What should I do if my daughter's name is misunderstood as being patriarchal?

Greetings. I am a heart coach. Life is a beautiful journey, not for appreciation, but for blossoming.

I empathize with your situation. It is understandable that being questioned about "son preference" could evoke strong emotions and cause concern about its potential impact on your child's well-being, particularly if it leads to feelings of fear or anxiety.

It is inevitable that every individual will be subject to criticism. Let us engage in a constructive dialogue to address your concerns.

The persistence of traditional thinking and stereotypes

Some individuals posit that having both a son and a daughter forms the Chinese character for "good," while others argue that a son is the face of the family and carries on the clan's legacy. Still others assert that a daughter is preferable, as she is a close and caring daughter.

In summary, it can be stated that there is a diversity of opinions and beliefs held by individuals in China. The influence of feudal thinking, which has been a prominent aspect of Chinese culture for the past 5,000 years, can still be observed in the attitudes and perceptions of the general public.

Similarly, backward ideas such as the belief that the absence of a male heir signifies the extinction of the family line, and the contemporary phenomenon of discrimination and intimidation experienced by individuals at the hands of their neighbors, persist. It will require a significant investment of time for these ideas and concepts to undergo a complete transformation. As individuals expand their knowledge base and expand their understanding of the world, they will gradually disavow these remnants of feudalism.

A name is not only a symbol of an individual, but also represents the imprints of a certain era. For example, "National Day," "pillar," "red," "plum," and "beautiful" all represent the background of an era.

Similarly, the names "Zhao Di" and "Ying Di" also represent the same historical significance and can be understood in a sense as "collective consciousness."

Collective consciousness can be defined as the collective members' understanding and identification with the collective's goals, beliefs, values, norms, and so forth. Folkways and customs are typical manifestations of collective consciousness.

2. The child's name reflects the parents' expectations for them.

As previously stated, the names of your two daughters, Zhaodi and Yingdi, were chosen with the intention of signifying the hope for a son. This is a common expectation among parents, with the exception that you expressed your desire for a son in the names of your daughters.

You have indicated that you hold a preference for boys over girls and have also acknowledged that you did not anticipate having a daughter when you initially began trying to conceive. However, you have expressed immense affection for her since her birth. Given your personal bond with your children, it is evident that you hold a profound attachment to them.

Furthermore, you have observed the affectionate relationship between the three siblings. This will likely foster an even greater sense of affection for them.

Some individuals perceive a name as a "curse word" that is invoked by others. Furthermore, individuals do not exist in isolation; as they age, they establish relationships with numerous individuals.

It is inevitable that one will receive comments and evaluations from others.

Many adults are referred to as "Yang Wei," and they have no difficulty reading the characters. However, when they are called out, it is easy to make people think of "impotence." Currently, you are being questioned by your colleagues and those around you about "son preference," and you find this situation untenable.

It is not implausible that your children will be subjected to inquiries from their peers or colleagues as they mature. The pivotal question is whether persistent questioning will prompt your children to engage in self-evaluation and subsequently diminish their self-esteem, leading them to believe that they are not expected or desired, or that their parents hold negative sentiments towards them.

If one can ensure that these occurrences will not transpire, it is possible to believe that one has the capacity to safeguard the individuals in question or to have confidence in their self-assurance. In such a case, one may choose to disregard the matter entirely.

If you are also concerned about their future, you can anticipate the potential outcome and consider what you can do now to prepare for the future.

To illustrate, modifying one's child's name, despite the challenges involved, is a relatively minor sacrifice when weighed against the long-term benefits for the child's physical and mental well-being. Similarly, consistently demonstrating unwavering love and support for one's children fosters their growth into self-assured and resilient individuals.

It is important to note that even if one is able to tolerate the gossip and judgment of others, it is crucial to recognize that children may not possess the capacity to withstand such treatment.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned information is beneficial to you. The world and I love you.

Should you wish to pursue this discussion further, you are invited to follow my personal page, entitled "Heart Exploration Service."

Hello!

Thank you so much for your honesty! You have expressed the thoughts of many people who are afraid to speak up. I will also speak honestly from my perspective as a woman.

You are a father of three wonderful children, two beautiful girls and one adorable boy. Your eldest daughter, Zhaodi, is 10 years old, and your second daughter, Yingdi, is 6 years old.

After three pregnancies, we finally had a boy! We're still thinking of a name, and my colleagues and friends are excited to hear what names I plan to give to my two girls.

If you don't plan to change, they will think that your family values boys over girls. You admit that you value boys over girls, but you don't value girls over boys. This is your chance to change that!

If your family doesn't value boys over girls, then it means that you see boys and girls as equally important, which is great! But if you value boys over girls, then in your heart, you see boys and girls as not equal. Since you value boys over girls, how can you not value girls lightly?

It doesn't matter how much you value your daughter and how much you care for her—your scale is not level, it is tilted! The idea of "valuing girls less" only arises in comparison with boys. As long as there is inequality, there will be comparison, and it is inevitable that one side will be weighted more heavily than the other.

Because this is a comparative term, there is a comparison and a tilting of the balance, which is why the term exists. It's a set phrase, not something that can be broken down and understood separately, because the comparison of "重男(male) 轻女(female)" shows that you are "轻女(female)."

In traditional Chinese families, many people value boys over girls. But don't worry! Those colleagues who say you value boys over girls are not necessarily like that themselves. It is still a male-dominated society. I am a woman, and although I also want gender equality, the reality is that it is not equal. But it will be!

It's not easy for women to achieve the same status as men in society, but it is possible!

When a person is born, it's a joyous occasion! The difference in names according to gender is obvious. Boys are named Chang, Yong, Qiang, Sheng, Feng, etc., which indicate prosperity, bravery, and strength, and imply that the family will thrive and prosper.

Girls are named Yan, Juan, Mei, Jing, and Jiao, which are indicative of beauty, gentleness, and virtue, and mean soft and gentle. This name conforms to social expectations, because society's expectations of men and women are inherently different—and it's a wonderful thing!

Parents give their children names, and what names! The eldest daughter is named "Zhaodi," which means "welcoming a younger brother," and the second daughter is named "Yingdi." If the daughters don't object and like their names, and if they don't cause trouble in their future studies and lives, then it's fine not to change them!

Oh, the possibilities are endless! What if they don't like their names? What if they already feel discriminated against by their classmates, teachers, and school because of their names?

I'm sure you'd never change their names! And what if your daughter grew up to resent you for the difficulties her name caused her?

Guess what! Having a younger brother has nothing to do with who is given what name, rationally and scientifically speaking. "Zhaodi" and "Yingdi" had a younger brother, and you think it has to do with the name. It's your expectations that have caused you to think subjectively.

You even admit that it was selfish of you to change her name!

Guess what! Zhaodi had an opinion about her name two years after starting school. You can ask her if she was also teased at school like you were by the people in the unit because her name was labeled "patriarchal."

After the birth of her younger brother, she was absolutely thrilled and said that she would also have an opinion on the name of her younger brother, because her own name was for her younger brother, which shows that Zhaodi values names.

In a family with many children, it's simply not possible for parents to treat each of their little ones equally. Inevitably, there will always be one child that they value more than the others. As parents, we want all our children to grow up happy and healthy. And that's a wonderful thing!

As the children grow up, they will embark on a journey of self-discovery as they leave the comfort of home to forge their own paths, surrounded by friends, teachers, and classmates who will shape their future. They will also encounter a world beyond their family, where their names will be judged accordingly. But with courage and resilience, they will face these challenges head-on, ready to embrace the exciting opportunities that await them.

Your eldest daughter is called "Zhaodi," and your second daughter is called "Yingdi." This name really gives people a handle, which is great because it means you can stand up for yourself! You also face bias from colleagues, family members, your wife, and your daughters, but you can handle it because you're a strong person.

If you have the ability to do something, you won't be labeled as "patriarchal." So, what are you willing to do?

The world and I love you!

Hello! Thanks so much for your question.

First of all, I deeply understand your current situation and feelings. As a father, you have a deep love for your children, and I admire your dedication to them. Now, you are facing some challenges because of your children's names, which has undoubtedly caused you a lot of distress and pressure.

Not only do you feel personally aggrieved by this misunderstanding, but more importantly, you are worried that it will have a negative impact on the children's development. I fully understand your concerns and helplessness. This is the deep concern of a father for the future growth of his children, and I am excited to help you navigate it!

I have to tell you—you are an amazing father! You are responsible, caring, and patient.

You have always played an important role in your children's development, providing them with solid support and care. You have also shown great care and attention in the upbringing and education of your daughters, and it's so inspiring to see how you've nurtured them to become educated and refined ladies!

At the same time, you wholeheartedly respect the wishes and choices of your children. For example, when it came to naming your younger brother, you were eager to listen to Zhaodi's suggestions, which reflects your democratic approach to education and open-minded family atmosphere.

When faced with misunderstandings and questions from the outside world, you didn't run away or stay silent. You took the initiative to find a solution, which is a great example of your strength and courage. As a father, your resilience and determination will inspire your children to tackle challenges head-on.

I would love to give you some advice on the current situation! First, you can have an in-depth conversation with your children to find out their true thoughts and feelings about the name.

Zhaodi has come a long way! She had some reservations about her name before, but now she's happy that it's related to her younger brother's. This is great, but we still need to address the issue.

As children grow up, they may think and feel more about their names. This is a great opportunity for you to communicate with them honestly!

Here's another great idea! You can look for a more neutral name with your kids that won't be misunderstood. This way, you can avoid any confusion from the outside world and make your kids feel respected and involved in the decision-making process.

You can even discuss and choose a new name together with your children! This is a great way to show them that democracy and respect are alive and well in your family.

Ultimately, it's so important to make sure your children feel your love and support, no matter what decision you make!

You can help them build a rock-solid sense of self-worth through daily care, encouragement, and education. This way, they'll understand that their name is not the only measure of their value. At the same time, you should also teach them how to face and deal with external comments and misunderstandings. This will help them cultivate their self-confidence and strength!

And there's more! I'd also like to remind you that external discussions and doubts are inevitable, but you can choose how to face them. Stay calm and rational, respond to misunderstandings and doubts with facts and actions, and believe that time and your sincerity will prove everything!

In conclusion, I want to say it again: you are an amazing father, and your children love you so much! No matter what challenges you face, if you stay united with your kids, you can overcome anything and build a brighter future together.

I really hope these suggestions are helpful for you! And I wish you a happy family and healthy, happy children!

At the same time, I really hope you can understand that although a name is important, it is not the only factor that determines a person's future. What is much more important is your love, education, and support for your children!

As long as you keep on giving them love and guidance, they will absolutely become talented, virtuous, and confident people! And in the process, any misunderstandings and doubts from the outside world will just dissipate over time, leaving only the deep family bonds and beautiful memories between you and your children.

The world and I love you!

Have a pleasant weekend.

From the detailed account of the situation, it is evident that your daughter's name has led to certain perceptions about you, suggesting a preference for sons over daughters. However, you believe that while you do favor sons, you do not discriminate against daughters.

Furthermore, your daughter is accustomed to her name, and it would be a significant undertaking to change it. Should she desire a name change, she is free to do so when she reaches adulthood.

You are seeking guidance on how to address any potential misunderstanding regarding your preference for sons over daughters, and your desire to avoid being labelled as having a bias towards sons. This issue is multifaceted, encompassing your personal views, external perceptions, and your interpretation of these views.

Let's proceed in a step-by-step manner.

Firstly, let us discuss your views on this matter. You have acknowledged that you hold your son in higher regard than your daughter.

Furthermore, you would not treat your two daughters poorly simply because you have a son. You believe that both names are suitable, given that they attracted the attention of the individuals who welcomed the arrival of your younger brother. You would be unhappy to change them.

Regarding your daughter's thoughts, your eldest daughter is sensible and has formed an opinion about her name. However, you have successfully influenced her to accept her name. This is your own view and explanation of the situation. The core of it is that you value your son more than your daughter.

The question of whether your thoughts are right or wrong is irrelevant. This is a choice you have made from your own standpoint.

Furthermore, there is the perspective of those involved. Every society has a set of prevailing social values and a default moral code.

With regard to the preference for boys over girls, our ancestors placed a higher value on boys because they were seen as the future of the family line. This concept remains prevalent today, with the corresponding concepts, ideas, and customs still exerting a significant influence.

If they have the option of having either a boy or a girl, many people would prefer to have a boy. This is a reality that must be acknowledged.

However, over the past century, there has been a significant shift in attitudes towards gender equality. For decades, there has been a vocal movement advocating for the equality of women and men, and for the importance of gender parity in society. Despite this, there remains a discrepancy between the espoused values and the actual beliefs of individuals. While many may espouse the view that men and women are equal and advocate for gender equality, there is still a tendency to perceive a preference for sons over daughters. This perception, however, does not necessarily align with the actual beliefs of individuals.

It is, therefore, a contradictory situation. On the one hand, it is widely acknowledged that we are living in a new society, where men and women are equal and have achieved remarkable feats.

Nevertheless, I still hope to have a son. It is acceptable if you do not have a daughter, but it is preferable to have one.

As you mentioned previously, your colleagues expressed their best wishes for the birth of a third child, but then you did have a boy, and they were all somewhat perplexed by the situation, accusing you of being a patriarchal sexist.

This is the reality of the situation. Typically, there is a constant struggle between traditional values and modern ideas, with the two value systems in constant opposition. While it may appear that your colleagues are gossiping about you, the truth is that our entire society has conflicting views on this matter.

The personal impact is that colleagues will use this set of conflicting values to evaluate others, just as they evaluate you. There is nothing wrong with stating this.

Thirdly, your perspective on the views of others. It is not possible to alter the opinions of your colleagues.

Thirdly, it is important to consider how your colleagues may perceive your views. It is not possible to alter the opinions of your colleagues.

However, we have taken action, and as a result, we no longer have control over this matter. Different individuals will now have varying opinions. This is similar to how your daughter's name, Zhaodi, is perceived. Once a name is publicly known, it is no longer solely associated with your family or your daughter. It becomes part of a larger social evaluation system where everyone can assess it and have their own opinions.

It is important to note that unless the statements in question constitute slander or another illegal act, they are a matter of morality, which is beyond our control. Furthermore, the law does not have the authority to intervene in this matter. It is crucial to recognize that if our actions or statements deviate from the accepted standards of social conduct, we will inevitably face negative consequences.

In other words, regardless of your intentions for naming your two daughters Yingdi and Yingdi, the prevailing social value system will likely perceive this as a negative act. This is because it does not align with the dominant social value of gender equality.

At this juncture, you have two options. You can either accept the negative comments about mainstream social values and focus on your own way of life, stating, "You are entitled to your opinion, but I will continue to live my life as I see fit, regardless of the impact on you. Alternatively, you can adjust to mainstream social values to avoid negative judgment. For instance, you could consider changing the names of your two daughters."

If our two daughters' names were not Zhaodi and Yingdi, and you, the third child, gave birth to a son, other people might say at most that you prefer boys. However, they would not necessarily conclude that you are patriarchal.

In light of the gender order of multiple sisters, with the youngest being regarded as the brother, it is evident that societal expectations play a significant role. I am aware that in numerous instances, families lacking a male child are subjected to discriminatory treatment.

We are a family of three sisters and one brother. During our formative years, our family was subjected to significant social disapproval. Even before the birth of our younger brother, individuals in our community made light of the prospect of us marrying into their family.

I am the eldest sibling, with a 11-year age difference between me and my younger brother. When people become aware of this age difference, they often remark that my brother must have been particularly indulged.

It is not possible to change the opinions of others.

It is important to understand that the comments made by others about your situation have no bearing on your personal circumstances. They are simply offering their perspective on a particular situation, and you have simply experienced a similar outcome. It is not reasonable to expect them to alter their views at the same time, as this is a common occurrence and will likely continue to happen in the future, particularly when your child begins to interact with others in social settings. It is inevitable that they will be judged based on their names. It is possible that your child will hear these comments, and it is also possible that they will not. However, there is little that can be done to prevent society from forming judgments. In this situation, you have two options: either you can choose to do your own thing and let them say what they want, or you can choose not to explain it to them. It is futile to try to explain the situation to them, as they will likely say whatever they want, and it will not affect you anyway.

You must allow your words and actions to align with the dominant value system in order to reduce the number of negative comments, such as changing your daughter's name. This may result in a sense of being constrained, but in the context of a strong value system, individuals have limited autonomy.

I am a licensed psychological counselor with a fluctuating mood. I am currently experiencing depressive episodes, but I also have periods of positive affect.

I empathize with your current confusion and struggle. As the father of three children, you not only have to give them enough love and care in your daily life, but also face the doubts and prejudices of the outside world because of their names.

I can imagine that this pressure makes you feel anxious.

First and foremost, it is only natural for everyone to have their own expectations and preferences for their family and children. There is absolutely no need to feel ashamed or self-blame. As a father, you naturally have good expectations for each child, and these expectations may differ depending on the child's gender, personality, or other factors.

However, this does not mean that your love and attention for a particular child will decrease. In fact, it is precisely because you love and expect so much from each child that you have placed special meaning and expectations in the names you have chosen.

It is also important to recognise that a name can carry a great deal of cultural and emotional significance. For children, their names may be more than just a symbol; they may also form part of their self-identity.

It is therefore possible that the misunderstanding caused by the outside world regarding your family and the names you have chosen for your children may have an impact on their mental health. In particular, if the names "Zhao Di" and "Ying Di" are interpreted as a preference for boys, this could potentially lead to feelings of neglect or unappreciation.

In view of your current situation, I respectfully suggest that you consider and act on the following:

It would be beneficial to embrace self-acceptance and respond in a positive manner.

Firstly, it would be beneficial to accept your preference for boys. This is not a mistake or a shameful thing. However, it is important to be clear that your love and attention for your daughter does not decrease as a result.

It might be helpful to communicate with those who have misunderstood you, in order to clarify your true thoughts and attitude. You could explain that the names "Zhao Di" and "Ying Di" were chosen with the best intentions for the family and the children, and that they were not intended to indicate a preference for boys.

It would also be beneficial to convey your love and attention to your daughters through your words and actions in daily life. Let them know that no matter what their names are, they are the most precious treasures in your heart.

2. It would be beneficial to communicate with your daughters.

It is important to communicate with your daughters and understand their views and feelings about their names.

If they feel that their name causes them distress or discomfort, it would be respectful to consider whether a change might be beneficial. In the process, it might be helpful to explain that a name is not everything, and that what is more important is the love and mutual care between you.

You might consider letting them know that no matter what, your love and attention for them will never change.

It seems that Zhaodi has already formed some opinions about her name and has expressed a desire to change it. This could be a sign that she would like your attention.

You might consider having an in-depth conversation with her to gain a better understanding of her reasons for wanting to change her name and to learn more about her thoughts on the new name. If she truly does not like the name "Zhaodi," you may wish to explore the possibility of giving her a new name.

This will not only meet her wishes, but also demonstrate your respect and love for her.

For Yingdi, although she is still young, it would be beneficial to consider her feelings. You may wish to inquire about her opinion on the name through indirect methods, such as asking about her opinion on her younger brother, her feelings about the family atmosphere, etc.

If she also dislikes the name, you might consider discussing with her at some point in the future whether a change is necessary.

3. It would be beneficial to place an emphasis on the value of equality in the family.

In your family, it would be beneficial to place an emphasis on the values of equality and respect. You can demonstrate these values through concrete actions, such as involving your daughters in family decision-making, encouraging them to express their thoughts and opinions, and giving them the same educational opportunities and resources as your younger son.

These actions have the potential to make your daughters feel important and valued in the family, and they may also encourage them to become more confident and independent. At the same time, these actions could also convey a message of equality in your family to the outside world, which might help to reduce any misunderstandings or prejudices.

4. It would be beneficial to consider ways of strengthening family cohesion and showing affection.

It may be helpful to view the family as a warm haven that needs cohesion and nourishment with love. You might consider enhancing the cohesion of the family by organizing family activities, participating in household chores together, and sharing each other's joys and sorrows.

It is also important to express your love for your children. This can be done in many ways, such as with a verbal compliment, a hug, or an encouraging look. Your children will feel your love and attention.

This expression of love not only enhances children's sense of security and self-confidence, but also contributes to a more warm and harmonious family atmosphere.

5. Try to remain true to your principles.

Ultimately, it is important to remain true to your principles, despite the influence of external views and comments. While these external factors may have an impact on you, it is essential to maintain your commitment to your beliefs and practices regarding your family.

It is important to be clear about your values and goals and to work towards them consistently. At the same time, it is helpful to learn to ignore insignificant remarks and attacks and to maintain your own peace of mind and stability.

It is only through this approach that you can maintain composure and reason in the face of challenges, and foster a family environment imbued with love and respect for your children.

In short, as a father, it would be beneficial to take on your responsibilities and obligations to create a family environment full of love and respect for your children. Although a name is just a symbol, it carries a lot of cultural and emotional meaning.

It would be beneficial to eliminate any misunderstandings or prejudices about your family through active communication and actions, so that your daughters can feel your love and attention. With your efforts, your family may become more harmonious, happy, and beautiful.

I am gratified to observe that you have sought assistance, and it is my hope that the information I am sharing will prove beneficial to you.

One can discern the love that a parent has for their children.

Although you had desired a son, this did not affect the love you had for your two daughters after they were born. Perhaps the moment you saw your two daughters come to you, your instinctive love as a father for your daughters far exceeded your gender-based concerns and attention.

Despite the presence of two well-behaved and admirable daughters, and the aspiration to have a son, which aligns with an inner desire for a son, it is probable that the desire for a son and a daughter is also present. The endearing nature of the daughters serves to reinforce this aspect of the inner desire and expectation, leading to the decision to have a third child. What are your thoughts on this matter?

Indeed, parents typically aspire for their children to possess not only a distinctive name but also one that reflects their own positive sentiments and blessings. In particular, parents hope that their children will be able to overcome their own shortcomings and address their regrets.

Nevertheless, as long as parents are aware of this aspect and it does not negatively impact their affection for their children, particularly if the child does not perceive discrimination, dislike, or lack of love from their parents, there is no cause for concern. External opinions from others will not influence the parent-child relationship because the child will assess whether they are a person who meets their parents' expectations and whether they are loved and valued based on their feelings and the way their parents treat them.

The arrival of the child has been observed to elicit a range of emotional responses from the family, including surprise and delight. However, it is important to note that the love and attachment displayed by the older siblings towards the younger child does not necessarily indicate a genuine emotional connection. It is possible that their behaviour is driven by a fear of being abandoned, neglected or ignored, which may manifest in various ways, including displays of affection and compliance.

What are your thoughts on this matter?

It is important to recognize that the arrival of a new sibling is often a surprising and unexpected event for the entire family. However, it can also potentially lead to an unconscious competition between existing siblings, particularly if the new sibling requires more care and attention than the older children. This can result in parents inadvertently dedicating more time and energy to the newborn, which may inadvertently lead to neglect of the older children. The older children may not express their feelings of neglect or competition out of their own fear. Instead, they may resort to suppressing, hiding, or using other means to gain attention, such as refusing to go to school, not eating properly, throwing tantrums, needing to be accompanied by parents when going to bed, and damaging their younger brother's toys.

As parents, it is crucial to be attuned to your daughters' emotional state and to prioritize their company, including quality time spent together in their presence. This will help them feel valued and loved. It is essential to reassure your daughters that their parents' love and care for them remains undiminished despite the arrival of a younger sibling. This will help them overcome any fear or anxiety that they may have about being abandoned or unloved due to the homophony of their names.

It can be reasonably assumed that the aforementioned individuals will not only be able to accept and like their name, but will also love their younger brother even more.

Good day. I am Strawberry.

The Chinese characters are profound and profound. It is not uncommon for the same words to be interpreted in different ways. When individuals hold disparate views on a matter, their understanding of it will naturally vary.

The questioner is troubled by being evaluated as patriarchal because of their names.

The questioner has three children, two of whom are daughters. The source of the questioner's distress is the names of her two daughters. The names the questioner gave her daughters at the time were chosen with expectations and hopes, because the questioner desired a boy more than a girl.

The names given to the two daughters by the questioner were intended to symbolize the anticipation of a younger brother. Following the birth of the questioner's son, the questioner's colleague proposed that the names be altered, asserting that the failure to do so would constitute son preference.

In response to the suggestions and comments of his colleagues, the questioner offers a differing perspective. He asserts that although he has given his daughter such a name, he does not demonstrate a preference for sons over daughters. The reason he does not align with his colleagues' assessment that he shows preference for sons over daughters is because the questioner has a different understanding of preference for sons over daughters.

If a father treats his three children differently, paying more attention to his son and neglecting his two daughters, then he is, in fact, engaging in son preference. He has fulfilled his responsibilities as a father towards them.

She rejected her colleague's suggestions because she was confident in her own understanding and thoughts. Furthermore, when her child expressed an opinion about the name, she used her own ideas to try to influence her daughter's thinking. The results indicate that the questioner's daughter also accepted her name in the end.

It is reasonable to inquire whether it is appropriate to make judgments about individuals based on their names alone, particularly in regard to their preference for sons over daughters.

It is erroneous to categorize individuals based solely on their actions, as this approach is both unjust and inaccurate. To obtain a genuine understanding, it is essential to examine one's own perspective and biases.

The same thing can have different definitions in the minds of different people. This phenomenon is related to the concepts that each person has been instilled with, the perceptions formed through contact with people, and the education they have received.

The original poster (OP) expresses distress when colleagues comment that she is patriarchal. She perceives that she has been unfairly labeled based solely on the name she gave her daughter. It can be argued that this is a matter of differing mindsets and opinions.

To determine whether son preference exists, one must consider a few key questions. If financial resources were limited, and only one child could be sent to school, which child would the questioner choose to provide that opportunity to? (It is unnecessary to consider real-life issues such as age.) When the children are fighting over the same toy, would the questioner instruct the sisters to give it to the younger brother?

At what point will the dowry prepared by the questioner for his daughter be equal to that prepared for his son, given that the children will reach marriageable age at different times?

☀️Be confident: When the original poster treats all three children equally, it demonstrates that having a son is a personal aspiration and that this pursuit will not result in discrimination between daughters and sons.

The name of the daughter is said to bring a younger brother. Despite the fact that the decision to have a boy or a girl is determined by the physical condition of the parents, this way can provide comfort and hope. As long as the child can accept it, then in the face of negative comments from colleagues, the questioner does not need to care too much. Instead, they should continue to be a responsible father, affirm their own persistence, and defeat others' out-of-context interpretation of their name with practical actions.

It is important to understand oneself and recognize that a name is merely a code that represents a person. If one is content with their name and desires for others to address them by a different moniker, they have the option of assuming a pen name, nickname, or pet name.

In response to her daughter's reservations about her name, the questioner's approach was to allow her daughter to accept it. However, it is unclear whether the questioner's daughter has genuinely accepted this decision. From my perspective, if one cares about something, it is not easy to let it go.

My name was also bestowed upon me by my parents with the intention of naming their subsequent child. It is a name that is strongly associated with masculinity. After I was born, my parents did indeed have another son. When I reached adulthood and developed a strong opinion about my name, my parents disagreed with my desire to change it. They believed that my name was responsible for bringing about the birth of my younger brother. Despite appearing to accept my name after reaching adulthood, I consistently held reservations about why my parents placed such importance on it. This was particularly true given the positive connotations they attributed to it. They compelled me not to alter my name.

Similarly, when their daughter expressed an opinion about her name, why did the original poster not respect her child's perspective the first time, but instead attempted to persuade her on numerous occasions? What impact did it have on the original poster whether or not the child's name was changed?

One must endeavor to discern the true thought of the questioner. To do so, one must look to one's own heart and understand oneself in the answer.

It is my hope that my response will prove beneficial to the individual who posed the question. Sincerely,

It is important to recognize that a name is a person's identity, and that it plays a significant role in shaping a person's self-esteem and self-identity. Traditionally, there has been a tendency to favor boys over girls. However, with the advancement of society and the evolution of concepts, gender equality has emerged as a widely accepted principle. Consequently, in the face of external misunderstandings and discussions, it is essential to adopt a measured and constructive approach to navigate these challenges.

1. **Positive communication**: It is important to communicate positively with colleagues and friends to explain your thoughts and position. This will help them to understand that you do not look down on your daughters just because you have a son.

2. It is recommended that the concept of gender equality in the family be conveyed through education and daily behavior, with the objective of ensuring that your daughters perceive themselves as important members of the family regardless of their gender.

3. **Respect your daughters' wishes**: If your daughters have an opinion about their names, it is recommended that you communicate with them to gain insight into their thoughts and demonstrate respect for their choices. If they express a desire to change their names, it is advisable to provide support for their decision.

4. Positive Family Education: Through family education, it is possible to cultivate daughters' self-confidence and independence, and to instill in them the understanding that, regardless of their names, they are all unique individuals worthy of respect and love.

5. Social Perception Guidance: It is recommended that parents actively guide and disseminate the concept of gender equality in social interactions, reduce gender bias, and create a more equitable and inclusive environment for their daughters to grow up in.

6. **Personal growth**: It is recommended that parents encourage their daughters to pursue personal growth and development, whether in their studies, interests, or careers. Additionally, parents should let their daughters know that gender is not a limitation, but rather, can be surpassed.

7. Legal Protection: In the event of encountering serious gender discrimination or slander, it is possible to seek legal protection for oneself and one's daughters.

8. Reconsideration of the Name: Despite the initial indication that the name is to remain unchanged, it may be advisable to consider whether any modifications could be beneficial, particularly in view of the potential psychological and social implications for the daughters.

Ultimately, it is crucial for the father to recognize the significance of gender equality and to demonstrate a willingness to advocate for the advancement and well-being of his daughters. This represents a highly encouraging development.

It is my contention that, through your positive actions and influence, you can effect a gradual change in the misunderstandings held by the outside world and thereby create a healthy and positive environment for your daughters to grow up in.

Hello, landlord. I understand your frustration after reading your description. I am confident that my suggestions will help. It is unacceptable that your daughter's name has been misunderstood as patriarchal.

I have some suggestions to help you deal with this situation.

Understand the cause of the misunderstanding.

1. Cultural background of the name: Understand and analyze the cultural background and meaning of your daughter's name. If the name itself has a specific cultural or historical background, explain this background to eliminate any misunderstandings.

2. Social perceptions: Misunderstandings can also result from social stereotypes and prejudices. Understanding this will help you deal with them more effectively.

2. Communicate proactively.

1. Explain the meaning of the name. Make sure those who misunderstand you understand the true meaning of your daughter's name and the reasons for your choice of name. Explain the deeper meaning and good omens behind the name to help others understand your original intentions.

2. Clarify misunderstandings: Take the initiative to clarify any misunderstandings in appropriate situations. For example, at gatherings with friends and family or at school parent-teacher meetings, explain the origin and meaning of the name in a relaxed and natural way.

3. Boost your daughter's self-confidence.

1. Give your daughter the tools she needs to build self-confidence. Tell her the beautiful meaning of her name and explain that a name is just a symbol. What matters is her inner qualities and abilities.

2. Encourage independent thinking. Develop your daughter's ability to think independently so that she can calmly deal with any misunderstandings and prejudices from the outside world. Encourage her to prove her worth through her actions and performance.

4. Seek support.

1. Family support: Face this problem together with your family, supporting and understanding each other. Your family's support and understanding will give you and your daughter more strength.

2. School and community support: If the misunderstanding arises at school or in the community, communicate with the teacher or community leader. They will support you and clarify the misunderstanding in an appropriate setting, eliminating unnecessary distress.

5. Confronting Social Prejudices

1. Educate others. Make sure the people around you understand and respect everyone's name and background. Educate people about name culture and gender equality in appropriate situations. This will help eliminate stereotypes and prejudices.

2. Get involved. Join activities or organizations that promote gender equality and cultural diversity. Take practical action to promote social understanding and inclusiveness.

You can effectively deal with this troubling situation by communicating openly, clarifying misunderstandings, boosting your daughter's self-confidence, and seeking support. I am confident that these suggestions will be helpful, and I wish you success in resolving this issue so that your daughter can grow up in an environment of understanding and support.

I am certain your efforts will bring about positive changes.

Dear Landlord, I have read your description and understand your current feelings. I hope my suggestions will be of assistance. It is true that facing the misunderstandings and comments of colleagues and friends can be upsetting and unsettling.

The following suggestions are intended to assist you in navigating the situation more effectively.

1. Gain an understanding of the concerns of colleagues and friends.

First, it is important to understand the concerns and advice of your colleagues and friends. They may be well-intentioned and want you to avoid unnecessary trouble and misunderstandings caused by the name.

Gaining an understanding of their perspective will assist you in maintaining composure and rationality in your communication.

2. State your position clearly.

1. Express your thoughts: Clearly express your views and decision on your child's name to colleagues and friends in an appropriate setting. Explain why you do not plan to change your daughters' names, for example, because you do not think it is necessary, the names have been used for so many years that you have an emotional connection with them, and your children can decide for themselves whether to change their names when they grow up.

2. Emphasize equality in the family. Clarify that although there was a preference for a boy, this does not indicate a lack of love or care for the two daughters. The love and care for the daughters will not change with the arrival of a son. A name is just a symbol and does not represent feelings for the children.

3. Consider your children's feelings.

It is important to respect your children's opinions. You mentioned that your eldest daughter, Zhaodi, had an opinion about the name, but it seems that she has now accepted it. You can continue to pay attention to her feelings and respect her opinions.

Should she express a desire to change her name at some point in the future, you can support her decision.

2. Cultivate your child's self-confidence. While names are important, it is more crucial for children to possess self-confidence and a sense of self-identity. You can assist children in developing self-confidence through positive guidance and education, ensuring they do not feel inferior or neglected due to their names.

4. Responding to External Criticism

1. Remain calm and confident: Remain calm and confident in the face of external comments and misunderstandings. You are fully aware of your family and your children, and you are well-positioned to determine what is best for them. Therefore, it is not necessary to prioritize the opinions of others.

2. There is no need to provide excessive detail. Providing too much information can lead to the perception that you are justifying your position. Instead, express your position clearly and concisely, avoiding unnecessary elaboration.

5. Long-term strategies

1. Family Harmony: It is important to maintain family harmony and demonstrate love and care for children. Family harmony and stability are key factors in children's growth and development.

2. Education and guidance: Through daily education and guidance, children can understand that a name is just a symbol, and that what matters is one's character and abilities. Cultivate their self-esteem and self-confidence, so that they can confidently face external evaluations.

It is crucial to maintain composure and self-assurance when confronted with the opinions of colleagues and friends. By clearly articulating your stance, respecting your children's perspectives, and fostering their self-assurance, these misunderstandings can be gradually resolved.

I hope these suggestions are helpful. I wish you and your family harmony and happiness, and your children healthy and happy growth. I believe that your decisions are based on what is best for your children, and that you should stand by your decisions and not be bothered by outside comments.

I am Li Di☀, the respondent in this encounter, and I am grateful for the opportunity to interact with you.

Firstly, I would like to extend my congratulations on the fulfilment of your wish. I also empathise with your current state of confusion. As a father, you have expressed your desire for a son in a forthright manner, and I can also see that you love and nurture your two daughters. However, the names you have chosen have historically led to others misunderstanding you, which has caused you distress. Now that national policy encourages triplets, your two daughters and a son is an optimal configuration. The only issue is the controversy surrounding your daughters' names, which causes you discomfort. I would like to offer you a hug. It is distressing for people when others misunderstand them to such a significant extent.

Let us examine the underlying psychological mechanisms that underpin your feelings and needs in order to facilitate a deeper understanding and acceptance of yourself.

First, your mention of your preference for a boy reflects a common social phenomenon in which many families may prefer to have a male heir. This preference may be attributed to deep-seated cultural and social values. It is important to note that this does not indicate a lack of love or value for female members; rather, it highlights the significance of gender roles and expectations in some cultures.

It is typical for individuals to express such desires in a forthright manner, which indicates a candid attitude toward one's emotions.

Secondly, your concern about the opinions of others reflects your concern about the family's reputation and social relationships. In many communities, the opinions of others can be a source of stress for individuals, especially when it comes to matters involving family and personal choices.

Such stress can result in anxiety and defensive reactions, particularly when confronted with criticism or misunderstandings.

Subsequently, you demonstrate profound concern for your daughters' emotional well-being and conduct. You observe your eldest daughter's response to the name and her subsequent positive shift in attitude following the birth of her younger brother, which illustrates your acute understanding of your children's emotional state.

This observation ability indicates that you are attentive to the children's behavior and emotional changes in their daily lives.

Furthermore, your expectations for your daughters' future development and your recognition of their personalities and achievements demonstrate your care and support for their growth. You hope to strengthen their self-confidence and self-esteem by cultivating them to become "little ladies," which is also your vision for their future as a father.

Ultimately, your comprehension of the traditional significance of names and your deference to your children's autonomy demonstrate that you have considered the paramount importance of cultural background and personal autonomy in decision-making. Your readiness to permit your children to determine for themselves in the future whether to alter their names evinces your respect for their individual rights.

It is evident that you have a profound affection for your children and a profound sense of responsibility as a father. It is also evident that you are experiencing confusion and dissatisfaction when faced with external doubts. Your situation is indeed somewhat complex. After all, everyone's values and lifestyles are different, and it is challenging for others to fully comprehend your genuine thoughts and feelings.

In this matter, it may be beneficial to consider the following aspects.

Communication and Education: It is evident that you have already expressed your love for your two daughters and your expectations for your son, which is of great importance. Concurrently, it is vital to communicate with family and friends in an honest manner, so that they are aware of your genuine thoughts.

It is important to note that education is not solely confined to the domain of formal schooling; rather, it encompasses a multitude of facets within the familial unit as well. This presents a valuable opportunity for parents to impart knowledge and guidance to their children, emphasizing that a name is merely a symbol and does not inherently define a person's value or dignity.

Additionally, it is important to convey to children that each individual possesses unique characteristics and value.

In traditional Chinese culture, there are specific naming customs that may convey particular meanings or expectations. For instance, names such as "招弟" and "迎弟" are believed to hold certain connotations. Parents can elucidate the significance of these traditions to their children, emphasizing that the intention behind these names is not to disparage them but to bestow positive blessings upon them.

As children mature, they develop greater self-awareness and may hold differing views regarding their names. It is beneficial to encourage them to articulate their opinions and provide support when appropriate.

Should they elect to alter their name in adulthood, it is advisable to respect their decision.

Social awareness: Despite the increasing openness and egalitarianism of modern society, traditional ideas still persist. It is important to demonstrate through one's actions that one loves all children equally and does not favor one over the other based on gender.

For example, it is recommended that parents provide their children with equal praise and rewards in public settings and ensure that both children feel loved.

The long-term psychological impact of a name is a significant factor to consider. If children are uncomfortable with their names or are teased by their peers, it could have a detrimental effect on their self-esteem.

It is therefore important to maintain an open mind, pay close attention to the emotional state of the children, and consider their mental health when necessary.

In conclusion, the inner conflict may originate from a sense of tradition, a desire to maintain family happiness, and concerns about external evaluation. When addressing these issues, it is essential to strike a balance between these factors and to ensure that the decision is based on love for the children and consideration for the overall happiness of the family.

It is reasonable to conclude that your feelings and decisions are based on a consideration of family harmony. Regardless of whether you elect to change your children's names, it is of the utmost importance to ensure that each child feels loved and respected.

The decision should be based on the best interests of the children, rather than on external pressures or traditional customs.

It is my sincere hope that this response is of some assistance to you. With best wishes for the future, *^O^*

I totally get where you're coming from as a dad. Naming a kid is a big deal, and every family has its own reasons and preferences.

From your description, it's clear that you would have loved to have a boy, but you didn't let that stop you from loving and celebrating your two daughters!

You've got some great reasons for keeping the names of your two daughters the same. Names are important, but what's even more important is the love and education that parents give their children!

If your kids are already used to their names and are happy with them, there's absolutely no need to change them just because someone else thinks they should!

In addition, you also mentioned that your eldest daughter Zhaodi's attitude towards her name has changed for the better! She went from being a bit critical to now accepting and liking it. And she's even happier because of the birth of her younger brother! This shows that children's views on names can change over time and with experience. They will gradually understand and accept the meaning behind their names.

Finally, regarding the label of "preferring sons to daughters," this is indeed a sensitive and complex topic. The good news is that in modern society, gender equality has become a consensus! However, we still have a way to go to eliminate some prejudices and misunderstandings.

As parents, we have the amazing opportunity to eliminate these prejudices and give each child equal love and attention. When we do this, external comments and accusations will have no significant impact on us or our children.

In short, as parents, we have the incredible opportunity to love and educate our children in our own way, free from outside interference and influence. I hope you can stand firm in your position and continue to give your children the amazing gift of selfless love and care.

Good morning. The long-awaited birth of a son is a joyous occasion. However, your colleagues' remarks about your preference for sons over daughters have caused you some concern.

It is notable that they expressed their hope for three boys before you disclosed your personal preferences. This indicates an understanding and approval of your wishes. However, the comments about your preference for sons over daughters are more akin to the application of social values and standards to judge and demand conformity from others. These are the prevailing social norms, and they dictate certain expectations.

Names are a highly personal matter and often reflect the wishes of the parents. They should be respected. For example, a name containing the words "fortune/wealth/riches/gold and silver" may indicate that the parents have aspirations for their child or family to be financially successful. This is not a cause for shame, but some may view it as excessive ambition.

It is not feasible to control the thoughts and opinions of others, so it is advisable not to devote excessive attention to these types of comments.

Many parents have specific preferences regarding the sex of their child, even if these preferences are not reflected in their choice of name. I have heard several friends express the hope for a boy or a girl, and when they gave birth to a child of the opposite sex, the mother even expressed frustration. However, just as you treat your daughter, parents will quickly develop a strong love for their child and will never treat their child lightly.

Your colleagues may have outdated biases due to past experiences with "son preference." There are families in real life that give preferential treatment to sons and unfairly treat daughters. Many people incorrectly assume that "son preference" is equivalent to "daughter preference." You can clarify with your colleagues that you value both sons and daughters and are happy to have children in the family.

By allowing your daughters to make the decision about whether or not to change their names, you are demonstrating respect for them as they grow into adulthood. When they understand that their parents care about them and show them respect, and when they feel their parents' love in their daily lives, they will have the security they need to navigate external voices of doubt. They will also have the strength to deal with it, and you can reassure your daughters that you are always there for them if they encounter any problems.

Hello, the topic starter! Your story is fascinating. It revolves around the names of your two daughters, "Zhao Di" and "Ying Di," and the topic of son preference. Son preference is not just directed at girls, but at all children, regardless of gender. Everyone should treat them equally, and I'm excited to hear more about your experience!

You've made your feelings known. You're absolutely not biased towards boys over girls, but you've been unfairly accused because of what someone else said. I can imagine it's tough for you. Many people believe that as long as parents give their children relatively special names, that is showing favouritism towards boys over girls. This can lead to some not-so-great opinions of you and even talk behind your back.

Many people think that this kind of name shows preference for male children, so when people mention this name, they associate it with something bad. I prefer to judge whether someone shows preference for male children not by what they say, but by what they do. If you show in your lives that you treat your children equally and without bias, then you are not considered to be showing preference for male children. I believe that your actions can also change the way many people think of you, which is really exciting!

If I were someone who just met your daughter, I would think that you prefer boys to girls when I hear her name, but these things can be explained. If your daughter really can't accept her name, then respect her. After all, everyone has the right to think and make their own decisions independently, and that's a wonderful thing!

As a father, you have the amazing opportunity to explain clearly to everyone that you don't favor boys over girls, you simply like boys. You can choose to ignore those groundless accusations. After all, other people have their own mouths and they can say whatever they want, and there's nothing we can do to control it.

I really hope you can continue to live happily with your family!

Dear Question Asker, Thank you for your inquiry. Best regards, [Name] [Title]

You are fortunate to have three children, and it is evident that you derive great joy from your family life.

As a result of the controversy surrounding your choice of name for your child, you have become the subject of criticism and misunderstanding.

Do you experience discomfort when you are the subject of inquiries or when you perceive the gaze of others to be somewhat unusual? You do not perceive yourself to be the "lighter daughter" that others have referred to you as. How do you view this situation?

It would be beneficial to ascertain the nature of your feelings and expectations regarding your son and daughter. However, it is often the case that individuals' true thoughts are obscured by the influence of external factors, such as societal pressures and the expectations of others.

In other words, on the conscious level, you may not believe that you have belittled your daughter as others have suggested. However, it is important to consider the impact on the subconscious level. This can only be experienced and felt slowly by yourself.

The subconscious mind is deeply hidden and not easily detected, but there are no traces of it. However, it can be detected through observation of the daughter's feelings towards the father and her attitude towards her younger brother.

A name is merely a code, and the father-daughter relationship will remain unaffected. A daughter can also receive substantial love and confidence.

However, if the opposite is true, the daughter will develop resentment and a sense of inferiority, which could have a negative impact on her personal growth and future prospects.

It is not necessary to consider the opinions of others; however, it is important to understand your daughter's perspective. If you attempt to impose your will on your daughter, she may eventually rebel and cause you significant distress.

Please consider whether you would still have the same level of affection for your daughter if she were to exhibit a sudden change in behavior, becoming unruly and out of your control.

Best regards,

Hello, my dear friend. I'm Phil, and I'm here for you.

I can see you're feeling a little sad about this.

Our society is actually very sensitive to patriarchal messages.

This is especially true when it comes to similar names.

After all, in places we don't know,

It's so sad that many people persecute women and name children in similar ways in order to have a boy.

So, it's totally normal for everyone to have this attitude in such an environment.

It's totally normal, don't worry!

As you said yourself quite frankly,

I can see you did have such thoughts at first.

But it's only after you make the change that you might find yourself being a little more disrespectful to the other person.

But from another perspective, Chinese characters have been passed down for 5,000 years!

Each character is special and has its own unique meaning.

Maybe we only see the surface meaning of the word.

But they didn't realize that it also has another meaning.

Take the word "brother" (弟), for example. It's a word that usually makes us think of a younger brother or young boy.

It also has so many other lovely meanings, like filial piety, fraternal love, docility, and modesty in referring to oneself among friends.

It's actually a wonderful thing! It can reflect a person's character in such a beautiful way.

And you also mentioned that you would actually feel very uncomfortable at first, which is totally understandable!

But then, over time, I came to accept it.

It can be especially tough when a new little one arrives in the family.

People's attitudes have changed, and that's okay!

If you're concerned that your two daughters might have such thoughts,

You can tell him this way, if you like.

And as for those cold words you hear around you,

It can be divided into two categories: communicable and uncommunicable.

You can definitely communicate this in a way that they can understand.

For instance, you could try saying something like this:

You always think of me as the only one with this name, sweetheart.

And you're making a big deal of the birth of a daughter, even though you've always wanted a boy.

I just wanted to let you know that in ancient China, the word "brother" had a really lovely meaning.

It's used to describe the wonderful qualities of a person.

And, as if that wasn't enough, my two daughters have brought me a third boy!

That just goes to show how lucky my two daughters are!

And I'll cherish them even more!

I'm sure you're wondering how having a boy could lead to neglecting them.

I really hope my answer can help you!

I love you so much, and so does the world!

Hello, question asker! I'm Evan, a consultant in the School of Fine Distinctions.

From what the questioner has shared, I can sense the anxiety he's feeling. It's only natural to care more about what others think of us when it comes to relationships.

I totally get where the questioner is coming from as a dad. When you name your kids, you want to give them some meaning through their names.

Names are so important to us as people. The literal meanings of the names "招弟" (Zhao Di) and "迎弟" (Ying Di) given to the author's two daughters might make people think that she has a patriarchal concept of the world. But it's clear from the author's description that she loves her children very much, including her two daughters.

It's so sad when colleagues and friends misunderstand and comment on the name the questioner gave her daughter. From my own perspective, the name the questioner gave her daughter is a reflection of her inner expectations, not a sign of son preference.

It's so important to understand why our colleagues and friends have such strong opinions about us. It's something we all need to be aware of when we're dealing with other people. Do you know your own inner patterns? And do you tend to please other people too much?

If you can, it'd be great if you could chat with your colleagues and friends who might have some questions about you. They might be wondering why you chose the name you did for your child. It'd also be lovely if you could tell them a bit about why you chose it and what you hope for your child.

I'm sure that through communication, they'll be able to understand the author's position and feelings better.

The questioner mentioned in the article that her eldest daughter had once expressed some disappointment with her name. This shows that the name has had a certain negative impact on her, which is totally understandable! In addition, the second daughter is still young and may not yet understand the meaning of her name, but she may also question her name when she grows up.

The questioner doesn't want her daughters to face any negative influences because of their names. She also wants to teach them how to deal with any misunderstandings. She'll tell them that their names are just a code and don't represent their value or status.

At the same time, it's so important to encourage them to build self-confidence and self-esteem. We really don't want other people's opinions to dictate their lives, do we?

It's true that changing a name can be a bit of a hassle. If your daughters grow up and have a problem with their names, they may feel troubled and uneasy. If the name has a negative impact on the child's growth, then changing the name is definitely worthwhile!

It's so important to communicate with your children and find out what they really think about the name. If they're open to changing it, the questioner can help them do that.

As for what others think, it's probably best not to worry too much about that. What really matters is that you love and educate your children in a way that feels right for you.

The questioner can show his love and care for his daughters in so many ways! He can spend more time with them, encourage them to pursue their interests, and give them all the support and care they need.

This will let your daughters feel the love and attention of the questioner, which will help them feel better about the name. As long as the questioner treats each child fairly and shows your love with practical actions, the outside world's comments will naturally disappear.

We all know how it goes. Sometimes, when faced with the comments of the crowd, it really can be described as "it is difficult to please everyone." When you try to satisfy one group of people, another group will come forward to express their own suggestions. The original poster should not care too much about the opinions and comments of others.

We all have different ideas and concepts, and we can't please everyone, but that's okay! The most important thing is to stick to your own principles and values, as well as your love and care for yourself and your family.

Let your actions show the world that you are a dad who loves his kids and treats them equally, rather than trying to please everyone else.

I also wanted to suggest that you don't worry too much about the gender of your son's name. It's great to choose a name that reflects what you want for your child, but it's also important to give him the freedom to grow and explore without feeling too pressured.

The questioner can look at some names with lovely meanings and positive energy to choose a great name for his son. I want to say again how much I admire the questioner as a father. It's so important to love and care for your child.

I really hope my answer is helpful!

Good day. I am a mindfulness coach, and I am privileged to offer you some counsel.

From your statements, it is evident that you have concerns. It is important to note that you love your children equally, regardless of their gender, and that you treat them with care. The external labels that others have placed on you do not affect your genuine feelings.

The preference for boys or girls varies from individual to individual. From a paternal perspective, communicating with boys of the same gender is more straightforward, while interacting with girls presents unique challenges.

From a male perspective, boys are often perceived as more powerful and capable of assuming family responsibilities. Consequently, even if the first two children are girls, they are still treated equally.

Concurrently, this anticipation has remained unwavering, and fortuitously, your third child is finally a boy, which elicits immense joy.

It is, however, possible to pay little attention to what outsiders think, although it is likely that they will continue to mention this in your ear or in the words and lines of their usual work, which will continue to make you feel very uncomfortable.

Indeed, it is evident that those outside the family unit lack the capacity to fully comprehend the nuances of the familial dynamic. It is therefore reasonable to assume that you have formulated a specific plan for the boys' subsequent development.

In your interactions with the girls, you have already discerned their strengths. You also perceive the unique charm of girls being girls and hope that your second daughter will be nurtured in a manner similar to that of your eldest daughter.

Indeed, your family of five constitutes the primary focus of our household.

It is futile to attempt to elucidate our collective perspective to those who are unable or unwilling to comprehend it. Each additional explanation will only serve to reinforce the perception that we are being unreasonable or engaging in futile debate. Consequently, even if our position is ultimately vindicated, we will be unable to provide a rationale that is both compelling and comprehensible to those who have failed to grasp our initial argument.

At this juncture, it is crucial to ascertain how one might effectively filter out the influence of external suggestions or opinions. This ability to discern and process information independently is a vital skill in the present context.

It is evident that you have been influenced by the words of others, prompting you to seek assistance from our platform in order to find ways to mitigate the interference from external sources.

Firstly, I would like to offer some advice regarding your family, as previously mentioned. It is only we ourselves who are able to ascertain whether we are doing well or not, and we are the only ones who understand our plans regarding the gender of our children.

It is evident that we possess a sound understanding of proportionality, which dictates that all children should be treated impartially. As you have previously stated, you treat your children with a high degree of objectivity and hold your eldest daughter in very high regard. This is a highly encouraging indication. Now that your eldest daughter also wishes to be involved in naming the younger brother, it is clear that she is eagerly anticipating the arrival of the new member and is prepared to offer him her support.

This has had a markedly beneficial impact on the overall family atmosphere, which is indicative of a state of contentment and well-being.

It is also possible that when your eldest daughter was young, she was subjected to criticism from others, or that she is currently experiencing the same situation. This could explain why she chose a name that sounds similar to what she wants and why she does not want to directly express that she named her brother to welcome him.

Indeed, it is evident that your eldest daughter was also subject to external influences at the outset. She similarly perceived that her name did not inherently define her identity, yet she also recognized that it was a representation of her.

However, as she matured and was guided by you, she came to recognize that this aspiration was a shared hope of yours.

As this expectation was ultimately fulfilled, she gradually came to comprehend one of your viewpoints. In essence, this constituted a process of coming to terms with the differing viewpoints held by each party.

As long as the family is able to accept this model and the characteristics of their interactions, there is no inherent problem. With regard to the views of others, it is important to recognise that the actions taken are for a reason, that they are meaningful, and that they will ultimately achieve the desired outcome.

Subsequently, this approach will prove effective.

It is imperative that we maintain this inner fortitude.

With regard to your second daughter, it is likely that she will have no difficulty in understanding the significance of their names, given the guidance of your eldest daughter.

Furthermore, parents may gain insight from this experience. For instance, they may learn which opinions and suggestions from others to heed and which to disregard in order to educate their children effectively.

It is my contention that, as a father, your inner strength is gradually growing in this way. An opinion from another person is not a conclusion based on an understanding of our foundation; it is not authoritative, comprehensive, or unbiased.

In this manner, self-confidence can be maintained.

Furthermore, your children will also be imbued with strength of heart under your influence. Therefore, I posit that this self-awareness of yours is a most beneficial review after the insights you gained through this incident.

It is my hope that the suggestions and words presented here will assist you in relieving your emotions and inner certainty, thereby enabling you to persevere. It is my further hope that your family's future will become more prosperous as a result, and that you will be able to make significant progress towards your overall goal.

You may peruse the text at your leisure, organize the information presented, and direct any inquiries to my personal homepage. We may then proceed with the discussion.

I await your reply and extend my best wishes to you.