What if I don't get along with others at work and it affects my work?

Good day, my name is Beric.

It is acknowledged that individuals who are marginalized in the workplace, particularly in terms of teamwork, may experience significant distress. However, while personality is undoubtedly a significant factor, it is not an insurmountable obstacle. With the right approach, individuals can modify their behavior patterns to align with the demands of the workplace.

It is of the utmost importance to understand and accept one's own personality. Every individual possesses a unique set of personality traits, which may include introversion or extroversion.

Individuals who are introverted tend to prioritize internal thinking over external socialization. This does not imply that introversion is inherently disadvantageous; rather, it necessitates the identification of a communication style that aligns with one's workplace preferences.

It is important to accept one's own personality and to avoid placing excessive demands on oneself to become completely extroverted. Instead, on the basis of being introverted, it is beneficial to learn to communicate more effectively with one's colleagues.

Subsequently, it is advisable to proactively identify opportunities for communication with colleagues. These may include informal settings such as lunch or the pantry, where one can initiate conversations to gain insights into their professional and personal lives.

This will facilitate the establishment of cordial relationships with colleagues, thereby laying the foundation for subsequent collaboration.

Furthermore, it is crucial to develop effective communication skills, including active listening and self-expression. Listening is a fundamental aspect of interpersonal relationships, as it enables individuals to comprehend the thoughts and needs of their colleagues, facilitating more productive collaboration.

Additionally, it is crucial to develop the ability to express one's views and ideas in a clear and effective manner. This will ensure that colleagues are able to comprehend the progress of one's work and the challenges encountered, prompting them to offer assistance and support when needed.

Ultimately, developing self-confidence is a crucial aspect of addressing the challenge of being an outsider. One can enhance their self-confidence by consistently enhancing their professional abilities and becoming a more valuable member of the team.

Additionally, it is crucial to learn to confront one's strengths and weaknesses, avoid excessive self-criticism, and maintain a positive outlook.

In conclusion, although personality is an important factor, there are strategies and methods that can be employed to overcome the issue of being an outsider in the workplace. The key is to understand and accept one's personality, actively seek opportunities to interact with colleagues, learn to listen and express oneself, and build self-confidence.

In this manner, one can maintain one's own character traits while simultaneously achieving superior outcomes in the workplace.

I wish you the best of success.

Hi there! I read your description and I totally get where you're coming from. A lot of people run into similar issues at work.

It's not unusual for people to not communicate with their colleagues, so there's no need to worry too much.

You're aware of the problem and have taken the initiative to raise it, which is a great start. It's not a difficult problem to solve, and I'm confident you can handle it. To solve a problem, you have to first define it. What exactly is causing these phenomena? Let's take a look!

1. Take a closer look at what's driving this phenomenon.

There could be a number of reasons for this.

✅Maybe it's because you're an introvert and not great at communicating with others proactively and on time.

Or maybe there's a lack of awareness about the importance of proactive communication with colleagues. But the important thing is that, as professionals, we need to recognize that communication is really important for teamwork, work efficiency, and personal promotion and development.

✅Not thinking about the whole chain: You said that "the company has taken on an important project that requires close teamwork, which shows that you understand the importance of the project and the importance of close communication." But there was still a lack of timely communication during a critical stage, which shows that you don't fully understand the core role of this critical node in the overall project, including what this point and the other colleagues in the collaboration chain mean. For example, building a car involves many processes. Maybe it seems that the absence of one screw in your process doesn't have a significant impact, but from the perspective of overall quality control, or from the perspective of the person doing the next process, the absence of this screw will make the product a scrap. Of course, my example may not correspond to the actual situation, but the point is to use this example to visually express the importance of looking at problems from the whole chain. On the surface, it is a communication problem, but in fact, it may also be a lack of understanding of the whole chain, which leads to a lack of communication.

✅ It also includes the ability to "think in other people's shoes" in cross-departmental collaboration. Sometimes in the workplace, when members of different departments or projects collaborate to complete a task, they may also work in their own silos, only looking at issues from the perspective of their own department, thinking about interests, rights and responsibilities, and lacking empathy. This is the context in which the situation you mentioned may occur.

So, try to figure out what the real reason is. If communication skills are the "technique" and empathy and the ability to think along the entire chain are the "principle" level, they go hand-in-hand. Often, only when the "principle" is in place can the "technique" be effective.

So don't be too hard on yourself. When you really get down to it, there are actually quite a few reasons behind this, and it's not that you're "unable to get along with others," as you define it. Don't put that label on yourself and give yourself negative suggestions. Remember not to give yourself negative labels, as you will unconsciously accept these suggestions and agree with them.

This kind of negative thinking and self-blame will only trap you and make you lack confidence in future "interpersonal interactions and teamwork." It's already happened, and I can feel your self-blame. But you're also trying to find a solution. Look at it positively; it's here to help you grow and break through.

2. Here are some ideas for how to solve this problem:

The first is the "technique" level:

1. Stay in touch with your colleagues. Set a regular time, like once a week, to chat with them about what's going on at work, what you need, and what problems you're having.

2. Get involved in your team discussions. In meetings or discussions, share your thoughts and ideas. Show your colleagues what you can do.

3. Learn to listen: When you're talking with colleagues, don't just talk about your own ideas. Listen to what they have to say, too. This will help you build good working relationships.

4. Improve communication skills: You can brush up on your communication skills by reading relevant books, attending training courses, or asking colleagues with strong communication skills for advice. For example, you can check out the following books:

"Manager's Reference: Effective Communication" is a practical guide for managers and professionals looking to improve their communication skills. The book offers a range of effective communication strategies and practical tools to help managers lead teams, handle challenges, and build stronger working relationships.

Communication Power: 33 Golden Rules for Business Communication: A great read on how to improve your communication skills at work. The book shows you how to receive and share information better, and helps you create a positive communication atmosphere.

"3 Sentences to Improve Communication Skills" is a book that helps you solve communication problems in the workplace. Through simple case studies, you'll learn how to handle critical situations with confidence and become a pro at workplace communication.

These books offer different perspectives and methods, so you can choose the ones that suit you best.

5. Find common ground: Look for shared interests or topics with your colleagues. This can help you connect and communicate with them more easily.

6. Expand your personality dimension? You might be an introvert, and you may be more logical in thinking, more technical in research and analysis, and less sensitive to people. That's okay, nobody's perfect. Whether you're introverted or extroverted, every personality has its advantages and disadvantages, but your personality can develop dynamically with various factors such as environment and goals. I personally feel deeply about this. I am also an introvert, but due to work, my personality dimension is constantly expanding. Maybe I can't completely become another style, but I can switch my style in order to "serve my goals." Outside of work, I prefer to be alone, but when I'm at work, I also like to communicate closely with my customers. The most important thing is to accept that this adjustment is interesting, meaningful, and valuable, otherwise adjustment and switching will make you feel pain.

The most important thing is to stay positive. Try to make gradual changes and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Every little improvement adds up, and I believe you will gradually overcome this problem and better integrate into the team.

The second level is what I call the "Tao" level.

✍Look at things from a [more comprehensive perspective]. You'll then know that a small communication action in your part of the process may be the best way to move the whole project forward, while the opposite may bring hidden dangers and risks. Of course, this is related to various dimensions such as [the level you are at, the comprehensiveness of the information you have, and the project leader's arrangement of project goals and plans]. Give yourself some time and opportunities to grow and mature, and you'll become more and more adept at it, I believe.

✍ Learn to think systematically. Get to know how the whole company works, how different departments fit in, and how the business runs its processes. This way, you can see the big picture and spot the connections between different parts of the business. Proactively understand the company's strategic goals, market dynamics, and industry trends. Link your work to the overall goals.

✍Get involved in cross-departmental projects: Jump in and help out on cross-departmental projects, work with colleagues from different departments, and get to know what they do and what they need.

✍Think about things from other departments' perspectives. Identify common goals and interests to coordinate actions better during interdepartmental communication. Try to see things from other people's points of view and understand their difficulties and concerns to build good working relationships.

Of course, the company level also needs to set some clear rules and processes for how we work together, make sure everyone knows what they're responsible for, and avoid any conflicts or misunderstandings.

If you can think holistically and across departments, you can improve communication in the workplace, encourage collaboration between departments, boost efficiency, and improve team performance. You can also enhance your personal influence in the team.

I hope my sharing has been inspiring and helpful. I also hope you can become stronger and more influential through repeated setbacks, become a better version of yourself, and excel in your career.

If you have any other questions, feel free to ask. Wishing you the best.

Hello, my name is Zeyu, and I'm happy to be here!

From what I can see, the questioner is totally on top of things and knows exactly what they're doing. So, there's no need for us to focus on changing ourselves, but rather on making changes to the current situation.

First of all, we've already made it clear that the task is important, so there's no need to dwell on the consequences of not doing it. Instead, let's imagine what benefits we could gain if we temporarily slowed down a bit. These benefits could be material or otherwise. Let's think big and imagine what that could look like. If we can predict possible scenarios in detail, it will be easier to adjust our current pace and state.

Now, let's think of ways to stay connected with the team when it comes to sharing information. The best way to do this is to take the initiative to adjust and try to share information and communicate with others. Of course, this might be challenging and not what we want to do, but as adults, we really need to do things that we don't like very much sometimes. We can soothe our emotions at work and in life so that we will not resist temporary changes. If we regard these changes as temporary rather than permanent, it will be easier for us to accept and act.

If the questioner wants to make adjustments to this matter, we can also choose to objectively look at what has happened, recognize our responsibility in this matter, and then express our heartfelt apologies to all parties concerned at an appropriate time. This can effectively dispel possible misunderstandings and prejudices, and then also give others the opportunity to see what kind of person you really are. Sometimes showing weakness appropriately can get us more benefits in the group. If the questioner is reluctant to do this, we can respect their feelings and not do it.

Finally, when it comes to social misfits in the workplace, it's always worth trying to work on the things we can change first. And if there are parts we can't change, it can be really helpful to focus on using our strengths to make up for them.

Good morning, I have been considering this issue for some time and I am now ready to discuss it with you. I am not yet sure if the information I have to offer will be of benefit to you, but I am prepared to share it with you nevertheless. I am confident that you will be able to make an assessment of its value for yourself. I look forward to our discussion and to making progress together.

As with any individual, personality traits are a combination of advantages and disadvantages. It is beneficial that Youyou is able to interact effectively with others despite these traits.

As you mentioned, modifying one's inherent characteristics is challenging. An individual who has become accustomed to a certain way of doing things requires a significant amount of time and deliberate practice to alter their approach. This involves a period of adjustment where the new habit may initially be weaker than the old one. There is a possibility of a rebound effect, where the old habit reasserts itself. However, with sustained effort and a willingness to adapt, the new habit can become firmly established.

If you are willing to embrace change, we can achieve it together. Just as the old man who moved mountains, we can open new pathways for the village and future generations. With dedication and effort, we can accomplish anything.

In essence, if every personality has its pros and cons, we can strive to capitalise on our strengths and circumvent our weaknesses, or implement suitable modifications to offset our weaknesses. While such deliberate practice may not yield immediate results, it is not a short life, and there will always be instances where you can witness the outcomes.

As an introvert, I can empathize with the challenges of navigating social interactions in the workplace. Despite my proficiency in typing, I often find it difficult to engage in face-to-face conversations. I experience a degree of social anxiety when confronted with large groups of people, which can make it challenging to interact with colleagues. I recall an instance when I was approached by a neighbor with her infant while I was occupied with my doll collection. I was initially uncertain about how to respond, but I quickly reminded myself to remain calm and composed. I took a moment to collect my thoughts and then initiated a brief interaction. I greeted the neighbor, expressed my interest in her child, and inquired about her well-being. Despite the brief nature of the interaction, it was a positive experience. I encouraged myself to persevere and recognize the value in having accepted the situation. I reminded myself that I am capable of handling similar situations in the future.

Over time, I've started to greet people I know when I see them outside, and even exchange a few words with a smile. It has been a positive experience. Although I'm still a person who prefers to be alone, to think independently, and to write, I've learned to listen carefully and patiently to what other people have to say, and then ask questions and continue to listen patiently to what other people have to say.

As an illustration, we can utilize work as a foundation for this deliberate practice, beginning with the application of your strengths and avoidance of your weaknesses in the workplace.

It is still possible to maintain your own identity at work. You may choose not to communicate with your colleagues, not to participate in their meals, and to avoid any private interactions with them.

Upon entering the workplace, we assume a new role as employees in a specific position. The company has hired us because we meet its hiring standards, which means we can do the job well and excel in it.

It is important to adopt a proactive approach when faced with unfamiliar tasks. Even if it means being bold and asking for clarification, it is essential to inquire without hesitation. Asking questions without shame is actually a virtue.

I would like to share with you a story about Confucius. When he entered the ancestral temple, he inquired about various matters. Alternatively, it is said, "Who says that the son of Zeng knows about propriety?"

"The Master said, 'When you enter the ancestral temple, inquire about everything.'" The Master heard this and said, "That is the way of propriety."

"

I will provide a translation for you. Confucius once visited the ancestral temple of the ruler of the state of Lu to attend a ceremony honoring the ancestors of the ruler. Upon entering the ancestral temple, he inquired about various matters.

Another individual interjected, "Who asserts that Ziliao's son Zhilie is versed in the principles of propriety? He entered the ancestral temple and was compelled to seek counsel from others on a multitude of matters."

Upon hearing this remark, Confucius responded, "This is what is meant by propriety."

It is always preferable to ask for clarification on any matter that is unclear to you, rather than proceed with it and then attempt to rectify the situation afterwards. My family members occasionally express frustration when I request further details, but I persevere in my inquiries. I believe it is more beneficial to receive constructive criticism in advance than after the fact. I learned from my own experiences as a child that attempting to comprehend something when you are not fully informed is unwise. I would rather adhere to the principles espoused by Confucius: "When walking with three others, I will surely find a teacher among them." And, "When entering the ancestral temple, ask about everything."

People are always changing, for better or for worse. Have you considered how you would like to change? I would like to improve. I hope my answer can be of assistance to you.

Practice makes perfect. After the third attempt, you will be able to complete the task with ease. To illustrate, when discussing this topic with you, I progressed from initially feeling unsure of where to start to writing freely with the initial intention of helping you, to gaining direction from the confusion, and finally, getting carried away as I wrote more. This demonstrates the importance of execution.

Identify potential obstacles and develop a plan to overcome them.

I am confident in your ability to succeed. Best regards,

Dear Question Asker, You have indicated that you do not engage in active communication with your colleagues. However, this may result in a lack of awareness regarding the team's work progress and evolving needs, which could potentially impact your performance. This process may entail two key aspects:

Firstly, it is important to ascertain whether your current level of focus and attention is sufficient, given that if this is a work requirement, it is likely to have been explicitly stated, rather than requiring you to actively communicate it.

Secondly, if one's attention is focused and the situation arises again where one's work requirements are not communicated to them, at this time, will one ascribe blame to oneself or will one question one's colleagues? When faced with this kind of neglect, especially if it affects the evaluation of one's work, one must still bravely question it.

I previously held a similar perspective. When confronted with a discrepancy or contradiction, I would tend to circumvent the issue rather than confront it directly. Consequently, I would attribute the failure to communicate effectively to my own shortcomings, suggesting that I had not proactively sought information, which resulted in its lack of dissemination to me.

From a psychological perspective, this situation reflects a lack of self-confidence. The individual feels that questioning the other party will result in a strong negative response and is unable to protect themselves. Consequently, they suppress their anger and turn it inward, causing them to attack and deny themselves. As previously mentioned, the individual perceives their personality as being too passive, which affects their work.

Indeed, for those who are introverted, it is not uncommon for communication to be passive. This should not, however, be viewed as a deficiency in the workplace.

Consequently, in order to resolve these issues, it is essential to acknowledge the presence of a "conflict avoidance + self-denial" cycle within one's cognitive processes. To disrupt this cycle, it may be necessary to develop the ability to express one's emotions (such as feelings of being ignored by the team), articulate one's doubts (for example, by inquiring as to why notifications were not provided in a standard manner), and communicate requests in a neutral manner (such as by suggesting the synchronisation of information through reasonable channels).

It is possible that the external environment may not be as intimidating as initially perceived, and that requests will be met with a positive response.

I extend my best wishes for success in your professional endeavors.

Hope my answer helps!

I get the feeling you don't like to take the initiative in relationships. I don't know what taking the initiative means to you. From the human instinct of "seeking benefits and avoiding harm," you may feel that taking the initiative means "danger" and is a behavior that needs to be avoided. Therefore, subconsciously, out of self-protection, you rarely take the initiative to communicate with your colleagues. But the reality is that when you don't take the initiative to communicate, it will cause even greater harm, and even affect the progress and quality of the entire company's project. In the long run, will it also affect our own career development?

So, we need to take a closer look at what's driving us to avoid communicating with others and how we can make it easier and smoother for ourselves to communicate with others.

My advice to you is:

1. Think back to your past relationships, especially how you interacted with your parents. Do you also rarely start conversations? Why are you reluctant to start conversations?

What does it mean to you to take the initiative to communicate?

Think back to your childhood and see if our patterns in relationships are related to the fact that we rarely initiate communication, especially in your original relationship with your parents, and whether you also rarely express yourself? How we communicate is actually related to our childhood experiences, so we need to be aware of the impact of early experiences on us, to see why we are reluctant to initiate communication, and how we would feel if we did initiate communication ourselves?

Is it that you feel a lot of pressure, that you feel rejected and denied, or something else? Chances are, we've all had similar experiences in relationships at some point. When we were kids, we tried to communicate proactively, but we didn't get the response we wanted. We were either ignored, denied, or criticized. This has led to an automatic association in us: "Proactively communicating" means being uncomfortable and being in danger. So, to protect ourselves, we automatically choose to avoid communicating.

But in reality, this isn't always the case. Think back to some of your experiences. Isn't it true that when you put in the extra effort to communicate, things go more smoothly, nothing terrible happens, and sometimes even good results and feedback are brought about? Therefore, we need to understand ourselves on a deeper level and see the internal motivations behind our actions in order to fundamentally solve the problem.

When you understand yourself better, see why you're afraid, accept how past experiences affect you, and realize there are other ways of doing things, you'll have the power to change.

2. We can be ourselves when we're alone, but we also need to understand that when we're in a relationship, we need to take responsibility for our role.

Yes, we need to be ourselves and show our true colors, but from a psychological standpoint, being yourself is different in different situations and contexts. Generally speaking, a more mature approach is to be yourself when you're alone and play your part when you're with others. That is, when we're alone, we can be our truest selves, doing the things we like and not holding back at all; and when we're with others, we need to play our part well and do what's expected of us.

This way, we'll feel comfortable in the relationship.

I remember when I first started as a counselor, I had similar issues as you. I always saw myself as a counselor, wanting to counsel everyone. But I didn't realize I had different roles in different relationships. If I kept assuming the counselor role, I'd get confused in many relationships. Later, when I only played the role of that relationship in each one, I felt much more relaxed and had fewer conflicts.

In my personal life, I play different roles. I'm a wife, a mother, and a daughter. I'm also a parent to my child's classmates. When I'm counseling, I like to think of myself as a more authentic version of myself. I enjoy that role when I'm counseling alone. But in other relationships, I need to let go of that role. That way, I'm more comfortable and at ease, whether I'm alone or in a relationship.

Yes, we all have our own personalities, and we need to be true to ourselves, but we need to know the difference between situations. When we are in a working relationship, we are in a state of coexistence, and we need to do our part well. This is actually our responsibility at work, right? You must also believe that you must be competent in your work and that you must be valuable to your company. You have contributed, and you can continue to develop and grow.

3. You're not a powerless child anymore. You can express yourself in relationships, but we need to pay attention to how and what you express so that communication is no longer stressful, but relaxed and comfortable.

Let's look at an example first.

A colleague, A, has been giving B a hard time lately because B submitted a proposal to the leadership that involved a lot of work that A had to do. They're both equal in rank, but B didn't run it by A before submitting it, and A has to do a lot of work, not to mention that the credit can't be given to her.

A is a bit upset, but then she remembers that she had previously arranged a project and removed a request that B really needed, and she wonders if B is trying to get back at her.

So, what should Xiao A do at this point? Let's break it down into four steps.

First, take a step back and think about what you really need. Distress often comes from a real need.

Xiao A is upset because she cares about her relationship with Xiao B. She and Xiao B have always worked well together.

So she doesn't want to lose the relationship, which is her main priority. Apart from that, Xiao B's plan might be too much work for her, so she hopes that the plan can be adjusted, which is her other main priority.

The second step is to figure out what the other person wants. From what Xiao A knows about Xiao B, she doesn't think Xiao B would joke about work. Maintaining professionalism has always been an important part of Xiao B's needs. In addition, the happy working relationship in the past was not something Xiao A could achieve on her own, so it is certain that Xiao B also has the need to establish a good relationship.

However, last time, Xiao B's request was turned down, which might have upset her. So, she's hoping that Xiao A will communicate and respond honestly, which might be what Xiao B wants.

The third step is to find a different solution. For Xiao A, there are three options: one is to say no to Xiao B's plan, but the leader has already agreed to it, and saying no won't help the relationship.

The second option is to accept Xiao B's plan, but she's upset and can't do her best work with those feelings. The third option is to make some changes to the plan, remove what she can't accept, and keep the parts of the plan that she thinks Xiao B values most.

Clearly, the best option here is the third one.

The fourth step is to talk it through. After a frank discussion, A apologises for cutting B's requests last time, and B shares her feelings about being given so much work without consultation.

After chatting for a while, Xiao B realized she hadn't taken the previous incident too seriously. Turns out, the arrangement she made for Xiao A this time was actually the leader's idea.

But she thought the leader would loop in Xiao A, and the leader thought she would loop in Xiao A. So neither of them said anything, which led to a misunderstanding.

Xiao A came up with her own solution, and after some discussion, she and her colleague reached an agreement and went back to the leader to resolve the issue.

If you're dealing with this kind of communication at work, you can follow these steps: first, understand your own and others' needs, and then find alternatives. This is all to prepare for the final step of discussion. During this process, remember to follow the principles of respectful, trusting, and supportive interactions. This will help you rebuild high-quality connections with your colleagues. You don't need to communicate with everyone too frequently. Just communicate about important things at work, and the pressure will be much less.

We hope you can build up your psychological resources and cultivate more positive emotions and perceptions. For example, if a relationship at work makes you feel bad and work goes badly, but you also grow from the relationship, you'll be better at dealing with people, you'll know more tactful ways to express yourself, you'll be better at coping with pressure, and you'll know how to work in adversity.

This means that even if there are bad relationships in the workplace, there's a good reason behind them, and they won't have a negative impact on you.

When we embrace the natural flow of true feelings in a mature way, we realize that the people we work with are just as vibrant and imperfect as we are. With respect, trust, and supportive interaction, we can work together to create a dynamic and positive workplace environment.

It's important to feel the joy of cooperation at work. We're all vulnerable and limited, and we all need support and recognition from others.

Let's all strive to be mature creators in the workplace! Let's work together and support each other!

Hello, I see you're feeling bad about this. You realize you may have overlooked something that's affecting the project. Your colleagues might be upset with you.

These negative emotions make you feel even more uncomfortable. If you can, try to make everyone happy. For example, order some milk tea takeout and give it to your colleagues and leaders to taste. Let everyone know you're sorry. Know that your mistake has affected the progress and quality, and deal with this first.

It can be hard to face negative emotions and apologize for your character traits. Some things are just too difficult to do. It's okay to make an effort to change your behavior by reflecting on the matter and yourself in the moment.

You see that not communicating with colleagues is not a bad thing. It is what made you who you are. You discovered this during your growth process. Retaining this trait allows you to grow more safely and live more steadfastly. This trait will always be there, protecting you. We use these familiar traits in our daily lives. Sometimes they work well, and sometimes they encounter obstacles. This may be a reminder that this trait may need to be fine-tuned in such an environment. How do we adjust?

It may be finding the right way to continue existing in your body when you encounter obstacles. How do you adjust? You try to change and adjust again and again through experience!

I hope this helps you face this new situation with courage and find a way to get along with your colleagues. Best wishes!

It's natural to put others' interests first. Not fitting in is just a lack of connection. Independence is the most important value.

After joining the workforce, I realized that my childhood aloofness was simple. As an adult, aloofness is hypocritical.

Everyone works in the same environment. To get things done, you need to take shortcuts. To be "well-adjusted," you need to maintain a good relationship with everyone. This means saying things you don't believe in order to maintain a good relationship with everyone.

Is it because you're afraid of being lonely or talked about? Or is it because you're not strong?

A person's inner strength is how long they can be alone without others understanding. Can hypocrisy help me at work?

It's nothing in itself.

Your relationships aren't always related to whether you're introverted or extroverted.

An outgoing person who likes to communicate is more likely to have a rich social life. This doesn't mean that only extroverts can have good relationships.

Introversion is not a disadvantage.

Many successful people are introverts. They are happy and strong inside. They are sensitive to outside things and don't like too much stimulation. They are good at getting along with people, but they need time alone to recharge.

Being introverted is not the same as being antisocial. It's a normal state.

Introverts don't like to start conversations. They hide their emotions. Some introverts isolate themselves. They dislike social interaction. They can even become irritated by the sound of people's voices.

But introverts who meet someone they like or are willing to communicate with can still communicate normally and eloquently. They just don't like to expose their thoughts in front of more people.

Your personality doesn't affect your success.

How can you change the situation? Don't confuse changing the situation with changing yourself.

1. Give up your preferences and make others happy.

We can't change the rules of the workplace, but we can adapt. Adapting doesn't mean changing your personality or deliberately conforming.

Good relationships at work are based on communication without personal preferences or emotional judgments. Outside of work, we can also choose colleagues with similar interests to be friends.

The key to good work relationships is being convenient for others and yourself. Being tolerant is a good way to make friends at work.

This is something you can do in addition to following the rules at work.

2. Show off your strengths and position yourself correctly.

Is your job a good fit for you?

If you're struggling with relationships at work, first decide if your current role is right for you.

Let your personality help you choose the right career.

Manage your impression, and you will be labeled.

People often call introverts "unfriendly," "unenthusiastic," and "aloof." But you can decide what kind of person you are and let others know. When people talk about you, they'll see what you're like.

Any characteristic can become your label.

If you don't have a label, you also don't have a sense of "being." If you're not the first person people think of when something comes up, and if you're not the first person to get a chance, this is the most important thing to avoid.

It doesn't matter if you're an extrovert or an introvert, or if you're good at speaking. If you find your own memory points, people will have a good impression of you. This is the most important step in managing relationships.

4. Learn to choose what to do based on what they want.

Introverts have many advantages. They are meticulous, can capture emotions accurately, always perform well, work harder, and focus more. They can also be perceptive, which is a great advantage in the workplace.

For example, match the other person's pace and arouse their emotions to make communication smoother.

You can understand your leader's unspoken meaning and make them feel at ease.

For example, noticing details others overlook, helping others in critical moments, and controlling your work.

This is not the same as brown-nosing. It's about being quick-witted, considerate, and catering to others' preferences. To achieve this, you need to consider others' needs, empathize with them, and be insightful.

5. Work comes first.

The above four points are based on the idea that performance and ability are the most important things.

In the workplace, strength is key. If you're not good at your job and don't perform well, even if everyone likes you, you won't develop much.

If you're doing well, people will like you.

Carl Jung said, "No one is perfect. If you find someone who is, they're probably crazy."

Here's a poem:

I was born to be different.

I'm a quiet person. Sometimes I'm in a bad mood.

I've been isolated and criticized.

I've had times of self-doubt and times when I've been on the verge of collapse.

Being with others is boring. Being alone is boring.

It's human nature to be different.

I decided to be mute.

Less hostility, less speech, live from the heart.

Aristotle said, "People who live alone are either beasts or gods."

"If I can't be a god, I might as well be a beast."

—Wendi

Good morning, question asker! I'm Jiang 61.

I'm grateful you've brought this up for discussion. It's a good opportunity to consider one of the factors that contribute to happiness: "fear of public opinion." You've asked, "What if being an outsider in the workplace affects my work?"

"From your brief introduction, I can see you are going through a challenging time. I want to offer you my support and guidance in any way I can.

1. Introduction

1⃣️, marginalization

You mentioned that you don't communicate with your colleagues as often as you'd like in the workplace. This has unfortunately led to you feeling marginalized in team discussions and collaborations. You also feel that you're unable to keep up with the team's work progress and needs, which has caused your work to become disconnected from the team's overall goals.

I believe that marginalization may be a contributing factor.

The questioner mentioned that they feel marginalized by colleagues in the workplace, which may be the reason for their relatively infrequent communication with colleagues. This could have contributed to the questioner's work becoming disconnected from the team.

I believe there may be an underlying reason.

From what I can gather from the questioner's introduction, it seems there may be another aspect of the questioner that is contributing to the situation. It's possible that the underlying reason for the questioner being "marginalized" is that they have social anxiety.

2. Details

You mentioned that two weeks ago, the company received an important project that required the entire team to work closely together. However, it seems that there was a misunderstanding during a critical stage of the project due to a lack of communication. This ultimately affected the progress and quality of the entire project.

Perhaps we could improve communication?

Indeed, as the questioner describes, communication is very important in teamwork, and it is one of the keys to the success or failure of a project. It seems that, because the questioner is not good at communicating and is marginalized by everyone, when working on the project, the information that the questioner is responsible for is not shared in a timely manner, which affects the progress and quality of the project.

It is understandable that the questioner feels a sense of guilt.

For this reason, the questioner feels a great deal of guilt and believes that the majority of the responsibility for the project's shortcomings lies with you. I must say that I am very grateful for the questioner's admirable qualities of taking responsibility and being willing to take responsibility, which are highly valued in the workplace.

There are some management issues that need to be addressed.

It is clear that the questioner should accept some responsibility for this unfortunate incident. However, it also brought to light some issues with the way the team is managed.

It would seem that the team project leader may have some deficiencies in coordinating project progress, collaboration, inspection, and supervision of project completion. Even if the questioner has communication deficiencies, they will be avoided under the management of collaborative meetings and inspections and supervision.

3⃣️, Question

You say, "I've come to recognize that this is simply my natural disposition, and that it can be challenging to make significant changes in the short term. Could there be ways to mitigate the impact of this nonconformity on my work?"

Perhaps we could consider a breakthrough?

The questioner feels that their personality may present certain challenges when it comes to communication and interpersonal relationships, as well as making short-term changes.

I wonder if I might ask a question.

As you can see, the questioner also wants to change the current state of being uncooperative, but is unsure of how to go about doing so. Next, let's discuss what went wrong and how we might address it.

2. Potential reasons for failure to break through

1⃣️, self-imposed limits

One possible reason for this is self-limiting.

Self-limiting, also known as self-hindrance, is a psychological defense mechanism in which an individual may unintentionally set obstacles or reduce their efforts in order to avoid or reduce the negative impact of poor performance, thereby increasing the chance of externalizing the cause of failure.

It could be helpful to define what is meant by the term "character problem."

The questioner believes that the reason for this problem may be that he is not as adept at communicating with others as he would like to be and is introverted. The questioner attributes his difficulties to his personality and may feel that he is unable to change.

It may also result in the questioner setting limits on themselves and finding no reason to change.

2⃣️, Social phobia

It might be helpful to consider the possibility of social phobia.

Social phobia, also known as social anxiety disorder, is a psychological state in which an individual may experience intense anxiety and fear when faced with social or public situations.

It would be beneficial to consider the following manifestations:

It seems that the questioner believes that they communicate with their colleagues very little. Could it be that, before communicating, the questioner has any worries or thoughts that cause them not to communicate with their colleagues often? This situation could be indicative of social phobia.

It is often the case that social phobia has its roots in feelings of excessive concern about what others think, a fear that one's performance will fail to meet others' expectations, or a sense of unfamiliarity and discomfort in social situations. As a result, people with social phobia may find themselves trying to avoid contact with others as much as possible, or avoiding participating in these situations, or enduring them with great anxiety.

It is also worth noting that this fear may manifest in various behaviors in public places, such as speaking, dining, or using public facilities.

3⃣, professionalism

Professionalism

Professional quality can be understood as the norms and requirements inherent in a profession, as well as the comprehensive qualities demonstrated in the course of a career. It encompasses professional ethics, professional skills, professional conduct, professional style, and professional awareness. These elements play an important role in determining the success or failure of a person's career.

It would be beneficial to enhance one's career awareness.

From the questioner's introduction, it can be seen that the questioner has performed well in terms of work ethics, skills, behavior, and style. However, there may be room for improvement in terms of professional awareness, i.e., a deeper understanding of how to gain professional recognition and understanding in the workplace, as well as the pursuit and expectations of career development. This could potentially lead to more effective and timely improvement in the basic communication requirements of the profession. This is also a significant area for potential growth and development, which could help the questioner to break through in communication.

3. What might be done?

It would be beneficial to enhance career awareness.

It would be beneficial to create a well-thought-out career plan.

The quality of your career planning can have a significant impact on the length of your career. It would be beneficial to take it seriously and set yourself a practical career goal. Then, you could promote your own planning according to your career goals.

It would be beneficial to enhance your professional awareness.

It would be beneficial for us to gain a deeper understanding of the rules and norms that govern our industry. Similarly, it would be advantageous for us to enhance our career awareness and strive to improve our abilities in all aspects, in line with the requirements of our chosen career path. This could include developing our communication skills, ensuring that we are not falling behind or holding the team back, and doing our own work to the best of our abilities.

As previously discussed, it is not currently feasible for us to enhance our communication abilities. However, we can continue to provide regular updates to the project leader or designated individual regarding our work, share pertinent information, and maintain communication with the team.

2⃣️, Overcome social anxiety

It might be helpful to seek psychological counseling.

It is important to note that social phobia is different from introversion. Social phobia is a psychological disorder, while introversion is a personality trait. With the right support, social phobia can be changed and alleviated through psychological counseling and treatment.

?? Overcoming fear

It is not uncommon for individuals in similar situations to focus more on work-related matters and engage in more frequent discussions about work-related topics at work. One possible approach to addressing social anxiety is to identify a person with whom you feel more comfortable communicating and discussing your strengths. This could potentially help to reduce your fear.

With time, our social side will gradually open up, and our social skills will gradually become more developed.

3⃣, consider ways to enhance communication skills

Communication skills

Communication skills can be defined as the ability of an individual to exchange information with others in an effective manner. It encompasses the capacity to express oneself as well as the ability to listen and respond constructively.

It might be helpful to consider ways of exercising communication skills.

The questioner may find it reassuring to know that many people who are new to the workplace also face similar challenges with their communication skills. However, with dedication, learning, and practice, these skills can gradually improve, leading to career advancement.

It is possible to improve communication skills through learning and practice. If we are able to put ourselves last, not worry about other people's opinions, focus on the content of communication, accumulate communication materials, learn and cultivate communication skills, learn related knowledge, and express ourselves boldly in various situations, we may find that our communication skills improve.

I believe that with the right approach and a bit of confidence, we can all improve our communication skills.

Questioner, now that we've entered the workplace, it's important to be prepared for the challenges that may arise. We should strive to do a good job of career planning, try to improve ourselves according to the rules of the workplace, and adapt to the requirements of the workplace. These are the topics I'd like to discuss with you.

I hope it will be helpful to the questioner in their own personal development.

I would like to extend my best wishes to the questioner for their future endeavors.

Good day, I have a question for you.

Your recent correspondence demonstrates that you are on the right path. You are seeking to "become self-aware, dare to explore, face up to things, be responsible, and do the right thing." Despite your previous assertion that you are not sociable, you are eager to grow positively and improve your current situation as soon as possible. I commend you for this positive attitude and behavior.

Let's discuss the available options together.

The text describes the necessity of teamwork for the completion of the project, and although you did not initiate communication, you have been monitoring the progress and developments of the work.

This demonstrates that you consistently maintain an appropriate professional distance and provide others with the necessary space to avoid any negative perceptions or reluctance to interact with you. This illustrates your strength and commitment to self-cultivation.

There are two sides to every situation. Excessive flexibility may not be conducive to fostering closer relationships. If you can identify the appropriate level of boundaries, it is a question worth pondering.

The text describes the necessity for teams working on important projects to work closely together and examine themselves in order to identify the reasons for success or failure.

This demonstrates the value of seeking internal explanations for success or failure as a foundation for self-development. However, it is not necessary to assume full responsibility, as this can result in excessive self-blame and a sense of guilt.

Ultimately, there is a project lead, and you are a team member. You work according to the project lead's progress. It depends on whether the project lead has provided sufficient guidance. Who should be contacted for project-related inquiries?

Have you failed to grasp the matter sufficiently, or have you not understood it at all?

It is important to determine whether the issue is due to external factors or personal shortcomings. If the responsibility lies with others, there is no need to dwell on it internally or feel guilty.

If you are responsible for the situation, you should assess whether you have the necessary capabilities and resources to resolve it independently. Alternatively, if the task is beyond your capabilities, you may require assistance from others to achieve a solution.

...

Based on the above analysis, make a targeted judgment and try some methods to alleviate the situation, such as:

1) Communication

Effective communication with colleagues requires a certain set of skills. It is essential to speak in a manner that is acceptable to the other person, that they are comfortable listening to, and that they will find appealing, even if you intend to convey a positive message. Reading books on interpersonal communication, practicing in role-plays, and then applying what you have learned in practice are all valuable steps in developing these skills.

Do not be overly critical of yourself, and avoid excessive introspection. Reflect on the tendency to overthink and offer yourself positive affirmations, such as encouragement and praise for your attractiveness.

2) Relationships are key.

As Confucius once said, "If you study alone without friends, you will be narrow-minded and uninformed." This illustrates the importance of interpersonal relationships in any professional context.

Interpersonal relationships reflect one's self-awareness, understanding of others, and ability to respond to their feedback. Only by accurately perceiving oneself and others and acquiring comprehensive knowledge about both can one foster positive interactions and build intimacy.

The core components of interpersonal relationships are cooperation, communication, and mutual growth. The ability to establish relationships often depends on a positive attitude, emotional stability, understanding and caring for others, active social interaction (not passively avoiding), and the courage to engage (seeking common ground while reserving differences). Furthermore, interpersonal relationships should be cultivated from an early age, with mutual respect, sincerity, and attention to social etiquette. Small actions should be accumulated into big ones. Individuals should also be screened for those who share the same frequency, are pleasant, and help each other in a timely manner. This should be done in actual interactions to grasp various methods and techniques in interpersonal interactions.

Only through sincere treatment can we foster cooperation and connections with others. Sincerity is one of the most valuable human emotions in business.

(3) Trust is a key factor.

In the workplace, people tend to form opinions based on appearance and prefer those with established connections. Newcomers often face challenges in navigating interpersonal dynamics due to difficulties in gauging the appropriate tone and responding to the often-competitive nature of colleagues.

It is important to build self-confidence, maintain a degree of distance in your professional relationships, and avoid individuals who may be perceived as problematic. It is beneficial to occasionally engage in social activities, communicate openly, and foster a positive work environment.

(4) Learning ability is a key factor.

It is important to maintain an appropriate distance in important colleague relationships. By allowing the other person space, you are also giving yourself the opportunity to be less disruptive.

From the text description, it seems that your subconscious may equate being uncommunicative with not communicating. However, reality is not necessarily aligned with this perception. There are various reasons for being uncommunicative, and in an appropriate setting, there may be occasions when you prefer to engage in conversation. It would be beneficial to reflect on this.

It is possible that a lack of sociability at work does not equate to a lack of communication. When you require assistance from others, I believe you will take the initiative to communicate and learn what you need to know. You must believe in your ability to do a good job, which is very important.

(5) Remain humble and continue to advance.

Once you have achieved results, maintain a modest demeanor, but avoid excessive modesty. Remain composed and stable while also providing upward feedback and fostering information connections.

Do not engage in private competition with your supervisor for favor or attempt to ingratiate yourself with them. Instead, focus your energy on work results, and you will have the strength to win the value that is rightfully yours.

I recommend the following books: "How to Build Relationships" and "How to Handle Interpersonal Relationships." I encourage you to read these books and share your insights.

My name is Peiwen, and I extend my sincerest regards to the world.

Perhaps the issue is that you could benefit from being more sociable in the workplace, as this could help to improve the progress and quality of your work.

I believe there are two aspects to consider:

1. How might I improve my relationships with my colleagues?

2. Could I ask how communication and collaboration are carried out during the project process?

One is willingness, and the other is ability.

It would be beneficial to consider the following: 1. There may be room for improvement in the level of proactive communication with colleagues. This could potentially lead to feelings of marginalization and a disconnect between oneself and team goals. It's also possible that there may be instances where important information is not shared, which could affect progress and quality. 2. It's understandable that some individuals may find it challenging to break through in the short term, given their inherent personality traits.

I appreciate your input.

1. Lack of workplace awareness: The purpose of a company is to make a profit, and the workplace is an exchange of value and interests. People also exchange interests with each other. Going to work is not just about making friends with your colleagues. Everyone competes and cooperates with each other. In the end, everyone's value is reflected in the company's profits. In other words, your labor should be commensurate with your income. If you could be more proactive in communicating with your colleagues, you might find that they are more willing to help you with your tasks.

2. Build an emotional account at work: The workplace is a group of people working together. Communicating with colleagues not only enhances others' impression of you, but also allows you to understand each person's different needs. It is always beneficial to help colleagues within your abilities, as you may find yourself in need of help from them as well. This is the most basic principle in the workplace.

3. You don't need to change your personality, just your skills. Consider learning more about communication and social skills, and how to become a popular person. While introverts prefer to be alone, there are ways to appear popular without becoming extroverted. For example, you could learn how to make yourself appear popular by asking for help. Then, naturally, you need to thank others, which is a great way to get closer to others.

4. If key information is lacking during the project process, it may be an indication that you are not fully aware of your role and value in the project. It is therefore important to regularly check with the project leader what the focus and key results of the work are, as well as the value to the rest of the team. Each role in the project is interconnected, and each role is very important.

It would be beneficial to inquire, pay attention, and gain insight.

Hello, question asker! We work, we just go to work, but we can make friends at work!

So, colleagues are only concerned about the progress of work and won't worry about your personality or anything else. To make sure everything runs smoothly, we can try the following strategies to improve the situation. Since personality is innate and cannot be changed in a short period of time, we can focus on other ways to make things better!

First, let's express our problems in this regard sincerely in the team and promise to do our best to improve. At the same time, we're excited to get the understanding and help of our colleagues and work together to find a communication method that suits everyone!

Then, make sure you attend all your team meetings! These are great opportunities to learn more about the project and share your ideas. Even if you don't often take the initiative to speak, listening carefully and taking notes is a great way to stay up to date.

Use emails, instant messaging tools, internal social media platforms, or dedicated project management software to keep track of project status and task assignments in real time and ensure information transparency. It's a great way to stay on top of things!

It's also a great idea to set aside regular one-on-one time with your direct manager and key colleagues to get project updates and clear instructions on your personal responsibilities. And don't forget to schedule meetings or initiate discussions in advance for important milestones or handovers, so that your work results are successfully communicated to other team members!

If oral communication is difficult, don't worry! You can easily record all the details of your work, progress, and any problems you've encountered in written forms like emails, reports, and work logs. This will help other team members understand your work and assist you when needed.

By following the above measures, you can make a positive change in your communication style and teamwork processes. This will help you to compensate for any shortcomings in your personality and minimise the negative impact on your work.

Hello, questioner.

You said, "This is just the way I am." You're wrong. It's not easy for someone with your personality to try hard to integrate into society and find a job. You don't believe in that result, and you've suffered a lot.

From the boss's perspective, the ultimate goal is to make money, not to make a losing deal. If you were the boss, would you be happy to see this situation? Of course not.

You realized today that this character problem is the reason you are asking for help, and you already want to change and are already changing. As you said in your description, "it is difficult to break through or change in the short term."

Yes, personality is 10% genetic, 50% formed unconsciously from birth until you understand things, and 40% consciously cultivated after you understand things.

I used to tell myself that my personality was so bad, I was so hot-tempered, and no one could stand me. I thought I was destined to remain single. But when I returned to the workplace after giving birth to my child at the age of 28, I saw the ease with which my female boss controlled her emotions. I realized that I could still change.

I didn't start to understand things and cultivate my character until I was 28. I was impatient, irritable, and strong-willed, but I became more gentle. My male boss later thought I was unmarried.

As you said, it is difficult to change in the short term, so we will set a long-term goal to change step by step.

First, take the initiative to apologize to the team members, the leaders, and the boss for what just happened. Don't use your so-called character problems as an excuse to apologize. Be honest about your problems and your shortcomings. You know you're wrong, and you're eager to change.

If you're afraid to say this face to face, send a message or email. Show you know you were wrong and tell them how you're going to change.

You say you are not sociable and are afraid that others will not accept you. Accept yourself and allow yourself to make mistakes.

If you still don't know how to adjust and change, read Mr. Li Songwei's book, "5% Change." It will give you a better direction.

I wish you the best in your work, and I love you!

Hello! I'm Fairy, and I don't drink. I'm honored to answer your questions!

Some say life is a process of constantly moving forward through confusion.

You think the present is the hardest, but if you think about it,

You have already overcome obstacles. Action is the antidote to confusion. Let's act together!

Communication is important at work.

It's important for teamwork and projects.

If you're not good at initiating communication,

Try setting reminders and schedules.

Use a calendar or to-do app to remind you to communicate with colleagues.

This helps you communicate proactively.

You can start with small steps.

Start with simple greetings or asking about your colleagues' days.

Speak up in team meetings.

Even if it's just to ask questions or confirm information.

You can keep up with the team's progress and needs.

Find a colleague to help you with communication.

You can share your concerns with them.

Ask them to help you communicate with other colleagues when needed.

If you don't like talking in person, try email.

If you don't like talking in person, try emailing.

Use instant messaging or project management tools to communicate in writing.

If you need help, go to training or workshops on communication.

Ask a colleague or supervisor for feedback on your communication style.

Reflect on your communication every day. Think about what you did well and what you can improve.

Changing habits takes time and patience. Don't expect a complete transformation overnight.

Practice makes perfect.

And reduce social isolation's impact on your work. I'm a fairy and don't drink. I hope my reply helps.

Good luck at work!

What a great question!

Hi, I'm Kelly Shui!

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this: what if being an outsider in the workplace affects your work?

After reading the questioner's question, you have a clear understanding of yourself and know that being an outsider has affected your work, which also shows your amazing ability to perceive.

[About the workplace]

The workplace is a community where we all work independently but also interact with and influence one another.

We can take the time to explore ourselves first, and we communicate less actively with our colleagues, which unfortunately leads to marginalization in team discussions and cooperation.

I'd love to know when you found yourself on the sidelines.

I'd love to know if you've experienced this in other groups, like school or other relationships?

I'd love to hear how you handled such situations in the past!

If we're in a group and we can't keep up with the team's work progress and needs, our work might end up feeling disconnected from the team's overall goals.

Oh, dear. What will happen if these problems are not resolved?

If you had to choose one person in the team to get close to and communicate with, who would it be?

Why not try building a relationship with a colleague you already have a good relationship with?

And we can also reflect on it. If you marginalize yourself "on your own initiative," for example, if you don't like communicating with your colleagues, then let's try to smile and greet everyone when we come into the office every day.

For example, you can try to help others proactively, and you may be able to get help from others in the future.

You can also go directly to the person in charge and be open with them. Let them know that you might not be the best at communicating, but that you're ready to work with everyone on the team to get things done.

Let's switch gears for a second. If you were in charge, what kind of colleague would you want on your team?

Oh, I see. Someone who is very capable but doesn't like to communicate?

Or maybe someone who is just average in ability, but emotionally stable and willing to cooperate?

It's so important to think about what the outcome will be. If marginalization isn't affecting you, then that's great!

If it's affecting your work, it might be worth trying to solve the problem as a new learning topic.

[Exploring oneself]

It's so important to have a good support system at work and with friends. When we have that, we can communicate when we encounter problems.

Hey there! I just wanted to check in and see if you're someone who chooses to act on the opinions of others, or if you follow your own path?

It's totally normal to find it tough to change some of our habits overnight. The most important thing is to find a method that suits you.

I had a friend who wasn't the best at communicating. But through learning and taking the lecturer exam, he opened himself up to others, and after a while, he realized that he was capable of building great relationships with people!

Have you ever heard psychologists say that one of the best ways to understand ourselves is to discover where our aversion to relationships comes from?

These patterns can even make their way into the workplace! But don't fret! Through personal growth and learning, including finding a job that suits you, you can change yourself in the future.

We all have our own special personalities, and they change and grow as we do. Do you think your twenty-year-old self is the same as you are now?

We can tell ourselves, "This is the way it is," or we can tell ourselves that we can change through learning. Either way, you've got this!

You can definitely seek professional advice during the process of change. And you can also have regular weekly consultations to keep your partner informed of your progress.

It can be tough to make a change in the short term, but if you're determined, you can do it!

I truly believe that I can change myself.

I truly believe that the first step to making a change is taking action. Your willingness to share your confusion here is so admirable and is the beginning of a beautiful journey.

There's always more than one way to do something!

The world and I love you so much!

I'd highly recommend reading the following books: "The Plastic Me", "Fearless Anxiety", "Personal Formation Theory" and "Human Self-seeking".

Hello, I'm happy to answer your question, and I hope that what I share will be helpful to you.

[Don't put limits on yourself and open yourself up to all the possibilities out there.]

From what the questioner has said, it seems like they've already figured out what the problem is.

The most important thing is to stop making excuses and start pushing yourself to move towards your goal and take action.

For instance, if you know that "the whole team needs to work closely together and communicate with colleagues in a timely manner," then act on it.

"That's just the way I am" is a limiting belief that's an excuse and the biggest obstacle.

Remove obstacles, adopt an open attitude, take action, make mistakes, provide feedback, reflect on the situation, and then try again and make more mistakes. Repeat this process, and you'll feel better and better, and more satisfied with each attempt.

"Being an outsider" is a sign that you need to recognize your needs.

Any behavior has its own purpose. If we're aware of it, we can turn it into a positive force. Otherwise, we'll keep repeating the same mistakes and find it difficult to make a breakthrough.

What are you really looking for by being an outsider?

For example, there's the desire to be seen, the desire for fairness, the desire to be respected, the desire to be loved, the desire for efficiency, and the desire for companionship.

When we understand that this is what our actions are for, maybe we can accept that we don't always fit in more.

And if you can see your inner self, you'll feel better too. Understanding yourself is loving yourself.

So, next, we can choose to replace "non-conformity" with constructive behavior to meet our needs, right?

For instance, by communicating effectively and promptly, we can make sure that our needs for "being seen" and "being respected" (or any other needs) are met.

[Focus on what you can control, practice deliberately, and use your strengths to meet challenges.]

When we're too afraid to act or make excuses, we can start to see what we're really afraid of.

Fear of not being recognized, fear of being ridiculed, fear of being criticized, fear of wasting time, fear of meaninglessness...

We can control our own thoughts, choices, and actions, but we can't control what others think, do, or say.

Use your strengths to solve problems. If you're not great at communication, you might be good at planning and taking action (based on the actual strengths of the questioner). Just let your colleagues know in advance: "Sometimes when I work, I get too focused on my own pace. If I neglect the team, please remind me. I will adjust myself and cooperate with the team in time. Thank you very much." After all, this affects the team's progress. I believe everyone will be willing to help the questioner. Then just believe in yourself, and it will become easier and easier to work with others.

You'll gradually become more comfortable dealing with challenges and more in control of the results of your work.

"Work is a kind of practice."

If we look at things with a growth mindset and focus on the process of our own efforts, mistakes are a great chance to learn and grow.

We can also grow our ability to handle setbacks, our own initiative, our optimistic and good-natured attitude, and our ability to cooperate with others.

If we focus on the process and the results, we might be closer to the target and the ideal state, right?

That's all I wanted to share. Best wishes! The world and I love you!

Effective communication is a crucial aspect of professional life. The following recommendations aim to enhance communication skills and mitigate the impact of being an outsider on one's work.

1. Enhance communication awareness: Appreciate the significance of communication in the workplace, endeavor to surmount your own psychological impediments, and assume the initiative to communicate with your colleagues.

2. Make optimal use of meetings: During team meetings, proactively express your opinions and views, demonstrate your professional abilities, and facilitate your colleagues' enhanced understanding of you.

3. Develop a Communication Plan: A communication plan can be developed that stipulates communicating with a certain number of colleagues every day or every week, with the frequency of communication gradually increasing.

4. Identify shared interests and experiences: Gain insight into your colleagues' interests and hobbies to facilitate communication.

5. Utilize technological tools to facilitate communication and maintain awareness of work progress. These may include email, instant messaging applications, and other digital platforms.

6. Seek Help Proactively: When confronted with a challenge, it is advisable to solicit the input of a colleague. This approach not only facilitates problem-solving but also fosters positive interpersonal relationships.

7. Participate in Team Activities: It is recommended that you actively participate in team activities such as dinners and team-building exercises in order to enhance rapport and cohesion with colleagues.

8. Enhance Communication Skills: One may improve their communication skills by reading books and attending training courses, thereby facilitating more effective communication.

9. Solicit feedback: Periodically request feedback from colleagues or superiors regarding your communication performance to identify areas for improvement.

It is of the utmost importance to maintain a positive attitude and to believe that communication can be improved gradually and that integration into the team can be achieved.

Your initiative in exchanging information is crucial for ensuring timely completion of the work. You recognize the need for communication, so what's preventing you?

You need a platform to regularly view the information uploaded by others.

You need time to psychologically prepare yourself before communicating with others.

There may be other reasons, but we'll find out what they are.

From an information standpoint, there may be only a few steps and movements, but from a psychological perspective, I am not yet fully aware of your feelings.

I am going to list some of the aspects I might think of in a similar situation.

First, you are emotionally passive.

Secondly, you are not used to actively confiding in people.

Third, they lack the ability to respond to others appropriately.

Fourth, they don't empathize with other people's responses.

The common goals of the team are not clear.

Sixth, there is a clear lack of clarity in the division of responsibilities, and it is evident that there is no consensus on what information needs to be shared.

7. Fear of being attacked

Eighth, team members have radical or passive attitudes, which negatively impact team morale.

Ninth, it is clear that cliques exist. If you do not join a clique, you will be attacked. There is a lack of security in teamwork.

Tenth, the information is not clear, and we must determine which information needs to be reported and shared.

Eleventh, there is a lack of a sense of control, and there is no clear understanding of whether the importance of the information is at a level that requires sharing.

Your judgment that you don't fit in is likely not the sole reason for your distress and disruption. There are likely multiple contributing factors. My advice is based on your actual situation. Focus on improving what you can in your environment and take it one step at a time.

Hello, I'm happy to answer your questions. I hope my suggestions will be helpful.

We have two options.

One way to improve is to learn communication skills and do the work handover. It's not necessary to be an excellent communicator, just communicate daily and understand who is responsible for what.

The second part is improving work processes.

If we don't communicate with the team, they'll ignore us.

We can form a work group and post tasks in the group. Even if we don't communicate, we can see there is work to be done after seeing the group tasks.

If the team needs to assign tasks, a meeting can be held. All personnel involved in the project will be notified to attend. During the meeting, we will listen carefully to our part of the work and make sure we can do it.

Our personality doesn't determine whether we can do our work. Some people are outgoing, while others are introverted. This doesn't mean introverts can't work. They can just do it in a way that suits them.

Understand which part of the work you are responsible for and how to do a good job handing it over. You can also let others know how each of us should complete these tasks through text, document transmission, or even meetings.

This also means sharing information with the team. We must pay attention to the group's and team's information. When we finish our part of the work, we must tell our colleagues.

If we need help with our work or personal lives, we can get professional psychological counseling.

I hope you can find the right approach and position with the help of professionals and self-reflection.

The world loves you!

Hello, my name is Luo Hongmei, I'm a listening expert.

You say that not communicating with your colleagues affects the quality of your work. But you don't communicate with others much in general. It didn't seem to have any impact on you in the past, but now it's affecting your work and causing you a lot of trouble.

You want to change and integrate yourself into your colleagues so that work can go more smoothly.

It seems like you're choosing to keep your distance from your colleagues, rather than being deliberately marginalized or targeted. This could be your way of protecting yourself. The good news is that you have the power to initiate communication. If you can take the initiative, you might find that the marginalization you're experiencing disappears.

We often hear the saying, "Don't treat your colleagues as friends; it's unnecessary and dangerous." So in the workplace, we deliberately keep our distance from our colleagues, and the way to keep our distance is to communicate and interact with them less.

But we forget that some communication at work is necessary. If we don't communicate at work, we'll eventually be let go.

I used to be just like you. I rarely took the initiative to communicate with my colleagues, thinking that doing my best at work was enough. Later, I realized that I wasn't a good fit for the job. I thought I had done a lot and was very responsible, but what I did wasn't what others needed. Gradually, I became dispensable at work, and even if I had good ideas, it was difficult to implement them.

If I still don't want to treat my colleagues as friends, I'll accept that and maintain an appropriate distance. At work, I'll communicate with my colleagues to confirm the content and progress of work and strive for better results.

We don't communicate much in our personal lives, but that doesn't affect how well we work together.

I think it's a good idea to keep your work and personal lives separate. At work, ask questions and communicate, and outside of work, enjoy your own space. That way, you won't be delayed at work or affect your personal life.

I hope this helps.

I'm Luo Hongmei, a psychological counselor. Please feel free to talk to me and exchange ideas.