What should I do if no one loves me? How can I become mentally healthy?

Well done!

Based on what you've told me, I have a few suggestions:

1. You embody love. As the questioner said, "What should I do if no one loves me?"

Love is something you have to learn to do for yourself. If you're anxious about love, you'll find it easy to get caught up in expectations and denial, living in the past and future. People with a positive attitude live in the present because love is a positive, intelligent, honest, hardworking, diligent, innovative, and persistent attitude. To become love itself, you have to represent love. With this understanding and active practice, you can love others and be loved by others.

2. How to improve interpersonal relationships. In the real world, we all have to deal with conflicts and contradictions in our relationships with others. The key is to start with kindness and love. This is also related to the previous question about interpersonal relationships. If you have love, you will respect others, listen well, express yourself effectively, and make improvements in your relationships with others, which will also improve your relationships.

3. Learn about neurosis. It's a strong psychological conflict that occurs when someone is unable to solve physical, psychological, or even social problems effectively.

If a neurotic disorder is characterized by obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, it's called obsessive-compulsive disorder. If a complex emotional state is composed of feelings such as nervousness and anxiety, it's called anxiety neurosis.

As the questioner said, we can't yet talk about a specific type of neurotic state. It's mostly about the character and psychological components that aren't adaptable.

4. Change unhealthy psychological problems. The questioner has already recognized that he has some unhealthy psychological issues and has started to make adjustments.

You can also make use of the wealth of resources on the Yi Psychology platform, read books on mental health, and try to identify the factors that contribute to unhealthy psychology. By interacting with positive people and things on the platform, and even through professional psychological counseling and treatment, you can gradually strengthen your positive psychological factors, thereby eliminating negative psychological factors, and you can adjust and say goodbye to an unhealthy state of mind.

I hope this is helpful to some extent.

Good day, my name is June.

From your question, I can ascertain that you are someone who enjoys philosophical discourse. Individuals who engage in such pursuits often find themselves in a state of solitude. This is because the majority of people tend to gravitate towards a carefree and joyful existence, and contemplation often leads to a certain degree of discomfort.

While my thinking may not be particularly profound, I hope to provide some useful reference points for ordinary people.

1. Is love a universal human need?

As social animals, humans require connections with others. Prolonged isolation and withdrawal from society can result in deterioration over time.

This can manifest as a degradation of thinking, language, or actions.

Therefore, Yang Guo had to be accompanied by a statue when he fell to the bottom of the Valley of Ruthless Compassion. When the old childish man was alone, he would engage in a form of self-competition. In essence, he was seeking a collaborative approach.

2. Why am I continually involved in the challenges of interpersonal relationships? It is also distressing to have a difficult relationship with other people.

If an individual has experienced harm during their formative years, they may unconsciously create circumstances in adulthood that allow them to repeatedly encounter the same situation, a phenomenon known as "compulsive repetition."

To illustrate, if a child's father was preoccupied when the child was young and did not experience being loved as a girl, the child may grow up to find a similarly busy man as a husband and continue to experience the feeling of "lack of love."

While these emotions and feelings are painful, they are also familiar and therefore safe.

If you find yourself continually engaged in interpersonal conflicts, it is essential to conduct a thorough analysis of the underlying causes and the benefits you derive from these recurring issues.

As Jung once observed, what we perceive as fate may in fact be the result of unconscious processes. If one is unable to analyse these processes independently, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a qualified counsellor.

3. What are the causes of psychological problems? How can an unhealthy mind be made healthy?

It is analogous to a tree. Some trees flourish in a favorable natural environment, with sufficient sunlight and precipitation, and can attain considerable height despite adverse conditions.

Some trees may appear to be in good condition, but they may develop issues over time. Some problems are related to the root system and may impact the tree's overall health. Others are related to the trunk and require long-term reinforcement and support. Some problems are related to the branches and can be easily treated.

To improve, it is essential to identify the underlying issue. If you believe your emotional difficulties are significant, it is advisable to seek medical attention at the earliest opportunity to facilitate a speedier recovery.

Depression can also be treated successfully, so it is important to have confidence in the capabilities of modern medicine.

I hope this information is useful to you. Best regards,

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

I am Kelly Shui, a psychotherapist, and on this winter night, I would like to discuss the topic of love.

What is the appropriate course of action if one feels unloved? How can one achieve mental health?

In the absence of feelings of love, individuals may turn to self-love as a substitute. The first step in this process is to establish a sense of self-worth.

Psychologist Le Bastide elucidates this line of thinking as follows:

The question thus arises as to why such thoughts are held.

Indeed, a considerable number of individuals adhere to this perspective. The underlying cause can be attributed to a discrepancy in communication patterns between adults, which manifests as a shift in attitudes compared to the selfless devotion observed in parent-child relationships.

The emotional world of adults is replete with a multitude of elements. While they are inclined to give, they also require a reciprocal exchange and are, to a certain extent, autonomous. Nevertheless, the desire for love is an intrinsic human need.

We must first consider how the psychology of being unloved develops.

1. A deficiency in self-confidence

Those who espouse the belief that "no one loves me" may, in fact, be driven by a profound need for praise from friends, a phenomenon that may be attributed to a dearth of affection in their upbringing.

Psychologists posit that this need for external validation is indicative of a deficit in self-assurance. During their formative years, children receive scant encouragement and affirmation from their parents, which may contribute to a sense of inadequacy.

As a result, we lack the confidence to believe that we are worthy of love.

2. Lack of self-understanding

We comprehend the present self, and it is conceivable that this is associated with the absence of growth during the process.

The past is accepted with equanimity, or with feelings of disappointment or pain.

It is important to recognize that despite the lack of familial love, companionship, and other forms of nurturing in one's past, and despite the insufficient love received from one's parents during childhood, it is still possible to understand that one's parents may have striven to provide the best care and support they could.

It is unfortunate that their parents were unable to express their love, which led to the erroneous belief that they were unloved.

We comprehend the past and the rationale behind our current beliefs, which are erroneous and stem from the notion of being unloved.

How might one substantiate a claim of mental health?

In addition, I will provide a few personal recommendations.

1. It is recommended that the individual engage in further introspection and maintain a record of their observations in a journal.

It is irrefutable that childhood experiences and growth play a significant role in an individual's mental health. One can engage in a more profound exploration of their childhood experiences, undertake a review of their own experiences and their relationship with their parents, and potentially gain objective insights and a more nuanced understanding of their parents' parenting styles. It is possible that they are the same parents that innumerable individuals have encountered.

Upon recognizing that they are not the "most unloved" child in the world, individuals are able to develop a more positive and optimistic outlook on life. This realization is a universal experience that can be beneficial in fostering personal growth and the formation of a sound personality.

2. Become an individual who is willing to express themselves and give.

Our relationships with others, including those we have with colleagues and acquaintances, necessitate the establishment of trust through interactions with others. This entails demonstrating sincerity and allowing others to perceive our affection.

As the ancients observed, one receives in proportion to what one gives. Rather than awaiting the arrival of love, it is preferable to cultivate its seeds, beginning with our friends, colleagues, and even strangers in our vicinity. This may be done with a smile, a compliment, an affirmation, or encouragement.

Indeed, when one gives, one is able to observe the joy of others and receive recognition. While there is nothing inherently wrong with happiness, expressing it often requires a willingness to take action, which can be challenging.

3. We accept the imperfections of life.

Indeed, it is recognized that imperfection and suffering are inherent aspects of life, and thus, the pursuit of perfection is not a viable or attainable goal. Perfection is merely an ideal state that does not exist in reality.

By ceasing to idealize and accepting imperfect life circumstances, individuals may experience a reduction in internal conflict and an enhanced capacity to overcome depression even in the absence of external support.

It is recommended that individuals engage in activities that promote personal growth and well-being. These may include attending a movie, reading books from the library, dining at a preferred restaurant, and purchasing a gift for oneself on a regular basis.

One may choose to focus on other aspects, such as hobbies, as a means of forming friendships with individuals who share similar interests.

It would be beneficial to spend more time with interesting and enjoyable individuals and less time with those who are critical and dismissive. Having positive relationships with friends during one's formative years can encourage personal growth and development.

While life may not be perfect, it is possible to create an ideal life for oneself.

The question thus arises as to whether a person always needs to be loved.

If one finds oneself in a situation akin to mine, where parental love is absent, a familial structure is lacking, relatives are indifferent, and interpersonal relationships are strained, what recourse is available if one is unable to find love?

It can be argued that humans require love during their formative years, as they are not yet equipped with the capacity to care for themselves and their emotional well-being. However, as they mature into adulthood, they are able to undergo a process of self-transformation through their own learning and development. The author's personal experience, despite a challenging relationship with their family of origin, has led them to cultivate a sense of self-love and invest in their own growth and development.

A change in one's social circle, coupled with a shift in family dynamics and a reduction in the proximity of one's loved ones, can afford individuals the opportunity to devote more time to the cultivation of their personal ideals.

Some of my acquaintances enjoy a cordial relationship with their parents and frequently dine with them in the evening. My relationship with my parents is less than optimal, so I began reading at an early age and developed a keen interest in the act of reading.

There are valuable insights to be gained from reading. I have found that reading extensively has led to a shift in my perspective, an enhancement of my self-assurance, and the opportunity to interact with a more diverse range of individuals.

Additionally, one gains a deeper understanding of oneself.

It is advised that one reads more and focuses on the present. It is not possible to change some things, nor the past, but one can take responsibility for one's present circumstances and persevere and work hard. One will thank oneself for one's actions in the present on a future date.

2. Why do I perpetually become enmeshed in the anguish of interpersonal relationships? It is similarly distressing to experience a challenging relationship with another individual.

Such individuals prioritize the needs of others over their own, leading to a lack of self-awareness and self-care. By understanding oneself, one can identify the underlying causes of difficulties and implement strategies for growth and self-improvement.

For those seeking insight into interpersonal relationships, the book Growing in Relationships may prove a valuable resource. It is possible that the pain experienced arises from a desire to break through one's current situation and a reluctance to accept one's life circumstances. Human problems are often complex, and it is not uncommon for pain to be inflicted upon us by others.

It is possible to differentiate between one's interpersonal relationships and one's emotional state, as well as to establish personal boundaries. While it is important to recognize the value of both oneself and others, it is of paramount importance to cultivate a healthy relationship with oneself.

The experience of suffering indicates a desire to grow, to break through, and to understand. This process is akin to the journey undertaken by the questioner in search of an answer.

3. What are the causes of various psychological disorders?

This is an excellent question, as we are all human beings with our own unique backgrounds, upbringings, parenting styles, and ages. Consequently, it is essential to understand and examine various psychological issues to identify which needs are unmet or lacking.

Psychological problems are not inherently problematic; however, failing to recognize their presence or allowing them to persist can have adverse effects. Individuals who are particularly thoughtful and outstanding may be particularly susceptible to the negative consequences of such problems.

Psychological problems are analogous to physical ailments. Given that individuals consume a diverse array of foods, it is inevitable that they will experience illness. The moon undergoes fluctuations, and emotions encompass a vast spectrum. When an individual is in a negative emotional state, it is a signal from the body that necessitates attention.

It is important to be mindful of her needs.

Professional counselors are equipped to address a wide range of psychological issues, while medical doctors are trained to treat various physical ailments.

In conclusion, I extend my best wishes to you.

I extend my affection to the world and to you.

Hello, questioner! You're struggling with the same problem I did. I still have trouble with relationships, but I've learned to accept it.

I'll tell you how I fixed it.

Maybe people mature and learn to love themselves as they get older. I used to care a lot about what other people thought. I would feel sad or overreact to the slightest slight.

Maybe I was a bit pretentious. I'm not judging you, I'm judging my younger self. Everyone experiences things differently, and your worries are your own.

My personality plays a part, but more so is the fact that after experiencing various things, I now tend to think that others' serious ingratiating personalities are partly due to my being too sensitive, and partly because it is just human nature. Selfishness, jealousy, anger, discrimination, ridicule, and so on have existed in human society since its development. Sometimes violence is caused just because you are different from others. Think about school bullying!

After realizing I was not wrong, I felt at ease. The book "The Courage to Be Disliked" says that dislike is a riddle for the other person. You have no right to feel distressed.

If a stranger or a friend doesn't love me, I can accept it. But what about my parents?

Shouldn't parents love us?

This was my biggest problem. Maybe it's because the market says parental love is the best, so I thought this way!

Parents are people too. If we say that people who love others should love themselves first, do we have the right to demand that they put us first?

We don't expect them to put us first, but we do expect some care and love in the family!

My parents don't know how to care for people. They are often neglectful and don't consider others' feelings. My father is especially suspicious and sarcastic.

Such an environment is not good for growing up or learning to love yourself.

I don't know if the original poster has heard of this saying: after adulthood, don't live with your parents.

There are many reasons, and they are all complicated. The main reason is that I feel mentally drained when I live with someone.

I live alone and feel free. I don't get depressed. I work, cook, read, and study. I feel safe.

Maybe being alone is a way for me to love myself. I like doing things I enjoy, like watching movies and cooking.

If you're still awkward about loving yourself, don't worry. Just take back your space and be happy on your own.

Kindness from others is just icing on the cake. Love yourself!

Best wishes!