What should I do if my parents, who are both 16 years old, are always hovering over me like helicopters and controlling everything I do?

Hello, landlord. I'm 18. I can see why your parents are worried. They're worried you'll make bad friends and drop out of school.

Your parents have been over-monitoring you. They have been monitoring your social life, your school, and your private space.

When I was 13-16, I had to tell my parents where I was going, what I was doing, and who I was going with. I didn't have any friends, and I only had a cell phone on weekends.

Parents watch you and look at you. They also care about you and love you.

My parents always told me I couldn't do anything right. But they took me to the hospital when I was sick and took care of me after I got back.

When I was 17 and depressed, they would ask me what was wrong whenever anything happened.

Your parents will never think badly of you. Talk to them and ask them to stop spying on you and interfering in your social life.

Don't judge a book by its cover when making friends. In my year of depression and anxiety at 17, I made friends who smoked, drank, and hung out in internet cafes, bars, and KTVs. Are these bad kids really bad? I had a breakdown at midnight. I felt physical discomfort and like I was losing my mind. I called my friend, a good student, to talk. He insulted me. He knew I was depressed and anxious but didn't offer comfort. He just said he was tired and wanted to sleep.

I called the bad boy in the eyes of those parents. He came downstairs, sat with me on the flower bed, talked to me, ordered takeout, and stayed until 2 a.m.

I was the first to comfort him when he failed two exams and was having a breakdown. When I needed someone to turn to, I got abuse.

The bad boy in my parents' eyes came over to keep me company and comfort me.

Listen carefully, and I hope this helps. Don't think about dropping out of school, even if you're not good at it. I worked part-time during my summer and winter vacations, and I've seen too many people drop out of junior high and high school. They ended up working on assembly lines, in factories, or as waiters. Many of them regret dropping out of school.

Watching them cry and regret. Glad they can still go to school.

Studying is easy but tiring. Working is also tiring but for different reasons.

When making friends, look beyond appearances.

Some people look nice but are mean. Some people look mean but are nice.

They move over, put out their cigarette, and stop swearing when they see a child, student, or pregnant woman. At home, they rant about him, but at school, they praise him.

That's all I have to say. If you have more to discuss, send me a private message. I can answer any questions you have.

Dear Question Asker, I empathize with your situation and want to extend my support.

From your question, I can discern your anger, rage, helplessness, and powerlessness. Being monitored in such an all-encompassing way by your parents, without any privacy of your own, feels like being stripped naked in public, exposed. That intense shame and anger is making you miserable. I can understand how you feel, and I can see why you have thoughts of giving up on yourself and destroying yourself. These are all defensive thoughts that arise in extreme anger, and it's normal. You have these negative thoughts about your family and yourself, so you have come to the platform of Yi Psychology for help, and you do not act on these wrong ideas that hurt yourself and others. This shows that you are kind at heart, and you know that this is wrong and bad. The positive thoughts and kindness in your heart have prevailed, driving you to seek help from the outside and find a solution to the problem.

Please explain the rationale behind your decision. From the perspective of your parents, let's examine the challenges they have presented.

Your parents' methods of forcing you to study and forbidding you to use your phone are indeed extreme and inappropriate. They have not considered your feelings nor have they noticed the harm this may bring you. However, if we examine the reasons behind these actions, it is clear that they are motivated by love. If they did not love you, they would not care if you wasted your time in such a beautiful age. If they did not love you, they would not consider your studies so important. You stand to benefit the most from learning more. While they may believe it will benefit them in some way, they feel that it is not as beneficial as the benefits you will gain after studying hard. If they did not love you, they would not care which friends you make or what you play on your phone. They are aware that it is wrong for them to peek at your phone, but they love you too much and are afraid that you will be led astray by others, ruin your future, and that they will lose you.

Ultimately, all of their actions stem from a place of love, and they love you too much to not support your decision.

My advice in this situation is to first ascertain your true objectives. What are your long-term career aspirations?

What type of work do you currently perform? Once you have considered all of these factors, you may wish to discuss them with your parents.

If you have no interest in pursuing an academic career, it is important to communicate this clearly to your parents. Let them know that you wish to delay your enrollment in higher education until you reach adulthood and are ready to enter the workforce. Explain that you want to enjoy the benefits of student life for a few more years and that you have chosen this path of your own accord. Assure them that you will not regret this decision in the future and that you will not hold them responsible for your choices. Even if the road ahead is challenging, you will persevere until you have completed your studies. If you communicate your intentions clearly and with respect, your parents will likely respect your decision. If you do not intend to pursue an academic career and still wish to continue your studies, discuss this with your parents. They can provide guidance and support, but it is essential to give you the space to grow and succeed independently. Demonstrate to your parents through your achievements that you can succeed in your studies without their direct supervision.

Best wishes for success in your endeavors.

Pursue your objectives with determination and make a courageous decision.

Hello, host. At 16, they're in high school. The work is tough. I get why parents have high expectations.

They know this is a key time when kids form their outlook on life and values. They want teachers and parents to support them in reflecting their own values in their studies and lives.

One wants independence, the other wants to control the other's behavior. These two needs lead to violent conflicts. A child's growth is also a process of becoming independent from parents. As parents, we often project our inner anxieties and anger onto our children.

They try to feel secure by controlling their children. As a good parent, you should support and encourage your child to explore the outside world without affecting their health, while watching them think and solve problems.

Good behavior, communication, and coordination with your children. Don't interfere too much in your children's private lives.

As adolescents, we also need to complete tasks, learn to coordinate, and communicate with teachers and classmates to improve academic performance. Strong social skills help us succeed in school. Parents understand this.

If you feel uncomfortable with your parents controlling your behavior, you can find a school psychologist or other professional to help you. This can help you feel better. I am happy to have an appointment.

Greetings, esteemed younger sibling.

I am a psychological counselor, Zeng Jiangjiang.

The observation of a lifestyle in which parents access their child's online accounts, review their communications, and even alter the settings on the home WiFi, can evoke a sense of being constrained and monitored. Furthermore, in such an environment, it can be challenging for children to receive recognition for their positive actions, and instead, they may be subjected to criticism for their actions.

It is undoubtedly challenging for you in the current family environment.

You are 16 years of age and should be enrolled in high school. I empathize with your situation, as I also experienced significant pressure during my high school years and had parents who did not approve of me. At the time, I felt a similar level of distress to what you are currently experiencing.

In retrospect, I have come to understand that the source of my difficulties during that period was my perception of my parents as the sole source of my world. As I matured, I came to recognize that I had emerged from the well and that the richness of the world was gradually becoming apparent to me.

Subsequently, I discussed this topic with my classmates, who had encountered similar experiences. Some engaged in verbal disputes with their parents, while others employed more passive-aggressive tactics. I developed a repertoire of strategies for navigating my relationship with my parents, although not all were applicable in every situation. However, I no longer felt isolated in my struggles and gained insights into the underlying fears that often drive such parental behaviors.

I have provided a summary of what I consider to be effective strategies for navigating challenging interactions with parents.

1. Attempt to become indifferent to the influence of your parents' words. It is acknowledged that this may be a challenging objective, but it is recommended that you attempt to remind yourself that each time you are admonished by your parents, you should reassure yourself that your destiny is in your own hands and not in the hands of others. It is also recommended that you attempt to remind yourself not to be unduly influenced by your parents' thoughts.

Concurrently, it is imperative to offer oneself considerable praise and affirmation, as well as the assertion that one is inherently excellent, capable, and deserving of affection.

2. It is imperative to cultivate a sense of accomplishment in all circumstances, regardless of whether one is experiencing positive or negative outcomes, or whether they are the victor or vanquished.

Given a clear understanding of one's destination, it becomes evident that each encountered obstacle serves as a valuable indicator of the necessary improvements to be made along the journey.

The fundamental principle of this technique is the identification of one's life goal.

One's life goal may be the activity one wishes to engage in most or least. Once identified, it can assist in overcoming obstacles.

3. Attempt to educate your parents. One strategy is to engage in conversation with your parents about your thoughts during a more relaxed time, with the goal of fostering a deeper understanding of your perspective.

Should this prove ineffective, an alternative approach would be to engage in discussion with the parents about the principles of effective parenting. This could include reference to relevant literature or online resources.

It should be noted that this technique does not yield immediate results and requires a sustained commitment to persistence and resilience. It is imperative to maintain perseverance and avoid abandoning the process prematurely.

One must not abandon the endeavor after a single attempt; rather, one should demonstrate patience and perseverance in pursuing the objective.

4. It is imperative to maintain a sense of hope for the future. Hope is arguably the most valuable quality one can possess, and it is essential to nurture it within oneself.

In The Shawshank Redemption, Andy was previously a banker who was wrongfully incarcerated for murder. He subsequently discovered that the warden was not only avaricious but also murdered individuals who could have exonerated him. Andy sought to apprehend the actual perpetrator and live the life of liberty he was entitled to. He spent 19 years excavating a tunnel to escape, fled on a stormy night, and revealed the warden's malevolent actions to the public, effectively punishing the warden.

It is my sincere hope that you will take the time to read this article and that it will contribute to your pursuit of intellectual freedom.

Hug you. You are in adolescence, the age of pursuing self-expression. However, you are tightly controlled by your parents, like an airtight net covering you. You are the butterfly caught in the net, flapping your wings but unable to break free. I can see your depression and helplessness.

You can save yourself by turning to a platform for help.

It is counterproductive to forbid children in high school with heavy academic workloads from making friends. Making friends helps children relieve physical and mental stress, share resources, communicate with others, and develop social skills, which are essential for good communication and cooperation in the future.

It is wrong to be unable to make friends and only study. A score-only approach does not bring about comprehensive development in children. Infringing on their personal space has already caused serious psychological harm.

What else can you do?

1. Seek help from the resources around you. For example, the school's psychological counselor, or a teacher you trust.

Your teacher has taught many students and will be able to help you. They can also communicate with your parents about your problems and get them to loosen up their fixed educational model.

2. Speak to your parents and tell them how you feel. You can even lose your temper. Just express your frustration.

Your parents are control freaks and not easily swayed, but they definitely don't want to see your academic performance decline or your physical and mental health suffer. They'll understand that your current distress has already affected your normal school life.

I am certain that if you tell your parents how you feel, they will understand. They don't want to see you drop out of school and get a job.

3. If you have a close friend or classmate whose parents are friends with your parents, you can communicate with them. Then, you can talk to your friend about your predicament and ask your friend to help you seek help from your parents.

If your best friend's parents are the kind of enlightened ones who will sympathize with your situation and convey it to your parents, do not hesitate to trust their words.

4. Improve your ability to resist detection. Set a password for your computer, change the passwords for your social media accounts, and delete chat history after chatting with your classmates. On the other hand, study hard and improve your grades. You will choose a university far away from home in the future.

Controlling parents will monitor your studies and dominate your life. They won't let you make your own choices, and you'll become their marionette.

Break free from your parents' control. Make use of the resources available to you. Build up your strength. And prepare for your departure.

You've got this!