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Want to change jobs, but very anxious and don't know what to do?

architecture computer science career change anxiety resignation
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Want to change jobs, but very anxious and don't know what to do? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

The questioner's first choice in the college entrance exam was architecture, and he wanted to study design. However, he was not accepted and was transferred to the computer science major. After graduating with a bachelor's degree, he has been engaged in computer-related research and development. A long time ago, he planned to work until he was 30 years old to save some money and then do what he likes. Now he is 31 years old, and in recent months, he has a strong desire to change careers for several reasons. First, he finds it difficult to advance in his career because of his limited abilities, and he can only keep working as a lowly soldier. Second, he doesn't like doing work he doesn't like and wants to find a direction he likes to work hard in. Third, he feels that there is a generation gap with his colleagues, that it is very boring, that he doesn't have any friends to chat with, and that his work and life are very boring and predictable. He hopes that his future life and work will change, that he will improve his oral expression skills, and that he will become more outgoing and active.

The reasons for the confusion and anxiety are: 1. I don't have any other skills, so I've looked into some jobs that can be trained for a career change. If I learn now and start as an assistant, my salary will drop a lot, and after all, I'm an outsider, so my promotion prospects are also very limited; 2. I'm at an awkward age, and in the future, I may have to do the same things as a colleague who is ten years younger than me, which is very embarrassing; 3. I'm afraid that the gap between industries is so big that I will be ridiculed by others. I wrote the resignation application six months ago, but I've never dared to send it. I've been anxious for six months now, and I feel so bad. I don't know what to do.

The questioner is relatively introverted and a bit sensitive. When they feel anxious, they feel short of breath and have chest tightness. They have difficulty making choices and don't like to express themselves.

Anne Anne A total of 7587 people have been helped

Let's dive into the current situation!

You're currently facing the confusion and anxiety of a typical career transition period. From failing to get into your first choice of architecture in the college entrance exam, to passively choosing a computer science major and working in related fields for many years, and now to dissatisfaction with your current professional environment and a desire to transform your future—it's a journey! Your experience reflects the various challenges that a person may encounter in their career, and it's an opportunity to learn and grow.

First of all, you have worked in the computer science field for many years and have accumulated certain skills and experience, which is great! However, you find it difficult to advance in your career, which presents an exciting opportunity for growth. This may be due to a variety of reasons, such as competitive pressure in the industry, an unclear personal career plan, or a lack of necessary professional skills to advance, which you can easily overcome. At the same time, your dislike for your current job and confusion about your future career have also exacerbated your anxiety, which you can conquer with the right mindset.

Second, the generation gap and social barriers you mentioned with your colleagues are also problems that many people in the workplace encounter. But there's no need to worry! In a team, if there is a lack of effective communication and exchange, it will not only affect work efficiency, but also make people feel lonely and helpless.

On a more positive note, your introverted personality, sensitivity, and difficulty making choices have also affected your career development and quality of life to some extent.

Finally, your worries and concerns about the transition are understandable. After all, the transition means an exciting opportunity to try a completely new field and embrace new challenges!

However, if you can clarify your career goals and interests, and make adequate preparations and plans, then a change can also be a fresh start!

Ready to make some positive changes? Here are some tips to help you along the way!

Embrace yourself and your unique qualities! Accept your current situation, including your strengths and weaknesses. Don't be too hard on yourself, and don't let anxiety hold you back.

Have faith in yourself and believe that everyone has their own potential and value. You will definitely find a career path that suits you as long as you work hard!

Define your career goals! Before making the transition, it's essential to define your career goals and interests. This may take some time to think about and explore, but it'll be worth it in the end!

You can try asking yourself some questions to help you get started on your journey. Ask yourself: What do I like to do? What am I good at?

What amazing values do I want to achieve in my future career?

Self-improvement: Once you've clarified your career goals, it's time to level up! You can attend training courses, read books, and participate in industry conferences to expand your knowledge and skills.

And don't forget to work on your social skills and oral expression ability! These are super important for your future career development.

Seek support! You may encounter many difficulties and challenges during the transition process, but you can absolutely overcome them with the right support. Reach out to family members, friends, mentors, and anyone else who can help you along the way.

They're there for you, ready to give you advice, encouragement, and support to help you through difficult times.

Embrace change! A career transition is an exciting process full of new possibilities. You get to actively face these changes, including a new work environment, new colleagues, and new work content.

Believe in yourself! Have the courage to try new things and take risks.

Ready to take the next step in your career? We've got some great advice to help you succeed!

Embrace the journey! If you're ready for a career change, consider starting with something related or similar to your current profession. This will help you ease into your new role and reduce the risk and uncertainty of the transition. Plus, you'll have the chance to accumulate more experience and resources along the way!

Get ready to develop some cross-disciplinary skills! These skills are going to be super important for your future career. You can try to learn some knowledge and skills related to your target career, such as design, marketing, and management.

These cross-disciplinary skills will open up a world of exciting career opportunities and possibilities for your professional growth!

Expand your network and make new connections! Attending industry events and social gatherings is a great way to do this.

Keep a positive outlook! No matter what obstacles you face, stay optimistic and believe in your abilities. Be courageous in facing challenges and you will succeed!

And don't forget to learn from your mistakes! Every failure and setback is an opportunity to grow and improve.

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Donovan Perez Donovan Perez A total of 9832 people have been helped

Hello. It's clear you're facing burnout and want to change, but you have concerns about the future.

You have identified three main areas of dissatisfaction in your current situation: limited promotion and development opportunities, a mismatch of interests, and a monotonous interpersonal and lifestyle situation.

If you want to find better development opportunities, do something you are more interested in, lead a richer life, become more outgoing and expressive, and if these are the changes you want or expect, then you need to think about a few more questions.

1) What is your core career need? If you could only choose one goal, what would it be?

2) You've temporarily disregarded the reality or difficulty of the situation. What is your desired career path? Do you have any expectations in terms of a timeline?

3) You said you want to do what you like. What are your interests and what areas of them do you want to pursue as a career or work, and what can be done as a hobby or side business? If your ideas are vague, take the Holland Interest Inventory to clarify your interests.

4) Tell me what abilities you need to have or improve in order to achieve or get closer to your ideal job. Also, tell me how you will cultivate these abilities (e.g., on-the-job courses, internal training, etc.).

I'm going to do some self-study.

Career development is a process of exploring possibilities and making constant trade-offs. Don't set too many goals at once. You'll feel overwhelmed and at a loss for what to do next. Either you'll feel that your direction is unclear, or you'll feel that the gap between your current situation and your goal is too wide, and you'll become discouraged.

Start with small goals that are easy to start with. Make small changes that will increase your sense of self-efficacy, and your long-term goals will become clearer.

For example, life situations and interpersonal relationships. The workplace and the workplace are of course important platforms, but they are not the only ones. You can and should expand your social circle and scope of activities through other means. Participating in more alumni organizations, class reunions, and activities of interest groups, and cultivating new hobbies can all enrich your life.

For example, if you want to improve your English-speaking skills, go to a Toastmasters event. If you want to increase your physical vitality, join a construction or running/walking group, or enter a networking circle to exchange ideas about other professional skills. Use these as a reference.

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Stella Lucia Garcia Stella Lucia Garcia A total of 3276 people have been helped

Good morning,

I empathize with the emotional challenges of considering a career change in the current job market.

In light of the above, we would like to present the following for your consideration:

Indeed, those who entertain the notion of a career change will inevitably experience a range of negative emotions, including anxiety, loss and frustration.

As you have correctly identified, the imminent loss of a position and the uncertainty of a new position can have a significant impact on an individual's professional life, self-esteem, and future prospects.

For instance, despite a strong desire to change careers, securing a new position can still result in anxiety due to a series of specific circumstances, such as limited promotion prospects, an age that may be perceived as embarrassing, and the risk of being laughed at by others.

However, at the same time, due to the current situation of limited advancement opportunities, restricted abilities, and a lack of variety in work, as well as the presence of colleagues with differing generational perspectives and levels of engagement, there is a persistent sense of frustration and loss of control.

This can result in a temporary inability to control the direction of one's work and life. It is not uncommon to experience a sense of defeat and a subsequent loss of confidence.

Given the significant role work plays in our lives, it is understandable that many individuals view it as a source of accomplishment, a source of social interaction, and a means of defining their identity.

The potential loss or unavailability of these factors can result in a temporary loss of direction and purpose.

Based on the above analysis, the key to navigating your current situation is to address negative emotions and stressors promptly, while exploring avenues for transitioning out of the company.

It is therefore recommended that you try the following methods and measures to help yourself:

First, acknowledge your emotions.

It is important to accept these negative emotions, such as anxiety, discomfort, and frustration. It is not advisable to deny or avoid them; instead, allow yourself to feel and face them.

As previously stated, it is crucial to gain a comprehensive understanding of the underlying causes of these emotional experiences. This will facilitate the acceptance of one's feelings and the pursuit of support and coping strategies to effectively address and overcome these negative emotions.

In light of the above, it is crucial to allow yourself the necessary time to adjust and recuperate. It is important to maintain a healthy sense of self-compassion and to gradually work towards regaining your equilibrium and confidence.

Secondly, it is advisable to cultivate a positive mindset.

Despite these difficulties and challenges, it is important to remain optimistic and believe that you have the time and ability to overcome your current situation.

It would be beneficial to attempt to let go of your anxiety and discomfort, accept the facts, and learn to forgive yourself.

It is also important to maintain a healthy lifestyle, including a balanced diet, sufficient rest and regular exercise, which will help to improve both physical and mental wellbeing.

It is also recommended that you create a new plan.

When you are in a calm state of mind, you may wish to consider exploring new interests or learning new skills to broaden your horizons and enrich your professional development. This will help to distract you and increase your sense of happiness.

In particular, you should consider your future career development direction. This could be a final effort during your employment or a new plan after leaving your job. You can formulate new goals and plans, break them down into smaller goals that you can achieve one by one, and then actively work towards their implementation.

To achieve a clear goal and sense of direction, it is essential to provide yourself with a new start and hope.

It is also recommended that you seek as much social support as possible.

As with seeking help at the platform, communicating with family and friends to express feelings and concerns in a timely manner can also be beneficial.

Their emotional support and understanding can assist in the release of stress.

Should these negative emotions persist in affecting your daily life and work, it is recommended that you seek the assistance of a counselor.

They will provide more professional, specific, and personalized guidance and support.

We hope this information is useful to you.

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Isabella Grace Johnson Isabella Grace Johnson A total of 5356 people have been helped

Good day, my name is Zeyu.

It is not uncommon to experience feelings of anxiety when contemplating a change in employment. It is reasonable to assume that anyone facing this situation would feel a certain degree of apprehension. By seeking assistance through inquiries and attempting to evaluate the efforts made thus far, we can gain a more objective perspective.

In the event that one is uncertain as to the appropriate course of action, it would be prudent to attempt to calm one's emotions. It has been demonstrated that anxiety, when managed appropriately, can assist in the resolution of problems. Furthermore, the anxiety that is currently being experienced is also considered to be within the normal range. It must be acknowledged that the decision to change jobs is related to both future prospects and current survival issues. Additionally, the financial implications of this decision will necessitate careful consideration. In light of these factors, it can be concluded that the level of distress experienced is not excessive.

It is evident that excessive anxiety will not facilitate the resolution of the problem; rather, it will impede the process. Based on the provided description, it is apparent that the individual in question has formulated a plan and given consideration to their future career development. Additionally, they have articulated the rationale for pursuing a change in employment and the sources of anxiety associated with it. In light of these observations, it is crucial to avoid providing direct advice and instead endeavor to comprehend the potential benefits of a career change.

The reason for our indecision can be attributed to the equal influence of two opposing forces: the desire for change and the apprehension about the future and the potential difficulties and challenges that may arise. The fear of the unknown leads to concerns about the merits of our decision. To address this, it is essential to ascertain the implications of changing jobs for us. Can the challenges we currently face be addressed through a change in employment?

In the event that the issues persist following a change of employment, would a further change of employment still be a viable option?

If the individual in question can respond to the aforementioned questions in a clear and affirmative manner, it is probable that they will reach a conclusion regarding whether or not to change jobs. In the event that uncertainty persists regarding the optimal decision, it is possible to enhance one's understanding and knowledge of the new position without necessarily changing jobs. If feasible, undertaking first-hand experience will facilitate a more nuanced understanding of the new role and may prove more conducive to making an informed decision.

Ultimately, if the notion of changing jobs remains a persistent one, it is always possible to pursue it, provided that the financial implications are within one's means. If one is prepared to face the most adverse outcome, there is no reason to refrain from doing so.

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Zoe Miller Zoe Miller A total of 4998 people have been helped

Hello, question asker! I'm June Lai Feng, and I'm excited to help you with your question!

It's totally normal to feel a bit conflicted and anxious when thinking about changing jobs. This state of mind may involve multiple psychological factors, but it's nothing to worry about!

First, let's talk about cognitive dissonance. You wanted to study architecture but were redirected, and you have been working in the computer field for a long time, which you don't like. This has led to a conflict between your inner perception and your actual behavior, which is totally normal! It's one of the most important reasons for anxiety, but it's also an opportunity for growth and change.

Second, you have a strong yearning and a desire to pursue things you like. When this desire is suppressed for a long time, it can trigger emotional distress and a desire to change the status quo.

Once again, a low sense of self-efficacy, feeling that you have limited abilities and are unlikely to get promoted, and a lack of confidence in your development after changing careers, reflect a lack of self-efficacy and doubts about whether you can successfully meet new challenges. But don't worry! There's plenty you can do to change this.

Then, social comparison and fear, worrying about the age gap, being ridiculed, etc., are influenced by the psychology of social comparison and the fear of becoming an outsider or being negatively evaluated by others.

Finally, we come to the exciting topic of emotional coping styles, introversion, sensitivity, and a lack of self-expression. These factors make it challenging to effectively vent negative emotions, leading to a constant accumulation and aggravation of anxiety.

From a psychological point of view, the situation you describe involves multiple aspects such as career development, personal interests, self-identity, and anxiety. Let's dive in and analyze each one!

Let's dive into the exciting world of career development!

It's totally normal to have some concerns about promotion and your work situation. Given your age and experience, making a change might seem daunting, but it could also be a fantastic opportunity for you!

There's so much potential for growth in the field of computers! It's a great idea to assess your skills and see where you can improve. And at the same time, you can also consider finding a position in a related field that better suits your interests.

Personal interests:

Your interest in architecture and design has always been there, and it's a very important driving force! Pursuing what you love can bring you greater satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment.

You can keep exploring and developing your passion for architectural design in your free time. You can also take relevant training or courses and gradually gain experience and knowledge.

Self-identity:

- Dissatisfaction with your current career situation may be related to your self-identity. It is a normal and healthy need to find a job that better matches your interests and values.

Embrace your choices and decisions, and trust in your ability to adapt to new environments and challenges. Don't worry about what others think; focus on how you feel inside.

Anxiety and choice difficulties:

Anxiety is a normal, natural response to uncertainty and big decisions. The good news is that you can learn to manage it and use it to your advantage!

There are so many ways to relieve anxiety! Try some relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, and exercise. You can also seek psychological counseling or support to discuss your confusion and anxiety with a professional.

It's time to make some decisions and take action!

It's time to make a decision and take action! You've been dealing with anxiety for six months, and it's time to turn things around. Delaying won't help. You need to take charge of your life and make things better.

- Weigh the pros and cons carefully and consider all possible outcomes. If you decide to change careers, you can make a detailed plan, including learning new skills and looking for job opportunities. This is an exciting time!

Believe in yourself! Your abilities and value are limitless, and you are not defined by age or the opinions of others. Pursue your interests with passion and excitement, and watch your potential soar!

And don't forget to take care of your amazing body and mind! Stay positive and keep smiling!

The world and I love you! I wish you the happiest of times!

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Grace Miller Grace Miller A total of 8073 people have been helped

Hello, questioner!

In today's fast-paced world, we're all juggling work and life, facing a range of choices and challenges. You, on the other hand, are at a crossroads in your career, feeling more conflicted and anxious than ever before.

I get it. You're uncertain about the future, questioning your self-worth, and longing to pursue your dreams.

You used to love architecture, but fate had other plans and you ended up in computers. You've worked hard in this industry over the years, putting in the hours.

But the bottleneck of promotion, the pressure of work, and the generation gap with your colleagues make you wonder if this job is really right for you. You want to escape from this suffocating environment and find your true calling.

The idea of changing careers has crossed your mind, but it's also brought up a lot of concerns and fears. You're worried that your skills won't be enough to support you in the new field, that your salary will decrease, that there won't be much room for promotion, and that you'll become the subject of ridicule.

These concerns are like heavy shackles, holding you back from thinking and acting freely.

But I can tell you're looking for a job that makes use of your strengths and gets you excited. You want to challenge yourself in new ways and see what you're really worth.

You want to break free from the constraints of the status quo.

I get it. You're sensitive and introverted, so you tend to be cautious and hesitant when faced with choices. But remember, sensitivity and introversion aren't weaknesses. They give you a keen sense of observation and the ability to think deeply.

These qualities will be important for your future career.

I want to tell you right now: your dreams are worth pursuing, and your future is worth fighting for. Don't be afraid of failure and challenges, because every attempt will bring you closer to your dreams.

Your sensitivity, introversion, and difficulty in making choices won't hold you back. They'll inspire you to make more careful choices and pursue your goals with greater focus.

At this critical moment, you need to face your inner self bravely and listen to your own voice. Don't get distracted by what's going on around you, and don't worry too much about what others say.

You get to decide what your value is and what your life is all about.

I also hope you'll learn to seek help and support. Share your thoughts and concerns with friends and family, and listen to their advice and encouragement.

They can also give you great advice and help you plan your future.

In the pursuit of your dreams, you may encounter difficulties and setbacks. But remember, these experiences are all valuable assets that will make you more resilient, mature, and wise.

Each fall will help you gain a better understanding of your direction and goals.

Ultimately, I want to encourage you to believe in yourself and keep pushing forward with determination! Your future is full of endless possibilities and excitement.

If you take that leap of faith and pursue your dreams, I believe you can achieve your goals and create a great life for yourself.

I get it. You're feeling anxious and confused right now. At this crucial point, you need more than just understanding and support. You need courage and determination.

I truly believe you have the wisdom and strength to face whatever comes your way. Your sensitivity and introversion will help you think more deeply about issues and focus more on your goals.

Your indecision will also make you more cautious in making every decision, to make sure you stay on the right track.

I know you're looking for a change, for a job you can really throw yourself into. Don't be afraid to try, don't be afraid to pursue it.

Your dream is waiting for you to make it happen, and your future is in your hands. As long as you take the first step with courage, you'll see that you can go far and that your dream can be amazing.

No matter which path you choose, remember to believe in yourself and your abilities. Every effort you make will be a building block for your dream.

Every attempt you make will bring you one step closer to success. So, please go forth boldly, pursue your dreams, and create your future.

I'll always be here to support you and cheer you on until you achieve your goals. Your journey has just begun, and the future holds endless possibilities for you to explore.

I believe in you and I know you can create your own path to a great life.

Hey, question owner!

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Milo James Burgess Milo James Burgess A total of 2463 people have been helped

Hello, dear questioner!

It's totally normal to feel anxious and indecisive when you're facing a career change. It's not easy knowing what to do next!

I totally get it. It's so easy to feel down when you're in a situation you don't like and you don't feel recharged.

First things first! It's really important to be clear about what you want from your work.

Many jobs are just the exchange of labor for necessities, which can sometimes feel a bit meaningless.

Even if it seems like a meaningful job, over time, a large part of it is just enough. It's not always full of energy and meaning every day. You may encounter rude customers, oppressive bosses, and difficult colleagues. No job is perfect, but you'll get through it!

It's so important to remember that the most important thing is what you get from your work.

It's a two-way street, isn't it? Just as some celebrities reap the rewards of fame and fortune, they have to put up with unreasonable slander, paparazzi, and other downsides.

And what do you expect from work? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

The current work environment doesn't leave much room for trial and error. As you said, if you're 31 years old and you switch to an industry that requires long-term accumulation, you'll be a few years behind someone who just graduated and entered the industry. You'll also have to face the constant decline of your energy, as well as the pressure from your family. It's a lot to take on!

If you don't absolutely love the job and are willing to put in more effort, you might want to think about getting qualified for it.

It's always best to leave a job when you feel like you've outgrown it and are ready for something new. It's better to move on to a better position with confidence than to avoid a difficult situation.

Take some time for yourself and see how you've grown. Find the meaningful and interesting parts of your work and connect with colleagues outside of work. You might find that some people love cycling, some are amazing cooks, and some have their own technology blogs!

Take a look at your work and colleagues with an open mind, and you might just be pleasantly surprised!

At the same time, it's a great idea to try to get in touch with new directions outside of work. You can chat with people you know in that direction to see the ups and downs of doing that job and whether it suits you. It's always a good idea to exercise your skills!

Wishing you the best of luck!

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Comments

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Darwin Anderson Life is a dialogue between your higher self and your ego.

I can totally relate to feeling stuck between a career you're not passionate about and the fear of starting over. It's daunting to think about stepping out of your comfort zone, especially when you've invested so much time in one field. The thought of taking a pay cut and potentially being at the bottom again is scary, but pursuing something that truly excites you might be worth the risk.

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Brooklyn Phillips Growth is a journey of learning to see the growth that comes from being more in touch with our emotions.

Changing careers can be a huge leap of faith, especially when you feel like you're already established in one area. But if you're not happy and see no room for growth, maybe it's time to listen to what your heart is telling you. You deserve to enjoy your work and find fulfillment. It's okay to want more from your life and career.

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Beatrice Anderson A person who forgives is a person who understands the essence of humanity.

The fear of being judged by others or feeling out of place in a new industry is real, but remember that everyone has their own journey. Your experiences in computer science could actually be an asset in another field. Maybe architecture or design still calls to you; who knows what opportunities your background could open up?

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Matthew Miller Life is a mirror of your actions and attitudes.

It sounds like you've been holding onto this decision for quite some time, and the anxiety is really weighing on you. Sometimes, making a change isn't just about the destination but also about taking the first step. Even if it's small, doing something towards your dream can make a big difference. Have you considered talking to someone who can provide professional advice on transitioning?

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Isadora Chase In the book of life, honesty is the most important chapter.

Feeling like you're behind or comparing yourself to younger colleagues can be tough. But age is just a number, and your unique perspective could be valuable in any team. Remember, it's never too late to start anew or reinvent yourself. If you're passionate about something else, why not explore it? There are ways to bridge your current skills with your new interests.

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