What should I do if I am extremely afraid of a place and a thought keeps appearing repeatedly?

Dear colleague, I empathize with your situation. It's understandable to feel apprehension, unease, and nervousness when confronted with interpersonal challenges at school. If I were in your position, I would also feel a sense of unease and anxiety.

It's normal to feel stressed and uncertain in these situations. Many people face similar challenges as they grow up, especially in an environment like school.

From a psychological perspective, what you went through might be related to social anxiety. Social anxiety is excessive nervousness and unease in social situations, and the fear of being judged or ridiculed by others.

Boundaries are like a dividing line between who we are and the outside world. They protect us and help us understand ourselves better. In relationships, boundaries are not just about personal comfort, but also help us stay mentally healthy.

In real life, though, we often find ourselves in situations where our boundaries are being crossed. This can be the result of an unintentional offense or a deliberate test.

When someone violates our boundaries, our bodies send us warning signals like a fast heartbeat, a feeling of heat all over, and restlessness and sweating. These signals tell us it's time to take action and defend our boundaries.

But often, we're afraid of offending others, damaging relationships, and the potential risks, so we choose to remain silent and ignore these signals. We're afraid to establish and maintain our own boundaries and protect ourselves.

This fear and tension, like the interpersonal problems you encounter at school, make people feel uneasy and anxious.

In this situation, it's important to take a step back and ask yourself: What was the situation like when you encountered interpersonal problems at school? What happened?

What were your thoughts on the situation? How did it make you feel?

If you're feeling offended for no reason, it's time to face the comments and pressure from the outside world.

What others say about us doesn't define who we are. We're all unique, and our value shouldn't be measured by what others say.

It's also important to learn to express our needs. If we feel like others are laughing at us, we need to clearly say how we feel and, if necessary, use some warning words and methods.

We can't rely on others to protect us. We need to take the initiative and establish our own boundaries.

It's important to pay attention to your emotions and start by caring for yourself, taking care of your body, and looking after your feelings. Thoughts are just thoughts and they're as fleeting as the clouds in the sky.

We don't have to let these thoughts control us. When we feel anxious and restless, we can take a deep breath, bring our minds back to the present, and focus on the task at hand.

Dear examinee, You're not alone. Everyone in this world is working hard for their dreams.

When you're tired and confused, look up and see who else is working hard. They might be facing the same challenges as you. Remember, every challenge is an opportunity to grow, and every difficulty is a whetstone that sharpens the will.

No matter what the results are, you're the best. You gave it your all and faced the challenge head-on.

Courage and perseverance are more valuable than any score. Your future is full of endless possibilities, so don't let current difficulties stop you from moving forward.

Let's do this!

Dear Questioner, You often suspect others of saying bad things about you behind your back at school. This has led to an increase in your sensitivity, which has affected your studies and daily life. I fully understand your anxious state. Best regards, [Name]

Let us examine the underlying cause of this phenomenon. You may be a perfectionist with exceedingly high standards for yourself, frequently perceiving numerous shortcomings and missteps in your actions. In reality, you are discontented with certain aspects of yourself, leading you to perceive external criticism and rejection. Your concern is not about interpersonal relationships but rather the fear of being exposed for your perceived shortcomings.

It is essential to acknowledge certain facts and adjust our perspectives on various matters.

1. It is an indisputable fact that everyone has a number of flaws. Even the most virtuous individuals engage in self-reflection on a daily basis, which demonstrates that they, too, possess shortcomings. Some individuals are adept at concealing their flaws, while others are indifferent to them. Additionally, there are those who perceive flaws in others that are, in fact, characteristics inherent to themselves.

I tend to view these concepts through the lens of "characteristics." Advantages and disadvantages are simply perspectives. From this vantage point, if something is regarded as an advantage in one context, it may be seen as a disadvantage in another. For instance, introversion is a characteristic. While introverts may not be suited for organizational roles, they may excel in research positions where meticulousness is a virtue.

2. Why is it said that people should continue to learn as they age? It is because there is no such thing as absolute perfection, only relative perfection. Human development and growth is a process of continuous learning, progress, and self-improvement. No one is born knowing everything and being good at everything. Nor is it the case that one is good at some things but not others. Everyone is a combination of all their past experiences. It is beneficial to have our own system of knowledge and evaluation. It is advantageous to identify our shortcomings so that we can find ways to improve.

It is not feasible to expect an individual who is unable to identify their own shortcomings to be able to rectify them.

3. Despite the fact that people are social animals and are in relationships, they are constantly changing trains in life, from one stop to the next. In the process, they will meet all kinds of people, most of whom are actually just passing through. There are not many friends who really share similar interests and goals. Having five such friends in a lifetime is already a lot, so it is not important to care about the opinions and judgments of each person.

4. The aforementioned underlying truths and concepts can be considered carefully to facilitate a fundamental shift in perspective. From a practical standpoint, the following methods can be employed:

It is advisable to make a clear plan for yourself and set aside time to focus on the matter at hand.

Engaging in physical activity, such as running, is an effective method for reducing stress and improving mental clarity. For instance, taking a few minutes between classes to go for a short run can help you return to the next class feeling refreshed and ready to concentrate.

It is beneficial to provide yourself with positive affirmations on a daily basis. One method of doing so is to identify five positive attributes about yourself each day and record them in a planner. For example, you might write, "I am excellent at XX," "I have achieved XX," or "What meaningful things have I done today?"

Dear Question Asker, I empathize with your situation.

Interpersonal issues at school can have a significant impact on your emotional state and daily functioning. Feeling misunderstood or mocked by those around you can be particularly distressing, as can the sense of helplessness and loneliness that often accompanies such experiences.

Firstly, I would like to reassure you that your feelings are valid and justified. It is not uncommon for individuals to experience similar concerns and anxieties in specific situations, particularly in the context of interpersonal interactions.

However, when this kind of worry begins to affect your normal life and studies, it is important to identify ways to relieve this kind of emotion.

From a psychological perspective, you may be experiencing a state called "paranoid ideas" or "hypervigilance." In this state, we tend to overinterpret and worry about some ordinary and harmless situations, which can lead to anxiety and fear.

It is important to note that this does not indicate the presence of any underlying issues or illnesses. Rather, it is a natural response of the brain to maintain alertness to potential threats.

However, this state of hypervigilance is not conducive to maintaining good physical and mental health. Therefore, we can try some methods to help us relax and relieve anxiety.

As a first step, we recommend trying some relaxation exercises, such as deep breathing, yoga, or meditation. These activities have been shown to help individuals relax and reduce anxiety and stress.

It is recommended that you find a quiet place in your home and spend a few minutes each day doing these activities. If you persist for a period of time, you will notice a significant reduction in your anxiety.

Secondly, you may wish to consider sharing your feelings and concerns with someone you trust. Communicating and confiding in others can often help us gain a better understanding of our emotions and find solutions to problems.

You may wish to discuss your concerns and feelings with a close friend, family member, or teacher, and to consider their advice and opinions.

Additionally, you may wish to consider some methods of self-awareness and cognitive adjustment. For instance, should you identify that you are once again over-interpreting the actions and words of others, you may wish to try stopping, taking a deep breath, and reminding yourself that this is merely your imagination and worries, rather than the actual situation.

It may be helpful to consider the problem from a different perspective or to gather evidence to support or refute your concerns.

I would also like to share a brief anecdote with you. There was once a young woman who, like you, was beset by trepidation and apprehension about her academic pursuits.

She was concerned about the possibility of negative comments being made about her in private and about being rejected. However, she subsequently recognized that these concerns were largely the result of her own internal fears and insecurities.

She thus opted to engage in active communication with her classmates and participate in various activities. Over time, she came to realize that her classmates were, in fact, quite friendly and not as intimidating as she had initially perceived them to be. Her experience demonstrates that when we confront challenges with courage and determination, many of our concerns and apprehensions dissipate.

It should be noted that change requires time and effort. You may wish to set yourself small goals, such as actively communicating with classmates a few times a day or participating in a school activity once a week.

These incremental goals can assist in gradually stepping out of one's comfort zone and establishing healthier social relationships.

In conclusion, I would like to reassure you that you are not alone. We all face challenges and difficulties in life, but with courage and determination, we can find solutions.

I am confident that you can overcome this challenge and regain your confidence and happiness. I encourage you to take action.

Hello. From what you've said, it seems like the fear and anxiety caused by interpersonal problems are affecting your studies and daily life. Prolonged stress and constant worrying can be exhausting. The more you worry about something, the more likely you are to think it's going to happen, the more internal conflict you'll experience, and the more you'll feel like you can't deal with the situation.

I think you might need some help from someone else. It can help you get things off your chest and understand why you're having problems. It can also give you strength to know you're not alone and that you can get help when you need it. You can start by talking to people around you. For example, you can talk to your family, the school psychologist, or your teacher. They can help you deal with problems or give you advice.

You said you hear other people talking but fill in the blanks with your own thoughts, making it worse. You know you're not really hearing what they're saying about you, but you're imagining things because you're afraid of being criticized. This realization is meaningful because the first step to getting rid of obsessive thoughts is the ability to distinguish between reality and imagination.

Social psychology has a concept called the "spotlight effect." Psychologists have done experiments and found that people often feel like they're being watched and judged by others, but in reality, other people don't really care that much.

Worrying about our flaws, embarrassment, mistakes, and interpersonal relationships affects us more than we realize. It's what's called the "spotlight effect," where we project our inner self-doubt and rejection onto the outside.

So, when others are talking, you can remind yourself, "It's other people's business if they want to chat. If they come to talk to me, I'll respond, but as for the interactions between other people, that's their business. I have my own business to attend to, and others will have their own business to attend to.

In the future, you and your classmates will go your separate ways. Everyone will explore their own lives, meet new people, and look to the future. Take some time to imagine what that might look like.

You can also try to do some relaxing activities that help you feel more in control, like going for a short walk or workout every day and letting off some steam. When you're feeling overwhelmed with work, it's even more important to balance your time between work and rest. Relaxing your body can often help you relax your mind, so when you feel your thoughts getting stuck, you can help improve your state by relaxing your body.

Dear child, I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

The pressure to do well in exams is becoming increasingly intense, and you are concerned that others may be discussing you behind your back. You are struggling to concentrate on your studies, and you are worried that it will impact your learning efficiency. Do you feel bad? I'm sending you lots of love and support. ?

If I might offer you a suggestion, it would be this:

1. With regard to interpersonal relationships, it would be beneficial to learn how to respond to other people's comments in a constructive manner and to develop an internally stable self-evaluation system. This will help you to remain internally peaceful when faced with other people's negativity.

It seems that your fear is rooted in the idea that others may dislike or reject you. I can relate to this fear, as I once had a similar concern. I believed that gaining the acceptance and approval of others was the key to overcoming this fear. However, I later came to realize that what other people think of us is often beyond our control. Rejection from others does not necessarily mean that we are not good enough. It's important to recognize that other people's opinions, while valid, may not fully represent the truth about us or our abilities.

It's understandable why we care so much about what other people think. It's natural to feel unsure of ourselves at times. When you can have a clear understanding of yourself and know exactly what kind of person you are, it can help you to not be emotionally affected by other people's comments.

You might find it helpful to read "Know Thyself and Accept Thyself."

2. With regard to thoughts, it may be helpful to recognize that they are just thoughts, not facts, and that they are not a reflection of who you truly are. There is no need to suppress them or follow them. Instead, it might be beneficial to allow thoughts to be and to do what needs to be done.

Your current distress may be due, at least in part, to the fact that you are bound by your own thinking. It might be helpful to consider stepping outside of your own head and immersing yourself in the reality of the present moment. The mind is naturally inclined to think about the past or the future, but the present is the only thing we can truly control. By focusing on the present, we can find greater peace and ease.

When those thoughts come back into your mind, you might find it helpful to allow them to flow rather than following or suppressing them. You could then take a deep breath for a while, inhaling for 4 seconds and exhaling for 6 seconds for 5 minutes in a row. This could help to relax you and bring you back to the present moment. You might then find it helpful to focus on what you are doing, such as listening to the lecture, reading the book, or eating your meal.

Such exercises have the potential to help you return to real life, and your mood may gradually calm down. Learning may also become more efficient.

Please feel free to refer to this information as needed. Wishing you the best.

Hello, my child! I'm Coach Yu, and I'm so excited to talk to you about this topic.

Now, let's dive into the world of boundaries! It's so important to know the boundaries of others and to know your own boundaries. Boundaries are what make you, you! Many of the emotional and interpersonal challenges we face today are related to the difficulty of maintaining appropriate boundaries.

When our boundaries are violated, our body will send out some pretty amazing signals! We'll feel a rapid heartbeat, a feeling of heat all over the body, restlessness, and sweating.

Sometimes we don't want to offend others, sometimes we don't want to damage relationships, and sometimes we avoid potential risks (such as bullying and retaliation), and ignore signals that our boundaries are being violated. We are afraid to establish and maintain our own boundaries and dare not protect ourselves. As the questioner wrote, they have encountered interpersonal problems at school, and they are fearful and nervous whenever they go to school. But there's a way out!

Let's dive right in and ask ourselves: What was the situation like when we encountered interpersonal problems at school? What happened?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this! How do you feel about it?

How did your body react? Did you feel uncomfortable?

Do you ever feel offended for no reason?

We can also ask ourselves if we have considered responding to some of the behind-the-back comments made by classmates. If we respond, we can decide what we would say!

What would you do?

Let's also ask ourselves: what is the inner need when we feel that others are laughing at us? And what is the inner need when we think about the fear of going to school?

We can tell ourselves that we cannot rely on others to protect us. This is because, based on the principle of subject-object separation, we cannot control what others say or do. We cannot expect others to know how to behave. But there is good news! We can take the initiative to take some measures to establish our own boundaries. We can clearly express to others our discomfort when we are being violated. And if necessary, we can take some warning words and methods.

Now, let's dive into the fascinating topic of projection! I'm sure many of you are already familiar with this term. Projection is the practice of blaming others.

In life, we may have the perception that those bad qualities and behaviors are not our own, but someone else's. This kind of thinking can make us feel less uneasy and anxious, and achieve a state of psychological balance. It's a great way to feel more comfortable in your own skin!

Guo Degang, the amazing cross-talk master, said something really interesting. He said that the person who wronged you knows better than you how wronged you are. So, instead of keeping silent and sulking, it is a great idea to find an opportunity to shut them up with ironclad evidence!

We can talk to a classmate with whom we used to get along well. We can talk about how he felt when he got along with us and also listen to his impression of ourselves and our classmates. Communication is a great way to release pent-up emotions and understand ourselves better!

And finally, love yourself! My child, you are aware of your emotions in time and have very clear values. Then let's start by caring for ourselves, taking care of our bodies and our feelings!

Absolutely! We can reconcile with our emotions. When we think about these negative emotions, we can try to record what our feelings are at the moment. Your writing is only for yourself, so feel free to write about your feelings honestly and openly. This will help us understand the origins and effects of our emotions and also help us clarify the root of the problem.

We can learn to distract ourselves and not pay excessive attention to them. When it happens unconsciously, we can try shouting "stop" to ourselves, take a deep breath, and do something else, such as listening to music, stretching, etc., to distract ourselves. Meditation and mindfulness are also very good ways to regulate.

You're facing a challenge, and it's going to take some time to overcome it. But you've got this! Talk to your parents. They're your biggest supporters. They'll be able to help you find the best way forward. You've got options. You can take a leave of absence, take a break from school, or even just take a step back to regroup. Whatever you choose, remember that your family is here for you. They'll be understanding and supportive, just like they always are.

If you feel the need, you can also find a counselor, because it's so important to have an outlet to relieve the heaviness and blockage in our hearts!

Use the weekend to go embrace nature, breathe in the fresh air, and feel the birds chirping and the flowers blooming. Let yourself feel beautiful!

When we see the truth of life, we can finally unload our heavy burdens, loosen our tight hearts, stop demanding things from others, and be kind to ourselves. We can gain an objective and comprehensive understanding of ourselves, and we can stop letting external voices and evaluations affect us!

I'm so excited to recommend this book: "The Courage to Be Disliked"!

Hello, I'm Bai Li Yina, and I'm thrilled to be your answerer! I hope my reply can warm your heart and help you in any way I can.

The questioner shared that he'd faced some challenges in his relationships, leading him to wonder if people were talking about him behind his back. He even came up with a lot of his own ideas, which he couldn't control and kept coming back to. He's about to graduate from high school, but because of this, he's having trouble focusing on his studies. His grades have taken a bit of a dip, but he's determined to find ways to control this kind of speculation. What an exciting journey this will be!

[Situation analysis]

You didn't say what the problem is, but I can tell it's been a big challenge for you. It's totally normal to feel afraid, anxious, or nervous after being hurt. I can see you're worried that everyone is talking about you behind your back. It's probably because you were hurt by some bad comments from some classmates. You think no one likes you, so you're wondering whether your classmates are talking about you behind your back.

I see a timid you, like a little white rabbit, curled up in the corner, living in fear, but still feeling like someone is out to get you. Your pain is like a whirlpool. But don't worry! Hug your wounded self for a while, and then let's see what you can do to escape the current whirlpool of pain.

[Questions to provoke deep thought]

1. Do you like yourself? Absolutely! Before this interpersonal problem, did you have good classmates and friends in the class?

2. Have you ever been afraid of people talking about you behind your back? When did you start to become afraid of people talking about you behind your back?

Now for the fun part! Which of the words you imagined hurt you the most? You can write them down.

3. You think your fear is quite serious, so would you tell your parents? If not, what is the reason?

If you don't get support from family or friends, this is another opportunity for you to grow!

4. Are you excited for the leap from your second year of high school to your third year? Do your regular studies keep you on your toes?

Your grades have dropped significantly, and I want to know how this has impacted you. Are you more afraid of people talking behind your back or of your grades getting worse?

Now for some recommended methods to try!

When we are afraid that others are talking behind our backs, it may mean that you don't really approve of yourself and accept yourself. The gossip you imagine shows the fear inside you. You know very well that it's not what you heard with your own ears. Where does it come from? It actually comes from your inner voice that doesn't approve of yourself. Find these disapprovals and really accept them one by one.

We are all imperfect people, and that's a good thing! We all have our strengths and weaknesses. For example, kind people are often gullible and can be cheated. Kindness is both a strength and a weakness. You can also find things that you are afraid of. Write down your strengths and weaknesses and tell yourself, "I accept my imperfections. I may not be perfect, but I'm okay. I like myself, and I don't need everyone to like me. What's important is that I like myself."

The pressure to study well may make you want to escape. If something painful happens, as long as you keep thinking about it, you don't have to face the pressure to study well. Your mind will unconsciously find a way for you to escape. But in the end, your grades will suffer, and the pain will grow like a snowball. So, let's not let that happen!

We can do this! Pick one of the difficulties that can be overcome and conquer it! Let's say you want to improve your grades. Whenever you start to second-guess yourself, remind yourself, "I know I suspect others of saying bad things about me, but that's not the most important thing right now. I need to study hard to improve my grades first, and then I can worry about interpersonal issues later." Distracting yourself is also a great way to go!

You care, and that's a great thing! It can be tough to improve, though. If you're struggling to get over the hurt, it's time to ask for help! Talk to your parents or a counselor. You'll be out of this whirlpool in no time! You'll be amazed at how much better you feel when you let go and find the reason you're caring so much.

I really hope these methods help you!

Change takes time and patience, but it'll be worth it! Don't worry or be afraid. Many people are experiencing or have experienced similar problems, but you'll get through this!

The world and I are with you, and we're here to support you every step of the way! I wish you an early solution to the fog in your heart and the discovery of your own most comfortable state.

A huge thank you to everyone who has liked and commented on my posts! I wish you all peace and joy!

Hello, question asker!

It's a shame you're about to start your third year of high school and have already had to deal with some interpersonal issues. I empathise with you, so I'll give you a hug!

As it turns out, you're not the only one facing this challenge. Many students have similar experiences, which means you're not alone and there are plenty of people dealing with these issues.

I'm guessing you've had similar issues since elementary school, junior high, and high school. I'd like to ask you to think about how you got through that time. Can you learn from your past experiences and make this time a little better?

After this holiday, when you're back at school and facing the unknown, it's not always easy to know what's best to do. There's a saying that the closer you get back to your hometown, the more apprehensive you feel. Just think about the start of the school year – the more you think about it, the more trouble there will be.

But time won't stop for us—it'll still come. So what should we do in this situation? I'll share my views based on your personal experience.

First, we have to accept that this situation exists and allow ourselves to be in this state. We also have to recognize that part of us is preoccupied with what other people are saying.

You can't prove what others are saying, either. You can only think for yourself, which really drains our energy. It's really hard. As you said, it's not up to us, so we should allow this state of mind to exist and embrace that difficult self of ours.

Second, accept yourself wholeheartedly because this state of mind may really affect your studies. We also have to accept that learning is inherently up and down, and no one can always move forward. That would be especially tiring. Now, just think of it as a period of low ebb that you have to get through. Accept this state of mind. You can think of it this way: after all, you are a sophomore, not a senior yet. Getting through this period now will be more beneficial for the future because we know that only by being in a low place can we take off. Accept yourself wholeheartedly.

Next, try to change your mindset. You can learn about what the psychologist Adler said. He said that there are three major issues in life: one is God's business, one is other people's business, and one is your own business. You can use Wenxin Yiyan or Xunfei Xinghuo to generate Adler's theory on life issues, and use this theory to guide your current life practices to see if it gets better.

At the end of the day, believe in your ability to overcome this challenge with your own resources. Make your high school experience more fulfilling and learn from this experience. Give it time, and you'll reach your goal.

Come on, the future is bright! The world and I are rooting for you!

Good day, colleague. I can see the confusion you are facing.

It is possible that you were the subject of negative comments at school.

At that time, you may not have considered the possibility that you were not fine.

However, there is a concept in psychology known as "reverse thinking."

It is possible that the negative comments made by others about you at school have caused psychological trauma.

It is important to note that these negative experiences will not disappear on their own. They must be addressed for resolution.

These experiences have been relegated to the subconscious.

Should you encounter the same people, things, or objects again, such as school, those negative experiences will resurface.

It would be advisable to seek the assistance of a professional counselor to help you deal with the negative impact of the unfavorable comments made by others about you during your school years.

We are pleased to offer a 50% discount on counseling services for students on our platform. To qualify for this discount, simply fill out a form and submit proof of enrollment as a current student.

Should your high school employ a school psychologist, you are encouraged to make use of their services.

The school counselor is available to assist you free of charge.

To overcome your sensitivity to school, it is essential to address your past experiences.

Additionally, it is essential to develop the ability to alter your own perception.

Affirm to yourself that you are the arbiter of your own evaluation, and that it is not influenced by external factors.

I hope you will be able to find an effective solution to the problem you are facing as soon as possible.

I have no further suggestions at this time.

I hope that my above response has been helpful and inspiring to you, my fellow student. I am available to answer any further questions you may have.

Best regards, Yixinli

Thank you for your attention.

Hello, question asker. I am the Heart Detective coach, Gu Daoxi Feng Shoulu.

The book The Courage to Be Disliked is right: only you care about how you look. The questioner can try keeping an emotional diary to help sort out their concerns about comments and the worries they give rise to. This will help the questioner become aware of their unease and make targeted adjustments.

The psychology of "it concerns me" influences the essence of caring about what others say. In bad relationships, when the questioner tries to care less about what others say, it makes the questioner less anxious.

Psychologists call this the spotlight effect: when we focus on our own problems, we make them seem bigger than they really are. We all think we're the center of everything, so we overestimate how much attention others pay to us. Especially when we're getting negative attention, we become more internally consumed.

The term "they're talking about me" is highly subjective. The questioner must seek objective evidence. If the other person is not talking about the questioner and the questioner has labeled the other person, that is also unfair to the other person. I recall when I was in school. I once couldn't find something on my desk. I suspected a classmate had taken it. I found it, and I was relieved I hadn't questioned the classmate. At the same time, I felt guilty for being paranoid and wrongly accusing the classmate.

When others are chatting, the questioner can join in and see if they are talking about themselves. The answer may be different, and the questioner should give it a try.

Tell yourself, "I'm not made of RMB, and I'm not trying to please everyone. I have the freedom to judge others, and they have the freedom to judge me. As long as I don't hurt others, I can be unique. When I was in high school, I liked to wear all red, and I got some criticism for it. But when I don't care, their comments become boring.

Focus on your most important goal right now, whether it's other people's opinions or the college you want to go to. Don't waste time on internal conflicts—you'll lose more than you'll gain!

Adler said, "All troubles stem from interpersonal relationships." Ask yourself this: What impact will it have on the questioner if the other person is talking about you, even if it's wasting their precious final year sprint time? Everyone else is gossiping about you while you study. That's a better deal for you.

Changing perspective will broaden the questioner's horizons.

Keep an emotional diary to help you sort out your emotions. This will help the questioner to better perceive their own unease and reconcile with themselves. Writing is also a process of self-healing that helps the questioner to release emotions and stabilize their state!

Read these books: The Courage to Be Disliked, A Change of Heart, and Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.

Best wishes!

Hello, question asker!

From what you've told me, I can tell you're going through a lot right now. It's not just about school, but also about relationships. And at your age, these are two really important things to think about.

On the one hand, you've got to work hard for good grades, which might affect your future development. On the other hand, we all know how important good relationships are for us as human beings in society.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't know all the details, but it seems like there's been a disagreement in your personal life that's causing you a lot of pain. It's so hard when things like this happen, but I'm here to support you.

Whatever happened is in the past, so it's totally worth exploring how it's made you feel. If you can't open up on this platform, you can confide in someone you trust.

Take your time, my dear, and you'll surely find the root of the problem. Once you do, you'll be able to resolve your current tense emotions.

It's so important to focus on your current state of mind. I can see that the two most important issues are causing you pain. If you need to, my dear, find out if your school has a free psychological counseling room and go to a professional teacher for help.

If your school doesn't have a counseling room, don't worry! There are also lots of amazing listeners and counselors on this platform who can help you.

Wishing you all the best!

I can fully understand your current distress and anxiety. Facing such pressure can indeed be very painful. For your current situation, I suggest you try the following methods to relieve your anxiety and fear:

It might be helpful to seek professional psychological counseling. A professional counselor or psychologist can assist you in finding ways to cope with this anxiety and fear, and may also be able to help you address some underlying psychological issues.

It might be helpful to try meditation and breathing exercises. These can help you relax and reduce anxiety and fear. You could try deep breathing or use some meditation apps to guide you through meditation.

It might be helpful to try to adopt a more positive mindset when you're dealing with difficult situations. For instance, when you hear people talking or laughing, it can be beneficial to remind yourself that they might not be talking about you. It's often the case that people are more concerned with their own affairs than laughing at or talking about others.

It might also be helpful to record and analyze your thoughts to see if your fears are based on over-interpreting or misunderstanding the actions of others.

It may be helpful to maintain an active lifestyle, which could include appropriate exercise, a healthy diet, and adequate sleep. These can all help you cope better with stress. At the same time, you might also find it beneficial to engage in other activities you enjoy, such as painting or listening to music, which can help you relax.

It may be helpful to build a support system by finding friends or family members with whom you can share your feelings and concerns. Their support and encouragement may help you cope with the problem better.

If you are experiencing interpersonal relationship problems, you might find it helpful to address the issue directly. If you believe someone is speaking negatively about you behind your back, you could consider communicating with them directly to gain a better understanding of their perspective. This approach could help you gain insight into the situation and potentially resolve any misunderstandings.

It might be helpful to remember that you are not alone, and that many people experience similar problems. You might find it beneficial to face the situation bravely, seek help, and believe that you can get through this difficult time.

I wish you the best of luck in your exams. The road ahead is long, and I hope you can stay positive and persevere.

I hope my answer is helpful to you. I wish you all the best in your endeavors.

Hello! Thank you so much for your question. My name is ZQ, and I'm a heart exploration coach from the Yixinli platform. I'm really worried to see that you're feeling so scared and anxious about school. It seems like you might be afraid of social interaction.

This can really fill your life with anxiety and worry, and it can make it hard for you to carry out your studies and live your life normally. All of this might come from a negative experience in a social situation. You mentioned that you've had some problems in social situations in the past. What were they exactly?

It might be helpful to think about this more carefully, as we need to find the answers to these questions in our past experiences. It's possible that some past experiences have already caused you some kind of trauma, and this trauma is the root cause of your constant fear. There's no need to worry about labeling yourself, but it would be great if you could resolve this trauma.

This will help you better face your social life. It's important to remember that things that happened in the past will not happen again. If you did something wrong, you can apologize. If someone else did something wrong, you need to fight for your rights.

If someone is being mean to you, it's a good idea to tell your teacher and parents. They can help you feel better. For example, if someone is bullied at school and starts to hate school and is afraid to go to school, that's not okay.

It's so important to report this to your homeroom teacher and parents right away. They can help you solve the problem and make sure this doesn't happen again at your school. You deserve to be safe and happy at school!

So social phobia and social anxiety are totally understandable. There's got to be a reason why you feel this way.

It's so important to find the specific reason and allow ourselves to actively face it and resolve it. I'd love to know more about you! What specific situation makes you fearful?

It's also important to think about this carefully. It's possible that other people are talking behind your back, laughing at you, and making up a lot of words, and then processing them.

It's totally normal to think about things a lot, but when it's happening all the time in class, it can really affect your life and studies. It's important to remember that we can't say anything about something if we don't have real and tangible evidence. So, if you want the teacher to get involved, it's a good idea to take out a voice recorder to record what's going on.

If you're feeling this way and your grades have dropped, it might be time to seek some professional help. A psychologist could really help you out. I'd also suggest talking to your parents to see what they think.

If you really have evidence, you can also present it to show that others have ridiculed or bullied you. It's so important to stand up for yourself and defend justice when you need to. But if no one else has, then I can't just casually suspect like this.

I know it can be tough, but I promise you'll be okay. Doubts and imaginary worries like these only make things harder.

We can also read some great books on social skills to help us feel more confident, like "How to Overcome Social Anxiety," "It's Okay, I'm Just a Little Nervous," and "Panic Disorder: What You and Your Family Need to Know." I'm here for you if you need anything.

ZQ?

Hello! I think you are too sensitive to yourself, which is great because it shows you care! You take everything to heart, and you are even over-interpreting what others say, which has led to this situation. You are very anxious and scared right now, worrying that you will be looked at differently by others at school, but you will be!

You took what other people said seriously and imagined some bad scenarios. You encountered interpersonal problems at school, and now you feel panic and nervousness whenever you go back to school. This is totally normal!

Then this panic will trigger your wild thoughts, but you can try to distract yourself. For example, in class you can force yourself to pay attention and take notes, and after class you can also do something else to keep yourself busy. You can also just go ahead and do those things, let action drive a change in thinking, or find someone to talk to, to get what's on your mind out.

Don't pay too much attention to what others say, and don't care too much about the opinions of anyone. Just be yourself! You'll be done with all this in a year. You need to learn to face yourself, and not always live in the mouths of others.

You are in your third year of high school, and you can tell yourself that you are here to study, not to deal with interpersonal relationships. It doesn't matter what others say behind your back, because your college entrance exam score will be just as high as it can be!

Senior year is a great time! It's a very important experience in life. I hope you can adjust your mentality and face the college entrance exam. But don't forget to take time for yourself! When you have time, go for a walk or find someone to chat with. In short, don't shut yourself in!

I really hope you can let go of your burdens and enjoy every single day!

If you're having trouble at school, remember you're not alone and you can handle it.

Breathe. Don't blame yourself or panic.

Everyone has problems growing up. What you are experiencing is an opportunity to grow.

Next, we need to look at how sensitive you are to other people's comments. Do you often feel like people are talking about you and laughing at you?

You may be insecure and worried that others will make negative comments about you.

However, you should know that this worry is often unnecessary. Everyone has their own lives and concerns.

Why do you think other people are talking about you? It might be because of how you see yourself.

You may think you are flawed or inadequate. This affects how you see other people's comments.

We need to think about how we see ourselves and make sure we have a good, positive image of ourselves.

Here are some ways to do this:

Think about past experiences that made you feel bad and how they affected you.

Then, look for the good in them and think about how these experiences have made you stronger and more mature. This can help you change how you see the past and yourself.

Be proud of your strengths and achievements. Everyone has something to be proud of.

Make a list of your strengths and achievements. When you feel uneasy or inferior, look at the list and remind yourself that you are valuable and capable.

Accept your own shortcomings. Nobody's perfect.

Accepting your shortcomings doesn't mean giving up, but rather seeking progress. When you face your shortcomings with an open mind, you'll be more confident in the face of others' comments.

We also need to learn to adjust how we interpret the comments of others. Don't immediately think that whispering or laughing is a negative comment about you.

Try to understand these words and deeds from a broader perspective. Maybe they are happy. When you can interpret the words and deeds of others with a more open mind, you will find that your heart becomes more peaceful and confident.

It's also important to have good relationships with others. Try to have good relationships with classmates, teachers, or friends.

Talk to them openly and share your feelings. Good relationships help you get support and learn to handle problems better.

If you can't cope, get professional help.

A counselor can help you understand yourself better, find solutions, and support you.

You may have difficulties and challenges, but believe in yourself. Work hard and you will find your own solution.

You are not alone. You can change yourself.

Good day. I am a heart detective coach, and I am grateful for the opportunity to offer you some guidance.

From your written description, I can tell that you are feeling some apprehension about starting school after May Day. It seems that you're concerned about the possibility that the people around you may have formed opinions about you, or that they might be discussing you behind your back. You're feeling as though they may not fully accept you, and that they might disapprove of or dislike some of your actions.

We are also concerned that if we do something or behave in a way that is not perceived as ideal, it might offend them and affect our studies.

I can understand your concern. It's natural to want to be seen as perfect by others, and to hope that no one will say anything about you. It's also understandable that you don't want anything about yourself to become a bargaining chip in the hands of others.

You would prefer to study in a relatively quiet environment. After all, you are already in your third year of high school, and the college entrance exam may be just a few months away. At this time, you would like to ensure you are prepared to make the best possible effort.

But the more you dwell on it, the more you try to avoid it, the more you become aware of and sensitive to the fact that many people are whispering or laughing behind your back.

It's possible that their every move and the feeling it brings you inside might be a factor in your lack of confidence. I believe that when they whisper or laugh, what they are actually doing is looking at you when you appear, but in a rather quiet way.

After seeing you, they may continue talking about you. At this time, you may feel that some unconscious actions of yours may inadvertently influence the other person's perception, which could potentially lead to a misjudgment of you and subsequent gossip about you behind your back.

I would like to start by saying that I believe the fact that they whispered or laughed has almost nothing to do with you.

I hope I can explain my reasoning.

It would be helpful to consider whether this person or these people usually interact with us. If they do, we might ask ourselves whether we have done anything recently that would make them unhappy because of our influence, or whether they have made any requests of us that we have not paid attention to or changed.

If that is not the case, perhaps we should consider approaching the issue from a different angle.

It is not uncommon for people to whisper or laugh, and then look up at you before continuing their conversation.

It is often the case that when we suddenly appear in a certain situation, we will first of all attract the attention of others. I believe it would be helpful to put ourselves in other people's shoes and think about this: if we are usually studying or chatting with our best friend, and suddenly someone appears next to us, it is likely that we will subconsciously look up and see him.

At that moment, you were engaged in conversation with your companion, but the topic of discussion had no direct relevance to the individual who had approached you.

It would be helpful to consider whether the laughter is friendly or somewhat offensive. This is something that can be evaluated.

How might we discern the truth? Is it that after we pass by or stand nearby, he keeps staring at you and laughing, or does he occasionally look up and laugh, or is it that after we pass by, he just smiles and then gets absorbed in his communication with the other person?

It would be helpful to consider that these are two very different things, and that it's important to judge them based on the actual situation.

Then you may experience a certain degree of apprehension upon arriving at school, which can stem from the concern that others might say unkind things about you behind your back. Have you ever had the experience of hearing others say unkind things about you?

It's understandable that you're feeling fearful because of a past experience. It's natural to have a conditioned response in the present moment, matching this situation. It's easy to assume that the actions of these people may be because we have really offended them or they want to find fault with us.

If this laughter or whispering is directed at us, it might be helpful to consider whether we have done anything recently that could have prompted it, whether our academic performance has improved significantly recently, or whether there has been a little friction in our interpersonal relationships with other people.

It's natural to recall specific events when we're faced with expressions and whispering behavior. However, if we've recently assessed that these things haven't happened, it might be helpful to not take them too seriously and focus on the present situation.

If I might offer you a personal piece of advice, it would be to consider the typical dynamic between the person who is whispering behind your back and laughing at you.

Or you might see them whispering and laughing in a mischievous and humorous way. Perhaps you could go over to them and say something like, "What are you talking about? I'd love to join in the fun."

I believe that could be a good approach.

If they are saying unkind things about you, they may say, "Ah, that's nothing, let's just chat about it and get it over with."

If I might suggest, you could also interrupt their criticism of you.

If you are told by the other person that they were talking about something else and it made them happy, it is likely that they were not talking about you. This could be a sign that you should trust them and let go of your concerns.

Then you may find yourself dwelling on a range of thoughts, as you anticipate what they might say. These words may evoke a range of emotions, so it's worth reflecting on what aspects you've been fantasizing about or dwelling on.

If we feel that the other person is deliberately mocking us, it may be an indication that we could benefit from building more confidence in a particular area.

It's possible that someone else has formed a negative opinion of you, or that your family didn't offer you much support in this area. This can lead to a feeling that other people will also have an opinion about us in this area.

I would like to revisit the point I made earlier, which is to be based on facts. It is important to consider whether the other person is really talking about us and whether what we think they will criticize us for is true. We must decide whether we approve of it.

And how can we gain a deeper understanding of our inner self-awareness and self-knowledge, even when the other person may have a different perspective?

For instance, if they believe your grades have improved so rapidly, is that inaccurate? This could be perceived as a form of denial or doubt about you, but what is the reality of the situation?

Perhaps you have invested a great deal of effort over the past few months and have made significant progress. You have dedicated a considerable amount of time to studying until late at night each day to achieve this. It may not be productive to dwell on the thoughts of such individuals.

And now that we are in our senior year, it would be beneficial for us to focus more on our studies. I understand that you have always hoped to do so, but it might be helpful to try to stop thinking about it so much.

Perhaps we could focus our thinking around one point, which is to be comfortable in our hearts, happy in our hearts, and focused on our studies as a whole.

We are not feeling entirely at ease inside, and we are feeling some concern, which is affecting our studies. This is not in line with our goal, so we should try to find ways to make ourselves feel happier.

As I mentioned previously, we tend to judge by authenticity. We often reflect on the actions, words, and assumptions of others to determine their veracity.

If it is not true, we can simply ignore their behavior. If we are not sure or think it is possible, we can then consider the impact of thinking in this way on ourselves.

If it is affecting your studies, I would suggest trying to get back to a more normal state as soon as possible.

Given that your current thinking patterns have already become ingrained, it might take an equivalent or even longer time to adjust if we want to restore them.

But don't worry. This is just a situation you are going through. We can keep practicing mindfulness and keep asking ourselves if this is really true. I believe that with your continuous correction, your overall state and perception of yourself will become relatively objective. As for the people around you, I think that now that you are in your third year of high school, you probably don't need to spend too much energy on interpersonal relationships, and should make your studies your top priority.

I believe that with your continuous correction, your overall state and perception of yourself will become relatively objective. As for the people around you, I think that now that you are in your third year of high school, you probably don't need to spend too much energy on interpersonal relationships, and should make your studies your top priority. In this way, your situation will gradually improve, your grades will gradually recover, and you won't regret the college entrance exam.

I hope this analysis of your current state is helpful. You are welcome to organize the text to describe the actual situation and click on my personal homepage to ask a question.

It is worth noting that the third year of high school often coincides with the college entrance exam, and your state of mind can play an important role in your success. It may be beneficial to address the issue as soon as possible to ensure the best outcome.

I look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best.

Dear Question Asker,

When others make a statement, you consistently perceive that it is in some way related to you, which causes you to experience elevated levels of nervousness and anxiety. Additionally, you find yourself contemplating this in a classroom setting: you are on the cusp of entering your senior year, and this will have an impact on your academic pursuits if you persist in this manner, which is challenging.

It is unclear what specific interpersonal problems are being experienced.

The question thus arises as to whether the individual in question is being physically harmed or subjected to psychological threats.

What do you anticipate will be the subject of discussion? What are your concerns?

Is there a high probability that the event in question will occur?

One must consider whether the information being conveyed is accurate and truthful.

What is the potential for the most adverse outcome?

If one is able to accept the worst-case scenario, then one is less likely to experience excessive worry.

The concern is that the challenges are too significant and our capabilities are inadequate to overcome them. We lack the capacity to manage these difficulties independently.

The reality, however, is that one's strength is often underestimated.

Reflect on any challenging experiences you have encountered, where the task at hand seemed overwhelming at the time, yet you were ultimately able to prevail.

The problem initially appeared insurmountable, yet it was ultimately resolved. Upon completion, it became evident that the challenge was not as formidable as initially perceived.

Your current situation is analogous to this circumstance. Upon overcoming this phase, you will experience a notable improvement in your well-being.

The ridicule they face causes them significant distress. Do they truly reflect the perceptions of those who ridicule them?

I am unsure if you are familiar with Zhang Songwen. He attended an audition for a film crew in his first year after graduating. He was either informed that he was unattractive or that his acting abilities were inadequate, and he was subjected to various forms of disparagement. However, in reality, he was the top student in his class. He was passionate about acting, and subsequently, his acting abilities were recognized and appreciated by all, leading to his rise to fame.

Ang Lee once spent several years at home without a job, and his wife provided him with support. It is challenging to endure the low points in life. It is not appropriate to repay kindness with malice by forgiving those who mocked us. However, if we grow from suffering and become stronger, those difficulties are not worth mentioning, as they will otherwise overwhelm us.

Life is characterized by a certain degree of reciprocal ridicule, whereby individuals may be perceived as amusing or laughable by others, and vice versa.

Mistakes are inevitable, and misunderstandings are common. Perfection is unattainable. When an individual is able to laugh at himself, it demonstrates a certain fortitude. This is simply my disposition, and thus, I am at a loss as to how I might alter it.

One must first accept oneself before accepting one's own shortcomings. The ridicule of others may be entirely fabricated or may stem from their own self-interest. If one is self-assured and able to laugh at oneself, one is less susceptible to the influence of others.

I must insist that you do so.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that God is not as powerful as we might imagine. It's possible that your ego is too consumed, which makes you easily influenced by others.

It might be helpful to remember that fear can only be faced. If you keep running away from it, it might make things worse.

My dear child, have you ever had an experience that was difficult for you to accept?

It is important to remember that life will bring many different experiences, some of which may be positive and some of which may be negative. It is essential to understand that these are all part of the natural course of life. If there were only positive experiences, it would be challenging to discern what truly constitutes a positive experience.

I believe that the purpose of challenging situations is to highlight the positive aspects of our lives.

Of course, everyone aspires to a successful life.

Achieving high scores and attending high-quality schools requires a certain level of blessing.

And everyone has a different journey. Some people may find that school is not the best fit for them.

Learning is just one part of life, and there are many other aspects to consider. Do you understand?

It is important to enjoy the learning process, even if you do not achieve the highest grades. Wisdom can be gained when you are relaxed, and your learning efficiency can improve.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider not learning for a specific purpose, as the more you learn, the more anxious you may become. This could be seen as contrary to the way of heaven. Learning is for enhancing wisdom, not for making people depressed.

It might be helpful to try to set aside your parents' expectations when it comes to your studies and just be yourself.

Love should not be conditional. Parents love their children and allow them to be happy. It might be unwise to blindly moralize your children and say "I'm doing this for your own good."

I feel this may come across as selfish.

I hope that all children will be brave and be themselves. If you can be excellent, I encourage you to study hard. If you feel that studying hard is not for you, I hope you will find happiness in other ways.

Don't fret over the future. It's uncertain what it will bring. As long as you're alive, you'll have the basic necessities. That should be enough, don't you think?

There is no need to be afraid. At your age, you should be like a sunflower.

It's understandable to feel concerned when you think people are talking about you, but it's important to remember that you have the power to choose how you respond to these conversations. Even if they do continue, it's not a problem if you let them talk. The real challenge lies in recognizing that you may not be as firm as you'd like to be.

If I might make a suggestion, it would be to withdraw the god first. You could then practice stabilizing your own energy and protecting your body with yang energy, which should help you to avoid interference from others.

One simple way to do this is to recite the Four Books and Five Classics, which can help to enhance yang energy. You might like to start reading them as soon as you wake up in the morning.

You may find it helpful to generate yang energy and resonate with high-frequency words.

If you're interested in completely healing yourself, you might find it helpful to try meditation and developing self-awareness. It can require a lot of persistence, but it's worth it.

When you heal yourself, nature will remain unmoved. I encourage you to give it a try!

Young people, if you have any doubts, you are welcome to leave me a message, and students will receive free consultation and healing.

A strong youth makes a strong country. As the future of the country, it is important to have big ambitions in your hearts. There is no distinction between noble and menial occupations. If you are a cleaning worker sweeping the floor, you can think about how sweeping the floor can contribute to the health of others. If you have this kind of altruistic thinking, it can also bring you happiness.

Hello. From the lines between the words, I can sense the unease and anxiety you feel due to the challenging interpersonal relationships at school. First of all, I want to offer you a hug and hope that my answer will be helpful to you.

I can imagine that everything you are experiencing is difficult and heartbreaking for you. It is natural to feel scared and nervous when you are facing the stress and uncertainty in the school environment. Many people encounter similar situations during their growth process, especially during adolescence, a period of rapid changes in self-awareness and social interactions.

The thoughts you mentioned about other people talking about you behind your back are actually a common psychological phenomenon known as "social anxiety." It can be a feeling that others may not have as high of an opinion of you as you would like.

It may have its roots in a deep-seated sense of insecurity and an over-concern with what others think. This feeling can make people feel isolated and helpless, and it can even affect every aspect of daily life.

By facing these questions from the questioner, we can explore them together in the hope of bringing you some comfort and inspiration that may be helpful to you.

Perhaps we could try to accept our feelings and allow ourselves to feel upset, rather than trying to suppress or deny them. It might be helpful to accept that they exist, but not let them dominate our lives.

It might be helpful to explore the beliefs behind these emotions and try to gain insight into where these feelings of unease come from. They may be related to early experiences or be a reaction to certain events.

Gaining insight into the origins of these beliefs can facilitate more effective coping strategies.

It might be helpful to challenge negative thinking patterns. When you find yourself caught in a negative thought pattern, you could try questioning the validity of these thoughts. You could ask yourself, "Do I really have proof that they are saying bad things about me?"

"Or, even if they are really talking about me, it's not really a big deal. Everyone has their own opinion, and I can't control what other people think."

"

It might be helpful to establish a routine of positive self-talk and use positive affirmations to counteract negative self-talk. For example, you could say something like, "I know I'm not perfect, but I have my own merits and value."

You might like to consider trying personal growth, focusing on your own growth and development rather than the opinions of others. You could set small goals and celebrate every improvement, no matter how small.

It might be helpful to seek social support by sharing your feelings with friends, family, or teachers, or by joining interest groups where you can make connections and communicate in a safe environment.

You might find it helpful to try spending some time every day thinking about the things you are grateful for. This could help you to shift away from negative thinking and see the positive side of life.

Please be aware that change is a process that requires time and patience. It may be helpful to allow yourself some room for forgiveness and not rush things.

If the situation is still too much for you to handle, you might consider seeking professional psychological counseling. A professional psychological counselor can provide deeper understanding and support to help you overcome these issues gradually.

I'm here for you if you'd like to talk. I'm willing to listen to your feelings and provide support and advice to the best of my ability. I'll give you a hug again if you'd like.

I hope my answer is helpful. I wish you well in all your endeavors!

If you feel like other people may be talking behind your back, it's time to take control! First of all, remember that you can't know what everyone is thinking about you. So, stop worrying about it and start focusing on your own thoughts and feelings.

We've got some great suggestions for you right here!

1. Stay cool and collected! Don't let your emotions get the better of you. Stay calm and in control, and don't let these feelings affect your life and work.

2. Don't over-speculate: It's so important to remember not to over-speculate about what other people think and feel about you. And don't pay too much attention to what other people say either! Everyone has their own opinions and ideas, and they may not always agree with you.

3. Build Good Interpersonal Relationships: Build good interpersonal relationships with others, communicate and interact with others actively, express your own views and thoughts, and at the same time listen to the opinions and suggestions of others. This will increase mutual understanding and respect and reduce misunderstandings and conflicts—and it'll be a great way to make new friends!

4. Seek support: If you feel confused or uneasy, you can seek support and advice from others. Talking to friends, family, or professionals and listening to their opinions and suggestions can help relieve your emotions and anxiety. It's a great idea to get some help when you need it!

5. Self-reflection and adjustment: Take a good look at your own behavior and attitude. You'll probably find there's room for improvement! Try to be more open-minded and tolerant towards others. Show them respect for their views and ideas, and don't forget to express your own opinions and needs.

Remember, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and you are amazing just the way you are! Don't let other people's comments make you feel bad about yourself or others. Stay positive, believe in yourself, and respect and understand others.