What if I feel that my father often makes me feel cold and that he is a "scum"?

Hello, questioner.

From what you've shared, it seems that sometimes you think about it and feel a bit humiliated by your father. Would it be accurate to say that you really hope that your father can give you care and love instead of accusations?

Perhaps you would feel more at home living with your father? You say that your father provides for you financially, but that his other contributions to your daily life are limited to "a quick 'good morning', 'don't forget to eat', 'wear a mask', and 'wash your hands'". You feel that he could do more. What would you like him to do?

I wonder if you might be willing to share some thoughts on how he could make you feel more satisfied.

You say you never expect anything from him, but you also mention not getting birthday presents and not understanding the preferences of young people. It seems there may be some expectations of your father. Would it be helpful to talk to your father about what you want and need?

Do you think there's a chance your father might understand your needs and fulfill them?

When you broke your leg, he asked your aunt to stay with you, which you felt was a problem because he didn't stay with you. You had the impression that he didn't want to stay with you, but in my opinion, this is actually more suitable for you.

Perhaps your aunt would be a better choice in this instance, for example, if your father is unable to help you go to the toilet.

When he encounters setbacks, he tends to feel that he is destined for great responsibilities, while you feel that he is incapable of doing anything. He believes that it is for your own good. You dislike living in someone else's home and are not particularly fond of people who care about you when it is not your business. Your father thinks that you are emotional.

It seems that there might be a lack of understanding between you and your father regarding your innermost feelings. Have you had the opportunity to communicate with him about this?

If I might make a suggestion in your case, I would like to propose that

Once you have a better understanding of your father

It's understandable if you feel your father is "scum" for not giving you what you want. However, it's important to recognize that fathers and mothers have different approaches to parenting. Mothers may be more emotional, while fathers tend to be more rational.

For instance, your father may encourage you to maintain a sense of emotional control, to accept setbacks with resilience, and to engage in constructive dialogue rather than relying on emotional comfort. This approach could be perceived as a reflection of a man's way of facing challenges.

I once asked my father for advice on how to handle setbacks. He suggested that I persevere.

I inquired as to what I should do if I reached my limit. My father advised me to persevere.

I expressed my exhaustion and inability to persevere. My father offered words of encouragement, suggesting that if I could acknowledge my limitations, it meant I still had the strength to keep going.

I inquired as to how one should respond when encountering setbacks and experiencing a lack of perseverance. My father's guidance was to persevere.

It might be helpful to remember that fathers don't understand your pain emotionally. They just tell you to persevere and face the difficulties.

This is a different way of thinking than what is typically associated with men and women. Men tend to be more rational, and they often don't offer the same level of emotional comfort as women do. It's important to understand your father's perspective.

Secondly, it might be helpful to communicate more with your father.

It's natural to have needs from your father. It's understandable that you expect what you want, but it's also important to recognize that your father may not always understand.

It might be helpful to communicate with your father in a more direct way, as this could help you to understand his thoughts and actions better.

It's not uncommon for men to have a limited understanding of their children's inner thoughts and a tendency to focus more on external situations. There's a saying that men are responsible for the outside world and women for the home, which seems to suggest that men and women have different strengths and roles.

If you would like your father to be more like your mother, it might be helpful to communicate with him more.

Perhaps it would be helpful to focus more on what your father has given you, rather than on what he hasn't.

It's worth noting that your father has already done a great deal for you, given you many things within his abilities. You mentioned that he advised you to drink more water and pay attention to hygiene. It's understandable that many fathers are unable to give such reminders.

It's also worth noting that he can lose his temper and may sometimes feel powerless. It's understandable to expect more from him than he can give, given that he's only human. It might be helpful to focus more on what he does for you and to remember that he genuinely wants to do right by you, even if he doesn't always understand your thoughts and needs.

I hope this is helpful. Best regards,

My dad said the same thing to me. My mom joked that he couldn't pick me up after school because he wouldn't know what I was wearing.

My husband and I argue and reason with each other. If he thinks he's right, I tell him my reasons.

He said our kids are too emotional. He also said that to me. He'd say, "You cry every time I say something to you." I'd say, "How can you control your emotions? Would I cry if you died tomorrow? I'm a psychology student. I'm awesome. I can control my emotions. I'm not emotional."

My father never brought up emotional issues with me again. In our family, we discuss these kinds of things openly.

What else do you need to discuss? Be kind, accept suffering, and don't hit someone who is smiling at you. I've discussed these theories with him, and the results have been good.

We need to learn the social lessons we should learn now. We don't need to apply theories from decades ago to the present. The only one who will suffer is ourselves. My father will never understand because his social circle is his own. He will never know what young people encounter. Then he will educate us with a look of having decades of social experience.

Men don't pay attention to life. My father can't remember his own birthday, let alone mine. I don't expect New Year's money. But fewer straight men are like that now. Try communicating with your father to ease things up.

My father and I are the only ones at home. If we fight, we can make up in a few days. There's no one else to talk to.

Your father might have had other reasons for not being able to take care of you. After all, he is your father and you are his daughter. If you have doubts, you can ask after your relationship has eased up a bit. But it's probably best not to dwell on the past.

Men and women think differently. He may not know what you need. Add to that the generation gap, and he really won't know what children like. It's better to try. Just say what you want, and see if he buys it. If he says something like, "That's not useful," or "Eating junk food is unhealthy," you can say, "All the young girls have it now, and they eat it, but not every day, just once in a while. Buy it and we'll eat it together. You can try it, maybe you'll like it too."

Hello, questioner!

From your description, it's clear that your father has a lot on his mind. It's understandable that you feel a bit cold because of his accusations. It's also understandable that you feel like your father can't give you the daily care and love you need. I can see how you feel, and I'm here to help.

I can also see that you are very angry and dissatisfied with your father's behavior, but I think there's more to it than that. I think he's under a lot of pressure inside, just like you are. Life is not as simple as you think, and he may not be able to love his children as a qualified father, but that's okay! It's normal for you to feel sad and upset.

Now, let's dive into some solutions!

[1] It's time to start expressing your feelings and needs!

For example, when we are hurt and need our father's care, we can bravely express our feelings and needs, for example, "Dad, I hope you can care for me a little." Without your support and care, I feel very sad and upset. This direct expression of a need for care will also have a certain impact on our father.

[2] Communicate actively with your father and establish a new mode of communication!

It's a great idea to talk to your father often to find out what he thinks and feels and what his needs are. At the same time, you can also tell your father what you think, for example that you need care and that you can do things to make him feel loved. Then express your need for care, and your father will also give some feedback.

[3] Learn to care for yourself and others—it's a win-win!

Self-care is an amazing process we get to experience at some stage in our lives. And caring for others is a wonderful way to understand what love is. Love is also an incredible ability. Learning to care for others is a great way to develop the ability to love!

[4] Learn to be independent and take responsibility for yourself — it's the best thing you can do!

Life is an amazing journey of continuous growth and learning! It's also a process of occasional setbacks, but that's all part of the adventure. Perhaps your father wants you to be independent and strong, and he's showing you how through his actions. It's up to us to understand that we are the only ones who can be responsible for ourselves, and learning to be responsible for ourselves is the most important thing!

And finally, you get to learn to care for yourself, express your feelings and needs with bravery, cultivate the ability to love, take responsibility for yourself, be strong, and learn to be independent!

I really hope these opinions are helpful to you!

Hello!

From your description, I can tell you're angry.

What happened that made you come here to find a way to deal with your problems?

You have a good sense of awareness and courage. I applaud you.

You feel disappointed in your father. You feel he doesn't give you what you need. Is that right?

He never gave you presents or stayed with you when you were sick.

When you're frustrated, he says God has a great mission for you, but you feel he's incapable. When you share your feelings, he says you're too emotional.

These make you feel uncomfortable, right?

Your father loves you, but he's not good at expressing it.

I know you wanted his company and care, but after a long time without talking, a barrier formed.

If you felt better, how would your dad be? What would you do to feel better?

Would you be any different? Who would notice?

I don't know your situation, but I'd like to give you some advice.

First, adjust your mindset and face your emotions.

Everyone has different emotions. Are you feeling discovery or a breakthrough?

We all want to be loved and noticed by our fathers.

We can only ask for what we want when we face our emotions.

Learn good communication skills.

You're lucky. Your dad doesn't give you as much attention as you want, but he encourages you when you need it. Learn good communication skills. When you need something from your dad, just

Speak to your father directly. Don't beat around the bush. Even if he says no, you've expressed your needs. He'll adjust the time according to his schedule and ability. Do you agree?

Master your emotions.

You came here to celebrate but felt uncomfortable and negative. Your emotions dominated you. When we are led by our emotions, we feel nothing and remain stuck in negative emotions. You are being too emotional.

Take control of your emotions and don't let them lead you astray.

Sometimes, you can express your feelings by being sweet to your father. The most important thing is to think differently. There's no such thing as an easy adult world. Maybe your father just wants to spend time with you. Of course, I don't know your situation, so please forgive me if anything is uncomfortable.

The most important thing is to love and accept yourself. Only then can you love and accept others. What do you think?