Hello, question asker! My name is Evan, and I'm a counselor who specializes in the transference school.
From what you've told me, it's clear that you're feeling scared and helpless. It seems like your dad is a bit overbearing towards your mum, and you're under a lot of pressure yourself, which is making you feel really insecure.
I can really see how tough it must be for the questioner to grow up in such a family.
It seems to me that the father's demands on the questioner are more about exerting control and expressing his own violence. This can make it difficult for the questioner to stand up for themselves when faced with bullying, and can even lead to feelings of fear and helplessness.
It's totally normal to feel a bit inferior and helpless when you're facing bullying or neglect. But you're not alone! Lots of people have been there and got through it.
It's so important to remember that a person's self-esteem and self-confidence can be affected by lots of different things, including their family environment, their personality traits and their social skills.
It can be tough to know how to get out of a tricky situation, live your own life, build self-confidence and self-esteem, and gain the respect of others when you're facing the influence of your original family. It's a lot to think about! The good news is that you don't have to do it alone. By being self-aware, you can start to see what kind of life you want and how you view your original family. We're here to support you in any way we can!
Since you've asked the question on the platform, we can't go into too much detail about your question. But we can give you some simple suggestions on how to deal with the current situation.
Build self-esteem and self-awareness: It's so important for the questioner to realize that the value of each individual is not defined by the evaluation of others. The questioner can gain a deeper understanding of their own values, strengths, and interests. The questioner is an independent individual with their own thoughts and feelings, and all of those things are worthy of respect!
Everyone has their own special something, and there's no need to worry about pleasing others or seeking their approval. You can try to give yourself some positive affirmation every day, like "I deserve to be respected" and "my thoughts matter."
If you don't think you deserve to be valued, it can be tough for others to value you too.
If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's okay to seek professional help. The state is paying close attention to the psychology of students, and schools will be equipped with their own psychological counselors. You can talk to the school's psychological counselor or a professional counselor from a psychological institution about how you're feeling.
They can also give the subject lots of helpful advice and support to help them cope better with bullying and feelings of inferiority, as well as how to deal with external pressures.
Boost your self-confidence! You can build up your abilities and skills by taking part in activities or courses that interest you. And when you achieve something, your self-confidence will grow right along with it!
In these activities, the questioner can meet like-minded friends who can support and encourage each other. It's also a great idea to try to actively express your own views and opinions. Don't be afraid to stick up for yourself, even if you are ignored or ridiculed. You've got this!
When you show your own value, you'll find that others don't belittle or take you lightly.
Learning to say "no" firmly is an important skill to have in order to protect yourself. It can be a little tricky at first, but with a little practice, you'll get the hang of it!
We all have to do things we don't want to do sometimes, and that's okay! It's totally normal to learn to say no and protect your own rights. Everyone has the right to say "no" to things they don't like or things they don't want to do, even if that person is the questioner's father.
In the face of bullying in the family, the questioner also has the right to say "no," and this right is even protected by law. It's so important to remember that you can be kind, but you also have the right to protect that kindness. If you don't feel you can do that, it's okay to show less kindness.
It's so important to build a support system! Find like-minded friends and build a support system. And remember, don't rush into making friends.
It takes time and patience to build a true friendship. It's so important to connect with people who respect and appreciate you, rather than those who only use you or make you feel uncomfortable.
It's so important to share your feelings and experiences with these people. They'll give you so much understanding and support! At the same time, it's also good to avoid excessive contact with those who often bully you.
If you're facing bullying in your family, it's important to know that you're not alone. There are lots of people and organizations out there who can help. You can try reaching out to your neighborhood committee, women's federation, local social work organizations in your community, or even some public welfare legal institutions. They can help you figure out how to protect yourself and your mother's rights and interests in the family.
It's so important to learn to express yourself! In social situations, it's sometimes necessary to express your views and feelings. The questioner can prepare some topics in advance and practice how to express their views.
It's also a great idea to learn to listen to others so that you can establish a more equal exchange. I'm really happy that the questioner can see their own problems and ask for help on the platform. This is a wonderful first step in bravely expressing themselves and it's also the first step in changing themselves.
It's so important to communicate with your parents. Try to talk to them in a calm and rational way about how you're feeling and what you need. Let them know what you're going through and ask them for their understanding and support.
If you're having trouble communicating, think about asking a family member or friend to help you out. It's also important to learn to set healthy boundaries for yourself. Your dad taught you to be kind and genuine when you're around friends, but what about when you're dealing with people who are mean or unkind?
It's so important to be aware of this, don't you think?
It's so important to take care of yourself! Learn some basic self-defense techniques or ask for help when you need it. And remember, it's okay to avoid putting yourself in dangerous or uncomfortable situations. You've got this!
When you're faced with people who are not nice to you and always seek to find a sense of self-worth by bullying others, you can learn to keep your distance and avoid excessive contact with such people. It's okay not to pay too much attention to what others think — focus on your own growth and progress!
As you grow stronger and more confident, you'll find that those around you will start to change their attitudes towards you too.
Remember, everyone has their own value and uniqueness, and doesn't need anyone else's approval to know who they are. For some people, self-improvement can be a challenging journey. It's okay if it's a slow process and takes time and patience.
Take your time and don't be too hard on yourself. You've got this! You can get out of any difficult situation and become a more confident, self-respecting, and independent person.
We really hope these suggestions will help the person asking the question find their way out of their situation and discover their true selves.
I'd also like to suggest some other books that I think you'll enjoy!
Fish that Climb Trees: This book describes the sad phenomenon of bullying at school, in particular traditional bullying and bullying through gossip. It can give the reader a deeper understanding of the nature and impact of this phenomenon. By reading this book, the reader may find experiences similar to their own and learn how to better face and deal with these problems.
Big Red Riding Hood and the Little Grey Wolf: This book is a real treat! Not only does it have a fascinating storyline, but it also contains a message from psychologist Elizabeth McCullum to parents. She identifies some of the signs that a child is involved in bullying and gives advice on how to deal with the different roles.
This book is here to help you! It can help you recognize the different roles that you might play in bullying situations and find a way to cope that's just right for you.
How can we stay away from violence? This book is here to help! It teaches children that violence can take many forms and can happen at any age. By reading it, children can learn how to identify violent behavior and ways to stay away from violence to protect themselves from harm.
The "Learning to Love Yourself" series is a wonderful set of books that teaches children how to get along with others, reject school violence, and better integrate into the group. Reading these books is a great way for kids to learn how to establish healthy interpersonal relationships, enhance their awareness of self-protection, and cultivate self-esteem and self-confidence.
The book "The Courage to Say No to Domination" dives deep into how we're all tied up by our inner thoughts and outside pressures. It shows us how to break free from these chains and be our true selves with courage. The book gently reminds us that we all, without realizing it, create a script for our lives and act according to it.
These scripts are just little obsessions that exist in our minds. If you want to change your life, it is these little obsessions that need to be changed.
Comments
I understand how tough that feels. It's really hard when people you care about start to distance themselves. Maybe it's time to focus on yourself and what makes you happy.
Sometimes friends drift apart, and it's not necessarily your fault. Try to reach out to them, let them know how you feel, and see if you can reconnect.
It's frustrating when guys turn away from you, but don't lose hope. There are plenty of people who will appreciate you for who you are. Keep being true to yourself.
Feeling ignored is no fun at all. Consider talking to someone you trust about this. They might offer some support or a fresh perspective on the situation.
When people turn their backs, it can be a sign to look for new connections. Maybe this is an opportunity to meet new people who value your friendship.