There are always two situations that cannot be handled; how to deal with emergencies?

Injury and separation are unfortunate occurrences that we all dread. Despite our best efforts, there are often unexpected twists and turns in life that leave us feeling uncertain and unstable. We may feel a sense of emptiness in our hearts, and it can be challenging to find ways to replenish our energy and face our blind spots. We must acknowledge that, despite our best efforts, we still have blind spots.

It is not uncommon to experience feelings of anxiety when faced with the prospect of parting, a sentiment that may have first surfaced during our formative years. We tend to look back with fondness on the memories we have made along the way, recalling the adage that "a mother's hands hold the strings of a child's clothing; a wayfarer's clothes are sewn with care; she sews them tightly before departure, for fear that he will be delayed and not return soon." It is natural to feel a sense of apprehension about the possibility of not seeing our loved ones or our familiar surroundings again after parting.

How might we best navigate the two situations when we find ourselves ill-prepared to handle unexpected events?

I have come to recognize that what was once innocent and carefree is now more nuanced. I am learning to distinguish right from wrong.

How might we approach the challenge of separation when we are living a mature, stable, and decent adult life?

➗➗➗➗Parting

It might be helpful to consider the idea of sudden change.

It is often the case that leaving one's familiar environment causes a strong sense of unease. It is natural to be inclined to keep oneself in familiar surroundings, where one is more likely to feel safe.

It can be challenging to embrace the unfamiliar when we are used to a certain level of comfort and predictability.

It is natural to want to stay in our comfort zone and avoid change.

It is also worth noting that some people may find returning to work after the holidays to be a challenging transition.

It is still the Chinese New Year holiday, and the children have not yet started school. Many adults, however, have already returned to work. I believe that many people have not yet returned to work for one reason or another. Spring is usually a time of parting.

It might also be a good time to consider whether you would like to make some changes to your career plan. It is quite normal to experience a range of emotions, including feelings of sadness about leaving something behind and feelings of nostalgia for the past. Some people also find it challenging to adjust to a new offline environment when changing jobs.

In particular, offline work requires a great deal of cooperation, communication between both parties, and constant obedience to orders from superiors. Many things are unpredictable, not to mention that the work system in some places could be improved, and there is even a lack of respect in some chaotic environments.

It is understandable to feel afraid and uncomfortable in such circumstances. There may also be unexpected events at work. For example, being asked to take on additional tasks, work overtime, or go on a business trip can disrupt our calculations and plans, and may lead to feelings of resentment.

It may also be helpful to consider that you are actively learning. As a dedicated and caring coach, I recommend that you take the Inner Animal Archetypes psychological test to gain insight into your own character blind spots. It's possible that your current situation has not yet allowed you to fully realize your potential, which can naturally lead to feelings of apprehension about change. It's important to remember that we all need to push beyond our comfort zones, encourage ourselves to meet challenges as they arise, and embrace a mindset of continuous growth and exploration. If you feel comfortable doing so, it might be beneficial to speak with a psychological counselor.

Could I ask you a question?

Good morning, my name is Qingxiang, and I would like to discuss this with you.

Your description evoked a strong emotional response in me.

I admire your youthful innocence and carefree spirit, as well as your quickness to take sides and offer assistance. In contrast, I was the type of person who was largely controlled by my parents during my youth. I was inclined to meekly go about my days, listening to the opinions of my parents, teachers, and even the class committee. I tended to divide people in positions of authority into two categories: myself as the obedient, implementer, and servant, and them as the managers, arrangers, and those in positions of power.

As a result, I have learned to exercise self-control and restraint in my personal life. I have found it challenging to express my anger, even in private, as I often feel the need to vent it in a public setting. This is one of the reasons I admire your younger years.

I empathize with your situation. As an adult, you need to be mature and stable, and you want to live a decent life. Now I am over 40, and looking back on my younger days, even though I have a lot of regrets, I can only accept them and move forward.

Furthermore, the combined pressures of family, work, and life in general can be overwhelming. Despite this, we persevere, maintaining a positive appearance and conduct to ensure we meet the expectations of others.

What is the optimal solution to your problem?

1) You have identified two key challenges: the difficulty in facing the end of a relationship and the challenge of responding effectively to unexpected events. It is also evident that you have a strong appetite for learning and knowledge. You have engaged with a diverse range of literature and sought insights from a vast repository of knowledge. It is likely that you have already identified solutions, but these remain largely conceptual and require further development to become operational in the real world.

Your awareness is correct. We are all similar in our circumstances. Over the past year, I have completed online courses and attended offline discussions, communicating with a range of individuals. I have found that there are few people in life who are unsure of how to proceed. Most people are similar to you and me. We can all identify areas for improvement in our lives, and we have all found solutions in books. Whenever we discuss these issues, we feel regret and sadness. I have also been seeking a solution. In the process of studying psychology, I have gradually found a direction, and I am willing to discuss with you what to do.

(2) From the perspective of cognitive behavioral theory, in order to modify our emotional response to a given situation, it is first necessary to adjust our perception of that situation.

I will provide an example from one of my courses with Master Zhao Yuping. During the course, he learned that there were only a limited number of prizes to be awarded and that they would be given out on a first-come, first-served basis. At that time, everyone was waiting for the elevator, but going upstairs via the escalator would be faster, allowing them to collect their prizes without any concerns.

The teacher then informed the student that the prize would be given to him on the escalator. When the teacher took the elevator to go upstairs, he saw the student holding the prize with a look of reluctance on his face. The teacher was quite puzzled and asked the student why. The student explained that by making him take the escalator, the teacher was being disrespectful and did not think he was qualified to ride the elevator with his teacher.

Teacher Zhao Yuping's reply: "I hope you can come up with a solution earlier so you can receive your prize."

Recently, there have been a plethora of short videos online. One such video featured the following quote: "What you think you think is what you think." In life, we encounter a multitude of situations, both favorable and unfavorable. We all have our own standards for determining whether something is good or bad. However, upon closer examination, it becomes evident that everyone's standards are unique. Consequently, when confronted with the same situation, the perspective and approach taken by each individual differ, resulting in varying emotions and outcomes.

3) In response to your question, I encourage you to try the method I mentioned above and analyze things from these perspectives.

"Analyze things from four perspectives."

Your own perspective, the other person's perspective, the perspective of other people, and the perspective of the matter itself.

You can analyze the two problems you face, "parting" and "unexpected events," from four perspectives. Attempt to identify four distinct outcomes for one problem. Do you feel a sudden sense of clarity? It has become evident that there is not just one perspective on any given situation, nor is there just one potential outcome.

Naturally, adjusting one's perception is a pivotal step. It is also essential to consistently practice this approach in one's daily life, analyzing concerns through this lens, to facilitate personal growth.

However, in the process of practicing, I suggest that you begin with tasks that have less emotional impact and gradually increase the difficulty level. This will help you become more comfortable with various problems in life.

My name is Qingxiang. I am writing to share some thoughts and suggestions on how to address your issue. I hope you find them helpful.

I would like to take this opportunity to extend my personal regards to you and to express my appreciation for your work.

As the questioner stated, if one does not possess a modicum of temper and willfulness during one's formative years, it is not possible to be designated a "young person." Subsequent to undergoing a process of socialization, adults will gradually become more refined and less assertive.

1. The optimal outcome is a more favorable reunion.

In consideration of the prevailing work environment, it is uncommon for individuals to maintain their position within the same organizational unit. Even when they do, their colleagues are often subject to mobility, necessitating a transition to a new environment.

Since one cannot control the changes that occur in one's environment, it is possible to adjust one's mentality in order to cope with these changes. The process of parting and reintegration may be somewhat uncomfortable, but a new environment often presents new opportunities and a chance for a fresh start. Furthermore, it can facilitate one's ability to adapt to new circumstances.

As the adage states, parting is for a more auspicious reunion. Frequently, we aspire for time to be suspended at a specific point; however, life progresses, and we must advance ourselves. Rather than passively following directives, it is more advantageous to proactively investigate and enhance our abilities while adapting to the novel environment. This approach may facilitate more optimal growth.

It is accurate to conclude that a novel environment necessitates a period of adjustment. During this interval, an analysis can be conducted to ascertain the nature of the new changes, identify one's strengths and weaknesses, and determine the optimal course of action for future adaptation.

2. Given the emergency status of the situation, it would be prudent to prioritize learning to think calmly.

It is evident that unanticipated occurrences have the potential to disrupt one's arrangements and plans. However, such events have already occurred. It is imperative to recognize that resentment and self-blame are ineffective methods for resolving issues, and that avoidance and procrastination only serve to exacerbate the problem. Consequently, in the future, when confronted with a similar scenario, it is advisable to allot oneself a brief period of reflection.

For example, one might consider whether this incident has occurred previously, whether one possesses the requisite ability to respond and solve problems, and who one might consult and report to if one lacks the necessary ability. Additionally, one can conduct an analysis based on the actual situation and respond in a timely manner.

In the absence of a clear understanding of the appropriate course of action, it is advisable to seek guidance from individuals with relevant experience. Observe their approach and learn from their methods, noting any patterns or insights that can inform your own decision-making process.

It is important to note that daydreaming can indeed exert significant psychological pressure. However, upon reflection, it becomes evident that many of these thoughts are not destined to materialize. Instead of fostering unnecessary apprehension, it is more beneficial to engage in constructive analysis by listing potential scenarios and their associated outcomes, developing the ability to synthesize information, and discerning between what is realistic and what is merely hypothetical.

My name is Xiaofan, and I extend my love to the entire world.

Hello! I'll give you a hug.

You may feel helpless and frustrated when you can't control unexpected events in life.

The separation and unexpected events you mentioned cannot be controlled by our willpower. When faced with things we cannot control, we can only accept them.

You focus on these things because your ideal self is strong and your real self is weak. They're out of balance.

The ideal self is a projection of a person's internal narcissism. It first appears in adolescence, when physical development and maturity stimulate the individual's narcissistic needs. During this period, a person's need to be recognized, affirmed, respected, appreciated, admired, and needed is the strongest. To avoid frustration, the individual will create an ideal self to supplement the deficiencies and imperfections of the real self.

If you're bullied, you might fantasize about being a hero to make yourself feel better. But if you can't become that hero, you'll feel frustrated. If your fantasy is too powerful and you can't achieve it, you'll lose confidence and feel inferior. This is an unhealthy form of excessive narcissism.

Everyone has a little narcissism, and it's good for you. It helps you understand yourself better. You can accept your own shortcomings and still appreciate your strengths. You can't control everything, and that's okay. When you're sad about something, it's okay to feel that way. Don't blame yourself for it. Try to see it as a new challenge.

Try to fix your narcissism, let go of the fantasy of omnipotent narcissism, and accept your limitations. Allow yourself to be less than good, but that doesn't mean you are bad.

Do what you can, accept what you can't, and you'll become more confident.

I'm Yang Lili. I love you, world.

Hello!

Your writing is romantic and feels real.

About parting

We say goodbye to the past and move on.

It's the cleaners, the cafeteria ladies, the janitors at school. Today, we may be seeing them for the last time.

People aren't sad because relationships vary.

When people part, believe it's for a better encounter. We're all independent with our own thoughts and paths. We must take responsibility for our lives.

When people are apart, they can improve themselves and protect each other.

It's like when we were kids and our parents went to work while we went to school. It's natural.

How to handle emergencies.

Let's look at the two ways of thinking.

"Why is this so unlucky? I'm doomed!" starts the mode of blaming others.

"What's going on? Is it time to make adjustments?" "Accidents don't happen by chance; something must have gone wrong."

Which would you prefer? Which subconscious way of thinking would you like more?

Read the book with me!

I hope my answer helps. I love you!