The Tangshan assault case brought to mind my inner fear and desire to escape.

Hello. I can see that the Tangshan incident has triggered some fear and worry for you. It's understandable that you might be having flashbacks and feeling scared. You might even be considering leaving. I hope that I can provide some support and strength to help you through this.

First of all, you and your child are protected by the law, both in the past and in the present. The person who committed the crime in Tangshan will be punished by the law. If you or your child are treated inappropriately, you are also protected by the law. Please believe that you can learn to protect yourself with the support of society.

Second, it's important to learn to respect the resources around you and protect yourself. Your friends, family, and even your children can all stand together with you to defend your rights. I hope you'll feel more supported if you express your concerns boldly.

Finally, it might be helpful to look into what resources your ex-husband has. How does the child experience seeing him?

Do you think the child is afraid too? If they really want to see their child and value their visitation rights, then at least they can rest assured that he doesn't hit his kids and that he's still a dad in front of them.

It might be worth trying to communicate with the child directly to help them feel more secure.

In short, you can express your reasonable suggestions for your ex-husband's child visitation with the support of the law, relatives and friends, and many other sources. If you really have difficulty controlling flashbacks of fearful experiences, I suggest you seek professional psychological counseling to help you overcome the trauma. You will become stronger.

Hello, host. I'm July.

From reading your description, I believe I understand the question you wish to ask. In this regard, I would like to offer you my support in whatever way I can.

From your description, I believe I can understand the problems you are currently facing, which should make it slightly easier for us to find solutions.

I believe the Tangshan violent assault case is a cause for concern. It has had a significant impact on society, making us question the safety of our surroundings. It can lead to heightened feelings of mortality, as our subconscious tends to suppress such thoughts. Triggers of death can bring these feelings to the surface.

This incident has also prompted you to reflect on your time spent with your ex-husband. It's possible that you may have developed a certain apprehension towards your ex-husband, which could be perceived as a fear of death. This may have led you to seek ways to distance yourself from your ex-husband and his family.

It is understandable that your main concern is that your ex-husband may influence your son in a negative way. You want to protect your son from any potential violence and ensure he has a safe and nurturing environment to grow up in. Having experienced violence in your own family, you are naturally cautious about providing the same environment for your son.

In this regard, I have also summarized some methods to help alleviate the current situation, and I hope they can be of some assistance.

(1) It might be helpful to try to relax and take things slowly, and to avoid putting too much pressure on yourself, as this can sometimes make things feel worse in the moment.

(2) It may also be challenging to completely separate your son from his ex-husband and his upbringing. One approach could be to gradually introduce some educational concepts to influence your son, rather than directly limiting his time with his ex-husband. It's important to remember that they are still connected by blood.

(3) You might consider setting aside some time to talk with your ex-husband about your thoughts and expectations. It may be helpful to avoid dwelling on past behaviors and focus on the present and future.

I would like to express my love for the world.

I would like to extend my best wishes to you.

Hello, dear. I'm Yun, and I want you to know that I'm here for you.

The Tangshan beating incident has had a profound impact, arousing fear and stimulating crucial conversations around social governance, collective security, victim-blaming, gender equality, and exploring these issues from different perspectives.

Your marital environment immediately reminded me of my parents. I grew up watching them fight, and it left a deep fear.

You are strong and you made a choice. Despite suffering, you left, which was a courageous move. You did it because many people don't have the courage to escape.

In a dangerous environment, fear is our first and most important emotional response. It alerts us to danger and demands that we take action. It is our body's way of sending a clear and unmistakable message.

You must accept it and accept this faithful companion.

When we are subjected to violence, our immediate responses are always the best. Whether you resist, do not resist, escape, or do not escape, your body and mind have chosen the best solution, and you can always trust your body and mind.

We can change the child's surname, move house, and sever ties if we want to feel better. But will these things really make us feel safe? If we don't deal with the emotional wounds caused by violence, they can keep coming back to haunt us.

Love yourself and protect yourself. We can do more. Start with your brave choice to leave. Pay attention to your emotions and feelings. Write them down and face them head-on. Find family and friends who support you. There are people who will listen and be there for you. These people include therapists and counselors (who can accompany you on a deeper level of healing). Repeating words is a form of healing. Keep feminine protection gear at home. The power imbalance is undeniable. If your father and grandfather continue to come to the house to see the children, install a camera.

Set up emergency contacts. If anything happens, you can go to the Women's Federation or the police station for help. Take up the legal weapon.

You are a strong woman with the courage to make changes. I know it hurts, but you will get through this. You will always have people behind you, supporting you.

Hello, I'm a heart exploration coach. I'm here to help you let go, warmly accompany you, and sincerely listen to your story of emotions.

I'm sure you'll agree that the Tangshan beating incident has had a very negative impact on society. China is a society ruled by law, and it will not let a villain go unpunished. The law punishes villains while also protecting the innocent, which is great news for us all!

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. It's clear that you've been through a lot, both physically and mentally. Domestic violence is a terrible ordeal, and it's heartbreaking to see how it's affected you, your ex-husband, his family, and your marriage.

Physical suffering is when you feel pain in your body. Psychological suffering is when you feel bad inside. And it's your mind that causes your fear.

The famous ABC of emotions law says that A is the thing that sets off your emotions, B is what you believe because of how you perceive and evaluate the thing that set off your emotions, and C is what you do as a result of your emotions. Your emotions have nothing to do with the thing that set them off, but everything to do with how you perceive it.

Perception: This is called "belief" and is an individual's perception of things. We're going to focus on psychological suffering, which has three viruses:

1. Helpless (powerless): We all feel this way sometimes! It's when we feel like we can't do what others can do. It's when we compare ourselves to others and feel the pain of not measuring up. This can make it less likely that you will succeed.

2. Hopeless: This one is tough. It's about feeling like you're stuck in a rut, unable to move forward. It's about feeling like you're stuck in a small circle, unable to see beyond it. It's about feeling like your whole life is just one day, and it's impossible to make a change. It's about feeling like you're unable to innovate, and it's about feeling like you don't have any value.

3. No value: It's so important to remember that your personal value is not defined by your possessions. Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead to people giving up their careers or even their lives.

I can see that your experience of domestic violence once made you feel helpless and hopeless. I know you changed your children's surname and distanced yourself from them, but I can also see that you are still filled with fear inside, worrying that you cannot escape their "claws" and be tortured again. I can even see that you feel powerless to protect your children. I can see that you feel worthless and unworthy of being a mother.

Suffering has a purpose. It can make our souls grow stronger and give our lives more depth. It's part of life, and by "acknowledging" it, we can turn it into strength.

"Acceptance" is all about letting go of the fight against pain. And guess what? It can reduce pain by 50%!

Let's take another peek at fear, shall we? It's a curious thing, isn't it? It has two opposing effects on our lives.

One is the power of building walls.

It's only natural that we build walls to protect ourselves. Think of a mother who's worried about her child swimming. She'll do whatever it takes to keep her little one safe, even if it means putting up a "wall" to keep them out of the water.

And then there's the other side of the coin, which is all about tearing down walls!

Walls are great for keeping us safe, but they can sometimes make it harder for us to connect with the world around us. When we feel disconnected, it can make us feel a little lonely.

When we feel safe and secure, some of us will even go out of our way to knock down a few walls! When we do, we open up our world, make more connections, and find ourselves with more friends and more opportunities to do the things we love.

These two forces are a bit contradictory and in conflict with each other. It's like they're competing for space in our lives! And that competition determines the size of our life space.

A person with a strong desire to tear down walls has a bigger world to explore and enjoy. A person with a strong desire to build walls has a smaller world, but it's a world that's perfectly suited to them.

Your world is as big as you allow it to be! It all depends on how secure you feel.

I've found that boosting a sense of self-worth can really help to heal feelings of insecurity. You can read more about this in my article "It turns out that the root cause of psychological problems is..." on my personal homepage.

We all feel afraid sometimes. But when there's a lack of security, how can we overcome our fears?

Behind every trauma is a treasure waiting to be found! All you have to do is tear down the wall and discover it.

It's totally normal to feel afraid when you're in an abusive situation. But there's more to it than that. Take a moment to really feel the fear, and then you'll start to see what I mean.

2. Take that first step with courage in your heart. If you don't take it, how will you ever get where you want to be?

There are so many ways to get out of an existing predicament! You could move house, change cities, or seek legal assistance. It's important to keep looking forward, and the other person will also get tired at some point.

3. Transform fear into anger:

Fear and anger are two emotions that often go hand in hand. When things don't happen as we expect, when our needs aren't met, or when we feel like our boundaries are being crossed, it's only natural to feel angry. It's a powerful emotion that can help us defend our personal space and protect our loved ones.

When we feel hurt, it's natural to feel angry. Anger can protect us and our loved ones, and it's a great way to guard our family, territory, and property. It's the energy that keeps us safe and secure.

Anger can sometimes turn into aggression, which isn't always the right thing to do. But there's no such thing as "wrong" anger. It's just a force that protects us.

Please don't let anyone take advantage of your kindness!

4. It's okay to say "I'm scared." You can even say it out loud! Expressing your fears can help you feel less scared. In fact, you'll probably feel 50% less scared! Try breaking down some of those unnecessary walls. Do something you've been afraid to do.

You can do it! Break through!

For the sake of your child's happiness, you must also be brave. It's so important to remember that children growing up in an environment of domestic violence also need to be healed physically and mentally.

I really hope this has been helpful for you, and for the world. And I love you so much ?

If you'd like to keep chatting, just click 'Find a coach' in the top right or bottom of the page. I'd love to keep in touch and see how we can support each other!

Hello, host, I'm truly sorry for what you've been through. I can also sense your deep fear of your ex-husband and his family. You made the courageous decision to get a divorce, and you have already demonstrated a level of strength and resilience that many women who have experienced domestic violence lack.

I admire your courage in facing these challenges. It is understandable to feel apprehensive about having to interact with your ex-husband and his father regularly, especially given the potential for social media to evoke painful memories.

I hope you will find the following suggestions helpful.

It might be helpful to distinguish between fact and imagination.

In the past, differences in values and personalities may have contributed to family conflicts, which unfortunately led to instances of domestic violence. This is a fact.

It is important to remember that you are divorced, and that is a fact. The incident in Tangshan is also a fact.

It may also be the case that your ex-husband and his father need to get in touch with you.

It's understandable to be afraid of the possibility of being beaten again. Once this thought arises, it's natural to feel that it might happen.

However, this may not be the whole truth.

Secondly, it would be advisable to choose a reasonable way to protect yourself.

It is understandable that feelings of fear can sometimes prevent us from confronting potential dangers. For instance, we may avoid flames because we fear fire, or we may decline to swim because we fear water. Similarly, we might refuse to meet with our ex-husband because we fear the potential consequences of doing so.

If you are concerned about the possibility of injury, it may be helpful to maintain a certain distance. It is inevitable that you will continue to engage in activities such as cooking, lighting birthday candles, and honoring your elders.

If you are afraid of getting a rash from a life jacket, you might want to consider wearing one anyway.

If you are afraid of your ex-husband and his father, you are also welcome to bring your relatives and friends. Please do not hesitate to ask for help if you need it.

Thirdly, it may be helpful to consider letting go of the past in a way that feels right for you.

I'm not sure how long the original poster has been divorced from her ex-husband. It seems that the painful memories that have been stirred up by the Tangshan incident, and even the very strong reactions, may indicate that this matter has not yet passed in your heart.

The host has experienced a form of inhumane treatment, and there are still a number of negative emotions in his heart that have not yet been resolved. These include feelings of hatred for his ex-husband and his father, as well as resentment, sadness, grievances, despair, and helplessness.

If you feel comfortable doing so, you can share these painful emotions with your counselor.

Perhaps it would be helpful to try to find happier, sunnier, and more beautiful things in life to focus on.

You might consider going into nature to find inner peace.

If you are not feeling well, you have the option of refusing to meet with them and using stalling tactics.

It would be advisable to make it clear to them that any meetings must take place in public. Perhaps it would be best not to invite them to your home.

Their visits are mainly to see the children, so you might consider letting go of the children and doing other things. When it's time, you could pick up the children and limit your contact with them. You might also think about moving to a place where they can't find you.

Perhaps it would be helpful to find a place where you feel safe.

You have already done a commendable job, so it's important to recognize your efforts and allow yourself the space to process your emotions. Consider treating yourself to a bouquet of flowers and a piece of cake, and allow yourself to simply enjoy the moment.

Fourthly, it is important to continue living your life courageously.

Life goes on every day. They are no longer your rivals or your enemies. They have nothing to do with you. They are not a significant part of your life. We can choose not to devote excessive attention to someone who is not a central figure in our lives.

It would be beneficial to strive for inner peace each day and to treat those who deserve it kindly.

I am optimistic that the original poster will be able to find their own strength, choose the right way to protect themselves, believe in themselves, and find inner peace, tranquility, and happiness.

Good day.

As a heart exploration coach, I believe that learning is the key to physical well-being.

From your description, I can ascertain that you are experiencing a range of intense emotions, including fear, worry, anxiety, pain, and helplessness.

I will not delve into the specifics of the fear you are experiencing in light of the recent Tangshan violence. However, I would like to offer you three pieces of advice:

Firstly, I recommend that you attempt to accept your current circumstances.

This will help you to think more clearly about your next steps.

You referenced the recent Tangshan violent assault case, which prompted you to consider your former husband's history of abuse. Despite being divorced, the fear instilled by him and his father still persists, and you are constantly concerned that they will assault you again. In fact, if someone else were in your position, they would likely share your apprehension and anxiety, as all individuals who have experienced abuse tend to carry long-lasting fears. The recent Tangshan incident has only heightened your current sense of vulnerability. It is essential to acknowledge and accept your current state of mind, recognizing the underlying fear and lack of clarity. This will provide the mental space to consider alternative options, as your mind will remain clouded by fear otherwise.

Furthermore, allowing yourself to try to accept your situation will make it possible to promote change in the status quo. This may seem counterintuitive, but it is indeed the case that change is based on allowing for no change.

Secondly, I recommend that you adopt a rational perspective on your own situation.

Rational thinking can assist in gaining a deeper understanding of oneself and the surrounding reality.

To rationalize, you must complete the following two tasks:

Firstly, it is important to understand that you are not the same as the woman who was beaten up in Tangshan. Furthermore, your ex-husband and his father are not representative of the violent men that are often in the news.

In other words, the probability of encountering a violent incident in the news is nearly zero. Similarly, it is unlikely that you will experience violence from your former spouse or threats from his father.

Even if they do strike you, you are likely to be able to handle the situation. You elected to pursue a divorce as a means of addressing the issue, and if they become violent again, you can contact the police.

Furthermore, it is evident from news reports that violent perpetrators are being apprehended and prosecuted on a regular basis. This demonstrates that our country's legal system is capable of providing protection for its citizens.

Secondly, it is important to recognise that the current situation can be altered, as you have the capacity to make changes.

When you take the initiative to act on your own behalf, the status of your relationship with them will naturally evolve, and the apprehension you currently experience will gradually dissipate.

I recommend that you focus on your own needs and consider how you can improve your situation.

When you evaluate the situation rationally, you may also be able to identify the best course of action. At this juncture, it is important to focus on your own performance and strive to do your best.

As an example, you can utilize a worst-case scenario approach to consider potential courses of action in the event that the situation you are concerned about actually occurs. This type of visualization can provide a degree of preparation, including mental preparation, and also helps to relax you because you know that if they do hit you, you can call the police, seek external support, and so on.

You may also inform them that should they wish to see their son, they are welcome to do so at their residence. As you previously stated in your description, this is one method of reducing direct contact.

It would be advisable to remain calm and avoid emotional outbursts when speaking to your former spouse. Avoid making any disparaging remarks, as you are no longer married and have no further obligation to each other. This approach will help you maintain a professional demeanor, which may encourage him to reconsider his stance.

It is also important to live your life to the fullest and strive to become a better and stronger person. This can be achieved through hard work and providing a nurturing environment for your children. Regarding the issue of changing your son's surname and maintaining distance, I can comprehend the rationale behind it. However, as you have rightly pointed out, it is not a practical solution. Legally, they are entitled to interact, and from a child's developmental perspective, he requires paternal affection. His father should be a positive influence, so I do not see the necessity for such a drastic measure. It is essential to focus on your own actions and avoid being overly influenced by the past. This will help you feel more in control and improve your overall well-being. In summary, it is crucial to recognize that you have the power to influence the situation for the better.

Once you begin taking action, the fear will naturally dissipate, as action is often the antidote to worry and fear.

I hope this information is helpful to you. If you would like to discuss further, please click on "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom of the page. I will then be available to communicate with you one-on-one.

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to inquire about a matter that has arisen. Kind regards, [Your name]

The incident at the Tangshan barbecue restaurant is truly regrettable. However, I am confident that the legal process will be fair and result in a satisfactory outcome.

From your description, it seems that your husband also has a tendency towards domestic violence and is very extreme. He has even threatened you with a knife. This kind of behavior from your husband may also be brought about by his own family of origin. As a child, he always learned how to get along in his family of origin, so your husband has also developed this kind of violent behavior. You are also very scared and don't know how to deal with it. This is a common reaction among women in such situations, as there is only a zero chance and countless chances of domestic violence. This kind of violent behavior is actually addictive to a person. If you condone your husband's behavior, it will likely evolve into a violent way of getting along.

It is recommended that you avoid meeting with your husband and also avoid conflicts with him. Should your husband attempt to use violence against you, it is recommended that you seek evidence in a timely manner, preserve it in a timely manner, seek the assistance of a lawyer, and allow the legal system to make a corresponding judgment.

When faced with a challenging situation, it is important to recognize your emotions and assess your ability to resolve the issue at hand. This will help you determine the best course of action to achieve a positive outcome. It is also essential to maintain a sense of control and stability in the face of adversity. This can be achieved by employing rational thinking to problem-solve and by learning to manage your emotions effectively. Finally, it is crucial to prioritize your personal well-being and to utilize legal resources to safeguard your rights. By doing so, you can navigate challenging circumstances with confidence and resilience.

I hope this information is useful to you.