Sister and her current brother-in-law are in a second marriage. She wants to end it, but doesn't want to give up the child?

Hello, dear question asker!

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister and her husband. It's really tough when marriages don't work out, especially when you have kids together. It sounds like they didn't know each other well before they got married, and now they're having a lot of conflicts. Unfortunately, your sister has been a victim of domestic violence three times. She wants a divorce but doesn't want to give up her child. I really hope they can work things out.

It's really not easy, is it?

As people who have been through it, we don't know whether to advise them to reconcile or to separate. After all, we can't experience the ups and downs of this marriage. Although there is a saying that "the bystander is clear-sighted," we are now completely out of the loop.

At the time, your sister and your brother-in-law had gone through a tough time in their marriage. They only tied the knot after being introduced by a third party. For more than a year after their wedding, they were really happy together.

This shows that they thought long and hard about their marriage and are doing their best to make it work.

Your sister basically never did any farm work as a child. She was quite pretty, so after having children, she stayed at home to take care of the household and the children, becoming a full-time mother. Your brother-in-law was completely responsible for earning a living outside the home. "After a long time, a gap formed in their hearts."

You've shared so much helpful information here!

It doesn't matter if your brother-in-law works away from home or works on the farm and is around your sister all day.

2. I'd love to know who controls the finances of your sister's family. Do you think this could be connected to your sister-in-law's behaviour?

3. I'd love to know more about what led to the domestic violence between your sister and her husband, and what caused the conflict in the first place.

I think it would be really helpful for you and your sister to think about the above three points together.

The home belongs to both of you, and it's so important to remember that. Even though your sister has never done any farm work since she was a child, there are still plenty of ways she can contribute. If she can't do the heavy work, she can do the light work. She only takes care of a daughter at home and does the housework, but that's okay!

Then your brother-in-law comes home after a long day of work/farming, and Ge You is just lying there waiting for dinner to be served, bless her heart, not doing any housework.

They'll both blame the other from their own perspective, feeling like the other doesn't understand their hardship or help out enough. They both think that the hardest person is themselves, and haven't yet put themselves in the other person's shoes to think, "Everyone is having a hard time."

It's so important to have each other's understanding and care, as well as love.

Your sister has been so strong for so long, and she has also spent more than a year of what could be considered happiness. It's clear that your brother-in-law still has many good qualities that your sister appreciates. Many misunderstandings are due to a lack of communication and self-expression. Let your sister and brother-in-law communicate well first to see if there is a better solution.

Your sister is really lucky to have you as a relative! I wish you all the best!

It is my intention to offer some words of solace and encouragement to my sister, who has been subjected to domestic violence, and to you, who are concerned.

Firstly, both your sister and her husband are in their second marriages, and they have both previously experienced the breakdown of romantic relationships and the dissolution of their marriages. It would be reasonable to assume that they have learned valuable lessons from these experiences. It is already challenging for the two of them to maintain a relationship.

However, it is important to recognize that both parties may have shortcomings and deficiencies in their approach to marriage and love. For instance, your brother-in-law may have exhibited tendencies and behaviors that could be perceived as domestic violence with his previous wife, but these were not identified or understood before.

It is therefore recommended that communication with your sister should be conducted in an appropriate manner, with a view to achieving a calm and objective analysis of the situation and the formulation of a plan for the next stage of action.

Secondly, to what extent does your sister believe that domestic violence has ceased? Is there any possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation? This is a more complex issue.

First, it is essential for both parties to communicate and resolve conflicts surrounding the traditional gender roles of the man as the breadwinner and the woman as the homemaker. Subsequently, it is vital for them to refrain from further domestic violence in order to maintain open communication. Otherwise, the situation is likely to deteriorate further.

Third, those residing in rural areas are likely to experience concern regarding the opinions of their family members and friends. Given that this is a second marriage, the individual in question may perceive it as an inconvenience, leading them to attempt to make the best of the situation. However, this is a flawed rationale that can potentially condone and encourage domestic violence. If such violence persists, it can impede the growth and development of family members and children. It is, therefore, advisable to seek a resolution as soon as possible.

It is therefore recommended that the first step should be to communicate whether domestic violence can be eliminated and, if so, to attempt to repair the relationship. Should domestic violence persist, it is advised that evidence should be retained, that the local women's federation or even the police station should be contacted in order to obtain evidence, and that the divorce process should be initiated in order to effect a definitive break.

It is my hope that the aforementioned advice and assistance will prove beneficial to you.