What if there is too much resentment (towards parents)?

The situation of the original poster is actually pretty typical. It seems that most Chinese parents are like this, putting on a show. They'll give away whatever the "guests" want, but in reality, their family isn't wealthy enough to buy another one for their own child after giving it away.

This actually raises the issue of "sharing." Adults tend to think that they're just sharing snacks, breakfast, and toys.

But in reality, it's not really sharing. It's more like giving or being forced to give. Just imagine if I have two or more of the things I've shared, or if my mother gives it back to me at night after I've given it away, or if I buy it back next time I go shopping. Wouldn't we feel angry?

In addition to sharing things, there's also sharing emotions. Whether it's the kids from my aunt's family or that older sister, their arrival signals to the host that my mother is gone.

From the start, I'm like an "outsider," and I have to go along with whatever happens. We won't feel "hate" towards the "intruder" because we don't have an emotional connection with them from the beginning, and even if we do, it's "negative." So, we won't feel like we're losing an "outsider" but losing an emotional connection with "our mother." As we grow up, this feeling will deepen, making us dislike our mother and feel disgusted.

This is similar to the idea that "where there is no love, there is no hate."

It's impossible for parents to know how important they are to their kids. Before age six (or even longer, before the child has a falling-out with their mother), the child really liked their mother, but she didn't show it. Whenever another child came along, younger or older, the child would "take the mother away."

Six years old is neither young nor old. It's the age where kids can remember things, but they still don't understand their mom's actions. Unanswered questions and negative emotions from childhood continue to deepen in the future without relief.

It's possible we'll never be able to forgive our parents for these actions. Even if we become parents ourselves one day, we'll always remember to make sure our own kids don't experience the same thing. We'll get their consent before sharing anything that belongs to them, and we'll let them have first dibs on what they need.

I hope the original poster can try to understand the adults of that era. We can disagree, disapprove, and not become like them. For us, isn't it also a kind of learning from experience?

If you really can't get along with your mother and don't like her, it's not impossible to not communicate. As long as the host feels comfortable and reasonable about how to get along with their mother, it's fine.