The boss always looks so bored, but he's actually fine. Does he have a mental problem?

It's important to remember that how you see yourself is different from how others see you. If you can understand and agree with this, you'll also be able to understand other people's reactions.

You make a fair point. You are easygoing, warm, and high-maintenance. However, high-maintenance often comes with the impression of being unfriendly and aloof. Others see you the way you are and get similar feelings and impressions. They are also telling the truth.

Of course, you can stick to being yourself, and there's nothing wrong with that. But the friend's feelings are also real, and her choice is reasonable. Everyone will naturally feel close to and distant from people who bring different feelings, even if you think her judgment is wrong and not in line with the facts.

She's not you, and you can't change her feelings or choices. So, it's up to you. If this kind of behavior or appearance often leads to misjudgments and misunderstandings in interpersonal relationships, and if this experience can be confirmed, then you need to make your own choice about this conclusion.

It's just that I don't care, I'm just going to be myself; or I feel uncomfortable with the result, I feel sad. Obviously, in this causal chain, you need to improve other people's feelings and impressions, and improve your self-image.

It's important to remember that people who seem incompatible on the surface may not actually be. They may just seem that way, just like you.

I wish you all the best.

Hello, my name is Zeyu.

Before I begin, I'd like to suggest that perhaps you might benefit from a different perspective. I believe that you are lovely and that you don't have any psychological issues. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that you are quite attractive.

You mentioned that you always seem aloof, or that you are quiet, but I believe that you are actually a warm-hearted person who is easy-going and willing to listen to and understand other people's troubles. Aloofness is just an appearance. From this, we can see that you have a clear understanding of yourself and your own self-awareness, which is a great strength. This alone can prove that you do not have psychological problems. Please believe this.

Given your personality, it's understandable that you often find yourself facing misunderstandings. When this happens, it's natural to feel troubled and a bit helpless. It's important to recognize that people are often prone to preconceptions and that they may label others in various ways, which can lead to misunderstandings.

They may be inclined to accept others' interpretations of their feelings at face value, while assuming their own views are in alignment with the true feelings of others. However, this may not always be the case, leading to misunderstandings and ongoing challenges.

There are a number of ways in which we can address this issue, and we will explain them one by one.

1. It might be helpful to accept yourself for who you really are, be brave, and be yourself. It's worth considering the benefits that a cool appearance can bring us. Being yourself is a great foundation and origin for everything. If we lose this, we might lose sight of who we really are.

2. Consider taking the initiative to lift the veil of "coldness." It's possible that we may come across as too "cold" in normal times, which could make others feel unable or afraid to approach us and discover the real us. It might be helpful to give others the chance to see the real us through some groups or social activities. This could help dispel other people's illusions about us and lift the veil of mystery.

3. You may wish to consider seeking help from others proactively. If this is not something you feel you need to do, then there is no obligation to do so.

4. Consider taking the initiative to establish social relationships with others and provide help within your abilities. When you take the initiative to help others, it may be easier for people to accept your goodwill, and they may be more likely to take the initiative to get to know you.

It is my sincere hope that the above four methods will prove beneficial to the poster in overcoming their current difficulties. Furthermore, it is my wish that the poster will be able to find a solution that works for them.

If one or two people have mentioned this to you, it might be biased, but if many people in your life have given you this feedback about your unapproachable situation, it could mean that there is some part of you that you are not aware of. Rather than having to judge whether you have psychological problems, you should take this opportunity to explore the unconscious part of yourself.

We're actually pretty complex on the inside, with different ways of dealing with happiness and pain, and various ways to cope with different kinds of pain, etc. It's all very natural. For example, everyone will experience the inevitable process of feeling heartbroken and very sad and lost.

But everyone deals with pain differently. Some people talk about it, some people eat, some people exercise, some people ignore it, and some people lash out. These are all coping mechanisms.

Defense mechanisms are fixed ways of dealing with pain, and sometimes they work without us even being aware of it. But they are not set in stone, and we can adjust them through personal growth.

Our bodies, minds, and defense mechanisms all develop from immaturity to maturity. Most of our childhood defense mechanisms are childish, and at a certain stage, they become rigid and unsuitable. We need to develop more adaptive and flexible mature defense mechanisms. For example, when we were young and faced with pain, we would quickly become happy by overeating. But if we continue to use overeating to deal with pain when we become adults, it may lead to unhealthy conditions such as obesity.

The speaker mentioned his own interpersonal difficulties. You might think you've always treated people this way. Maybe it was applicable when you were a child and helped you get through some painful moments in your childhood, but now that you are an adult, it may not always be applicable and may even prevent you from developing better interpersonal relationships. So now that you are feeling pain from interpersonal relationships, this may be an opportunity—an opportunity to re-evaluate yourself and grow.

Hello, landlord. I'm confident my answer will be helpful to you.

I am also a rather quiet person who likes to do things quietly by myself. Many people would also label me as introverted, too quiet, too gentle, etc. I soon discovered that in fact, the people who have these opinions of me don't actually know me. They only see one aspect of me and then define me. I then met other people who really like me because of my quiet, gentle, and gentle demeanor. The same traits that some people don't like seem to be very likeable to others. So you will find that no matter what kind of existence we are, there will always be people who like us and people who don't like us. So why should we change ourselves to please others? It is better to just be yourself, satisfy your own expectations, rather than satisfy the expectations of certain people. Such people will still be liked by some people and disliked by others, but at least you like yourself. Your inner being is harmonious and pleasant. Even if some people don't like you, you can choose to not let it affect you. You can truly present yourself as you are, choose friends with whom you are comfortable, and live a more comfortable life.

My advice to you is this:

You don't have to change yourself to be liked. Be true to yourself and learn to accept and like your true self.

If we change ourselves to be liked, we will always be living up to other people's expectations. We will have no initiative over our own lives, and we will not feel a sense of worth within ourselves, nor will we have high self-esteem or self-confidence.

You're living for other people. What's the point of that?

The movie "Silent Confession" is right: our whole life is about escaping the expectations of others and becoming our true selves.

Indian-Canadian poet Rupi Kaur was right when she said, "We are all born beautiful, and the greatest tragedy is that we slowly listen to others say that we are not."

On the surface, it seems that everyone's life is always defined by others. This is not the case. Parents do not define us by our names. Teachers do not define us by our grades. Leaders do not define us by our achievements. Partners do not define us by our emotions. Society does not define us by its expectations. Friends do not define us by their standards.

So, who are we really? Once we know ourselves and free ourselves from the influence of other people's opinions, we must decide how we will live our lives.

What meaning are you going to give to this rare and fleeting life?

Know yourself. Understand yourself. You know yourself best. They don't know you. They weren't there. They don't understand you. You need to understand yourself. You need to recognize yourself. You don't need everyone's understanding. You need your own understanding.

2. We must define ourselves, not lose ourselves, to be liked.

Knowing who you are is not about judging yourself. It's about taking control of your material nature, humanity, and wisdom so that your material self, emotional self, and spiritual self can all function in an orderly manner and live the way you want.

Knowing who you are is not about denying yourself. It's about embracing your true self and living a richer, more fulfilling life.

Teacher Lin Zi stated, "Over 20 years of experience in psychological counseling has led me to a crucial realization: the reason a person is anxious is because they cannot be with themselves."

If you try to be likeable by changing yourself, it shows you're negative towards yourself. Accept yourself openly, develop your vitality and sensitivity, and you'll naturally attract those who like you and stay away from those who don't.

We cannot be perfect, so we must accept that we cannot make everyone like us, nor can we make others like us all the time. No matter how outstanding you are, there will always be people who like you and people who don't like you. But there is one person who can like you all the time, and that is yourself.

You are the best and most abundant resource a person can become or obtain. The more pleasure you find in yourself, the happier you will be.

We want to be liked so we can establish good relationships with others. But if you suppress your needs to do so, the relationship will be unstable because you will resent it and feel insecure.

We must define ourselves and establish an internal and stable self-evaluation system. We cannot lose ourselves in order to be liked.

3. Learn to approve of yourself. Free yourself from the expectations of others. Become your true self. Reap the rewards of a happy life.

Schopenhauer was right: people are too concerned with how others perceive them. It has nothing to do with our happiness.

Despite this, people often still feel happy about praise from others. Even if the praise is false, he still accepts it, and lies are still welcomed.

People naturally like to be praised by others because it makes them feel recognized. However, we must realize that we long for the love and recognition of others precisely because we ourselves do not love and recognize ourselves enough.

There is a law in psychology: what we lack inside, we seek outside.

Everything outside is unstable, and no one will always recognize you, affirm you, or like you. We also cannot control other people's thoughts and actions. The only thing we can control is our own thoughts and actions.

We must turn inward and recognize, accept, affirm, and grow ourselves. When you like and approve of yourself enough, you won't care about the approval and liking of others.

If you do, fantastic. It's positive feedback and the icing on the cake. If not, that's okay too. You are complete in yourself.

Schopenhauer was right: the happiest state for humans is when we become more and more at one with our true selves, and less and less at one with our desires.

You will free yourself from the expectations of others, become your true self, and reap the rewards of a happy life!