light mode dark mode

Should I choose the person who loves me more, or the one I love more?

relationship struggle emotional turmoil conflicting feelings love dilemma long-term commitment
readership2633 favorite52 forward32
Should I choose the person who loves me more, or the one I love more? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

I've been with a man who treats me well and spoils me for a year. He's very honest, but not very articulate with words, and that makes me angry. After a year, I met a man who was going through a divorce, and I fell in love with him. He also cares for me a lot, but he's different from the man I met a year ago. One was a spoiling love, and now I'm very troubled. I'm sad every time he comes home, and I'm also sad every time I text with his wife. He has two daughters. Sometimes he says we are both too strong in character and not suitable for marriage, and sometimes when I ask him, he says he will definitely marry me. He's 10 years older than me, and I don't mind, but I'm very sad every time he talks to his wife. Should I choose the one who loves me more or the one I love more?

Ian Ian A total of 121 people have been helped

Hello, question asker.

You're straightforward and strong-willed, but sometimes impatient.

You love two men.

You've known him for a year and love him, but get angry at his blunt honesty. He's honest and good to you.

You've known the other man for a short time but love him. He's divorced, 10 years older, and has two daughters with his wife. He loves you but says you're not suited for marriage. Sometimes he says he'll marry you.

A few words can tell you a lot.

1. "He says we're not suited to marriage because we have strong personalities." He thinks two strong personalities aren't compatible. He believes a more ideal model is complementary personalities, with one being strong and the other gentle.

2. You want sweet, intense love, but think marriage is a home and a romantic relationship without marriage is insecure. You should want a stable marriage.

3. You are not always happy with him. He sees your sad mood, but he does not change his behavior. He has his own convictions and beliefs.

Should I choose someone who loves me more, or someone I love more?

Ask yourself: would you be happier marrying someone who loves you more, or someone you love more?

You can choose whatever you want. I'll respect your choice.

If someone you love is deeply hurt, they will withdraw. If you care about someone's love for you, show them respect.

I hope my answer helped. Best regards!

Helpful to meHelpful to me 896
disapprovedisapprove0

Comments

avatar
Giles Anderson Knowledge from different fields is like different musical instruments, and a learned person knows how to play a harmonious symphony.

I can understand how torn you must be feeling. It's hard when you have two people in your life who care for you, but in very different ways. The first man has shown you a lot of affection and honesty, even if he struggles to express himself fully. Meanwhile, the second man, despite his complicated situation, has made you feel something deeply as well. It's important to consider what you truly want from a relationship. Do you value stability and clear communication, or are you willing to navigate the challenges that come with a more complex scenario?

avatar
Serena Daisy Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

It sounds like you're in a really tough spot, emotionally. On one hand, you've had this wonderful experience with someone who has treated you incredibly well and loved you unconditionally. That kind of love is rare and precious. On the other hand, you've developed feelings for someone who is going through a difficult time, and it seems like there's an emotional connection that's hard to ignore. But it's also clear that this situation is causing you a lot of pain. Maybe it's time to think about what's best for you in the long run. What do you need to be happy and at peace?

avatar
Ian Anderson The more you value time, the less you waste it.

This must be incredibly painful for you. You've been in a loving relationship where you were cherished, and now you're involved with someone who is still entangled in another commitment. It's natural to feel conflicted and sad. Perhaps it's worth considering whether staying in this current situation is truly fulfilling for you. Are you able to see a future where you're not constantly hurting? Sometimes, the person we love isn't necessarily the one who brings us the most joy or peace.

avatar
Connor Anderson Growth is a journey of learning to see the lessons hidden in every disappointment.

You're facing a really difficult decision, and I can see why you're so troubled. The first man has given you a year of happiness and security, while the second man has stirred up intense emotions within you. But it's important to remember that love isn't just about passion; it's also about respect, trust, and commitment. How does each of these men make you feel about yourself? Which relationship allows you to be your best self? In the end, you have to choose what's right for you, even if it means letting go of something that feels impossible to give up.

avatar
Christina Anderson Time is a ribbon that ties our past to our future.

It's understandable that you're feeling so much sadness and confusion. Being in love with someone who is still married can be incredibly challenging. While the intensity of your feelings for him might be strong, it's important to consider the impact this situation is having on you. Is this relationship bringing you closer to the kind of life you want, or is it pulling you further away? Ultimately, you deserve to be with someone who can give you their whole heart, without any strings attached. Think about what will make you truly happy in the long term.

More from Soul Share Cove

This feature is under maintenance and update.
Close