Some things, just thinking about them makes tears well up in your heart. Is it still worth persevering?

Hello, I'd like to offer you a hug from all of us.

From your question and your feedback, I can sense a sense of powerlessness. You have shared what happened, your husband's emotions and behavior, your child's emotions and behavior, and your own response.

I would like to suggest that there is another factor that could be influencing the relationship between the three of you, which you may have overlooked: the child's grandfather.

Upon hearing the child say he also wanted to play with the donkey, you felt a sense of sadness, perhaps also because you observed that the child's behavior seemed to mirror your husband's. You are concerned that the child may potentially develop traits similar to those of your husband, which is likely your most significant concern.

From your brief question, I believe it would be helpful to discuss the heritage of these three men in your family: grandfather, father, and son. I don't know what the father's relationship with his grandfather is like, but from your question, I can imagine that it may not be as harmonious as it could be. You mentioned that the father-in-law purchased three additional sets in a somewhat agitated state.

It seems that Dad is at a loss to respond to Grandpa's behavior. To be frank, Grandpa may be a somewhat stubborn individual. Despite the fact that the old man has repeatedly taken the broom from the living room to the bathroom, it is difficult to ascertain whether this is due to his advanced age and potential memory loss, or whether he simply prefers to do things his own way and is reluctant to consider other perspectives.

In any case, it seems that Dad is upset with Grandpa for acting in a repetitive manner. You even used the word "fury." It appears that Dad is unable to express his anger towards Grandpa or to act in a way that might be perceived as foolish.

The reason is understandable. For Chinese men, filial piety is of great importance. If Dad argues with Grandpa directly, he may feel that he is being unfilial. The label of being unfilial, even if it is self-imposed, can overwhelm a man with guilt and remorse.

It's important to remember that just because your husband can't argue with his father-in-law, it doesn't mean he can't argue with you and his children. This can make you feel like you're kind of like scapegoats. It's also worth noting that your children are probably not very old, and when your husband is in a rage, he might not think about how his actions affect them.

However, when Dad is in a rage, he tends to overlook this.

This could be described as the kicking-the-cat effect, which refers to the chain reaction of venting one's dissatisfaction towards an object that is weaker or lower in status than oneself, and is a typical contagion of bad emotions.

From what you have described, it seems that you and your child are the ones facing challenges.

I'm not sure how the three of you interact without the grandfather's involvement. If we consider the factors that influence Dad's emotions, how would you describe his relationship with the children and with you?

It may be helpful to consider that the root cause of your family's situation could lie in the relationship between your father and his grandfather, or in your father's unresolved childhood trauma. It is possible that your father's grandfather treated him in a similar way when he was a child, and that your father learned how to interact with children from his grandfather.

It's possible that Dad's childhood trauma may be triggered when he encounters similar situations. It might be helpful for him to see his own patterns of behavior and his own unresolved trauma.

These are just my thoughts on the matter, and I hope they might be helpful to you in considering how to proceed.

In the current situation, it might be helpful to talk to your husband patiently and without judgment, especially not involving the grandfather, as this could potentially trigger what men often refer to as their "red lines." Many men feel that their parents are their "red lines" and may not respond well to being touched on these topics.

From your feedback, it seems that what triggered dad's anger and stormy weather was a similar scene from the past, which had nothing to do with the child and nothing to do with you.

When talking to your husband, it would be helpful to be honest, avoid making judgments, and simply state your observations while empathizing with his feelings. It might also be beneficial to seek the guidance of a counselor for couples counseling.

I am a counselor who is often Buddhist and sometimes pessimistic, occasionally positive and motivated. I hope the world and I can help you in any way we can.

Hello, host. Let me give you a warm hug first. I can relate to you because I have a hot-tempered father, too.

You want to comfort your husband and protect your child, but it's so difficult, you feel so helpless, and you don't know what to do anymore. Let's take a closer look at the reasons, and I hope it will be helpful.

First of all, we can see from Dad's behavior that he's a perfectionist who wants others to do things his way. If they don't, he gets very emotional. So, we need to think about why Dad gets so emotional.

Maybe this is how he was raised. Or maybe he's angry at his grandfather and is expressing that anger.

Or maybe he's under a lot of pressure at work and can't control his emotions well. In an effort to assert his authority and gain respect and dignity, he tries to take control of the conversation at home to release some stress. As his wife, we're already married with children.

He really wants the family to be happier and get along better. So we need to find a way to relieve Dad of this negative emotional pressure and satisfy his needs, so that he will have fewer outbursts.

For instance, when he's calm, ask him why he's so emotional. What's the real psychological need behind the expression of emotions?

It's about respect, recognition, and understanding.

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Or what do you think?

Instead of getting hung up on the surface-level issue of where to put the broom, help us identify the root of the problem and show your understanding and respect for Dad.

You can tell him calmly that you hope he can become a good father and set a good example for the child, which is very beneficial for the child. You also believe that he can do it.

The thing is, Dad wants to be a good father, but he can't do it without someone understanding and resolving his internal psychological problems. And he's not aware of it. However, if the wife can bring this up and give him respect and recognition, he'll feel responsible and may be able to control his emotions appropriately.

Second, from the child's perspective, talk to them to get a sense of what they're feeling and thinking during the conflict with their father.

As a mother, you can help your child build psychological resilience so that they can resolve their resentment towards their father. It's important to help them understand how difficult it is for their father and to find ways to get along with their father harmoniously, including communicating their feelings.

You can tell your husband when he's in a good mood, "Dad, you made me feel really sad when you said that to me last time. Dad, next time I make a mistake, can you please try to tell me calmly?" It's similar to this approach. You need to teach your child how to handle their relationship with their father and how to resolve their inner conflicts.

I also hope that the original poster takes care of herself in her daily life. It's important to take care of your own psychological needs and emotions.

We can only be warm and wise mothers and naturally know how to deal with our children and husbands when we are mentally stable.

I hope you can learn more. I suggest you learn about nonviolent communication and positive discipline when you have time. There are books on the subject, and you can also find audio recordings on Himalaya. I hope your family will become more and more harmonious and happy.

Good day, my name is Jianlin, and I am a licensed psychological counselor.

I have recently had the opportunity to closely examine the family issues you have faced. The article in question addresses a relatively minor family matter, a relatively minor issue.

The primary issue is that the elderly members of the household have failed to recognize the importance of using different types of brooms for different cleaning tasks. This has led to misunderstandings and conflicts between the child, the father, and you.

The emotional responses of each family member when addressing minor issues. It is evident that there is a lack of agency and control.

This is an additional source of distress.

While the issue may seem trivial, it is clear that the child's father is the primary factor. From my observation, he grew up in an environment that was relatively indulgent. Despite being a father, his emotional expression is significantly less mature than that of a child.

Such a personality will present various members of our family with a particularly challenging set of circumstances. First and foremost, the elderly may not have the capacity to recall details as well as they once did, and even simple tasks such as cleaning the house may seem overly complex for them to manage.

He will feel constrained and even nervous in this family environment, and in the end, he may even want to escape. As for the son, seeing his father behave in such an extreme manner, his body and mind are seriously affected. It is evident that he can discern that some of his minor actions are similar to those of his father.

Such a personality will significantly impact his future behavior and decision-making abilities. As a wife, you will also be affected.

As the intermediary between the parties, you are in a challenging position. You feel helpless when you see his emotional outbursts, and you even use expletives to express your dissatisfaction with him.

I empathize with the pain expressed in the title. As you stated, it is silent tears.

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I would prefer to explain your husband's behavior in a way that is perceived as childish than to use the words you used. Then, in life, assuming that you can make him realize the existence of his own problems,

It would be beneficial for him to control his emotions a little when he gets excited. This should result in a more harmonious environment.

In such instances, it would be advisable to ignore and not react, while maintaining a distance from the individual in question. It may be helpful to turn their spoiled and impatient emotions into a sense of insecurity and even fear, so that they understand that their actions will have consequences for those around them.

It is essential to ensure that he is fully aware of the consequences of his actions, regardless of whether he is the father, the wife, or the children.

What approach should we take and what rational thinking should we employ? It is evident that this is an issue that requires his attention and a change in his behaviour. We should therefore start with this aspect and work towards uniting all family members around us.

It would be beneficial to work together to identify ways to address and modify his established patterns of behavior. What are your thoughts on this approach?

The above outlines the issues that have arisen in your family with regard to domestic tasks. We have analysed these together and hope that you will find this information useful.

Please accept this expression of my sincerest thanks.

Hello!

Your baby is still reading picture books, so he shouldn't be too old. This is a time when children are both mischievous and cute, but it's also a time when they take a lot of mental energy from adults. It's already a lot of work for a mother to take care of a small child, and when you add in such a hot-tempered husband, it's even more work.

I understand your situation. I want to say, "I can't stand your father!" But we're not angry, and we have to think about the child.

You see things clearly and describe problems well. You are rational and confirm your own thoughts.

I feel you're assertive and can handle difficult things. Maybe God is training you to be more adaptable!

If we could choose, no one would want to live like this. Who wouldn't want to be treated like a princess? What's the situation now?

We have to take care of the father, the child, and sometimes the grandfather. It's not easy.

However, we know our situation and think we can see things differently. We won't feel so upset.

You said the father felt neglected and looked down upon. Did you take good care of him when you were in love?

He feels he should keep doing it. If so, we should let him adjust.

How can we feel less sad?

Let me share my views.

If the father loves the child, we can try to make him less hot-tempered. For example, if the child refuses to put the broom away, you can tell him that the child is not letting you take it, not that you are not taking it. See his reaction. You can also say, "I'll take a picture, let's see what the set looks like!"

I'm not sure if these solutions will work because I haven't seen it for myself.

Secondly, you need to understand why she is so angry. From what you said, it's hard to know why. These two incidents seem minor. I think this is what makes you feel so difficult. Just hang in there. You also saw the child imitating again. If you can afford it, what do you suggest?

You can get psychological counseling again.

We should find ways to cope with whatever comes our way, but most importantly, we must love ourselves and improve our abilities. We should try to observe the father's weaknesses and attack them. Since he is so angry, we should try to keep him under control. I think he might still be angry, otherwise why would he keep the lights on? Why did he lose his temper?

I hope to improve myself to reduce the time between his tantrums. What can we do to improve ourselves?

Your child is already big, so it's good for you both to learn from each other. This will help your family be more harmonious. You need wisdom, so come to the platform more often to learn from others. I believe in your ability to make your family's life better.

Thank you, and I love you!

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first, okay?

It's so sad to see a father lose his temper because of his child's naughtiness. It's so understandable that he feels a sense of grievance and longing for understanding and acceptance.

It's totally normal to feel distressed when faced with your child's father's short temper. It's likely that you're feeling this way because you're attributing the cause of his temper tantrum to your child. You might think that your child is not good enough to provoke him, that he is angry, and that he does not accept this way of behaving from your child. The truth is that your child and you have nothing to do with your father's temper. It's likely that he has an emotional trigger inside him, and he just vents it out through your child. This may be because of the pressure from work, or because he is longing for an emotional response from you and has not been responded to in the way he expects. Your child is the most vulnerable being in the family, so venting all his inner grievances and pain on your child will not pose any threat to him, which means that he is safe enough.

So, behind Dad's grumpy temper is a need. What you can do is try to give him enough understanding and acceptance at the moment he loses his temper, without judging his words and actions at that moment. Then lead your child away from that emotional scene, and after he has calmed down a bit, bravely and sincerely tell him the true feelings you had at that moment. At the same time, express that if he needs your support and help, he can tell you directly, as long as he is willing to. Let him feel that he is seen and accepted by you. This is likely to make him lower his internal defenses, and try to express his true emotional feelings to you.

Hi, I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum. I just wanted to say that the world and I love you!

Hello, I'm a mother who is overwhelmed and sad. I don't know how your husband behaves at home. This is a problem for the child. What if he develops Tourette's syndrome? Will you regret it?

If the father yells at the child, it's wrong. This will affect the child when he grows up. He will be angry at his father and have problems with his marriage. Who will be affected?

A good mother makes a happy family, and a good father feels safe and lucky. Reassure the child, talk to your husband when he's calm, or talk to a friend about the problem.

Children are the hope and future of their parents. They are also their parents' sensors. If parents can relax, children will be happy. Without warmth in the family, there can be no happiness.

If your father gets angry, you should comfort him and talk to him. You can't avoid this. Some people still care about this generation. Should we let children suffer? If they are abused, they will never be happy.

As a mother, I understand. The child is still young, and we should teach him how to get along with other children. It will be sad if the child doesn't get his father's love.

Can the mother talk to her husband? Then the father can be more tolerant and generous, and give the child a happy childhood.

Let the child know that his father's arms are strong. He can move forward and fly in his own life.

The mother of the questioner will make things right between you.

The mother of the questioner will make her child more outstanding and aware of love. Pass on happiness to your child.

We're all parents and sometimes don't know where to start. My husband loses his temper a lot. Ask him and yourself questions.

1. Why do you get angry?

2. Do you get angry at your kids when you're upset?

3. "Can I solve the problem by getting angry? If I can't solve the problem, how should I change it and what should I do to fix it?"

The liver is in charge of regulating emotions and anger. If the liver is healthy, it can help your husband control his anger. Anger can affect the liver's excretion function. So, tell your husband not to pass on his anger to the child. In front of the child, pay more attention to what you say and do.

Tell your husband that if he controls his temper, he can make his children happy. If he lowers his temper, he can win.

Tell your husband that replacing his bad temper with kindness can give the child a sense of security. He should spend more time with the child and be more patient. Sports, swimming, and playing ball are all fine, and giving the child a warm hug and offering more comfort is the best way to show love. I hope the child's father is a good father, and I also hope that the questioner will open his heart every day in the future and walk hand in hand together.