What if there are friends in my circle of friends that I don't want them to see?

Hello, I am Xin Tan, Coach Fei Yun. In 2023, we will be happy.

I hug you with all my heart, feeling your confusion, your contradictions, and the resulting troubles and internal conflicts. Let's take a look at the problem and the solution together.

You want to share with others, but you don't like other people.

You crave companionship but dread solitude. You yearn to connect with others while simultaneously disliking the very people you're trying to befriend.

This causes internal friction, the conflict between what you think you should be (I want to make a lot of good friends, I'm afraid of being lonely) and what is actually the case (I don't like a lot of people, I'm so lonely).

Internal conflict is like an unfastened faucet. It constantly drips, draining your energy and causing you to worry. You can't live in the present.

Look within. This is the best way to stop internal conflict.

Focus on yourself and constantly improve yourself through reading and learning. Establish a sense of your own value, existence, and security. Only when you are well connected to yourself can you maintain a good connection with others and the outside world.

I highly recommend The Power of Self-Growth and The Courage to Be Disliked.

2. Overcome the feeling of loneliness.

Loneliness is a subjective feeling that you experience yourself. It is a feeling of isolation or alienation from others and society. Loneliness is a form of self-isolation. It is a severing of connections with others and the outside world. It is a form of escape.

You feel lonely because you cannot connect with yourself. You can only connect with others and give yourself a good evaluation (especially a good evaluation) if you connect with yourself.

You say there are people in your circle of friends you don't like. You can set it up so the other person can't see you or you can't see them. You haven't blocked them, which shows you still want to connect but can't.

The ability to connect is an important factor that distinguishes loneliness from being alone. If you give yourself a bad review, your interpersonal relationships will definitely be bad, and you simply won't enjoy the fun of getting along with other people.

Then you will cut the connection and sever the relationship.

Loneliness is a low sense of self-worth. It makes it impossible to get along well with oneself and give oneself a good review. Affirm yourself in everything. Don't bear the loneliness that envelops your life alone when you escape from the crowd.

You need to change the feeling of loneliness inside you.

First, you can change from being passive to being active.

Loneliness is a subjective feeling. When you feel lonely, tell yourself, "I choose to be alone, and I have the right to choose." Take back the right to choose and the initiative.

Second, give yourself more positive feedback.

When you are lonely, you cannot get along with yourself, cannot connect well with yourself, and always give yourself a bad review. There are two of you: one is the you that criticizes you, and the other is the you that is being criticized.

And last but not least, stay aware.

Seeing gives you choices and positive feedback. Cultivate mindfulness through meditation to improve your ability to connect with yourself and love.

I am confident that the above will be helpful to you. And I want you to know that the world and I love you.

If you want to continue communicating, click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hello there!

After reading your story, I can really feel that most of the causes of your "low mood and irritability" come from your "Friendship Circle."

Isn't it strange? WeChat Moments was originally designed to be a place where we can share more and be heard, but sometimes it can also be a source of suffering.

For example, the questioner is worried that there are people in their circle of friends they don't like, but in my circle of friends, I can't be the boss.

And there's more!

It's so lovely that there are leaders in the circle of friends, which means you can only post content about positive enjoyment and hard work to learn.

It's also good to be careful with words when you're chatting with former classmates and colleagues.

And last but not least, because there are elders present, they can't freely publish emotional diaries.

...

So, it's no surprise that our friends can sometimes put a bit of a strain on us. Some of us can feel a bit uneasy when our friends share things that make us feel uncomfortable, like insinuations or things that make us feel attacked. And then there are those who seem to be constantly sharing their wealth and food, which can feel a bit overwhelming for some of us. We can't help but wonder if there's a way to remove this content.

This is why WeChat has an option to "not view his Moments" or "not let the other person view my Moments," which gives users the freedom to choose. The questioner can calm down and feel what's in their heart. We can all relate to feeling like we're being restricted when we don't want to be in a separate group. It's natural to want to present our image according to our own wishes.

We all know how it goes. Someone doesn't reply to a WeChat message in time, and we think of a hundred reasons to be understanding and tolerant. But when we don't get a reply to our message, we can feel uncomfortable and even annoyed. It doesn't match our self-perception and values. And patience requires changing oneself, which can be tough.

How can you transform your emotions and regain your freedom?

Every emotion has a meaning, so it's not as simple as it seems to decide whether or not to post to your "Circle of Friends." If it causes negative emotions, it's important to look at it because emotions are there to tell us to pay attention to our inner feelings. They help us discover what makes us physically and mentally uncomfortable. It's better to unblock ourselves than to suppress our emotions.

Once you've accepted your emotions, the next step is to identify them and see what their warning signs are.

It's so easy to get caught up in worrying about how others will respond and give feedback, isn't it? But this can sometimes make us forget how to affirm ourselves. We can all be a bit sensitive sometimes, and it's natural to care about the opinions of others. But this doesn't mean we're not objective. It just shows that there are still areas of our personality that we can work on. When we have a mature mind, we're less influenced by the voices of individuals.

Finally, learn to let go of negative emotions and open yourself up to new possibilities. We can't control how others act or what they say, so it's best to give them some space. This is a great way to build emotional resilience, and it's not a sign of weakness or inferiority. Mature people don't let the opinions of others affect their self-worth, so they can live freely. Everyone has the right to share their thoughts with friends, and it's okay if they're good or bad. After sharing, everyone has their own ideas, based on their own understanding and interpretation. We can take in what's helpful and gently point out what's not, without blaming the original poster.

And remember, being a happy person is the most important thing of all!

I wish you the best of luck and keep up the great work!

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm a modest, consistent person, just like a valley.

We all have concerns when it comes to connecting with the outside world.

From what you've said and what others have said in response, it seems like you're not as detached as you seem. There's a strong desire to communicate with the world behind your solitary actions.

You care about what others think, but you also have a rich emotional language. You're worried that your expression will be misunderstood by people you don't like or lead to various problems. That's why you're not used to grouping, and even less so to blocking, because you're afraid of offending people.

No matter what we choose, we'll always face this kind of conflict and dilemma because we can't have it all. It's tough to have it all, so try to find a balance between gain and loss and face your true self.

The people who show they care about us are the ones we value.

Your circle of friends can be made up of people you like, people you don't like, people you know, and people you don't know. Not everyone in your circle of friends is necessarily a friend. So if you want to share something, go ahead and share it.

People who share your interests, understand you, and like you will naturally see it. Even your current circle of friends has a certain recommendation mechanism. Everyone's circle of friends is different, and not every piece of information in the circle of friends will be seen.

Let's get rid of the psychological burden and face our true selves. The so-called dilemma is because we want to protect something. We still value the opinions of people we don't like. But if we think about it, we don't like each other anymore, and there will be very little interaction in each other's lives in the future, so do their opinions and thoughts still matter? Why should we make things difficult for ourselves because of the thoughts of unimportant people?

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

Many people think long and hard before posting to their Moments, for fear of strange comments on their posts and of no one paying attention to them. They end up deleting and re-deleting the text and photos they have chosen, and picking and choosing, until finally they convince themselves that there is no need to post the Moments at all.

You need to find the real purpose of posting to your friends' circle.

Ask yourself, what is the purpose of posting this content to your circle of friends? Unlike other platforms, friends who are not your friends cannot see or comment on your posts. So you should want your circle of friends to see your posts in your own WeChat contacts.

Tell me, did they make you feel uncomfortable by commenting under your posts? Or did they make you feel lost because they didn't pay attention to you?

Let's be real. We only post on Moments because of what others do. Friends who know the poster well don't need to go through their Moments to get to know them. And people who don't know the poster well won't really get to know them just because of their Moments.

We post in our circle of friends for ourselves, not to please others, and even less to get attention. Our circle of friends is a way for us to record our happy memories. When we have some free time, we occasionally open our circle of friends and look at the photos and videos, which all remind us of the good times.

It is important to recognize one's own needs.

The questioner lives alone, and they're used to it. They crave a spiritual and real connection with the outside world, and a circle of friends is the way to get that connection.

The question shows that the questioner is aware of her inner needs. She is ready to move forward and find a better way to change the situation.

There are people in your WeChat contacts that you don't like, so you don't want them to see the Moments you post. Grouping is the easiest way to do this, but the questioner is reluctant to do it. Every time you group, you're reminded of what these people have done to make you dislike them, and such an operation will also affect your emotions.

Identify the real issue.

The original poster's question is not about how to post to Moments or how to set it up. It's about what methods are needed to obtain the relationships they want.

1. Be proactive. Maintaining relationships online lacks intimacy and familiarity. We also cannot immediately see the other person's expression and attitude to determine whether the other person is interested in the topic being discussed. In a relationship that you want to maintain, you must be more proactive. Take the initiative to occasionally go out to meet up and share interesting and funny information.

2. Change the focus. Posting to Moments is about pleasing yourself. It's not about trying to please others. Some people don't often check Moments, so it's normal if they don't see it. Try other posting points, like the dynamic section of this platform, which is similar to Moments. I always feel warm and can always be seen and empathized with. Such links are more physical and mental.

3. Follow your heart. If there are people in your contacts that you don't like and you don't want them to see your posts in your circle of friends, set up chat-only permissions with them. Admit that you just don't want to spend time with people whose values are so different from your own. Focus your energy on the relationships you want to maintain.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to the original poster. Best wishes.