There are some problems in the family, with cold violence from the parents, no friends outside, and I'm so tired. What should I do?

KissKiss, I read your confessions and I totally get it. Living in a big family seems like a lot of fun, but it can also feel like there's a lot of competition and not enough support. It's actually very cold. I give you a big hug. Let's discuss it together!

1. It's so sad when mum and dad are cold and violent towards you. It's like they ignore you when you talk to them. (This wasn't the case before.) They don't pay any attention to you when you need something, and you're tired after school anyway. They don't even cook for you.

It's okay to feel frustrated when your parents don't treat you the way you'd like. It's possible that they're facing their own challenges and don't know how to handle it all. We can all feel lost sometimes! Try to see if this is a one-off or if it's a pattern.

You're already 19 years old, and it's time to learn some life skills! Cook for yourself or order takeout. We all need to be strong sometimes, and you're no exception!

2. Every weekend, you can only stay in your room and have a little cry. You have to ask your mother if you want to go out and play, but she's not always around. You have to greet her every time you do anything, and even after you greet her, she might not let you go out. You have to tell her what you buy, even if it's your own money.

You're doing a fantastic job! Even if your mom doesn't pay much attention to you, it's still important to let her know about your schedule in a timely manner and interact with her more often to put her mind at ease. You're doing a great job at that! Way to go!

3. Living abroad, your parents only care about their only son, and there are 6 sisters at home. It can be tough to feel like your parents don't understand you sometimes, especially when you're the oldest and they have so many younger sisters. It's okay to feel this way, and it's also okay to look for ways to cheer yourself up. You might find that making new friends with similar interests and hobbies can help. Many schools abroad also offer free psychological counseling for students, which can be a great way to talk through your feelings.

You're the oldest, and they're still young, so it's totally normal that they can't keep up with your thinking, and you can't always get along. But you can try to make some friends to cheer yourself up, and you can also develop some friends with your interests and hobbies.

Also, lots of schools abroad offer free psychological counseling for students. It can be really helpful to have an emotional outlet, so you might want to check that out.

It's totally fine if you lose interest in things after three minutes. At least you're trying new things! Lots of people lose interest after three minutes, so you can be friends!

We hope you find this information helpful! We're so excited for you to get out there and explore. There are so many amazing community activities abroad, so don't be afraid to try something new!

Hello, host! I'm smiling!

After reading your description, I totally get what you're asking. I'm here for you, no matter what.

From what you've shared, it seems like your current thoughts and feelings are closely tied to your family of origin, especially your relationship with your parents.

From what you've told me, it seems like you've experienced a lot of unfair treatment in your original family. It's understandable that you feel suffocated in that kind of environment. You're not wrong for feeling this way, but it's also important to recognize that you're still being treated differently, which can make you feel uncomfortable and like you don't have the strength to support yourself.

It seems like there might be a bit of confusion around boundaries, especially since you're at a stage in life where you need a bit more space and freedom. It's understandable that your mom might not realize this, but it seems like she's been overstepping a bit and interfering in your life a lot more than she should. I can see why you're feeling frustrated!

I've also put together a few tips and tricks to help you out in this situation. I really hope they'll be helpful for you! ?

(1) We can't choose our family of origin, but you can choose to change yourself in the present. That means changing your current attitude and thoughts so you can survive in such an environment.

(2) When you're feeling down or stressed, it's good to let off some steam! Try sports, music, chatting, journaling, or anything that helps you relax. It's better to get out of that negative environment for a while.

(3) It might be helpful to try to establish a certain boundary with your family. This could mean that their own affairs are their own, not yours. You could try to separate topics and separate your own affairs from their affairs.

(4) You can also try to make new friends! It's always good to have new people in your life. Your family is great, but new friends will give you something different. They'll give you a new perspective and help you grow. Plus, making friends is a great way to talk about your feelings. It's always good to have someone to talk to!

(5) Try to distract yourself, rather than letting yourself stay in a depressing environment for too long. Instead, give yourself more outlets to process your current emotions. You've got this!

(6) If you can, it's a great idea to seek professional help. This could be from a counselor or someone who's just there to listen. They can help you work through the problems you're facing in a more professional way.

I love you, and so does the world! ?

I really hope this helps!

Good evening! Dear questioner,

I'm Kelly.

I have read your question several times, and I can tell you care about everyone in your family.

[About parental cold violence]

You're very observant. You can tell when your parents are feeling cold and violent towards you or when they're just having a bad day. Are they treating you differently than the rest of the siblings at home?

You're 19. You're thinking for yourself. Do your parents have different expectations of you?

I'm sure your parents have been under a lot of pressure due to the pandemic in recent years. You also have younger siblings at home, and you have indeed been a bit aggrieved. On the other hand, precisely because you are 19 years old, you are also at an age where you can help your parents with things within your abilities.

I am certain that your parents are consciously cultivating your independence and self-care skills. If there have been no changes in your parents, and there are differences here that make you feel cold violence, it is likely that you have not had such reflections, giving you the opportunity to think so deeply.

You are a very good person, able to reflect and think, and also relatively sensitive to your parents' emotions.

I'm going to tell you a story.

I have a daughter who is now a senior in college. When she was in high school, I started to let her go and become independent, and I also involved her in household chores. At that time, I also stopped helping her with cooking. High school was stressful, so I left some household chores to her, such as helping us after class, and she did what she could, such as cooking with the rice cooker and washing rice. I came home from work and cooked.

On Sundays, she does the laundry, cleans the house, and buys the family's daily necessities. At first, her daughter couldn't understand, until she went to a German host family (exchange student). For about half a month, she experienced a different culture in the German family. The parents of the other girl were teachers. She learned to make noodles, wash vegetables, and other basic housework. She also learned to take care of herself and her guest status.

After she returned, her ability to tidy up improved, and she continued this habit. She then realized how hard I had tried and was grateful for the opportunity to grow up independently with my trust.

I am going to assume that:

1: Your parents have expectations of you. Take the initiative to ask them what they need you to do and gain their trust.

2: Take the initiative to care about your parents. Find out if they're under a lot of work pressure due to the pandemic. Your family is quite large, so ask your parents.

You can help a lot. Your parents will be grateful. If the family is really under pressure, you, at the age of 19, will need to share the burden with your parents and take care of your younger siblings.

✍️No friends

Your parents will feel less stressed if you go out, even if there is no pandemic. Your mother's actions are wrong, but her intentions may be good.

1. She is concerned about your safety.

2: Save money during the epidemic.

3: Use school time to make friends with compatible classmates and save time to spend with your cute younger siblings. This way, at the age of 19, you will also be helping the family, especially by reducing the pressure on your parents.

4: You can also communicate online.

5: Develop your own hobbies (reading, music, drawing, whatever you like).

6: You should also communicate with others on Yi Xinli to learn from each other.

You should read "Little Women." I love their family. The sisters in the family meet up on weekends to read together and especially help their parents with housework together. The family is full of joy. When you leave home in the future to go to college, graduate school, or even work or get married in a faraway place, these opportunities will never return.

You're just temporarily emotional and haven't understood your parents' hearts or their unusual behavior. Many teachers here will also give you a response, which I know will be enlightening.

✍️[Three-minute passion]

You're young, so try more. A three-minute passion is better than none. Start with small things.

1: Read for an hour every day (for a month, a quarter, six months, a year) and see what happens.

2: Spend half an hour with your younger siblings every day for three months.

You will get everyone's approval and become happier and more confident once you've stuck with it.

Take care during the pandemic.

Happy birthday!

Be happy!

I'm Kelly.

The world and I love you.

It is important to maintain a positive outlook and not allow difficulties to overwhelm you. It is unproductive to wait for external assistance, as though you have fallen into a challenging situation. It is more beneficial to learn to support and nurture your own well-being. For those who lack self-discipline and have high aspirations, it is crucial to adopt a more dedicated approach. This involves embracing a positive mindset, self-compassion, and a commitment to personal growth. It is essential to reflect on your goals and aspirations and determine whether you have a clear understanding of what you want to achieve.

Indeed, it is beneficial to cultivate friendships, yet it is unwise to hasten the process. Identifying shared interests is crucial for maintaining a sense of fulfillment. Additionally, it is valuable to engage in self-reflection and seek connections with individuals beyond one's immediate circle.

Including me, I would like to be your good friend, provided that you are amenable to forming the most sincere friendships. I am prepared to serve as your audience and

It would be beneficial to release the emotions that have accumulated within you. Would you be amenable to discussing the matter further?

Indeed, it is imperative to acknowledge the debt of gratitude owed to one's parents for their role in one's upbringing. While it is crucial to repay this debt, it is also essential to recognize the limitations of parental guidance.

It is important to recognize that emotional instability can lead to a lack of friends. It is crucial to empathize with the parents' perspective and understand their motivations. This experience can foster resilience and strength. It is essential to remember that one's self-worth is not contingent on external factors.

In my estimation, you are 19 years of age, a period of life that presents a unique set of challenges. While it is not feasible for us to eliminate stressors entirely, it is imperative that we, as men, cultivate resilience and an optimistic outlook.

It is my hope that, in the future, you will be able to temper your character during your brother's formative years. This will enable you to encounter many unfair situations in the world and to advance and retreat as necessary in terms of human relationships. You must be able to make the most of any given situation and to appreciate the various roles played by clowns in society. It is important to be able to pity them, as this will ensure that you are valued.

In the event of a conflict at school, it is essential to recognize the significance of competitiveness in contemporary society and to adapt the acquired life wisdom in a flexible manner.

The most valuable assets in life are not materialistic; they are intangible. It is the ability to perceive the essence of life and utilize one's genuine emotions to foster genuine connections with others.

It is therefore imperative not to succumb to despondency or distress. Those who possess friends should not allow themselves to be unduly concerned about the future. It is crucial to place trust in both oneself and in the veracity of the aforementioned advice. It is also essential to take the initiative and act with courage.

It is my sincere hope that my brother will open his heart to everyone he encounters, offer them a smile, and demonstrate an ability to listen to the hearts of others. I extend my best wishes to him once again. It is my belief that beautiful words are more beneficial than harsh treatment. It is imperative that he refrain from uncovering the scars of others, as this will enable him to achieve optimal benefit on the road of life. The language spoken today is contingent upon his ability to open the door to his heart and devote himself to life. This will allow him to become more confident and attractive, and to establish connections within his social circle. This is a new beginning.

It is my sincere hope that we can become good friends. I also hope that you will leave more comments for me and hold an umbrella to protect you from the rain.