There are only my brother and I at home. How can I tell if my family is patriarchal?

Hello friend! I totally get what you're asking.

We should embrace objective conditions as they are, without worrying whether they are patriarchal or not. Instead, we should answer this question with a resounding "We are good enough!"

When we are good enough, we will be valued, and we will have the ability to take control of our lives. We will be able to bring good things to those we think are worthy, and that is what we should be excited about!

We must know that our parents can only give us the absolute best! Having two children can be a heavy burden for a family, but it can also be an amazing adventure!

It's so important to understand the life pressures that parents face. In recent years, due to the pandemic, there has been a lot of pressure. So if you can understand their difficulties and look at things from a different perspective, not from the perspective of demanding, but from the perspective of caring, that is what being a child is all about!

Son preference is a problem of the old society. If we have the ability, let's not accept this view! You can also talk to your parents and ask them to care about you more.

And you can also repay them a little more! Running your own household is an amazing ability.

You're doing great! Keep up the good work. Believe in yourself and you'll get better and better!

I hope you're having an amazing day! I'd love to hear from you in the comments.

Dear question asker,

After reading the two questions you asked here, I can empathize with you in your current situation. I'm sending you my best wishes!

It seems like you've been through a lot over the past 20 years. After reading this, I'm not sure where to start when talking about your current situation. I've also read the feedback you've given to others. From what I've observed, your personality since childhood has led me to believe that it's not as serious as it seems. Because of that incident that bothered you, I don't think it's that serious. I'm not sure how long that incident happened, but I think that since it happened, your life should have been stable and uneventful.

In this case, I have to admire your psychological endurance. I know you haven't told anyone, and you have borne it all alone. You have really dealt with that incident on your own, and I really think you are extraordinary. Please give yourself a hug here, and give yourself a big thumbs-up too!

If it's an option for you, it might be helpful to talk to someone you trust about the issue you're facing. I can sense that you might be hesitant to talk to your mother, given her short temper. It's not uncommon for children and parents to have this kind of dynamic, but even if there's hurt, it often stems from a place of genuine emotion. If you're not comfortable talking to your parents, you can also come here and talk anonymously. Expressing your feelings can help you process them and feel better in the long run.

I would like to express my desire to help you find a way to make this event have less and less of an impact on you. We are in our prime and cannot always dwell on that one thing. Perhaps it would be helpful to let it go completely with the wind of the past. We have grown up and we can withstand the wind and rain. In the future, we still want to live a normal life and enjoy the beauty of love and marriage.

I've been holding back a comment for a long time, and I'm not sure how you'll react when I say it. I thought I'd better just say it!

I wonder if I might suggest that, from any perspective, your family should not have the phenomenon of son preference.

Please accept my apologies for not sharing your thoughts when you have these thoughts. This is what I think: for an average family, after ten years, another child comes along, and what is more, it happens to be a good word, with both a son and a daughter, a boy and a girl!

From your description, I also get the impression that your mother's love for you is expressed in her nagging. My mother was also like that, so when I turned 30, I once told her, "Why don't you ever scold me? I feel like I did everything wrong when I was little."

It seems that you are often scolded, which is a common experience among mothers.

You may be wondering why I haven't treated your brother the same way. I can understand that, being ten years his senior, I may not fully grasp the dynamics of parenting at that age. It's possible that by the time I've gained that understanding, your brother's parents may have lost some control.

He has his own ideas, which may be seen as one-sided by some.

I believe your love for your brother is also very deep, and I sense that your brother's love for you is also there. Rather than focusing on the things you've said, I feel that the atmosphere in your family is very, very good. You are also very kind and simple. It's clear that you are really very good to your brother's two children in the family, and you also have a deep love for your family.

I would also like to respectfully suggest that your current job, in my humble opinion, is really very good. I recognize that my perspective may be influenced by my age and limitations. Unlike you, who are full of energy and have particularly high ideals, I believe that, having made up your mind, you must have your own ideas. I have simply expressed my own personal, small point of view.

If I may be so bold as to ask, would you be open to reconsidering if you haven't yet quit your job? Could it be that this particular role isn't the right fit for us?

Or is it still in our hearts? I can see that there is an unsolvable knot, and you have also said that you have psychological problems. In that case, I am afraid that if you cannot untie the knot in your heart in the future, you may encounter some challenges even if you find another job. Therefore, I think it may be helpful to focus on your inner self and try to make your heart strong.

I believe that either way, you will be able to live a better life in the future based on your abilities.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider letting go of this recent idea of favoring boys. From the perspective of the money spent on raising children that you cited, it might not be the most accurate way to view the situation.

In any case, I feel that your family loves you very much. I hope you can enjoy this time with them at a pace that suits you.

I would like to take a moment to extend my warmest regards to you and the entire world.

Good morning, My name is Yan Shiqi, and I am honored to have the opportunity to answer your question.

After reviewing the question, I would like to extend my support and encouragement to the original poster.

The majority of parents exhibit a tendency to favor their sons over their daughters, a phenomenon that is shaped by the environmental and familial influences they experience during their upbringing.

This is something that is beyond our control as children.

However, there is an alternative perspective and frame of mind that can be adopted in this matter.

The rationale behind the disparate treatment is rooted in the perception that parents are advancing in age and that their son bears the responsibility of providing for them in their twilight years. In the event of their son's marriage, he is unlikely to depart from the family unit.

Furthermore, when their daughter gets married, she leaves their family to go to another family, which often results in parents treating their sons and daughters differently.

From a positive perspective, while raising the questioner, the parents also provided an opportunity for education. The questioner should take advantage of this rare opportunity to learn well and enhance their life.

It is not reasonable to expect parents to love their children equally. However, there should be a discernible difference in the way they treat their two children.

I also understand the following saying, which is particularly relevant in the context of parenting: parents who spoil their children often lack the capacity to give when their parents need it, because they have been spoiled themselves.

However, parents who genuinely respect and obey their parents are frequently those who treat their children in a normal manner.

This is not a cause for complaint. It may be that you were born to repay a debt of gratitude.

The Master advised that hatred should be repaid with straightforwardness, and that kindness should be reciprocated in the same manner.

As children, our responsibility is to fulfill our obligations, which will ultimately lead to inner peace.

It is possible that parents may not fully comprehend the situation as they age.

It is crucial to understand our own value, rather than attempting to influence our parents' perceptions.

When you feel confused, you may find it helpful to review historical data and relevant literature.

In comparison to the parents of Fan Shengmei in "Ode to Joy," it would appear that OP's parents are in a more favorable position.

In the world, there will always be individuals who possess greater strength and capabilities than others. Similarly, there will also be those who are less able or powerful. It is also true that there are many parents who are democratic and loving, as well as those who are more biased than our own parents.

If you dwell on this issue, it will only serve to exacerbate the situation.

It is time to open your eyes to the better world outside. You deserve it.

This is my response. I hope it proves useful to you.

Hello, question asker! I'm sending you a big, warm hug from afar to comfort you.

We have similar experiences, and it's so nice to know I'm not alone! I also grew up in a family that valued boys over girls. My mother always said that girls belonged to other families, and that her son and daughter-in-law were the ones who belonged to her family. This made me feel sad every time I heard it, but there was nothing I could do about it. Like you, I was admitted to the high school in our county, and then to university. Although I didn't feel any care or attention from my family while I was at school, I still loved them in my heart. I am the youngest of four children, with two brothers and an older sister. After I worked hard to get into university, my brothers and sister always said that they had given me the opportunity to go to university, and I felt guilty towards them. I felt that they had been too good to me by giving me the opportunity to go to university, and that I had to study hard and repay them when I got out. What I didn't realize was that the truth was that they had not been admitted to the key high school in our county, not because they had given me the opportunity, as they always told me. The ridiculous thing is that I believed this for many years.

I can totally see how tough it is to grow up in a family like that. Your brother has it much easier. He can buy whatever he wants and no one says anything if he doesn't want to do the housework. You, on the other hand, may face many restrictions. Your parents are very strict with your finances. Even when you come back from vacation, you still have to help out at home and can't sleep in any longer. This repeated unfair treatment makes you feel very painful inside and you are also very disappointed with this family. But you are still in school, you cannot be financially independent, and you still have to rely on your family's support to continue your path of learning.

Question owner, give me a hug! Your birth is what it is, but you have the power to decide your own future path. Our path to education might be a bit more challenging than others, but we still have the path to education. Our family has been like this for a long time, and you may not be able to change them, but you can change yourself. Just make good use of the limited resources for your education that they give you, work hard, and seize every opportunity to improve yourself. I believe that you can definitely lead the life you want through your own hard work.

Come on, question author, fight hard for the life you want! The world and I love you, and we're here to support you every step of the way!

Good day, question asker. My name is Evan.

From the questioner's description, it can be seen that the questioner feels that his parents adhere to a patriarchal concept of men and women, and there are various indications that his parents treat the questioner and his brother differently.

It would be beneficial to understand why parents treat the questioner in this manner and who may have instilled these different concepts in them.

The parents' behavior towards the questioner makes the questioner feel unappreciated and discriminated against. While this may seem normal to the parents, it can have a negative impact on the questioner's mental health and well-being.

I would like to extend my support to the OP and encourage them to be courageous in embracing their authentic self. Given that the OP has sought guidance on this matter through this platform, I would like to offer some straightforward advice based on the OP's question:

It is important to understand the motives behind the parents' treatment of the questioner.

It would be beneficial to understand why the parents of the questioner are treating the questioner in this manner. What circumstances have led to this treatment? How do they treat their daughter? Did their parents teach them this way in their original family?

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether this is a common phenomenon in China, or if the OP is the only individual to have experienced this treatment. The manner in which children are treated is typically instilled in parents from their original family.

This model is deeply ingrained in their psyche, influencing their approach to parenting. They believe this is the optimal way to treat their children.

It is important to understand your parents' motives so that you can release your emotions, treat them more calmly, and be more composed.

It is important to communicate with your parents.

It would be beneficial for the questioner to communicate with their parents when they are in a positive frame of mind. This would allow them to discuss their feelings and thoughts in a constructive manner. Despite the questioner's strong affection for their parents, it is also important to express their desire to be respected and understood.

The questioner should attempt to communicate with their parents about their feelings regarding their parents' behavior. It would be beneficial to ascertain their parents' views and motives.

It is not uncommon for parents' views on their children to be influenced by the ideas and patterns of previous generations, which may have been adopted from their own families. These factors can also directly impact the individual seeking clarification. Effective communication with parents can help to clarify the situation.

It is recommended that you engage in physical activity.

It is to be expected that you will experience negative emotions when faced with the behavior of your parents. One effective method of combating these emotions is to become more active.

If you are seeking to improve your mood, we recommend that you engage in physical activity and spend time outdoors. Exercise has been shown to improve circulation, providing the brain with more oxygen and reducing stress. Additionally, the body releases chemicals that contribute to feelings of happiness.

It is recommended that you seek professional psychological support.

If you are experiencing difficulty in accepting your parents' behavior and are unsure of how to communicate with them, you may wish to consider seeking professional psychological support. I would suggest that you could look for a suitable psychological counselor or listening therapist on a psychological platform, with a view to discussing your concerns with them. I believe that they will have the requisite communication skills to facilitate a more fluent dialogue between you and your parents.

If the school employs a psychological counselor, the questioner may also consult with the teacher.

Embrace your individuality and strengths.

It is important to pursue the activities that bring you joy and align with your values. Accept your current state of mind and engage in self-care when you are feeling low.

It is important to prioritize your own happiness, including the occasional indulgence in a sweet treat. These foods have a positive effect on our bodies and minds, and they can contribute to a sense of well-being. It is essential to ensure that your actions do not negatively impact others while pursuing your own happiness.

It is important to avoid allowing negative emotions to take over your life.

It is my hope that this response will prove helpful to the individual who posed the question.

Hello, my name is Strawberry!

From what the author says, it seems like her parents treated her and her brother very differently. She says her brother was born in 1989, which means she's ten years older than him. That was a long time ago! It's so sad that she's still struggling with this now. If you say that you only now realize that your family values boys over girls, it's so unfair. Did something happen that made you realize this?

Or maybe it's about son preference?

The questioner already knows the answer in her heart. She just favors her son over her daughter, that's all. In her mother's view, she may still believe that a married daughter is someone else's, so she will be stricter with her daughter and demand more of her. As a member of the family, this difference in treatment can make us feel a little uncomfortable.

The questioner's mother may feel that her brother's behavior is a kind of love, but spoiling him is actually harming him. It would be great to know more about the current situation of her brother. Generally speaking, this kind of spoiling is likely to lead to your brother developing some not-so-great concepts about life, values, and the world. But, if the questioner's brother can tell the difference for himself, then he will not let his parents' spoiling lead him to develop bad habits.

Let's try to look at the problem from another perspective.

It's totally normal for the questioner to feel bad when they're treated differently. It's sad that children often feel inferior, angry, unsatisfied, or even resentful because of their parents' son preference. The questioner's mother treats her son this way without realizing that it's wrong. So, it's understandable that the questioner feels this way, too. It's like she's been treated this way herself, and she's passed on these old ideas without realizing that they need to change.

The questioner may have wondered before why he was treated differently from his brother. It's totally understandable to feel like your mother is being patriarchal in doing so! Thinking about something that has already happened can sometimes cause more trouble. So let's try to look at this issue from another perspective. For example, by doing this, the questioner's mother has taught him to be independent and to take better care of himself. He knows that money is hard to come by and will spend it wisely.

There's a lovely saying that the reason people have worries is that they bring them upon themselves. Of course, other people can play a part, but how we view a matter is down to our own state of mind. We can't choose our parents, but we can choose the kind of life we lead, and we can achieve it through our own efforts.

☀ Take a moment for yourself to relax and recharge.

I'm not sure what made the OP think about how she was treated differently by her parents in the past, but we can't get too caught up in it. In this society, many people have experienced being treated preferentially by their parents, including myself, so I know that feeling and sense of grievance. It is precisely because I have deeply experienced that feeling that I, as a mother today, am determined not to let this kind of misconception continue to appear in my next generation.

There are so many ways the questioner can relieve their emotions!

1. Talk about it: Many people don't really care about the hurt they experienced as children, and they grew up normally. It's now easier than ever to teach yourself psychology, which can be a great way to learn and grow. However, it's also important to be aware of your own thoughts and feelings. If you find yourself identifying with some past events and feeling hurt, it's okay to acknowledge those feelings. The most important thing is to find someone you trust to talk to, someone who will listen to you and offer advice. Sharing your thoughts and emotions with someone you trust can be a great way to relieve stress and find solutions.

2. Exercise: Everyone has different tastes when it comes to sports. For me, dancing and running are my go-tos when I'm feeling down. I love letting myself sweat during a workout, then taking a hot shower after a quick break. It always makes me feel so much better!

3. Go out for a walk: Go shopping with a few friends, chat about family matters, or go to a nearby park by yourself to get close to nature's flowers and trees. Nature has a way of embracing our negative emotions. As you breathe in the fresh air and let out the depression inside, you'll feel much better.

It's time to face this past event head-on and choose to let go of the harm these past events have caused you. Now that you've grown up and have the ability to bring yourself the life you want, it's time to live your life more happily!

I really hope my answer helps the questioner, and I wish you all the best!

Hello, my situation is almost the opposite of yours. From my perspective, having a younger brother has been a source of relief, as he has helped me share some of the pressure.

It began when I was in junior high school. On occasion, I overheard my younger brother and my mother discussing their concerns. They would say things like, "I wonder why you don't seem to care about your sister as much as you do about me. It seems like you've given your sister a cell phone, but not me. You don't take my sister's New Year's money, and it seems like you don't care if she eats snacks."

Could it be that it's not because of son preference, but because parents really don't have time to take care of the eldest child, so they can only focus most of their attention on the younger one? I wonder if 400 yuan a month for college is really a bit low. Even if you go home every weekend, it's less than 20 yuan per day for food, so I'm not sure what the prices are like at your school. Would it be possible to discuss it with your family again? Buying some skin care products and cosmetics is also appropriate, so perhaps you could have a good talk with your parents.

I have also read the answers of other people. It is true that you can live with your son in the future, so even if you buy a house or something, you will buy it for your son. However, your daughter will also receive a dowry when she gets married. My mother occasionally reminds me to be gentle with my younger brother, and that after they are gone, I will be left with only my younger brother as my closest relative, and so on. It might be helpful to have a good talk about it. They may just not be aware of it, not that they are deliberately targeting you.

It might be helpful to speak up and ask for more. Sometimes, children who are upset about something get something to drink.

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first!

I can see that you feel deeply aggrieved, longing to be loved, valued, and supported, and I'm here to help!

When you feel that you are being treated unfairly by your parents, you have the power to make a change! It's time to speak up and share your true feelings and needs. You deserve to be treated with respect and love. Don't internalize your parents' way of treating you. You are worthy of a better way. You are a strong, capable, and amazing girl. You have the power to choose your own path. What are you worried about and afraid of when you choose to suppress and hide your true emotions? For example, what does it mean to you to be rejected, disliked, and refused? You can overcome these challenges and become the best version of yourself. You are capable of anything you set your mind to.

Does it mean that you are not good enough, and you are unable to accept this part of yourself? Absolutely not! You are worthy of love and acceptance. Being disliked, rejected, and harshly criticized by your own biological parents is equivalent to being abandoned. This can be especially traumatic for children, especially the younger the age, the stronger the fear will be. In other words, the reason behind your choice to suppress and hide your true feelings and needs is out of self-protection instinct. This is something you can overcome!

How others treat you is largely determined by how you treat yourself. So when you feel that you are not being treated fairly, you must try to bravely speak up about your inner feelings and needs, so that your parents will become aware of this. As for whether they will change their attitude towards you, that is their own choice and decision. But you have the right to fight for the love and support you deserve, and you can do it!

I'm Lily, the little listener at the Q&A Pavilion! The world and I love you!

Hello, my dear friend! I'm sending you a big, warm 360-degree hug!

Isn't it fascinating to think about life? You always thought you were important, but then one day you discovered that you weren't actually your parents' favorite child. It can be a bit sad, right?

After reading your description with great care, I will gladly share my thoughts with you. As to whether parents tend to favor sons over daughters, I suggest you form your own opinion.

It seems like your parents are a little bit more lenient with your older brother and a little bit stricter with you, which is totally normal!

I just want to say that we all have expectations of each other, and society has certain expectations of everyone, too.

Take teachers, for instance. They're expected to share their knowledge and help their students solve problems. Officials are expected to be responsible for the people they serve. And waiters are expected to be patient. If these folks don't meet these expectations, they might feel like they're not doing a good job. And that can put a bit of pressure on them.

Our society has a lot of expectations for men! We want them to make a name for themselves, support their families, and be filial to their parents.

The expectations placed on women ultimately come down to motherhood, which is such a beautiful thing! It includes passing on the family line, taking care of the children, being filial to the in-laws, and being a good helpmate to the man.

Oh yes, we've reached the 21st century and we've even ventured beyond the earth to the moon and Mars! But the expectations of society haven't really changed. What has changed is the way we express them. In the past, you could say directly, "You are the man, you have to take charge of the family, you don't need to worry about the family matters."

As a woman, you have the wonderful opportunity to take care of the household and provide a stable home for your man.

Now that men and women are equal, if you call out like that bluntly, you might be seen as a bit blunt yourself! But changing customs and mindsets is far more difficult than landing on Mars.

So, it's still the case that men's expectations of themselves, men's expectations of women, women's expectations of themselves, and women's expectations of men are influenced by tradition. And it also has to do with the physiological and psychological characteristics of the two sexes themselves.

Let's not get into the nitty-gritty, shall we?

So, parents might still raise their children in the same way as before. For example, a man should not cry, and a man should not consider household chores. A woman, even if you eat takeaway by yourself, you will have to learn to take care of your family and children in the future when you have a family and children, so you still have to learn these household chores.

In our family, before we got married, my sisters and I basically didn't do any housework. My mother didn't want us to, because she felt that it was hard enough for her to do it all, and that girls only have a few years to enjoy themselves at their parents' house. I totally get it! After getting married, you have to take care of the family, so it's fine if you do it yourself later.

A lifetime is a long time, and a few years are just a tiny blip on the radar!

Of course, we don't really do much at home. We can do all the work in the fields and around the house. There's no way around it, and it's so important for a farmer's son to be independent at an early age.

Right now, my brother's cooking skills are still very good, better than mine. Of course, if you ask a man to cook with a comprehensive approach, it's a lot to ask. But he'll be happy to stir-fry the vegetables for you!

He's not too worried about other staple foods and soups, though.

I think your parents feel the same way. They think that boys should act like boys and girls should act like girls. It's totally understandable! Their views are influenced by their upbringing and the environment they grew up in.

I don't think it's fair to say that they love their sons more than their daughters.

It's worth thinking about. When you enter society, other people will probably have the same expectations of you. If you can't meet these expectations, it might be a bit tricky to get ahead.

For example, we all expect women to be meticulous and hardworking. If we aren't meticulous and hardworking, we may be criticized or even labeled negatively.

I'm not saying you have to cater to other people's expectations, but if meeting certain expectations can benefit us, why not do it? There aren't that many principles in life, so it's okay to bend the rules a little!

I know I'm going on and on, but I'm not saying that your parents did anything wrong. I'm just saying that in their eyes, they did what they thought was best, and they probably feel that it's for your own good. For example, if I sleep in at home, my mom will say to me, "When you get married, if you don't get up in the morning, other people's mothers-in-law will say that you have no upbringing."

And then there's the second thing, which is parents' protection of their daughters.

This mainly refers to the fact that parents tend to give more money to their sons than to their daughters.

This is also related to those stereotypical expectations of the sexes. For example, when a son grows up and goes to college, he is a man and needs a bit of money in his pocket to boost his confidence.

And then there's the question of daughters. Will they save up and go out with their classmates to spend money recklessly? And let's not forget sons! They also spend money recklessly, for example, putting on a brave face.

But to parents, that's just how a man is wired.

I bet you're in college now, and you're local, so you go home often. Your parents don't give you much money, and you have the same concerns. I also think it's because they live close by, so they spend less money and can ask for it at any time.

I'm not sure what made you think your parents favored sons over daughters, but from what you said, it seems like this is a pretty common attitude among many parents.

I think it's important to remember that when you're older, you may still encounter situations where your parents buy a house for your brother but not for you. This is especially true for families with average financial conditions and when house prices are so high that parents are unable to afford to buy a house for both children. It's a very realistic situation, and it's important to recognize that it has a legacy of tradition and social expectations.

I just want to say that it's not really our place to go against the grain and demand that parents be fair. We have to remember that parents are people too, with their own lives and circumstances. It's only natural that their views and ideas might not align with ours, especially given the generational gap. It's not easy for us to keep up with them, and it's even more challenging for them to keep up with us.

So, embrace the differences and the three views formed by each other's different backgrounds.

As for the question in your title, whether parents are patriarchal or not, I encourage you to think for yourself. Whether you think so or not, I hope you can accept it with an open mind.

I'm a Buddhist, and I'm often both pessimistic and motivated. I'm also a psychological counselor, and I love the world!

Hello, I hope my answer helps.

As a daughter in a family of sons and daughters, I understand the original poster's feelings. I never felt my parents favored sons over daughters. From an early age, I felt my mom and dad loved my brother and me equally. But it wasn't until I got married that I realized it's difficult for parents of our generation not to favor sons over daughters. If we always have perfect expectations of them, it will be very difficult for them to change.

My advice is to:

See your parents' limitations and understand their behavior.

Many girls feel the same way. They accept their parents as they are. Perhaps traditional culture has had a deep impact on our parents. They are making adjustments, but they still repeat these values.

It's hard to change these ideas overnight. They're more common in older generations and less common in younger ones. This is something that will take time to change.

Our parents are just like everyone else. When we were young, we expected them to be perfect and felt they could do anything. But as we grow older, we will realize they are also ordinary people with limitations. We need to accept this and understand that we can't change them. What we can do is adjust our expectations of them.

You don't have to hide your feelings. You can talk to your parents about what you need from them and listen to what they say. Maybe there are some misunderstandings?

2. Parents' attention is important, but the original family is not the whole of life.

Everyone wants their parents' attention and care, but everyone is hurt by their parents at some point. Even if our parents favor boys over girls, we can still express our needs, let go of our expectations of our parents' perfection, learn to value ourselves, and live as independent individuals.

Life is not just about childhood and parental love. You can grow and move on from your original family.

If we can accept ourselves, adjust, change, and constantly improve, we will have a better self.

We need to become independent from our family of origin and move towards an independent life. We need to achieve psychological independence so that we can live an independent life. Then, you will not care so much about whether your parents value boys over girls. You will no longer be dependent on them and will not have so many expectations.

3. Be your own person and live your life to the fullest.

As a girl, you will have your own family. I realized I could go beyond my parents' limitations and not be trapped in complaining about them after I had my own family.

I used to complain about my parents. I wasted a lot of time on things that didn't matter. I learned to let go and focus on my own happiness.

We need to think about the future and what kind of life we want. We need to stop blaming our parents for the pain we feel.

If we can live a happy life, we won't care about these hurts. Instead of dwelling on them, we should create our own happiness.

It's hard to change how parents act or think. But we can't let our parents' mistakes define us.

Know yourself, don't let negativity affect you, and focus on your strengths. Appreciate yourself and build up your positive self-image. When you see your own good qualities, you will feel more confident and love yourself more.

I can accept that my parents value boys over girls because I am already happy. I don't care whether my parents love me more or my younger brother more.

I hope this helps. Best wishes!