Sometimes I can't help being childishly whiny, and I feel it's not very mature. What's wrong with me?

Good day, question asker.

I believe your concluding statement is particularly apt: mountains possess a tranquil quality, while water exudes a vibrant energy. It is these contrasts that enable us to experience a multifaceted and vibrant world.

From your perspective, young girls are perceived as having characteristics such as beauty, emotional expressiveness, and a tendency to be indulged. It appears that these traits are not particularly favored in your subconscious. Have there been individuals in your past who exhibited similar characteristics?

Please provide an overview of how these characteristics are perceived by those around you.

Everything has two sides. Regardless of the characteristic in question, as long as it reacts appropriately to the right event, it will produce a harmonious effect. There is nothing wrong with being beautiful. Being with someone who is good-looking makes you feel better. Showing a childish side appropriately can also bring people closer and make them feel relaxed and trusting.

From your description, it seems that these behaviors have not caused substantial problems in your professional life, except that you may be surprised that you behave differently from what you imagined yourself to be. Whether it is the assertive you or the indulged you, they are all part of your professional persona. It is just that during your formative years, some of our values were influenced by our surroundings at the time and were somewhat limited. However, as we gain more experience, some of our original values will change.

I believe the issue may be rooted in your past perceptions of the feminine side of women, and that a solution may lie in revisiting these perceptions.

I must admit that I am not the most knowledgeable person in this field. However, I am grateful for your attention and I hope that you found this message interesting.

How old is the questioner? Reading the whole text, I get the impression that the questioner has become more mature and resilient in life.

"My main personality is still more mature and queen-like." How did the questioner cultivate this personality? It seems that "mature and queen-like" is preferred!

"Or is it a regression caused by depression?" How do you understand this sentence? It's worth noting that depression can also lead to growth.

The current question owner said:

I'm confident in front of others, but in front of the person I like I can be very girly. Sometimes I take selfies of myself looking cute, and I like to treat myself. I'm not sure if I'm a woman or a girl, but I'm definitely gendered.

2. I've also become more vain, and I care more about looking good and staying young.

3. When I'm around some boys, I want to use my gentleness to get the upper hand.

Previous questioner:

1. I prefer to be treated like a guy because it's easier. I think it's more impressive to be strong, decisive, uninhibited, calm, and masculine. I don't care for girls who cry all the time.

2. I'm only gentle with my husband.

If I could compare the two, which one feels closer to your female gender and which one feels closer to real humanity and is more comfortable?

"How can I act more maturely in front of others and take on more responsibility?" What does it mean to the questioner to act "childish and more responsibly" in front of others?

"I want to make the boy's personality more obvious, and I also want to make my own personality a little more stable." Does the questioner think that "the boy's personality" is "a more stable personality"? What does "a stable personality" mean to the questioner?

The text doesn't show that the questioner's character is "unstable." Maybe the questioner thinks some of the changes that have happened to him now are because he thinks he's unstable?

From a psychological perspective, a mature person is someone who is resilient in life. As the saying goes, "Singing whatever song goes with the mountain."

People with psychological problems often have trouble adapting to changes in their environment because their behavior doesn't align with their surroundings. This can cause problems for themselves and others. They often seek help to make their behavior more compatible with their surroundings.

Yes, mountains have a calmness all their own, and water has a spirit of its own, too. It's hard to say which is better; you have to look at the bigger picture. From this perspective, I feel that the questioner has grown more mature and has more ways to interact and get along with the surrounding environment, so that they are comfortable and so are others.

I'm not stuck in a rut anymore.

I really do think that I've been able to help, and I hope that my reply has been useful. All the best!

Thank the original poster for being honest. This has given us a great image of a woman. I think this charm makes those around you feel comfortable!

When we were young, we saw characters in fairy tales as flat figures with one personality: kind heroes, bad villains, mean stepmothers, scheming villains, gentle mothers, stern fathers, studious girls, mischievous boys, kind teachers, tough workers. Each had one fixed persona.

Movies and TV shows often have characters with many different traits. Even kind characters can have worldly thoughts, and even criminals can sometimes care about people. Some writers put two opposite traits in one character to create contrast and psychological impact.

Back to real life, everyone is an organism with a complex personality. This diverse character is vital and makes you aware of unexpected parts of yourself.

Back to the original question: enjoy your different sides. Show them to others too.

If you need to appear mature, calm, and restrained in public, do some self-analysis to determine which situations require this image.

Keep a specific image in appropriate situations and let go of the soft, weak parts of yourself.

Hello? I love you!

I admire your ability to be strict with yourself while still maintaining a sense of self-compassion. I'm not sure of your exact age, but I sense that you possess a youthful exuberance and a richness of experience.

First, you should do whatever you want. There is no need to pretend to be calm and composed. Given that a person's life is so short, it would be wise to live it meaningfully and fully.

It's worth noting that what was like before does not necessarily have to stay the same afterwards. It might be helpful to focus on being comfortable and happy, rather than being too conscious about your changes.

Secondly, women are naturally inclined to be gentle and affectionate. If a man displays these qualities, it may be perceived as unusual. It is therefore important to embrace your natural instincts and allow them to flourish, rather than holding them back.

It might be helpful to remember that being cute and cuddly doesn't necessarily mean being immature.

Third, you mentioned the age you want to have a child, depression, and I'm sure you have many untold stories and experiences. I empathize with you.

Setbacks and difficulties can sometimes have a significant impact on our lives, prompting personal growth and change. Adapting to one's nature and living in alignment with it is a crucial aspect of this process.

Perhaps it would be best not to think too much about it.

I truly believe that you have the power to choose the most relaxed and comfortable way to spend each day, and I am excited to see the positive changes that will come about as a result.

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope this message finds you well. I am a young person (ID: qingnianJIA2020) who is interested in maintaining contact with you. Best regards,

I would like to kindly direct your attention to the Psychology Q&A Hall, which is a supportive community where I believe we can all learn and grow together. You can find it here: https://m.xinli001.com/qa.

Hello, I'm Gu Yi, and I'm as modest and self-effacing as ever!

The colored pencil traces the space, and the best part is that the pencil itself does not lose its color! The space is not stained either!

A sharp knife cuts water without damaging the blade and leaves no trace on anyone. Amazing, isn't it?

Each age group has its own unique personality traits!

When we were young and ignorant, we treated our own dressing style and behavior according to our own preferences, because in our subconscious mind, we loved these things because we came from some identity information conveyed by these labels. Just as you mentioned in your description: "I used to like others to treat me as a boy, because I thought it was simple. I thought that the strength, decisiveness, generosity, composure, and masculinity of men were cooler, and I didn't like the crybaby-like behavior of little girls."

This is how we set ourselves up in the heroic role we think we are! You want your character to have traits like strength, decisiveness, and composure, so you dress and groom yourself to be more like these things. And in the whole process, because of the pursuit, you are happy and more satisfied with yourself! In this way, you have the judgment that "my main character is more mature and queenly," and it's true!

It's also a wonderful way to affirm and reflect on all the amazing things you've done in the past!

However, as time goes by, you start to care about some of your own characteristics as a woman, and you will unconsciously make this kind of coquettish appeal. This is actually quite normal. As you get older, the long-term suppression of your true self means that you can't do things from a girl's perspective.

This is contrary to the character role you usually set for yourself, so you have these doubts. As our biological age increases and social pressures increase, we begin to reflect on our original character traits. At this time, the underlying character gradually becomes more prominent, which is normal. The process of releasing one's true nature is something that should not be self-blaming or embarrassing.

Life is short, so go with the flow!

It's so great to be able to identify what you like and admire from your younger days and then put it into practice! You've also achieved some amazing things. We've spent a long time in this role and have experienced all the good and bad that it has brought us. Now, we're ready for something new! Our hearts are yearning for other directions, so let's give it a chance. There's no set script or role in life. Go for it if you like! It could be a brand new breakthrough for you, and that's okay. It's just a release of your true nature.

❀What is self? This is a question with no standard answer, because there are many versions of you in other people's mouths. We seem to be quite powerless about what other people might say, but what we can do is follow our hearts and be true to ourselves. And that's what being your true self is all about! So don't burden yourself with mental stress.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being childish and gentle in front of someone who can hold up the sky for you!

❀ Mountains have the calmness of mountains, and water has the vitality of water. No one says that men must be mountains and women must be water. But the first step is to break out of this kind of thinking, and it's an exciting one!

A good balance between relaxation and tension, and between strength and gentleness, is what we should pursue. The famous Empress Xiao Zhuang of the Qing Dynasty had a very typical character. She had a calm and composed attitude towards national affairs, was gentle and kind towards her children and grandchildren, and was extremely cute when facing her favorite objects.

I really hope the questioner doesn't get stuck in their character! If they can be a little more open-minded, they'll reap even greater rewards!

Wishing you the very best!

Good day. I am pleased to see that you have requested assistance, and I hope that my input can provide you with the support and guidance you require.

From your description, it is evident that your decision to seek assistance was prompted by your recognition that, at your current age, you still rely on coquetry to a significant extent to garner the attention, care, appreciation, and love of those around you. When your behavior does not result in harm or further negative consequences for yourself or those in your vicinity, there is no cause for undue concern. It is essential to adhere to your inner compass and be true to yourself.

The self-states you described as being expressed at different ages are actually common to everyone. The ability to switch between the states of the inner self in a timely manner according to the needs of the situation and relationship, and to maximize the function of the inner self, is an indicator of gradual self-improvement and maturity.

Everyone has three ego states: child, parent, and adult. At this stage in your life, you are expressing more of your child self, which is the state of a naughty, cute child who longs to be loved. You may be repeatedly expressing your child self because your previous imperfect and immature self-functioning caused you to express more of your adult self and repress your child self. This resulted in the repression of your child self's needs, such as the desire to be loved, cared for, attended to, and praised. These needs will not disappear just because you repressed them; they will continue to be answered as your self-functioning matures and becomes more complete.

It is therefore recommended that you accept and allow yourself to express more of your child self at this age. As long as you are not causing harm or other negative effects to yourself or those around you when using your child self, there is no cause for concern. When you have a good awareness of your own state of behavior, you can try to consciously switch between your three ego states under the guidance of self-awareness, so as to better exert your ego functions. This will not only result in your needs being better met, but it will also not harm the relationship, but rather make it more harmonious.

I would like to extend my warmest regards to the world and express my love for you all!

In "So What If I'm a Spider Again," the Demon King's initial personality is that of a queen. Later, for some reason, she becomes more coquettish and more resilient—and it's absolutely fascinating to see how a person's personality itself can change!

You can see the changes in your life during this period, as well as your own emotional changes. Whether it is a change caused by being alone, or some impact brought to yourself by certain residual depressive emotions, there are many internal operating rules—and you can learn to navigate them!

♠Sometimes I just can't help being childish and coquettish! It's not very mature, but it's fun!

♠ The main personality is still more of a mature queen type, which is great!

♠ Being alone for a long time can make you think about having children in a new way!

?️?️?️?️?️CUTE!

?️?️?️?️?️Excited

You feel that you should be poised in public, but then you post cute photos of yourself acting cute! Your gender is becoming more obvious, and this change may also be related to your age.

?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?️?

And the best part is that the main and secondary personalities of the self will become more obvious!

Embrace all aspects of your amazing personality!

This type of character is like stars embellishing the sun! You can have a main personality to face others, and at the same time, you can also have some secondary personalities to embellish and embellish. Isn't such a life also very rich?

You once hoped that others would see you as a boy because being calm and masculine is cool. But now you can still be cool! Being cool means that this person is fashionable and free to express themselves. This may be a change over time, but it's an exciting one!

You are also very gentle with your husband, which is a wonderful part of your character and role. If you want to avoid coquetry in front of others, you may need to be aware of the application of different communication modes in different situations, so that you can make a distinction – and you can do it!

If you want to be more stable, you can do it! All you have to do is think about what you really want to show and what you want others to see. And you can control this yourself. For example, being composed in front of others means being capable and not complaining. And you can show this personality in most situations!

The best part is that you can still retain the charm of being spoiled! It can make those around you feel more at ease, and it can help resolve conflicts better. I highly recommend that you take the Life Base Color Psychological Test to see what your main character color is and make corresponding changes. Good luck!

ZQ?