The silent sufferer in the dormitory, how to cope with loneliness and sadness?

Good question.

From what you've said, I can see you're feeling a lot of different things, including depression, sadness, loneliness, and fear. I can also see your self-doubt and remorse. Everyone is different. Some people are keen to socialize and gain energy from it, while others prefer to gain strength from within. However, no matter what kind of personality we have, we all have the need to establish intimate relationships with others, to love and belong.

It can be tough when you feel like you don't really fit in with the dorm group. It can make you feel pretty uncomfortable.

Don't be too hard on yourself. It's tough to fit in with a new group, especially when we're not great at socializing with strangers. What you can do now is accept your personality and realize that you're not integrated into the dorm group. Let your emotions out by talking to others, running, or doing anything else that helps. Then try to open yourself up and actively integrate into the group. Here are some suggestions that might help:

1. Talk to people you know to get a better understanding of your current situation and emotions, and to find ways to build your resilience.

You can talk to friends you know and trust about your concerns and difficulties, ask for their advice and support, allow yourself to feel the care of people close to you, and temporarily escape from sadness and loneliness to release your emotions.

Think back to previous times when you were successful in social situations. Think about what you did and how you felt. Look for your strengths and abilities. Imagine how you would feel if you were successfully integrated into the group.

What would you do in that situation? Put yourself in that situation and try it out.

Take the first step and find a way to gradually improve the situation.

Once you've adjusted your mentality, you can take the first step by observing what they're doing together, what they're talking about, and where they are. You can let them know that you want to do those things with them, even if you don't speak and just quietly participate, to make your presence felt more.

You said you joined the dorm with another former resident. She's already integrated into their group. You can talk to her and start with her. Ask her to take you to their activities.

You can also find out what they're talking about and share your thoughts when it's appropriate. This will help you to gradually become more involved.

3. Accept yourself, build your confidence, and learn some interpersonal skills.

As we said earlier, being an introvert is nothing to be ashamed of. You should focus on your strengths, accept yourself for who you are, and don't overstretch yourself. If there's something you want to improve, you can find the courage to learn and practice more. For instance, you could read books and take courses on interpersonal communication, try to join some school clubs and activities, and get to know more people to slightly expand your social circle.

If the topics discussed or activities planned by the dorm group don't interest you or you don't want to take part, you can simply opt out. Use this time to explore your own interests and build connections with people who share them.

I hope you find more confidence soon and that you'll make friends with people who share your interests.

I hope the original poster gains more confidence and finds like-minded friends soon.

Hello, lonely person!

He was unable to integrate into the new dorm because he was introverted. While others chatted, he was silent.

It's sad.

Introverts face this more often. It's not fair to say that "character determines destiny" and question whether you'll always be like this.

You have a long life ahead with endless possibilities.

First, relax and get to know your roommate.

Each personality has its own good and bad points.

You think your problems are because you're a dull character. This is because people think introverts are dull. In reality, extroverts seem to be more popular. Even introverts think they're dull.

However, introverts have their own advantages. Extroverts are enthusiastic and can quickly integrate into new groups, but they don't have many true confidants.

Introverts take time to warm up to people. They have few friends, but they are sure that each one is a true friend.

Introverts have many advantages. They are better at in-depth thinking and are more focused. To understand these advantages, you must accept your character traits and recognize your strengths and weaknesses. Then you can leverage your strengths and compensate for your weaknesses.

Everyone should learn from each other's strengths and help each other with weaknesses.

Don't blame yourself. It's normal to take time to adjust to a new environment.

Let go of your anxieties and trust that you will become friends.

Second, relax, observe, and enjoy the moment.

You decide to give yourself more time to get to know your roommate. For now, you can't interrupt their conversations, so you will just observe.

You will understand them after listening for a while.

If you're lonely and depressed, you won't understand your roommate.

People like happy people. Smile to attract people. Even if you don't chat with your roommate, a happy person will attract others to talk to you.

A lonely and depressed person will only be ignored.

Be proactive in expressing yourself.

If you don't know someone, start a conversation by talking about yourself.

Being proactive and self-expressive helps you build good relationships.

Smile and extend a friendly hand to gain goodwill and friendship.

Hope this helps! Best regards!

Take a moment to really feel your loneliness and silence. Watch them chatting and laughing, wanting to blend in but not knowing how to join the conversation. It's as if you're an outsider, but inside you're suffering, wanting to break your silence.

And they'll even give you a hug from afar! For professional reasons, your current dormitory has been restructured.

You're a slow burner, so give yourself plenty of time and allow yourself to slowly build a relationship with others and open up a little bit. You've got this!

Flowers bloom at different times, don't they? There are peach blossoms in spring, lotuses in summer, chrysanthemums in autumn, and plum blossoms in the harsh winter, blooming alone despite the cold.

You are like a seed, wrapped in an outer shell, but your heart is already full of longing. You want to break free from your self-imposed silence and restrictions, join in with your roommates' conversations, and laugh and chat with them. You just need a little courage and strength to break through the shell and let the seed sprout. Let others see you, discover your differences, and connect with you. You've got this!

So, you can try to start from the following aspects to slowly develop in the desired direction:

1. Take a closer look at your surroundings!

Take a moment to look at your roommates around you. See what changes they've made each day, what their preferences are, and what their characteristics are. You might even find similarities between you! For example, today you're all wearing pink. "Oh, what a coincidence!" Start with such small details to slowly find the feeling of chatting. Focus on paying attention to other people and get rid of the background thoughts in your head, like "Why don't I have anything in common with them?" or "Why am I such a quiet person?"

2. Go out of your way to "bother" other people.

Interacting with others is like playing soccer: you kick the ball to me, and I kick it back to you. Don't be afraid to trouble others, and ask for help more often. For example, ask someone to bring you something on their way, or buy you breakfast. Next time you help someone else, you'll become more familiar with each other.

3. Treat yourself to some more interesting and humorous stories and news, and see what other topics you can share with your friends.

Every day, you can pay attention to the latest news and share it with your roommates who might not have seen it yet. It's a great way to stay up to date and have lots of different topics to chat about!

4. Go out and see the world!

Go out into nature and take a look. The outside world is big, your future is long, and you haven't graduated from college yet. You're young and beautiful! Don't limit yourself to a small world. Find your future direction with today's highly developed internet. You can find relevant courses online to learn and develop your various abilities and skills.

Open up your world, step into the colorful world outside, and let go of the labels in your heart. You've got this! You can develop in any direction you hope for. Just take your time, and enjoy the journey!

Hello, lovely questioner.

A few roommates you've been living with for two years suddenly change majors. It's a double whammy: your original "relationship investment" is now a wash, and you have to face a new environment. In reality, you're joining a new four-person dorm; psychologically, you, who may not be very good at interpersonal relationships, are going to have to join a strange group again.

You were originally in the same team as your roommate in the original dormitory, but soon even your teammate joined the new dormitory. You're not the fastest to warm up, so you felt uncomfortable with the surrounding environment. When the other five people are chatting and laughing, you're standing nearby, like a bystander who can't join in.

It can be tough when you're in a conversation and you can't contribute.

At the same time, you want to join them, but you can't. You're trying to solve the problem of wanting to join in but feeling like it's painful and there's no way forward. There are two problems here.

It seems like the first problem is that when you can't "fit in," you're hard on yourself. You call yourself "dull" and say it's all your problem. That kind of negative self-evaluation will make you depressed, make you doubt yourself, and even make you "freeze up," making it difficult to think of a solution right now.

This brings us to the second question.

Question 2 might be: How do you join a group if you don't have anything in common with them for the time being? If you can control your emotions to a state where they only slightly affect you while thinking about this topic, then go search for some information or other people's experiences.

It's also important to keep an eye on your feelings. You really want to fit in and make close friends, but you also blame yourself for having a bad personality and think it'll always be this way. Your young heart has really suffered a lot! No wonder you feel so down and depressed. I understand...

Other people who responded have already shared lots of specific methods, so I won't go over them again here.

I'm like the starry sky, and I'm with you under it. I hope this episode helps you understand yourself better in college. I wish you all the best in life!

As a consequence of the transfer, you were unable to integrate into the new dormitory community in a timely manner. This has resulted in feelings of depression.

However, this is not a changeable circumstance, as the perception is that your presence is merely tolerated.

You assert that the responsibility for your situation lies solely with yourself. You report feelings of sadness, loneliness, and fear associated with living alone without close friends.

Furthermore, you have stated that your character determines your destiny, and thus, you have expressed doubt regarding the trajectory of your life.

After reviewing your inquiry, it is evident that you are seeking a change in your current circumstances. It is therefore imperative that we discuss the potential avenues for achieving a reduction in your feelings of loneliness, sadness, and fear.

The desire to integrate into the dormitory community is a typical human aspiration. Humans are social creatures and tend to live in groups.

It is a fundamental human need to form relationships with others. Through such relationships, we are able to establish our own communities and develop a sense of belonging.

It appears that you do not feel integrated or have a sense of belonging in this dormitory, which has resulted in feelings of loneliness. However, this is a maladaptive state of mind that can be altered.

Once a new relationship is established and a sense of belonging is achieved, an improvement in the subject's condition can be expected.

Presently, you are experiencing feelings of loneliness, sadness, and fear. While you have not yet established a new relationship, it is recommended that you attempt to regulate your emotional state.

How might an individual regulate their emotions? One potential approach is to cultivate a set of hobbies.

For example, one might consider engaging in activities such as sports, listening to music, drawing, or reading comics. Any pursuit that elicits even a modicum of interest is worthy of exploration.

As you engage in activities such as listening to music or exercising, you may encounter individuals with whom you share similar interests. Given that you all have the same hobbies, it may be more natural for you to communicate with each other in your interests, which could facilitate the establishment of closer relationships.

As stated in your narrative, you identify as a quiet person. It is important to note that a reserved demeanor is not inherently problematic.

Those with a tendency towards introversion may be more inclined to engage in profound reflection. This potential issue may have caused you concern, yet it is also an area in which you possess a distinct advantage.

One may utilize their strengths to foster connections with those in their immediate vicinity. As an illustration, one can observe the subject matter of a conversation when others are engaged in discourse and mirth.

It would be beneficial to consider where one might be able to integrate oneself into the existing social dynamics. When one identifies an opportunity to do so, it may be advantageous to seize the moment and contribute to the ongoing conversation.

Subsequently, a transformation in the relationship may occur.

The aforementioned two aspects pertain to the enrichment of one's life through action, with the objective of regulating one's emotions and facilitating a gradual integration into the dormitory environment. Additionally, it is possible to seek assistance from the university's professional psychological counselors.

In the contemporary era, academic institutions typically offer counseling services, which are provided at no cost.

Should you experience discomfort at school, you may also consult a counselor on our platform. As you have done, you may pose questions here and receive responses from numerous individuals.

It is my sincere hope that this will prove beneficial. It is important to remember that the world and I hold you in high regard.

Comfort the OP from afar.

The questioner describes a restructured dormitory. The roommates have integrated successfully, but they feel depressed.

You need to change your dull personality. It's sad, lonely, and scary.

The questioner is doubting.

Character determines destiny. This is how my life will be.

Words to the questioner:

The current poster is struggling to integrate into the environment. These feelings are an important feature that humans have retained over tens of thousands of years. This feature, along with the characteristics of the group, can help us live better and survive better. All emotions are normal.

When you first entered university, you and the people in your dormitory didn't know each other. You got to know them slowly but surely and were able to chat and communicate with them.

The questioner is right: the current situation is no different from that at the beginning of university.

The solution is simple.

1: Talk to the other person about themselves. At first, talk less about yourself. Be aware of the communication, put the spotlight on the other person, and consider things from their perspective. This way, you'll fit into the other person's conversation and their circle.

2: Discuss current events, such as celebrity gossip or issues that everyone is currently concerned about, and share your opinions.

3: In normal times, follow group activities together to enhance your sense of intimacy. Help anyone who needs it.

I am confident that the questioner will use these three methods to integrate into the group as soon as possible.

Hello!

I'm a mindfulness coach. Learning is a treasure.

I can feel your sadness, loneliness, fear, pain, and helplessness.

I won't go into your problems with your roommate, but I have three pieces of advice:

First, accept your current state.

It will make you feel better and help you think about what to do next.

You say you're a sophomore in college and have been living with your roommates in this dorm for almost a year. You find it difficult to integrate with them. You feel depressed when you listen to them chatting and laughing every day and can't join in. You are also aware of your own problems, which makes you feel sad and lonely. This is understandable because we all need to find a sense of belonging and identity in the group. Therefore, you should accept your current state of mind and "see" the lonely, sad, and scared you inside. This will give you mental energy to think about other things. Otherwise, your mind will be filled with negative emotions.

If you accept yourself, you can change the situation. It may sound strange, but that's how it works.

Secondly, think about your own state.

Rational thinking helps you understand yourself and reality.

To rationalize, do these two things:

You can change the status quo.

You've already realized your problem, so you can start changing it.

If you're not confident in your ability to change, you need to learn to take a developmental view of yourself. You still have time and energy to improve. See the power of time.

Second, know that loneliness and sadness are part of your growth.

Everyone wants to fit in and feel like they belong. But we all have to face things on our own at some point. This is a lesson we all have to learn.

This way, your negative emotions might improve.

Focus on yourself and think about how you can feel better.

You can learn from other students who are also adjusting to their new environment.

Read books on relationships and discuss them with others. Talk about how to communicate directly and honestly. Tell them you want to integrate with them but don't know how. They'll probably be willing to communicate with you because of your honesty. This will help you feel less lonely and sad.

You can also exercise your ability to be alone. Tell yourself, "When you're alone, you can do things, and that's good." You may not be afraid of loneliness, which will make you feel better. You may also understand that you can be comfortable when you are with others or alone. The loneliness you can get out of is good loneliness. You need to know that you can do something to improve the situation.

Taking action helps you feel better.

I hope this helps. Click "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom to talk to me one-on-one.

In this situation, the individual experiences pain and a desire to integrate with the group. However, they find that they are unable to participate in the group's conversations. This leads to a sense of depression and a desire to be quiet. However, there is no action that can be taken to change this situation, and the group appears to accept the individual's absence.

You assert that you are the source of your own distress, experiencing profound sadness, loneliness, and fear. You question whether your current circumstances are inevitable and express concern about the future.

Firstly, it is essential to recognise one's emotions or feelings, to understand oneself, to support oneself, and to refrain from self-criticism or self-attack. This is not a personal issue.

Secondly, it is imperative to alter one's perception. It appears that there is a prevailing assumption that a lack of dynamism in one's personality will inevitably result in a series of unfavourable outcomes. This includes the inability to integrate into a social group, a lack of a sense of belonging within that group, the absence of close friendships, and the perpetuation of feelings of isolation and distress.

It is therefore erroneous to assume that one's lack of vitality has caused them distress, and that they should have sought to alter their character from the outset. In point of fact, each individual possesses a unique set of strengths.

The individual in question describes themselves as "dull." However, from an alternative perspective, this quality may be indicative of a proclivity for introspection and a keen capacity for empathy and discernment. This individual is adept at articulating their emotions and employing a logical and discerning approach to problem-solving.

In conclusion, it is essential to adopt a future-oriented and resource-oriented approach. This entails identifying one's strengths, capitalizing on them, learning to accept and approve of oneself, and seeking a sense of belonging within a collective.

Should you experience difficulty in coping with these issues, you may wish to consider seeking the assistance of a qualified counselor. Such a professional can assist you in releasing your emotions, exploring your needs, and enhancing your self-confidence.

I wish you the best of luck!

Hello, I'm Evan.

From what the questioner said, it seems like they're in a bit of a tough spot. They're on the introverted side and not the most social, which makes it tough for them to fit in at the new dorm.

Spending time with them inevitably makes the questioner feel pressure or other negative emotions, right? If you can't make good contact in a new environment, you can show your interest and try to help others when you need to do something without affecting your own business.

So, how do you communicate and get along with people in an unfamiliar environment? These are ways to improve your social skills. Since this is an online platform, there isn't much room for detailed conversations, so I can only give the original poster some brief advice.

We all have our own personalities and temperaments. Socializing is a skill, and it's something we can all work on. Whether you're introverted or extroverted, you have your own social circle and social skills. Give the questioner a pat on the shoulder and some encouragement. With practice, your communication skills will improve, and you'll feel more comfortable.

Since the question was asked on the platform, I'll also share a few simple tips for improving interpersonal communication:

It's also a good idea to brush up on your oral communication skills.

When you're communicating with others, keep an eye on your volume and tone of voice. Adjust your volume depending on the situation and try to match the volume and tone of voice of the person you're talking to.

Another way to connect with people is to learn the local accent. Some people have their own accent when they speak.

If you want to get closer to the other person, you can speak with a bit of their accent. This can help you connect with them and make them feel close to you. Just make sure you keep a good grasp on the situation. Don't try to learn their accent, and don't try to speak like them. Otherwise, it won't work.

2. Talk about things based on how well you know each other.

If you just met the person, you can talk about recent schoolwork or your opinions of the teacher, but avoid topics that are too personal. It's best not to pry for personal information like you're interrogating someone, as this can be offensive.

If you feel like you have nothing in common with your roommate, you can talk about the weather or recent news events. Or you can compliment your roommate on their clothes or hairstyle. For example, Xiao Li, you look very energetic in a different outfit today. Have you had any good news recently?

That's a nice hat. Where did you get it? I've been craving something delicious lately. Do you have any recommendations?

In short, these topics are great for getting the conversation started in the dormitory, and chatting with your classmates is a great way to get to know your roommates.

3. Go into more detail.

Once you've had a chance to chat with your roommates and get to know them a bit better, you can start talking about some more in-depth topics. But it also depends on how well you and your roommates are getting along. If you've been getting along well, you can talk about each other's families.

You can also talk about their parents, their usual hobbies, and what interests them. These are all topics that can be expanded upon to deepen the friendship between roommates.

Avoid closed questions and ask open questions instead, like "how" and "why." For example, "A-zhu, how do you keep such a good figure?"

What kind of exercise do you usually do? And so on.

4. Take note of how other people interact socially.

Take a look at how social and emotional intelligence experts interact with others. Pay attention to their body language and eye contact. See if there are any techniques you can learn to improve your own interpersonal skills.

You can try to copy the way those experts express themselves to gradually improve your communication skills.

5. Smile!

When you're communicating with others, try to smile more. People like to interact with people who are funny, and it makes them happy.

It's okay to laugh at yourself. You can learn to use more humor in your language. As long as you make others laugh, they'll like interacting with you.

I think the questioner can improve their interpersonal skills by summarizing more, learning more, and practicing more.

I hope my answer helps the questioner.

Hello, question asker! I'm thrilled to answer your question. From your description, it seems that you and a roommate have embarked on an exciting new journey after changing majors. You've welcomed the new environment with open arms, embracing the possibilities and changes that come with it. While it's natural to feel a little uncomfortable at first, I'm sure you'll find your footing soon.

When people leave their old environment and come to a new one, they will have some difficulty adapting, more or less. It's just that some people adapt faster and some slower. When you first went to university, you were all newcomers, right? After more than a year, you have also adapted to each other, which shows that there is nothing wrong with your ability to adapt to a new environment. You are all doing great!

In a new environment, it's a great idea to have an old friend with you. It's the perfect way to break the ice! When it comes to communication and exchanges in the dorm, you can choose to support the team first and the other student who came with you. This way, your opinions won't seem too lonely in the exchange. And if you ever feel really lonely, you can always chat with your old classmates or other friends online!

As we grow up, our personalities become more independent, and the physical and psychological boundaries between each other become clearer and clearer. Learning to adapt to loneliness and strengthen your self-function is also a sign of your maturity. Truly strong people do not need the outside environment to provide energy to nourish their character. I am happy to have an appointment with you. 1983. The world and I love you!

Dear Question Asker,

Given that your question stems from a problem with getting along with your roommates in the restructured dormitory, the roommate who originally moved in with you should be more familiar with you. However, observing her engaging in conversation and laughter with the other four new roommates while you were unable to join, you experienced a sense of depression. You felt as though you were a transparent presence among them, which must have been a challenging experience.

The process of attribution influences the generation of problem-solving ideas.

There are a number of factors that have contributed to this situation. You have attributed it to your own lack of engagement. However, there may be other factors at play.

It is possible that during the conversation, the other party may have perceived your lack of interest in the topic or assumed you were otherwise occupied. These scenarios are plausible and, if considered, could lead to a more positive outlook.

Modifying one's behavior is an attempt to disprove assumptions.

From your concerns, it is evident that you are apprehensive about being isolated, alone, and overlooked. Your apprehension is heightened when you are not included in the enjoyable activities of others.

Will this fear become a reality? Is there sufficient evidence to conclude that your fear of being ignored is justified?

Apart from this incident, is there any other evidence that would disprove this assumption? Is there any proof that they are paying attention to you?

If there is no or little evidence at this time, that is acceptable. You may wish to consider asking them for assistance, for example with the dishes or another relatively minor task. When they require help, offer to provide assistance in any way you can. When you encounter difficulties in your daily life, you may wish to ask them for advice more often. This will make the other person feel valued and cared for, and they will feel needed by you. This may then facilitate the emotional flow between you.

My name is Kaka T., and I am passionate about photography. I hope the above information is useful to you.

Dear questioner,

You're overthinking things. If you're unhappy in the dorm, it will show on your face. Then you'll feel like everyone has a problem with you. You'll get angrier and angrier. No one wants to see your long face. You can change the way other people talk about you. You can also voice your dissatisfaction. Don't hold your anger inside. Don't slam doors. Don't talk about them too. They will change too. Get along with one of the people in the dorm. Blend in. This situation of yours should not be a reason to change majors. It may have been there the whole time you were in the dorm. When I was in school, there were girls who were isolated by the entire dorm. That girl really had a problem. She shirked her responsibilities. She lost her temper for no reason. She didn't consider other people.

If you lower your attitude and just smile when people say something,

Laugh more. Girls who laugh will never have bad luck.

I had a falling out with my roommates because I got too close to the tutor and also because of my approach to classwork.

My roommate complains that I'm stupid and do stupid things. They say I'm a disgrace to them.

I also didn't consider other people's feelings. I got up too loudly, turned the lights on too brightly, slept too late, wore clothes that dripped, forgot my keys, and asked others to open doors for me.

These are my own problems.

I changed because they mentioned these things.

Everyone has problems. Everyone brings them up and works with each other. That's what a collective living environment is all about.

If the three people in the dormitory don't get along with you, you need to decide whether it's their problem or yours.

You've got this. The dormitory is where you grow up. In the future, you will increasingly consider the needs of others.

Hello. You have been lonely and depressed in this restructured loneliness-and-sadness-15256.html" target="_blank">dormitory for almost a year. You are living in a space designed for four people, yet you do not have close friends. It is clear that you are not being considered, which is really sad. I am here to tell you that you are worthy of love and friendship.

Character determines destiny, but only in a specific context. Different personalities have different strengths and weaknesses. You may be more introverted and sensitive, but that doesn't mean you can't build good relationships with others.

The stark contrast between the previous situation, when the girls in your dormitory integrated into the new dormitory and laughed and chatted happily, and your inability to join in may make you feel betrayed, aggrieved, and inferior. When you want to join in the conversation but hesitate, you need to ask yourself: What are you thinking? What are you worried about?

Tell me, what are you afraid of? And are the topics your roommates talk about interesting to you?

The dormitory is a place to relax. Relax, speak your mind, and don't hold back.

There is no right or wrong in personality. The most important thing is to establish relationships with the right people and find friends with whom you feel comfortable and who accept you for who you are. Personality is influenced by personal traits, environment, and the people around you, and is constantly evolving.

Don't label yourself as "incapable of change" or "bad" or view yourself with a developmental perspective.

You should talk to the school's psychological counseling center and counselor about your current interpersonal confusion. This may affect your emotions, which in turn affect your studies and self-confidence. Psychological counseling can help you understand your own behavior patterns, emotions associated with behavior, and deeper desires and needs. This will help you improve your interpersonal effectiveness skills and have a fulfilling and wonderful college experience.

I wish you the best!

Good day, host.

My name is Li Xuan, and I am a listening therapist.

I appreciate your willingness to share your concerns with us. We will collaborate to identify a solution. I commend you for your courage in bringing these issues to our attention.

1. Your previous roommate has adapted to the new environment, but you have not yet done so.

2. You feel unable to participate in the conversations between your roommates.

3. You have reached a point where you are no longer willing to remain silent, and you are experiencing feelings of depression. However, you feel that you lack the ability to effect change. It appears that your presence is accepted, as though you were not even there.

From your statements, I am unable to ascertain whether you are feeling helpless, scared, or angry.

Best regards,

It is challenging to integrate into a new environment, particularly when it is unfamiliar and comprised of individuals and circumstances that are different from what one is used to. Adapting to a new environment does require time, and the pace at which one adapts varies from person to person. It is important to remember that everyone experiences this challenge to some extent.

I am curious as to why you feel that discussing yourself is a topic you cannot participate in. Do you have an aversion to this topic?

If you require assistance in articulating your thoughts and ideas, please do not hesitate to contact us.

I can see that you want to make a change. Let's see where we can start. Since you are roommates at school, you will probably study, eat, sleep, and even go shopping together. We can start by asking for help with a subject; invite your roommate to the cafeteria and complain about the food. You are a very courageous person, asking for help on an unfamiliar platform, and you can definitely do it in real life.

Take the initiative and utilize your intellect to facilitate change.

I hope you will soon find a way out of your current situation. Please know that I am here to support you.

Hello, dear reader! I'm excited to share that I've been living with my roommates for almost a year now, and I'm in my second year of university!

You're saying that this kind of relationship has been on your mind for a while, and it's been a journey to get to where you are now!

But the result is that I can see that your solitude is also a way of life and an amazing ability! Who in the world can understand themselves?

Guess what? Everyone is lonely when they arrive and when they leave. In fact, not only is everyone lonely when they arrive and when they leave, there are bound to be times in life when you have to be alone. So loneliness is quite nice!

Have you not been "lonely" for so long? Well, guess what? Being lonely is also a way of life, and there is also the freedom to be alone!

There's absolutely no need to sing along or try to agree with others! Just enjoy this state of solitude, where "I" and "I" are together.

I don't need the company of others because I will accompany myself well! I deeply love myself, and in solitude I fully accept and treat myself kindly! No one is perfect, but everyone has strengths and weaknesses. A person who can accept themselves for who they are is loving and understanding of themselves!

If you can live a good life alone, you are a person with a "strong" mindset. Such a person has an independent personality, the ability to respect and love yourself, and the confidence to stand on their own two feet! You will never belittle yourself by being "isolated" or "ignored" by others. Why would we ever encourage others' inappropriateness and blame ourselves for others' mistreatment of "ourselves"?

We can reflect on ourselves because there is a reason for this "neglect" (your self-awareness is wise!). People live socially, so in addition to the ability to be alone and an attitude towards life, there is also the ability to be in a crowd, the ability to integrate into a team, and the ability to communicate. However, the core of these abilities is the ability to love, a person who accepts and treats herself kindly. When self-acceptance and a sense of self-worth are sufficient, she will not be in pain, whether or not she is loved and cared for.

Because her love comes from self-acceptance and treating oneself well, when self-worth soars, it overflows! Someone who loves themselves will definitely love others!

A person who accepts themselves (their strengths and weaknesses) will treat others well! (We are all the same, and we all have our own amazing strengths and weaknesses. Be grateful for each other's strengths and understand each other's weaknesses).

Guess what! Getting along with others requires mutual completion and forgiveness!

Dear young master, Someone who can be alone for so long is someone with a strong inner self! And someone who can not only be alone but also join others must be a warm and caring person with a sunny disposition who can brighten up themselves and others!

Dear young master! If such a person is not you, then who is it?

Absolutely!

A person who constantly affirms themselves, grows themselves, and breaks through themselves will absolutely have a hopeful life!

I wish you the absolute best!

Good day, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to express my concern about your recent question. Please accept my sincere apologies for the delay in my response. I would like to extend my support and guidance to you. Kind regards,

After reviewing your inquiry, I extend my sincerest sympathies.

I would be delighted to have a conversation with you.

1. Attribute things more positively.

At your age, you tend to attribute negative outcomes to yourself.

As an illustration, in a restructured dormitory, the other residents engage in conversation and laughter, while the individual in question maintains a reserved and silent demeanor, as though they are not present.

They perceive it as a personal issue.

I would like to take this opportunity to share with you the fact that when we encounter something that does not match our expectations, we may experience a variety of emotions.

For example, "I feel a sense of sadness, loneliness, and fear."

At this juncture, individuals will seek to ascertain the cause of the occurrence and determine the underlying factors that led to it.

However, the more we seek to identify the underlying causes, the more emotionally involved we become.

This process of explanation is referred to as "attribution."

The occurrence of an event is the result of multiple, complex factors.

Furthermore, when we attribute these issues to ourselves, we are more likely to engage in self-critical behaviors.

It is also important to consider external factors such as the situation and the influence of other individuals.

As an illustration, a dormitory that has undergone restructuring can present inherent challenges for latecomers, particularly those who are less socially adept.

Once your roommates have become integrated into the group, you may experience a sense of isolation.

For instance, if the roommate with whom you originally shared accommodation remains a close acquaintance, this situation will not have a significant impact on you.

When we attempt to attribute a more positive outcome, such as how we can enhance our personal development, implement minor adjustments, or improve our adaptability, we are more likely to achieve a favorable result.

2. Gain an understanding of our character and identify ways to enhance our comfort level.

You inquire, "Character determines destiny, so is this how my life will unfold?"

The environment in which an individual is raised has a significant impact on the development of their character.

Furthermore, our experiences influence our character.

I would like to take this opportunity to share with you the view that there is no such thing as a good or bad personality, and that we have many different facets.

It can be said that each of us has a multifaceted character.

It is important to note that individuals who are perceived as quiet may in fact possess a lively personality.

When we focus on our perceived shortcomings, we inadvertently accentuate them.

Similarly, when self-esteem is amplified, it may appear as though confidence is lacking.

When we perceive our character to be deficient, it creates an opportunity for growth and development.

I am curious to know how you would define your own character.

In the modern business environment, there is a clear preference for extroverted individuals.

Some introverts who are not proficient in verbal communication may appear to be at a disadvantage in interpersonal interactions.

If you are interested, I recommend the book Character Correction.

The book states,

Recent studies have indicated that

"Character is dynamic, flexible, and malleable."

Similarly, an individual who is reticent may also aspire to become a stand-up comedian.

It is possible to define and shape one's own character, and to avoid being constrained by it.

Ultimately, it is up to us to decide how we want to live our lives.

I believe this is an inspiring concept.

This has been proven time and again.

The author proposes that a principal pathway to character development is

Goals drive actions, which in turn shape character.

If you wish to effect change, it is advisable to begin with your goals and actions.

For instance, demonstrate genuine interest in your roommates by actively listening to their concerns and interests, without the expectation of reciprocation.

Additionally, you can concentrate on developing your strengths to attract individuals who are aligned with your values and goals.

It is to be expected that there will be setbacks in interpersonal relationships.

It is not uncommon to encounter such challenges when first moving into a dormitory or starting a new job.

It would be beneficial to view this as a training exercise.

The manner in which setbacks are interpreted and viewed.

The key is to instill a sense of self-worth and confidence in your abilities, recognizing your intrinsic value and potential.

This is a process that requires growth and development.

Please remember the following:

The key factor in shaping one's character is not past experience, but future aspirations.

Please feel free to share these.

Best regards,

Hello. Thank you for your question. I am Mo Mo.

First of all, you are kind. Why do you feel isolated? They accept you, but not your presence. You are trying to find the reason, and you still hope to get along with them. This feeling and kindness are already very precious.

You may also feel lonely. Many students in college feel lonely. I have also been lonely before. It's possible that your depression may have lasted a long time, or you may have always grown up like this, making it challenging for you to make friends. I am also an introvert who enjoys reading and listening to music alone. I have observed individuals with three or five close friends who are together every day. I have also questioned my personality, wanting to change it so that I can make as many good friends as they do.

Finally, if you want to change your personality so that you can make friends more easily or have friends, stop denying your own personality. Don't feel guilty or pressure to change it.

Be yourself. There's no need to be something you're not. Your kindness will be noticed, and someone will always feel drawn to you.

I'm going to give you a list of things you can do when you're lonely to make yourself feel fulfilled.

1. Study. Go to the library to study on your own time in college. You can study, borrow books to read, and quietly read and study, so that you can fully experience the beauty of college.

2. When you're tired from studying, go for a walk on the playground or go for a run. It'll relieve your stress and you can also see many classmates who exercise together.

3. Find a skill-based learning opportunity related to your major that can supplement your extracurricular time. Use it as a part-time job in the future. It can be both a hobby and a part-time job. There are many courses on the internet, so find a reliable institution to learn from.

4. Identify your interests and hobbies, select one or two, and invest time in developing them. With consistent practice, your interests and hobbies will become specialties that will boost your confidence and help you appreciate the beauty of life.

If you feel lonely, keep learning. You will grow as you learn. You will get better at some things, or you will find people with the same interests as you to learn and improve together. Our friends are attracted to us. Do your own thing, share your beautiful life, and someone will leave you a message, ask you for advice, or want to be with you. I learn and serve others, then attract them to me. When I'm alone, I do things that I find meaningful, and wait for others to make the first move. I'm an introvert, so this is probably the way I am. You may like this approach too.

I appreciate the question. My name is Mo, and I'm a student who is quietly learning and searching for the meaning of life. The world and I love you.

Kindly extend a gesture of affection to my colleague.

As a fellow university student, I can relate to this challenge. When I first started my freshman year, I found it difficult to adjust to my roommates. Their lifestyles, thinking, and personalities made it challenging for me to find common ground, so I decided to move out of the dormitory.

This dormitory has been restructured to allow for a more independent and quiet environment. Residents are free to pursue their own activities without disturbing others. I occasionally review the activities of other dormitories to gain insight into their social events and team-building initiatives. I must admit, I do occasionally feel envious. Having positive roommates and creating lasting memories during one's youth is undoubtedly a valuable experience.

You stated that you are subjected to constant chatter and laughter, which fills your ears. You also mentioned that you are unable to engage in discussions about this topic.

"I don't want to be quiet anymore, I feel very depressed." First of all, I understand your situation very well. You have made commendable efforts to effect positive changes, but unfortunately, you have not received the desired response. It is important to note that you should not blame yourself for this outcome.

I hope you will consider two questions: first, whether you truly require their friendship, and second, whether your loneliness will cease once you are accepted by them.

I believe that learning to be alone is an important aspect of personal growth. In solitude, one has the opportunity to focus their attention on themselves, engage in deep reflection, and facilitate personal growth.

I hope my thoughts can be of some assistance to you. Being alone is not a cause for concern, and we are here to support you.

It is important to love yourself and be happy.

Hello, classmate! I'm so happy you asked this question and I'm excited to answer it!

1. #Personality determines destiny. Is this how my life will be? #

Hugs! Kids, everyone has their own unique personality traits, and each one has its own special qualities. Your character will only play a role in how you make friends, but don't worry! You'll find your perfect match in no time.

2. I'm really sorry to hear that many students have transferred for professional reasons. It's a shame, but it's also an opportunity for something new and exciting! This is a restructured dormitory, so it'll be a great chance for you to make new friends.

It can be really tough when you have to move to a new school because of changes in the environment. It can make you feel anxious because you have to start all over again with a new group of friends. It can feel like the other kids have already made friends while you're still trying to find your way. My daughter is in sixth grade this year and just moved to a new school. She went through something similar, but she found a way to make friends and fit in. I'm going to share the method she used, and I hope it helps you too!

I truly believe that if you find the right approach, you can make friends!

3. If you want to make friends, I've got a three-part plan that I think you'll love! First, you need to open the door to friendship. How? Send signals that you want to be friends by actively saying hello, praising, and showing goodwill.

Then, look for similarities! It's always a great idea to find out what you have in common with someone. After all, friendship is all about sharing and connecting over common interests. And when you find out what you have in common, it makes it so much easier to start a new friendship!

And finally, have fun! It's so important to enjoy yourself if you want a lasting friendship. You can have a great time playing sports together or doing things you both love.

I'm sending you lots of good luck, my child! I really hope you feel at home in your new environment soon. I'd love to hear all about it!

I'm Ah Qun, and I just wanted to send you a little note to say hi and wish you well from afar!

My name is Gu Yi. I am modest and self-effacing, and I am consistent.

Express your voice.

A restructured dormitory is a complicated environment. It's more difficult to re-integrate and establish emotional connections in the new dormitory environment because everyone has already started to have their own little circles during the year at university. You may have missed the initial connection, but don't worry. Let's take our time to sort it out.

After the new dormitory was formed, the relationships between the roommates gradually stabilized. However, you quickly realized that you didn't fit in. It was clear that you couldn't participate in their conversations, and they didn't seem to care about your situation. They were like roommates, while you felt more like an outsider.

You recognize your role and confront feelings of embarrassment, inferiority, sadness, and frustration head-on.

So, we have a choice. Do we remain silent or are we ignored? Of course not. Each of us has our own unique way of being. For this reason, as long as we can recognize our own value and make ourselves happy, it's fine. We can express what we want to say, just let ourselves be heard.

I'm going to tell you how to enhance your sense of presence.

I know of a student in our university dormitory who is in a similar situation to you. They come from different provinces and were raised with different educations, so their way of thinking is very different. When they talk, they can't always get on the same channel, and the desire to converse disappears. But then this student took a unique path and became herself. Everyone discovered the bright spots in her and began to understand her world.

Let's be clear: we should first let ourselves express the voice we want to send. Any relationship must be based on mutual understanding. You need to let everyone see it, and then we can attract and understand each other for a better change. To this end, my dear, be yourself, read to enrich yourself, and gain knowledge to broaden your mind.

Express yourself. Let others get to know you.

There are many solutions to our embarrassing situation. The best solution is to be confident, to be yourself, to express yourself, and to let yourself be seen. This will solve our problems. Character determines destiny, but we can change our character.

We are all newbies in life. I believe that we can illuminate ourselves and warm others as long as we have love and light in our hearts.

Best wishes!