What should I do if I like a 9-year-old boy and I'm caught up in my own unilateral entanglement?

Hello! I'm Jiang 61.

Thank you for trusting us and telling us about your confusion. You like a boy nine years younger than you and are unsure what to do. Let's discuss it together after reading your introduction.

1. Introduction

1️⃣, the boy

You met a 20-year-old boy, nine years younger than you, at work. He was sweet and welcoming. You went on a trip with him and he helped take photos. Everyone thought he was your boyfriend. He chatted sweetly and you fell for him.

Considerate

You met a young boy, 9 years younger than you, through work. He was sweet, enthusiastic, attentive, capable, thoughtful, and considerate.

Caught up

The boy likes to chat. He is sweet-talking, and you pay attention to him. People who don't know think you are in a romantic relationship. You feel like you are caught up in emotions.

2. Boundaries

You said, "He took the initiative to chat with me, but I felt like keeping my distance, so I responded coldly. We started chatting again because we had to talk to each other about work. He said he felt bad when I didn't respond to his messages."

The next day, he chatted with me again.

? Boundaries

You're more concerned about boundaries because you have thoughts. You maintain a professional distance but stay in touch at work.

Feedback

The boy chatted with you. He gave you feedback. He feels bad when you don't reply. He'll chat with you again tomorrow.

3️⃣, dilemma

You said, "I'm 32 and single. I hope to find someone to marry. I haven't told him how I feel. My mind says it's unlikely, but my emotions say he'll message me. When we chat, I laugh. How should I handle my emotions?"

??

You're torn because you're looking for a boyfriend and want to get married. You think your idea of finding someone cute and getting to know them is unreliable because of the age gap and your desire to marry. These ideas are connected, creating a dilemma.

Contradiction

You like him, but the age gap is too big.

2. The reason for the dilemma

1. Differences

The difference between you and him.

The difference is what sets you apart from others. It includes how you think, what you know, how you act, how you speak, and how you interact with others.

Prejudice

The questioner doesn't dislike the other person's manner of speech, conduct, behavior, or feelings. However, the age difference causes the questioner to harbor grudges and consider factors such as public opinion.

2. How he acts

Attitude

In Chinese culture, attitude is about how a person views things and how that affects their actions. It can determine how a person responds to situations and the results they get.

The other person's attitude

The questioner likes the boy but doesn't know how to keep the relationship going without knowing what he thinks.

3️⃣, True love

True love

True love is courageous, selfless, tolerant, and determined. It allows us to show our vulnerable side, give everything for the other person, change ourselves, take risks, and guard for a lifetime.

True love makes us appreciate love.

Finding love

The questioner is in a serious relationship and wants to find true love. He is worried that the other person is not sincere and is wasting time.

3. What should I do?

1️⃣, Pay attention to your feelings.

Love yourself.

To love yourself, accept yourself, learn, and meet your needs.

Pay attention to your feelings.

We care about ourselves. When dealing with a boy, we first consider our feelings. Do we like him? What do we like about him? Do we feel loved, cared for, and protected? Do our values align? Can we accept how he deals with problems?

2. Direct communication

Talk to him directly.

If the boy is confused, there's no need to hide it. Ask him directly about his thoughts on marriage, plans, and thoughts of you. Tell him the truth about your thoughts and attitude towards marriage.

Find common ground while accepting differences.

Everyone has different views on marriage, family, and love because of their upbringing, cultural background, and education. We don't have to be the same. As long as the other person truly loves you and has good character, we can find common ground and develop the relationship.

3️⃣, Be sincere.

Treat each other sincerely.

Treat others sincerely. Be honest and don't be selfish. Don't be hypocritical, deceptive, or opportunistic.

True feelings for true feelings.

People's hearts are visible. As long as we look at the right person, they can feel our love and sincerity. Similarly, if we treat them with sincerity and true feelings, they can feel it too.

Questioner, the problem is not the age difference. It's about attitude towards love and marriage. If you're sincere, love and marriage will last.

Experience it with all your heart.

I wish the questioner happiness and joy!

Love is powerful. When you notice it quietly blossoming, it's hard to stop. The happiness and anticipation you feel are real and precious. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Let's be real, who doesn't want to be with someone who makes them happy?

However, you know better than to ignore the practical issues, such as the age difference and future plans. This shows that you are a mature and considerate person.

You can handle your emotions in two steps.

You need to take some time for yourself to figure out what you really think about this potential relationship. Ask yourself if you really know and are attracted to him as a person, or if you just feel a sense of warmth because of his enthusiasm and sweetness.

You must also consider what areas you need the other person to share your goals or at least have mutual understanding and respect if you want this relationship to have a future.

The second step is always communication. If the relationship is not just a figment of your imagination, then you need to find an appropriate time to talk to him about your thoughts and concerns in a relaxed but sincere manner.

Find out what he thinks about the future, whether he has considered the impact of the age difference, and how he really feels about you. The purpose of communication is not to reach a conclusion immediately, but to enhance mutual understanding and see if both parties are willing to work together for the relationship.

You are looking for a partner with whom you can spend your life together. If you find that the two of you don't have the same life goals, it is time to move on. You and your partner will find someone more suitable.

You have the right to enjoy life and pursue happiness, regardless of the outcome. Be yourself and do what makes you happy, whether you're single or in a relationship.

Life is full of unknowns and possibilities. Keep an open mind and know that the good things that belong to you will come. You've got this!

Hello, I'm Coach Yu, the relationship coach, and I'm thrilled to discuss this topic with you!

Now, let's dive into the fascinating topic of relationships and the self!

Chen Hai-xian said in "Amazing Me" that people are in relationships all the time, and that the self is different in different relationships. What often determines our thinking and behavior is not our personality, but the relationships we are in. This is really exciting because it means that we can transform the dimension of our thinking simply by starting from the perspective of relationships!

The questioner wrote in the article that she likes a guy nine years her junior and is torn between the two—and she's excited about it!

Let's ask ourselves: what role does the self play in a working relationship? Do we have to seek him out for work and initially pay him no mind at all?

What is my role in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship? I love it when he chats sweetly and innocently!

What an amazing role the self plays in an ambiguous relationship! He took the initiative to chat with me, and I couldn't stop smiling when I talked to him.

And we can also ask ourselves: what do we want in terms of our work relationship? Do we like his warm and meticulous reception?

What do we want in a relationship? Do we like his sweet talk and chatting? I think so!

What do we want in an ambiguous relationship? I'm 32 and single, and I'm excited to find someone to marry!

Let's also ask ourselves: What is it that my heart truly needs to feel free and confident? What is it that my heart truly needs to feel secure and reliable?

I'd love to hear your views on love and values! And what is your ideal relationship like?

What is the ideal marriage partner?

Let's also ask ourselves: what kind of position and role do we put ourselves in when we feel that it is unrealistic and unreliable? Do I accept this position and role?

So, what position and role are you putting yourself in when you expect him to message you? Do you accept that position and role?

If we find ourselves acting in ways we don't want to, it's not a personal problem. It's a chance to work on our relationship! When we understand our needs from the perspective of the relationship, we can also deal with things from the perspective of the relationship.

We can try to communicate with him once, face the relationship, discuss the relationship, express our thoughts honestly, listen to his thoughts carefully, and acknowledge the current situation between us. We cannot expect to truly understand each other's thoughts or ideas after one communication, but we can definitely try! We just want to understand each other, unlock more possibilities, and also release our pent-up emotions.

Let's talk about loving yourself!

In terms of the current relationship, the primary issue in dealing with one's emotions is our state of mind. Therefore, based on the principle of separating issues, after understanding one's true inner needs, a voluntary choice is the end goal of a good relationship. And it's so exciting to think that we can make that choice!

We can seek help because if this thing is bothering you, it is not easy to overcome it immediately. This is totally normal! Try to find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to. Or, if you feel the need, you can also find a counselor. This is a great way to release those emotions and relieve the heaviness and blockage in our hearts.

And we also need to empower ourselves! As Eileen Chang said, "Because of knowing, we understand; because of understanding, we are compassionate." Finding someone who understands and appreciates you is the beginning of a beautiful love story and the key to a happy life! Of course, we also need to maintain an ordinary heart, because we believe that we always have the right to choose.

I'm so excited to recommend this amazing book: "Amazing Me"!

When one encounters a post-90s male who is nine years their junior, it is not only the age difference that is apparent, but also the emotional impact. This impact causes a state of indecision between reason and emotion, with concerns about the issues that may arise due to the age difference, as well as anticipation of in-depth communication with the younger individual.

Nevertheless, it is important to note that age is merely a number, and what truly matters is the degree of compatibility between two individuals.

Firstly, it is important to note that age is merely a number; attitude is of the utmost importance.

The term "age" is merely a label that does not fully encapsulate a person's level of maturity, wisdom, or life experience. Each individual possesses a distinct life trajectory and growth rate.

Despite the man's youth, his enthusiasm, attentiveness, and sociability are the qualities that distinguish him. The positive emotional response that these traits elicit is, in itself, a valuable indicator of the strength of the emotional bond.

It is therefore recommended that the age difference should not be a significant factor in this case; instead, the focus should be on the common interests and compatibility between the two parties. It would be beneficial to ascertain whether there is a future together with this individual.

The ability to face life's challenges and difficulties together is a crucial factor in determining the longevity of a relationship.

Secondly, it is imperative to exercise caution and rationality when making an emotional investment.

As you have indicated, you have developed an emotional attachment to him, which is a typical occurrence. However, it is essential to exercise caution and rationality when dealing with emotional attachment.

Prior to making the decision to invest emotionally, it is essential to ascertain one's needs and expectations and to evaluate whether the relationship aligns with one's long-term objectives.

One may consider the following questions: What are your expectations of this relationship? What do you hope to gain from it?

It is essential to ascertain whether one is able to accept the shortcomings and inadequacies of the other party. By answering these questions, one can gain a clearer understanding of one's own feelings and needs and decide whether to continue with the relationship.

3. It is essential to maintain open and honest communication.

Effective communication is a fundamental aspect of a healthy relationship. In the event of confusion or unease regarding one's feelings for the partner, it is crucial to communicate with them in a transparent and honest manner.

It is essential to communicate your feelings and concerns to him and to listen to his thoughts and responses. Through such communication, you can gain a deeper understanding of each other's needs and expectations and work together to find solutions to problems.

Additionally, it is important to maintain an open mind and avoid dismissing his views or ideas simply because of his age.

Instead, it is advisable to respect his opinions and choices and to attempt to comprehend them from his perspective. This open and honest communication style will facilitate the establishment of a deeper emotional connection.

Fourthly, it is important to focus on one's own growth and development.

It is imperative not to neglect one's own growth and development while dealing with this emotional entanglement. Regardless of the ultimate trajectory of the relationship, it is essential to maintain one's independence and autonomy.

It is important to maintain an awareness of one's own interests, career development, and mental health, and to pursue opportunities for continual enhancement of one's overall quality and abilities.

By concentrating on one's own growth and development, individuals can confront challenges and difficulties with enhanced confidence and composure. Concurrently, they can establish a robust foundation for their future lives and enhance their attractiveness.

5. It is recommended that the current situation be appreciated and that the process be enjoyed.

In conclusion, it is important to remember to cherish the moment and enjoy the process. Regardless of the ultimate outcome of the relationship, there is much to be gained from the experience.

The happiness, companionship, and growth experience he brings you are invaluable.

It is therefore recommended that one does not dwell excessively on the potential outcome, but rather cherishes each moment and derives enjoyment from spending time with the individual in question. Even if the relationship ultimately proves unsuccessful, one will not experience regret or loss.

Consequently, one will be more appreciative of the growth and gains that this experience has brought about.

It is my hope that the aforementioned analysis will prove beneficial in assisting you in navigating this emotional entanglement. It is important to recognize that while love is a profoundly positive force, it also necessitates a certain degree of caution and reason.

It is my sincere hope that you will ultimately find true happiness and satisfaction.

Hello, I am Qu Huidong, a psychological counselor who can help people express themselves through images.

The questioner is attracted to a guy who is nine years younger than her, and she looks forward to hearing from him. She can't help smiling when they chat, but she also feels that it's not the most realistic or reliable situation. Could it be that it's the age difference between you and him that makes you feel this way?

It seems there may be a difference of opinion as to whether he is in a hurry to get married because of his age, while you are eager to get married because of yours.

As adults, we should not let age determine when we enter into marriage. The relationship between adults is based more on mutual understanding, respect, and sacrifice.

Age is just a number, and it doesn't fully reflect a person's maturity, sense of responsibility, or emotional depth. You can use reason to assess whether he displays these qualities during your interactions with him.

Additionally, marriage is not a race with a fixed starting line or finishing line. Everyone has their own rhythm and pace. It would be helpful to understand your reasons for wanting to get married, rather than just following age-related or social pressures.

If he is the right person, perhaps it would be helpful to let go of age-related anxieties and manage the relationship with your heart. This may result in a positive outcome at the right time.

Whatever decision you make in the end, I hope you can remain open-minded and positive, and enjoy this wonderful journey of love!

If one person has a good feeling about another, why not get close to them from any perspective? It's only a nine-year difference, and there are so many examples of people who are not the same age.

It's just that you may be thinking more than just "crossing the generation gap." It's not just about socializing or interpersonal relationships. You're 32 and still single, and at the slightest hint of something, you're already rushing headlong into marriage. So you want it and don't want it, you expect it and resist it, you're emotional and rational at the same time. Perhaps you don't need to be so torn between conflicting emotions. In other words, perhaps you're thinking too much, too early, but that's okay!

From your description, the young man you met at work is enthusiastic, attentive, sweet-talking, and meticulous. He's easy to impress and a great first impression! But it's just the beginning of a good relationship. He's a person of the opposite sex who is agreeable and approving. There's so much more to him than meets the eye!

Does it necessarily mean more? I don't think so, but it could!

And how well do you know him? Friends and family, character and values, how he behaves, not to mention his true intentions and attitude – the possibilities are endless!

Is the other person's perception of you as a boyfriend a joke or a presumption? Is the attentiveness of your boyfriend a personal or professional need?

Or is it just his personality to treat people this way, and it has nothing to do with other people? At least you are more talking about his enthusiasm and charm than his confession or explicit pursuit, which is great!

Obviously, there is a good feeling of joy in the heart, and there are indeed many possibilities and directions, but it is only the beginning! I don't know what your concerns are, whether you are afraid of wasting time and emotions even though you know it is not suitable, or whether you intuit that there will inevitably be conflicts due to the big age difference. Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll work it out!

Maybe this is all based on the premise and starting point of a relationship between a man and a woman, or even marriage. Either way, it's probably best to "let the bullets fly for a while" and think about it later. After all, there is normal interpersonal interaction outside of a relationship between a man and a woman!

I understand that you are prone to romantic fantasies and inclinations to fall in love and get married. You don't want to engage in a relationship that doesn't have marriage as a prerequisite. And that's okay! What is suitable will remain suitable, and what cannot be done will not be done. Whether or not to make marriage a prerequisite is irrelevant. What is important is the need to spend more time together, to get to know each other better, to make prudent judgments, and most importantly, to be honest and sincere with each other. This gradual process of getting to know and spending time with each other is intertwined with each other's feelings and choices, and it is not simply about what the future holds. It's about the journey you're about to embark on together!

So, take a good look at where you are now and do and say the right things. A great work partner doesn't have to treat you like their girlfriend. Falling in love is all about getting to know each other better, not getting married. You don't need to rush into anything. Maybe he doesn't mean to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and you'll probably see more of what's important to him as you get to know him better. Maybe he's not the right partner for you, or maybe you'll find that your needs change as you get older. Either way, it's okay to take a closer look before making a choice or decision.

I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Dear Question Asker,

Given your current circumstances, it is understandable that you feel somewhat overwhelmed by the complexity and strength of your relationship.

You are highly perceptive, with two distinct voices in your head. One is urging you to enter into a marriage-based relationship, while the other is telling you that this feeling is pleasant and you are happy to be immersed in it.

I am unaware of your previous experience with romantic relationships. However, I am curious to know your opinion of an ideal partner. If you have not had the opportunity to experience love, it may be advisable to proceed with caution.

It is important to ascertain the underlying reasons for your perception of unreliability, rather than focusing solely on age. Factors such as compatibility of values and the other person's background, including their family history and previous relationships, should also be considered.

In addition to the potential for physical and mental harm, unreliable relationships may also result in financial or even life-threatening consequences. Therefore, it is essential to gain an understanding of the other person's fundamental background.

This is a logical method for determining the reliability of a situation.

From an emotional standpoint, it is not uncommon to find oneself in the "head over heels" stage, which is a natural occurrence. The qualities of the other person may also be a factor in this stage.

Should follow-up contact, such as physical intimacy, occur, it may prove challenging to disengage. This is to be expected.

The initial stages of a relationship are often characterised by a high level of positive engagement, with both parties striving to present their best selves to the other. However, as the relationship progresses, differences in lifestyle preferences, attitudes towards others and values may lead to disagreements. Navigating these challenges can be complex.

However, if you have no prior experience of relationships, you may lack clarity on your expectations. Experimentation is not inherently problematic and most individuals only ascertain what suits them after experiencing it.

In light of your stated expectations, it is evident that you aspire to enter into a marital union. However, it is crucial to ascertain whether this aspiration is sufficiently pressing. If your objective is to establish a stable marital life, it may be permissible to initiate contact with other individuals who are marriageable.

In the absence of defined expectations, it is advisable to proceed with a flexible approach, with the objective of entering into a stable marriage. This implies that all prior interactions are permissible.

I hope the above is helpful. Best regards,

Hello, I'm Zeyu.

Let me be clear: there is nothing wrong with liking someone. It doesn't matter what happens, as long as we are control-desire-how-to-be-a-genuine-and-sincere-self-3226.html" target="_blank">sincere and do our best, we will have gained something.

If you like a 9-year-old boy and are caught in a dilemma, do not suppress your feelings. If you have a good feeling about the 9-year-old boy you meet and there are endless things to say when you are together, do not keep a distance or suppress your longing and expectation for this relationship. The more you try to control your emotions, the more you will lose control and become confused. Instead, admit your feelings for him and allow yourself to think and fall in love.

Emotionally, we must look beyond the sentimental and rational aspects of a relationship to truly understand our inner needs. Our brain is influenced by physiological hormones and psychology, making it challenging to control our emotions. However, if we have a positive impression of someone and like them, we can seize the right opportunity or topic to guide them to reveal their relationship status. If they are single, there's no reason not to pursue a friendship.

If the other person is currently in a relationship or dating, we can still become friends. It's important to set boundaries and control the scale. As long as we don't exceed each other's bottom lines and principles, there's no reason we can't have one more friend. After all, who can say for sure what the future holds?

I can feel the excitement and anticipation in the questioner's heart. It's a wonderful thing to meet someone new who makes your heart flutter, especially when you're single. The questioner is on the path to finding their perfect match!

First, you need to find out whether the guy is single. Good-looking guys are usually popular with girls, so it's best to find out before expressing your feelings. If the guy already has a girlfriend, it will be embarrassing if you express your feelings again and get rejected. So it's necessary to find out first.

Second, if the guy doesn't have a girlfriend and is single, the questioner can simply express their own thoughts to him and then listen to what he thinks. If the other person also has the same wishes, then it's a match made in heaven! If they don't, then they can remain as ordinary friends, and neither party will lose out.

Love and marriage are all about responsibility. And the best way to avoid any confusion is to be clear and open from the start. After all, you're in this together!

Then, before entering into marriage, the two people also need to get to know each other well through sufficient contact and interaction. This is a great way to learn more about your partner and how to maintain pleasant communication without affecting the relationship between the two when they encounter different opinions and views. At the same time, appropriate safety measures should also be taken, which is responsible for oneself. If you only think about how to get close to each other without considering the risks involved, you are not only being irresponsible to yourself, but also making the other person irresponsible for the relationship. In the end, it is you who will suffer.

I'm so excited to share my personal opinions with you! I hope they're helpful for you as a questioner.

Hello, I'm FFF. Your situation is common. Meeting someone at work who makes you feel excited can be confusing. To deal with this, I suggest you approach it from the following perspectives:

It's normal to feel these emotions, no matter your age or social role. It's great to feel noticed and happy.

Emotional conflicts and struggles come from a conflict of perception. You may be attracted to the other person's charm but worried about the relationship.

This is called "cognitive dissonance." It means that two conflicting thoughts make you feel uncomfortable.

Here are some ways to deal with your emotions:

First, know your needs. You want to marry, so that's clear. Ask yourself:

Do I like him for himself or for how he makes me feel?

Is this relationship in line with my long-term goals?

If you feel the relationship is not realistic, set some emotional boundaries. For example, limit non-essential contact outside of work and maintain a certain distance.

1. Be open and honest.

Have an open and honest conversation with him to find out what he thinks and wants. This will help you understand the relationship better.

2. Focus on yourself.

No matter what you decide, focus on your own growth and happiness. Learn new skills and develop interests to become more confident and fulfilled.

Many people have had similar experiences. A friend of mine also had a similar experience. Through open communication, she realized the other person didn't have long-term plans.

She decided to end the relationship and focus on herself. She later met someone better.

You can use this relationship to learn more about yourself. You can find out what you need and what you want, and learn what kind of partner is right for you.

You need to find a balance between your feelings and your head. You like the other person, but you're worried about the future.

To find this balance, you need to understand your needs and make decisions that fit your future plans.

Read books on emotions and relationships. They can help you understand and manage your emotions.

I hope these suggestions help. Best wishes on your emotional journey to happiness!

Hello, question owner. After reading the description, I understand that you met a boy born in the 2000s, who is nine years younger than you, at work. You think he is cute and want to get to know him better, despite the big age gap. In fact, you are a little conflicted. On the one hand, your rational mind tells you that the age gap is too big, but on the other hand, your emotions hope that you can continue to get to know each other.

You're 32, and you know you'll never find "the one" if you don't meet the right person. You still hope to meet the right person, and it's obvious you really like this young man.

Young boys like to cling to others, but since he took the initiative to talk to you, it means he still has feelings for you, right?

My method is straightforward and may not be suitable for everyone. Use it as a reference if you like, but remember: a short pain is better than a long one. You're 32, which is not young. If you want to find someone to marry, ask him directly if he has feelings for you and where the future is heading.

You can find an opportunity to talk to him face-to-face. Don't confess your love, but tell him your true feelings. Control your emotions and don't get too excited. Ask him directly if he's interested in you and where things are heading. If both of you are interested, continue to get to know each other. If one person isn't interested, end it while you still can.

If the other person is not interested, you might feel socially awkward. But if you can take the embarrassment lightly and think it's more important to have a clear result to save yourself from wasting time back and forth, you can give it a try.

You will find the right partner and have a happy, fulfilling marriage.

Hello!

You like this younger guy. But you're not sure if he'll become your boyfriend.

A woman in love is always missing and longing.

Let's look at this guy. He's enthusiastic, attentive, and likes to chat. He'll have luck with women and provide companionship and emotional value.

Is he just chatting with you? How is he different from your other friends?

Does he know he's mistaken for your boyfriend? How will he react?

Mention the misunderstanding to see his reaction.

If you fall in love with a post-2000s guy, will he just fall in love or consider marriage?

Dating is great. You miss each other all the time and every move affects you. Marriage is more about responsibility.

If a guy loves to travel, he can go on trips with his girlfriend. But if they get married and have kids, and the kids are too young to be left alone, and the mom can't go out and play, the dad will have problems if he goes out and plays all the time. What's good in a relationship isn't always good in marriage, so think about it again.

Do you value a guy's emotions the most?

You like how sweet this guy is. Does it feel like love?

What do you dislike?

What about this guy makes you like him?

Love has an emotional side and a rational side. Know your needs to be more rational in your relationships.

Good luck!

Good day. In the past, when I did not have any feelings for him, I did not have any concerns about communicating with him or spending time together. However, when one realizes that one has developed feelings for the other person, one becomes uncertain about how to interact with them.

It is evident that there is a preconceived notion underlying this predicament. The notion posits that pursuing a relationship with this individual may not be a realistic or reliable course of action, prompting a desire to disengage from the relationship to avoid potential future complications. However, despite this underlying assumption, there is a compelling emotional attraction to this individual, leading to a willingness to maintain contact.

From your account, it appears that the perception of him as "unrealistic and unreliable" is not a direct result of his actions, but rather an inherent bias based on his age difference. However, is there a direct correlation between age and reliability?

It is not possible to reach such a conclusion, as the personality traits, attitudes towards relationships and commitment of each individual are different and can only be understood through getting to know each other.

The feasibility of dating a younger man is also contingent upon the individual in question. Popular tradition may not view such relationships favourably, as there is a perception that they lack a sense of security.

However, as times change, people's views are also changing. There is an increasing prevalence of successful relationships between older men and younger women in society and around us. Intimacy is ultimately a very personal matter. One's own needs and feelings are of greater importance than external evaluation and approval. After all, whether one experiences love or not, and whether one feels comfortable or not is something that is experienced for oneself.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to set aside one's preconceptions and gain a deeper understanding of the individual in question by spending time together and engaging in interaction. In the event that concerns or anxieties are present, it may be helpful to ascertain whether the other person is willing and able to provide assistance in addressing these issues.

The age difference between partners does not necessarily affect the nature of intimacy. Intimacy can be conceptualized as an uncertain adventure that enables individuals to explore their own selves and grow. This process is inherently dualistic, encompassing both positive and negative emotions such as love and fear.

Hello, questioner! I'm Jia Ao, your Heart Exploration coach. I'm just checking in to see if you have any questions.

I read your description and saw that you're having trouble on the platform. Are you having relationship issues? You said that you have now met a guy who is 9 years younger than you. You didn't take it seriously at first, but after getting to know each other more, you were impressed by his enthusiasm and attentiveness. You like to chat and he is sweet. You fell in love with him without realizing it. You hope to find someone suitable to marry, but you don't really know him. On the one hand, your logical mind thinks it's not realistic or reliable, but on the other hand, your emotions make you look forward to him messaging you and chatting with him. You can't help but smile. How should you handle your emotions?

You know, you feel like you should keep your distance because he's so interesting, but you're also attracted to him. You have a lot of fun chatting with him. You could also try dating him and see what happens. Who knows?

Let me help you take a step back and look at things from a different angle.

1. It's important to make sure you both want it.

From an objective standpoint, brother-sister relationships are pretty common these days. But romances with a big age difference probably need to withstand more pressure. For example, you're worried that you may not be rational enough or that you don't know each other well, which could lead to a big difference in communication or thinking between you two. You feel there's a big risk, so you have to think carefully about whether your feelings for him are real or just a passing fancy. You also have to decide whether you're really determined to make it work. This is very important.

2. Stay calm and think things through.

Age isn't the issue here. What matters is that you grew up in different environments, so you'll have different views on things like consumption, marriage, and life in general. And when conflicts arise, communication can become tiring. So, when you have differences, you need to be open to discussing them. If you don't, it can lead to a parting of ways.

3. Be open and honest about your feelings.

No matter what happens, you need to think carefully and choose. It doesn't matter how old you are. Think about your own feelings: do you like each other? Do you want to be together?

If you really like him and want to be with him, you should be brave and tell him how you feel. It doesn't matter if he doesn't feel the same way, you won't regret it either way.

4. Listen to your heart.

Love is never a one-person thing. It's the result of the joint efforts of two people. On the road of love, it's not possible to do things wishfully because that will never bear fruit. If you truly love each other and have feelings for him, and he is sincere with you, then don't care about anything else. Age is not a problem. Just listen to your heart, don't daydream, do the things you want to do, love the person you want to love, and you have the right to pursue your own happiness.

I hope this helps. If you need to talk more, you can follow me (click on my personal page), choose the Heart Exploration service, and talk to me one-on-one. Thanks, and have a great day!

Dear Question Asker, My name is Evan, and I am a consultant in the field of fine differentiation.

From the questioner's description, it is evident that they are experiencing a degree of internal conflict and unease. It is natural to crave intimacy, but when faced with close intimacy, it is common to feel conflicted and apprehensive.

In light of these emotional complexities, I empathize with the questioner's confusion and unease.

It is important to note that the onset of emotions is a natural process. However, when navigating the potential development of a relationship, it is essential to consider a range of practical factors.

There are numerous factors to consider when entering into an intimate relationship. These include expectations and needs, as well as the desired level of relationship development. It is essential for the questioner to take these factors into account.

As the question was posed on this platform, we are unable to discuss it in depth. Instead, we can provide the questioner with suggestions on how to proceed, with the hope of assisting them in clarifying their thoughts.

It is important to clarify your needs. The questioner mentioned that, while intellectually, he felt the relationship was unrealistic, he was emotionally looking forward to it. It is essential to consider whether your feelings for him are based on a realistic understanding and empathy, or if they are simply a fleeting feeling triggered by his enthusiasm and attentiveness.

It is essential for the questioner to define their specific requirements for a relationship and marriage. What type of partner are you seeking?

What conditions must the other party meet? Please specify whether these conditions include age, occupation, personality, etc.

It is crucial to gain an understanding of the other person's thoughts and attitudes before becoming more deeply involved. Should the questioner feel the need to do so, they can have an open and honest conversation with the other person to gain insight into their views and expectations of the relationship.

It would be beneficial to express the author's concerns and expectations to ascertain whether a common understanding and direction can be found. It would also be advisable to have an in-depth conversation with him to understand his views on relationships and marriage, and whether he is willing to develop a further relationship with the author.

Remain calm and rational. The questioner has already recognized that emotions may influence decision-making, so it is important to remain objective when making choices. The questioner can list the advantages and disadvantages of continuing or ending the relationship to gain a clearer understanding of the situation.

Do not make a decision on impulse. Instead, carefully consider the feasibility and future development of the relationship.

It is important to consider the age difference between the two parties involved in the relationship. An age difference can pose some unique challenges in a relationship, such as differences in life stages, values, and life goals. It is essential for the questioner to assess whether these differences will affect the relationship and whether they can be accepted.

If the questioner and the boy have considered the potential difficulties and differences they may encounter, it is possible for the relationship to be maintained over an extended period of time.

Seek input from others. The questioner can share their feelings and thoughts with family and friends and listen to their opinions and suggestions. This may provide new insights and help the questioner better handle their emotions.

If feasible, the questioner should consider speaking with a trusted advisor, taking in their counsel, and even seeking the assistance of a counselor or marriage counselor to help them navigate these issues.

It is advisable to allow yourself sufficient time to reflect and observe before making a decision. The questioner can monitor your interactions and communication to ascertain whether there is a genuine affinity and whether the relationship is a viable proposition.

From the description of the questioner, it seems that the two of them have not yet officially started dating. It would be beneficial to try dating for a while to see how well you two get along during the relationship and how you both handle problems.

It is important to consider personal growth in the context of the relationship. Regardless of how the relationship progresses, it is essential to ensure that it does not impact work performance. The individual should maintain professionalism and politeness in the workplace to avoid any negative impact on work performance due to personal feelings.

Regardless of the trajectory of the relationship, the key objective is to facilitate personal growth and happiness. Investing in oneself, whether through career development, hobbies, or personal health, will enhance one's confidence and independence.

It is important to maintain an open mind and remain flexible in the event that the relationship does not work out. It is crucial to recognize that new opportunities may arise in the future.

There is no definitive answer to matters of the heart. The most important thing is to consider the various factors of reality while listening to your heart. Relationships are complex, and there is no absolute right or wrong. The questioner needs to make a decision based on their own actual situation and feelings, and be responsible for their choice.

Regardless of the decision you make, it is essential to ensure that it is made with the utmost care and consideration for your own well-being.

It is my hope that this response will prove useful to the questioner.

Hello! I'm a heart exploration coach, and I'm thrilled to be able to offer you some advice.

From your description, it seems that you are actually a little unsure of yourself when it comes to liking a guy nine years younger than you. You seem to have a lot of concerns and are torn about this aspect of yourself, but I'm excited to help you work through them!

After all, you actually met through work, and at first, you didn't take him seriously, but you just felt relatively comfortable with him. However, as your contact with each other deepened, you felt that this guy seemed quite attentive, and you really liked his enthusiasm!

But you are also a little unsure of yourself because you are nine years apart in age, and you wonder if the two of you are really a good match. Is it true that if you stay with him, people will really take you for granted because you are nine years younger?

Or is there some other fundamental difference between the two of you that will gradually come to light after you actually enter into a relationship, and make you regret it?

Then, in the face of our current thoughts, the first thing I want to say is about the age issue, because generally speaking, you are going for a relationship and marriage. You are now 32 years old, and the result is that you want to put your hopes first and choose someone to grow old with—and that's a wonderful thing!

You are naturally cautious, and when we judge this person, I will first throw in the age to see if this is the person you want to be with in the future.

You may have been in contact with this person for a while now, and you feel that this person is an excellent choice! They are enthusiastic and like to chat, and you can get caught up in it.

Then in the long run, is such a person with such a warm personality the kind of partner we want to find in the future? Absolutely!

It's so important to make a good impression! Whether you're meeting someone for the first time or starting a relationship, this is the perfect way to start.

First, we have to be interested in the other person before we can look forward to continuing our journey with them!

So in the near future, you feel that this person is still quite interesting and enthusiastic. Even if you are relatively cold towards him, he is still enthusiastic, which is great!

This is one aspect of his enthusiastic performance that we have observed. Then there is the issue of a working relationship between the two of you, because he is the one who receives you both, and in fact, your ranks may be relatively high.

Then the big question is: is his enthusiasm really because he is also very interested in you? Or are you just a superior and subordinate relationship, or a partnership?

He is a very warm person, and this is his personality, so he probably treats others in the same way—and it's a wonderful thing!

This is what we need to distinguish. So at the end, we actually talked about the fact that you unilaterally think you like him very much and that you think he is very good. You're worried that he is too young, but you're excited to see where this goes!

Then my advice to you is to judge this person first based on the content above. If

Absolutely! We've decided.

I really want to spend a long time with this person and I don't want to miss out!

If that's the case, then we can definitely go out with him once! You can invite him to dinner or go out and have fun. You'll really shine in a relaxed setting!

And then there's the fact that we like him! But what does he think of us?

And what impression we get is also something that needs to be judged objectively. You can't say that one person's feelings are the only ones that matter – there are so many other factors to consider!

Work hard! It's a two-way street.

And you also hope to reach the ultimate goal of getting married! For his age, he is actually only 24 years old!

Oh, I'd love to know what he thinks about getting married!

We can also find out whether there is such an intention and when it will happen!

We can also listen to his thoughts!

In this way, we can first put this in perspective, which is really exciting!

Calm your restless mind by conquering your insecurity!

Then, based on the actual situation, we can judge whether this person is the one we are looking for—and it's going to be a resounding "yes!"

I truly believe that by doing this, we can gain a deeper understanding of the role this person plays in our lives and whether they fit into our life plan. So, let's respect our true inner feelings!

And don't forget to respect the other person's feelings!

I'm sure you'll find the answer you're looking for when you communicate more objectively about your relationship!

The great news is that age is not a problem!

The focus is on our life plan, on the thoughts others give us, and on our judgment of the person as a whole. This is where it gets exciting!

Then, follow up on how you talked to him. And see if this person is reliable in all aspects of his behavior!

And the big question is: are all aspects of his behavior reliable?

I'm excited to help you organize your questions in writing and work together to find targeted solutions!

I'm excited to hear your reply! Wishing you all the best!