There is a lot of pressure in the family, and I don't want to live anymore. Why is no one in the family satisfied anyway?

Hello, question asker. I can tell from your question that you're under a lot of pressure.

From what I can see, you are a very good person. But you have been going through a lot behind this excellence.

You have been forced, denied, and suppressed since childhood. Despite earning a decent salary and having an excellent partner, this gloom has always loomed over you.

Hug yourself. You are already very brave and strong.

Let's be real: the topic of the original family is something we can never escape. It's the starting point for each of us and affects us all the time.

Some families are warm and welcoming, while others are cold and distant. This is a direct result of how parents raise their children.

Even after we grow up and become independent from our original family, we often still feel "bound" in many ways. This is a very helpless thing, and it's time to stop letting it control us.

First, accept yourself. You have a good job, and you should be proud of that.

You must accept that there are things you cannot do, such as gaining the approval of your family. As long as you have goals and plans, and follow your own pace, there is absolutely no problem.

Second, prioritize self-care. You can fill the gaps in your family experience by focusing on your own needs.

Encourage yourself more and praise yourself more. Never give up on yourself.

Seek professional help. If you are severely depressed and cannot resolve it on your own, get help from a counselor or psychologist.

You are great.

The world and I love you.

Hello.

Your family has had a significant impact on you since childhood, influencing your education, career, and relationships. Now, the pressure is intensifying, and you're experiencing significant distress.

A good job, an income of over 10,000 yuan, a wonderful boyfriend—none of this can make your family happy. So, I have to ask: Do you have to make them happy?

What is good?

As children, our parents had a significant impact on us. Their expectations and influence shaped our lives, often leading us to become obedient and follow their wishes, such as studying hard and avoiding play.

Over time, you were influenced by your family, and you listened to your parents and did what they said.

And now? You've graduated, you've got a job, you've even got a boyfriend. You don't have to do what they say.

If you don't do what they say because it will make you unhappy, what will you do?

Listen carefully, and you will hear a voice in your heart saying, "I want to do things my own way and be satisfied with myself." Listen carefully and distinguish this faint voice that keeps shouting.

But then again, you heard this voice. It is very weak, easily swayed, and not even that firm.

You need to do this. Talk about it. Say what's in your heart. Hear that small voice and speak it.

Good day, my name is Ying Keyu Xuan.

From your description, it is evident that you are facing significant pressure from your family. It has not been an easy journey for you over the years. I extend my support and encouragement from afar.

You have indicated that your family members are excessively critical of you, from academic performance to academic major, from career choices to marriage. They consistently urge you to perform better than others. Despite your current employment status and romantic relationship, your family members remain unsatisfied and view you as unqualified.

It is undeniably challenging to be under such constant pressure from one's family. Some parents, who may lack their own capabilities, are driven by a desire to be respected and may therefore impose expectations on their children.

A good child is a valuable asset to be showcased.

You should take pride in your professional and personal achievements. It is important to recognize that success is defined differently for everyone. You have achieved a commendable level of success in your career and have formed a supportive partnership.

It is important to note that the opinions of family members may create the perception that you need to achieve more in order to gain their approval. However, this does not necessarily indicate that you are not successful or happy in your current situation.

It may be beneficial to engage in an in-depth dialogue with your family, express your feelings, and gain insight into the underlying reasons behind their expectations. It would be valuable to understand their perspective and ascertain their expectations of you.

Ultimately, it is up to you to decide the direction of your life, not the opinions of others.

I hope this information is helpful. Best regards, [Name]

Hello, questioner! I'm Jiang 61, and I'm here to help.

Thank you so much for trusting us and being willing to tell us your confusion in order to get answers. It's so hard when family pressure is high and you feel like you don't want to live anymore. I can see that you're struggling with why your family members are not satisfied no matter what. I'm here for you, and I'm ready to listen and support you. Let's hug, show each other some warmth, and then talk together.

1. Introduction

1️⃣, expectations

You say, "From school, they push for good grades and a good school; in college, they compare majors; at work, they compare jobs; and when I get married, they want me to find a great boyfriend. Why does my family have to push me so hard and say I'm not as good as others and suppress me like this?"

Expectations

From your introduction, it's clear that your parents have high hopes for you! They're expecting great things, like doing well in school, getting good grades, excelling in your career, doing well at work, and finding a wonderful partner.

Standard

It's so important to remember that what is considered "good" is that they use their own standards to demand of you. They compare you to others as a standard, and if you don't meet the standards in their minds, they will pressure and suppress you.

2. Demanding It's totally normal to feel pressured by your family. They want you to do well in school, get good grades, do well at work, and find a great partner. They have high expectations, and it can feel overwhelming. It's important to remember that you're not alone in this. Many people feel the same way, and there are ways to cope.

You say, "I'm doing well at work, earning over ten thousand yuan a month, and I have a great boyfriend, but my family is still not satisfied. They think I'm not good enough, and they want me to be better than the rest of the family members who work in state-owned enterprises and hospitals. They say I'm only qualified if I follow this path."

Self-perception is a tricky thing, isn't it?

You have a great job, you earn over 10,000 yuan a month, and you have an amazing boyfriend! But, despite all of that, you still can't meet your family's expectations.

Pride

These unreasonable demands reflect the parents' vanity and love of face. In other words, they want to look good in the eyes of outsiders and relatives, which is totally understandable!

So, parents just have to be better than their relatives at work and earn more than people in state-owned enterprises and hospitals.

3️⃣, stress

Your parents can be a bit of a burden sometimes, don't they? They can be a lot to handle in life, work, and study, but it can be hard to tell them that. It can feel like you're constantly struggling to meet their expectations, and it can even feel like there's no point in living sometimes.

2. What causes stress?

1️⃣, care about what your parents think

Hey there! Just a quick note to draw your attention to something.

When we say "attention," we're talking about paying attention to something or someone, being mindful, caring, and valuing. It's all about people's attention to detail and their emotional care for others.

It's so important to pay attention to what your parents think!

In the parent-child relationship in the family, the questioner tends to focus on the parents' opinions and evaluations. This can sometimes make the questioner feel like their position in the family is insignificant or unvalued. But, it's important to remember that the questioner's own value can be revealed by maintaining the parents' dignity and meeting their needs.

It's clear that the questioner doesn't yet have a strong sense of self. He relies on his mother's approval to establish his position and value in the world. Meeting his mother's needs takes a toll on him emotionally.

2️⃣. Intergenerational transmission

Let's talk about something really important today: intergenerational transmission.

Have you ever heard of intergenerational transmission? It's a fascinating phenomenon where parents pass on their abilities, ideas, behaviors, social status, and more to their children. And it's not just about biology. It also includes the inheritance of cultural traits like ideas, cultural customs, and ways of behaving. These things can be passed down from one generation to the next in a pretty amazing way!

It's so interesting how our parents' experiences shape our own! Intergenerational transmission is a big deal in psychology and economics. It's all about how the traits and behaviors of previous generations are passed down to the next. And it's not always conscious — kids pick up on the same patterns in family dynamics as their parents do.

We all do it! We compare ourselves to others. It's a habit that can be helpful or harmful.

From what the questioner has shared, it seems that her mother's requests are not a new thing that started after she was born. It seems like her parents' way of life has continued, and she was often asked to do various things in her own family, too. She accepted this way of life and applied it to the questioner to satisfy her own needs. It's sad to see how the pressure has been passed down from generation to generation.

3️⃣, Personality reasons

It seems like the questioner has always tried to meet their mother's needs, even when they've been unreasonable. It's clear that they've been trying to please others and avoid conflict.

I think the questioner is a really nice, calm person who just wants to please others.

A pleasing personality

A pleasing personality is one that blindly pleases others without paying attention to their own feelings. It's not a healthy way to live! The essence of pleasing others is that others are more important than oneself. One feels safe and loved only when one makes others feel comfortable.

So, the questioner pays close attention to what her mother says and cares about, while ignoring her true feelings. This means that the questioner accepts the pressure transmitted by her mother, lives according to her mother's wishes, and has no independent opinions. As a result, she feels stressed and meaningless living for others.

.

A calm personality is someone who is cool, collected, and in control of their emotions.

A calm personality is someone who:

Characteristics: You're a slow and deliberate person, cautious, gentle, and stable. You also have a strong desire to pursue harmony.

You're easy to get along with, comfortable in any situation, thoughtful, and tolerant.

On the downside, you can be a little slow and lazy, not prone to repentance, not fond of expressing yourself, and indifferent to others.

I can see why you're trying so hard to meet your parents' expectations. It's not just about impressing them or making a good impression. It's also about your reputation. You're cautious, you don't want to offend people, you don't have much energy, and you don't like to express yourself. So, you just let things happen and take things as they come. This encourages your mother to make groundless accusations and make more unreasonable demands on you.

3. What to do

1️⃣. Enhance self-awareness

Self-awareness is a great place to start!

Self-awareness, also known as self-knowledge or self, is a complex psychological phenomenon that we all experience in different ways. It is made up of three parts: self-knowledge, self-experience, and self-control. These three parts are connected and affect each other, and they come together to make up your unique sense of self.

Let's enhance your self-awareness!

Let's start by enhancing self-awareness, improving self-perception, self-observation, self-analysis, and self-criticism.

In terms of self-experience, we can really enhance our self-experience by increasing self-awareness, self-love, self-esteem, self-care, self-deprecation, a sense of responsibility, a sense of duty, and a sense of superiority.

In terms of self-control, we work on strengthening our awareness of independence, autonomy, self-control, self-improvement, self-defense, self-discipline, and so on. We also focus on improving our ability to control ourselves.

2️⃣, Boost Self-Confidence

It's so important to understand yourself!

Knowing yourself is all about having a deep and thorough understanding of your personality, interests, strengths and weaknesses, areas of expertise, abilities, and your own habits of thinking, speaking and acting.

Let's boost our self-confidence!

We choose to do the things we like, are good at, and can do based on our understanding of ourselves. This way, success can testify to our abilities and enhance our self-confidence!

3️⃣, be yourself!

It's so important to have clear boundaries!

In psychology and in our relationships with others, having clear boundaries means being able to say, "This is who I am and this is what I want." It's about being clear about your personal values, your life goals, and the way you want to conduct yourself in the world.

A person with clear boundaries can better resist external interference and pressure, while also being able to better maintain inner stability and balance. This is great!

Just be yourself!

When we know our own boundaries, we'll be free from our mother's demands. We'll be bold, doing what we think is right, improving ourselves, and being ourselves.

Questioner, we've come so far! We now have enhanced self-awareness, increased self-confidence, and clear boundaries. We all have those days where we're swayed by the opinions of others, but we can always remain firm in being ourselves. We can break through old patterns of thinking and start a new, meaningful life.

I just want to wish the original poster a happy life!

Thank you for sharing your story! I'm grateful to have met you.

From your description, I can feel that your family is putting a lot of pressure on you, and at the same time, you feel that they don't understand you. They are constantly asking you to do more and more, never letting you relax, and making you feel angry inside. But you know what? You can do this! You can handle it! You can relax! You can let go of your emotions! You can feel good about yourself!

Absolutely! Let's hug and talk about this together.

1. Uncover the fascinating psychological needs behind the behavior of family members!

Have you ever wondered why family members behave in this way? It's because they are constantly comparing you to others! And it's not just a little bit of comparison—it's a lot. They have internal panic and insecurity, or they were always compared when growing up, which makes them feel like they are internally inferior. They have a hard time accepting themselves and their own merits, so they are always living in panic and need to use these external comparisons to create pressure that pushes them to constantly improve.

Or they have experienced the cruelty of society and haven't achieved their original dreams or expectations, so they pin their hopes on you. It's also possible that they've been ridiculed and belittled by others before, and since they didn't have the ability to fight back, they'll constantly spur you on to make progress!

We really hope you can fulfill their unfulfilled dreams and expectations within!

These have become their habits, and they are not aware of it, so they will continue to pressure you in this way. There is a saying in NLP that every occurrence has its right motive, which is really interesting!

Their behavior may be beyond my understanding, but if we understand the psychological needs behind their behavior, we can understand why they behave in such a way! Although their behavior makes us feel particularly uncomfortable, pressured, and like we want to escape, we understand their behavior, not to agree with it, but just to let go of our emotions internally.

2. Expressing one's emotions consistently

The pressure from your family members is intense, but you can do it! What can you do to make them happy?

You can consistently express these emotions and pressures to them. Remember to express emotions, not emotional expressions. First, state the factual part, then your emotions, and then your expectations and needs.

This way of communicating is a great way to get your point across and help them realize if they're being a bit excessive. If family members can be aware of and adjust their behavior, then all we have to do is change ourselves and watch the magic happen!

But here's the good news! It is quite difficult to change others. No one wants to be changed, and everyone thinks their own thoughts and actions are right. So we can only change ourselves, and then invisibly influence our family members to change!

3. Change yourself!

If parents are unable to perceive and change, we will inevitably become more and more miserable. But here's the good news! Suffering occurs to remind us to look within and change ourselves. It is just a gift wrapped in ugly packaging, but we can choose to see it as a gift.

As an adult, you have the incredible opportunity to decide your own life, work, and partner. Parents can have their own ideas, and you also respect that they will have such ideas, but the decision is yours.

You have to see why they are always pushing you like this, and you still go along with them. You are no longer the little child who was powerless to resist them, but you can decide your own future! You dare to make your own choices, while being cautious and careful at the same time. You can also present your own choices, plans, and opinions to convince your parents and gain their support and recognition!

Your parents have already made you feel so uncomfortable and stressed, and yet you still do what they want. But deep down, do you always long to gain their approval, respect, and support? Absolutely! And you can!

As an adult, you have the incredible opportunity to be your own spiritual parent and raise yourself again. Take a deep breath and see what psychological needs are behind your actions. Satisfy yourself, and let go of your expectations of your parents.

In this way, you will become more and more powerful within, more and more independent, grow up slowly, and become more and more mature. At the same time, you will dare to take responsibility for your own life, dare to choose the life you want, and be the person you want to be—and it's going to be amazing!

Parents have their own life lessons to learn, and we don't need to shoulder them. What we can do is be the best version of ourselves! When we can be good at being ourselves and take responsibility for our own lives, our parents will be influenced to pay attention to their own life issues and do what they should do.

It's so important to remember that everyone is different, and you need to have a sense of boundaries with your parents.

Absolutely! When you need it, you can definitely find a professional counselor to help you sort out your current relationship and get out of confusion.

I really hope my answer is helpful to you! I wish you the absolute best!

Dear Question Asker, Thank you for your inquiry. Best regards, Tim

My name is Tim.

I appreciate your question and empathize with your confusion, which I have also experienced for many years. Please accept my support and encouragement.

With regard to the family in question, I assume you are referring to parents. Is this correct? Only parents or other individuals acting in a parental capacity can be expected to display such persistent and persevering behaviour, influencing and encouraging us in our studies, work and even marriage.

I would like to take this opportunity to share my experience with you in a way that is empathetic and helpful.

I can see that you grew up in an environment where comparisons to others were made, and you were never given the affirmation you needed from your parents. As a result, you are unsure of how to meet the standards that have been set for you.

This scenario is analogous to a situation in which parents are akin to a "sculptor," holding a "craft knife" in their hands, attempting to mold their children into their idealized "work" in incremental stages.

The sensation of being "shaped" and "carved" can cause distress, yet parents may be unaware of this. Furthermore, the perception of an ideal work hidden in our parents' hearts, which we cannot fully observe regardless of our actions, can intensify this distress.

There is nothing inherently problematic about parents having ideals. However, it is crucial for parents to recognize that their own skills and knowledge must also be developed and enhanced before they can effectively guide their children. Sometimes, the most challenging aspect is when parents are driven by an unwavering desire to achieve their ideals, yet they have not yet fully defined or developed a clear plan of action.

This can result in a sense of being adrift, unable to discern a path forward, lacking in self-assurance, and uncertain of one's bearings. Regardless of how strenuously one attempts to flee or leap, one cannot attain a destination that remains out of reach.

It is important to note that the comparisons made by parents can inadvertently affect our emotional state. For instance, a child may internalize a criticism such as, "My mother thinks I'm cold." This phenomenon is known as "projection" in psychological literature. In such cases, the perceived failure of the parent is actually a reflection of their own shortcomings, which they unconsciously project onto their child.

They fail to recognize that they are failing themselves in the process of designing, sculpting, and completing a work. They "coolly" disappoint us, it would seem.

Please indicate whether you concur with the aforementioned statements and whether you have gained insight into the rationale behind parental actions.

If you concur, I would like to discuss the significance of parents in our lives further.

From the moment of birth, individuals embark on an interactive journey with their parents that is more intimate than any other relationship. In this journey, parents serve not only as motivators but also as guides.

My father was a teacher, and since I can remember, his expectations have been a significant influence on my life. He emphasized the importance of facing challenges with courage and striving for continuous improvement.

I was aware that I needed to tackle challenges head-on, work hard, and keep moving forward.

For an extended period, I rejected this approach to parenting and voiced objections to my father. In my view, his primary mistake was to impose the same demands on me as he did on my brothers. I felt that I was not being recognized, and that my life was always just beginning, filled with challenging work and stress.

However, regardless of the emotional state of the individual in question, the level of distress, frustration, resentment, or even despair experienced, and the perceived disadvantageous position in relation to one's parents, who have an inherent advantage and have provided one's existence, the individual will inevitably be at a disadvantage when they lack the requisite strength or resources.

As a result of my efforts, I am able to enjoy the love of my parents while simultaneously working towards self-improvement and transformation in collaboration with them.

Despite the constant self-denial, I continued to strive for personal growth until the article I wrote was published on the national media website, which was my long-term objective.

At that juncture, I finally felt relieved and was able to inform my father, "I have achieved my goal and am now able to determine my future path."

However, my father is no longer able to hear my voice and is therefore unable to share the work I have "carved" with me.

In light of these circumstances, I would like to express my regret. I would also like to acknowledge that you are fortunate to have parents who are consistently monitoring your progress.

Your success in school, stable employment, high income, and admirable personal relationships are all evidence of your exceptional capabilities. Were there any incentives from your parents to impede your achievements?

I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to the world and to you, my dear friend.

It is frustrating and helpless to experience family members' behavior that stems from their own beliefs and expectations. They want you to achieve what they consider to be the "best," without truly considering your feelings and the actual situation.

In relative terms, you are already highly competent, with a rewarding career and a fulfilling personal relationship, which are the outcomes of your dedicated efforts. However, it appears that your family has become mired in a peculiar cycle of comparison and excessive expectations, undervaluing your personal well-being and accomplishments. You have the capacity to overcome this challenge.

[Build your own core]

It is important to believe in yourself, understand your value, and recognize your strengths and achievements. Doing so will help you to develop a strong sense of self-awareness and value.

It is advisable to maintain a certain physical distance from family members, create a relatively independent space for yourself, and reduce the frequency of directly facing pressure.

[Define your own boundaries]

It is important to communicate your personal boundaries and principles to family members so that they are aware of what behavior is unacceptable.

While I do care about what they say because they are the people closest to me, I am under no obligation to act in accordance with their opinions.

I have the prerogative to select my own path and can opt to pursue a less exceptional, more ordinary career.

It can be beneficial to inform family members that you are an ordinary person.

If we are ordinary individuals, it is acceptable that we cannot achieve great things.

If we are ordinary individuals, it is acceptable that we do not receive high salaries.

If I am an ordinary person, my boyfriend will, of course, also be an ordinary person, with flaws and not outstanding.

If we are not at the top of our profession, we can still find employment in a state-owned enterprise or hospital. We can also secure a position with a 60-point rating.

When my parents discuss the merits of other individuals, I can interject with a counterpoint.

"Regrettably, you have produced an ordinary child. I have endeavored to the best of my abilities."

"I am simply an ordinary individual, and I am not capable of achieving the same level of excellence as them."

"My family is also quite ordinary, and my parents are just ordinary parents."

"Even in an outstanding family, there will be ordinary children. Why can't I be that ordinary one?"

[Professional support]

Should the need arise, you may wish to consider seeking the assistance of a professional counselor. You may also find it beneficial to record your mood and write down your feelings, as this can assist you in sorting out your emotions and thoughts.

Hello, I hope this message finds you well.

I'm really sorry to hear this on Children's Day. I'd like to give you a hug.

I can see how your words reflect a sense of heaviness and helplessness, and I empathize with your desire to be understood and accepted. It's clear that you're facing a lot of pressure and expectations from your family. I want you to know that all of these feelings are valid, and they're also the struggles and challenges that many people face on their journey of growth.

We all need a warm, welcoming place to rest when we're tired, but in today's fast-paced, competitive world, this sense of security can sometimes feel like an invisible pressure. You're not just carrying the burdens of the outside world, but also the constant questioning of your self-worth.

This process can be tough and draining.

The high standards your family sets for you might come from their own unfulfilled dreams or from the idea of what it means to be successful in our society. The Happiness Trap (Ruth Harris, 2008) shows us that if we focus too much on what others think of us, we might ignore our true needs and the sources of happiness we already have.

Here are some tips to help you move forward:

Express yourself with courage. You can try using the first-person feeling expression method that Dr. Marshall Rosenberg advocates, such as "When I face..., I feel...". This approach is gentle but powerful, and can help family members let down their defenses and get closer to your true feelings.

It's important to recognize and value yourself in many ways. This could be your work achievements, your hobbies, or the beauty of interpersonal interactions. Each aspect is a valuable piece that makes up your unique value. "You Are Your Child's Best Toy" (Kimberly Brain, 1997) is a parenting book, but it also reveals the importance of positive affirmation and self-worth building, regardless of age.

It's important to set healthy boundaries and learn to say "no" when appropriate. You need to set a comfortable zone for yourself. "Too Much of a Good Thing: How to Set Your Mental Boundaries" (Henry Cloud and John Townsend, 1994) will guide you on how to set boundaries appropriately and protect yourself from excessive interference, which is a sign of self-love.

Find a community of like-minded people. Join a community, online or offline, of people who have faced similar challenges. The shared experience can greatly reduce your sense of isolation and bring you comfort and strength.

Don't forget that everything you have—your resilience, your achievements, and the love you cherish—is a testament to your personal value. You are irreplaceable and unique in this universe, and no one needs to define your value.

Take some time for yourself to enjoy the good things in life. You're great just the way you are.

I hope this response brings you a little comfort and strength, and that you know you're not alone.

Wishing you the best!

Wang Hua

Good day, inquirer. I observe that you indicate that since your enrollment in school, your family has exerted pressure on you to achieve academic excellence at a reputable institution, gain admission to a university, and be evaluated against the standards of your chosen field. Additionally, they have recently begun to exert pressure on you to marry and form a romantic partnership with a suitable partner.

The subject in question has a commendable occupation, a satisfactory income, a commendable romantic partner, and is subjected to comparisons with the achievements of other family members. In this familial environment, regardless of the subject's efforts, the quantity and quality of their work, or their ability to prove themselves, they are consistently overlooked, their contributions undervalued, and they are subjected to constant suppression and belittlement.

Such circumstances can result in feelings of despair, resentment, and a sense of depleted energy.

Given the considerable time you have spent longing for love and affirmation, it is understandable that you are experiencing fatigue. Moreover, you have endured a significant number of challenges.

In your case, your family members are judging you based on their own values, which are inextricably linked to their own life experiences from an early age. Having also grown up being compared and attacked during their own growth process, they have learned this mode of interacting with others and are now passing on these values and parenting models to you.

Should one desire to alter the familial structure, it is inevitable that the family in question will perceive such a desire as irrational. What, then, is the appropriate course of action? One must accept the family in question, accept its mode of existence, and accept that it will not change.

It may be posited that lowering expectations and desires could result in an improvement in one's emotional state.

Rejection or attack from one's parents evinces anger, which indicates a disturbance in one's emotional state and a lack of self-assurance. While one may assert that comparisons are made at home, the same cannot be said for the workplace or other aspects of life. It is an unavoidable reality that individuals are subject to comparisons and evaluations by others.

In the present moment, it is essential to cultivate a resilient core, one that is grounded in self-belief and possesses the skills and abilities to navigate challenges with composure.

If one experiences frustration when residing with one's family, it may be beneficial to maintain a certain degree of distance from one's parents in order to avoid becoming overly absorbed in the act of comparison.

The following represents a selection of the most salient points that I have been able to identify thus far. It is my sincere hope that they will prove to be of some assistance.

In one mind, the world and I express my sincerest sentiments of affection and goodwill. I extend my best wishes to you!

"My dear, I hug you." It's not nice to have a family member who's always demanding.

When I was a kid, I got 100 on a test in fourth grade and got a certificate.

I took it home to show my family, but my father said there was nothing to be proud of with 100 points.

You got a prize for it. You're pretending it wasn't something you made yourself, aren't you? I was shocked.

I didn't know I'd already tried so hard and it was so hard to get a word of affirmation from my parents. Now that you've done well, your parents compare you to people who are even better and tell you to look up to them.

It's hard and uncomfortable. When will we be considered outstanding by our family?

It's endless.

This is what family members expect. It's a message about what we should do.

When we were young, our family told us to eat well and sleep well to survive. We did it because we had to.

Some messages are very influential. They tell us to be perfect and work hard. Parents make these demands because they have unfulfilled desires. They hope their children will fulfill their desires.

We know what to do when parents make such demands.

You're already very good. A job that pays over ten thousand yuan a month is rare. You can live at your own pace.

Set boundaries in your heart. Tell your family, "I'm doing well. I've grown up and know what I want. Your demands are too stressful."

All parents love their children in different ways. If you express your feelings and they still invite you, take their words with a grain of salt.

Dealing with family members who are always perfect is hard. You can't change them, so you have to accept it.

If you can't convince them, there's always the option of maintaining distance. You have your own work.

There are many ways to keep your distance from them. Sometimes, the right distance can reduce conflict.

Take care of yourself. Learn to love yourself.

Learn to love. It will make things easier.

I hope my answer helps. Solve your confusion and live the life you want.

I love you.