The more pressure there is, the more you want to check your phone. What should you do if you don't want to be occupied by your phone too much?

Good morning, my name is Coach Yu, and I would like to discuss this topic with you.

I would like to take a moment to recall a thought from Mr. Mu Xin's "Once Upon a Time." He observed that in the past, days and events unfolded at a slower pace, allowing for a deeper connection with those around us. He believed that a lifetime was sufficient to love and know one person fully.

In today's fast-paced world, it's not uncommon to feel that time seems to fly by and the years never stop. It often feels as if the world has been put on fast-forward, with the ability to watch movies at double speed, refresh web pages, and take photos instantly.

It seems that we have lost the ability to slow down, which may have contributed to the rise in impatience that we are seeing in society. Just like the girl who is addicted to her phone, if her boyfriend in a relationship doesn't reply to her message within five seconds, she may feel a sense of urgency.

Society is evolving, and there is a growing concern that if we don't take advantage of this opportunity, if we don't get promoted this time, because we always feel that others are advancing, we might be left behind by society.

Perhaps it could be said that we often use fragmented time to read articles, in case we miss some knowledge point, and then we're told by our friends that we're out of touch. It could be that when we pursue our goals, it's as if we're giving ourselves inner peace of mind: "I'm trying hard, I'm fulfilled."

It is worth noting that impatience and fear of abandonment can both contribute to feelings of anxiety, which in turn can suppress positive emotions. It is possible that each emotion may be the result of an unmet need. For instance, we may feel sad when we miss an opportunity for a promotion or raise, or we may feel angry when we lose a treasured possession that we have had for many years.

Perhaps we should ask ourselves what we might be doing wrong. What are we sad about?

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider what our hearts truly desire after work.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what kind of person I want to be to make myself happy and keep myself healthy.

We might consider trying to distract ourselves by silencing and putting away our phones, putting them somewhere relatively far away. We could play a piece of classical music to help calm our minds with soothing music. We could also go out into nature to feel the tranquility and magic of the primordial ecology, be optimistic about life, and create positive emotions. These might be considered the first elements of happiness and health.

It might be helpful to focus on our interests and hobbies, creating a state of flow. Perhaps we could remember the saying, "Don't be obsessed with the result, but be passionate about the process."

It might be helpful to consider spending more time with friends, joining supportive groups, and cultivating good interpersonal relationships.

It may be helpful to set ourselves both short-term goals and long-term ideals, and to pursue the value and meaning of life.

It may be helpful to give ourselves encouragement at the right time, for example when we achieve a small goal. This can help us to feel successful and to develop in a positive way.

It might also be helpful to talk to a family member or friend you trust who has always given you positive support. If you feel it would be beneficial, you could also consider speaking with a counselor, as emotions can often be relieved by having an outlet to express them.

At the same time, we can allow ourselves the occasional feeling of anxiety, accepting it and working to improve it at our own pace. It is important to respect your own rhythm.

I would like to suggest the book Know Thyself, Accept Thyself as a recommended read.

Hi, I'm happy you've asked for help, and I hope my sharing gives you something to think about.

I can see how you feel about this "old problem." Many people can relate to your frustration and helplessness. This is probably a common experience for many "working people."

We all wish we could make better use of our time after work. We wish we could rest well, exercise, cook, and sort out our emotions. We also wish we could control the time we spend on our phones, even when we are stressed.

But be prepared. Since this is an issue that affects everyone, it's clear how challenging it can be. It also shows that there may not yet be a very effective solution that works every time. So even if there hasn't been much progress, it doesn't mean you're doing badly.

You've already identified the root cause of your phone addiction: stress. I'm sure you're well-versed in stress management techniques, including healthy ones like exercise, talking things out, and spending time in nature.

There are also less healthy ways to deal with it, like checking your phone.

I'd like to offer another perspective. When people are under stress, they're naturally prone to lack of energy and weak willpower. Is it really fair to expect us to maintain good self-control at a time like this?

If someone can normally run 5 kilometers, but recently has had a cold, fever, and weakness in the limbs, should they consider lowering their running requirements a bit? (This approach may not make you look at your phone less, but it may reduce self-blame and internal consumption.)

Over time, the pressure from self-blame will subside, and that's the start of a positive cycle.

Maybe we should ease up on our expectations of this imperfect child within. Other children will play when they are stressed, and there is nothing wrong with playing for a while.

Kids will often do things that are healthy and things that are not so healthy. Given your personality, the extent of your addiction to your phone is not so serious that it will seriously affect your work and life.

You might as well save a few "2-hour mobile phone use exemption coupons" each week. When you're feeling stressed, take one out and tell yourself, "Okay, I'm going to use my mobile phone openly."

Just a heads-up: you can "refill" the ticket if you run out of tickets.

That's my answer.

Wishing you the best!

It is beneficial to plan your free time in order to achieve a sense of fulfilment. It is important to understand your own needs, to manage your time effectively and to ensure that you are able to rest in a positive manner.

Firstly, how can we differentiate between beneficial and detrimental rest?

It should be noted that there is no definitive answer to this question. The act of swiping your phone and playing games is not inherently negative. Similarly, traveling and exercising are not necessarily positive activities in and of themselves. What is optimal is what is suitable, reasonable, enjoyable, and makes you feel good and relaxed.

It is important to adjust our perception of these activities. As long as it is not excessive, it is acceptable to engage with digital devices after work. This is not a negative behavior.

Secondly, it is about establishing your objectives and creating a plan to achieve them.

For example, activities such as playing with your phone, exercising, eating well, and clearing your emotions.

These can be scheduled at a specific time, or completed on an as-needed basis, rather than daily. Additionally, they can be performed for a limited duration, without significantly impacting the overall day.

As an example, exercise may be undertaken in the form of morning or night running, or two to three times a week at the gym or an hour or two of yoga in the evening.

Nutrition is comprised of three meals per day. Further resources, including cooking tutorials and quick, nutritious meal plans, are available for use during the week and for preparation on weekends.

To relieve stress, consider meditation for five to ten minutes before bed, listening to light music while exercising, or scheduling a weekly counseling session or heart-to-heart conversation to address negative emotions.

When faced with idle time and a lack of engaging activities, many of us tend to turn to our mobile devices for entertainment. This can result in a fragmented approach to mobile usage, where we engage with our phones intermittently throughout the day.

In conclusion, it is important to understand the extent to which this behavior occurs.

It is important to set limits and exercise moderation.

In particular, excessive phone usage is something we need to address. If you are looking to reduce your phone usage, you will need to exercise restraint.

You may wish to consider asking friends and family to remind you, or alternatively, you could set an alarm for yourself, such as a 15-minute reminder to put down your phone.

It is also advisable to set your own daily schedule. If you engage with your mobile phone when you are bored, as previously mentioned, you can then reduce the frequency and duration of this behaviour when you are not bored and have something to occupy your time.

In summary, it is essential to prioritize physical health. If you experience any health concerns, it is advisable to schedule a medical examination at the earliest convenience. When facing emotional challenges, professional psychological counseling can be a valuable resource for managing your emotions.