What should I do if I feel inferior because the people around me are so outstanding?

I understand the emotional dilemma you are currently experiencing. The "inferiority complex" you mentioned and the discomfort caused by the excellence of those around you are indicative of deeper-seated issues in your self-worth and interpersonal relationships.

Next, I will analyze the causes of this situation from a psychological perspective and provide specific suggestions to help you overcome this feeling of insincerity.

First, we must identify the source of this feeling of inferiority. It often stems from our misjudgment of our own value and an overinterpretation of the achievements of others.

You may have been overly concerned about your own shortcomings and have magnified the strengths of others, which has led to feelings of inferiority and insecurity. This is a common phenomenon in psychology called "comparison psychology." While it is part of human nature, excessive comparison psychology can have a negative impact on our mental health.

I advise you to take the following steps to gradually improve:

You must accept yourself and affirm your own value.

To overcome a sense of inferiority, you must first learn to accept yourself. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and this is unavoidable.

Shift your attention away from your shortcomings and focus on your strengths and achievements. Affirm your own value, believe that you are capable, and know that you deserve love.

When you accept yourself, your heart will become more determined and confident.

2. Adjust your mentality of comparison.

Comparative psychology is a common psychological phenomenon, but you can choose how to deal with it. Use it as a driving force to motivate yourself to improve. Don't let it become a source of inferiority and anxiety.

Don't be envious or jealous when you see others excel. Learn from their strengths and virtues and use them to inspire yourself to keep improving.

3. Establish equal interpersonal relationships.

You said there's always a sense of superiority in interpersonal relationships, which is probably related to your self-worth. You need to learn to respect others and understand the uniqueness and value of each individual to establish equal interpersonal relationships.

When getting along with others, be open and tolerant. Don't overemphasize your own advantages or belittle others. Treat others with equality and respect, and you will receive respect and recognition in return.

4. Cultivate empathy.

Empathy is the key to good relationships. Cultivate it. You'll understand the feelings and needs of others better, and you'll build more genuine and deeper relationships.

When you see others achieve something, don't just focus on your own feelings. Feel happy and proud for them instead. By sharing in the joy and success of others, you can enhance your own sense of well-being and satisfaction.

5. Seek support and help.

If you're struggling to overcome this emotional dilemma on your own, seek support and help. Share your feelings and confusion with a close friend, family member, or counselor. They can offer helpful advice and support.

You should also participate in some psychological growth groups or courses to improve your psychological quality and coping skills through collective learning and exchanges.

Finally, I want to be clear that change is a gradual process that requires time and patience. You won't overcome all your problems overnight. Instead, you need to practice and reflect on it in your daily life.

You will become more confident, open, and sincere through continuous effort and perseverance.

You can and you will face your emotional predicament and actively seek change and growth. You will overcome the feeling of being "under-equipped" and establish healthier, more equal, and more sincere relationships.

Hello, I can tell you're feeling a bit uneasy and confused from what you've written. First of all, I want to give you a hug and hope that my answer will be helpful to you.

A sense of inferiority, or a feeling of "I'm not good enough," usually comes from feeling insecure and unsure of yourself. This feeling might be the result of criticism, rejection, or failure experiences during our upbringing.

It can affect our self-esteem and make us doubt our abilities and value.

It's good to know that you have a desire for excellence and positive motivation. However, it seems that this feeling affects your sense of self-worth and your relationships with others. We can look into this further and make some adjustments.

First, you mentioned dominance in relationships and envy of your friends' kindness and sincerity. It seems like you're looking for self-worth and recognition from others. You hope that you can be like your friends, not just achieve success, but more importantly, have a kind and sincere heart.

This is a great start. You're aware of your shortcomings and you're willing to improve, which is a good foundation to build on.

Regarding the relationship with the boy you like and how you feel when he achieves something, could it be due to your inner insecurity and anxiety about comparison? In this case, we can try to learn to appreciate his achievements and see them as an opportunity for you to grow together.

Love and friendship aren't about competing, they're about supporting each other and growing together. When you can genuinely be happy for each other when you succeed, it can really improve your relationship.

Regarding the feeling of being "high above," could it be a defense mechanism caused by your lack of self-confidence? It might be an unconscious attempt to protect yourself from harm.

True self-confidence comes from accepting your flaws and believing that your value isn't just about what you've achieved, but also about who you are and your personality.

By facing the questioner's questions together, we can work through them and overcome these feelings. I hope this helps.

Take some time for self-reflection. Try to understand your inner world and figure out why you feel the way you do.

It can be helpful to write down your strengths and achievements, as well as what you appreciate about other people. It's important to recognize that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and that your value is not determined by comparison with others.

It's also a good idea to try to cultivate gratitude. Set aside a moment each day to appreciate what you have, including your accomplishments, your friends, and the guy you like.

Gratitude can help you feel happier and less focused on comparisons.

It's also a good idea to learn to give yourself positive affirmations. Affirm yourself with positive words.

For instance, you could say to yourself, "I am valuable and I don't need to prove myself through comparison." Repeating these affirmations can help you build self-esteem and confidence.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own personal growth.

Set personal goals and celebrate your progress, no matter how small it may seem.

Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and see things from their perspective. This will help you understand their feelings and needs.

When you truly understand and care about others, you'll find you don't need to take an advantage in relationships.

It can be helpful to talk to a trusted friend or family member about your feelings and listen to their perspective. Sometimes an outside point of view can help us see the good in ourselves that we might not have noticed.

If you're struggling to deal with these issues on your own, it might be helpful to speak to a counselor. They can provide guidance and support.

Everyone's on their own journey, and everyone's different. Our value isn't about where we are on the social ladder. It's about our character, how we treat others, and how we handle challenges.

It's important to accept your imperfections and embrace your uniqueness so you can connect with others and enjoy the beautiful moments in life.

I hope this helps. Have a great day! ??

The questioner displays positive attributes. However, there is a discrepancy between this and the assertion that they lack confidence and feel inadequate. In interpersonal relationships, there is an aspiration to outperform the other party. There is admiration for the sincerity, kindness, and friendliness of a friend, but when there is a positive interaction, there is a sense of superiority.

Even if the individual in question achieves success, your initial response is not one of congratulation but rather one of discomfort. Your ambivalence is causing confusion, and you even feel that you are not worthy of being friends with them.

I will begin by outlining the state I have read.

1. The subconscious mind believes that there is a hierarchy of abilities and that being at the top of this hierarchy provides a sense of superiority. This sense of superiority is perceived as positive. Conversely, when an individual feels that they are not as capable as others in a particular area, they may experience feelings of inadequacy and discomfort. In summary, the subconscious mind believes that individuals can be placed on a spectrum of abilities and that there is a positive correlation between being at the top of this spectrum and a sense of superiority. Conversely, being at the bottom of the spectrum may lead to feelings of inadequacy.

2. The conscious mind, or rational mind, advocates equality for all, the absence of power, and respect for the weak by the strong. This consciousness gradually becomes part of the subconscious mind.

3. Once integrated, you will see yourself as a strong individual in your imagination, while simultaneously demonstrating behaviors that do not oppress the weak.

Therefore, there are two conflicting and contradictory views in your subconscious. The former in the subconscious contradicts the view in the conscious.

One possible reason is:

The subconscious mind is closely related to one's upbringing, while the conscious mind is related to accepting higher-level concepts such as moral education.

1. Reflect on your upbringing. Some parents I know frequently compare their children with others, whether in terms of academic performance, social standing, or physical attributes. They express satisfaction when their children achieve results and offer rewards. However, if the children fall short of the parents' expectations, they react negatively, communicate in a detached manner, or even impose disciplinary actions. Children who grow up in this environment for an extended period may develop the perception that they must excel above others to receive rewards and, more crucially, gain the parents' approval and affection.

I am unsure if you have had a similar experience.

2. Certain works of film and television, online literature, etc., featuring protagonists who are simultaneously strong and approachable and sympathetic towards the weak, are also highly appealing and influential. Moreover, they align with the democratic, equal, fair, and harmonious values instilled in us through moral education. Consequently, as the subconscious meaning of moral education is being formed, these ideas are also subconsciously planted.

The following are some truths and advice:

1. No individual is perfect, and each possesses unique characteristics. These characteristics may be perceived as strengths, but they are often accompanied by corresponding weaknesses, and vice versa.

2. An individual's achievements are influenced by a combination of factors, including interest, hard work, perseverance, and willpower. While it is encouraging to celebrate one's achievements, it is important to recognize that others may achieve similar success through different approaches. Human energy is limited, and if an individual has invested in achieving results in one area, they may not have the capacity to invest in other areas equally. Consequently, their performance in other areas may not be as strong as it could be.

This is also a fundamental truth about the world.

3. Adherence to these truths facilitates a more comprehensive and dialectical view of situations. When one individual outperforms another, it merely signifies that the former possesses superior skills in a specific area at a given point in time. Concurrently, the latter must possess attributes that the former lacks. If this mindset is consistently maintained, it will eventually become a subconscious belief, influencing one's thought process. This is the rationale behind the modesty and prudence espoused by many individuals.

I hope this information is useful to you.

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope my answer will be of some assistance to you. Kind regards,

I empathize with your situation, as I previously experienced a similar sense of inadequacy. Perceiving oneself as under-equipped is often a symptom of low self-worth. It's a feeling that you're not good enough, when, in reality, you possess many admirable qualities. To address this, it's essential to enhance your self-worth, accept your imperfections, and avoid basing your self-worth on comparisons with others. Instead, focus on embracing your strengths, values, and unique qualities, and live your life authentically.

I would like to offer you the following advice:

1. It is possible to become aware of the specific thoughts behind these problems, which can be defined as "restrictive beliefs."

Perhaps we believe that our performance is only satisfactory if it is better than that of our colleagues. Alternatively, we may feel that if others are successful, it means that we are not. Some may even believe that their value is based on comparison with others.

It is essential to identify and address the unreasonable thoughts and beliefs that may be holding you back. These limiting beliefs contribute to ongoing challenges, as evidenced by psychological research. It is not the event itself that affects our state; it is our thoughts and beliefs. By changing our thoughts, we can change our state.

It is therefore necessary to alter our mindset. We must adjust our thinking and replace irrational beliefs with logical ones. For instance, my existence is valuable in itself, and I do not need to prove it by being better than others. The fact that someone else is good does not mean that I am not good enough. Someone else's good is someone else's good, and our good does not disappear just because someone else is good. He can be good, and I can be good too. We can coexist. My good is inherent in my very existence, and I do not need to compare myself to others.

2. Forget about comparisons. Each individual is distinctive. Don't use other people's strengths or weaknesses as a standard to measure your own. Accept yourself, bring your strengths and values into play, and live your life to the fullest.

It is important to recognise that everyone is unique. There is only one of you in this world, and this in itself is your value, which no one can replace or copy. Furthermore, it is not possible to make direct comparisons between individuals. You may be more proficient in some areas than others. Some people may be better at handling interpersonal relationships than us, but not necessarily better at studying in silence; some may be more adept at making money, but not necessarily have better intimate relationships...

Therefore, individuals are not singular, but multifaceted. There is no single standard of measurement. It is not as important to see what you have compared to others, but to see what you want. When you can satisfy your own needs and live the way you want to be, is that not true "excellence"?

To initiate this process, it is essential to acknowledge your shortcomings, recognize your imperfections, identify your strengths and values, and integrate them into your daily life. This will enable you to flourish with inner confidence and charisma, without the need to prove anything externally. The confidence you gain will be intrinsic and derived from your very existence.

Please refer to the above for your information. Best regards,

Hello there!

"What if I feel inferior because the people around me are so good?"

After reading your question carefully, I could see that you feel like you're not good enough and want to be in control in a relationship. If this isn't the case, I'm so sorry you feel lost and insecure.

Let's look at an example together.

1. When I'm with a good friend, I feel like I'm on top of the world! It's a little bit of a guilty feeling, but it's also really comforting.

2. When I'm with my boyfriend, who is very good, I sometimes feel a little inferior, thinking that if the other person knew the real me, they might not like me.

So, let's take a look together to see if this is down to external factors, something we need to work on ourselves, or a bit of both.

Take a moment to put aside your critical thoughts and imagine how you would feel if your best friend and boyfriend accepted you for who you are, flaws and all. Even though they saw your flaws, they still loved you unconditionally.

I'd love to know if you'll still feel like you're not worthy of being treated well.

If you still feel like this, it might be because you're worried that their love is not as solid as you'd like it to be, and that there might be other changes and situations that could affect it. This shows that the problem is not just about the external environment, but also about you and your own personal journey. It's about how you've grown and developed as a person, and having a good understanding of your own feelings.

Take me, for instance. When I was just a little thing, I didn't get the love and attention I needed. My emotions were brushed aside, and I felt like I was being ignored. Sometimes, it was down to the parents not knowing how to respond to their kids. They were just doing their best, bless them! But it made me feel neglected and ignored.

As our little one grows up, she'll naturally start to form her own identity. This can sometimes lead to a bit of a struggle when it comes to accepting herself, and this can even affect her relationships with others.

It's so lovely when others affirm me. It makes me feel recognized, valued, and empowered. I feel confident and courageous.

But when someone says something negative, it can really shake my sense of inner worth. I feel insecure and afraid of being rejected, which is totally normal!

So, the problem isn't that you're not worthy of love or that you have no sense of worth. It's more that you're uncertain about your own sense of worth. Because no one has really responded well to your worth, you tend to negate yourself first.

So, the best way to beat an inferiority complex is to accept and love yourself!

In the past, I often felt that I was too hard on myself. So I first collected some honest feedback from people who know me well, such as parents, friends, and close relationships. I then sorted it out and started to re-evaluate myself to see if it was true.

It's always interesting to compare my self-evaluation with an objective evaluation. It can be surprising to realize that the self I see in my eyes is different from the self others see in mine (as evaluated by someone who cares about me). It's also interesting to see how my evaluation is always affected by my emotions, while the self others see in me is more objective and stable.

This is how I came to understand that my self-evaluation is often affected by past negative emotions. And while I have my own shortcomings, I realized that everyone has them, too. So I decided to create a more positive self-evaluation system to help me feel better about myself.

Once you've taken the time to understand your own thoughts, it's time to accept yourself.

In this regard, the questioner used the word "rights" to describe the changing status of the relationship. The metaphor is very vivid, but what we really need to understand is that "it is not rights that maintain a relationship, but love and trust."

Your parents love you so much that they can trust you unconditionally and accept you, no matter what. Your friends and boyfriends can also be honest with you because they love you. They'll never negate you or pick on you. So being honest is sometimes not an expression of inferiority, but of confidence. And out of love and trust, we can accept and support each other, and sincerely wish each other happiness.

I really hope these answers help you!

Wishing you all the best!

Dear questioner, I empathize with your inner turmoil and struggle, your questioning of your self-worth, and your unease when interacting with others. These experiences are not uncommon and are likely shared by many individuals.

Let us now address these emotions in a gentle and constructive manner, with a view to finding a solution.

First and foremost, it is imperative to acknowledge that each individual possesses a distinct identity and intrinsic value. The mere fact of one's existence is a profound and self-evident truth that does not necessitate validation through comparison to others.

It is recommended that individuals attempt to recognize and appreciate their own strengths and achievements, regardless of their perceived magnitude. These seemingly insignificant attributes, when accumulated, contribute to an individual's distinctive charisma.

Additionally, it is important to learn to accept one's own shortcomings. It is a fallacy to believe that perfection is attainable, as all individuals possess shortcomings and weaknesses.

Such deficiencies do not signify a lack of worth; rather, they represent a natural aspect of personal growth. It is advisable to adopt a mindset of acceptance and strive for improvement.

Upon accepting oneself, one may observe a reduction in emotional distress and an increase in self-assurance.

In the company of others, it is advisable to direct one's attention towards the other person. It is important to be mindful of their needs and feelings, and to listen attentively to their stories and thoughts.

When one truly focuses on the characteristics of others, it becomes evident that each individual possesses distinctive traits and qualities. By demonstrating appreciation and respect for these attributes, one can foster more authentic and profound relationships with others.

In regard to the matter of superiority that you referenced in your discussion of interactions with individuals who may be perceived as more accomplished than you, it is recommended that you consider adopting a more egalitarian and respectful approach to communication. Initially, it may be beneficial to disengage from any defensive or superior attitudes and instead offer genuine commendations for the achievements and capabilities of the other person.

Subsequently, it is advisable to share one's own experiences and feelings in order to facilitate comprehension of one's inner world by the other person. Finally, it is recommended to maintain an open and tolerant mindset, while respecting the other person's views and choices.

When individuals engage in these behaviors, they often find that their relationships become more intimate and harmonious.

In addition to the aforementioned counsel, I would also like to provide some concrete directives for action. Initially, it is recommended that the individual in question commit to a daily practice of identifying and acknowledging three personal strengths or accomplishments.

This will assist in fostering a sense of confidence and self-worth. Secondly, it is recommended to engage in in-depth conversations with at least one friend on a weekly basis, actively listening to their narratives and perspectives, and expressing care and support.

Such activities will facilitate the deepening of one's friendships and the acquisition of skills for effective social interaction. Finally, it is recommended to engage in activities or courses that facilitate personal growth, such as book clubs, yoga classes, or art courses.

Such activities can assist in the discovery of one's potential and interests, as well as the enhancement of abilities and skills.

It is important to remember to be patient and persistent in overcoming this feeling of insincerity. Change takes time, but if one is willing to work hard, it is possible to find one's own path.

It is also important to remember to treat oneself with love and care. One should recognize that one deserves to be loved, respected, and given attention.

It is imperative to maintain a sense of self-worth and to confront adversity with fortitude.

In conclusion, it is important to note that you are not alone in this endeavour. You have the support and encouragement of your peers, who are here to provide you with motivation and assistance.

It is my sincere hope that you will be able to identify sources of happiness and satisfaction in the days to come. I wish you the very best of luck!

Hello.

You believe your relationship with others should be equal. However, in actual interaction, you feel a slight sense of superiority, which allows you to get along better with the other person in the relationship.

If the other person is better than you and you don't feel jealous or envious, but suddenly feel a psychological gap and think that you are inferior to them, then you are not worthy of being their friend. You feel that you are not good enough for them. You are right.

You lack confidence and feel inadequate. You need to be in control, and being with someone who is weaker than you makes you feel secure and self-confident that you are needed by the other person.

You have a crush on a guy, and when he tells you about something he's recently achieved, your first reaction is not to be happy for him, but to feel a little bad for him. You think that once you're not as good as the other person, you have no right to speak.

Then you are no longer in a position of dominance in the relationship. Without that, you no longer feel needed, which makes you feel insecure. You don't know how to get along with him anymore.

You believe that only someone good enough is worthy of love. You don't feel good enough, and you can't be completely confident.

Once you lose the "proud part" of a relationship, you don't know how to get along with the other person anymore. This is a new experience for you.

Once you become aware of it, you can try it. Try it more often and you will gain experience.

You want everyone to be equal, but you know you're not completely equal inside when you're with your friends. You always have a vague sense of superiority, and you try your best to control it, but that feeling is real, and the other person may not notice it.

It's all about the thoughts in our heads and the way we feel. We humans have a lot of complex mindsets, and we're not going to worry about that.

We only show others what we want them to see. Everyone has their own emotions, which they keep to themselves.

The reason for the faint sense of superiority is simple: this is not one's main personality trait. It is a secondary, side character. There is nothing wrong with this side character, and we allow it to exist within us.

We are more equalitarian in nature and allow for equality more often. Superiority and equality are both here, and we accept them. We accept many more qualities than these and know that we are complex and multifaceted like humans.

We have different sides, and we choose not to show all of them to the outside world. Some of them must be kept inside. We are adults, and we demand our privacy. We need our own hidden inner world, and we don't easily show our inner world to others.

You are courageous, and you have shown the world what is in your heart. When a special relationship comes along, you reveal a small part of yourself.

The part of us that we show to the outside world is our main characteristic. It's obvious that we cannot hide our main characteristic very often. We also have many other characteristics that we do not easily show to the outside world.

All these facets are our characteristics—some dominant, some secondary, and some put together. We possess every facet, and we are complete.

The world and I love you. Love yourself too.

The emotional struggles you describe are actually very common. Many people compare themselves to others internally, which can lead to complex emotions such as a lack of self-confidence or a sense of superiority. We hope you will find the following suggestions helpful in dealing with these feelings:

It might be helpful to consider the concept of self-acceptance.

It might be helpful to try to accept your own imperfections and shortcomings. We all have our own unique qualities, and there is no absolute standard to measure who is better.

It is important to remember that your value is not solely determined by your achievements, but also by your kindness, integrity, and other qualities that cannot be quantified.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider redefining success.

Perhaps the definition of success could be expanded to include personal growth, interpersonal relationships, mental health, and other aspects, rather than being limited to material achievements or social status.

It might be helpful to focus on your own progress in different areas, rather than just comparing yourself to others.

It would be beneficial to develop empathy.

When interacting with others, it may be helpful to try to think from their perspective and understand their feelings and challenges.

This can help to reduce feelings of superiority and strengthen emotional connections with others.

It might be helpful to try to learn to appreciate others.

It might be helpful to genuinely rejoice in the achievements and progress of others, rather than seeing them as a threat.

It may be helpful to consider that when you can appreciate others, you may find that your own state of mind becomes more positive.

It may be helpful to communicate and share your feelings with those close to you.

It might be helpful to share your feelings with friends and loved ones, who may be able to offer a different perspective and support.

It might also be helpful to communicate your true feelings to the boy you like, as this could help to enhance mutual trust and understanding.

You may wish to consider seeking professional help.

If you feel that these feelings are persisting and affecting your daily life, you may wish to consider seeking the guidance of a counselor.

They may be able to offer more specific advice and methods to help you deal with these complex emotions.

It would be beneficial to practice.

While theoretical knowledge is undoubtedly valuable, it is equally important to put these tips into practice.

From this point forward, you may wish to consider incorporating these suggestions into your daily routine and observing the changes that occur within yourself.

It is important to remember that change is a gradual process and that it is not reasonable to expect too much too soon. It would be beneficial to allow yourself time and patience, as this will gradually result in a shift in your mindset and behavior in a more positive direction.

Hello, Coach Yu from Heart Exploration here. I'd like to discuss this topic from two perspectives.

Why?

Maybe it's a lack of security. When you were a kid, did your mom stop you a lot from doing things like holding chopsticks or walking?

We judge ourselves on things we don't know. This makes us vulnerable as adults. The questioner seems to think they are not as good as the other person.

This may be a problem with how we see ourselves. We often base our self-identity on what others think, which makes it hard for us to know who we really are. We think too much about what other people think of us and worry that if we do something well, they will reject us. This makes it hard for us to have confidence in ourselves and to build our own identity.

As the original poster wrote, I always feel like I'm in control in a relationship.

It may be an inability to see oneself as good. Think back: were our parents always there for us as kids?

Have you ever asked your parents for something and been happy with their answer? Or do you always do what they ask and feel ignored?

Although they seem obedient and sensible, they are anxious and uneasy. They are always living in the eyes of others and unable to see their own good. They lose confidence in themselves. They are also prone to learned helplessness.

The original poster wrote that I don't want to harm them. But I feel that the distance between us is getting wider.

Our childhood experiences may have caused us to suppress our emotions. We may have felt unloved and unable to find a way to relieve our feelings. This can lead to self-abuse as a way to cope.

We've been belittling ourselves since childhood to avoid reality. I hope everyone is equal and not oppressed by power, but I don't have power.

What should I do?

Seeing the good as a way of thinking is a positive way of thinking. We can start by accepting ourselves, being true to ourselves, and accepting our imperfections.

See your strengths or virtues, write them down, and praise yourself. This helps you think positively and improve.

Find resources. It's harder to find resources than problems. When something happens, ask who else can help.

What else can I do? What else can I use?

We can make peace with our emotions. When we notice a negative emotion, we can ask ourselves, "What does this remind me of? It's not true!"

When we accept our emotions, we're less likely to distort our behavior. We can also record our feelings.

Write about your feelings. This helps us understand emotions and the causes of problems.

If this bothers you, you can seek help. Find a family member or friend you trust. If you need more support, you can also find a counselor or a support group.

We can also try to be kinder to ourselves. What you choose to see is more important than what the facts are.

Recommended book: "Stop trying to please others."

Dear questioner, It's time to address this problem. Many people experience it when they see others excel and feel sad about it.

First, let's break down this lengthy paragraph.

1-They are convinced they are not confident enough, not good enough, and have shortcomings.

2-They want to be the dominant force in interpersonal relationships and they want to be on top.

3-When a friend achieves something, the first reaction is not happiness but discomfort. They feel their right to speak is being lost.

4-After gaining power, they want to treat people with conditions not as good as their own equally, but they still have a sense of superiority.

Let's analyze this.

Let's talk about confidence and shortcomings.

I want to know if there's a time when confident people aren't confident. Do they have shortcomings?

We are all flawed people with areas where we are not good enough. This is normal. We all have moments of low self-confidence.

We have shortcomings and lack self-confidence because we want to overwhelm others and become the best, the unique, and the unparalleled benchmark.

That is why we look up and compare ourselves with those who are better than us. This is a driving force for progress, and it is not a major problem in itself.

When we compare, we have to suppress ourselves. If we are inferior to others, we will feel ashamed and beat ourselves up, and that is the problem. We must not allow this to happen.

Tell yourself:

I am objective. I know that I don't have the same abilities as others in this area at this time. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. I am aware that I currently cannot see my own strengths and only focus on my weaknesses.

At such times, you must remind yourself to remain objective, find the bright spots in yourself, and not undervalue yourself.

Let's talk about dominance in interpersonal relationships.

We all want to be in control of our relationships and, if possible, be in a position of authority. This is simply human nature.

For thousands of years, only those in high positions have had a say and could decide their own lives. We want to be in control of our destiny in all our relationships.

In our relationships with ordinary friends, we exude a sense of superiority. We are envied and liked.

This is when the narcissistic instinct that exists in our bodies is satisfied, and our instinctive self has the need to pursue a sense of superiority.

It doesn't matter if you're narcissistic. You're not hurting anyone else.

I am disappointed when others achieve better results than me.

This is similar to the previous article. The previous article is about how narcissistic needs are met. This article is about how narcissism is thwarted.

The instinct of narcissism is a psychological tendency in humans that stems from the need to seek a sense of superiority.

In daily life, people may reveal their narcissistic instincts from time to time, and then deeply regret it afterwards.

The fourth rule of grooming is also a narcissistic need.

To avoid the adverse effects of the narcissistic instinct, you must constantly examine your actions and reflect on yourself to see if this is a manifestation of narcissism.

You can also adjust unreasonable thoughts through cognitive behavior, adjust some behavior patterns, and recognize your own limitations.

At the same time, we must pay more attention to the needs and interests of others, not just ourselves. It is our responsibility to understand what our friends need, what the other person in the relationship wants, and to meet those needs when appropriate.

Professional psychotherapists can and will help you explore the root causes of narcissism in depth and provide targeted guidance.

The above analysis is for your reference.

Hello. From your description, it is clear that you are experiencing a conflict and a sense of helplessness.

As a psychological counselor, I will provide a psychological perspective on this matter.

Let me be clear: your problem is:

Don't let others' achievements make you feel inferior.

I have low self-confidence. I feel that I'm never good enough. I have flaws. I like to dominate in relationships. I hope I'm better than the other person. I don't laugh at or ridicule the other person. It just makes me feel secure. Maybe it's a way of proving that I'm needed. I have a really good friend. The other person hasn't achieved as much as me, but they're really sincere and kind. They'll be happy for me when I achieve something. I know I can achieve more. I don't know if it's my subconscious, but I always feel superior in this relationship. I've tried to avoid it, but I still feel this way. I envy my friend for being so kind and friendly. I also have a guy I like a lot. Recently, the two of us have been getting a bit flirtatious. When we chat, he talks about the achievements he's made recently. My first reaction is either to be happy for him or feel a bit uncomfortable. I don't seem as good as the other person.

I want to know if it's true that I have no say in the matter. When I chat with him, the other person also praises me for doing well at xxx. But I always feel like I'm making a big deal out of it. It's probably a bit of

First of all, you have an excellent sense of perception.

You see her sincerity, kindness, and friendliness in your relationship with your best friend. These are also qualities you have. You can have deep friendships with like-minded people only if you have these qualities in your subconscious mind.

Second, you are motivated to keep improving.

When your boyfriend is excellent, it activates your potential motivation. I also want to grow up to be like him. This is envy, which psychology calls jealousy. He is excellent, and I also want to be as excellent as him. You will take this as your goal and motivate yourself to be positive.

Third, you need to pay attention to yourself. You care a lot about external evaluations. Perhaps you were influenced by external factors during your growth, being rejected, demanding and ignored more often. Now you have internalized this as your own denial, belittlement and accusations, always comparing your own shortcomings with the strengths of others.

You must change your perceptions, internalize the need to pay attention to your inner feelings, learn to love yourself, express your inner thoughts in words, and speak up to be seen, heard, and understood. Only then can you seek resources, adjust yourself, and become a strong and stable self within.

The world and I love you. You must learn to love yourself, understand yourself, and accept yourself in order to be a better version of yourself. You can do this. Good luck!