career and let your parents know what you want.

You can prepare for the teacher's exam and you are allowed to work in a foreign company for two to three years. How can you give up without experiencing it?

Just a heads-up, the above analysis and suggestions are for reference only.

I'm Consultant Yao. I'll keep supporting and keeping an eye on you!

Hello, question asker! First of all, congratulations on being an excellent person in your own right. You have an enviable academic background and experience studying at a prestigious university, highly valuable qualifications, relevant professional internship experience, and hobbies and ideals that you have never given up and don't want to give up. It can be seen that your spiritual support is three-dimensional and diverse, and your soul is interesting and agile. You deserve to have multiple options, but it is precisely because there are so many life options that it is easy to become entangled. You need to choose the path that suits you better.

You want to have time for work and time for yourself. You want to create value in your job and continue to pursue your hobbies and interests. These values conflict with those of your parents, who probably believe that you should devote yourself to your work and that young people should strive to succeed, and that you shouldn't waste time on "frivolous pursuits." They may think that your ideas are a distraction from your work. You know better.

First of all, I understand and support your values. The diversity of spiritual pursuits among young people today is beneficial for promoting physical and mental health, which will in turn further help with their work. Life is a long journey, and what determines whether a person has gone far enough is not just the moment they start running, but also whether they have a strong enough body and spirit to persevere and finish the long run. That is why we say, "Perseverance is victory" and "The last one standing is the winner."

I agree with your parents' reasonable views. We must do our own work well while insisting on our interests and hobbies. This is not only ethical but also a reflection of our sense of responsibility to our organization and society. Especially during the period when you first start working, no matter if your main job is leisurely or busy, you will not find it easy. You may think that working in a state-owned enterprise is very leisurely, but that may be because you were only in the internship stage and were exposed to relatively simple work. Any job, as long as you dig and research deeply and want to achieve results, will not be easy or simple.

As a newcomer, you will inevitably face conflicts between your main job and your hobbies. Your sense of responsibility will tell you to focus on your main job. After 2-3 years, you will have the time and energy to balance your hobbies.

I'd also like to say a few words about state-owned enterprises, because I currently work for one. While a person's background and connections are important, they are only the stepping stones to getting into a state-owned enterprise. To succeed in a state-owned enterprise, performance is the key. Any organization needs talented people. Regarding emotional intelligence, whether it is a state-owned enterprise or a foreign enterprise, as long as there are people, there will be politics and interactions with people. Cooperation is essential to achieve results. This is true for state-owned and foreign enterprises alike. People in foreign enterprises are even more terrible when they are scheming against each other. If there is an internship opportunity, seize it!

You are fundamentally kind and simple, so I suggest you go to a state-owned or foreign enterprise where interpersonal relationships are straightforward and the corporate culture is relatively nice. To see if a company matches your own characteristics, observe the company's leaders and your own direct supervisors. As the saying goes, "No weak soldiers under a strong general," and "What kind of person produces what kind of soldiers." If a company's leaders are upright, kind, generous, have a broad outlook, and are visionary, then the people they recruit and develop will not be bad.

In summary, we must recognize the benefits of our own values and beliefs while acknowledging the limitations they may pose. It's important to understand that some of your parents' views can offset those limitations. We must acknowledge the shortcomings of our parents but also recognize the distinctive mindset and sense of responsibility that defined people in their generation. We can learn from others' strengths and compensate for our own weaknesses. Ultimately, we must take responsibility for our choices and embrace the path we choose.

Best wishes!

Hello, question asker!

I understand your inner turmoil, and I'm here to help. You're a filial child with a clear sense of self and a strong sense of purpose. Your ideas are mature, and I'm confident you'll succeed.

As your career counselor, I am going to make a few points for your reference.

1. Tell me your true ideals and goals.

You like to paint and make games in your spare time and want to have enough time for your hobbies. You want to find a job that is fairly relaxed, gives you time for yourself, and isn't too stressful.

I believe this may be a superficial need. It is evident that you have a background in journalism and education, and you can excel in either field.

I have a question for you. Why did you initially study journalism, and why did you switch from journalism to education when you went to graduate school? Did you just follow your parents' wishes? Or did you have a dream of working in journalism or education at one point?

You must consider your real goal from the bottom-level interests, motivations, and value needs. Your past experiences and background, your interests and hobbies, may seem unrelated, but at the bottom, there is definitely a common driving force, or a shared vision and goal.

You must analyze yourself, identify your true vision and expectations, and then deconstruct your current goals.

Don't think that your hobbies are just a hobby and your work is just about making a living. Your hobbies can actually complement your work.

Communication skills, emotional intelligence, time management skills, etc. can be exercised at work and also provide greater room for development for your hobbies.

2. Which option will bring you closer to your ideal?

You currently have three options: 1) Language teacher: You'll be working long hours, including summers and winter breaks. 2) State-owned enterprise: You'll need to leverage your background and connections to advance. 3) Foreign enterprise: You'll have a more flexible schedule, with 9-to-6 hours and the opportunity to pursue your interests outside of work.

But is that really the case?

You must benchmark the industry/company/career, look at the job requirements yourself, and at the same time find someone on the inside (preferably someone who has worked there but left in the end) to conduct a career interview. This is the only way to obtain first-hand information about the job. You need to know what the real work environment is like, the content, pressure, time allocation, whether the leaders and colleagues are easy to get along with, the development space, salary and benefits, etc.

I need to know if the three options you know so far are sufficient.

From my understanding, foreign companies are no easier than state-owned enterprises. The emotional intelligence required in state-owned enterprises is something you will encounter in all aspects of your life. Don't label yourself or avoid a job because of this. Is being a language teacher more in line with your ideals and expectations? Is your real vision to do education, help people, or just make a living and earn some money? Everyone ultimately hopes to create greater social value. Look at the profession of a teacher again from this perspective.

I'm just giving you a simple hint. Some jobs may seem good, but they're not. Some jobs may not be suitable for you, but that doesn't mean they're not. And some jobs may be bad, but that doesn't mean they're completely bad.

It still needs further sorting and analysis.

3. I need to know how to convince my parents.

You must follow your heart and choose a job you really want.

You need to do this now. If you don't, you'll end up unhappy at work, unable to balance your interests, and your life will suffer. You'll blame your parents or yourself for not being brave enough.

You're only 23, so you have plenty of time to grow. The key is to take back control and take responsibility for your life and choices. I've met people in their 50s who blame others for their problems because they've never taken responsibility for themselves.

You need to figure out how to convince your parents.

You will find a way to convince them as long as you have the courage to be yourself. They are not discouraging you, stopping you, or preventing you from making your own choices. You are the one who does not believe in yourself and is not firm enough in your own choices.

If you are courageous enough, you will have the corresponding wisdom. Find some people who have been interviewed, show them the authoritative information you have collected, communicate with them seriously, and sincerely analyze your own thoughts on life and the future. Care about and empathize with their feelings and needs. It is not to stop you; it is to ensure you do not suffer if you choose the wrong path.

You have the wisdom and courage to think clearly about your future path and communicate with your parents.

You will find your ideal career and become the person you want to be. I am certain of it. Best of luck!

Hello!

From what you've told me, it seems like you're looking for a way to have more free time and to be less tired. I totally get it! We all want to have time to do the things we like.

The other is an environment where you don't want to look at the background, backstage, or emotional intelligence.

Based on these two points, I'd love to make a few guesses about what you might need.

First of all, you probably don't have particularly high demands when it comes to power and money. It seems like you'd rather develop your "career" in your favorite field than work hard at "work." That's great! Your interests and passions may take precedence over your pursuit of power structures.

And you mentioned a foreign company, but it seems like what you really want is a stable weekend rather than a high salary.

Secondly, it seems like your need for work is more about having a source of income to support your lifestyle and your hobbies. So it's likely that what's really important to you is job stability, including career development stability and a stable cash flow.

If I've got this right, I've got some extra info for you.

[1. Job stability, free time, and work intensity]

(1) State-owned enterprises

One of the best things about state-owned enterprises is that they're pretty stable. The nature of the enterprise helps you cover the bottom line, and you don't usually have to face the risk directly. You just need to do your part well within your area of responsibility, and that's basically it!

The impact of this pandemic on companies has far exceeded what many people expected. Many private companies have either closed down or laid off a large number of employees, which is really sad. But the good news is that state-owned enterprises can still find a way to cope even when they are incurring huge losses. The worst that can happen is that everyone will have to work a little harder and accept a lower salary. But at least having a job gives you hope, and you can still find a way to turn losses into profits.

Of course, many people will choose to jump out on their own and look for other opportunities, but this approach of facing risks head-on may not be what you want.

State-owned enterprises are great for stability on a macro level, but when it comes to specific work projects, things might not always go as smoothly. The West has a long history of industrial development, and that kind of industrial workshop process has also been brought to corporate production.

So every matter and every project will have a strict process and schedule, and everything will be in order.

State-owned enterprises are also developing in this direction, but for now, the overall situation is still relatively loose. This just means that you need to be prepared for your work schedule to be interrupted at any time and for sudden high-intensity overtime work, because the leader suddenly has an idea.

If you're not lucky enough to work in a department with a leader who has a lot of ideas, high-intensity overtime might be the norm. And state-owned enterprises don't have very strict management regulations for "overtime," so weekends off are basically guaranteed, but you can't be guaranteed them.

I have a friend who made the switch from a state-owned enterprise to a junior high school Chinese teacher, so I can't say for sure which is better.

(2) Foreign companies

As we've already chatted about, foreign companies have a really solid and reliable work structure. They also have pretty strict rules about taking vacations, whether it's weekends or annual leave. So, you can rest assured that you'll get to enjoy your free time just the way you want to!

On the bright side, foreign companies tend to offer more generous benefits, salaries, and treatment. If you think about it from the perspective of supporting your life and hobbies, foreign companies can give you more disposable resources, which is great!

(State-owned enterprises also have some great benefits, and they're more reflected in various types of logistical and living support.)

But also because of the mature industrial model, a reliable foreign company will really focus on getting results. It doesn't matter how you do it, what matters is that you deliver what your boss needs, when they need it.

Your boss will make sure you get your vacation days, but if you can't deliver what's expected on schedule, your boss also has the power to decide other things. This means that efficiency is just as important as intensity.

One of my high school classmates works for a foreign-owned company. It's a great company, but they don't have a rule about it. It's just the way things are done there!

You also brought up another thing that can be tricky about working for a foreign company. Since they don't have the same social responsibilities as domestic companies, they're only evaluated based on their own standards when it comes to risk. This can sometimes lead to them being overlooked.

[2. Background, Backstage, and Emotional Intelligence]

I've got some good news and some bad news for you.

The good news is that you can absolutely make it in a state-owned enterprise without any background or connections! As mentioned earlier, you just need to do your part well and let the big machine run itself.

And even though state-owned enterprises are starting to integrate with the market, there's still a pretty set way to move up in the company. The key is just to make it through the time limit and you'll be able to slowly move up.

I totally get why some folks are unhappy with the seniority system in state-owned enterprises.

When it comes to emotional intelligence, you don't have to be a people pleaser. Just treat people well and stick to your own bottom line, and you'll be just fine!

Unfortunately, it's not just state-owned companies that look at background and connections. A 2016 survey by the Fraunhofer Institute for Labor Economics and Organization found that 70% of managerial-level positions in Germany are obtained through introductions.

It's true that you can't necessarily apply everything you read in German reports to all foreign companies. But you can definitely see a pattern!

I think this is actually pretty easy to understand. Most people's abilities fall within a normal distribution, with a few superstars at either end and most people falling somewhere in the middle. When there are not enough jobs for everyone, it's only natural that leadership positions depend on factors outside of work, like background and connections.

Just like when you're looking for a restaurant, you're more likely to go to the one with a better reputation, stronger background, or one that your friends recommend.

But don't worry! Even if you don't have a background or connections, you can still make up for it by "pulling strings" with your leader. And when I say "pulling strings," I don't mean flattery.

It's not about boasting in companies, it's about work performance. That's true in both state-owned and foreign enterprises. If you can consistently deliver work results, have a positive attitude, don't make any major mistakes, and build up a reputation for being reliable, your "relationship" with your leader will give you an advantage over others.

[3. Toss a coin]

Having said all that, there's not much difference between state-owned and foreign-funded enterprises. They both have their own advantages!

A state-owned enterprise will give you the security of a stable job, while a foreign enterprise will give you the benefit of a more standardized workflow and schedule.

As for how to choose, it's totally up to you. But if you're really stuck, you might want to consider "tossing a coin."

There's a saying that if you can't decide between two options, you should flip a coin. If you really have a preference, you'll know the answer the moment you flip it. Even if you don't have a preference, the coin can still help you make a decision.

I'm not saying you should actually flip a coin, but it might help to act as if you were. That way, you can break away from the dilemma and enter the mode of action.

Don't worry, applying to a state-owned enterprise and applying to a foreign enterprise are not mutually exclusive. If you really can't decide, then simply apply to both!

Just like tossing a coin, there will be two outcomes. First, you'll know whether you really want the job the moment you submit your resume or enter the interview. Second, even if you can't make up your mind, you can wait for the coin to tell you the result. See which company will hire you, and if both do, see which one has better prospects, pays more, and whose work content is more suitable for you to develop your "career."

I really hope this information is helpful for you!

Good morning. I am Yan Shiqi, and I am honored to have the opportunity to respond to your question.

As children, when confronted with life choices, parents will, out of love, offer their experiences and ideas as guidance.

In light of the aforementioned considerations, it is possible to comprehend the circumstances of the questioner.

The decision-making process is contingent upon the individual's clarity of purpose and autonomy in their life choices.

Firstly, a career as a language teacher, within the context of a state-owned enterprise, or within the context of a foreign enterprise are all viable and desirable career paths. The distinction between these three career paths lies in their respective levels of stability.

The majority of parents from the older generation would consider teaching to be the most suitable career for girls. This is due to a combination of factors, including the growing social recognition of the profession, the relatively low risks involved, and the relatively simple and straightforward professional circle.

In the context of state-owned enterprises, it is noteworthy to mention a particular saying prevalent in Shandong, the province of my origin. This saying, as observed by this generation of parents, suggests a perception that individuals not employed in civil service roles are not engaged in suitable careers. This perception is particularly prevalent when parents are seeking a potential spouse for their children. In such instances, the parents' initial reaction to a prospective son-in-law's occupation is often one of disapproval, particularly if it is not aligned with a civil service role or a recognized career path.

This illustrates the affirmation and aspiration of the parent generation for state-owned enterprises.

The circle of state-owned enterprises is somewhat larger than that of teachers, yet it is relatively stable. Despite the necessity to commence at the fundamental level, instances of layoffs and company closures are essentially nonexistent.

With regard to foreign companies, it is evident that they are perceived as the most challenging career options by parents. In addition to the inherent instability of such roles, it is also apparent that the associated work pressure is typically high, which is more difficult for parents to accept.

Therefore, the majority of parents will make this decision.

2. The decision regarding one's occupation is ultimately one's own, as is the choice of how to allocate one's time.

As a result of the comprehensive overview provided in the initial article, we have gained insight into the attributes that parents consider to be indicative of a favorable employment opportunity.

However, when considering personal development, it is not always evident which option will prove most beneficial.

Foreign companies represent the optimal avenue for acquiring experience. The rationale for this assertion is as follows:

The management of foreign companies is relatively forward-thinking. For those seeking to establish their own careers, gaining experience in a foreign company is an invaluable opportunity, offering a unique perspective and skillset.

It is evident that the majority of successful entrepreneurs and CEOs have gained valuable experience in the context of foreign companies. The competitive environment and high pressure within these organisations provide an effective learning environment, enabling individuals to develop and excel.

However, if the individual's primary objective is to secure employment, then state-owned enterprises and teaching positions are also viable options.

I recall attending a community event where an entrepreneur made a presentation. I found one of his comments particularly insightful.

The precise wording of the aforementioned statement eludes my recollection; however, the general import of the message was that, should one possess a cherished ambition that is not endorsed by one's parents, it is advisable to pursue it regardless. It is unwise to attempt to align one's perspective with that of one's parents, given the accelerated pace of change in the world. Consequently, their worldview and opinions are likely to have evolved.

If the questioner is uncertain, it may be advantageous to pursue employment with a foreign company during one's formative years. Should this prove unsuccessful, the option remains to pursue the civil service examination or a career in teaching.

It is, however, the case that gaining employment with a foreign company is more challenging for those who are older.

This is my response, and I hope it proves useful.

Xiao Wan's response was as follows:

Teaching or working in a state-owned enterprise is undoubtedly a stable choice, offering a guaranteed income and minimal risk. However, for those who are relatively strong, there may be a sense of not being fully utilized or underutilized. In such cases, it may be advisable to follow one's heart.

Those with considerable strength of character may experience a certain degree of reluctance when considering employment in a state-owned enterprise as a teacher.

For those who are neither particularly strong nor exceptional, a middle-of-the-road career in teaching or a state-owned enterprise may be a suitable option. Given the difficulty and unpredictability involved in achieving one's dreams and ideals, it is not uncommon for individuals to face challenges in doing so. While many people may not succeed in attaining their aspirations, those who do are often distinguished by their exceptional strength and determination.

If one desires to work for a foreign company, one's parents will experience distress; similarly, if one opts to work for a state-owned enterprise or to return to school, one will experience distress oneself. The question thus arises: what is the optimal course of action? Since antiquity, the concepts of loyalty and filial piety have been mutually exclusive. Pursuing a position in a state-owned enterprise or returning to school appears to be a means of fulfilling one's filial piety, whereas pursuing a position in a foreign company seems to be a means of being loyal to oneself and one's dreams. There is no perfect solution in this world. One will not disappoint one's parents and one will not disappoint oneself.

Given the inherent incompatibility of loyalty and filial piety, it is necessary to prioritize one over the other.

In general, parents are better able to cope with adversity than children, due to their greater life experience. If one prioritizes one's parents' wishes above one's own, one may find oneself dissatisfied with the resulting lifestyle, unable to fully devote oneself to it, and lacking the capacity to excel in it.

Furthermore, failure to perform the duties expected of one by one's parents can be perceived as a lack of filial piety, as it results in disappointment on the part of the parents.

It is therefore preferable to be loyal to one's aspirations initially. Should one be able to demonstrate excellence in a foreign company and receive a superior remuneration package to that offered by a state-owned enterprise or educational establishment, would one's parents still have grounds to insist on pursuing employment in those two sectors?

Therefore, regardless of whether one adheres to their heart's desires or their parents' expectations, the ultimate decision rests with the individual and their comprehensive strength of character.

The act of working, regardless of the specific occupation, is perceived as a fundamental aspect of life. In the context of low remuneration, such as the 800 yuan monthly income associated with these two roles, the act of work is experienced as a source of distress, prompting individuals to express their desire to avoid it. In such instances, parents often play a pivotal role in influencing their children's decisions, exerting a strong influence to dissuade them from pursuing these roles.

It is not that parents are obliged to consent to their children's departure from the family home; rather, they consider the income to be relatively high. They do not seek to impose their will upon their offspring or to become involved in their personal lives. Their attitude is simply one of satisfaction with the remuneration offered by the two jobs in question.

Hello, I'm the one who brings peace of mind. I'm grateful to have met you.

Good job! I want to give you a big thumbs-up first of all.

After college, you're faced with the choice of employment and don't know how to decide. In fact, from the text, you've already analyzed the pros and cons of each choice, and perhaps you already have a general direction in mind, right?

As a language teacher, you have a lot on your plate, leaving little time for your other interests, like painting. Is this something you're struggling with?

State-owned enterprises have a relaxed work schedule and a decent amount of free time, but you were concerned that you lacked the right background and emotional intelligence, and you might struggle with interpersonal relationships.

If you went with your gut and took a job at a foreign company, your parents weren't just against it, they were pretty adamant about it.

I'd like to ask you about your relationship with your parents when you were younger. Did you choose your studies, school, major, and even your postgraduate studies?

If so, you're a child with your own ideas, thoughts, and opinions. This choice should be easy for you. Just follow your heart.

If not, did your parents make the choice for you? How did you feel about it at the time?

Did you accept it without a problem? Or did you try to talk to your parents and tell them what you wanted and why?

If there was communication, what was the parents' attitude?

It seems like there was no point in talking to your parents about your career choice, as they were set on their decision, right?

I want you to believe that parents love their children and always want the best for them.

It might be the best thing, but it might just be what they think is best, not necessarily what the child wants.

Are you ready to have an honest conversation with your parents? Let them know that you've grown up and are ready to take responsibility for your own life. Ask them for their support, understanding, and encouragement.

They might not be able to accept it at first, so it might be best to give them more time and wait for them to come around.

When they realize that their child is not just an extension of themselves, but an independent individual with their own life, they'll realize that they can't take responsibility for their child's life. Even parents can't do it for them.

Don't be in a hurry to disagree with me. When you're ready, the answer will come to you.

When you tell yourself, "This is my own life, and I am willing and able to take responsibility for it," you'll see that you've always had the right to choose. You just gave it up before.

So, are you going to give up again this time?

At the end of the day, I really hope you follow your heart and live your life.

Hello, my name is Strawberry.

From your description, I can see that you are troubled by what kind of work you should do. You currently have three options: one is to become a Chinese teacher, the other is to work for a state-owned enterprise, and the other is to work for a foreign enterprise. Your parents hope that you become a teacher, while you yourself prefer to work for a foreign enterprise. You have already completed an internship as a teacher, and you are responsible for the content of the work, which is not a problem. However, you are afraid that you may not be able to handle various problems with students well.

The parents of the questioner, having experienced these things firsthand, may be in a better position to offer guidance on which of the three options would be the more suitable choice. They may also have a broader perspective on the possibilities. The long-term benefits of being a teacher are indeed very attractive.

It might depend on the school. From the perspective of my friends and my own mother, who was also a teacher, the workload they usually handle is not particularly heavy. They are responsible for their own subjects, prepare for classes, check homework, etc. They also have weekends off, and there is no need to work overtime. Some of them can even pursue their own interests when they are not teaching.

I am wondering whether I should become a teacher or work for a state-owned enterprise, or whether I should follow my heart.

It might be helpful to allow yourself time to adapt.

Starting any new job is a challenge, and it's important to allow yourself time to adjust. Once you've settled in, you'll likely find it's not as difficult as you imagined. When considering your options, it's helpful to revisit the pros and cons of each. If possible, it's also valuable to experience each option firsthand to gain a deeper understanding. After all, we all have different perspectives and experiences.

It might be helpful to communicate with your parents.

If the questioner is interested in working for a foreign company, what are some of the reasons behind this decision? Do you think these reasons could potentially convince your parents?

It might be helpful to consider that your parents may not have all the information they need to make an informed decision about your future. While they have played an important role in your academic journey, it's also important to recognize your own autonomy and agency in making decisions about your life and career.

It is also worth noting that excessive anxiety on the part of parents can have an impact on the lives of those who are questioning their choices. There is a fear of seeing them sighing with regret. We choose to work not only because it is a hobby, but also because the goal is to make money. This can then become a kind of enjoyment, rather than making you feel like you are completing a task every day. It may be helpful for the questioner to communicate more with their parents and let them give them a chance to try what they want in their hearts. If the questioner insists, their parents can't force them to do it in the end.

If we are suffering from the arrangements of our parents and also the fear of making the wrong choice, perhaps we could try paying more attention to ourselves. This might help us look at problems from different perspectives and get different solutions.

It might be helpful to consider using hobbies to relieve your emotions. In response to the questioner's concerns, it seems that their parents are experiencing some anxiety. This could be because emotions can be contagious, and the questioner is also affected by their emotions. The questioner mentions that they enjoy painting and making small games, so it might be beneficial to incorporate these hobbies into their routine to gradually help them feel more at ease. It's understandable that the questioner is seeking employment to better manage their time and continue pursuing their hobbies. When we have a clear understanding of the responsibilities associated with the work we're responsible for and know in advance that there won't be any unexpected overtime, it can make it easier to decide what kind of work is right for us.

It might be helpful to consider how dopamine can influence our mindset. This is one of the "happy hormones" in our brain. When our dopamine levels are appropriate, we tend to feel happy and have a positive and optimistic attitude towards everything. There are many ways to increase dopamine in our bodies. Some examples include engaging in sports, listening to music, spending time in nature, and so on.

Sometimes, we may be more inclined to keep our thoughts to ourselves and not confide in others. In such instances, it can be beneficial to turn on a computer or take a notebook and express the issues that are troubling us one by one. It is important to record these thoughts in a casual manner, allowing us to understand our emotions and feelings more clearly. After writing, it can be helpful to go back and read what we have written. This process can help us recognize that the problems we initially perceived as significant may not be as overwhelming as we thought. It can also provide insights into potential solutions.

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner. Wishing you the best.

Hello. Well done for getting an academic-level diploma. This means you can choose between teaching, state-owned enterprises and foreign enterprises.

The questioner is unsure about choosing a career. He doesn't want to obey his parents. His parents are sad when he doesn't listen to them. He finds it hard to choose.

I don't think anyone will just say whether they support your dream or listen to your parents. There's too much uncertainty.

I don't know if the questioner is a boy or a girl, if there is financial pressure to buy a house, if there is a plan to have children, if you want a stable job or are willing to take on challenges, and if so, whether your family can help you get through difficult times. Every job will face problems of tiredness, background, and emotional intelligence. No job requires no hard work. Background plays a role for a while, but not forever. Emotional intelligence can be improved at work. A master's degree from the University of Hong Kong will also improve your abilities in this area.

Think about your future life when choosing a career. Consider your family situation and long-term planning. There are many unsatisfactory aspects of state-owned enterprises, but if you are capable, there is room for development. Foreign companies often see Chinese people as work machines and don't promote them. Some companies don't protect women during childbirth.

If you have to make a choice, you need to consider many factors, such as salary, work emphasis, employee benefits, future development, and distance from home to the city where the job is located. In this process, the relationship with your parents is complementary, and you discuss from different perspectives.

Your generation won't stay in one job forever.

Don't decide on one future path right away. Work with your parents to find the best choice among many options.

Dear Question Owner, After reviewing your statement, I understand that you are at a crossroads in your career, facing a pivotal decision about your next steps. I would like to extend my congratulations to you on your academic achievements, including your Bachelor's degree from a 211 university and your Master's degree from the Chinese University of Hong Kong. Currently, you have a diverse range of employment options, which is a stark contrast to the reality faced by many individuals today, who often have limited choices.

Your parents' expectations are that you become a teacher or work in a state-owned enterprise, preferably as a teacher. You enjoy drawing and illustrating, and you are interested in design and similar activities. Consequently, you hope that your future career will not be too demanding, that you will have sufficient personal time, and that you can work for a foreign enterprise with a 9-to-5 workweek and weekends off.

Please find my views below for your reference.

When choosing a career, it is important to consider both suitability and personal interest. Additionally, it is valuable to assess the potential for applying your learning and the career development prospects. From a purely present-focused perspective, I may not be the ideal candidate for this role.

Teaching is a challenging profession, but it offers numerous benefits. It aligns with your major, provides weekends off, and offers summer and winter vacations. Initially, you will likely be a teacher, which is a demanding role. However, with experience, you may find it less exhausting. Additionally, there is potential for growth in the administrative sector. Schools require administrative support, and they seek managers with education backgrounds like yours.

Let us now turn our attention to the foreign company you are hoping to join. In the past, foreign companies in China enjoyed preferential treatment, which allowed them to offer high salaries and ensure their employees could rest on time. However, this is no longer the case.

It should be noted that while foreign companies may appear to be more lenient with regard to weekends and holidays, this is only in relation to working hours. After work, it is not uncommon for employees to take the initiative to work overtime. This is in line with the understanding that high pay comes with high pressure. It is not unusual for employees to recharge their batteries outside of work, even if they do not work overtime.

Foreign companies maintain high standards of performance, which may appear relaxed but are in fact quite rigorous.

I am unaware of the industry in which the state-owned enterprise in question operates, nor can I comment on its future prospects. What I can say with certainty, however, is that work in state-owned enterprises is typically straightforward, which aligns with your stated requirements.

The above represents my opinion for your consideration, and the questioner is encouraged to review it in its entirety.

Hello, question asker!

I'm excited to hear more about your vision for the future! From what I've read, it's clear that you've already taken the Chinese teacher qualification exam and participated in teaching practice. This shows that you've been eager to try this job. However, through personal experience and consulting with your classmates, you've discovered that being a teacher is "very busy" and "very tiring," except during the summer and winter vacations. Regarding the idea of going to a state-owned enterprise, I don't know if you've also taken certain actions, or if you're currently just stuck in a stereotype. Also, you mentioned

I'd love to give you some advice on employment, but it's difficult to do so in just 300 words. However, I'd still like to chat with you and see where your amazing journey takes you!

Who is responsible for whose life?

First of all, congratulations on your successful graduation from a prestigious university! From undergraduate to postgraduate, your academic performance has been nothing short of impressive. While you were at school, you had the luxury of focusing on your studies. Now that you are about to leave campus and enter society, it's time to consider all the exciting opportunities that await you!

For example, when looking for a job, you get to decide whether to work inside or outside the system, whether to seek stability or freedom, whether the major is relevant, whether there is a lot of overtime, whether the pay is good, whether the workplace is in the south or the north, in a big city or a small city... For a 23-year-old, it is really not easy to make a choice that you will not regret. Parents, teachers, classmates and friends can all provide you with some reference opinions, but the best thing you can do is take responsibility for your own life!

[Describe your dream for the future]

From your text, it's clear you've taken the Chinese teacher qualification exam and participated in teaching practice, which shows you've been eager to try this job. Through personal experience and consulting with your classmates, you've discovered that being a teacher is "very busy" and "very tiring," except during the summer and winter vacations. As for the idea of going to a state-owned enterprise, I'm excited to hear if you've taken certain actions or if you're currently exploring this option.

You also mentioned that you have always wanted to work for a foreign company, which is fantastic! Have you done any research to learn more about working in a foreign company? For example, what kind of industries are there, which foreign companies are there, what positions are suitable for recent graduates, and do they meet your expectations in terms of salary and benefits? I'm sure you'll find the perfect fit!

[A true passion will take you far!]

I just have to praise you again for your excellence! You can absolutely maintain good academic performance while developing your interests and specialties. Your heart must be full of motivation for these aspects. When you're considering your career options, you can easily balance your work and hobbies in the same way you balance your studies and hobbies!

There are so many possibilities out there for you! You could find a job that requires drawing and making games, or you could even find a way to creatively incorporate drawing and making games into your work. Either way, your passion will always be there with you, bringing you happiness.

I'm really excited for you! I hope that you have a great interview and sign a contract with a company that's perfect for you in the next few months.

Hello, question asker! I am Jia Ao Bu Xun.

Your parents want you to become a Chinese teacher because you majored in Chinese. You want to try working for a foreign company so that you can still have time to develop your hobbies. You're confused about whether you should listen to your heart or follow the career path your parents hope for.

You need to analyze and sort out your problems.

Your actual situation is as follows:

"I'm 23, I have a journalism degree from a top university, and I've got a postgraduate education in education from the Chinese University of Hong Kong."

"State-owned enterprises value background and connections and are afraid of not doing well." "My hobbies are drawing and making games."

Your parents' view is clear:

They want you to have a stable job and to choose a career in a state-owned enterprise or as a language teacher. They prefer you to be a language teacher, and they resent you spending time and energy on your hobbies.

I have a few suggestions for you.

From your description, it's clear you're confused and at a loss when it comes to choosing your future career. You're facing pressure from your parents, which is making it even more difficult for you. But when it comes to your future career development, would you really listen to your parents' advice and go into a stable industry, rather than a job you're interested in? Would you really stick to it?

2. You're better off choosing a job and sticking to what you like and are interested in than listening to your parents and taking a job you don't like. If you become a language teacher, you'll complain to your parents when you're busy and tired, and you won't want to do your best at work. But if it's your own choice, you'll persevere no matter how difficult it is. That's the essential difference.

3. If you want to work for a foreign company, then do it! Don't overthink it. Happiness at work and heartfelt joy are things many people seek but cannot find.

A public institution offers job stability, which is based on the survival and stability considerations of parents' generation. It's not completely difficult for you, but your position is different. It depends on whether you value spiritual or material needs more.

Take a comprehensive career assessment before making your final choice. This will help you choose a career you're interested in with broad development prospects. This way, you'll have a better idea and a clear plan for your future career development.

"Sharpening the knife does not delay the firewood cutting." You must be determined, bold, and choose the work you like. No matter which industry you choose, you will not regret it.

5. Your parents' hearts are the same as all parents' hearts in the world. They want you to be stable and carefree, and they also want you to have a promising future. "Hope their children become successful" is a kind of self-projection effect from a psychological point of view. It's imposing one's own emotions and will on the other, wanting the other to fulfill one's own wishes.

6. This also reflects that your parents still have great expectations of you, but they don't consider your true feelings and impose their opinions on you blindly. They also don't allow you to have your own interests and hobbies, which hurts the relationship between you and them and causes conflicts and arguments. You can try to consider things from their perspective, communicate with them honestly, tell them your true inner desires, and seek their understanding and support. This is better than you endlessly arguing with each other.

7. In the end, you must choose a path and be confident in your decision. Every industry has its pros and cons. There's no such thing as a perfect job. What you've learned so far is just the tip of the iceberg. Only when you've experienced it yourself will you have a stronger say. Putting aside your interests and hobbies, once you've taken a job, responsibility and commitment are the most important things. Only by loving what you do can you have a clear conscience.

I am confident that my reply has inspired you. The world and I love you ♥

Hello, questioner!

When it comes to choosing a career, you have the exciting opportunity to listen to your parents and choose between teaching or a state-owned enterprise, or you can follow your heart and choose the career you love!

First of all, you should know that your true inner thoughts are that you want to choose a career you love! The reason you are now torn is because you are concerned about your parents' feelings. You don't want them to sigh every day and not look at you with a good face.

Parents and we have different educational backgrounds and growth experiences, so we will definitely have different opinions on the same thing—and that's a great thing!

You can get some paper and have a brainstorming session with the three members of your family. It's a great idea to try to use the six thinking hats method to make a decision!

Absolutely! Wear a different colored hat each time. Think in terms of the qualities associated with that color. And summarize and write down everyone's comments.

Then, it's time for the next hat!

White thinking cap – objective and rational!

Take a deep breath and look at the big picture! When teachers have holidays, the specifics of the school holidays and the work situation of teachers are also different.

Not all state-owned enterprises have the stereotypical image portrayed in movies and television dramas. Take the China Aerospace Group, for example! Just look at the engineers in each position during each spacecraft launch. They're young, ambitious, and ready to take on the world!

Did they get to where they are by relying on so-called background and emotional intelligence? Absolutely not!

Imagine this: you're entering your preferred foreign company. You're excited to see what it's like! But wait, how much do you really know about foreign companies, working hours, work pace, and pressure? Are you sure you can handle it?

?️ Green thinking cap – creativity and imagination

Just imagine for a moment the incredible freedom of a teacher's holiday, the unparalleled leisure of a state-owned enterprise, and the exhilarating freedom of a foreign enterprise. Don't worry about right or wrong, just let your imagination run free. Don't judge anyone, there is no right or wrong.

Write it down! There are so many possibilities out there. Is there any other work that can be done besides these three categories?

Yellow thinking cap – optimism

What are the positive aspects? What are the valuable aspects?

Is there anything particularly appealing?

Black thinking cap-pessimistic

It's about the challenges you mentioned earlier when choosing to become a teacher, the complex interpersonal relationships in state-owned enterprises, etc. Parents can also talk about some of their concerns about your passion for foreign enterprises, the instability... (no one is refuting anyone, just take note).

Now for something really fun! It's time to put on your red thinking cap and let your emotions run free.

Let it all out! Express your emotions, intuition, feelings, and hunches.

Blue thinking cap – calm

And finally, plan and summarize to manage the entire thinking process! See if the current discussion is sufficient?

Let's see if we can make this work! What's the final decision?

We can all agree that it's best not to try to convince each other. The Six Thinking Hats method is a great way to ensure we're all on the same page and make the best, most reasonable decision possible.

For more details on this fascinating method, I highly recommend checking out the book "Six Thinking Hats"!

I really hope my answer is helpful to you!

I just wanted to say, "Congratulations!"

Hello, I'm Meng Xiaoxiao, and I'm excited to help you with your career planning! From your description in the text, I can see that you're feeling a bit confused and helpless, but I'm here to help.

There are many practical reasons that make it difficult for you to choose what you should do. However, in this psychological platform, I cannot tell you which job to choose. After all, we are not career planners. What I would like to do here is discuss with you the issues at the psychological level: what makes it difficult for you to make a decision?

If you could choose any of the options you mentioned in the text and there were no external forces preventing you from doing so, what kind of life would you have in the future? What result are you unwilling to face? Is this unwillingness to face the result the main reason for your indecision?

Keep thinking about these questions!

Your parents' thoughts and wishes also influence your choice. Perhaps you don't want to disappoint your parents, and even less so go against your own heart's desires. From your description of your attitude towards your parents, I feel that you long for their approval. Your parents' opposition and attitude can make you feel uncomfortable and may affect your motivation to move forward. But you can overcome these challenges! You have the power within you to make the choice that is right for you.

In addition, you may lack the strength to take responsibility for your future after making a choice. But you can find the strength within yourself to make you determined!

I'm excited to help you! I can't tell you exactly what to do, but I can give you a direction. I'd love for you to explore your inner self in your free time, understand your true thoughts, and make a choice that tends towards self-realization and makes you satisfied, taking into account the pros and cons of reality.

I really hope my words can inspire you!

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm a pretty modest and humble person, and I try to be the same every day.

I bought my dream home for just $322,323, and in return, I get to enjoy three delicious meals a day on the stove!

We all need to work, whether we love our job or not. There are so many benefits to work! It can solve our most basic problems, like food and clothing, and it can give us a certain degree of material security. Plus, work can make us feel a sense of worth and achievement, and it can give our spiritual world a sense of belonging.

Every job has its own pace and nature, as well as its own assessment methods and characteristics. From a different perspective, there are advantages and disadvantages. As you mentioned in your description, perhaps the teacher is very busy in a state-owned enterprise, or the teacher is very tired and the state-owned enterprise is very complicated.

So when parents give us advice, they're really just trying to give you as much stability and security as possible in these seemingly calm times. And as a teacher, you have summer and winter vacations! For girls, having a stable job like this is really helpful in taking care of the family in the future and in all other aspects.

How to make a choice, my dear friend.

❀People of a certain age tend to think in a certain way. You've just left school and are brimming with ambition and ideas! You also see what you want and don't want from a different perspective. However, these ideas will actually be adjusted as your life situation changes. For this reason, it's important to consider both the short and long term.

In this day and age, there's no longer a one-and-done choice. No matter which job you choose, you've got to be ready to roll with the punches. That's why parents often suggest going with a more stable company. The folks at these places are less likely to shake things up, so you're less likely to get caught in the crossfire.

At the end of the day, every job has its fans and its critics. It doesn't matter if it's a state-owned enterprise, a foreign company, or a public institution. What matters is that you give your all and love what you do. This is what keeps you going when times get tough. And as you go along, you'll find that habits and love can get you through anything.

Hello!

I'm Li Xuan, a counselor.

I'm glad you're confused and that you're sharing it.

I'm confused about my career choice: teacher or state-owned enterprise?

I want to work for a foreign company, but my parents want me to become a teacher. I don't want to give up my ideals.

We want to do what we want, but we don't want to upset our parents.

It's hard! We've studied for more than 20 years, and now we have to choose between our ideals and...

It was hard to choose a major. My parents didn't understand or support my choice.

It's also exhausting to choose a major that doesn't suit you.

Let's say you chose painting as your ideal.

You will be happy. When your career doesn't go well, how will you

Face it?

Can you be a teacher?

Every choice is difficult. The main thing is

Do you have the confidence to overcome it?

Your parents don't understand you and worry about your future.

They want you to choose an easy job, and to live a good life.

No matter what, they want you to be happy. They will support you.

You love learning and have a bright future ahead.

I hope you can get out of this soon!

I'm here to help.

Hello question asker!

The questioner's question shows many conflicts. There's the family situation and the heart's desire.

It's hard to weigh the pros and cons. We can't help the OP make a choice. There is no right choice.

The choice you make should match your abilities and career plan.

Let me briefly analyze the question for the questioner.

1. Know your strengths and weaknesses.

List your strengths, advantages, and disadvantages. Then, based on these, list the industries you can work in or where you have an advantage.

Check if these jobs are in your career plan or if you like them. If there's a job overlap or if the questioner wants to do it, you can pick it out and then make a careful selection.

2. Make a career plan.

If you know what you want to do, you can make a career plan. How can you do your job better?

Once you choose a task, focus on it.

3. See if it fits with your family's work.

You don't have to do everything your family asks. There are many jobs that fit with what your family suggests. If your family wants you to work as a teacher or in a stable job in a state-owned enterprise, can you become a teacher?

The questioner likes to paint. Can he be a teacher in an interest painting class in his spare time?

Can work for a foreign company be connected to a state-owned enterprise? We don't have to follow our family's suggestions, but we can do some of their work. Will this make our family happy and make us feel better about ourselves?

I hope this helps the questioner.

Insight into the mind, let sharing become a habit! I am talking to myself, and it's a great feeling!

A few lines of text and—bam!—you're on your way to choosing a career!

When we finish our studies and are full of ambition and ready to enter the workforce, we feel like we know ourselves particularly well, what we want to do, and what we can do. We even feel like we've rehearsed countless times in our minds the various scenarios that will arise when we enter the workforce and start substantive work. However, when we really start to seek a career for ourselves and face several options, we truly perceive that finding a job you like is not an easy task—and it's an exciting challenge!

1. In the workplace, you can listen to what others have to say, but don't forget to experience it for yourself!

In the workplace, every occupation may be very different for different people. This is great because it means there are so many possibilities out there for you! However, if you only hear an overview of a certain job from others, it is not enough to determine whether the job is really suitable for you.

This is something many newcomers to the workplace often make. It's a common mistake to lose confidence and courage when people who have or are doing this job talk about it before you've really felt and chosen this job yourself. It's like you're guarding a pot of chili fried meat and asking the people around you, "Is the chili spicy?"

Some people say, "The chili is so hot, don't eat it, it's easy to get angry," while others say, "This chili is not spicy at all, it tastes good and helps the body dehumidify." So, what do you think? Do you eat it or not?

You can only know whether something is spicy or not if you try it! The same goes for a job. The same job can give different people different feelings because of their education, family of origin, personality, and other factors—and that's a great thing!

Some people think the job is absolutely amazing, while others think it's pretty good, and some even think that simple tasks are a real trial.

2. In the workplace, personal hobbies and one's work are two sides of the same coin! They can and should go hand-in-hand.

Many people worry that once they choose a job, they'll have no time or energy to pick up their hobbies again. From my personal experience in the workplace, I can say with confidence that this is not true!

Your hobbies don't have to take a backseat to your job. In fact, you can have both! There's no need to give up your hobbies just because you have a job. If you find that you don't have time for your hobbies, it might be because you didn't fully embrace them as a lifelong hobby. Or, it could be that you've simply let them slide.

Some hobbies may be less frequent due to substantial work, but they will not be abandoned because of it. A person's hobbies are like three meals a day. Maybe you won't eat a certain meal because of physical reasons, but it has become a habit. And that's okay!

3. When choosing a job, listen to your parents' advice, but also follow your heart!

It's totally normal for parents to give their kids some pretty specific advice on career choices. After all, parents have a lot of experience and knowledge that their kids might not have yet. So, it's only natural that their views on certain matters will differ greatly from those of their children.

Wise parents will give their opinions on their children's career choices, but ultimately will not interfere too much. Why? Because they know very well that when children grow up, they should choose a path for themselves that is suitable for their future. Even if this path may be wrong, it is something that the child should face on their journey to adulthood.

For yourself, choosing a job that follows your true inner will is the best decision you can make! It's far more meaningful than choosing a job against your will to please others (including your parents). Although a job will not last a lifetime, your inner approval will have a significant impact on many things after you start working.

After all, who wants to do something they don't like?

And now for the final word!

It's time to choose a job!

Keep your cool and stay aware!

You can learn so much about a situation just by getting to know it through various channels!

But don't let other people's opinions stop you from pursuing a job you're excited about!

You've got to experience each job for yourself to know if it's right for you!

It's time for a good heart-to-heart talk with your parents!

Tell them your thoughts!

I absolutely believe that my parents will ultimately support me!

I really hope that in the journey ahead, with your own efforts, you will be able to live out the truest version of yourself!

Come on! You can do it!

Good day, host. I hope my response proves useful to you.

After reading the original poster's description, I reflected on my own experiences at a similar age. I was also facing various choices but felt uncertain. I sought advice from numerous individuals but received different responses, further complicating my decision-making process. However, through this confusion, I persisted in exploring my options until I encountered psychology at age 30. This led me to understand that I could only be the master of my own life. Throughout our lives, we strive to escape the expectations of others and become our true selves.

I was suddenly aware of a new perspective and found my own direction. Despite external influences, including those of my parents and close friends, I was confident in my decision and felt at ease. I have been on this chosen path for almost five years. My life is now filled with happiness and fulfilment. My family has moved beyond their previous concerns and now offers me support, encouragement and admiration. They may have also desired to pursue their interests, but they did not. I did, and now they approve and admire my decision.

I hope that sharing a little of my experience will provide inspiration.

My parents, teachers, classmates, and friends all encouraged me to pursue a career in teaching. I initially believed that this was my ideal profession. I obtained a Bachelor's degree in bioengineering and a Master's degree in microbiology, with the goal of completing a doctorate and becoming a university professor.

Upon graduating with a master's degree, I discovered that I had passed the preliminary exam for the doctoral program. I also learned that I was pregnant. As an engineering major, I was required to conduct numerous experiments during the doctoral program. Consequently, my supervisor advised me to select one of two options.

I ultimately decided to prioritize my child's needs and pursue other avenues for advancing my career.

Naturally, if pursuing further education is your preference, that is an acceptable option as well. At that juncture, I was confronted with a decision: Should I persist in applying for a doctoral program, committing to four additional years on campus while my child was in the care of his grandparents?

Or, alternatively, I could have chosen to withdraw from the doctoral program, spend more time with my child, and explore alternative options.

At the time, I was firmly committed to pursuing my doctoral studies. Each year, I prepared for the preliminary exam and arrived at Zhejiang University on time to take the exam, familiarize myself with the questions, and maintain my exam rhythm. However, there is a stark contrast between ideals and reality. While my child grew up with each passing day, he could not be left without the care and attention he needed.

My husband is extremely busy at work, and I am responsible for the children's care and supervision almost exclusively. If I were to pursue graduate studies, it would necessitate the children's return to their grandparents' care. However, is this the optimal choice for me?

At that time, I had already begun studying psychology and had also obtained a second-level certificate as a psychological counselor. In the process of taking the exam, I also had a lot of thoughts about life. After asking myself repeatedly, I knew that my ideal life was not doing scientific research and experiments every day. Instead, it was being able to read, study, and write every day. Then I went for my doctorate, but that did not allow me to live my ideal life. I had to question why I was pursuing such a result.

Upon reflection, I realized that my ideal life involved being with my family while continuing to learn and grow. I did not feel compelled to limit myself to obtaining a doctorate and becoming a university teacher. When I explored opportunities in this field, I discovered a strong passion for psychological work, which also satisfied my desire to provide for my family while pursuing continued learning and growth.

I disseminate psychological knowledge through various channels, including written works, micro-courses, and psychological science courses, with the aim of helping more people solve problems in their lives through psychology. I have found that when I follow my heart and do what I love, I am happy and blessed every day. I am able to take care of myself well and feel good about the world and the people around me.

Had I not pursued my doctoral studies and left my child with my in-laws, I might have become a university professor of biology. However, I would have been required to engage in scientific research that I found uninteresting on a daily basis. Furthermore, I would have felt a significant sense of obligation to my family and child for avoiding the experiments I found disagreeable. I believe that my mental state would not have been optimal.

Ultimately, only we ourselves know ourselves best. Whether it is the expectations of our parents or other important people, they are more or less mixed with their own needs, which is a problem they themselves need to solve. As for us, we need to take full responsibility for our lives, make the choices we want to make, and more importantly, bear all the consequences of our choices. This is the beginning of independence.

Lin Zi also shared another case:

The father of one of her male visitors invested significant effort in establishing a thriving family business during his early years. As his father advanced in age, the matter of business succession emerged, prompting him to become embroiled in a power struggle with his brothers.

Those around him believed that, as the eldest son, he should do everything in his power to gain control of the company and avoid failure at the critical moment.

He initially believed that he could satisfy the expectations of his father and brothers by demonstrating his abilities. However, his attempts to do so resulted in a series of unfortunate events. His repeated mistakes led to disappointment and anger from his father.

Teacher Lin Zi inquired about his feelings regarding his father's disappointment. He responded, "I experience a conflicted emotional state. On the one hand, I feel ashamed, but on the other hand, I feel relieved. However, this relief is accompanied by feelings of self-reproach."

"I even feel like I'm deliberately creating difficulties."

The teacher inquired again, "Is there any benefit to making mistakes?" He considered for a moment and replied, "It provides temporary relief. I have no desire to exert control over any further circumstances."

The teacher inquired again, "So what is your objective?" He considered for a moment and stated, "I desire a more straightforward lifestyle, one that does not entail continuous employment like my father's."

"I would prefer to allocate my time to reading books and listening to music on a daily basis, rather than engaging in a multitude of social obligations."

The teacher inquired whether there was a discrepancy between the individual's own desires and those of those around him. The individual nodded in agreement and replied in the affirmative.

From their perspective, success and gaining control were the keys to achieving a positive reputation. I initially agreed with this assessment and proceeded with a high level of determination, only to find myself experiencing significant anxiety as a result.

In the subsequent sessions, the participants engaged in the same exercise: listening to their inner voice. The subject then straightened his back, exhaled deeply, performed two powerful chest-expanding exercises, and stated in a relaxed but firm voice, "I have decided to accept the loss of face, power, and wealth, and follow my heart. If I don't, I will lose even more important things and never be happy for the rest of my life!"

This visitor became more prudent by heeding his inner voice, which led to a reduction in anxiety. You can also apply this approach to your own decision-making process by asking yourself: if it were you, what would your heart choose?

By listening to his inner voice, the client demonstrated an increase in wisdom, which in turn led to a reduction in anxiety. You can also apply this approach to your own decision-making process by asking yourself: if it were you, what would your heart choose?

Your level of wisdom can be gauged by the strength of your ability to find happiness within yourself. On a scale of 0 to 10, how would you rate your wisdom?

Teacher Lin Zi stated, "Over two decades of experience in psychological counseling has led me to an important insight: the reason a person is anxious is because they cannot be with themselves."

Ultimately, your parents' advice is rooted in their desire for your happiness. If you pursue a role that does not align with your interests and experience daily discontent, it is unlikely that your parents will be pleased. However, if you are able to find fulfilment in your work, you will likely experience a sense of contentment and well-being, which will positively impact your overall happiness and self-care.

Please refer to the above for further details. Kind regards,