Since the birth of our daughter, can we argue over the smallest things?

Hello, I can see you're feeling confused, and I'm here to support you.

It seems like you're having some marital issues. I'm here to give you a warm hug if you need it.

So, now that your daughter has been born, who is looking after the baby?

Who will be helping you with this?

It's tough raising a child on your own.

I think you should talk to your husband about hiring a babysitter for the two of you. That would give you some breathing room.

You could also ask your husband to ask his parents, your in-laws, if they're retired now, if they can come over during the day to help you with your daughter.

Then, you can go out every day at the same time to let off some steam; get away from your daughter's noisy environment for a few hours and give yourself some peace and quiet.

You could also use those few hours to catch up with your friends, go to the movies, or have afternoon tea.

When you get back home and see your daughter, you'll be in a better mood.

I really hope we can resolve the issue you're facing soon.

I'm afraid that's all I can think of for now.

I hope my answers are helpful and inspiring to you, young lady. I'm the respondent, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! Best wishes!

Dear Questioner,

From your description, it is evident that your poor relationship with your partner has caused you significant distress. I also perceive your inner disappointment, dissatisfaction, anger, pain, and a sense of being overwhelmed.

Prior to the birth of our daughter, our relationship was characterized by a high level of compatibility and mutual understanding. However, since her arrival, we have observed a notable shift in our interactions, with frequent disagreements emerging over seemingly minor issues.

The advent of a child often precipitates significant changes in the dynamics of a marriage. Despite the preexisting affection and love between partners, the arrival of a child can give rise to a multitude of conflicts. These may pertain to matters such as childrearing, infant care, childcare arrangements, and the division of household responsibilities. In sum, there is a vast array of potential points of contention. It is, therefore, not uncommon for couples to experience disagreements, and it is crucial to address them promptly and effectively.

Furthermore, I am becoming increasingly irritable, and I feel that life lacks purpose.

The role of motherhood encompasses the responsibilities of child-rearing and education, in addition to the demands of extensive domestic tasks. This can result in hormonal imbalances and fluctuations in mood. At times, one may exhibit heightened anxiety and impatience, which may not be fully comprehended by one's spouse. In such instances, it is essential to cultivate self-awareness and practice techniques for calming oneself amidst emotional distress.

Your husband also exhibits a particularly disagreeable personality. Neither of you is willing to concede to the other.

I now perceive myself to be mentally unwell. I previously exhibited a cheerful disposition, but I have been experiencing prolonged periods of unhappiness. At times, I even feel as though I am bearing an overwhelming burden, to the extent that I am unable to breathe.

(When requesting that the other person demonstrate good temperament, exhibit a commendable personality, treat you with kindness, interact kindly with their children, treat their parents with respect, excel in all endeavors, and also be attentive and patient... at the same time, aren't you also neglecting the fact that you actually have a bad temper too, and that in certain actions and words, you can also cause harm to the other person?)

I frequently experience a loss of control over my emotions, which manifests as disciplinary actions directed towards my daughter. I subsequently experience regret for these actions.

It is imperative not to be excessively self-critical. This is not your fault. You are only 27 years old and have become a mother without any experience. It is essential to allow yourself time to adjust gradually. It is normal to experience occasional emotional volatility. It is crucial not to place undue pressure on yourself.

It is my hope that the following suggestions will prove beneficial to you.

It is my hope that the following suggestions will prove beneficial to you.

1. Empathy and mutual understanding

It is advisable to adopt the perspective of the other person and consider the pressures they are likely to be experiencing. For instance, they may be caring for elderly parents and young children, while also facing the demands of their professional lives and interactions with superiors and colleagues. These factors may contribute to a sense of pressure that is not immediately apparent.

2. It is essential to enhance communication between the two parties.

(For example, the question of how to educate children: there may be discrepancies between one's own views and those of one's partner, which can lead to differences in perception. These differences in perception can, in turn, give rise to differences in behaviour, which can then result in conflict. If one is able to communicate in a timely manner in order to resolve the issue and reach a consensus, then one can avoid conflicts in the future when dealing with similar issues. It is important to develop the habit of communicating in a timely manner.)

3. The husband-wife relationship must be of greater significance than the parent-child relationship.

Although children are born from one's bloodline, there is no inherent problem with focusing on them. However, as they mature into adulthood, they will inevitably embark on their own lives and form their own families. It is therefore imperative that couples prioritize their relationship, as they will spend the majority of their lives together. Engaging in leisure activities such as watching movies or shopping can foster intimacy and strengthen the bond between partners. It is also beneficial to seek assistance from parents when needed to ensure a balanced division of responsibilities within the family.

4. Self-care

Self-care can be defined as the capacity to recognize that one is experiencing a distressing or painful situation, to perceive the associated emotions, and to provide oneself with sufficient love and kindness in order to cope with the experience. This process can occur on a spiritual, emotional, or physical level. When individuals possess this capacity, they are better able to accept painful experiences in a more composed manner. Furthermore, engaging in self-care can lead to an immediate improvement in one's emotional state. Over time, this can result in a gradual accumulation of inner security and strength.

When one is able to care for oneself and extend understanding to oneself, one will naturally emerge from the state of being blind.

It is my hope that the advice provided here is of some assistance to you.

Ultimately, it is my sincere hope that the original poster will experience a profound sense of happiness and joy.

Hello, host!

I can see the current owner is feeling helpless and powerless. Let me give you a hug and help you relax. All the trivial matters in your marriage are making you too nervous.

It's like someone who has fallen into the water. The more they struggle, the more they sink. There's no way out of this feeling of not being able to grab a single straw.

To get out of this state of mind, the host must calm down, identify the root cause, and then prescribe the appropriate solution.

Let's examine the current issues the homeowner is facing:

Childbirth is physically and mentally exhausting, and it can lead to postpartum depression.

Childbirth has a significant impact on women's bodies and minds. It is crucial to receive careful physical and mental care after giving birth to avoid depression, including postpartum depression. When you feel down, withdraw, calm yourself, and stop internal conflict.

The family composition has changed from a world of two to a world of three.

You will have to adapt to the change from a world of two to a world of three.

The man's patience is wearing thin.

Men's emotions are simple. They are visual creatures who are easily influenced by what is happening in front of them and lack empathy.

I want to know what kind of life the hostess is longing for.

My husband will understand and be considerate, and he won't yell at me.

I will not let my child cry and upset me, and I will not lose my temper.

I am a kind mother with a stable temperament and no temper tantrums.

Is that true? If so, there's no question who is the easiest to change.

You need to decide whether you should change your husband, your children, or yourself.

The husband is already an adult, and even his mother couldn't change him. Don't expect it.

A child's emotions in the early years are undoubtedly influenced by their mother's emotions.

A happy, stable mother will make a happy, joyful child. It's that simple!

I'd like to know who influences a mother's emotions.

The hostess is probably thinking that her husband should give her meticulous love and care.

This is not unreasonable. But apart from your husband, there is someone else who can calm your mind.

That is the landlord yourself. I said it once, and I'll say it again: it is you.

The host stated emphatically that his temper has also become short-tempered and difficult to control.

Everyone has a temper. It's how you manage it that matters.

We must find a solution.

Anger can also be infectious like the plague. When one person is angry, it is inevitable that the other person will become enraged.

The host makes a hideous face in the mirror, and the same face will appear in yours.

If you don't want the other person to lose their temper with you, you need to change yourself first.

When the other person is angry, you can choose not to respond right away. A slap doesn't make a sound, so let the other person vent first. When the other person feels tired, they will naturally stop.

The host should respond calmly to the other person's dissatisfaction and then express their own thoughts in a calm and assertive manner to communicate effectively.

Anger only causes more harm and doesn't solve problems.

The emotions conveyed to the other person are often more important than the content of the words.

Take a step back from the situation and view yourself from the perspective of an outsider.

When you find yourself about to lose your temper, you must immediately become aware of it. You are unhappy and you need to calm down.

Tell yourself from the perspective of someone else to stay calm.

Don't tell yourself, "I'm hot-tempered and I can't control it." That's not true. Your inner thoughts will come true if you let them.

I must give myself positive suggestions and calm down to think about it. I regret hitting my child every time I do it!

These are my personal views, and I am confident they will help the original poster!

I am June, and I love you, world!

Hello. I can see that you have been stressed since your daughter was born. You are angry and sad, and feel helpless. You are under a lot of pressure, and as a mother, I understand you.

You have two problems. First, you feel overwhelmed by life. You were alone with your daughter after she was born, and you never had a chance to relax. You feel trapped and unhappy. Second, you feel repressed.

The family is for three people. You and your husband are both needed, and your daughter needs you both.

I don't know if you work or if you are a full-time mom. Even if you are a full-time mom, you are still tired. Your husband works outside the home and he is also tired and unhappy, so when he comes home, he doesn't see how hard you work. I suggest that you negotiate your family responsibilities and divide the work well. When your husband comes home from work, what does he do and what do you do? Divide the work well. If you share some of your burden with your husband, you won't be so tired.

The second problem is that your marriage is in trouble. The relationship between husband and wife is the core of all family relationships.

Prioritize your relationship with your partner.

You and your husband are both stressed. You feel like you can't catch your breath at home, and your husband is also tired from work. After work, you're both in a bad mood. You want the other person to care about and understand you, but you can't. This leads to fighting, which worsens your relationship. A bad relationship affects your mood. It makes it hard for you to sleep and to control your emotions. This makes you angry with your daughter. You feel very remorseful because you can't control your emotions.

A bad relationship between you and your partner hurts your child and makes your family unhappy.

It's important to have a good relationship with your spouse. If you do, you'll feel better, be nicer to your daughter, have a better relationship with her, feel less stressed, sleep better, and your life will improve.

How do you improve your intimate relationship? It takes time to learn. Two medical doctors wrote a book called "Knowing Love." It teaches how to establish and maintain an intimate relationship. You must learn this.

If you can't grow through reading, find a counselor to help your family. They can help you analyze problems, manage emotions, communicate better, and be more tolerant and understanding. This will make your relationship better more quickly.

I hope you treat yourself better, love yourself more, don't put too much pressure on yourself, and do the things you like to do. The future will be better, and you have the strength to change. Have confidence and good luck.

Dear, I know you really want to cry right now. I'm here with you. I'll hold your hand, cry with you, and listen to you.

As the saying goes, it is easy to fall in love but difficult to stay together. The words of our ancestors are all true. Marriage requires hard work.

When you were in love, you were in a romantic relationship, and your life was full of little sentiments. At that time, your perception of your husband and his perception of you should both have had more pros than cons. Otherwise, you two wouldn't have gotten married.

You got together because of love. You formed a family. You had a lovely daughter. You planned to spend the rest of your lives together hand in hand.

Everything changed after the birth of your daughter.

From your words, I could tell you were carrying too much pressure.

These pressures include the pressure of raising a child alone.

The pressure of the cost of living is a significant factor.

The pressure of the future being uncertain.

You are experiencing panic at the sudden disorder in your life.

And so on.

The pain of losing all those happy single times is something you have to get over.

You are a full-time mother, and you know it. You say that no one can take care of the child, and you're right. Raising a child alone is a great and hard job. It's no less than managing a business. You can't eat well or sleep well, and you don't have your own time. You grab a bite of food when the child is asleep during the day, then you do the laundry, cook, and tidy up the room. You don't sleep soundly at night because you have to get up from time to time to check on the child's sleep. When the child is awake, you're even more tired because you have to play with her and talk to her. You're always thinking about parenting.

You must be feeling particularly worn out right now. Tell your husband how hard you are working.

Tell your husband you need his help. Ask him to help you when he gets home from work.

We know that going to work is not easy. Your husband's work is likely very busy and stressful.

He should talk to you about his work. How did you react when he talked to you about his work?

Show him at least superficial understanding.

Two people forming a family essentially form a cooperative. This cooperative will function properly when both parties understand, compromise, and help each other.

It's a simple fact that whoever suffers changes. You've spoiled your husband since having children.

You're still a young girl at 27. You're in your prime, young lady!

You are a smart girl, and you will find smart ways to relieve stress and bring laughter back into the home. When your husband comes home, discuss work-related issues with him and show him you understand how hard his job is. Don't forget to complain about how hard it is to raise children, such as not having time to eat or rest, and how you need his company and strong shoulders. Know how to show weakness, and you will have a very useful magic weapon.

My dear, life is an art, full of color. The world is so big, and you should see it all.

Take control of your mood. If you can find some free time, read the book The Five Languages of Love. Your husband should read it too. It's not a thick book, but it's very helpful for running a marriage.

I will help you, and I wish you happiness.

The world and I love you.