Sixteen years old, from freshman to sophomore, I have a million doubts about love. Am I right?

Dear boy, After reading your words, I have formed the impression that you are a young man with a strong sense of responsibility and a delicate mind. You have met a young woman whose seriousness, openness, warmth, and attractiveness you find appealing. You have added her to your WeChat account and are interested in developing a romantic relationship with her.

Nevertheless, you will engage in a considerable amount of reflection.

Do you believe there is an affinity between you and this individual?

The question thus arises as to whether dating is appropriate during one's high school years.

One might be forgiven for questioning whether these feelings are merely the result of insecurity.

What is the motivation behind the desire for appreciation and approval?

...

Ultimately, you indicated that you had ceased pursuing the matter further.

It is evident that you are accountable for your own actions, academic pursuits, cognitive processes, and emotional responses. Furthermore, it is apparent that you are responsible for her well-being. Instead of acting on impulse, you demonstrate a capacity for self-control and a commitment to responsibility, which are commendable traits in a young adolescent.

Nevertheless, you remain uncertain as to the merits of your actions and appear somewhat apprehensive in the wake of your decision to cease pursuing this course of action. Is this an accurate assessment?

In addition, I observed that you stated

The assertion that "girls are dangerous" is a common one.

It appears that you have a preconceived notion about girls. You perceive them as dangerous. The source of this perception is unclear, but regardless of the reason, it is advisable to relax. Should you encounter a girl in the future who captures your attention, it would be prudent to follow your heart and pursue a relationship with her. It is important to be courageous and not let fear of danger deter you.

Ultimately, it is recommended that you simply allow the situation to unfold naturally. If you are genuinely appreciative of this individual, it would be advisable to maintain this positive regard. However, should you find yourself preoccupied with thoughts of this person, it is possible that your feelings for them may intensify. It is important to allow time for these feelings to develop naturally.

[The world and I love you. I am Zhang Luxia, a listener. I hope I have been of some assistance.]

Hello, question asker!

From your description, it's clear that she's an amazing person—so good, lively, and well-balanced!

You've been classmates for a year, and this is the opposite sex you've spent the most time with, and the opposite sex you know the best. Previously, you thought, "Girls are dangerous," but as you spent time with her, you slowly discovered her bright spots and grew to appreciate her more and more. She was an important part of your changing mindset—and she was great!

So in many ways, and even in your entire contact with the opposite sex, she is special. But what kind of special is it? Is it the special of this position or the special of her?

From your description, it's clear that you didn't have the idea of falling in love with her during the time you were classmates. It was only after you knew that you would be separated or had already been separated that this idea took hold. It seems to me that this is more about the reluctance to part with a friend and the discomfort of the sudden separation, which makes you always think of her. This is a wonderful thing! It shows that you value her friendship and that you're aware of her good points.

I absolutely believe that if you really like someone, it's not enough to just grow attached over time. Those little things that touch you are scattered throughout every encounter you have!

I'm more inclined to think that you're relying on her, which is great!

I absolutely agree with your views on love! It's such a serious matter that involves two people, and you have to be responsible for both of them. So you really don't need to be so obsessed!

You are absolutely right to say that you shouldn't fall in love before university! A serious relationship is very time-consuming and requires a lot of energy from both sides, which naturally reduces the energy allocated to studying. And at the age of 17 or 18, you don't know what responsibility is and how to take responsibility – but you will soon!

I really hope this helps! I'm sure you'll be able to make a choice and gain something from it.

Hello, I'm Win & Bing. From your question, I can tell that you are a very responsible person.

Indeed, love encompasses more than just passion; it also involves a great deal of responsibility.

[Problem analysis]

From what you've shared in the title, it seems you have a positive impression of your classmate, but you're not quite sure if you're ready to pursue a romantic relationship or if there are other factors at play. It's also understandable if you're uncertain about why you're feeling this way.

[Reason analysis]

1. At the age of 16, we begin to experience a shift in emotions, influenced by the onset of puberty and the subsequent release of hormones. This can lead to a heightened awareness of the opposite sex, particularly if the individual in question is perceived as attractive. It's not uncommon for this initial attraction to manifest as a sense of admiration or even friendship. However, it's important to recognize that these feelings may not necessarily indicate the onset of romantic love.

2. The three elements of love include passion, responsibility, and exclusivity. One way to confirm whether it is love is to look for exclusivity, which might manifest as a desire for more privacy and less contact with others, particularly with the opposite sex.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether he might be jealous.

[Summary]

Overall, I believe your approach is quite sound. First and foremost, it would be beneficial to ascertain whether your feelings are indeed love or something else.

1. You might consider reaching out to other girls to gain a better understanding of your feelings. It's perfectly normal to experience uncertainty during adolescence. Interacting with different people of the opposite sex can be beneficial for our interpersonal relationships and personal growth.

2. It is not always the case that appreciation equates to a desire to pursue a relationship. It is perfectly normal to want to get close to something you appreciate. You might find it helpful to be friends with this classmate, without pursuing a romantic relationship, to clarify your feelings. It is possible that she is the kind of girl you appreciate more.

I hope my answer is helpful to you in some way.

Hello, classmate!

After reading your text, I can tell that you are a thoughtful child. The content is clear, as is your analysis of yourself. It's normal to have doubts about such a question at your age.

First, I got to know my female classmate, who sat next to me for a semester after class. I like her serious attitude towards work, her cheerful and sunny personality, and the contrast between her being a soft girl and trying to act like a manly Neptune.

From what you've told me, I can see that you appreciate girls who are positive and sunny, which suggests that your own values are relatively positive. It's also normal for you to have a crush on the opposite sex during puberty.

You said she's lively but usually very measured and studies hard, and this statement confirms that.

Next, I added her WeChat and really wanted to chat with her. I even started to think about dating her. It's true that beautiful people and things are always desirable, and attraction is the basis of liking. When one day the qualities of a certain person catch our attention and touch our hearts, we will consciously pay attention to that person, and that is liking.

Then you say, "I've had very little contact with girls before, so I'll stick to my 'girls are dangerous' policy."

I was reminded of a lyric I once heard: "The woman at the foot of the mountain is a tiger, you have to hide if you meet her!" I'm not sure why you have such a concept. It might be a joke that someone told you, or it could be a lie that someone told you to make you study harder.

At this age, the focus is on learning, and appreciation of the opposite sex is still at the liking stage. There's nothing wrong with mutual appreciation among classmates, and it may also help to promote academic achievement. I recommend the book A Boy's Guide to Growing Up for you, as it may have the answers you're looking for.

1. About the individual in question

1. You are a man of strong opinions. Your assertion that you will not become involved in a romantic relationship while you are at university, and your subsequent mention of giving up, demonstrates that you are aware that during your tenure at the high school, your studies were of paramount importance to you, and you are fully cognizant of your objectives.

I offer my support in this matter.

2. Additionally, you are a highly responsible individual. Upon developing the notion of romantic attachment, you did not hastily act upon it. Instead, you conducted research and engaged in introspective reflection regarding your thoughts and feelings. You did not merely pursue this relationship out of a desire to find a conversational partner or someone to rely on.

This demonstrates your capacity for self-responsibility, as well as your commitment to the well-being of the other individual involved. I continue to offer my support in this regard.

Despite his youth, he displays a maturity and responsibility that belies his 16 years of age.

3. From your behavior, I also deeply feel that you are a very sentimental person. You do not wish to commence a relationship hastily, nor do you wish to toy with your emotions.

Your perspective on relationships is one that deems them as sacred and pure. The relationships you seek are often the result of genuine affinity, rather than transient impulses or a mere pursuit of leisure.

I continue to offer my support on this matter. Those who approach relationships with sincerity and commitment deserve respect.

4. For females, the "keep away policy" may be attributed to the fact that there is minimal contact with females and a concomitant sense of insecurity. (1) It is typical to experience a modicum of trepidation and intimidation in the presence of the unfamiliar or subjects with which one is not well-versed.

It is likely that you are unfamiliar with the term "social phobia." Given the dearth of contact you have had with girls, it is probable that you suffer from social phobia towards girls.

(2) It can be reasonably assumed that the family backgrounds and upbringings of the individuals in question may have a significant impact on their sense of security.

For example, during our formative years, if we lacked sufficient security from our mothers, it was not uncommon for us to internalize the notion that "many people in this world are insecure, untrustworthy, and dangerous," particularly in regard to women.

For example, during our formative years, we may have received input about "women being dangerous." This could have been conveyed to us directly or indirectly through books, movies, or television shows. Such exposure can influence our social interactions as we mature.

It can be reasonably inferred that the sense of security previously mentioned is a contributing factor to the "stay away policy."

2. Description of the individual in question

She is notably cheerful, with a distinctive contrast of cuteness, speaks in measured tones, and demonstrates a strong work ethic. From this description, it can be seen that she is a commendable individual, and at the same time, it also evinces your profound respect and appreciation for her.

It is a common phenomenon that when we respect and admire someone, it becomes easier to develop feelings for them. Furthermore, the current age of the subject is a period when physical and psychological changes occur, which may result in the subject developing romantic feelings towards another individual. This is a natural occurrence during the course of human development.

3. The optimal aspect of your relationship with her

The most beneficial aspect of the relationship is the mutual affection between the two parties. However, it is difficult to ascertain her opinion of you based on your verbal communication alone.

Additionally, your assertion that she is a diligent student indicates that she is highly motivated and places significant value on academic achievement, with the aspiration of gaining admission to a reputable institution of higher learning. Individuals of this caliber not only hold themselves to rigorous standards but also seek partners who embody similar qualities, particularly academic excellence.

If you have ascertained that you hold a genuine affection for her and aspire to a future with her during your studies, you may wish to consider transforming this sentiment into a source of motivation to maintain your academic efforts. Once you have also been accepted to the university of your choice, there will still be numerous occasions to express your feelings to her.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned content will prove beneficial to you. I encourage you to persevere in your endeavors and to continue to strive for excellence. I have great confidence in your abilities and am optimistic about your future.

I bid you a good night.

Hello!

I see your longing for a beautiful relationship, and I see the struggle and confusion within you. You've got this!

It's normal and beautiful for a young man who is just falling in love to experience unrequited love or approach someone boldly!

It's only natural to feel curious and attracted to the opposite sex during adolescence. It's only natural to have a good impression of the girl you've been sitting next to for a semester. When you decide whether or not to pursue a more intimate relationship with her, consider her feelings. Love means responsibility. You should be responsible for yourself and for others. Seeing things from the other person's perspective shows that you are mature and in control.

I don't understand why you've decided to avoid girls. It seems like you're afraid of interacting with the opposite sex. I'd like to know what you think is dangerous about it.

You should fall in love because love is one of the most beautiful emotions. It brings us feelings of intimacy, sweetness, and happiness, and it is also the foundation of marriage.

It's normal to want to find someone you like to chat with and form an attachment. This is also what falling in love is about. If the other person has a good impression of you and has the same needs, you can enter into an intimate relationship and start a relationship.

Your studies are also very important for you, since you're in high school. A relationship at this time may take up a lot of your energy and affect your studies. It may be a bit early to fall in love, whether it's physically or mentally. But your interest and fondness for the opposite sex and your desire to interact with them are all very good, and there's nothing wrong with them. You don't have to deny yourself for this reason. No matter what choice you make, as long as you respect your heart, it will be the best.

Approach girls normally and naturally with an open mind. Get to know them. You'll break down the psychological defense that girls are dangerous.

And one day, when you are ready, love will bloom for you like a flower!

I am confident that the reply from Red Rain will be helpful. Thank you for asking!

This is a prototypical instance of a young adolescent male and female developing romantic feelings for each other. Such a process is typical of the majority of individuals.

It must be acknowledged that individuals will inevitably respond in disparate ways to the same circumstances, as the specific situation calls for a unique approach.

In this exchange, we have analyzed the problem from three perspectives in order to assist the reader in identifying an appropriate course of action.

Firstly, it is essential to address the psychological phenomenon of budding love in an appropriate manner.

Adolescence is a period during which teenagers typically encounter individuals who they consider to be their ideal partners. It is not uncommon for teenagers to experience positive feelings towards such individuals.

It is erroneous to assume that this emotional state is inherently problematic, or that it will inevitably impede academic performance.

From the aforementioned account, it is evident that the subject displays a discerning and well-defined thought process, exhibiting a clear understanding of the qualities they admire in the other individual.

During the summer, I transitioned from the first to the second year of high school, during which time I formed a favorable impression of my female classmate, with whom I had been seated for a semester following the class allocation process. I found her serious approach to work, her cheerful and sunny disposition, and the contrast between her soft demeanor and her penchant for assuming the persona of a male Aquaman particularly appealing.

Moreover, despite her extroverted demeanor, she is typically quite methodical and assiduous in her academic pursuits.

The admiration you have for each other's qualities also indicates that you are a motivated, cheerful, and studious student. It is therefore to be expected that you would form a positive impression of the individual who is worthy of your affections at this particular point in time.

It is advisable to follow one's heart and begin a friendship with someone one is interested in. It is somewhat premature to consider the possibility of falling in love.

It must be acknowledged that the future holds numerous potential variables, given that the individuals in question are still students.

Secondly, it is important to clarify your own relationship goals.

From your account, it is evident that you are a person who adheres to rigorous logic and careful thinking. Once you have formed the intention to fall in love with another individual, you will likely search online for information about the process of falling in love.

It is my hope that you will be able to comprehend this information before taking any action. This is a positive indication.

During the summer vacation, I added her WeChat account and initiated contact, leading to the idea of pursuing a romantic relationship. I then sought guidance on the subject of dating during high school, given my previously held conviction that it was not an appropriate pursuit before college.

In addition, it is important to consider the following two aspects, based on your current level of understanding:

It is not feasible to transplant the experiences of others into one's own life.

It is likely that you will also find a great many other people's experiences and advice through your search. However, it would be unwise to assume that these experiences are directly applicable to your own situation.

In conclusion, it is important to recognize that individuals are complex and diverse entities. It is not feasible to replicate the experiences of another person in one's own life.

One must consider whether the girl one admires is the optimal partner for one's future. Is she a potential lifelong companion?

It is only after a lengthy period of further communication that such a conclusion can be reached. Given that you are currently in high school, it is likely that you will gradually come into contact with a greater number of individuals as you progress to university.

The lack of clarity regarding career plans for both parties introduces a significant variable into the equation, particularly in terms of the potential integration of their respective families and the prospect of marriage.

Therefore, other people's experiences and stories can only be used as a partial reference. In order to find an answer that is applicable to oneself, it is necessary to analyze the situation from one's own perspective.

2. It is essential to clarify one's emotional needs.

It is essential to ascertain one's preferences in a romantic partner. These may include physical attributes, personality traits, family background, and values.

In the event that the girl you like aligns perfectly with your ideal partner, it would be prudent to initially maintain a platonic relationship. It is imperative not to miss the opportunity to connect with the individual who is truly suited to you.

In your statement, you indicated that

Subsequently, I discovered that my desire for a romantic partner was merely a longing for a conversational partner and a source of emotional support.

In fact, the response to this inquiry is inconsequential. A considerable number of relationships are initiated with the objective of identifying a suitable individual with whom to engage in conversation, seek support, and share confidential information.

In many cases, it is only after the commencement of communication and the acquisition of mutual knowledge that a relationship undergoes a gradual development.

It would be prudent to communicate with the other person at the appropriate time, deepen mutual understanding without compromising academic and personal pursuits, and ascertain whether the other person aligns with one's ideal partner profile. This will facilitate further clarification of the relationship in the future.

In the absence of further understanding, it is not possible to ascertain whether the other person is the optimal choice.

3. Identify an emotional approach that aligns with the present circumstances.

It is evident that the circumstances are not yet conducive to the formation of a romantic relationship.

You are both still high school students. In the future, you will attend university and select different majors. You will interact with a diverse range of individuals, and your career trajectory will undergo significant changes upon entering the workforce. You will encounter people from various backgrounds.

Therefore, the future is replete with uncontrollable factors, which is the primary reason why parents at school disapprove of students falling in love prematurely. There are simply too many variables.

However, one should not forego a potentially beneficial relationship simply because of external factors. In fact, numerous successful marriages have originated from relationships that began during one's formative years.

It is therefore incorrect to suggest that there is anything wrong with being clear about one's feelings or with falling in love. The issue is simply that the time is not yet right to confirm the relationship.

2. It is advisable to maintain a cordial friendship in order to facilitate further interactions.

It is evident from your narrative that you desire further communication and development with the other individual. However, you have reservations about your ability to assume this responsibility.

The underlying cause remains the multitude of unknowns that lie ahead.

I am relatively insecure. If that is the case, then I have taken love too lightly. Love signifies not only passion but also responsibility, both for oneself and for others.

The present circumstances are not conducive to the formation of a romantic relationship. It would be prudent to refrain from such a commitment until the future holds more certain prospects.

It is recommended that, at this juncture, the optimal course of action is to maintain a normal friendship and allow it to evolve organically in the future.

3. Eliminate the negative impact of misconceptions.

In the account presented, a number of concepts were identified as being one-sided and erroneous.

Additionally, I had minimal prior experience with girls, and I had adopted a policy of avoiding them. This led me to question whether my feelings for her were solely based on her being the first girl I had encountered. It was plausible that I was merely admiring her, but why would admiration result in a romantic relationship?

This perception is erroneous.

This perception is erroneous. The experience of falling in love is a positive one.

It is not uncommon for individuals to encounter a suitable partner during their academic years. However, due to external pressures and internal uncertainty, they may fail to capitalize on the opportunity for a fulfilling marriage. It is imperative to recognize that neither girls nor relationships are inherently dangerous. Instead, it is crucial to open one's heart and communicate with the other person to gain a deeper understanding. With regard to the potential for a romantic relationship, it is never too late to consider it when one becomes an adult.

As a minor student, it is important to prioritize academic pursuits. However, this does not necessitate the exclusion of all friendships with individuals of the opposite sex.

(2) It is essential to understand and address the primacy effect in a constructive manner.

The primacy effect was initially proposed by American psychologist Loftus and is also referred to as the first impression effect, priority effect, or first impression effect. It pertains to the impact of the initial impression formed by both parties on subsequent interactions, or the influence of "preconceived ideas." While these initial impressions are not always accurate, they are the most vivid and strongest, and shape the trajectory of future interactions between the two parties.

It is a common misconception that the initial encounter is both memorable and irreplaceable. However, this perception is erroneous.

The initial positive impression formed of another individual is a noteworthy phenomenon that should be appreciated and retained. However, this initial impression is influenced by the primacy effect.

This does not imply that it is irreplaceable.

This is evident from your remarks, which indicate a desire to both approach and avoid this girl, experiencing internal conflict and uncertainty.

It is unnecessary to experience such complex emotions.

It is sufficient to determine whether she is an appropriate partner. It is not necessary to make a decision regarding the relationship at this juncture.

It is recommended that the natural progression of the relationship be allowed to unfold, with an emphasis on fostering a deeper understanding of each other. The decision to commit to a relationship should be made at a future point in time.

It is unnecessary to prioritize this ambiguous relationship due to the first-mover effect and consequently situate it in a unique position, vulnerable to the challenges of navigating the mundane aspects of married life, such as cooking and cleaning.

It is insufficient to rely on single passion or the recollection of one's first sexual encounter to sustain one throughout the course of a lifetime.

In conclusion, it is hoped that the subject will emerge from this confused state as soon as possible and adjust their mindset. It is recommended that the relationship with the object of affection continue to develop as a friendship, and that, should circumstances permit, the couple may wish to consider furthering their relationship to include a romantic partnership.

It is my sincere hope that you both experience a mutually fulfilling romantic relationship that ultimately culminates in a blissful marriage.