The roommate is dominant, and arguing is pointless, but how do you digest the emotions?

From the questioner's description, it seems that the relationship between the questioner and his roommate is akin to that of two sides in a debate. It seems that both sides have their own reasons, but perhaps we could benefit from a more open and constructive dialogue to find common ground.

However, in the process, I also see that the questioner has many strengths.

First, you have a strong sense of empathy-and-emotions-and-what-does-self-awareness-refer-to-21830.html" target="_blank">self-awareness and know when and how to end a conversation and maintain a relationship. Although it may seem like there is a gap, it is also your roommate's issue of "how to get along with people with different opinions." We have done our part, and the rest is up to God.

Secondly, once you have gained some proficiency in a few simple techniques for regulating your emotions, you can then use these methods to help yourself feel more positive.

Third, it would be beneficial to be empathetic. I believe you were able to resolve the situation with the clothes in a timely manner, and it seems likely that you considered the other person's upbringing and were able to understand their perspective.

If I might offer any advice, it would be:

One strategy for expressing yourself with your roommate is the "of course" game. This involves starting with "of course" and then stating your opinion and reasons. For instance, you might say, "Of course, there are many disadvantages to teeth cleaning, but I have a buildup of tartar, so teeth cleaning may be the result of weighing the pros and cons. You don't have this problem, so of course you don't need to go for teeth cleaning."

If I might make a second suggestion, it would be to consider using our strengths earlier, in the moment, in a conversation with a roommate. When we notice our emotions, we can use the little skills we have to bring a bit of change to the conversation to a certain extent.

I hope you will find these suggestions helpful as a reference. I recognize that there may be room for improvement in my approach, and I ask for your understanding as I work to refine my methods.

Hello, girl. I see you're confused. I hug you!

You have some problems with people. Let me give you a hug.

Let me answer your second question: how to get along with a dominant roommate.

Why does she like to talk?

You want to listen!

You don't want to listen.

Then, the next time she talks, tell her you're in a bad mood and want to be alone.

She'll probably still talk endlessly.

Then, walk away.

She'll get bored and stop talking if you don't want to listen.

When she talks to you, just walk away.

Don't argue with her.

If you're angry, you can:

Go for a run on the school playground.

Some universities have activity rooms. You can go there to calm down.

I don't need to argue with my roommate.

She thinks she's more reasonable because she's dominant.

It's bad for your health to keep taking on her negative emotions.

I used to like arguing with others. A good friend told me, "What's the point of winning an argument?"

Woke me up.

I hope you can solve your problem soon.

I'm out of ideas.

I hope my answers help and inspire you. I am the answer, and I study hard every day.

Yixinli loves you! Best wishes!

When you meet a roommate like this, I think the best way to help is to take a deep breath and try to digest your emotions yourself. After all, talking to him more will only make things more difficult for you, and it will also seriously affect your emotions. I really don't want you to feel overwhelmed.

Roommates are people you spend a lot of time with, so it's really important to get along with them! It's not always easy, but you can learn to control your emotions so that you can stay positive every day. It'll make you feel better in this environment if you try!

It's so important to remember that everyone has a different attitude towards life and different views on consumerism. The fact that someone is dominant only shows that their lifestyle is very different from yours. I believe that they may be someone with poor financial conditions who is trying to influence you with their views, which could mean that they have an extreme inferiority complex. It's so important not to be petty with them.

I truly believe that the best way to get along in life is to be at peace with each other. It's okay that you and your partner can't come together. You just need to do your own thing and avoid any superficial conflicts. That way, neither of you will be affected.

If you're facing someone who's causing you a lot of distress, it might be best to spend as little time as possible with them and avoid arguments. Otherwise, spending time with them might make you feel bad and affect your mood.

We can't control what other people do or how they live their lives, so the best way to improve your own life is to make changes that are right for you. I believe that we should try to find things to do for ourselves and accept that there are many people in this world who can be our partners in life. Meeting new people and forging new relationships can bring us joy.

In my opinion, in life, you will always encounter people you don't like. It's okay! The only way to better adapt to society as a whole is to accept the other person's shortcomings. So, don't worry about it too much. You'll be able to enjoy your life better if you do.

I really hope you can focus on other things in the time to come. That way, you'll be able to minimize your dissatisfaction and gain more happiness.

My name is Gu Yi, and I am open-minded.

It is important to allow for the existence of different perspectives.

From your description, it is evident that you possess a notable degree of forbearance and politeness, as well as a sense of frustration stemming from a lack of avenues to express your concerns. It is clear that you adhere to a distinct worldview and act in accordance with your personal beliefs and perceptions, yet it is challenging to find individuals who align with your perspective.

In such a situation, when a roommate is excessively insistent on their own views and not only rejects but also attacks your views and ideas, it can be extremely challenging. It is important to consider that the roommate's experience and worldview may only encompass this surface-level understanding of the matter.

It is evident that there is a discrepancy in priorities between you and your roommate. While you are concerned with quality and lifestyle, your roommate is more focused on price and value. Consequently, the focus of your discussions is not aligned, which inevitably leads to discord. It is intrinsic to human nature to have a clear understanding of one's own preferences, and the outcome of such discussions is not as crucial as the process itself.

It is recommended that the following advice be considered:

The college experience is largely centered around the dormitory, necessitating a certain degree of basic communication. In our future interactions, it is beneficial to listen to each other's arguments while maintaining our individual perspectives, which facilitates a more constructive exchange of ideas.

The dormitory is a gathering place where individuals with disparate personalities, regional backgrounds, and living habits converge. This gives rise to evident discrepancies in various concepts. Therefore, it is imperative that we collectively reconsider our actions and adhere to the established dormitory rules and regulations. This will undoubtedly result in a reduction of grievances and foster a culture of mutual respect.

It is important to accept the differences of others and to respect your own ideas. It is unwise to lose your identity in order to conform to the prevailing attitudes. It is beneficial to seek a compromise that will maintain harmonious relationships within the dormitory and facilitate personal growth. It is often helpful to engage in calm discussion with your roommates. Such discussions can foster understanding and strengthen relationships.

I wish you the best of success.

From your description, it is evident that some of your needs are relatively straightforward. Firstly, how do you navigate disagreements with individuals who hold opposing views? Secondly, there is the matter of your academic pursuits. For college students, their studies remain the primary focus. Ultimately, all other considerations should be subordinated to this priority.

Moreover, in the event of encountering roommates with disparate personalities, how should the details be managed and a harmonious coexistence be achieved? These aspects can be discerned from the description provided and the particular demands outlined, and thus warrant examination on a case-by-case basis.

When individuals encounter those who express opposing views, their typical response is one of confusion and anger.

On occasion, individuals may experience a sense of perplexity and restlessness when confronted with circumstances that deviate from their expectations. When presented with information that differs from what they have previously encountered, they may experience a sense of internal unrest, as they find it challenging to adapt to unfamiliar situations.

Conversely, we are more familiar with things that are familiar to us. Consequently, when we have not yet reached a conclusion about something, it is possible that he is correct, it is possible that both of us are correct, and it is possible that he is incorrect. In this case, due to the unequal amount of information, there may be a time lag when the information is communicated.

It is possible that our current level of technology has not yet identified a definitive solution to a problem. For example, the benefits and drawbacks of teeth-cleaning are open to interpretation, as are the benefits and drawbacks of both approaches. This ambiguity can cause significant difficulties. Consequently, there are some issues where the answer is both/neither.

It is not necessary to persuade the other party to accept our point of view. Our intention is merely to indicate that, in our estimation, a particular course of action is feasible in this matter. If there is a differing opinion, it is acceptable to express it; however, it is not permissible to oppose our proposed course of action. This approach allows both parties to express their opinions freely and to reach a mutually acceptable decision.

It is inadvisable to become unduly excited at a critical juncture. Should the prevailing mood between the two parties appear somewhat incongruous, it may be prudent to take a brief recess from the discussion. It is then advisable to take one's leave of the premises with a clear understanding of the reasons for doing so. The departure should be made in a forthright yet gentle manner, indicating that the matter in question will be taken care of independently.

The issue you raised is a matter of value exploration. For example, is a piece of clothing really worth the price, or is it a bargain? There are actually different opinions on this, and it is not an absolute question. Therefore, it is not necessary to explore this question in great depth.

For this reason, merely discussing the issue is an inadequate solution. In numerous instances, if the matter is merely discussed, it may be referred to the debate team for further deliberation, a common occurrence in certain debate programs. However, in our actual circumstances, there is no pressing need for such a referral, as the matter can be mentioned casually.

If the debate persists for an extended period, it may have a detrimental impact on the relationship. It is important to recognise that expressing opinions is not tantamount to forcing the other person to align with them completely. It is also essential to acknowledge that arguing is an ineffective approach that can give rise to negative emotions.

It is possible that your roommate may be quite dominant and therefore exert a considerable amount of pressure on you. It would be advisable to make this clear to her, indicating that you do not wish to engage in competition with her.

It is not desirable for her to exert undue influence over my decisions. You also have your own judgment. It would be beneficial to make it clear that your personality is more inclined to be reserved. It is not advisable to burden yourself unduly. If you find such a person intolerable, it may be necessary to consider changing our bedroom arrangement. It is possible that we may have to take such a step. It is not always the case that we want to argue.

In the event that the other person's behavior becomes excessively aggressive, it may be advisable to disengage from the situation. In such instances, it is beneficial to seek alternative spaces where one can engage in constructive activities. These could include libraries or other places conducive to learning and personal growth. When faced with arguments that lack logical coherence, it is often effective to articulate one's perspective directly.

One might simply state, "I do not concur with your viewpoint, but you are under no obligation to compel me to accept it. Merely articulating this is sufficient. Both parties should maintain civility and assist each other when feasible. This approach demonstrates the value of seeking common ground while respecting differences. Given that we reside in the same household, we should endeavor to maintain appropriate boundaries. When assistance is required, we can all provide it. Typically, we can strive to minimize the intensity of disagreements. We should simply move on from the subject at hand.

Please clarify the meaning of the acronym ZQ.

Hello, questioner. From your description, I see a rational, tolerant young person, which is not a common quality and I admire you for it.

Regarding the two things you mentioned, dressing up and teeth cleaning, it seems there are differences in opinion between you and your roommate. You respect their views, but your roommate is keen for you to accept her point of view. She keeps mentioning it and trying to reinforce it, which makes you feel a little uncomfortable.

It seems that you are hoping to resolve conflicts and gain advice on how to deal with similar problems. It is also apparent that you are striving to create a happy learning atmosphere through hard work. From your request, I can also see that you are a rational, goal-oriented, and restrained girl, which is somewhat surprising.

I have every confidence that you will go on to achieve great things in the future, so I'd like to give you another thumbs-up.

Your description also illustrates the conflict between your rationality and emotions. You handled the situation in a rational manner, but the negative emotions caused by the incident still require processing. I understand completely, and I'd like to share a personal experience with you in the hope that it will be helpful.

1. How might I handle such a situation in the future? You have a good grasp on how to handle clothes.

A person's spending habits are influenced by a number of factors, including their family's financial situation, the family atmosphere, and the broader social atmosphere. She made an interesting observation that clothes costing 50 yuan are similar to those costing 5,000 yuan. This is, to some extent, a valid comparison. As long as the clothes are suitable and presentable, they cannot be used to distinguish between people of different social status.

There is undoubtedly a difference in quality, and it depends on one's own thoughts and abilities. There is nothing wrong with that. It is fortunate that you did not have a direct conflict.

The same can be said of dental hygiene. There are many people who have never had their teeth cleaned and have lived to be 100 years old without any adverse effects.

For this reason, in the future, when similar things happen, you may wish to consider whether you should tell them or not, or whether you should tell them the whole truth. If they don't know, they won't be able to change your mind.

Of course, this might come across as a bit alienating as a roommate, but you could perhaps explain that it's your parents' wishes and that they've raised you this way since you were a child.

It is important to remember that getting along with roommates and seeking common ground while reserving differences is an essential aspect of handling interpersonal relationships.

2. How to Diffuse Your Roommate's Resentment. I don't believe there is any resentment, but there are some real disagreements. Your cautious attitude is commendable, and you are concerned that the rift caused by these minor issues may have negative consequences for you.

You might consider showing your attitude through small favors, such as finding a reason to invite your roommate to a snack or a movie. If it's a birthday, you could also invite them to dinner or give your roommate a gift for her birthday. It might be perceived that your family environment is relatively superior. Sometimes it is better to avoid possible harm by spending a little money.

Of course, there is no guarantee that this will always work, but we can always try to remedy or prevent any future issues. This is what you know about your roommate's character, and you should know that he is not a petty person.

3. Expand your circle of friends. I'm sure with your abilities, you won't lack for friends. If your roommate doesn't share the same views and lacks tolerance, it might be best to be polite.

Perhaps it would be helpful to remember that you can't talk to a summer insect about ice. It might be beneficial to cultivate your own open-mindedness, stand higher and look farther, and view these issues more openly. There is no need to change others, so just focus on improving yourself!

Hello, host. I hope my answer can be of some assistance to you.

When I was at university, I was just like you. I didn't want to have a conflict with my roommate, so I just held back my anger inside, which was really challenging. At that time, I hadn't studied psychology yet, but I would follow my heart and do things that made me feel better. For example, I would talk to close friends about my grievances and discomfort. After hearing everyone's understanding and comfort, I would feel much better. And in fact, everyone felt the same way about the other person. Sometimes we would vent together, and after talking about it, it would pass. Looking back now, this was indeed an effective way to release my emotions. Finding the right friends to talk to, and the process of talking, can help us to calm down. You might like to try it~

If I might offer you one more piece of advice, it would be:

It might be helpful to try to see the reason behind your roommate's behavior and to try to accept and understand her, so that you will not be so easily angered by her actions.

I used to have similar expectations of others, just like your roommate who always tries to convince others to accept her point of view. We all have our own patterns, which can sometimes cause frustration. I used to be like that, always thinking that the other person shouldn't force themselves to agree with her point of view, so I would get angry after she behaved in that way. Then I realized that perhaps I was also asking the other person for the same thing.

If I could make one request, it would be that she doesn't force me to agree with her.

It's important to remember that her behavior is shaped by her upbringing, her life circumstances, and so on. Given these factors, it may be challenging for us to change her. If we keep expecting her to change and stop persuading others to accept her views, it could make things more difficult. It's also worth noting that if she doesn't want to change, it may be difficult for her to change.

If we always refuse to adjust our expectations of her and still hope that she will change, and she never does, it may lead to feelings of anger and upset. However, if we can adjust our expectations of her, accept that she is just the way she is, and allow her to exist in this way, it may help to avoid these feelings.

2. People are linked by similarities and can learn to grow through differences, finding the right way to get along.

It can be challenging for us to imagine that everyone we meet might share the same views and ideas as us. This is where the idea of "people are linked by similarities and grow through differences" can be helpful. When we meet people who share the same values as us, people who are on the same wavelength as us, it can be easier to connect and find common ground. However, when we meet people who have different views from us, it's not always easy to find agreement, even after many explanations.

It is important to remember that we cannot communicate with people who share the same frequency. We often encounter people who are different from us in life. This can sometimes lead to misunderstandings and difficulties in getting along with each other. It is therefore essential to identify areas where we can grow and improve in order to enhance our relationships.

In my experience, I have found that when conflicts and contradictions arise in interpersonal relationships, the most effective way to resolve them and promote our growth is through non-violent communication. The premise of non-violent communication is non-judgmental, non-accusatory communication, where you simply state the objective facts, express your feelings and needs, and make specific requests of the other person. It is often helpful to choose a time when the atmosphere is good for communication, as if both people are in the middle of an emotional outburst, it may be challenging to express yourself objectively.

Perhaps you could choose a good time, such as when you two are having a pleasant meal together, and say something like, "The other day, I said I was going to have my teeth cleaned, and you said there was no need. I felt a bit sad and uncomfortable when I heard that. I would really appreciate your understanding, respect, and support, but after hearing what you said, I felt a bit rejected and was very sad. In the future, could you give me a little more understanding and care?"

It is possible that she may not fully comprehend your perspective, and she may continue to adhere to her own pattern of behavior. However, after you have voiced your thoughts, you may find a greater sense of ease and relaxation. Additionally, her appearance has at least made you aware of the existence of a different category of people in the world, which is quite intriguing. By accepting her presence, you can foster a more tolerant outlook towards the world, leading to a richer and more fulfilling life experience.

3. If you are unhappy, it may be helpful to find some reasonable ways to help you release your emotions, let your emotions flow, and help you maintain inner peace.

You might consider speaking with friends who understand and support you. Sharing your feelings can be helpful, as expressing yourself can have a soothing effect and the simple act of talking can have a healing impact. This can help you feel more at peace. Additionally, your friends' understanding and support can be beneficial, as you can experience the flow of emotions with them. This can help you feel less influenced by the negative actions of a certain person.

You might also consider keeping an emotional diary, in which you could write down your thoughts and feelings on paper. Once you have finished, you could tear it up, which might also help to release your emotions. If you were to keep an emotional diary for a long time, you might find that it has a noticeable healing effect.

You might also consider engaging in some aerobic exercise to help release any grievances or anger that may have accumulated inside. When the body is filled with the joy and ease that exercise brings, it can help dissipate negative energy and brighten one's mood.

Please note that the above is for reference only. I wish you well!

Hello!

I totally get where the questioner is coming from. When we have to deal with people who don't respect boundaries and keep pushing them, it can really throw us for a loop. It's natural to feel violated, upset, or even depressed when we're constantly having to reject someone and they just keep on crossing the line.

And it's so important to learn to say "no" to others when they do something wrong.

My roommate is very confident and likes to convince others to accept her point of view. For example, she bought a 50-yuan cotton jacket, and no one said anything about it. She said to me, "My relatives used to sell clothes for a few hundred or a few thousand yuan, but they were all lies. The clothes I bought for 50 yuan are just as good. But my values are that you get what you pay for. To be honest, I kind of hate her poor and mean appearance. I really want to argue with her, but I held back to avoid conflict. I tried to be nice and said, "Yes, there's no need to waste money..." But I was really upset inside. It's like she's saying I'm a sucker. And I think she's talking nonsense. A 50-yuan cotton jacket is no match for a 5,000-yuan one. Hahaha, I really want to tell her!

As the questioner describes, the friend's personality is very different from his own, and they have different values and attitudes towards life. So when they encounter disagreements over trivial matters in life and their values clash, the other person, who has a stronger personality and greater persistence, is likely to be more insistent and determined to see things through. In order to express their position, the questioner, who is quieter and more introverted, is more likely to compromise or give in. But personality differences are an objective reality. Why does it easily become a protracted conflict?

Why not take a moment to ask yourself how you really feel and what you really think when the other person keeps pushing your bottom line? It might help you to know what kind of decision you'll make as a result of such thoughts.

I'm sure you're wondering whether it hinders the friendship or promotes communication.

If you can take a deep breath and think about how you're feeling, the person asking you questions will see that when you're around friends, a part of you that you're not used to will come out, maybe a "sense of vulnerability," "insecurity," "the seeking of a sense of identity," and so on. That is, the part of us that we care about and are sensitive to will sometimes be activated by the environment in a specific situation.

For example, a roommate in college who also had a difficult background would complain about her situation at least three times a day. But even though she is now in college, there are still things to be happy about. My roommate still plays the role of the "poor" victim, which makes me wonder what she wants from her role as a victim.

It's clear that she's fallen in love with playing the "victim" in life. One reason is that she's really afraid of being a failure, falling behind in her studies, and being teased. So, she always says that her situation is very miserable. At first, it can feel like life is really miserable. But then, I remind myself that when I don't like some emotions, they're actually given to me by the other person. And that's exactly what we should embrace with an open heart!

If we can't respond to each other in a truthful way when we feel overwhelmed, it can be hard to stop other people from acting in ways that are difficult for us. It's not fair to ourselves or to them to try to be something we're not. When we say "no" at the right time, it helps the other person understand our limits, show them respect, and in turn, they show us respect.

And remember to give each other space and respect!

Even though personality conflicts are the most common example, the real reason often comes from the underlying inability to accept. We're all born as independent individuals with distinct personalities and independent ways of thinking. So, when conflicts arise, we can follow past experiences and withdraw in time, giving each other space and respecting each other's ideas. But we can still retain our own opinions because when both parties' views cannot be accepted, it's not a problem. It's just a sign that both parties are struggling, rather than enjoying the fun of communication.

Wishing you all the best and lots of luck!