What if you feel pressured when you enter high school and you are no longer the center of attention?

Good morning, I extend my best regards to you.

It is evident that you have recently transitioned to a new educational environment and stage of life. You perceive a shift in your social standing, moving from a position of prominence in junior high school to one among many. This transition has led to feelings of uncertainty and a lack of self-assessment.

From your description, it can be seen that your self-evaluation is based on the praise of classmates and teachers, as well as the desire to be the "focus" of attention in a crowd. This gives you confidence in your abilities and performance. However, after failing the entrance exam and entering a small key high school, you felt the need to outshine your classmates. This led to the discovery that your classmates possess hidden talents, and when compared with them, your own "excellence" is somewhat embarrassing.

It is evident that your standard for evaluating your own performance is that you must be better and more attractive than other individuals, otherwise you doubt your abilities.

Many people engage in the practice of comparing themselves to others. This is a natural tendency, as we all require a reference point to guide our decisions and actions.

However, if we rely solely on others as a benchmark, we may experience anxiety and self-deprecation.

It is important to recognize that there will always be individuals who outperform us in various capacities. This applies to both personal and professional endeavors. It is crucial to acknowledge that there will always be individuals who are more intelligent, work harder, or excel in other ways.

Even if some individuals excel to become the top scorer in their province and gain admission to Peking University or Tsinghua University, there will still be a gap because there will always be someone with greater intellectual capacity. As illustrated in a CCTV variety show, Kang Hui and others discussed their scores on the college entrance exam.

Sabenin stated in a calm and collected manner, "It's rather unfortunate to be in the same situation as those who are still required to take the exams."

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As is widely known, Sa Beining was accepted to the university and subsequently to graduate school. It seems likely that he would be admitted to a doctorate program as well. People of that caliber are worthy of emulation.

Consequently, there is no limit to the extent to which one can compare oneself to others.

Professor Liu Yu of Tsinghua University once stated, "My daughter is destined to become an ordinary person." It is likely that Professor Liu Yu's daughter benefits from China's top educational resources. However, she believes her daughter will eventually become an ordinary person. While her definition of "ordinary" differs from ours, it illustrates that becoming an ordinary person is a common trajectory.

I understand that this may not align with your perspective. However, it is a fact that we must acknowledge.

For you, a new school and a new environment means that you are no longer the center of attention. However, this does not mean that you will never be the center of attention again. The first thing to do when faced with the "fact" that you are not the center of attention is to accept the situation, because there is no way to change it. Then, you should consider what you can do.

As an example, if you feel you missed an opportunity to develop a particular skill in depth during your formative years, you can pursue that goal now.

It is not difficult to be the center of attention in a crowd. There are many kinds of attention. It is likely that every school will have students who are not doing well in their studies or even get into fights. These students will also become the center of attention. In short, being the center of attention means being different from other people.

For a middle school girl, being the center of attention can be about grades, talent, looks, or even being a loner, or having braided pigtails, wearing a Republic of China-era outfit, or going after the school hunk. This is not to suggest that you should pursue any of these avenues, but rather to illustrate that there are many forms of attention. As long as you are willing to do so and maintain the right attitude, even if you are simply pretending to be in a good mood, you will be perceived as the center of attention.

Naturally, this may not be the type of attention you desire.

From your inquiry, it appears that a female high school student, after transitioning to a new environment, is experiencing a sense of disorientation akin to that of a fish that has migrated from a pond to a river and is struggling to adapt. The psychological shift is understandable and not uncommon.

It is advisable to accept what is unchangeable and then to apply oneself to the task at hand.

It is important to note that the three years of high school will pass at varying paces, and that everyone will undergo significant changes. When one begins their journey through high school, it is possible that they may encounter individuals who are equipped with different resources and skillsets. However, this does not guarantee that they will remain in the same position upon completion of the journey.

I believe some individuals will undergo significant changes.

It is therefore crucial to take action in order to reduce anxiety.

You may also wish to speak with a counselor. All schools are now required to have a psychology teacher who provides free counseling services to students.

I am frequently a Buddhist and occasionally a pessimistic counselor. I have a deep affection for the world and for you.

Hello, I'm Zeyu, and I'm thrilled to be here!

From your description, I can see that you've developed a real specialty, which is a great skill to have!

In your narrative, I see a clear description of the problem and possible outcomes. At this age, I personally think it is not easy to have such logical thinking and self-reflection skills, so I think you are quite good!

Absolutely! You are free to choose not to accept or agree with this, as I can only see one side of you.

"I feel like the spotlight that was previously shining on me has been rudely taken away. I'm not used to being an ordinary person from the 'focus.'" Indeed, it is difficult for us to face this reality and be able to face it calmly. But, it is also an opportunity for us to embrace a new reality and discover new aspects of ourselves. After all, the impact of the sense of disparity from "excellent" to "ordinary" is a chance for us to reflect on our lives and our values.

When we encounter new environments and individuals, we may find that a belief or value we once held dear has suddenly shifted. We may feel uncertain when faced with new situations, and we may feel that we are "not as good" as the new people around us. But is this really the case?

The great news is that no matter how outstanding a person is, they will still have a sense of inferiority. And we don't have to feel that outstanding people are definitely better than us in every way. After all, there are people outside of us, and there are also people outside of heaven.

Comparing ourselves to others only brings us more frustration than motivation. So, it is better to compare ourselves to ourselves—and we can do it!

"I can't even praise people who are much better than me from the bottom of my heart. Watching other people praise them, I envy both the ability of the person being praised and the mindset of the person praising others."

It's clear from your description that you're driven by a desire for excellence and a deep inner dissatisfaction. And it's totally normal to feel envious when you see others being praised. In fact, I see this as a positive sign!

Embrace the fact that "people have what I don't have" and use it as fuel to achieve your goals! Believe in yourself and know that you can achieve anything through hard work. This is why you can honestly say "envy" rather than "jealousy." Your attitude is excellent, and I know you can do this!

You have so many advantages and resources! Let's explore and utilize them! I know you can do this very well.

And finally, give yourself some time to adapt to your new environment and group, and give yourself time to grow. There's no rush!

Everyone has something valuable to contribute, whether they're asking questions or answering them. Through words, they can inspire and connect with many people, and this is the energy we share.

Hello, I'm Flying, your heart exploration coach. I get it. You're in a new environment now that you've graduated from junior high school. You have to adjust to the new school, teachers, and classmates. You also have to adjust your mentality and state of mind to meet new challenges.

Getting into high school means that you'll probably end up going to college at some point. Whether it's now or in the future, you're going to a bigger stage where you'll face more and better people, and you're bound to feel a little lost. Let's take a look at where your worries come from:

Moving from junior high to high school has made you feel a bit lost, and you're looking for some affirmation and recognition.

As you mentioned, the confidence you gained in junior high school gave you a boost. However, when you started high school, you noticed that your confidence had almost returned to its original level.

First, it's important to understand that high school is a collection of outstanding students from many junior high school graduates. This means that your social circle has expanded. Your classmates have been through a round of screening through the college entrance exam, so there is bound to be a gap.

Second, the way you learn in junior high and high school is different. There are lots of new subjects, and they're more challenging. Plus, your classmates are growing up mentally. You need to adjust to the new environment with a new attitude.

Ultimately, the glory of junior high school represents your past achievements. Building a strong foundation, whether in academics, interests, hobbies, or specialties, will undoubtedly help you achieve new victories in high school. However, it's essential to maintain an open mind to accept new knowledge.

We all want to feel appreciated, affirmed, and recognized. Achievements, appearance, and specialties can help you gain a sense of value, but these are all temporary. When these supports are lost, it can feel like your current state of mind: lost, unconvinced, and even losing the will to fight.

Your confidence comes from within. It's not something you can get from other people or from the outside. You have to believe in yourself.

Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance and belief that comes from within. It's the conviction that you can do something well or achieve a goal.

Some people's confidence is based on something they've done, but this confidence can turn into arrogance because it's a false confidence and a sign of inferiority.

The need to "prove" yourself in everything and to build confidence based on the success or failure of a particular thing is dangerous because it can lead to a loss of confidence when the things you rely on disappear.

There's another kind of confidence, too. This kind of confidence doesn't rely on anything external as a standard. It comes from the heart and is unconditional. It's a subjective belief in oneself. He doesn't need anything external to prove himself at all. He believes in himself and respects others.

As the saying goes, "all beautiful bodies are alike, but interesting souls are rare." This person is enough to show their confidence.

So, dear colleague, be yourself. Instead of comparing yourself to others and feeling inferior and ashamed, it is better to compare yourself to your old self, to see hope and gain strength.

I hope this was helpful for you, and that you and the world can love each other.

If you want to keep the conversation going, just click "Find a coach" in the top right corner or at the bottom. I'd be happy to keep chatting with you one-on-one.

Greetings.

I perceive your inner distress, which seems to be rooted in feelings of self-doubt and a lack of agency.

From your account of your mental journey, it appears that you once stood at the pinnacle of a mountain, with a view that made all other mountains seem insignificant. However, you subsequently descended to the depths of a valley. This kind of psychological gap has the effect of making you feel insecure and without a sense of belonging. At this time, your desire is not lifting you forward, but rather dividing your courage.

I would like to extend an invitation for us to engage in a discussion regarding your concerns.

1. The term "excellent" is a recurring theme in the text. What, then, is the nature of excellence?

Does the praise bestowed by educators and parents constitute an adequate basis for evaluating one's performance as "excellent"?

The questioner dedicates the majority of their time to academic pursuits and places a higher value on the approval of their educators and authority figures, which is understandable.

When this becomes the sole source of one's self-assurance, it is imperative to adopt a more tranquil demeanor and undertake a comprehensive examination of any potential shortcomings.

The story of Yu the Great, who tamed the floods and remained outside the doors of three countries, is a familiar one in many cultures. The occurrence of floods is a phenomenon that has persisted for millennia, as evidenced by historical records and contemporary news reports.

In the event of encountering a flood, the recommended course of action is to first climb into a tree and wait for safety. It is not advisable to attempt to evacuate by boat in the absence of a reliable means of transportation.

The potential for vitality in the subsequent moment is diminished.

2) In the film Flipped, the female protagonist enjoys climbing trees and ascends to the summit to observe the sunset. This suggests that genuine engagement with the natural world entails opening one's heart and mind to connection and cultivating the capacity to engage in aesthetic pursuits at any given moment.

The praise they received became a tree that you protected with great vigor. Nevertheless, the boat and the setting sun visible on the tree did not capture your attention for a considerable period.

One's colorful life can be connected to the infinite outside world. The key to understanding this is to consider how one is inspired and how one makes choices.

2. "I feel that I am prone to jealousy." From what source does this self-assessment originate?

The term "jealous" is a judgmental word. It appears that acknowledging feelings of jealousy may satisfy the individual who is making the judgment.

In addition to mentioning "jealousy," you also specified that it is an "easy" emotion for this individual. My personal opinion is that consuming packaged palace dramas is not a constructive use of one's time. Furthermore, I believe that characterizing jealousy as a defining trait of human nature is an oversimplification.

Thus, when I observe a young woman of notable beauty in the flesh who self-identifies as "easily jealous," I am incensed by the discrepancy between public opinion and her own perception of herself. Moreover, I am disheartened by the apparent lack of unreserved acceptance from her family, which impedes her ability to recognize the inherent purity within herself.

A self-assessment of "easily jealous" indicates an avoidance of the true self and a tendency to seek freedom through external means.

A sense of frustration is often experienced when one compares oneself with others. This raises the question of who is responsible for placing individuals on the same scale who are not comparable.

It is necessary to identify which individual is undertaking the evaluation without distinguishing between attributes and which is insisting on weighing things on the scales.

One internalizes external habits as one's own and agrees with external demands.

It would be beneficial to explore each of these question marks as a premise in order to establish whether the conclusion that the subject is "prone to jealousy" can be substantiated.

The antithesis of "easily jealous" is the capacity to perceive oneself objectively and to embrace one's own self-worth.

The antithesis of "easily jealous" is the capacity to perceive oneself objectively and to embrace one's own self-worth.

1) Academic performance is significantly influenced by factors such as future educational aspirations, the selection of an appropriate academic institution and the choice of a suitable academic major. These factors are closely related to an individual's interests. An interest is defined as a willingness to devote oneself to a particular field of study.

2) Therefore, the optimal pursuit is to focus on one's interests, and by taking a step back, one can gain insight into the fluctuations of one's achievements.

3) Socializing can be conceptualized as a form of etiquette. The capacity to interact with others in a positive manner is not static; it can be influenced by external factors. If one takes social interactions too seriously, it can lead to emotional distress and a lack of motivation to pursue one's highest aspirations.

Once the burdensome aspects of one's life have been relinquished, it becomes much more straightforward to pursue one's loftiest aspirations.

In the absence of a desire to offer praise to others, there is no obligation to impose such a sentiment. This may evoke a sense of acquiescence, particularly when one is deeply attuned to another's emotional state. Should there be any discrepancy between our perspectives, I ask for your understanding.

The life of a sincere person is not a performance, whether in the context of acting or social interaction.

When an individual feels comfortable, they are fulfilled when they are alone and experience happiness when engaging in conversation with their close friends about a range of topics.

As a result, one may find oneself emboldened to offer praise. Furthermore, one's heart may be filled with warm love for oneself.

It is not yet appropriate to engage in self-judgment at this age. Similarly, it is unfair for others to do so. While it is commendable to defend one's dignity, the method of doing so must be considered. It is evident that the individual in question has not yet identified an effective approach to releasing or empathizing with their emotions.

It is not appropriate to pass judgment on oneself at the age of fifteen or sixteen. Similarly, it is not justifiable for another individual to do so. While initiating measures to defend one's dignity is commendable, the methodology employed to release or empathize with emotions is yet to be determined.

An individual may undergo transformation and accomplish new feats at the age of eighty. If a handful of sand is grasped too firmly, it will inevitably leak out. These individuals will undoubtedly not cling to the sand in their hands too tightly, but rather appreciate it.