What if my grandmother spoiled me when I was a child and I have some personality problems?

It's a good thing to have a loved one at home, even an elderly relative who dotes on you. Our social atmosphere and heritage are biased towards obligations and responsibilities, while love and its expression are lacking.

From what you've said, you seem like an ordinary girl who has been bullied before. It seems like the feeling of insecurity comes from the external environment, not from within.

When you leave that kind of environment, you may not be afraid, not because you haven't experienced enough love, but because you are afraid of any environment. This is also the basis of your self-awareness and strength, and your ability to clearly see your own strengths and weaknesses.

It's not unusual for people to be too afraid to fight back or to just endure bullying at school because of their age or personality. You're just a little girl, and even if a boy is involved, it's usually the case.

Luckily, you agree with your father that we always have to look ahead. We can't change what's already happened, but there's always hope for the future. The most important thing is to make the most of today.

There's nothing wrong with crying. It's not necessarily a sign of weakness. It can just be a way to calm down and express sadness. But then, you can ask yourself if you really needed to cry.

Are there other ways to handle it? You might find that there are many ways to deal with it other than crying.

It's the same with people you don't like: there'll always be a point where you can't hide your disgust, and there'll also be a willingness to be tolerant or a tactfulness to keep your distance. With others, it's just a specific case or incident that produces such a feeling of judgment, and there may be reasons and positions you don't understand, so you need to reserve such a possibility, be willing to be more tolerant, and not make subjective and arbitrary judgments. Even if you think there's a high probability of judgment, others are just other people, and in fact, it is also possible to handle relationships with each other tactfully or smoothly.

It's all about perspective. Disguise or maturity, they're just different descriptions. The important thing is that there will be many problems and even difficult problems in life, but they are all stages. There are more ways and methods, as long as you are willing to think carefully and carefully.

I wish you all the best.

To provide solace and support in navigating your challenges, complex emotions, and interactions with others.

I would like to begin by saying that you are a very strong, brave, and kind young woman. You were fortunate to be raised by your grandmother from a young age and have consistently demonstrated excellent academic performance. Despite facing challenges and bullying during your adolescence in junior high school, you remained resilient and did not confide in your family until you reached your limit.

I would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge the strength and bravery you have demonstrated along the way.

Secondly, I would like to reiterate that it is not your fault for many things. For instance, being bullied by classmates, feeling overwhelmed during physical exercises, being doted on by your grandmother, having difficulty connecting with people you dislike, and so on.

I want to reassure you that you are not at fault, and that you did not cause many things and the current situation alone. I believe you have done a good job, so I would advise you not to put more pressure on yourself.

Third, in the face of the complicated situation in high school and later in college and even in your romantic life, it would be beneficial for you to continue to be a strong, kind, and brave child, and to avoid giving your past too much remorse and burden. You have already done a very good job.

I encourage you to continue doing well in your studies, exploring your interests, and identifying your values. I believe that with these steps, you will find your subsequent life path becoming increasingly diverse and fulfilling.

I encourage you to keep going.

I hope we can continue to communicate. Public account: A Young Person with a Pretentious Air (ID: qingnianJIA2020)

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From your narrative, it can be seen that you suffered a great deal during your childhood. There was an excess of indulgence from your family, some interference and control from the outside world, and coercive violence. Excessive indulgence can make a person unable to see the true face of society as a whole. They may believe, naively, that other people will be unconditionally kind to them or completely mean to them.

It is important to note that there are individuals in our lives who exhibit positive and negative behaviors. Some may be bystanders, neither helpful nor harmful, while others may engage in harmful actions such as cyberbullying or physical bullying. When we are isolated and helpless, or subjected to such forms of bullying, it can be challenging to receive assistance.

This is also a period during which an individual's capacity to cope and regulate emotions is tested. If past experiences have resulted in a form of psychological trauma, it may manifest as a shadow over the personality, leading to anxiety, restlessness, and heightened sensitivity. These characteristics extend to interpersonal relationships, as there is no possibility of pretending to be someone else.

Additionally, individuals who have experienced violence often exhibit personality traits that are less than optimal. This can result in an inability to recognize one's own strengths and weaknesses. Furthermore, interpersonal relationships may be viewed with skepticism, potentially leading to a reluctance to form friendships.

It may also be challenging to form friendships due to the aforementioned experiences, which led to the onset of neurasthenia during the ninth grade, a decline in academic performance, and a tendency towards regret and emotional volatility during high school. Additionally, you may engage in emotional release through crying, which is a normal coping mechanism. However, if these behaviors persist or intensify, it is crucial to seek professional assistance. If the underlying issue is a psychological deficiency, it is essential to consult with a qualified psychologist or counselor.

It is important to allow sufficient time to address any potential misunderstandings that may exist within oneself. This encompasses past traumas, instances of violence, and any aspects of one's personality that require modification.

The past is immutable. It is not possible to reverse the flow of time, nor to mete out immediate retribution to those who have committed wrongdoing.

Each individual is solely responsible for their own life. At this juncture, it is possible to decide what kind of changes one wishes to make. Should one choose to view the past with an optimistic, positive, and uplifting attitude, or should one continue to dwell on past experiences? Even experiences that have had a significant impact can be utilized as a means of personal growth and transformation. Seeking psychological counseling or engaging in in-depth dialogue with a psychological listener can be beneficial in addressing inner struggles. Additionally, reading works such as "When You Let Go of Yourself," "Lie Down for 10 Minutes Every Day," and "What Have You Been Through: Conversations on Trauma, Healing and Resilience" can be valuable in understanding oneself and navigating life's challenges.

Please clarify the question.

Hello, question asker.

You want to improve your character and get along well with others in interpersonal relationships. Now you perceive your own expectations, but in reality you can easily lose control, which can lead to unpleasant situations. This can make you feel helpless, at a loss, and anxious, not knowing what to do.

In interpersonal conflicts, it is already a good start to be aware of these issues. The next step could be to consider adjusting some ideas and concepts.

You mentioned that your grandmother spoiled you when you were young. This could have influenced your development into a more self-centered individual, making it challenging for you to submit to others and potentially leading to conflict when you encounter those you don't like. It's important to recognize that everyone is different and has their own ideas and opinions. We can't expect others to think the same way as us, and their ideas are also valuable.

In interpersonal relationships, it's important to recognize that everyone has their own independence. At home, your family members may be inclined to obey you because of family ties. In school, classmates are equal, and it's not necessarily realistic to expect that other classmates should obey you and be like you.

It might be helpful to consider accepting others and their differences. When there is a conflict, it's natural for each person to defend their own interests. This is a normal and understandable response. We all appreciate when others have positive regard for us, and it's not easy when we're constantly facing challenges from others.

It might be helpful to accept others and recognize that they are different from you. When there is a conflict, it's natural for each person to defend their own interests. This is a normal part of any relationship, and there is no right or wrong way to handle it. We all appreciate people who like us and find it challenging when others are always attacking us.

In a relationship with classmates, it is beneficial to cultivate mutual appreciation, mutual support, and mutual understanding to foster positive growth and connection. Conversely, being overbearing and expecting others to listen to you and judge them can potentially lead to challenges in the relationship.

You feel aggrieved, and you have every right to feel that way. You may have good intentions with others, but we all have our own ideas, and they are not necessarily wrong. Your ideas are not necessarily absolutely correct either.

It's natural to feel aggrieved in such a situation. It's also important to recognise that everyone has their own ideas and perspectives, and they may not always align with our own. While we may have the best intentions, it's crucial to understand that others may have valid reasons for their actions. Similarly, our thoughts and opinions are not always absolute truths.

Everyone has their own strengths. It would be beneficial to learn to appreciate others, reduce jealousy, and judge less, which could result in receiving more friendship.

It would be beneficial for you to learn to comfort yourself more often, to accept that others are just like you, no worse than you, and that everyone has their own destiny. Just because you think you're good, it doesn't necessarily mean that others will think so too. The standards of evaluation are different.

It is important to remember that others may have different opinions and that it is not always possible to control what they say or do. Everyone has their own thoughts, behaviors, considerations, and ideas, and it is essential to respect that.

It might be helpful to remember that we all coexist with others, and that there is no need to put ourselves in a hierarchy of first and second, good and bad.

It might be helpful to think more about your own goals and do your own thing. It could also be beneficial to calm your mind and try to accept others as they are, without expecting them to live up to your standards.

It is important to remember that every student is a precious child in their own family and deserves to be respected, understood, and accepted.

I wish you the best.

I wish you the best.

Hello there!

I'm a heart exploration coach, and I believe that learning is the treasure of the body.

From what you've told me, I can tell you're going through a rough patch. It's clear you're feeling unhappy, confused, like you want to cry, in pain and overwhelmed.

I don't want to get into all the nitty-gritty of your troubles caused by your personality and medication. I just want to give you three pieces of advice that I think could really help you.

First, I suggest you try to understand and accept your current state. I know it can be tough, but I'm here to help!

I know it might sound a little strange, but I promise you it will help! It will make your heart feel a little lighter, which will help you think about what to do next.

You told me that when you were a child, you were brought up by your grandmother, who loved you very much but had some personality issues. You didn't have many friends, felt insecure, and experienced school violence. In your third year of junior high school, you had a nervous breakdown. Later, due to medication, you found it difficult to get along with others comfortably. You're in pain and want to change. In fact, if someone else were in your situation, they would probably be just like you. Children who are doted on from a young age often have some personality issues. They may seem strong and tough, but they may be more fragile inside. Just like you, when you suffered from school violence, you were afraid to tell your teachers and parents, and you always cried. This may have been caused by being doted on. In addition, you have to take medicine for your nervous breakdown, and most drugs have side effects, which may also affect the way you get along with others. You also said that it is difficult to get along with people you dislike. Many people are like this because most people find it difficult to feel comfortable with people they don't like. So you have to try to understand yourself and comfort yourself. "See" the painful self inside who is very conflicted and uncomfortable, but temporarily doesn't know what to do. This will take your mind off other things, otherwise your brain will be filled with all kinds of negative emotions.

It's so important to give yourself the space to understand and accept yourself. This will help you to embrace change in your current situation. I know it might sound a little strange, but it's true! Change is all about allowing for no change.

Secondly, I'd like to suggest that you take a moment to view your own state in a rational way.

Because when you think things through, you can really get to know yourself and the world around you better.

I know it can be tough, but I'm here to help! A rational approach requires you to do two simple things:

It's so important to understand that your character can be changed, bit by bit.

I know it can be tough, but I promise you can overcome the negative impact of being spoiled as a child. With your own strong desire to change, your character will change too! And now that you're aware of the problem, you're already on your way to making a change.

The good news is that you can also gradually improve your ability to handle interpersonal relationships.

You can change, my friend. When you put your mind to it and take the initiative, your relationships with others will naturally change, too. You'll gradually get along better with yourself, and your emotions will become stable.

I really encourage you to focus on yourself and think about what you can do to feel better.

When you take a step back and look at things rationally, you might even know what to do. At this point, it's time to focus on yourself and give it your best shot.

For example, you can think about what you were thinking when you were crying. Think back. Was it a sense of grievance, worry, the effect of medication, etc.? Once you find the reason, you will likely know why you are emotionally unstable. And once you know why, you can find a solution that works for you!

Once you know why you always cry, it's time to find a way to deal with it. You've got this! You can look for external support systems, have a good chat with your trusted family and friends, and express your true thoughts. This will make you feel better, because once negative emotions start flowing, they have a healing effect. At the same time, you can also look at the good things about yourself and believe that you can become better. When you always positively suggest this to yourself, you may also become stronger inside, and your emotions will become stable. This is also slowly changing your character. If it is a drug-related cause, you can talk to your attending doctor to see if you can adjust or change your medication to improve the situation. You've got this!

It's also a great idea to look at those around you who seem to have a good handle on things emotionally. You can learn a lot from them, and you can also read some relevant books. For example, "Nonviolent Communication" may help you communicate with others and improve your interpersonal relationships. "Healing Your Inner Child" may help you better understand yourself, turn inward, slowly become stronger, and change your character.

You can also try lowering your expectations of how you get along with others. It's okay if you don't get along with everyone. We all have different personalities and that's perfectly fine! Instead of demanding that you get along with people you dislike, try being true to the people you want to get along with. You'll not only gain a good relationship, but you'll also feel better about yourself. And so on. In short, you need to know that you can do something to improve the situation.

I know it can be tough, but when you start taking action, all those negative emotions will start to melt away. Believe me, action is the best way to beat those negative feelings.

I really hope my answer helps you! If you'd like to chat some more, just click on "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom and I'll be happy to have a one-on-one conversation with you.

Dear, reading your account, I feel that you have really been through a lot. First of all, I want to give you a big hug!

You've done so well to get through all that you have, to have been forced to kiss someone against your will, and to have persevered and gone on to high school.

It's tough right now. You're on medication and feeling the urge to cry. Your family members are trying to be supportive, but they don't fully understand what you're going through. They keep telling you to look forward, but it's not that simple.

I'm sure you know in your heart that you have to look forward, but these emotions of yours have not been dealt with, and there is nowhere for your painful feelings to go.

In the face of your current situation, it's so important to give these emotions an outlet first, because every emotion needs to be seen. These emotions that are forced to be suppressed and repressed will continue to affect you if they are not seen.

Humanistic psychologists believe that everyone needs to be seen and loved and respected.

I'm so sorry you went through that coercion and forced kiss in junior high school. It was really a lack of respect. The girl who did it didn't respect your dignity, and the boy who forced the kiss didn't respect your feelings.

These are really tough experiences, especially when you didn't tell your teachers or parents about what happened and didn't get the support and help you needed.

When you're alone, it can really make your painful emotions feel amplified. It's totally normal to feel this way! Your pain, helplessness, and fear, as well as the fact that no one understands these emotions, have been suppressed and accumulated over time, ultimately causing your current predicament.

It's so great to see that you're finally starting to work through your issues! Your psychiatrist has prescribed medication, and your dad knows what's going on. He might not fully understand your feelings when he gives you advice, but he's still there for you. It's so much better than struggling alone and trying to support yourself all by yourself.

My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's totally understandable to feel the way you do. You're not alone, and you don't have to go through this alone. You can talk to someone you trust about it. It's okay to feel the way you feel. Talking about it is a way to deal with your emotions.

If you don't have anyone to talk to or if no one can understand your true emotions even if you do talk, don't worry! You can also seek professional help. On this platform, there are many professional psychological counselors and listeners who are ready to help you.

I truly believe that you are capable of anything you set your mind to. I believe that everyone is good, that everyone has the ability to think and choose independently, and that everyone has the ability to make decisions and modify them as needed.

You're not alone! You can try to seek help from outside sources. You can also seek help from outside while helping yourself at the same time.

Some methods may help you, such as listening to music and exercising. I've found that exercise can really change the way my brain feels! If you insist on exercising for half an hour every day, or if you insist on exercising every day until you feel a slight sweat, I think you'll find your mood will improve.

You can also write and draw by yourself. It's okay if you don't write well, just focus on relaxing and enjoying the process.

I really hope this helps! I truly hope you can get out of this tough situation and go back to living your normal, happy, carefree youth life.