The older they get, the more violent they become. How do you solve the problem of a son verbally and physically abusing his father?

Hello. I give you a 360-degree hug.

From the details you provided, it is clear that your 16-year-old son has let you down. He assaulted his father, and you reported it to the police. Understandably, your father was enraged and wanted to sever ties with his son. He also advised you to stop paying attention to your son.

You absolutely cannot ignore your son. He's facing the high school entrance exam, a critical juncture in life. You're worried that if you both ignore him, he'll turn bad. He's already beaten his father, so will he fail to get into high school and ruin his future?

You haven't provided enough information. For instance, if the son beat up his father, what caused the incident and what prompted the son to attack his father directly?

I want to know what you said to your son, what you did, and what you demanded of him before he beat his father. There's no way he could have just hit him for no reason and without saying a word.

You're saying that whenever there's a disagreement, it starts with a verbal conflict and then escalates to physical violence. So, what did you say to him?

A 16-year-old who has been obedient and well-behaved since childhood and who has often been taught to reason with discipline and reason hits his father.

You didn't say it. You said that when the child was young, as long as it wasn't a matter of principle, you could at most reprimand and reason with patience. The child at that time may not agree with your reasoning and be unwilling to accept your reprimand, but he is still young and he does not have the ability or strength to say no.

But when he starts to grow and become a 16-year-old teenager, his strength and power allow him to say no. Parents who still use the standards of childhood to demand things of him are not making a mistake of principle, but still engaging in reprimand and reasoning.

He definitely won't accept it, and people also need face.

And what is a principled mistake? Who gets to define what is a principled mistake? I believe it is the parents, and the child has no say in the matter. He can only comply. I don't know how you dealt with your son's principled mistakes when he was little. Did you ever hit or scold him apart from scolding?

He is now a 16-year-old teenager, and you can no longer treat him the same way you would a 6-year-old. A 6-year-old may argue back at most, or even hit you, but they are definitely no match for their parents. They will weigh up their own strength.

At 16, a child is strong enough to hit back at his parents' reprimands.

I don't know how you have managed to get along all these years. From your description, it's clear that your son has not benefited from the scolding he received as a child. If a child is really obedient all the time, it's more likely to become someone who has no opinions, no independence, no vitality, and even no vitality.

He has the courage to rebel against his parents. He is striving to become a well-rounded person, not just a son who obeys his parents.

In this situation, the parents must change. When parents change, the child will change.

If you believe that words lead to disagreements, then parents must stop saying things that make their children angry. As the father said, they should even ignore him.

This is also a good way. Don't talk to your child anymore. He goes to school early in the morning and comes home late in the evening, so you don't have much time to spend together. You are responsible for providing your child with support in life, so don't say anything else.

You might say that this is the same as not talking, and I can't just ignore my son. That's not true.

You might say that this is the same as not saying anything and that you can't ignore your son. In that case, you have to change the way you talk to him and what you say to him. I highly recommend the book "Nonviolent Communication."

Your father should read this too.

You should also go and talk to a counselor. You are troubled, and although your father is angry, he may not really care. Your son will feel that you are forcing him.

You want your son to change, and his words and actions are causing you trouble, disappointment, and anxiety. You need to deal with these feelings.

You need to talk to a counselor. Go with your father if you can.

I am a counselor who is often pessimistic and occasionally positive. The world and I love you.