What should I do if I fail the exam and my parents beat me up as I'm about to enter senior high school?

Hello, dear question asker! I'm sending you a big, warm hug from afar to comfort you.

My dear friend, I can sense your nervousness and pressure when reading your question. I'm truly sorry to hear that you're still facing challenges in your family. It's never too late to seek help and support. You deserve love and care, and I'm here to offer a comforting hug.

I can tell from your question that you're feeling pretty down. It seems like you feel like your parents don't respect, trust, or love you. You feel helpless, lonely, and powerless. You're also feeling a lot of negative emotions, like sadness, unhappiness, disappointment, pain, inferiority, helplessness, powerlessness, and resignation. All these negative emotions together can really overwhelm you. You might even start to doubt yourself and wonder if your parents really love you.

Could it be that you're just not a natural study type? I'm sure your parents love you, and I bet they'd never have hired a tutor if they didn't care about your grades.

You can talk to your tutor or school teacher about why your grades aren't improving. Is it across all subjects, or just math? It's important to figure out what's going on so you can get back on track.

I wish you the best of luck, my dear questioner! The world and I love you!

Hello, host!

Reading your description really breaks my heart. It seems like your parents aren't really concerned about why you haven't met their expectations. They also don't seem to believe that you're trying your best. This is going to make it hard for you to communicate with them. I feel really bad for you, and I want to give you a hug.

I think the real question of "what to do" should be addressed to your parents. They love you and think that their physical violence is strict discipline and is for your own good. They don't realize that their actions are actually helping them avoid their goal—the more they do this to you, the more they will prevent you from achieving the goals they have set for you.

They don't realize that the more they push you and the harder they hit you, the more you will resist. It's because they have this deep-seated belief that the reason you haven't achieved your goals is that you haven't tried hard enough.

I think there's a bit of a problem with parents thinking that if you work hard enough, you'll definitely achieve your goal. It's not quite that simple! Sometimes you might not achieve your goal, even if you've worked hard, because other factors are at play.

I'm not saying this causal relationship is definitely invalid, but if this is the only causal relationship between "achieving goals and causes," then with all due respect, they might be wrong. For example, we should at least see if the method of effort is correct, right? If you drive the wrong way on the highway, doesn't it mean that the harder you step on the accelerator, the faster you speed up and the farther away you are from where you want to go?

Learning is a complex mental activity, and there are many reasons that can lead to poor academic performance. Some of these reasons are external, like whether the teacher's teaching style matches your learning style, whether the teaching pace and difficulty level are suitable for your learning rhythm, whether the learning environment is conducive to concentration, and whether you get along well with your classmates and teachers. There are also many internal reasons, like your natural aptitude and preferences for different subjects (some subjects come more naturally to you than others), whether you can concentrate when studying, whether you like to learn and enjoy studying, whether you are emotionally stable and calm, whether your thinking development level matches the difficulty of the subject, whether you can manage your time and energy for studying, and whether you can monitor and regulate your own learning.

Effort is a great way to show your determination to learn when you're facing challenges. It's just one of many factors that contribute to academic performance, but it's an important one!

It would be really helpful for you to figure out what you don't understand about the part of the exam that was deducted, and what the cause is. It seems like you didn't really understand when the teacher was talking, so when you encounter a question you haven't done before, you can't apply the relevant knowledge.

If that's the case, it'd be great to understand why you're having trouble understanding the teacher's lectures. Is it because you haven't had a chance to master some relevant knowledge in the past, which has made it tricky to learn the current knowledge?

If that's the case, it might be a good idea to take a quick break and catch up on some of the previous knowledge. Then, you can go back and really focus on understanding the exam material.

Or, do you understand what the teacher is saying, but lose marks because you haven't practiced enough with these types of questions and are unfamiliar with them? If so, don't worry! You can do more targeted training in this area.

It's also worth asking yourself if there are any other factors that might be affecting your performance. For example, are you feeling too tired, stressed, or down in the dumps to think clearly? If so, it's time to start taking care of yourself!

It's also pretty normal to feel anxious before a test. You might be able to do the exercises without feeling nervous, but when it comes to the test, that anxiety can really get in the way of your performance. If that's what's going on, it's time to do some anxiety relief training! I truly believe that this is the only way you'll be able to improve your grades.

When your parents hit you, they don't realize it. They don't listen to you, don't understand your struggles, and don't believe you've tried your best. They use physical violence to suppress you, thinking that if you're afraid, you'll work harder. This makes it hard for you to concentrate on learning because you're consumed by fear.

Learning is a pretty complex mental activity, and our mental energy and mental space are both limited (you can think of it as brain power and the space in your brain to hold things are both limited). Emotions like fear, anxiety, sadness, etc., when they're aroused, or when you're in a persistent low mood, are like a Trojan horse program that constantly occupies memory and the CPU. They will inevitably and silently continue to consume your already limited brain power and thinking, memory space, and distract your attention because you cannot contain it and cannot perceive it. The energy is constantly being used to self-monitor in order to try not to make mistakes and not to be scolded by your parents—because avoiding harm and danger is the first need of us humans!

So, when there's no danger, we can all enjoy a few emotional highs and lows, freeing up our brains to focus on learning. Let's take our parents as an example. If they're eating but suddenly realise a hungry tiger is staring at them as prey, what would you do?

It's only natural that fear would make their hunger disappear instantly. All their energy would be used to run for cover, so it's understandable that they wouldn't think about eating.

It's the same with learning. If you're always afraid of failing the exam and being beaten by your parents, your body will always be in a state of high tension and alertness. Compared with other people, your learning process is like a computer running multiple tasks in multiple threads. While learning, you have to monitor yourself to see if you'll make mistakes, fail the exam, or get beaten. It's a lot to think about! How much ability do you think you have to focus, listen, understand, and remember the content efficiently? How can you possibly master the knowledge you've learned and use it freely? Your attention is on "striving not to be beaten by your parents"! It's a lot to handle.

On top of that, we have to think about whether the goal is realistic. If I asked your parents to become one of China's top mathematicians in three years, do you think they could do it?

I'm not sure what the parents' expectations are, even if they say they're "low." I'd love to know what the basis for these expectations is. What do they know about the gap between what you can achieve at the moment and what they want you to achieve?

I'm sure they're being optimistic, but it's still a lot to achieve in a month. And if you don't achieve it, they might say you're just being lazy, which is unfair.

It's important to remember that achieving a goal takes a certain level of ability. And while hard work is always a good start, it's not always the whole story. We all have different paths to follow and different levels of ability to reach. So, it's not as simple as saying, "If others can do it, you can do it too."

If it takes six months of hard work to match your current ability level with the level required to achieve your goal, but your parents demand that you achieve it in one month, then no matter how "low" the requirement is in your parents' eyes, it is still an unreasonable demand. It's so important to adjust goals according to one's own situation. This is the only way to truly move towards higher goals at a pace that is comfortable for you.

As I write this, I give you another big hug, my dear.

I think it would be really helpful for you to tell your parents what I've said here. They might not realise that they're going about things the wrong way. You could ask someone your parents respect or a teacher you trust to have a chat with them. It would also be great if they did some courses on homeschooling (there are lots online) to learn more about how children learn and what parents can do to help. That way, they can make some big changes to your situation.

As for what you can do for yourself, you should definitely seek help from your teachers for the difficulties you encounter in your studies. They're there to help you! Find out where your weaknesses lie and what you can do to overcome these difficulties. You should also monitor your own learning ability to identify areas for improvement and ways to improve them, and then persist in training to improve your academic performance. You've got this!

I really hope you can stick with it and finish high school so you can go to the university you want. I also hope that your parents will stop treating you this way when you leave home.

That's all for now, sweetheart. I love you and I'm rooting for you!

In light of the particular circumstances, it is advisable to refrain from dwelling on the matter, as attempting to address it independently may prove challenging and ineffective, regardless of one's efforts. It is indisputable that physical punishment and verbal abuse of children are unacceptable. Contemporary educational approaches must transcend the antiquated notions of previous generations, which held that corporal punishment was the sole means of ensuring children's obedience. Moreover, even mild forms of disciplinary action, including verbal reprimands, can be classified as domestic violence. It is, therefore, recommended to engage in constructive dialogue with the teacher to convey your concerns regarding the parenting style and communication patterns observed within your household.

In the eyes of parents, they and their child are not equal. Parents are the stronger party, while the child is the weaker one. Alternatively, parents may believe that parents are always right and the child is always wrong. This lack of equal communication opportunities can only be improved through the intervention of a respected role model, such as a teacher, who can identify and improve problems in a calm manner. As a student's teacher, she has the right to know all the reasons behind the student's poor academic performance, and this is her duty.

As a preliminary measure, it is recommended that you consult with your class teacher or any other teacher with whom you have a positive relationship regarding the challenges you are currently facing. Given their proximity to you and their familiarity with your circumstances, teachers are well-positioned to address these issues in a professional and comprehensive manner, taking into account all aspects of your academic performance. The interests of teachers and students are aligned, as both parties share a common goal of academic success. Teachers also have a vested interest in their students' well-being and performance. For parents, teachers are regarded as equals or, in the eyes of parents, held in higher regard, which provides a sense of assurance and stability. It is understandable if you have reservations about the advice provided. Should you have any concerns in the future, you are encouraged to seek guidance.

It is also important to remember that when one is upset, it is crucial to express one's feelings. If one is unable to identify an appropriate individual with whom to discuss these emotions, it is always possible to seek a listening ear from a third party. It is essential to recognise that there are numerous positive aspects and experiences in life that are yet to be fully appreciated.