What should a 17-year-old high school freshman do when a girl persistently pesters him?

Hello, friend! I'm Liu Tangxin.

My dear child, I am happy for you as an adult after reading your description.

First, you need to be a good boy.

Second, you are not at all complacent about your good looks, and you have a very pure heart.

You deserve to feel good about high school life. You don't want to be harassed, treated exaggeratedly, or treated with disrespect. You know you don't like these behaviors, and you shouldn't have to put up with them!

They're like fans who do things that have nothing to do with liking their idols. They do things that satisfy themselves more in the name of liking them, without paying any attention to your feelings.

I don't want to defend them. I just want to share my feelings with you. When I was in school, I wanted to see how good the school hunk was in other people's mouths because there was a school hunk in school. I also looked at him a few more times because of his appearance. Some cheerful girls even took the initiative to talk to the school hunk and confess their love. They liked him and were moved, adding some adolescent throbbing to the boring study life. But this is not an excuse to harass others and disturb their lives.

If they really just like you, you can tell them why you want to film me. Do you like me?

If you like me, thank you for your interest. But respect my wishes. If they say they're willing to respect you, tell them, "I hope you don't follow me. It will burden me. Don't take pictures of me secretly. I will be disgusted. If you and I meet, we can say hello."

I don't want to be watched by others, and I'm sure you don't like it either.

You don't have to say this if you don't want to.

If they don't change their ways, you can ignore them in the future or even tell them that you've explained the reasoning. What they're doing is unacceptable.

If you ignore them for a long time and don't give them a glance, they'll never do anything excessive again.

You've got a lot on your plate in high school, so just relax. Don't sweat the girls' little crushes and attentions. If they cross a line, you'll know.

Come on, friends!

Enjoy your youth!

If I might offer my input, I must admit that I am unsure of the solution. However, I do have some thoughts to share. First and foremost, I believe you are an excellent young man, and I am confident that there are many positive qualities about you that they find appealing. What I am less certain about is whether the confusion stems from their following you around or taking photos and posting them on WeChat Moments. It would be helpful to determine which of these is the greater source of concern and then take appropriate measures. You might consider seeking advice from friends who are more perceptive and experienced in navigating these situations. One approach could be to use the enemy's own tactics against them.

If it's an option, it might be helpful to use their own methods against them. If I were in your shoes, I would consider asking the girls directly: What do you like about me?

Perhaps it would be helpful to gently point out some of the things you could do differently.

I'd like to share a story with you. It's about an old man who loved peace and quiet. One day, a group of children ran to his house, playing and making a lot of noise. He told them repeatedly, but they didn't listen. Later, the old man called the children over to him and said, "You make me very happy when you play here. I'd like to give you a reward of 25 cents. If you come back tomorrow, you'll get another one." The children were happy and came back the next day to get another reward. On the third day, the reward was 20 cents. On the fourth day, it was 15 cents. On the fifth day, it was 10 cents. Finally, the children were unhappy and said, "We work hard to play and bring him happiness. But the rewards are getting less and less. It's no fun, so we won't come back!" What can we learn from this story?

Good evening!

Based on what you've told me...

I get the feeling you're pretty annoyed about this.

Playing ball is meant to be a happy thing.

Now, because of the girls' secret photography

This makes you feel pretty constrained and uncomfortable.

It's likely pretty easy to be photographed playing ball in public, especially on campus.

It's really easy to get photographed.

And then it's probably shared with your friends.

This also infringes on your privacy.

It also shows that such classmates are very self-centered.

If you really object to this,

You need to make your objection clear and firm.

Let them know you don't approve of their actions.

It's also possible that they're still

Or maybe they're just playing out their own idol dramas?

Or maybe they took your picture without your knowledge.

and they got the chance to talk to you.

They probably think this is a way to get in touch with you.

You might be pretty easy on the eyes.

He looks really good playing ball.

Some girls just can't help but become quite infatuated.

When I was studying

They'll also see pictures of handsome guys playing basketball that other students have posted on my wall.

Pictures of attractive men playing ball.

They might say something like, "He's quite handsome."

Then just move on.

So, you've done your best to stop it.

Please relax. If others aren't using it illegally, there's no need to worry.

Don't worry about it too much.

I hope you'll have a speedy resolution to your issues.

Good day, landlord.

I did some research online to try to find answers to the question of whether it is infringement to have someone's photo posted on a friend's circle. So far, the information I have found suggests that...

It is worth noting that the use of another person's portrait for profit without consent before January 1, 2021 may be considered an infringement of rights. However, starting from January 1, 2021, the Civil Code has expanded the content of personality rights, including the right to privacy and the right to a portrait. This has led to a notable increase in the scope of these rights compared to before. It is important to be mindful that using or disseminating another person's portrait without their consent, even if it is for non-profit purposes, could be viewed as an illegal infringement if it causes harm to the person concerned.

It is possible to protect your rights through legal channels, but it is advisable to seek advice from legal professionals regarding the details of the law. This is to ensure that you are aware of the specific steps you need to take to prove that the dissemination of these photos of you has caused you harm.

If you find yourself in such a situation, it might be challenging to pursue legal action. For instance, if you are photographed from behind and the girls do not use verbal violence against you on their Moments posts, it might not be evident whether it causes you harm. There could also be other hurdles to overcome. For example, minors have limited legal capacity and cannot independently exercise their right to litigation. If you wish to be the plaintiff, you would also require a legal guardian, that is, your parents, to act as your legal representative.

It might be helpful to consider consulting a lawyer before making a decision, given the potential time and energy requirements of legal proceedings.

If you'd like to find a solution without involving the legal system, I suggest reaching out to the girls to understand their perspective. Since you mentioned they send you photos, it's likely you have their WeChat accounts.

You might consider asking them via WeChat. Once you've gained a better understanding of their needs, you could express your knowledge and understanding of those needs. At the same time, you could also be honest with them about the difficulties you've faced as a result of these practices.

It may be helpful to consider that the clearer you express the negative influence or feelings you have experienced, the more likely they are to understand. Similarly, the clearer and more determined you express your desire for them to stop, for example by firmly asking them to delete your photos from their circle of friends, the more likely they are to stop. If necessary, warning them that this may violate the law also has the effect of prompting them to stop.

It seems that teenagers of this age group have a tendency to think in an egocentric manner. This could mean that they believe that if they enjoy taking photos and posting them, others will also enjoy them. It's possible that this is also how they view the photos you've seen. Even though he said he didn't like it, he hasn't seen the results and might have a different opinion if he did.

It's possible that they don't have much familiarity with this aspect of civil law, and they may have a somewhat limited sense of privacy and portrait rights. They might believe that because they find you attractive, it's also interesting to take a picture, and that this doesn't cause you any harm.

It might be helpful to try a few more times. You could consider using different words to express to different people in different communication situations the negative impact they have on you. You could also express your unwillingness to be treated this way. After a few times, they may gradually understand that your feelings and wishes are very different from what they imagined. They may then begin to realize that their enthusiasm is at the expense of your unhappiness. It's likely that this was not their original intention to take and post pictures online. Once they understand this, it may be a very natural choice for them to stop doing it.

Another approach you might consider is to refrain from responding and allow things to naturally evolve when their interest wanes.

It is important to remember that minors have a wide range of interests. Their interest may be aroused, whether positively or negatively, depending on how you respond to them. You may have had a similar experience: the more you avoid doing something, the more you may be drawn to it.

It seems that you have already expressed your dislike. They may be motivated to continue persuading you that it is fun because of your response. If you insist on not responding to this matter, they will naturally stop after their interest in playing for a while has worn off. However, this requires you to put up with them taking as many photos as they like and posting them on social media before they stop. You may wish to consider whether you are willing to do this.

If you have tried both methods and they still refuse to stop, you might consider informing them of the relevant legal information about portrait rights and using your own circle of friends to help you.

You might consider using screenshots of the chat history with them and the photos they posted of you in their Moments as supporting evidence. It may be helpful to write clearly about the unstoppable sequence of events and post it in your own Moments, appealing to them once again to stop the infringement and stating that you reserve the right to take legal action if they do not delete the photos of you in their Moments. You can also decide which parts to post and how many times to post them in your Moments according to your own needs.

It would be advisable to remove any personal information that may be available, depending on the circumstances, as this could also be a matter of privacy.

I believe that not being deprived of one's will is a fundamental right of the individual, though I am uncertain as to how it relates to the law. To illustrate this with an analogy, a thief who only steals the change in your pocket is not generally considered to have caused you significant harm. However, the reason it is considered a crime is because the act was done without your consent, and it was against your will. Furthermore, the money in question still belongs to you as an individual.

While your portrait is not tangible property, it is also part of your personal belongings. Therefore, it cannot be "stolen" or taken away by others without your consent and for their own use. By taking it for their own use, it means that the person can use it as they wish, just as the thief who stole the money can use it as they wish.

I'm sorry to say that this is a deprivation of your personal rights.

You are, of course, entitled to defend your legal rights yourself and through the law. However, it is also important to take responsibility for not having your personal rights violated. There are other options in this process, such as turning to school teachers and administrators, and you can also ask parents to get involved. Perhaps you could consider coming up with more and better solutions.

I'm grateful that you've already expressed your feelings and wishes to the girls directly and politely. Perhaps if you do it a few more times, they'll understand. It can be challenging for us to learn to understand others. What you're doing is also helping those girls learn and grow. Thinking about and trying unpleasant things can be a way to grow personally.

That's all for now. I love you and I'm here for you.

Hello, handsome boy!

I am Liu Yong, a psychological counselor. From your description, I can tell that you are an outgoing guy with a good appearance and a love of sports. Many girls like this kind of guy, so congratulations. In this age of looks, you have an advantage!

This has also caused you trouble. A few girls have been pestering you, taking your picture and posting it on WeChat Moments. You need to take control of the situation. Let's see what solutions there are.

1. Report the girls to their teacher and ask the teacher to forbid them to follow you. This may be effective, but it will also have side effects. First, it will hurt the girls' self-esteem, and second, others may think you are too self-important, which will affect your interpersonal relationships. This method is not recommended.

2. Add them on WeChat, then take a screenshot of their Moments post and tell them in no uncertain terms that their behavior has caused you distress and violated your portrait rights. You have retained evidence and will take legal action if they don't stop taking secret photos and posting them on Moments. If they don't listen, you can also hire a lawyer to send them a warning letter.

3. Ignore them, pay them no mind, and treat them like air. They'll get bored and give up if you do this for a long time. You need a strong mind to do this.

You know yourself best and are most familiar with yourself, so you have the best idea. Now calm down and think about what exactly you hate about them. Discuss it with your classmates or teachers based on the reasons you have found.

Growing pains are also sweet troubles. Your future is going to be full of sunshine!

The world and I love you. I am Liu Yong, a psychotherapist.