The child, seven years old, argues with teachers at school and refuses to comply; is it a desire for attention?

Hello, Qingxiang here. I'd like to talk to you about this.

I can tell you're worried. What happens to our kids always affects us as parents. You can now sense your child's emotions, reflect on yourself, and see that your child's problems are related to you.

This is rare. Psychology says, "Seeing is the beginning of change."

There's a lot to talk about when it comes to family education. Parents have also grown up, but times have changed. We can only learn how to treat our children in new ways.

The transformation begins with growing up.

In less than two years, I've learned a lot about family education. The parent-child relationship has improved. The child still has problems, but we're no longer worried.

Your child is seven and has problems at school because they don't know how to manage relationships or emotions.

I hope what I know will be helpful.

Emotions are feelings inside us that we show to the outside world.

All definitions of emotions agree that they have three components.

Emotions affect the body. They cause changes like a fast heartbeat or body movements. These are all ways of expressing emotion.

Second, emotions are conscious experiences. Each emotion is real and distinct.

Emotions involve thinking about things and forming attitudes.

There is no such thing as a good or bad emotion.

The basic human emotions are joy, anger, sorrow, and fear.

Emotions are good or bad.

Crying is how kids express emotions. Some parents think crying and anger are bad, so they tell kids not to cry. This is wrong and hurts kids.

When our kids are angry, they won't listen. They won't do their homework.

If you ask him to go out and buy soy sauce, he won't listen. After we calm him down, he'll listen.

—How kids feel

If we understand children's emotions, we can take effective measures. There are two main characteristics of children's emotions:

You can tell what your child is feeling from their face.

Emotions change quickly. As the old saying goes, in June, children's faces change quickly.

It's easy to manage our emotions when the child can cry and laugh immediately afterwards.

How to manage emotions

1) Recognizing emotions

Learn some new words for emotions and talk to your child every day. When helping your child express their feelings, you might have to ask them more than once.

The child doesn't know what he's feeling either. He might say, "I'm annoyed!"

I'm not happy!

These words are too general. Parents can try asking one by one from the list of emotional words.

Ask your child if they are feeling angry, sad, or scared.

If the child knows what he is feeling, parents should encourage him to express it.

2) Understand your child.

It's important to understand your child. Parents may think their child is overreacting to small things.

Parents should understand their children and believe they are really angry or sad.

Don't blame your child. After they understand, they'll calm down.

When parents understand their children, the children feel reassured and will communicate further with them.

Next, we need to fix the problem that made them feel this way.

3) Solve the problem that caused the emotion.

Every negative emotion is caused by a problem. Once the child is calm, we can help them solve the problem.

We encourage kids to solve problems on their own, but parents should help if they need it.

There is a way for children to express themselves between emotions and problems. They can talk about the situation, their feelings, reasons, and needs.

If the child doesn't know this sentence pattern, the parent can say it.

The child did poorly in math.

Mom: I was angry when I saw your math grade. It shows you haven't been studying hard.

I hope you can improve your math grades and get 90 points in the next exam.

Child: I got a bad grade in math, and I'm sad and scared. I did a lot of problems every day, but it didn't help. I'm scared you'll hit me.

I hope you understand and don't hit or scold me.

The child may say the poor exam result was an accident or that they can't do it. No matter what, the goal is to improve their math grades. If they don't know how, parents can suggest ideas like identifying weaknesses, organizing past exam questions, doing more exercises, finding a tutor, taking extra lessons, or asking the math teacher.

Once this problem is solved, negative emotions will disappear.

Three tips:

Use your advantages as a parent.

Experienced parents won't get upset over minor things. They can help their children with their emotional management. They also need to understand that children who are less experienced will be sad even over the loss of a pencil.

Every feeling a child has is justified.

2) Some parents get angry easily.

In this kind of family, children will either be grumpy or timid. This is bad for them. Parents should manage their emotions and create a calm family environment.

Some parents say their kids never listen or talk to them.

Some children are reluctant to communicate with their parents. Encourage your child to make friends and talk to them more to relieve negative emotions. Cherish these days!

There is a lot of content on family education. There are many types of books, including the more common ones. Each of these books has its own characteristics.

There is a lot of content on family education, and there are many types of books. Some of the more common ones are "Positive Discipline," "Parents Are Children's Best Toys," "Nonviolent Communication," and "How to Make Children Listen and Listen to Children." Each has its own characteristics.

Learning and practice go together.

You can also leave me a message on the platform.

I'm Qingxiang. I hope these thoughts and suggestions are helpful.

I love you, world.