Threatening divorce to make his wife bow down, but now she's really considering it, how can he win her back?

It is inaccurate to suggest that you threatened your wife with divorce; rather, she has been contemplating this course of action for some time and has been unable to identify a compelling reason to initiate it. It is merely a coincidence that you provided her with the opportunity to do so. It is therefore prudent to proceed on the basis of your own instincts.

1. The mother-in-law frequently criticizes the daughter-in-law, which is indicative of an adverse relationship between the two mothers-in-law. She attempts to influence the daughter-in-law's behavior in front of the son-in-law. However, the mother-in-law is also a straightforward individual with a stubborn temperament.

It may be beneficial to consider a compromise, although it is likely that your wife will perceive this as a temporary measure and remain unconvinced.

Therefore, over time, the internal pain accumulated, leaving her with no outlet for its release, which ultimately resulted in the dissolution of the marriage.

Therefore, the fundamental solution is not divorce, but rather the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The individual in question serves as a mediator between the two women, acting as a conduit for communication and understanding.

It is of the utmost importance to address the relationship between the two women. This is a crucial step that must be taken, and there is still an opportunity for improvement.

2. Your wife is forthright and tenacious. This will result in an individual who is somewhat stubborn and unwavering in their convictions.

Therefore, the optimal course of action is to compromise and, at the very least, adhere to her methodology. In the event that the verification yields erroneous results, she will be held accountable for her actions.

At this juncture, it would be more prudent to proffer your opinions.

Hello, question asker.

From what you've said, it's clear you have a strong bond with your mother, your wife, and your wider family.

Given the limitations of the text, it's difficult to fully grasp the situation. However, it's evident that this is an issue in the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and as a son and husband, you're caught in the middle.

Both the mother and the wife have strong opinions and aren't willing to back down. You feel uneasy when you see the mother bowing her head, and you hope that the wife will bow her head, even if it means a divorce.

This is pretty common in real life. Both the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have their own personalities, and they have to live under the same roof and spend time together every day. If their personalities don't match, it can affect the relationship between the husband and wife in the long run.

While a husband and wife have an intimate relationship, the same can't be said for a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If they need to spend time together, it's important to set boundaries.

If you can, try to create some distance.

Something similar happened to someone close to me: A is a

Your situation reminds me of something that happened to someone close to me. A is a psychology lecturer who told the story of herself and her mother-in-law in class. They could never get along, and her mother-in-law was a very caring and giving person, but A felt that she was being too involved.

Every time the mother-in-law comes to the A's, A hides the dirty laundry in advance, and the mother-in-law has to sort it out and wash it. A and her husband are both very accepting of the reality that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law don't get along. They've even moved to separate floors to avoid unnecessary meetings and get along with each other.

As the old saying goes, "What smells sweet from a distance can stink up close." Even close mother-daughter relationships aren't immune to arguments.

Sometimes, a good argument where you both speak your mind can actually help you understand each other better and strengthen the relationship. But arguments where you just accuse and complain about each other are never helpful.

In an argument, it's possible for everyone to take a step back, but it's important to find a balance. This step back and that gesture will make everyone feel better.

You want to win back your wife, you know your own shortcomings, your wife hasn't rejected you, you have two children, and your wife's family supports you. These are all your resources.

If your wife still refuses to come back, it means she's not facing the problem head-on. You can talk to her honestly to see what you can do to reassure her and take care of your mother at the same time.

This little family needs you to work together.

I'm a psychologically oriented listener, and I'll keep paying attention to and supporting you!

Hello, question asker!

From what you've said, I can see you're in a tricky spot. It seems like you're facing challenges from both sides, and it's taking a toll on you.

I work as a marriage mediator, and I usually see situations like yours at work. Here are a few things to look out for in these situations:

From what you've told me, it's clear you love your wife very much. She tends to have a short temper and always picks on your mother in front of you. You often threaten to divorce her, but this time it seems like she means it...

It's often said that the family is a place for love, not a place for reasoning. But our gay men, with their highly developed brains, always want to reason with their wives. I just want to remind you that if you ever reason with your wife and come to an understanding, you really will have to separate!

It's important to remember that women and men think differently because their brains are structured differently. This leads to different ways of approaching problems and getting results.

Men and women tend to think differently. Men often think about how to solve a problem, while women often think about how it makes them feel. When the mother and wife have a conflict, you may be more concerned with quickly resolving the matter without paying attention to the feelings of the two women. If you are biased towards your mother, you may feel that your wife is unreasonable and impossible, that she is in the wrong, and that you should make her admit her mistake quickly.

If you keep this up, the problems in your family will pile up, the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will get worse, and it'll be really hard to fix.

Let's have the questioner identify a few marriage landmines to avoid.

In all relationships, your relationship with your wife is the most important. Put simply, your nuclear family is the most important, and other relationships come after that. These include parent-child relationships (including your relationships with your own parents, your relationships with your children, your relationships with your respective siblings, etc.).

Once the core family unit is stable, the relationships around it will naturally fall into place.

In the ongoing tug-of-war between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the wife's main concern isn't to take down her mother-in-law, but her husband's stance! She wants to repeatedly confirm her husband's love and support. That's why your attitude is crucial to her!

Her complaints about her mother-in-law may be based on her needs. Do you understand what she really wants to say every time she expresses it to you? I feel that often, due to the way you both express yourselves, family conflicts escalate and become a battle to the death.

Sometimes, a man's attitude is more important to her than material things.

3. Couples who live together shouldn't constantly bring up the word "divorce" in their conversations. This is really harmful to the family! It also hurts the children a lot!

Kids will be on edge and cautious because they're afraid of their parents getting divorced, which is definitely not what anyone wants!

4. Couples should define their bottom lines, like what words they'll avoid during an argument and speak only about the issue at hand, not the person. Try to limit the scope of the conflict as much as possible and don't involve the other person's family!

I'm not sure if the questioner can see my reply, but if they can, I'd like to ask them to think about this: if you make up with your wife and have a similar problem again, how would you deal with it? I'd like to suggest a book to the questioner: "Do You Want Right and Wrong or Happiness?" It's a guide to married life and will be helpful to the questioner!

Can you talk to your wife about what you've been thinking?

I hope you two can work things out soon!

Take a moment to reassure your anxious and helpless self.

First of all, it's tough for a middle-aged man to juggle taking care of his parents, his kids, his career, and his family. It's really important to understand and support him. The best way to do this is to separate his parents from his daily life.

Of course, if you live in a first-tier city, it'll cost you to rent or buy a place that separates the elderly from you, but this is also the best way to effectively resolve conflicts between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Or you could hire a nanny.

Of course, if your mother and your wife don't live together and there are so many conflicts, that's a different story.

Second, your daughter-in-law was wrong to badmouth your mother in front of her. I'm sure it wasn't always like this, though. There must have been some sudden or serious incident that caused the relationship to deteriorate.

It's not easy for anyone to take care of two small children. It would be better to find the source and beginning of the deterioration of the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, communicate clearly with your daughter-in-law, understand where her conflicts and anger lie, and then target your efforts to correct and alleviate the situation after understanding the reasons.

You need to deal with conflicts on an individual basis, not as a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, or as a group.

Third, you made a big mistake by threatening her with divorce. I don't know how close you two are, but that's not the way to handle it.

Even though women are vulnerable, the resentment they build up can be even more intense. The best way is to communicate patiently and understand each other.

By now, she's reached her limit.

I hope you can find inspiration and insight from these three points and see an opportunity for change. I believe things can get better.

My personal public account is A Pretentious Young Man (ID: qingnianJIA2020), and I look forward to staying in touch.

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