What if your son wants to be friends with his classmates but they don't want to have anything to do with him?

Hello! I'm thrilled to be able to answer your question. I hope some suggestions will be helpful to you.

From your description, I can feel your urgency and worry that your child may have some interpersonal problems that cannot be resolved. But don't worry! I'm here to help.

First of all, we must promptly adjust our own emotional state. Parents are, to a large extent, the pillars of their children. If we ourselves are flustered, the child will feel that this is a huge problem and that they are finished. But if we stay calm and positive, they will see that even their parents can solve the problem!

But if we are calm and stable ourselves, giving the child enough confidence, telling them that these things are actually very small in life, that you can try to regulate them yourself first, and that if you can't, there are parents who can help you regulate them, then the child will at least be braver in this regard, will not feel afraid or fearful, and will feel a certain sense of security. On this basis, it may be easier for us to solve problems!

So, this part is all about spotting those emotions and then taking action! If we're feeling a bit down, we can get some help from a psychologist to get our emotions back on track.

The second thing is to find out why the child can't make friends.

Sometimes our understanding of our children's school lives is one-sided. For example, we only know from our children that they don't want to be friends with someone because they can't empathize with the topic of conversation.

But what if there's another possibility? It's high school now, and they're eager to spend all their time and energy on studying and their schoolwork, which is great! They also want to use their free time to pursue their hobbies, like daydreaming a little, or maybe ask a few questions. So they don't have a lot of time for spiritual conversations or long-winded sharing, which is totally understandable! This has led to a misunderstanding, or a misunderstanding of the child's expression on our part, and the child is not really in such a predicament, which is good to know!

So in this part, we have a great opportunity to listen more to some of the child's expressions, grasp the key points, understand what the fundamental problem the child may be facing is, and also assist the child so that they can discover the key points for themselves.

There are two possibilities here. One is that we may have misunderstood the child's expression. The other is that the child may have misunderstood some of the problems encountered at school.

Even though misunderstandings may arise from communication between children and their classmates, we can easily dispel them and return to a state where communication is possible!

And the best part is, we can also help and guide our children to improve their individual outlook on friendship!

It's so important to remember that everyone has different ways and reasons for making friends. We can't become good friends with all the dozens of children in the class, and we won't become good friends with all our colleagues or neighbors in the future. But that's okay! There are so many other people out there who we can become good friends with.

Good friends are selective, and it is a fun challenge to choose a confidant. It is also an exciting adventure to find someone who shares the same interests as you.

At the same time, friends also have stages, and it's so important for children to adapt to such a stage change!

For example, some of our experiences can be shared with children. For example, do friends from elementary school change groups when they go to junior high school? The same applies to our high school years. Maybe friends from the first year of high school will not necessarily become friends in the second year, but we may make new friends in the second year. Then the current situation may be that our friendships are not as strong as they once were, but it is also possible that we will meet new friends in the near future!

And finally, it's about how we find common ground! Friendships come in different forms and through different channels.

For example, we will talk to friends about things that interest us. This is a great way to share and listen to each other!

The topic of conversation is very important. Children love to talk about wild and fanciful ideas! This part is definitely not a bad part. What we need is to find someone who is willing to listen to this part of us.

For example, if someone can't stand novels and doesn't like to read, we'll go and chat to them about novels. No matter how exciting the story is, this person might not want to listen and might even find it annoying, but that's okay! The target audience for novels are people who like fantasy or the plot of a novel, and we can still have fun chatting about other things together.

So, the child's communication partner may not be the best fit, which presents an opportunity to work on communication with classmates.

Not everyone loves to hear stories or exchange dreams. In a class of 30 or 40 students, it's possible that only one child enjoys this activity. But that doesn't mean they can't make friends in class!

This possibility exists! While not everyone among the teachers and students of the whole school dislikes it, there are plenty of us who do. So let's break away from the friendship channels within the class and look for other people who like this part of the school. We can talk to them! I can't possibly know everyone among the teachers and students of the whole school, and it's impossible for us not to have so many coincidences. We might hit a wall everywhere, but that's okay! On the Internet, we can find a way to search for a channel where we can share with others.

For example, if you want to know what your child's dream is, what kind of person he wants to be in the future, or if he has some little stories in his head that he wants to share with you and his classmates, then we can find such a group on the Internet. It's a great way to connect with like-minded people! My personal dream is to study psychology, so I can go online to find people who also like psychology and talk about our dreams together. Then, whether it's the process of sharing or the process of listening, everyone will feel comfortable and at ease. It's a fantastic way to make new friends!

And if we like to share our whimsical ideas, then we can look for some story clubs or small groups that like to create. Then in the process of sharing, everyone will feel happy!

In summary, there are several areas that we can work on together to make things better! One is to sort out our emotions, and the other is to achieve mutual understanding with our children and the essence of the problem, whether there is a misunderstanding or to find the root of the problem. Finally, it is to find a group that suits you and has common interests and hobbies to share with!

I really hope that through self-reflection and constant communication with your children, you can find a solution that suits you better, make more good friends, and not affect your daily life and studies!

The world and I love you!