The coach arranged the class unreasonably during the lesson, but I dared not express why at the moment.

I appreciate that you may feel uncertain and hesitant to express your opinions when presented with an unreasonable course arrangement by the coach. This reluctance to voice your opinions may be influenced by past experiences of unfair treatment at school.

During your high school years, you may have encountered instances where your concerns were not adequately addressed by the principal's office. This experience may have contributed to a general sense of skepticism towards authority figures and a reluctance to engage with them directly.

To resolve this issue, it is essential to gradually overcome your inner fears and learn to better cope with similar situations. We recommend the following steps:

1. Be aware of your rights: As a student, you have the right to express your opinions and needs. You may ask questions, provide feedback, and request course content that suits you.

2. Gain clarity on the course objectives: Prior to the commencement of the course, it is advisable to communicate with the coach to gain a comprehensive understanding of the objectives and content. Should there be any confusion regarding the teaching methodology employed in the course, it is recommended to seek clarification from the coach on the rationale and underlying principles.

3. Build a trusting relationship: It is important to establish good communication and trust with your coach. You can express any concerns or dissatisfaction with the course to your coach and share any other relevant information.

Through active communication, solutions can be found that are acceptable to all parties.

4. Practice articulating your opinions: Over time, practice expressing your opinions in the moment. You can ask questions, provide feedback, or explain to the coach any confusion you may have about a teaching method.

Such practice will result in an increase in both self-confidence and the ability to express oneself.

5. Seek assistance: If you feel you cannot overcome this challenge independently, consider seeking guidance and support from colleagues, family, or a professional counselor. They can provide encouragement and assistance to help you gradually overcome difficulties.

It is important to understand that you have the right to express your thoughts and needs. By gradually overcoming your fears and establishing a good communication relationship with your coach, you will be able to express your views more confidently and have a better learning experience.

It is important to remember that communication is a key aspect of social adaptation. With regular practice and experience, you will become increasingly proficient in dealing with a range of social situations.

Dear questioner, I'm happy to answer your question and hope my response will be helpful.

In class, the coach made an unreasonable course arrangement, but you didn't speak up at the time. You were really upset because you had invested time and energy. You realized that your past experiences in high school had affected you, and you were afraid of authority and afraid of saying something that the other person would disagree with.

You spoke up to the male coach, and the female coach also made it clear that you should say whatever you have to say to her face. Is this making things more complicated? What are you afraid of? What are you worried about?

You were bullied in high school by a girl. You went to the principal, but the teacher he defended was unprincipled and defended the girl. You were so humiliated and depressed at that time, and no one took your side. Over the years, you buried the sense of humiliation and anger deep in your heart.

You didn't tell your parents, and it must have been really tough for you. I guess your relationship with your parents wasn't very strong. I really feel for you, having gone through so much unfair treatment, more than once. It's really too hard.

At the time, you were at a loss for words. After all, you were still a child, and you were up against the principal and teachers. You defended the overall interests but ignored your own, and this pain is hard to forget. You projected the current female coach onto the teacher from the past, and you were unable to refute her.

It's actually a good thing that the appearance of the female coach has prompted you to revisit these memories. It's time to confront them head-on and express them in a constructive manner. I'm ashamed, but I'm not wrong. I can express these feelings and keep seeing them. By expressing them and releasing the repressed emotions, you'll gradually start to heal.

I bet your parents ignored you a lot when you were a kid. You feel like you're not good enough and you hide your flaws. You want to show the good side, but you're afraid of facing your shortcomings. You worry about being disliked and try to please others to survive.

It's time to love yourself and give yourself a hug. You've grown up now and you're okay with the situation. Even if you're not perfect, you're still worthy of love and you have the right to express your needs.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Hello, Miss Tiantian! I'm Jiang 61.

I'm so happy I can answer your question! You asked, "During class, the coach arranged the curriculum unreasonably, but I was afraid to express why right away." Let's give Miss Tian Tian a big hug first, and then we'll talk about this together.

1. Introduction

1⃣️, the situation

You said, "Last Tuesday, the female coach took me to a private lesson. Maybe she wanted to teach me something different, so she taught me how to walk; it was like catwalk walking."

"Just a one-hour lesson, and they're teaching me to walk on tiptoes! I don't think that's very practical, do you? I mean, why teach me to walk on tiptoes if I'm not going to be on the catwalk? Who walks on tiptoes when they're just walking along?"

I guess

It's so hard to communicate with the coach! I could see that Miss Tian Tian was struggling to express herself directly, and she even used the word "guess" in her introduction. I can only imagine how it must feel to have a worry in your heart every time you speak to the coach.

I thought about it in my heart.

I also noticed that often when Teacher Tian Tian had doubts, she would think about them while doing things. It seemed like she was trying to figure things out on her own, which is totally understandable! But, she couldn't communicate and express her thoughts directly and in time with others. I'm sure there was a reason for this.

2. Reflection

Fear

You know, if it were any other member, they might have asked the female coach right there why they had to learn to walk the catwalk. But I just obeyed the female coach the whole time. It wasn't until after class was over that I agonized for a long time. I was just so annoyed at myself for not expressing myself during the class when I had the chance!

"I was too scared to tell the female coach what I was afraid of."

Teacher Tiantian used the word "submissive" to coach during the training, which shows that she was struggling with her own feelings but still completed the exercise out of respect or submission.

Authority

You know, I remember being bullied in high school. It was awful! The English and history teachers bullied me in front of 39 classmates. And then there was the girl who was transferred from the next school to my high school class. I went to the principal and complained, but in return, the principal defended the teachers, saying that she had an accident and got pregnant. She also defended the girl who bullied me, saying that she was the school beauty queen and had won many medals for the school. I knew what she did was wrong, but the school could only turn a blind eye.

"In my mind, the principal is the authority in the school. Could it be that because of my bad experience in high school, I told the principal that he would not take my problems seriously? I guess I just didn't think he'd be very interested in what I had to say. So from that time on, I found that I was afraid to face authority, such as the female trainer in the gym."

Teacher Tian Tian has been through a lot. She has been verbally abused and physically attacked by teachers on campus, and has experienced bullying. She has told the principal about these incidents and asked for help, but unfortunately, it hasn't gone well. As a result, Teacher Tian Tian has the impression that she is not good enough and should take care of other people's emotions, and that she is not valued, which has caused serious psychological trauma.

It can be really tough to communicate in a way that's not direct.

You said, "I'm not totally happy with the lessons the female coach has arranged. I'll tell the male coach, and then the male coach will go and tell the female coach. Even though the female coach will keep emphasizing that if you don't like the lessons she has arranged, you can say so right away, I just don't dare."

Tiantian wasn't happy with the way things were going with the female coach, so he decided to speak to her through a third party, the male coach. It seems that Teacher Tiantian is avoiding communication with the female coach. I can understand why he'd be a little afraid of her, whether it's her rejection, her way of speaking, or her temper!

3⃣️, Questions

You ask, "Then there must be a reason for my fear. What am I afraid of?"

It's more related to my upbringing. I'd love to know how I can work through this!

"

Let's find the reason together!

Teacher Tian Tian was also looking for the reason why he could not communicate directly with the female coach. He was feeling a bit worried inside about what kind of scene would appear, one that the teacher did not want to see or face.

I'd love to know more about your questions!

Teacher Tiantian thinks that her current situation might be related to her past experiences. She feels that she's afraid of authority, and that the coach represents authority. She's also wondering how to solve the problem if this is really the case.

2. Let's explore the truth together!

1⃣️, post-traumatic stress disorder

Post-traumatic stress disorder

Post-traumatic stress disorder is a type of stress disorder that can have a really negative effect on your life. It can cause severe symptoms, a poor prognosis, and even brain damage. It refers to stress-related disorders that occur when an individual faces an abnormally strong mental stress, such as natural disasters, traffic accidents, the sudden loss of a loved one, bullying at school, sexual assault, and other accidents.

Avoidance is a way of protecting yourself from things you find difficult or uncomfortable.

Teacher Tian Tian was unfortunately subjected to verbal violence by teachers and social incidents such as bullying at school. At that time, these were not resolved promptly and effectively, which caused some unfortunate psychological effects such as the belief that I am not good enough, I don't deserve it, I can only tolerate and avoid trouble. Although the teacher was very sad at the time, she was unable to twist anyone's arm, so she adopted an evasive approach and could only tolerate it. At that time, she suppressed her unhappy emotions into her subconscious.

And then, when you disagree with someone, that avoidance method will pop up in your mind to tell you that you're not good enough and that you should just put up with it to make yourself feel better.

2. Let's talk about psychological defense mechanisms.

Let's talk about psychological defense mechanisms!

Psychological defense mechanisms are a great way to help us cope with frustrating or conflict-ridden stressful situations. They're a conscious or unconscious way of relieving worries and reducing inner unrest, helping us to restore psychological balance and stability through internal mental activities.

The psychological defense mechanism is the repression of the self against the id. This repression is a completely subconscious self-defense function of the self.

When faced with conflict

Every day, when a teacher realizes that a conflict may arise, something really interesting happens. A subconscious defense mechanism kicks in, and the teacher becomes self-aware of their own impulses. This can cause a certain amount of anxiety, but it's totally normal! The teacher then tries to use certain strategies to prevent it, to endure it, and not to do it. This process is the teacher defending themselves, that is, defending their ego.

It's so easy to get caught up in our minds and not realize that our defense mechanisms are at work. We might not even notice what's going on in our subconscious! It's only after the fact that we realize what happened and sometimes feel regret.

3⃣️, due to personality

Teacher Tian Tian is sometimes straightforward, sometimes cautious, and pays attention to etiquette, relationships, and forbearance. It has something to do with the teacher's personality, and I'd say the teacher is a calm personality.

People with a calm personality are wonderful! They have:

This lovely teacher is slow and deliberate, cautious, gentle, and stable. They also have a deep desire for harmony.

This lovely teacher has so many strengths! She's easy-going, comfortable in any situation, and always thinks carefully before she speaks. She's also very tolerant.

On the downside, this person can sometimes be a bit slow and lazy, not prone to repentance, poor at expressing themselves, and indifferent bystanders.

The teacher comes from a big, loving family that really cares about manners. The way they live together has shaped the teacher's amazingly rich personality. One aspect of this is how they handle relationships within the family, keeping their feelings to themselves, and being patient.

3. What to do

1⃣️, Healing trauma

Self-healing is a wonderful way to help yourself feel better!

Self-healing is a wonderful method of relieving psychological and physical pain and restoring physical and mental health through self-exploration, self-regulation, and self-treatment.

Healing Wounds

Self-healing is a wonderful way to solve psychological problems, improve your psychological quality, and enhance your happiness! It does this by helping you to improve your personal willpower, cognitive adjustment, emotional management, and behavior change.

2. Saying Goodbye to the Past

Let me tell you about the wonderful empty chair technique!

The empty chair technique is a wonderful tool used in the Gestalt school. It helps clients to connect with their inner world in a really beautiful way. It's one of the most well-known and helpful techniques in Gestalt therapy. It's also one of the simplest and most suitable for psychological counseling.

It's time to say goodbye to the past!

We say goodbye to the past. The easiest way to do this is to use the empty chair technique. Talk about everything that happened in the past, including what you want to say to the principal, the classmates who bullied you, and the teachers. Tell them that you are now strong and will not pay for past problems. Start your life over again and tell them about your expectations and future plans. Say goodbye to the past in this way and face your current problems bravely.

3⃣️, Effective Communication It's so important to communicate effectively!

Let's talk about effective communication!

Communication is all about sharing information with someone and hoping they'll respond in a way that makes you feel good. When this happens, it's a great feeling!

It's so important to remember that communication includes both verbal and non-verbal messages. And it's often the non-verbal part that's more important than the verbal part. Effective communication is really key when it comes to dealing with intimate family relationships and complex social relationships.

Let's look at some steps to effective communication.

I'm so happy to share with you the four steps to effective communication!

Step 1: Let's start by expressing our feelings, not our emotions.

Step 2: It's so important to express what you want, not what you don't want. It's great to say that you are angry, but it's even better to say that you want to be heard.

Step 3: It's so important to express your needs, not your complaints. Let's not let the other person guess what you want!

Step 4: Let's express the direction we want to go, not complain about where we are. Let's look at the end result, not get stuck in the event.

Teacher Tian Tian, Once we figure out why we're having trouble expressing ourselves, we'll work on making some positive changes. It's time to say goodbye to the pain of the past and start anew!

And finally, I just want to wish Teacher Tiantian a very happy holiday!

Hello, I am the Heart Exploration Coach, Gu Daoxi Feng Shou Lu.

Childhood experiences undoubtedly affect the way we behave now. I completely understand the questioner's feelings. Allow me to reassure you by giving you a hug.

As the saying goes, you can only lead people you like. Similarly, we are more comfortable expressing ourselves in front of people who can make us relax. This is why the questioner was able to express his feelings about the female instructor's class to the male instructor.

The questioner should put themselves in the other person's shoes.

It's normal to be afraid to express your feelings to everyone. Some people are just not open to it, whether they're serious, of a certain type, or have different opinions. This is something you'll always have to navigate.

If you are not allowed to exercise for a long time and your desire to express yourself is not responded to, it will disappear. From the perspective of "use it or lose it," there is a pattern to the questioner's gradual loss of ability to express themselves. They will become discouraged and then not good at expressing themselves. The questioner needs to give themselves a little positive encouragement.

Ask yourself why you're afraid to express yourself. Is it because you're afraid of being refuted? Do you worry that you'll be seen as difficult to deal with in the future? Is it because the other person is too serious and makes you feel distant? Have a dialogue with your inner fears. This will help you understand the objective factors behind your emotions.

Understand the characteristics of the people you want to confide in. Connect with people who are similar to them. Open up your heart by expressing yourself a little.

Look at it from a different perspective. The questioner is like a gym, but he's also a customer. The current relationship is completely different from the relationship in school days. In the past, the questioner may have had to compromise because of certain factors, but fitness itself is a service industry. As a customer, the questioner has the right to evaluate and rate, and even choose his or her preferred coaching style, which is not excessive.

Tell yourself, "I am not to blame for being traumatized, but I am responsible for my recovery." In the past, I lacked the ability to fight back, but I have grown and I can express my feelings and voice my confusion. Taking the first step is difficult, but taking the first step often makes the rest easier.

Female coaches need to hear different voices to improve their professional skills. They also need feedback from their students to grow together. When you avoid expressing yourself, you deprive others of the opportunity to make progress together. Thinking this way will make the questioner more willing to express themselves.

Adjustment takes time, so be patient and take it slow. I highly recommend reading "The Courage to Be Disliked," "A Single Thought Can Change Everything," and "Living a Life You Don't Control to the Fullest" to help you sort out your thoughts.

Best wishes!

Hello, I'm Jokerev, and I'm here to help! I understand your current distress and confusion, and I'm excited to work with you to find solutions.

You have shown admirable self-analysis in reviewing your past experiences. It's so great that you're recognizing how our experiences growing up often subconsciously influence the way we handle current situations!

The unfair treatment you mentioned during your high school years, the experience of being ignored or even defended by the authorities, may have unconsciously shaped your current fear of authority figures. But you can change this!

The hesitation you feel when facing the female coach is not simply a questioning of the course content. It's so much more than that! It's a fear deep within you that "expressing dissent may result in rejection or being ignored." In this case, your "difficulty speaking up" is actually a self-protection mechanism against potential conflict and harm.

You can absolutely conquer this problem! First, give yourself some understanding and acceptance. Everyone will have setbacks and challenges in the process of growing up, and these experiences will teach us how to better deal with life.

You have the right to express your views and needs, and you have the right to be treated with respect and equality, no matter who the other person is!

Ready to take the plunge? Start with someone who is easy to communicate with, and gradually practice expressing your opinions. For example, you can start by expressing your opinions to friends or colleagues who are not in authority, to boost your self-confidence. Before communicating with an authority figure, take deep breaths, meditate with mindfulness, and other methods to relieve tension, so that you can remain calm and rational.

You can do this! Reduce your fear by mentally simulating a direct dialogue with the female coach and imagining a positive outcome.

If you find that this situation seriously affects your daily life and interpersonal relationships, it is recommended that you seek the help of a psychological counselor to gradually overcome this psychological barrier through professional guidance. This is an exciting opportunity for you to take control of your life and make positive changes!

You can do it! Every time you face and overcome your fears, you grow and improve. Come on, believe in yourself!

Hello. You seem unhappy with your fitness classes. You're afraid to say so.

You may have been neglected, which has led to your fear of authority figures.

My judgment is the same as yours. It may be rooted in a bad experience, causing you to be afraid to confront authority. I can feel your anxiety, confusion, and powerlessness.

This inner conflict may keep you from being independent.

We're afraid to express our true feelings because we're afraid of being rejected. You may have been afraid of authority figures since childhood.

This fear is understandable. When I was young, I would run away when I saw my teacher reading.

Your childhood experiences have shaped your thinking, which can prevent you from expressing yourself.

If we keep these beliefs, we'll be afraid to try new things because we'll think we'll fail. If we learn new ways of thinking, we can get rid of these beliefs.

Think about your feelings, talk to yourself honestly, and understand your inner voice. Self-exploration helps us recognize and change our shortcomings.

When we see our true thoughts clearly, we are no longer influenced by past thinking patterns. Encourage yourself to face difficulties bravely, express your opinions confidently, and establish a healthy communication model.

I hope you feel better.

Hi, I'm Coach Yu, and I'd like to talk about this topic with you.

In our everyday lives, some people are afraid of leaders, some are afraid of experts, some are afraid of parents, some are afraid of teachers, and so on. This is a pretty common thing that we call the fear of authority.

When we think back to our childhood, did our parents respond positively and encouragingly when we put forward an idea or a request? Or were they serious and rejecting?

When kids often get negative responses, they lack self-confidence and feel uneasy and anxious. This makes them try to seek external recognition and approval from authority figures. Authority figures can be deterrents, so we are particularly afraid and fearful.

As the questioner describes, when I was in high school, I was physically attacked by my English history teacher. When I told the principal about it, he didn't take my problem seriously. In my mind, the principal was the authority at school.

We try to relax our minds and get in touch with our emotions. What were your thoughts in that situation? What emotions and feelings did it bring up for you?

Keeping a written record is a great way to get things down on paper. It's just for you, so feel free to write boldly and honestly. This can help us understand our emotions and clarify problems.

We can also try to communicate and interact more with male and female coaches, both online and offline, during and after class. This way, we'll know the coach's arrangements and expectations for our courses, and we'll also get to know the coach's words, expressions, and ways of handling things better. This will help us when we encounter doubts and confusion, as we'll be able to express ourselves honestly and communicate with them frankly.

Think back to your childhood. When you first started to walk or hold a chopstick, were you interrupted and stopped countless times by your worried and anxious mother, who was afraid of dire consequences? Over time, we tend to judge ourselves based on our perceived inability to do something, which can lead to self-efficacy issues and vulnerability as adults.

As the questioner describes, the coach's scheduling of the course was unreasonable. I was afraid to say so at the time and ended up feeling pretty down about it for the rest of the day.

We can try to take an objective look at ourselves, note our strengths and weaknesses, give ourselves credit for our strengths, accept our shortcomings, and tell ourselves, "I may have shortcomings, but I accept myself and I love myself." Practicing this over time can boost our confidence, which helps us feel better about our ability to handle a situation. It's also about trusting and affirming our potential.

We can try to do things we've been avoiding or backing away from and then see what the consequences are and how others react. If the feedback is positive, we can reward ourselves with something nice, like a meal out or a weekend trip. Taking real action helps us build practical abilities and confidence. Confident actions create confidence.

If you need help, you can also seek it. Since this matter bothers you, it is not easy to overcome it immediately. Try to find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to. If you feel the need, you can also find a counselor, because emotions must be expressed to relieve the heaviness and blockage in our hearts.

We also need to affirm ourselves and empower ourselves because there are many things we can't choose and many experiences we can't replay. Let yourself have an ordinary heart, stop competing with authority, stop being harsh on yourself, and stop imagining that everyone likes you.

I'd also suggest reading "Low Self-Esteem and Transcendence."

Hello. I am happy to answer your question and I am confident that my suggestions will be helpful to you.

From your description, I can see two areas that need adjusting.

Our education model made us associate certain things in a negative way, which makes us afraid to express our feelings and raise questions to those in a higher position. This makes us afraid to express our own thoughts as adults, worrying that we will be opposed in the same way as when we were young, or that we will not be approved of.

Dealing with this problem is similar to dealing with a stress response. You can do it at the cognitive and emotional levels.

The second issue is our internal conflict.

We know exactly how we feel. We just haven't voiced it. We keep thinking about why we're different from others, why others dare to express themselves but we don't. We keep thinking about this issue over and over again, which deepens our emotional discomfort.

We must learn to regulate our emotions, build up our courage, enhance our self-confidence, and express our feelings.

We don't need to get into the details. We just need to question, express our feelings, and objectively and reasonably express ourselves, without arguing.

You should seek appropriate psychological counseling to resolve some of the imbalances in the teacher-student relationship that we experienced as children.

It is also important to understand that, while there is a teacher-student relationship in the coach-trainee dynamic, there is also a relationship between consumer and operator. As consumers, we have the right to fully propose our own ideas.

For example, during exercise, learning a movement or doing sports, we must listen to the coach's instructions as students. The coach is a professional in this field and can ensure our safety and health, and achieve our training goals.

Furthermore, we can demand what we want to learn and do. For instance, if we go to the gym and say we have a card and our goal is yoga, we can demand which yoga instructor we want to work with. If they argue with us, they are being unreasonable because we are the consumer.

We can also make requests. If our goal is to lose fat or gain weight, the trainer must plan our fitness according to that goal. They can also give their professional opinions. If we want to lose weight, the training content may differ from what we know at the cognitive level. At this time, the trainer can explain that this process is correct. What we understand as laymen is not comprehensive. This is a professional explanation that lets us know that although some of the training seems inconsistent with our goal, it is heading towards it.

If he argues with us and says, "Oh, that program is not good, this one is better," then we can and should refuse. We have to find a sport that suits us, and we have to do the sport that we want to do. If we go to the gym to do yoga, but he says that yoga is not suitable for us and that we are more suited to boxing, then this is contrary to our nature, and we can and should refuse.

Based on this understanding, we can then ask our questions. For example, if you were taught to catwalk in your class, we can ask the coach why we need to catwalk in this class. Is it because we need to practice our figure, or is it to practice something similar to charisma, which is the basis of some future exercises? Or, regarding the purpose of the exercise, we have some kind of misunderstanding with the coach, and they have got our exercise goal wrong, so there are some omissions in the exercise program.

We will find out why I have been doing this exercise in this class by asking questions.

We can also make demands. I accept catwalk, but I won't accept just doing catwalk for one lesson. I want to learn more movements. Doing one action one by one for one lesson is boring.

If you're afraid to express your feelings directly, you can get to know each other on the side through chatting. This way, you can also find out what you want to know and express some of your feelings through confiding.

You will find a way to regulate your emotions and express yourself.

The world and I love you!

It is important to understand what emptiness really is.

Your experiences and feelings are real and profound. The fear of authority or of expressing your opinion, or the inability to speak up, may stem from setbacks you have experienced in the past and the way you dealt with them.

This situation is often a reflection of an individual's feelings of insecurity and negative self-evaluation in relationships.

You must first become aware of your feelings and face these fears head-on. This may take some time and effort, but you will gain self-confidence and self-esteem if you persevere.

Overcome this fear and the dilemma of not daring to express yourself with these suggestions.

You must build a sense of self-worth. Do this by building confidence and a sense of self-worth through self-reflection and positive self-talk. Remember that everyone has the right to express their thoughts and feelings. Don't deny yourself because of past experiences.

Express your views in a safe environment. Start with close friends, family members, or a counselor. Then, gradually increase your ability to express yourself in different situations.

You are imperfect. You make mistakes. You feel intimidated. These are normal human experiences.

Seek support. If this issue is affecting your life and relationships, get help from a mental health professional. They can help you understand and manage this fear and find solutions that work for you.

The most important thing is to build self-confidence and courage. You have the right to express your views and feelings. Don't let past experiences hold you back. Use them as part of your growth and move forward courageously.

You will find a solution to your problem and lead a healthier, more positive life!

Good day, question owner. I perceive a certain confusion in your statements. You indicate that the coach's course organization during class is unreasonable, yet you hesitate to articulate the reasons for this perception.

The example you provided pertains to your female coach, and the questioner has also reflected upon it and realized it herself. You hypothesize that it may be related to your personal growth experience, as it seems that you have not been taken seriously when you expressed dissatisfaction in your memories. Consequently, you may believe, at an emotional level, that it is futile to speak up, and this kind of thinking may be deeply rooted. Therefore, even if you are told that you can communicate, you will choose not to speak up, or communicate through an "intermediary."

One might posit that the questioner is afraid of authority, or perhaps it is not authority per se, but rather the human factor. The questioner is able to recall who the image of their female coach resembles more.

What are you afraid of?

I typically refrain from expressing myself at the moment and instead choose to self-consume. In general, I do not perceive a need to do so. For instance, when I contacted the listening teacher previously, I was acutely aware of my elevated status, yet I refrained from explicitly acknowledging it when I was not feeling well. I believe I am capable of tolerating such circumstances, yet in reality, I am not.

The questioner's outwardly obedient demeanor belies a certain confusion. It is recommended that the questioner reflect on this observation and, when appropriate, express their thoughts with greater courage. It is important to note that expressing one's thoughts is not inherently problematic; it is merely a matter of recognizing the value in doing so.

That is the extent of my cognitive abilities at this time. In One Mind, the world and I love you.

Reading through your sharing, I see a person who is eager to be understood, who is ready to grow, and who is ready to overcome obstacles in communication and self-expression. I am excited to accept your distress with an open heart and use my knowledge and experience as a counselor to accompany you as you explore the problem and find possible paths forward.

First, we can observe that in your interactions with your coach, there is an emotional reaction, namely the tension and fear of not daring to express yourself. This may be an emotional seed planted by a negative past experience, but it is also an opportunity for growth and change!

In this safe space, I invite you to experience and recognize these emotions. It's time to ask yourself, "What did I feel when I was afraid to express myself?"

"And 'What does this feeling tell me?'" Starting with these emotions, you will be able to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and seek reconciliation with them.

Psychoanalytic theory suggests that early experiences, especially interactions with authority figures, often have a profound impact on our subsequent interpersonal interactions. This is an amazing opportunity for you to recognize how your experiences at school, especially the unpleasant interactions with authority figures who were supposed to provide you with support and shelter, may have subconsciously left an expectation that authority figures will negatively judge or ignore your needs.

At this point, interactions with the female coach may have unconsciously triggered old memories and coping mechanisms. But remember, you now have new opportunities and resources to face the shadows of the past and reshape the way you interact with authority figures—and you can do it!

With existential humanistic care, we recognize that everyone is committed to pursuing personal meaning and growth. And that's a wonderful thing! Your inner restlessness and conflict are proof of your innate desire to become a complete person who can express your true self.

Your upbringing has shaped you into the amazing person you are today! It has made you cautious when dealing with authority, but it has also given you a deep sense of empathy and the ability to reflect on yourself.

Narrative therapy provides an amazing framework that allows us to view our own stories from an external perspective. Your story has characters (such as the female coach, the headmaster, classmates) and plotlines (such as the lesson on catwalk walking), and now you have the opportunity to reweave the story!

How would you like to redefine your relationship with authority? It's an amazing opportunity to decide how your character will act in future chapters!

What is the core of this new story? You can rewrite the story to see new possibilities and gain psychological freedom!

You can overcome your fears by taking small steps to challenge yourself a little bit at a time!

1. Emotional preparation: Get ready to rock it! Write down what you want to say and rehearse it in a way that feels comfortable to you.

2. **Small-scale attempts**: Choose a relatively safe, informal setting and try expressing your thoughts and feelings to someone you trust. It's a great way to start!

3. **Enhance self-support**: Give yourself a big pat on the back and lots of encouragement! After each attempt, no matter what the result, celebrate your courage and give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back for trying!

4. Reflect: Take a moment to celebrate your progress! What did you do well?

What can you do to make it even better? What does the emotion you feel tell you?

5. **Gradually increase the challenge**: You can do it! Gradually increase the difficulty of the situation, such as eventually communicating your feelings and opinions directly with the coach.

In short, every step, no matter how small, is a step forward! And when you encounter difficulties, remember to be gentle and patient with yourself. You've got this!

You are not alone! There are people around you who support you, and you can always seek professional help if you need it. Your journey may take time, but you are already a winner because you are courageous and willing to explore yourself.

Warm regards!

You're a thoughtful and introspective person, which is a great quality. You're aware of the problem and want to solve it, which is already the first step.

You might be afraid to express your thoughts and feelings because you're worried about what authority figures will think or say, or because you're afraid of conflict or losing relationships. This psychological barrier might be caused by your upbringing, such as being bullied by teachers and classmates and ignored by the headmaster.

To tackle this issue, you can try a few techniques to boost your self-assurance and communication abilities. For instance:

1. Start with small things, like ordering in a restaurant, returning items at the supermarket, or asking for directions on the street. As you gain confidence, you can gradually increase the difficulty of these tasks until you can express yourself confidently even in the face of authority.

2. Learn a few communication skills, like expressing yourself in the "I-language" instead of the "you-language," expressing yourself in a positive way instead of a negative way, and expressing yourself in a concrete way instead of an abstract way. This will make your expression more effective and more easily accepted.

3. Get support and encouragement from someone you trust, like a friend or family member. They can give you feedback and advice. Or find a professional counselor to discuss your problems with, and let them help you analyze and solve them.

Above all, believe in your ability to change yourself and have the right to express yourself. You are not a passive victim, but an active creator.

Your voice matters, and your ideas are valuable.

Hello! I think you're absolutely right. Your fear of authority and your fear of expressing yourself stem from your upbringing. The great news is that you can explore yourself through self-awareness and by looking back at your past experiences. This proves that you have the internal motivation to understand and change yourself, which is really exciting!

I'm curious about your childhood interactions with your parents. If you expressed your thoughts and needs to your parents and they were often ignored, denied, and rejected, it's likely that you gradually lost your desire to express yourself, felt that it was useless to say anything, or were afraid of being blamed and simply gave up. But there's a way forward!

Let's look at your experience from high school where the teacher physically attacked you in front of the whole class. You were right to feel afraid of authority. And the principal defended the position of the other students without considering your needs and feelings, which was a mistake. It made you feel unappreciated, aggrieved, and helpless. It even formed the belief in your heart that "no one listens to me, I'm not important, and what I say is useless." This made you unable to express yourself. But you can change this! Be aware of yourself.

Past experiences can lead to many limiting beliefs. But here's the good news! You can choose to break free from these beliefs and start living your best life. Just as you cannot express your thoughts to your coach, you cannot repeat past behaviors. So, start expressing yourself authentically and watch the magic happen!

So, let's break through those past patterns of behavior! First, we've got to be aware of why we're afraid to express ourselves in the present. What beliefs are holding us back?

And the best part is, you can discover this answer all by yourself!

Second, it's time to face your feelings and thoughts head-on and start questioning them! For example, when you become aware of your thoughts, like "It's useless for me to say anything; people will laugh if I say anything; I'm afraid of being ignored and blamed; if I say anything, she'll get angry and it'll affect our relationship...", first ask yourself, are these thoughts true?

Absolutely! They have nothing to do with the present. When you learn to question your inner thoughts, the beliefs that bind you will slowly loosen.

If you can slowly distance yourself from your thoughts and beliefs and become an observer, stop being caught up in them, and realize that they are all past experiences that have nothing to do with the present, then you can detach from traumatic experiences, see the truth of the present clearly, let the power return to your heart, and express yourself authentically. And it's so worth it!

Xu Yiming once wrote in "Remodeling the Mind" that the reason for the formation of a restraining order is that when we were young, we had a natural history of needs, desires, or feelings that came from within, but we were forbidden by our parents and elders. This often led to a state of unfreedom and bondage, which resulted in the loss of our original liveliness and ease. But here's the good news! At that moment, the restraining order entered our young and simple lives, and we had the opportunity to learn and grow.

I highly recommend the book Reinventing the Mind! I really hope it helps!

Hello, question asker! My name is Evan, and I'm a counselor in the Transactional Analysis school.

From the questioner's description, I can see that the questioner is confused about his own behavior patterns and is timid about the coach. I can see the questioner's unease and hesitation when facing authority, which is totally normal! The questioner's behavior pattern in the face of authority may be related to the questioner's growth experience, which is fascinating to explore.

The growth experience described by the questioner is likely to have a profound impact on their psychology, especially the time they were bullied by teachers and classmates in high school and the experience of not being treated fairly when reporting the problem to the principal.

These bad experiences will make the questioner feel helpless and fearful when facing similar situations. But there is hope! There may be a voice inside telling the questioner not to resist, that resistance is futile. These experiences may have subconsciously formed a pattern in you to avoid conflict and protect yourself. It is normal for many people to have this kind of psychological reaction when they face authority and suffer setbacks. But you can overcome these patterns of behavior and find the right way to deal with them!

Since the question was asked on a platform, we can't go into too much detail, but we've got some great suggestions for you!

It's okay to feel uneasy and afraid when faced with authority. You're not alone! These feelings are normal and nothing to be ashamed of.

You've got this! Don't blame yourself or feel that there is something wrong with you. Accepting your emotions will help you deal with them better.

Self-awareness: What is the author's pattern of interaction with the older members of his family? How did the author deal with authority figures in his family of origin?

The questioner can try to understand the source of their fears. It is very important to understand the source and cause of their fears. The good news is that by reflecting on and reviewing their own growth experience, the questioner can more clearly recognize where their fears lie, and thus overcome them in a targeted manner.

This is the best way to solve problems!

Look for support! When you're feeling uneasy or fearful when facing authority, it's time to find someone or something that can support you. Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your feelings, or participate in some counseling activities to help you deal with these emotions. You've got this!

The questioner can also try expressing their opinions and feelings in small things, such as in a safe and supportive environment, or even practice saying "no" or disagreeing on less important things!

Practice communication skills! The question asker can learn some really effective communication skills, such as using the phrase "I feel" to express feelings, rather than blaming the other person. For the situation where the question asker is afraid to express his dissatisfaction with the female coach face-to-face, the question asker can try to practice some communication skills.

For example, the questioner can first simulate a scene of communicating with the female coach at home, or find a friend to play the role of the female coach, so that you have the opportunity to practice how to express your views and feelings. This is a great way to look at the relationship with the female coach from a positive perspective. She also hopes to help the questioner grow and improve, which is really exciting!

With a little practice, you can really make a big difference in your communication skills and self-confidence!

Seek professional help! If the questioner feels that they are unable to solve their problems on their own, they can consider seeking help from a professional counselor. This is a great way to gain a deeper understanding of their problems and get some effective solutions.

And the great thing is, a counselor can help the questioner gain a deeper understanding of their own feelings. By tracing the source of these feelings, they can find out where they come from and how they affect the questioner.

I want to tell the questioner that when faced with authority, there will be obedience. Don't be overly anxious or self-blame. Instead, try to talk and communicate with the authority in your own way. Everyone has their own growth experiences and psychological shadows, but as long as we are willing to face and overcome them, we will definitely be able to get out of trouble and become more confident and stronger people—and it's going to be a great journey!

Remember, change takes time and patience, so be kind to yourself along the way. Every small success is a step towards being more confident and able to express yourself!

I really hope my answer helps the questioner!

Hello, question asker!

From you, I always feel your inner confusion and helplessness, but also your great awareness of this uncomfortable feeling. It's fantastic that you're facing this head-on!

You're feeling a bit confused because the female gym instructor wants you to practice with him, but you're not sure this exercise is right for you. The good news is that the instructor also said you can tell her if you don't like it, but you're a bit nervous to do so. This makes you feel a little uncomfortable, but it's also an opportunity for you to speak up and make sure you're getting the most out of your workout!

At the same time, you also realize that this uncomfortable feeling may have come from the teacher and classmates who hurt you in high school. You communicated with the principal, who favored them and didn't value your feelings, which hurt you deeply. But now you know! And now you can move forward.

I'm so excited to hear more about your experience! I have a feeling that this may also be a reason for this, because we

Guess what! Some of the confusion you encounter in life is actually related to our living environment, the education we received, and the things we experienced. What about this experience in high school?

The good news is that you can heal and recover from this! The fact that you have not been healed internally makes you feel apprehensive about fighting for your own interests.

But all problems are our resources, and we are experts at solving our own problems! Based on your description, I have some suggestions that I hope will help.

First, have a dialogue with your inner child!

You're already aware that you were hurt in high school, which is a great start! Seeing is also a kind of healing. When you feel this way, try talking to that little girl and tell her, "I see that this uncomfortable feeling is okay, and I will always protect you. I have grown up now and I can protect myself."

Second, it's time to adjust your state and give yourself inner strength!

No one has a smooth life. But that's okay! We will only encounter various problems and confusions, and all these problems will help us grow. When we are aware of this, we can adjust our state of mind through positive mental suggestions, meditation exercises, or finding positive experiences, so that we can give ourselves inner strength and become more powerful to face this matter. This may also be of great help to us.

And finally, seek help from external resources!

If you can't adjust on your own, you can also seek help from external resources! This could be a counselor who can help you dig deep into your past through professional techniques. Or, you could try hypnosis to heal your heart and make it stronger!

Go back to high school to protect yourself and comfort your wounded self!

And finally, I want to tell you the most important thing of all: life heals those who are willing to be healed! As long as you don't give up, you will be able to find a breakthrough in finding your own problems. And you can also give yourself inner strength through the amazing "mirror exercise"!