What if you are not good at arguing and don't want to hold back when faced with interpersonal conflicts?

Hello, I'm happy to answer your question and hope my suggestions help.

We will have conflicts with others in our daily lives. We can deal with them in two ways.

One is to learn how to deal with conflicts and solve problems.

This part is about resolving conflicts. You can do this by using humor or sarcasm to deflect bad remarks. You can also out-argue the other person.

It's about learning how to communicate.

The second part is to control your emotions.

There are two parts to this: one is thinking, the other is feeling.

Sometimes, we don't understand why someone is upset with us.

I once saw a neighbor say to me, "Look at that girl. She's got toilet paper in her hand. She's gone to buy some." The tone was bad, making me feel embarrassed, angry, and sad. The neighbor was older, and I was a kid, so I didn't feel comfortable confronting her. I felt she was disrespectful.

I felt sad for a long time. Then I told my family about it. My old neighbors like to talk about this and that, and their words are unpleasant. My mother said there was nothing to get angry about. She asked if I was angry because they bought toilet paper. She said to ignore them.

I wasn't angry anymore because everyone uses toilet paper. It was pointless to make fun of me for this.

I've resolved the issue from a cognitive perspective. I don't mind this kind of incident, I'm not embarrassed, and I'll talk about it openly.

It's easy to regulate emotions. Breathe deeply or learn some techniques to calm down and avoid ignoring others.

Blow off steam with pillows and dolls, or throw a sandbag.

I hope I can find a way to regulate my emotions that suits me.

I love you, world!

Good day.

My name is Kelly Shui.

If you lack proficiency in argumentation and are reluctant to engage in conflictual situations,

After reviewing the original poster's text, it is my assessment that you are seeking to make personal changes and protect yourself.

Interpersonal relationships are an invaluable learning experience. Despite our best efforts, there is no guarantee that we will encounter reasonable individuals in our personal and professional lives.

[About relationships]

Our earliest relationships are formed in the family, and our relationships with our parents, their relationships with their family members, and the relationships between our parents all influence our development.

To illustrate, consider my father's personality:

In the context of interpersonal conflicts, he demonstrated a preference for endurance, which is an admirable personality trait. My mother, on the other hand, exhibited a more assertive and dominant demeanor.

In the early days of our family, due to special circumstances in my father's family, we were subjected to bullying and suffered a great deal of injustice.

At this time, I see that my mother is unyielding. As long as there is a valid reason, she never gives in and is reasonable and well-founded.

I have learned from my father the value of humility. In business, when we encounter individuals with admirable character, we often form close relationships based on mutual respect and humility. Such individuals can also be found in the workplace, where they can become valuable partners.

Similarly, I have also encountered individuals who have behaved unreasonably. I work in a company where a colleague has been uncooperative and has not issued me with an invoice.

The customer continued to express dissatisfaction regarding the low efficiency, so I submitted a report to the company headquarters. I conducted an analysis and explained that the other party was unable to impact the company's customers due to their own low efficiency.

Such occurrences will not be repeated. At the time, this colleague was also challenging me because I had been recognized for my abilities in various aspects of my work. It is also possible that she was jealous.

As long as there is a valid reason and a sound basis for doing so, it is possible to be unrelenting.

The optimal solution is to address the issue in a manner that is both effective and accurate.

The optimal starting point is at home, where we can objectively express our feelings, including to our parents or friends.

For instance, if a colleague requests your attendance at an external engagement, you may decline the invitation and provide a frank response.

As an example, if our parents arrange something we find disagreeable, we can also communicate our feelings and thoughts to them.

It is important to pay closer attention to our own needs, to have the courage to decline requests at home and with friends, and to develop our independence. Over time, we will be better able to support ourselves in external situations, including those with colleagues or other individuals outside our immediate circle.

Interpersonal relationships are a science. Practice and awareness can be achieved through continued practice, and you can also discuss it with a counselor, including "arguing" exercises, which are all safe.

[Pay attention to yourself]

I am uncertain as to whether the issues you are facing are always challenging to resolve, whether they pertain to all relationships or just individual ones.

It is not always feasible to accept situations passively. There are several reasons for this.

1. We have allowed ourselves to become overly tolerant and have reached our limit.

For instance, some individuals are more tolerant during their developmental period, including their academic years, and their emotions may only manifest after an extended period.

2. It presents an opportunity for change.

When we experience discomfort, we have the opportunity to reflect on our own thoughts and feelings. This can be a valuable time for self-exploration.

It would be beneficial to ask ourselves more often:

The quality of these old Shanghai women is below standard. Is it necessary for us to have conflicts with them?

If it is necessary for work, complete the current task and maintain a polite yet firm demeanor.

It is important to remember that we cannot change the character and habits of others, and that even conflict may not be the most effective solution.

It would be beneficial to observe how colleagues in similar roles handle these situations.

3. Have these groups had prior interactions with individuals exhibiting similar characteristics?

For instance, when I interact with a strong-willed woman, I am reminded of my mother. My mother was strong-willed, and although she provided protection for us during our formative years,

In life, these individuals tend to exert control and force their agendas upon others, which can evoke strong emotional responses in those around them.

We can be more mindful of potential conflicts and, if necessary, engage in a constructive debate.

What are the consequences of engaging in a conflictual discussion?

Why do we feel as though we are at a disadvantage once more? Is it because we feel powerless to protect ourselves?

Should we encounter a similar situation in the future, we may wish to seek the input of a neutral third party, such as a listening teacher, to gain a different perspective and facilitate a resolution.

It is recommended that specific problems be analyzed on a case-by-case basis in order to accumulate methods and protect oneself in life.

You are also encouraged to continue asking questions and sharing ideas.

We recommend the following books: Growing through Relationships, Fearless Anxiety, and Self-Boundaries.

It's totally normal to feel uncomfortable when we're in the middle of an argument. It doesn't matter if we win or lose, it's just the situation itself that can make us feel this way.

Should we argue?

Hey there! I'm curious, how do you argue?

We all want to be able to express our true thoughts when we're having an argument, don't we?

Oh, goodness! What if I lose an argument?

These issues can be really tough for anyone who's afraid of conflict.

It's totally normal to feel afraid of conflict. We all have different experiences in our past that can make us feel this way.

For example, if parents argue, grandparents have conflicts with parents, parents scold and criticize us, teachers and classmates are not so friendly, etc.

If you've had too many of these experiences, it's totally understandable if you're now a bit sensitive to the attitudes of others in social situations.

It's totally normal to feel like you can't resolve interpersonal conflicts or take abuse when you're in them. We've all been there! Some elderly women in Shanghai, for example, can come across as a bit harsh. It's only natural to want to argue with them.

This particular group of people can really get your blood boiling! They might be a bit domineering or unreasonable, but if you can't stand them, it could be because you've got a lot of pent-up emotions inside.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on adult women in relationships, except maybe those low-quality elderly Shanghai women.

I'd love to know more about the people you have interpersonal conflicts with.

I'd love to hear more about your relationship with the female elders in your family!

If those who cause conflict are often unreasonable and domineering people, especially fussy and nagging women, it's possible that you've been suppressed by those specific people in the past, which has caused you a lot of suffering. You want to argue, but you're afraid to. If you don't argue, you feel very oppressed.

I think we can all agree that even if the goal of an argument isn't to win over the other person, it's still important to resolve the problem, right?

If you can't solve the problem, it's important to remember that it's okay to feel angry. It's all right to let that anger out. Don't suppress it inside. You don't want to suffocate yourself, do you?

So, if you can't change the other person, how can you make yourself feel better?

When you're facing an interpersonal conflict, it's always a good idea to talk it through and see what went wrong and how you can resolve it.

If the other person is being unreasonable and pushing their case, there's no need to argue with them, my friend.

As the saying goes, when a scholar meets a soldier, it is hard to reason with them. We've all been there! When arguing, emotions can sometimes take over, so it is important to resolve them first.

I've got a great tip for you! It'll help you not get angry. First, try to understand the other person. See if you can say what they want to say before they say it. That way, they'll have nothing left to say, and it'll calm their emotions. Then, you can talk about what you think. They'll be able to consider things from your perspective.

It's totally okay if you can't express your thoughts during an argument.

Afterwards, we can take a moment to reflect on the situation. We can put ourselves in both your shoes and the other person's shoes and try to find a way to calm our hearts.

Take Shanghai, for example. It's a big city, and the people who live there can be pretty proud, especially the women. They can come across as a bit superior, but that's not always a bad thing.

If they're not up to par, it just means you're above average! Top-notch folks don't waste their time arguing with people like that, right?

If you're still feeling pretty angry, you can also talk to someone about it. For example, you came here to ask a question, just to find an outlet for your emotions. If you get everyone's understanding, you'll feel so much better, right?

I really believe that if we can undergo some psychological counseling, let go of our past emotional baggage, and learn to view and face conflicts in a reasonable manner, your worries will be greatly reduced.

It's totally normal to have conflicts and contradictions in our relationships. The good news is that if we can express our feelings in a reasonable way, we might not even need to argue to get our emotions out.

I hope you feel better now!

Hi, I'm Yan Guilai, a psychological counselor. I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Dear questioner, I empathize with your distress. I understand the feeling of wanting to express yourself but not being good at arguing, while at the same time not wanting to give in.

This situation is tricky, but I want you to know you're not alone and we can work through it together.

Conflict is just part and parcel of any relationship. It can come about from a lack of understanding, differences of opinion or competing interests.

But remember, conflict doesn't have to be the end of a relationship. It's more like an opportunity to learn how to get along with others better.

You said you tend to be impulsive when faced with conflict, but you don't want to keep putting up with it. This is something a lot of people struggle with.

I want to let you know that impulsiveness and forbearance aren't the only ways to resolve conflicts. There are some more peaceful and effective ways to deal with them.

For instance, before a conflict arises, we can take a deep breath to remind ourselves to calm down. Then, we can try to put ourselves in the other person's shoes and understand their needs and feelings.

This way, we can take a step back and look at the problem more objectively, without letting our emotions get in the way.

When conflicts arise, we can try to express our feelings and needs in "I" language. For example, you could say something like, "I feel hurt, and I hope we can discuss this calmly."

This way of expressing yourself lets the other person know where you stand without making them feel attacked.

We can also improve our ability to deal with interpersonal conflicts by enhancing our emotional intelligence. People with high emotional intelligence often have a better understanding of the emotions and needs of others, which helps them to solve problems more effectively.

You can boost your emotional intelligence by reading up on the subject and taking training courses.

I'd also like to share a personal tip. When I'm dealing with interpersonal conflicts, I try to imagine myself as an outsider, observing and analyzing the entire conflict process.

This will help me look at problems more objectively and avoid letting emotions get in the way.

Now, let's talk about how you can apply these suggestions in real life. First, you can choose a moment when you're relatively relaxed to have a simulated conflict dialogue with your family or friends.

In your conversations, you can try using the communication skills and expressions mentioned above. With repeated practice, you'll gradually master these skills and be able to use them freely in actual conflicts.

If you're struggling to control your emotions when faced with conflict, I'd recommend speaking to a professional psychologist. They can help you understand your emotions and behaviour patterns better, and provide specific advice and guidance.

Finally, I just want to say that dealing with interpersonal conflicts is a process that takes time and practice. There's no need to rush for results, and don't be too hard on yourself.

If you're open to learning and trying new methods, you'll gradually improve your ability to cope and become more at ease and confident in your relationships.

Dear friend, I believe you have the wisdom and courage to face and resolve interpersonal conflicts. As long as you do it with all your heart, you will find your own way of dealing with it and make life better.

Let's do this!

Greetings,

I am fully cognizant of the psychological state of "inability to engage in argumentation and reluctance to divulge one's thoughts" when confronted with interpersonal conflicts.

In light of the aforementioned considerations, it seems prudent to present a series of thoughts for your consideration.

There may be a number of reasons why an individual may find themselves in a state of distress following an interpersonal conflict, despite having the capacity to avoid such a state.

For example, in the context of interpersonal conflict, individuals may experience feelings of insecurity or a lack of clarity regarding the most effective means of expressing their views. This may result in a tendency to remain silent or to avoid the situation altogether.

Upon reflection, it becomes evident that one has suffered a loss of face and dignity, which naturally gives rise to feelings of remorse and anger.

Furthermore, during the course of the conflict, one's emotional state may impede one's ability to think clearly and behave rationally, thereby hindering one's capacity to address the issue at hand in a calm and composed manner.

Subsequently, when emotions have dissipated, one may find oneself in a more rational frame of mind, which can give rise to feelings of internal dissatisfaction and anger.

Alternatively, one may lack the requisite effective communication skills to resolve the conflict, thereby preventing the clear conveyance of one's thoughts to the other party, which in turn results in an unresolved situation.

Alternatively, they may be concerned about causing a commotion in front of others, leading them to opt for endurance or withdrawal. However, subsequent reflection may evoke feelings of guilt and anger due to the inability to express their genuine thoughts.

In light of the aforementioned considerations, it is recommended that individuals employ a range of constructive coping strategies to enhance their capacity to navigate potential future interpersonal conflicts.

First, it is advisable to engage in active self-reflection.

Following the occurrence of an interpersonal conflict, it is recommended that an individual engage in introspective reflection, extending beyond the confines of mere negative emotionality.

It is essential to analyze the reasons behind one's initial decision to avoid or tolerate the situation and to identify potential areas for improvement in one's response.

For example, it is advisable to be mindful of the significance of establishing transparent objectives and expectations prior to engaging in communication with others.

It is essential to be clear about the desired outcome of the interaction and the message that is intended to be conveyed to the other party.

Such introspection can facilitate a more nuanced comprehension of one's thoughts and emotions, thereby enhancing one's capacity to anticipate and navigate similar scenarios in the future.

Secondly, it is advised that one should attempt to regulate their emotions in an active manner.

It is recommended that one attempt to remain calm and rational when conflicts arise, as this will facilitate more effective coping and the avoidance of subsequent regret and anger.

For example, it would be beneficial to learn how to identify and accept one's emotions, as well as to understand the circumstances under which negative emotions such as anger, frustration, and depression are experienced.

It is again recommended that individuals engage in targeted training to enhance their self-management abilities.

For instance, it is advisable to initially endeavor to comprehend the other party's perspective. This may entail posing further inquiries to ascertain a comprehensive grasp of their viewpoint. Additionally, it is crucial to meticulously organize one's thoughts in order to formulate a well-reasoned and coherent response.

Subsequently, it is advisable to express one's thoughts and feelings in a clear and unambiguous manner, avoiding any vagueness or ambiguity.

Furthermore, one may learn techniques for regulating emotions, such as deep breathing, meditation, and exercise, which can facilitate the release and calming of emotions.

Moreover, participation in communication training or the pursuit of relevant psychology courses can facilitate the enhancement of one's communication abilities and expression skills. This, in turn, can equip individuals with the capacity to articulate their perspectives in a more composed manner in the event of future conflicts, thereby reducing the likelihood of subsequent regret.

It is also recommended that the individual in question seek out further social support.

Similarly, one may seek the support and assistance of friends, family, or individuals who have experienced similar circumstances. Expressing one's feelings and thoughts to these individuals may provide emotional support and effective advice.

Seeking additional feedback and support from others facilitates a more nuanced understanding of one's own performance and impact from the perspectives of others. The insights gained from others' opinions can enhance one's self-awareness, identify blind spots, and inform future improvements.

Nevertheless, should one persist in their inability to cope with this kind of interpersonal conflict, it is still advised that they seek the assistance of a counselor, who will be able to provide more professional and detailed advice and support.

It is my sincere hope that this will prove to be of some assistance.

Hello, I'm Xintan Coach Feiyun! Life is an amazing journey, and it's not just about appreciation, it's about blossoming!

I can feel your frustration and anger, and I'm here to help! If you argue, you can't win; if you hold back, you can't bear it. Those emotions that have nowhere to go can only be pent up there. But there is a way out!

I've got a great trick for you! I've been rejected by customers many times, so I tell myself, "He's wet the bed again." Once I have this thought, I stop getting angry and even laugh out loud because only children wet the bed. The customer didn't buy my product because he didn't realize the benefits of the product. It's like an ignorant child wetting the bed, and the rejection is not my fault. I detach myself from the emotions and move on to the next customer!

Sometimes I mentally stomp on him a few times to get some satisfaction. It's great to have a bit of the spirit of Ah Q! It avoids direct confrontation while relieving your own negative emotions.

As you can see from the text, you are in conflict with a fixed group of people.

This is where the magic begins! It's time to take a moment to reflect on yourself.

1. Let's find out where this conflict is coming from!

If it is your responsibility, then take the initiative to assume it and admit your mistake to prevent a similar incident from happening again. The wise have warned us, "Don't fall in the same pit twice." And you can do it!

If it is the other person's responsibility, avoid them. Since they have committed the same mistake twice and never repented, it shows that they simply do not have any remorse. To argue with such a person is just as pointless as the "three-season person" in the Analects. A person who has only lived through "three seasons" simply does not know that there are "four seasons" in a year. You can argue with such a person forever and it will be to no avail.

If you can't provoke them, just avoid them! Some people are not worthy of our explanations, so let's not waste our time!

2. Embrace your emotions as a gateway to fulfilling your needs!

Feelings of being wronged and anger are totally normal! They're just emotional experiences that arise when you have conflicts and arguments with other people. And the best thing you can do is embrace them! Emotions are like messengers, delivering very important messages to you in this way.

Once you receive the message, the emotions will simply disappear! Behind every emotion is an unmet emotional need, such as the desire to be understood, to be accepted, or to be accepted.

The fact that you had a fight means that you both have different opinions and that you interpret this difference as a lack of acceptance and recognition of yourself, which is followed by a strong sense of frustration. But this is an opportunity for growth!

It's so interesting how everyone looks at things from a different perspective and naturally sees different results! Just as the saying goes, "A mountain looks different from different sides," different perspectives are only personal views, not facts. And they are not directed at you as a person.

3. Every experience is an opportunity for growth and learning!

Life is the best practice! The people and events we experience help us mature and grow.

For example, these "low-quality old Shanghai women" you refer to can give you a whole new perspective! This is what I think, what do other people think, and how do other people view this matter?

For example, all the conflicts and emotional experiences you have experienced will be experienced again in the future, helping you to maintain a sense of awareness: why do I repeatedly experience such emotional experiences over and over again with the same thing? What precious gift of life is hidden here?

The Five Chapters of Life are also the five states of life. I highly recommend reading it aloud a few times every day. You'll be amazed at how your perspective shifts!

I really hope the above is helpful to you, and I love you and the world!

If you want to keep in touch, you should definitely check out my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service"!

Could we perhaps engage in a discussion?

When there is a conflict with others and an argument ensues, it often indicates a mutual antipathy and ill will, which can lead to words and actions becoming more aggressive and invasive. It can be challenging for both sides to remain calm and objective, and it is not uncommon for the argument to become focused on the person rather than the issue. What is often seen is that the argument starts with an attempt to reason, but it can end with verbal abuse and even obscene insults and attacks. At this point, apart from those who are not afraid to get involved, many people may feel burdened and fearful.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that while some people may find it challenging to engage in arguments, there are many others who are adept at navigating these situations. It's possible that the scenario you've described may not be as extreme as the one mentioned above, but rather a more common challenge that arises in our daily lives. It's important to remember that these disagreements are not about personal matters, but rather about finding common ground based on the values of public order and good customs. By focusing on these shared values, we can strive to find solutions that are mutually beneficial and respectful.

If someone begins by hurling insults, it may be best to avoid engaging in an argument. One might consider whether it would be more productive to avoid the situation or to find a way to defend oneself. It can be helpful to view such encounters as if one were encountering a rabid dog. In such a case, an argument may not be the most productive or constructive approach.

The nature of everyday quarrels is complex and multifaceted.

It is therefore evident that this kind of hierarchical quarrel is, in fact, a competition to reason and take the moral high ground. It is crucial to understand that the other party generally has similar values to oneself and recognizes that they share a common sense of reason. Otherwise, one may resort to acting in a way that is less constructive and more unrestrained than the other party, which could include using sarcastic and abusive language. This ultimately leads to a contest of who is more flawed and has no quality.

It appears that feelings of being "at a disadvantage" may arise from a sense of inability to effectively refute the other party in everyday arguments, to maintain a firm stance or psychological advantage, and thus to be more assertive in order to suppress the other party.

Ultimately, it is hoped that reason will prevail.

It could be said that the quarrel between the two sides is nothing more than the difference and opposition between their conclusions. It may be the case that behind each conclusion there is either a difference in perception of the facts or a difference in the value of the opinions, and that this may result in a conflict between their judgments and conclusions.

It would be helpful to start by making sure that both sides have the same understanding of the facts. Otherwise, they may end up focusing on different aspects of the situation, which could lead to misunderstandings. Once we have a common understanding of the facts, we can then move on to discussing opinions and ideas. This will help us to understand each other's reasoning and opinions better, and it will also help us to communicate more effectively. As we mentioned earlier, if both sides share similar values and moral standards in the same social environment, they may actually have similar judgments.

It is therefore important to determine the nature of the matter and to engage in constructive dialogue. It is essential to have a valid reason for arguing and to ensure that your actions are justified. This also requires careful reflection on whether you have sufficient grounds to argue. If you find that your words and actions may not be so defensible, it may not be the most constructive approach to force an argument to vent your anger. Once you face the other person's questioning and attacks, you may well be at a loss for words.

It is important to note that this discussion is based on the premise of rational calm. However, it is not always easy to be objective and fair, not only to the other party, but also to ourselves. Additionally, if the outcome of an argument ultimately depends on the perception of right and wrong, it is also influenced by the way the matter is expressed. It seems that the person who seems to be in the right may be swayed by the other party's reasoning, which may be perceived as distorted.

For example, if you are talking about reason, he may be talking about attitude; if you talk about attitude, he may be talking about morality; if you talk about morality, he may be talking about the law; if you talk about the law, he may be talking about feelings.

It is often helpful to avoid single-eventization, as it can lead to exhausting and inconclusive arguments.

It could be said that it is more intense and emotional communication than arguing. The process seems to involve many aspects, but in the final analysis, it depends on who is guiding the rhythm and manner of communication, and whether you are willing to vent or try to determine the rights and wrongs. Often, arguing is about both sides insisting on their own positions, which evolves into simple quarrelling and attacks on people. If the dispute can be eased and calmed down at the first sign, there is obviously a greater chance of being a little more calm. After all, whether you end up winning or losing, arguing is always mentally exhausting.

I hope you find happiness.

Hello, host. I'm honored to answer your question. Interpersonal conflicts are always difficult to resolve.

If you can't take it, you'll be at a disadvantage. You come home and sulk. What should you do?

You often have conflicts with people you know. These arguments are usually over trivial matters. There is no fundamental conflict of interest.

The fights are about releasing negative emotions. The result is that you haven't released your emotions, but you've received more from the other person, so you feel suffocated.

If I get bitten by a dog, I'll hit it with a stick or a brick. I won't bite back.

It's hard to tell who's human and who's not. You may have understood that quarreling is a give-and-take.

Both parties take part. If you don't, the other person will curse in the street.

Are arguments about winning or right and wrong? They don't serve much purpose.

You can avoid it or at least minimize it. I am happy to have met you. 1983. Love, the world and I!

What should I do if I can never resolve interpersonal conflicts and I can never avoid abuse? Some older women in Shanghai have a low tolerance for conflict and often end up in arguments. They often lose the argument and come home in a bad mood.

What's the best way to handle interpersonal conflicts that are difficult to resolve?

First, we need to understand why people conflict with each other.

As long as you work with other people, you'll face conflict because expectations aren't always met.

When a conflict comes up, you need to figure out if it's a matter of fact or an interpersonal conflict.

If it's a matter of fact, you can't communicate aggressively. Otherwise, you'll anger the other person and only make them show their worst side. You can deal with it in a way that isn't personal.

If it's a human level issue, you need to be extra careful when dealing with it. It's not just about the matter at hand, but also about the person involved.

The first thing you need to do after a conflict is take a deep breath and calm down so you can think clearly and perform at your best.

Once you've had a chance to calm down, it's time to reason with your colleague.

If you get too caught up in the moment, it's easy to lose sight of the main point, which puts you at a disadvantage.

It's true that we'll all face many conflicts in our lives, and each one is also a lesson.

Some people learn from these experiences and gradually improve themselves, while others enjoy their perceived "victories" and feel like they're on top, untouchable.

Ultimately, nobody is afraid of anybody else. We're all human, but the other person is unwilling to lose face and has chosen to give in.

Good day, inquirer.

I am not adept at engaging in contentious discourse. Nevertheless, I am compelled to confront the phenomenon of low-quality forbearance. Inevitably, I emerge from these encounters with a sense of defeat and subsequently experience feelings of resentment and distress.

The following section will address the question of how to deal with this problem.

1. When dealing with an individual of low quality who is making unreasonable demands, it is advisable to first calm oneself down, leave the location of the conflict, or find a quiet place to collect one's thoughts. This approach can be advantageous in that it may allow for the desired outcome to be achieved without resorting to conflict.

Secondly, it is imperative to recognize that avoidance is not a viable option; confrontation is inevitable. In such instances, it is crucial to maintain composure and actively listen to the other party, demonstrating respect and attention. This not only reflects a high level of personal quality but also allows for a more precise identification of the underlying issue and a more effective response.

3. It is recommended that "I" language be used as much as possible during an argument, as it can accurately express one's own point of view while reducing attacks and accusations. One should draw upon one's own experiences and feelings to fully express one's needs.

It is important to ensure that the other person is able to comprehend the situation.

Fourth, it is advisable to seek compromise and negotiate a solution that is acceptable to both parties. This may entail making concessions to meet the other party's needs.

The ability to demonstrate flexibility and a willingness to compromise are essential for effectively navigating conflict.

5. Cultivate the ability to forgive and move on. As the adage suggests, "Forgiving others is forgiving yourself." Following the resolution of an argument or conflict, it is crucial to learn to forgive the other person and let go of resentment and hurt.

Furthermore, the cultivation of tolerance and forgiveness can facilitate the restoration and advancement of interpersonal connections. Additionally, this approach does not result in prolonged periods of despondency.

The aforementioned methods may assist the original poster in resolving their current issue.

I can see that the questioner is confused and depressed, but I think this question can be viewed in a different way.

First of all, you can ignore certain interpersonal conflicts. For example, when faced with someone who lacks quality, as mentioned by the original poster, my view is to stay away from them. By not getting close to the other person, you can avoid conflicts and the current troubles and depression.

Second, if a conflict is unavoidable, it doesn't have to end in an argument. You can express yourself without arguing. Here's an example from the Romance of the Three Kingdoms: Zhuge Liang scolds Wang Lang before a battle. He uses simple but profound words to make Wang Lang so angry that he falls off his horse and dies. There's also a scene in the movie The Nine-Character Official where the villain is attacked through simple words.

The point here isn't to tell the original poster to learn how to argue with other people. It's to understand why you're in conflict with the other person. Are you arguing for the sake of arguing, or is there a reason? You need to understand the purpose of your conflict with the other person. That way, you can express yourself without getting angry.

There are all kinds of people in the world, and as there are many people in society, there are naturally all kinds of people. Some are high-quality, and some are low-quality. We must accept and allow both types of people to exist. The best response to low-quality people is to use your own high-quality traits to reflect their low-quality traits. If you are the same as the other person, you are pulling yourself to the same level as the other person. No matter how much you say, it is useless and will only bring you more depression.

The above are just my personal opinions, which I hope you'll find helpful as you think about your own situation. In my experience, things in interpersonal relationships usually need to be handled flexibly according to the actual situation and on a case-by-case basis.

Dear questioner, I saw your question and I gave myself a moment to reflect and take a deep breath. I can imagine this must be a challenging situation for you.

As someone who is introverted and tends to speak less, I can relate to your experience. The next step is to find ways to address it.

First, it might be helpful to acknowledge and accept that you are not particularly skilled at arguing. You are simply someone who is not naturally inclined towards conflict. In this case, it may be beneficial to avoid situations and people who tend to be prone to conflict, and instead seek out individuals with whom you feel comfortable. This can be an effective way to protect yourself.

Secondly, if you encounter such a person at work and have to deal with them, it may be helpful to take your attention away from the scene and maintain an appropriate distance from the conflict. From this distance, you may be able to gain a clearer understanding of the situation. What might have caused the other person to become upset? What could have prevented you from speaking up to protect yourself?

Once you understand these reasons, you will find that your ability to deal with conflicts will be much stronger. You will no longer be afraid of conflicts and enter a state of stupor, but instead you will be targeted, fighting back when needed, and dealing with things calmly when needed. In short, you will be able to deal with conflict situations from a higher dimension.

I hope this has been helpful. I wish you well.

Good day, my name is June Lai Feng.

The situation you have outlined is undoubtedly distressing.

When faced with conflict, it is natural to feel a sense of helplessness and frustration if you feel you have no control over the situation. From a psychological perspective, it is a normal reaction to feel our emotions being triggered when we encounter conflict.

If you find yourself in a situation where you feel compelled to argue, it may be because you have strong emotional reactions or you have not yet developed effective conflict resolution skills. Arguments that result in a loss may lead to feelings of disrespect or misunderstanding, which can further exacerbate negative emotions.

You may be exhibiting sulking behavior after returning home because you have not yet identified an effective method for releasing your emotions, or because you feel that the situation is beyond your control.

Specifically,

It is possible that you are unable to control your emotions effectively, which makes you prone to becoming agitated during conflicts. When faced with conflict, you may feel too stressed to respond effectively and express your views and feelings clearly.

A lack of clarity regarding one's strengths and weaknesses, as well as a lack of certainty in one's views and values, can result in a disadvantageous position in an argument. Following a conflict, one is unable to regulate emotions in a timely manner, which can lead to prolonged periods of reflection.

If you wish to alter this situation, you may wish to consider the following methods, which we hope will assist you in coping:

Firstly, it is important to control your emotions. During a conflict, it is vital to remain calm and rational. Avoid becoming overly emotional or complaining, and approach the problem with a positive attitude.

Secondly, a lack of clarity regarding one's strengths and weaknesses, unwavering affirmation of one's own views and values, and the ability to navigate conflict effectively. It is essential to have confidence in one's own views and values and to resist external influence.

Third, it is important to be able to present the other person's views in a way that is perceived as belittling, to express your own views and feelings in a clear and methodical way, to be able to use logical reasoning and rebuttal techniques, and to be able to respond effectively in an argument.

Then, alter your perspective, consider alternative viewpoints, respect the opinions and requirements of all parties, and negotiate compromises when feasible to achieve a superior outcome. Identify a solution that is acceptable to all parties.

Should resolution remain elusive, it may be advisable to seek the assistance of a third party, such as a professional or a leader, to facilitate mediation.

Next, it is important to let go of your pride, regulate your emotions promptly after a conflict, and avoid adopting inappropriate psychological defense mechanisms such as repression or avoidance. It is also beneficial to relieve stress through exercise and meditation, and to recover quickly from conflicts so that you do not become sulky.

It is also important to remember that the outcome of an argument is not as crucial as ensuring that your own rights and interests are protected.

How to Solve Problems and Maintain Good Interpersonal Relationships Take time to reflect on your weaknesses.

Is it the ability to express oneself, or emotional control?

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a very nice day.

Hello, thank you for your question. I am ZQ, a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. I believe that quarrelling is also a skill. It is often the case that this quarrelling is not something we can decide. Some people may have a low sense of quality and may want to create conflict.

It is not always necessary to tolerate when others infringe on our interests. Sometimes, the more we back down, the more arrogant the other person feels, and the more we are bullied and insulted. In such cases, it may be helpful to consider responding in a constructive manner.

Of course, we don't choose to use foul language or harsh words. We just argue with reason. When the other person says something that is unreasonable or maliciously hurtful, you can simply say, "Ah yes, words are short and knowledge is long."

This method of first agreeing and then disagreeing can help the other person understand that you are not someone who is easily influenced or intimidated. The previous "yes" is a way of expressing that even if someone's words seem correct, there might be other perspectives to consider.

The latter's words are often lacking in foresight, which can be an effective strategy against those who are skilled at arguing. Their words tend to come out quickly, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're right. In some cases, it might suggest that they haven't fully considered the implications of their words.

It is not uncommon for the other party to rush out and blame others. It is important to remember that telling lies means that what they say is simply not true. They may be fabricating lies or engaging in scaremongering. Their words of criticism against others, including you, may not be entirely truthful.

For this reason, it is advisable to exercise caution when considering the credibility of their words. It may be helpful to familiarise yourself with these three phrases, which are very concise and can assist in responding to others in a way that reduces feelings of internal oppression.

In any case, it is worth remembering that not everything said by others is meant in a negative way.

Even if you agree outwardly, it is just sarcasm. At least you will not lose to others in terms of inner feelings. When facing interpersonal conflicts, for those who may be perceived as aggressive, it is advisable to avoid engaging in further conflict. As long as it doesn't escalate to the point of physical violence, it is usually not necessary to call the police or take any other drastic measures.

If you nod your head in agreement with whatever the other person says, and respond in a gentle and tactful tone, it can help to defuse the situation. Then, you can respond in a way that shows you are not agreeing with everything they say, but that still maintains a calm and respectful tone. The next step is to try to understand their perspective by asking them how they are feeling. So, it can be helpful to remember these three sentences.

In any case, after responding in a firm but respectful manner, it is advisable to avoid the situation in the future. This is to ensure that, in the event that someone is feeling desperate, they do not resort to extreme measures that could potentially harm themselves.

In most cases, if a conflict cannot be avoided, it is advisable to stand your ground. However, if it can be avoided, it is often beneficial for all parties involved to make some compromises.

If you encounter someone who is particularly disagreeable and unyielding, it may be advisable to avoid giving them any satisfaction. Instead, you could perhaps adopt a sarcastic tone and double down on your criticism. If you feel that your emotions are getting the better of you, it might be helpful to speak to someone about it. This could help to calm your feelings.

Could I ask you something, ZQ?

Good day. I can see that you have experienced some conflicts and are feeling low. I can sense your confusion. You feel that you are being bullied by others and are very upset, but you have nowhere to express your frustration, so you are holding it in.

Additionally, there are individuals in our unit who engage in unprofessional behavior, targeting others based on age. It is imperative that we, the younger generation, advocate for ourselves and assert our rights.

I believe we share similar personalities. You are relatively "soft" when it comes to conflict, probably because you are more introverted and don't usually communicate with others. This makes others think that you are easy to bully and they often pick on you. The most important thing is to learn to say no. Don't just tolerate, and find a way to fight back. Otherwise, people will think that you are easy to bully, and over time, everyone will bully you.

It is important to note that there is nothing inherently wrong with engaging in a disagreement. The appropriate expression of emotions is beneficial for both physical and mental health. However, it is essential to maintain control over one's emotions. In the event of encountering individuals who are unreasonable and unyielding, it is advisable to avoid engaging in a conflict with them. Instead, focus on developing one's strengths and abilities. This can be achieved through dedicated study and pursuit of excellence in one's chosen field. This approach will naturally command respect from others, making it less likely to be subjected to bullying.

It would be advisable to communicate with others, integrate yourself actively, and make more friends. This will ensure that, should another disagreement arise, there are people to support you. In addition, it would be beneficial to learn to control yourself and adjust your behaviour. Attempt to be less angry, talk more with friends, or listen to music, read books, and distract yourself.

Take a walk or go out with friends and sing to relieve your stress.

I hope that in the future you will be able to express your true thoughts with courage and without self-deprecation.

Hello. It seems like you're caught in a tricky situation with this other person. On the one hand, if you just let it go, you'll feel frustrated and stuck, but arguing with them will only make you feel worse because you can't really argue with them.

It's common for anger to reflect our inner needs, like the need for respect and boundaries. When others are rude, we might feel especially unable to let go or always feel aggrieved. It can also be related to past negative experiences. For example, if you were bullied when you were young and had no way to defend yourself, you might suppress a lot of emotions and resentment, and even hide dissatisfaction with yourself: why was I unable to protect myself?

I don't know how you two get along. If you don't see each other much and the issue isn't about personal things, but just a misunderstanding, and the other person is unreasonable or very aggressive, then maybe arguing with them will make them "feel good." Just like the "barbarians" that often appear on the internet, the more you debate with them, the more satisfied they get, because what they want is probably not the truth or a solution to the problem, but to get more attention.

You can figure out what kind of person the other person is and what they're trying to achieve. If they just want to "argue," then ignoring them might be a more powerful response.

If the issue is about something important to you, you can also get help from someone outside the company, like the police. Or, record what happened and think about how to handle it later.

If you're dealing with a conflict at work and someone crosses your boundaries—like, for example, exploiting you, depriving you of your legitimate interests, or treating you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable—you can give feedback in a timely manner, tell them you don't agree with this approach, and suggest a way you'd like to handle it. For example: "What you just said makes me feel like I'm not being treated as an equal colleague, and I can't accept this way of working together. I suggest that we respect each other as colleagues, talk things over, and solve problems together.

If the other person is just being unreasonable, you can also ask your boss or the HR department to step in.

Sometimes, it's tough to reason with someone who's stubborn and unyielding. People who are good at reasoning often feel powerless when dealing with people who are obsessed with arguing. But you don't have to think that the only way to defend yourself is to argue back and win the argument. You can also defend yourself by expressing your views in your own way, choosing to deal with the dispute through a third party, or choosing to ignore the other person's obsession. These are all your own choices.

Hello, question asker! My name is Evan, and I'm a counselor from the Transactional Analysis school.

From what you've said, I can tell you're feeling a bit helpless in your relationships. We all have different needs, and when they conflict, it can be tough to know how to handle things.

We all face interpersonal conflicts from time to time. They can be especially challenging when we're not great at arguing and are easily bullied. It's natural to want to put a stop to injustice, but it's not always easy to know how to handle these situations. That's why it's so helpful to have some strategies and methods to fall back on.

When we're facing interpersonal conflicts, it's really helpful to have some strategies to protect our legitimate rights and interests. Since the question was asked on a platform, we can't go into a lot of detail about the needs of the person who asked the question, but we can offer some simple suggestions:

It's okay to feel angry or frustrated when you're facing a conflict. It's natural to want to lash out or retreat. But try to stay calm and rational. Take a deep breath. It'll help you calm down. And remember, you're in control of your emotions. Don't let them control you. Avoid impulsive behavior. If you need to, take a moment to leave the scene or find a way to calm down. You've got this!

When you're feeling calm, it's easier to think rationally and respond in a way that's best for everyone.

It's so important to learn to listen. When we're faced with interpersonal conflicts, it's so tempting to rush to define the other person as someone who wants to argue. But try to stand in the other person's shoes for a moment and listen to what their request is and whether it is reasonable. You'll find that listening is the key to solving problems. When we give the other person enough room to express themselves and respect their views, we can really help ourselves to understand the root cause of the conflict.

This not only shows respect, but it also helps you respond better to the other person's point of view. At the same time, by listening, you can find a solution that is acceptable to both parties, which is really great!

Find common ground! Learn some great communication techniques, like Nonviolent Communication (NVC). This approach helps you express your feelings and needs without blaming the other person. It's a great way to share your views without triggering the other person's defense mechanisms.

It's always a great idea to try to find common ground with the other person. It helps bring them closer together and ease the tension. When you find common ground, you're building trust and understanding, which is the perfect foundation for a solution!

This point of communication is also a great opportunity to find a win-win solution with the other person.

It's so important to maintain boundaries in relationships. If you're feeling uncomfortable with someone's behavior, you have every right to speak up and ask them to stop. Be clear and kind when you express your feelings, and don't hesitate to ask for what you need.

When you're sharing your thoughts, try to use kind, respectful language and avoid attacking or accusing the other person. This will help make the conflict less intense and make it easier for the other person to accept your views.

If you're having trouble resolving a conflict, don't worry! You can always ask for help from someone else. This could be a family member, friend, or even a professional. They can offer you a fresh perspective and support you in finding a solution.

When you're facing a conflict, it can be really helpful to seek support from other professionals who can help you mediate or arbitrate. This can help you avoid getting stuck in a misunderstanding.

It's okay to learn to let go. If you find yourself in a conflict that you can't seem to resolve, or if the other person isn't open to constructive dialogue, it might be best to step away from the conversation. It's important to remember that your emotional well-being is more valuable than arguing.

Sometimes, it's okay to let things go. If you can't resolve the conflict or the other person isn't open to change, it might be best to accept that and find ways to avoid similar situations in the future.

Take some time to reflect after every conflict. Think about what happened, how the other person responded, and how you can improve your response strategies in the future. It's also important to give yourself some time and space to deal with your emotions after a conflict.

Take some time for yourself to relax and recharge! Go for a walk, read a book, or meditate. Do whatever you enjoy to help you feel calm and centered again.

I just wanted to say that I think it's a shame when people generalise about the quality of older women in some places. I think it's important to remember that a person's quality is not defined by their region or age. While there may be some common issues among people from a certain region or age group, it's unfair to assume that everyone from that region or age group will have the same experiences.

So, when we're faced with a conflict, it's really helpful to try to see each person as an individual, rather than lumping the whole group together.

Dealing with interpersonal conflicts is something we can all learn and grow in. With a little experience and some helpful tips, you'll be a pro in no time!

It's totally normal to feel discouraged after a failed attempt at communication. But don't let that get you down! Instead, view it as a chance to learn and grow. And remember to keep an open mind and be open to different points of view. That way, you'll be able to connect with others in a more positive way.

I really hope my answer can help the questioner!

I'd also like to suggest a few other books that I think you'll find helpful.

"12 Must-Reads on Communication and Persuasion" is a wonderful book that brings together classic works on communication and persuasion. It covers a variety of communication skills and strategies to help you better understand and deal with conflicts in interpersonal relationships.

"12 Must-Reads on Communication and Persuasion, Part 2": This book is a great follow-up to the previous one! It dives deeper into advanced communication and persuasion techniques, especially strategies for dealing with complex and difficult interpersonal conflicts.

Conflict and Consensus: How to Effectively Resolve Interpersonal Conflicts: This book is here to help! It focuses on the handling of interpersonal conflicts and the reaching of consensus, providing a series of practical methods and techniques to help the reader better manage conflicts and promote harmonious interpersonal relationships.

"The Unspeakable Conversation: How to Communicate Effectively with Challenging People" is a great read! It offers helpful tips and techniques for navigating tricky conversations with people who are difficult to interact with.

"Psychology of Human Relations" is a great read if you're looking for a psychological perspective on interpersonal relationships. It dives deep into how these relationships form, grow, and sometimes, conflict. Plus, it offers lots of helpful psychological techniques and methods for resolving those tricky interpersonal conflicts.

"The Psychology of Human Relations" is a wonderful self-improvement and interpersonal relationship guide written by the amazing American author Dale Carnegie. This book offers a deep dive into the different characteristics and quirks of human nature. It also provides lots of practical tips and techniques to help you understand yourself and others better, which can lead to more fulfilling and enjoyable relationships.